


Inner Circle Next Gen

by hermajestymanon



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Next Gen, acotar next gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-07 02:13:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 67
Words: 276,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12223665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermajestymanon/pseuds/hermajestymanon
Summary: The stage shifts to the next generation of characters in the ACOTAR world after years of peace, the next gen face trials of the heart and trials of the flesh. Will they make it out alive or will they succumb to the darkness.





	1. Ash

***age five***

Lucien woke with a start, covered in sweat and looked around. The manor. He was in the Autumn Court manor. And that voice. He looked down to see a shock of red hair and vibrant green eyes.

His five year old son’s eyes looked in his direction and were filled with alarm, he breathed, “Ash. What are you doing awake?”

“I heard you screaming from my room. Are you okay?”

“I’m-I’m alright. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Ash narrowed his eyes, “You’re lying.”

“It was just a bad dream, Ash. You need to go to bed. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.”

Ash sat on the floor, planting himself, refusing to move, “I can help. Let me help.”

His son’s magic had begun to manifest itself. He had his fire but also his mother’s influence with nature and healing. Lucien’s own healing magic amplifying his son’s, making Ash wanting to help as much as he could. Lucien didn’t know if that was just a five-year-old thing or if it was from his magic. Either way, his son had extraordinary healing abilities.

He sighed, “If I let you help you go to bed right after, understood?”

Ash’s face cracked into a grin, “Understood.”

He got down to the floor, his contact with the ground letting Ash ‘see’ him. He didn’t want his son to see in his head, to see his nightmares. But that was how he healed, through mending trauma of the mind. He reluctantly led his son’s hands to his cheeks, near flinching at the warmth of his fingers.

* * *

Ash closed his eyes and furrowed his brows, concentrating. He saw flashes of red hair and black eyes. His brows furrowed and he delved deeper into his Papa’s subconscious. 

The black eyes sharpened, the red hair grew into focus. His heart began pounding, fear began pumping through his veins as he snarled at the red-haired woman.

 _“Climb your way back into the shit-hole you came out of Amaratha. No one wants you here. I don’t, the High Lords don’t_ ,” he looked down his nose at her, “Tamlin  _sure as fuck doesn’t_.” 

Ash nearly blinked at that language but pushed that thought away as a terrible smile stretched on the female’s - on  _Amarantha’s_ \- ruby lips as she stalked closer to him. 

“ _Little Lucien,”_ she purred.

The fear in his body grew to terror as he tried stepping backwards, only for his brothers -  _uncles-_ held him back, their nails digging into his biceps, their cruel laughs filling his ears. 

He thrashed against his uncles. His shoulders cried out, nearly out of their sockets as he thrashed. Ash’s fire-red hair fell into his eyes as he bucked forward and backwards, sweat making his tunic stick to him.

His uncles’ nails dug further into his arms, cutting bloody moons through the material of his shirts. His bones groaned in pain, his snarls echoing off the walls around him.

They hunkered down, and his bones cried out in pain, his growls echoed against the walls around him as he barked, “ _Let me fucking go. I’ll kill you. I swear on the Cauldron, the Mother. Let me go. I will fucking_ kill you.” 

Amaratha took his face into her slender fingers, caressingly, like a lover. “I could kill you,” she said lightly. “I could let your brothers kill you.”

 _Jesminda_ -

He could be with-

“ _But_ ,” she sighed. “I do not need a war. But I will not be insulted in my own court.” 

She caressed the skin beneath his left eye. His eyes darted between her cruel smile and her fingers, to Jurian’s whirling wild eye.  No,  _no_. His- his  _papa’s-_  eye. She was going to take his papa’s eye.  _The bitch was going to take_ -

He jerked back, trying to shake his face away from her hands. His uncles’ tightened their grips around his shoulders and forearms. His bones, his tissue, his  _blood_ cried out in pain. Sweat coated his golden skin as he-

Ash’s magic surged forward, blanketing the scene, taking away Amaratha and his uncles and the pain. He couldnt take the whole thing, he wouldn’t ever be able to do something like that.

But maybe, maybe it’ll help his papa sleep. Maybe the awful female wont appear to him much anymore.

Ash nearly gasped out as he drew breath in, calming the blood in his veins. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t  _his_ memory. it wasn’t  _his_ pain but Mother it felt like it had been. 

He looked up at his papa’s drawn, tight face. “Who’s Jesminda?”

Ash heard his papa’s heart shudder and he let him pick him up. He rested his head on his shoulder as they walked back down to his rooms. “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he whispered against his temple.

* * *

 

 


	2. Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eight year old Ash Vanserra Archeron happens across a bastard-born at his Uncle Cassian's camp

 

***Three years Later***

Ash was sent to the war camps to “train” with his Uncle Cassian while Dacia went to spend time with Aunt Feyre. He wanted to stay close to his mother as she was pregnant with his sisters but she firmly told him that she needed some alone time with his father...whatever that meant.

While the Illyrains slept, and his  _uncle_ , Ash wandered around the camp. He weaved around tents and past the pits, following his senses to someone hurt. “Hey.”

He sensed the boy look at him, could hear the pounding of the boy’s heart, could smell the boy’s fear. He heard the boy get to his feet and  _run_. Ash clenched his teeth and followed after him.

His hair matted down from the rain as he ran and he was so  _cold_. Thirty minutes of wandering later, Ash finally picked up the clove and cypress scent of the boy. Beofre the boy could run, Ash stalked up to him and grabbed his arm. “If you take off again and I have to wander around looking for you, you are going to regret it.”

Fear flooded the boy’s scent and Ash instantly regretted his words. “Look,” the boy’s voice cracked, “I don’t- I don’t have anything for you to take, okay? I have nothing you could want. You’re too big for my clothes.”

Ash blinked and let go of the boy’s arm. “You think I was going to  _hurt_ you? I just wanted to heal your nose!” 

He sensed the boy looking him over, suspicion filling his wavering voice.“ _What_?”

Pursing his lips, Ash sighed sharply and placed his fingers on the bridge of the boy’s nose and poured his healing into it. “That’s it. Follow me and if you run again and I can’t see you, we’re going to have  _problems,_ friend.”

The boy’s heart shuddered in his chest. “What do you mean ‘cant see me’?”

He sighed painfully. “I am  _blind_ , you  _moron_. I see through the vibrations in the ground.”

The boy went quiet. Ash could imagine the boy studying him, looking for the lie in his words. His scent was charged with pure flight or fight. “Oh,” he whispered finally. “Sorry.”

Ash refrained from rolling his eyes and held out a hand to the boy. A heartbeat later, an impossibly small hand took his and Ash helped him up. “Come on, you are coming with me.”

The boy froze. “Where are we going.”

He sighed, “Just come on.”

* * *

Cassian heard his nephew leave the house nearly an hour ago. But he had eyes on him the entire time he really didn’t feel like telling Elain that her son got into a fight and had his shoes taken from him. But he knew his redheaded nephew would put up a fight. He had been practicing throwing punches and finding a person’s weak spots through their vibrations. The kid was a quick study.

Sitting at the table, Cassian took a long drink out of his mug, his feet up on the table, stopping Ash from seeing him wait up. Finally after nursing three cups of coffee, the door opened and Ash stalked through, his hair matted down and ears bright red. He left without his coat? Lovely. His mother was going to murder him and then Nesta was going to murder him  _again_  for letting her nephew go without his coat. “ _Ash_ ,” he barked.

Cassian tipped his head back and laughed at Ash nearly jumping out of his skin. But it cut off as a small boy trailed in after Ash. A boy with hazel-gold eyes and ash-gold ratty hair and a face full of freckles and a body full of bruises. Cassian took note of the boy’s slumped wings, he couldn’t fly. The boy stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes wide with fear and he started stumbling over his words. “Commander. I- I’m sorry, I did- didn’t realize this was  _your_ home.”

Cassian kept his eyes on the boy. “Ash, who is this?”

His nephew shrugged fluidly, “Don’t know. I found him with a broken nose and had to spend for _ever_ to find him after he ran away before I could heal him.” Ash looked at the boy and then in his direction. “He doesn’t have anywhere to go.”

Memories slammed into Cassian, memories of finding and fighting Rhys and the Night Court Heir bringing him into his home. He looked at the boy, at the boy’s desperate, restless look that he knew all too well. “What’s your name, Kid?”

The boy visibly swallowed and Ash tightened his hold on his hand, stopping him from backing up and running. Despite the fear plain on his face, the boy cut Ash a glare and then looked at him with wide, wide eyes. “B-Baylor, sir.”

Cassian smiled at him and got to his feet. “Well Bay. Let’s get you some soup.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are loved XO


	3. Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash and Bay learn something profound while they prevent a forest fire from Lucien and Nesta fighting.

**_Age Sixteen_ **

* * *

 

Ash leaned against the doorway of the bathroom and tilted his head back against the wall, impatience flaring through him. “Dacia, if you do not hurry your ass up, I’m leaving without you.”

From inside the bathroom, Dacia sighed deeply, “Some of us take pride in our appearance, Ash.”

He pushed off the wall and leaned against the doorframe, looking at his sister with a raised brow. “Are you saying I  _dont_? We both know that I just happen to look better. It’s not my fault but it’s a cross I’m willing to bare.”

She snorted and pushed past him, her perfume filling his nose; she smelled like rose petals. The very same rose petals that a certain female in the city liked. A smug smile stretched across his face as he swung around to face her, “Cia, does father know you’re going to go see your lady-love?”

“No,” she snapped, glaring at him. “And you aren’t going to tell him either.” He could imagine his sister flipping her golden hair over her shoulder. “Besides, it’s nothing serious.”

He held up his hands. “Bay and I are going to be spending the time making sure Father and Nesta don’t burn down the estate. I’ll cover you, all you gotta do is say please.”

She glared at him. “Seriously.”

He grinned at her, tying his hair back with a strap of leather. “Nah, you go do your thing, the parental units will be occupied. Besides, one of us needs to get laid.”

Dacia burst out lauging and she kissed his cheek. “I knew there was a reason you were my favorite brother.”

He wiped it away and cut her a glare. “I’m your only brother.”

* * *

Ash leaned against the tree, taking a bite from his apple while simultaniously keeping a shield around the field, keeping his father and Nesta’s flames from reaching the trees. “Twenty coin says Father explodes first.”

From high up in the tree, his brother snorted. “That’s not a bet, Ash. Nesta baits your father every year.”

“It’s become a family tradition, I suppose.” Ash mused, taking another bite from his fruit. 

The flapping of Bay’s wings filled his ears and suddenly his brother was down next to him with his arms crossed; Ash had easily ten inches on him. “How did Dacia manage to get out of this?”

Ash shrugged. “I told her I’d cover her. I don’t want to deal with a pissy Dacia when I have to deal with a pissy father. It’s just redundant.”

The smell of charred grass filled Ash’s nose, the air pulsed with invisible flame. All it would take was a simple word, just the right word from his aunt’s mouth to ignite his father’s flames. But just when Ash was preparing himself to extinguish the fire, the wind picked up and Nesta’s scent carried. 

Oh Cauldron.

Bay must have scented it too because his friend’s heart shuddered in his chest and he inhaled sharply. “ _Nesta_.”

* * *

Just when Lucien was ready to launch his flames towards his icy sister-in-law, the wind picked up, her ember and firewood scent washed over him and he stopped in his tracks. “Nesta, when was the last time your mate was home?”

Nesta’s steely eyes narrowed and she rose her chin. “I’m sure it’s none of your business, Lucien.”

He rolled his eyes, “Hasn’t anyone commented on your scent? Have you been sick recently?”

Nesta’s brows furrowed and then shot up, her hand going to her stomach. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered. 

Lucien snorted and folded his arms over his chest. “So  _very_ observant, Nesta.” She narrowed her eyes and the last thing Lucien saw, was her fist.

* * *

Nesta wrung out her hand and glared down at her brother-in-law. She sighed. Oh Elain, her gentle sister was going to be so disappointed. She promised she wouldn’t fight with Lucien.

Shaking her head, Nesta lifted her eyes to the treeline to where her nephew and her son were waiting. Ash leaned against the tree with a wicked, amused grin rested on his golden face and her son, Bay, his eyes were wide behind his glasses.

She wrapped darkness around herself and winnowed.

* * *

Biting into his apple, Ash waited for his aunt to reappear and when she did, Ash fling his apple behind him and hooked his arm around his shoulder to which she immediately shrugged off. “Was it really necessary to knock out my father.”

“I was checking to see how observant he was.”

“Uh huh,” Ash snorted. He slung his arm around Bay’s shoulder, earning himself a glare and a shrug off. “Bay, help me get Father inside?”

Bay’s eye roll was almost audible. “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are loved XO


	4. Flames and Embers: A Nessian Pregnancy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nesta gives Birth and everything goes wrong.

Barefoot as always, Ash Acheron, Heir to the Autumn Court was dragged to Hybern by his sister. She insisted that they keep the Queen and King company while she prepares for the birth of her children.

“Cia. Is it really necessary that we see Nesta? I’m sure she and Cassian are busy with preparing for the babies and the approaching Blood Rites.”

She smacked his arm, cutting him a glare. “Yes, it is necessary. She was there for your birth now you will be there for the our cousins’ births.”

“The twins don’t have to go.” he accused, folding his arms over his chest. 

“That’s because they are helping Father prepare for the Equinox. Besides, Nesta has had a difficult pregnancy and with your healing abilities, it’s right for you to be here.”

He sighed. True.

“Oh come on, Ash.” she crowed, “ It’s time to put you to use. Unless the rumors of you being nothing but pretty hair and reckless decisions are  _true_.”

He pointed at her, “that is a  _lie_ , sister. I am plenty useful.”

She walked ahead of him and he drawled, “Careful,” just for her to trip over an exposed root, nearly fall on her face. Ash laughed.

* * *

Dacia put her hands in front of her, blocking the fall before she hit the ground. She whipped her head around and cut her brother a look. “Thanks for the warning, Ash.”

He held out a hand and gave her a lazy grin, his bright green eyes glittering in amusement. “I  _told_ you to be careful.”

Dacia huffed and took his hand. He pulled her to her feet and they went the rest of the way to the castle doors where two females stood guard and judging by their grins, they saw her fall flat on her face. The taller of the two inclined her head, “Lord. High Lady Dacia.”

Dacia smiled and Ash just shoved his hands in his pockets. “Is Bay here?”

“Yes,” said the second guard. “he’s in the courtyard sparring with the King, preparing for the Blood Rite. Would you like me to alert them?”

Ash debated and then shook his head. Bay wouldn’t appreciate getting distracted so soon to the Blood Rite. Though why he was worrying so much, he didn’t know. Bay could take any of the Illyrians on without breaking a sweat. “No, let him prepare. I need to go say hello to my favorite Aunt.”

Dacia elbowed him, “Don’t let Feyre hear you say that.”

Ash rolled his eyes and held a hand out in front of him. “Lead the way, Sis.”

Dacia flipped back her hair and stalked forward.

* * *

The sound of running water filled Nesta’s ears as she brought cool water up to splash her face in attempt to stop the heat flushing her face.

“Nesta?”

Her eyes lifted to the mirror to see her nephew leaning against the 

She looked up into the mirror. Ash was leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed. The usual smirk was replaced with a grim line.

“What?”

He narrowed his eyes, pushing off the frame and stalked over, taking her face into his hands, the sharp tang of magic hit her nose as he placed the back of his hand on her forehead, “You’re ill. How long have you had a fever?”

She glared at the sharpness in his voice and swallowed thickly. “Since this morning. I’ I’ve tried getting it lower but nothing’s worked.”

“You are going to bed, right  _now_. I don’t care if you are queen or can roast me from inside out. You are going to listen to me or else you’ll end up having your babies two months early. Understood?”

Dacia leaned on the railing watching Cassian and Baylor spar. She was itching to get out there and spar too. Bay… he was rather good. Better than good even. Just as good as Blake. Who would have thought the bookworm was good at sparring? Then again, he was trained by Cassian.

Bay’s ash-gold hair slicked to his forehead, dripping sweat into his eyes as he punched over and over into the gloves. Dacia took in the steel determination in Bay’s granite freckled face as he punched over and over again.

Braiding her golden hair back into a tight braid, Dacia rolled her shoulders and leaped over the railing, freefalling and rolling into a crouch. Standing fluidly, Dacia sauntered over to the ring and folded her hands behind her back and tilted her head. “You boys mind if I join you?”

* * *

Bay lowered his fists and looked Dacia over warily. His eyes narrowed at the disarmingly chipper smile on her lips. A weapon in the High Lady’s arsenal, her mask.

Next to him, Cassian nudged Bay’s shoulder. “It’s up to you, Bay. You’re the one going into the Blood Rite.”

Bay ran his bandaged hands through his hair, his heart pounding through every inch of him as the sun beat down on him, as he studied the High Lady. He toyed with the idea of saying no, so he wouldn’t have to worry about her seeing far more than Bay was okay with. But he quickly discared that thought and said, “Sure.”

* * *

Dacia climbed over the rope, her feet landing firm on the mat, her braid falling between her shoulder blades as she grinned down at Bay. “You want me to go easy on you? I don’t want to have to tell my brother that I broke his best friend.”

He gave her a flat look and Cassian sighed, “here we go. I’m going to go check on Nesta.  _Try_ not to kill each other. Nesta is rather attached to you, Bay. And Elain would kill me if anything happened to her eldest.” She snorted as Cassian flew up to the balcony.

Bay rolled his eyes as he held up his fists. They started sparring slowly and let it build and build before they were full on fighting and a single mistake would have the other on their back. “Care to make it interesting?” She panted.

“How so?” 

“I have a friend She-” His face paled to the sheet of paper and she stopped and sighed,  “What do you actually  _do_ when Ash tries to talk to girls?”

Bay’s entire face froze over, his hazel-green eyes hard chips of ice. “I’m not sure it’s any of your business, Dacia.” 

She held up her hands in defeat. Last thing she needed was Bay’s temper snapped. It was even worse than Ash’s. It was cold and deliberate and unshapeable. Like Nate’s.“Okay, okay. Let’s spar.”

* * *

Cassian took off his mits and swaggered into the bedroom, freezing midstep, looking at his mate laying on her side, her hand on her round stomach, as she looked at their nephew. Sweat stuck to the back of her gown. Ash, leaning down, eyebrows knitted, Cassian could smell the worry coming off of him.

“Can you fix it? I still have two months.” her hand was clasped onto Ash’s forearm, her nails digging into his golden skin.

Ash placed a hand on Nesta’s stomach, “I’m sorry, you..you need to have the babies now.” Ash looked at him, “go get a healer, water, and towels.” He barked, “ _Now_.”

* * *

Her fever had spiked in the last thirty minutes. She was hot and her heart was pounding. As Cassian flew out of the room, Nesta croaked, “I’m really sick.” It wasn’t a question. She had seen Elain give birth three times and she had watched her little sister try to heal pregnant females. Some, despite her best efforts, had died in childbirth. It left a mark on Elain’s heart.

Ash’s face was pale. He nodded,  “I’m going to do everything in my power to save you and the babies.”

She squeezed his hand, her voice hard, “You make sure the babies are safe  _before_ you try to heal me. Promise me Ash.” Her children deserved to live and Cassian, he would be broken if they lost them.

He kissed her forehead, his lips cool to the touch, “I promise.”

* * *

 His heart was pounding so hard as Cassian searched for the healer. He looked in her chambers, in the kitchen, everywhere. It was ten minutes before he found the female, Elethea, coming out of the healer’s station. He was such an

_idiot_

. Of course she was there. The female’s eyes were a soft grey and black hair was pulled up behind her. She carried a trained calmness in her features that only a healer could master. She said, “My King, what is it?”

“It’s Nesta. Ash sped up the pregnancy. The twins were at risk. Her fever spiked and they need to be born  _now_.”

Cassian could almost see the calculations run in her mind. She asked, “Where?”

“Our chambers.”

Her face set into granite; hard and unyielding. Turning around she went back to her station and pulled out her supplies and ran ahead of him.

Bay. He needed to get Bay.

Turning on his heel, Cassian flew down the chambers and out through the balcony.

* * *

Dacia grinned down at Baylor. The Illyrian was on his back, his glasses slightly askew as he said, “Tripping. Really. You’re going to resort to  _tripping_ me?”

Offering him her hand, she pulled him back up. He was a head taller than her.

She gave him a grin, “It worked didn’t it?”

Rolling his eyes, he straightened his glasses and held up his fists, “Round Two.”

Setting her feet, she held up her own fists.

“ _Bay_.”

Turning to the voice, Cassian was flying in front of the balcony doors, his siphons were gleaming in the sunlight. He barked, “Nesta’s in labor. Get inside.” He didn’t wait for them, he flew back inside.

Her heart stopped.

Without looking at her, Baylor lifted out of the ring and flew inside. Why did she get fur and claws instead of wings? It really wasn’t fair.

It was hard to con It was an effort to not shift into fur and claws as she ran for the stairs. Taking two steps at a time, tripping on the second to last one. A growl escaped her lips as she stood back up, her hair unravelled from its braid, and climbed the last step.

She ran down the hall towards her aunt and her brother.

* * *

The sheets started to heat beneath the palms of her hands and she propped herself up. The silk rolled up into curled ashes, blowing out the windows that Ash opened.

A sharp pain wrapped around her spine. A contraction.

Ash wiped the sweat from her face. Her labor and fever made her so unbelievably hot.

“It’ll be  _okay_ , Nesta.”

“Do you really believe that or are you just telling me what I want to hear?” She snapped.

If he was hurt, it didn’t show on his features. He was an expert at hiding his emotions, at least he was until they got too heavy.

Sighing, she closed her eyes. She could feel a tear falling past her lashes and down her face. The tear tracks were cool against the breeze coming from the windows. She could almost see the golden thread between her and Cassian start to unravel, strand by strand.

Taking a deep breath, Nesta willed her heart to keep beating and her lungs to fill. She needed to stay alive, if only to have her children born.

Elethea burst into the room. Her hair was unraveling from the leather strap the healer used to tie back her hair. The surgical blade atop the towels glinted in the sunlight. Cassian and Baylor were on her heel and Dacia not far behind them.

Elethea positioned herself between Nesta’s legs, “Are you ready, Your Majesty?”

The healer’s shape was cloudy as Nesta fought off darkness. She nodded.

* * *

Baylor and Cassian stood on either side of the Queen. Their faces were unmovable masks, their wings tucked carefully behind them.

Pushing up the Queen’s skirts over her knees, Elethea positioned her hands around her stomach. Her skin was scorching from her fever.

“Ash, you were right to speed up the pregnancy. If you had waited any longer, it would have killed both the fetuses.”

* * *

Did they hear it? Or was it just him? Whether it was through his magic or his heightened hearing, he heard the third heart stop. No. No. No,  _no, no, no, **no**_.

The sheets bunched in his hands from him keeping himself from igniting the fire smoldering in his veins. He growled,“Cut her open! She needs to be cut open, right now!”

Grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, Dacia pulled him backwards, away from the bed. He could hear the low growl in her throat as she ordered, “Calm down, Ash. You. Need. To. Calm. Down.  _Right. Now_.”

His older sister was several inches shorter than he was, but she had brute strength and was much stronger than he was.

“Let Thea do her job, Ash.”

“The Lord is right,” Elethea said. Her voice was granite. The sound of ripping cloth filled his ears. The healer was the rest of the skirts, “If they’re born vaginally, it could kill them both. There’s just not-”  _Rip_. “enough time.”

* * *

Rubbing small circles across her back, Cassian swallowed the panic back. He was the commander of the Illyrian armies. He had seen death, he had caused death, for hundreds of years.

He had also seen countless females give birth. He had even seen females cut open from one end of the pubic bone one to the other and had seen children pulled out. Alive. But this was different. This was  _his_ wife. This was  _his_ mate. And these, these were  _his_ children.

“Dacia, take Ash out,  _right now_. Go wait in the hall,” he growled. Ash was not helping matters. He was on edge, nearly setting the curtains on fire and his growling. He needed to focus on Nesta and the babies, not worrying about Ash freaking out and setting everything on fire.

“No,” Elethea shook her head, the rest of her hair coming out of the leather strap. Her midnight hair cascaded down her back. “We have need for his healing magic.”

He wanted to argue. Ash cared more about people than most people he had met, just like his mother. But Elethea was right. Ash’s own healing magic was greater than that of his mother. If something went wrong, he needed to be close by.

His nephew must have realized just how vital his part in this delivery was as the temperature in the room started to lower back down to normal.

“I’m okay,” Ash choked out. Dacia let go of her brother. He swore to her, “I’m better now.  _I can help_.”

* * *

“Lay back onto the pillow, Your Majesty. This is going to hurt.”

Doing as she ordered, the Queen rested her head back onto her pillows. A growl vibrated through her body as she said, “I don’t care, just get them out.  _Alive_.”

Dipping into the boiling water, Elethea waited three seconds, the water taking away any contaminants from the surgical blade.

Breathing deeply, Elethea pierced the skin at the Queen’s pubic bone and cut across, horizontally, to the other side. Shallowly, not deep enough to cut the muscle. The Queen cried out as she was cut open.

The King’s breathing was shallow and his his pupils were wide. Elethea could tell that he was on the brink of becoming feral.

“If you do not calm down, Your Majesty, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” she warned. Not only was it dangerous to the Queen or the infants, it was dangerous to every person in the room.

She heard him take a deep breath. She glanced up at him, his pupils had gone back to normal, “ _Good_.”

* * *

Keeping his focus on Nesta, he brushed back her hair, the sun illuminating the gold in her locks. He murmured, “You’re doing good, Sweetheart. They’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.”

Squeezing his hand, tears slid down Nesta’s flushed cheek. Her eyes were unfocused. He wasn’t sure who he was comforting. Himself or her.

Elethea pushed apart the stomach muscles and lifted out the first baby. First, he saw the beautiful wings. Those glorious Illyrian wings. They were a bit small, but he supposed being born premature had that effect on wings. Second, he saw the shock of black hair, just like his.

Elethea pushed back the child’s eyelids. He saw a flash of hazel. But when he looked back at Elethea’s face, her carefully crafted mask cracked, sadness leaked through.

Her voice was tight, “Dacia, take him. Ash, you need to put all your magic into helping him.”

A sob broke from Nesta.

Taking the his child, Dacia led Ash to the dresser.

Wait. She said ‘him’.

Him.

 _Him_.

He had a son and he was-

“Do it,” Cassian choked out, “If anyone could heal him, it’s Ash.” His nephew’s healing magic surpassed his sisters, Feyre’s, even Elain’s.

* * *

Letting Dacia lay the babe on the dresser, she got out of the way as Ash palmed his hand underneath the baby’s head and placed his other across his small chest. There was no heartbeat.

Deep within the source of his magic, it told him that he couldn’t heal him. He didn’t listen. This was his cousin, his family and he was going to do everything in his power to save him.

The sharp tang of magic burned through his nose as he poured it into the small body. Even with his temples now pounding, even with his nose now bleeding, he pressed on.

“ _Please_ ,” he whispered.

\---------

The cord unraveled faster between her and her mate. Faster and faster, but she couldn’t tell him. She didn’t want to say goodbye. She wanted to spend eternity with her mate and her children. Still, she couldn’t tell Cassian that she made Ash swear to not touch her until both her children were safe..

“Cass. His name is Cassian .,” she choked out. Tears burned down her face as she watched Elethea lift out her second child. She saw the shock of golden brown hair feathered across the top of her child’s head. She saw her own blue grey eyes and she saw the beautiful wings.

“Dacia,” the healer barked, her hand run across the babe’s chest, “Her lungs are undeveloped. Heal them.  _Now_.”

Dacia’s throat bobbed as she took her.

Her.

 _Her_.

She had a daughter. Fresh tears slid down Nesta’s face.

* * *

Dacia placed her palm across the babe’s chest and poured her magic into her chest, willing her lungs to raise and deflate and heal all at once.

While she did this, her brother kept pouring his magic into the other baby.

* * *

There it was. The most beautiful sound she had ever heard. She was alive.

Her head was so light. So very,  _very_ light.

“It’s a female, Nesta,” Dacia told her.

A sob broke from her as she said, “Give her to me.”

She marveled at the baby, her child, her  _daughter_ , that Dacia placed in her arms. She was losing this fight and she still had so much to do. She needed to tell Bay that it was okay, that she knew his secret and that it was okay, that she was proud to have raised such a wonderful male. She had to tell him before she went.

Handing their daughter to her husband, Nesta turned to her other son, his face crumbled when she took Baylor’s hand.

* * *

Looking down at his daughter, Nesta’s eyes looked back at him, icy and proud. She will be an amazing warrior. And she is  ** _never_** setting foot in an Illyrian war camp.

Glancing over at Ash, his shoulders were locked into place and he poured his magic into his son, trying to revive him. His nephew was trying to twist nature and revive him. If anyone could do such a thing, it was Ash Archeron.

* * *

Nesta’s face was pale as she took Baylor’s hand, murmuring, “I know, Bay. I know your secret and I want you to know, that it’s  _okay_. I love you and am so...proud....of...”

Handing Dacia the baby, Cassian took Nesta’s shoulders, shaking them.

Falling to his knees, Baylor’s face broke apart in tears.

Cassian continued to shake her shoulders, “Nesta.  _Nesta_! Wake up! Ash, heal her.  _Heal her right now_.”

He started compressions on her heart, willing it start again.

She had never seen her brother as broken as she was right now. Ash’s voice was hoarse, as if he had been screaming, “I c- I couldn’t save him.”

Her heart shattered, as did Cassian’s, she knew, but he continued the compressions, trying to save his wife.

* * *

He placed his hand on his Aunt’s forehead and poured the remaining tendrils of his healing magic into her body.

“ _Breathe, breathe, breathe_.” His nose still bleeding, he begged.

“Come on, Nesta. Your a fighter. Come back to me,” Cassian begged, with each compression.

But Ash knew, she wasn’t coming back.

* * *

Dacia held the child and watched as her brother and Cassian tried to save Nesta. But she knew.

“Please, Nesta.  _Don’t go_.” Ash’s shoulders heaved as tears came down his face, mixing with the blood still dripping out his nose.

“Ash,” she said, “You need to stop,” the words tasted like wrong in her mouth, “You’re going to burn out if you don’t.”

Cassian looked up at her brother, he whispered, “She’s gone.”

She knew the commander was breaking inside. He turned around and punched the wall. The frames knocking off on impact of his fist. He kept punching, over and over until his fist went through the stone. Then he punched again and again until he slid to his knees, his bleeding hands on his face.

But Ash didn’t stop. He was going to kill himself to try to bring her back. Looking at Baylor, his face was pure white, filled with rage and despair. He met her glance and nodded.

“Ash. You got to stop,” he said. “You’re going to  _kill yourself_ -”

Ash didn’t listen to him either.

Helplessness was written across his face as he looked back at her. She glanced between him and the open windows and Ash, hoping he got the idea.

Nodding, he pulled his arms around Ash and flew backwards, through the open windows, and into the sky.

Her brother’s scream and growls vibrated off the side of the building. He was completely blind without being connected to the earth.

* * *

Tears stained Dacia’s face when Cassian looked up at her. His daughter was quiet in her arms.

“Give her to me,” he choked, “Give me the baby.”

“Are you...okay, now?” No, he wasn’t. It will be a long,  _long_ time before he’s ever okay, again.  _If_ he was ever going to be okay again. But he still had his baby girl and he still had Bay.

He ordered, “Give me my daughter.”

She hesitated a second before handing her to him, no doubt worried that he might accidentally hurt his daughter.

“Now bring me my son.”

Nodding, she went over to the dresser and wrapped the towel around the babe.

Kneeling down, she handed the babe to him. He looked peaceful. Like he was sleeping.

 He wanted his daughter to be able to look to the sky and see the moon and stars every night. To let the night sky comfort her the way he was comforted. In his native tounge, his Illyrian roots, he named her Aysel Nesta Archeron. His moon.


	5. Chapter 5

No one had seen or heard from Ash for nearly three weeks after Nesta and the baby died. His friend took clothes and left. He was supposed to be getting ready for the Blood Rite, instead he was searching for his best friend. Bay shoved the grief down and took out the snare.

Nesta and the baby died, Cassian was different. More quiet, he didn’t smile as much. But Baby Aysel was the only one who managed to get any reaction from him. And Ash, he took it hard as well. He stopped training and had been looking for his friend for the past two weeks.

Knowing Ash, he blamed himself for their deaths. And knowing Ash, he was going to do something very reckless and very stupid and it was his job to keep his friend from jumping.

Setting the snare and laying the cloak inside, Baylor sat high up in the tree and waited.

Twenty minutes later, he heard the snag. Flapping his wings he landed on the soft grass, bow in one hand, and arrow in the other.

“If it isn’t the bastard-born Baylor,” the Suriel mused, “What can I do for you?”

Notching his arrow, he lifted his chin, “I have some questions and you are going to answer them. No games, no word play. Answer them, and I’ll let you go.”

The Suriel gave him a lipless smile, “Two questions.”

“Where is Ash Archeron?”

“It’s interesting,” The Suriel mused, “I saw the male not three days ago. He had such interesting questions. ‘How do you rid yourself of magic?’ ‘Is there a way to bring someone back from the dead?’ It would seem the youngling is in much pain.”

_Oh Ash, what are you trying to do?_

Baylor pointed his arrow, “ _Answer me_.”

* * *

Pink silk pooled around her mother as she sat quietly in her garden. She barely spoke for the past week. Between her grieving for Nesta and worrying about Ash, her mother had become so quiet. It wasn’t like him to just disappear. She feared that him being unable to heal Nesta and the baby broke him. How do you help someone when they blame themselves?

It was Fia who found the note. It was nearly illegible, Ash’s handwriting, but she could make it out. 

_I’m sorry. Don’t come looking for me. Ash._

Her father had incinerated the note and sent sentries out looking for him, he himself went too. But Dacia knew that if Ash didn’t want to be found, there was only one person who could find him. And that was Bay.

* * *

“You will find the youngling in the Dawn Court. Last question, choose it well.”

“How do I help him?”

The sly humor had evaporated from the Suriel’s voice, “You can’t but in time, a female of the darkest skin and the lightest hair, she will bring him back. She will bring back the Lord you have grown to love as a brother. But it is up to you and the High Lady of Spring to keep him tethered to this world until then.”

This female must be special, “When will he meet her?”

The Suriel was quiet for minutes before, “ In five times four years, the stars will fall and the daughter of Summer will visit the Night. Be sure, the Lord of Autumn is there. Now release me. You and the High Lady need to get to the Lord before his grief causes him to do something irreversible.”

Knocking back his arrow, Baylor  sent it into the trap, unraveling the snare. The Suriel had taken the cloak and ran.

Running his hand through his ashy blonde hair, Baylor sighed. As much as he liked Dacia, she was a bit much at times. Truthfully he was jealous of the female and her openness about who she was. He didn’t possess that kind of bravery. But, if the Suriel said he needed her, then he would bring her with him to the Dawn Court.

Spreading out his wings, he could feel the warm air sing against them. He lifted off the ground and flew into the direction of the Spring Court and Dacia.


	6. Chapter 6

He had entered the Summer Court days ago. The heat didn’t bother him, not when flames were in his veins. But the sun still made his skin burn. Turns out being a redhead makes one prone to sunburns.

His aunt, Feyre, had told him of the waters of the Summer Court. He had even swam in them when he was ten, visiting with Nesta. The thought of his aunt made his eyes burn.

He wasn’t able to save them. It was his fault. What was the point of having healing magic when it couldn’t save anyone?

“Ash Archeron. People are looking for you.”

A male had winnowed in front of him. His features were cloudy, like everyone else, but judging from the features, his dark skin and white hair, Ash would say that this was Tarquin. He had met the male a few times before. He was kind and decent.

“I told them to let me go, Tarquin.”

Walking instep with him, Tarquin said quietly, “Do you really think that your parents will just ‘let you go’? What about Dacia? And Bay? The Illyrian, he’s your best friend. He just lost the only mother he’s had, do you really think he would survive the loss of his best friend?”

He blinked back surprise, “Cauldron Tar, I’m not going to go  _kill_ myself. I wouldn’t do that to my family.”

Taquin stopped in front of him,”Then what  _are_ you doing?”

“I’m going to the Dawn Court.”

“You-  _The Dawn Court_? You’ll be lucky if you get out of that place alive.” The High Lord of the Dawn Court, his anger for Ash being more powerful than he, it makes for an uneasy alliance between them and his courts.

“I guess it’s a good thing his daughter is betrothed to me,” he said bitterly. He and Aurora didn’t get along. As a matter of fact, he was pretty sure she hated him. It was a feeling he wasn’t used to. Most girls liked him. But that was alright, the feeling was mutual.

Taquin sighed, “Ash, I need your help.” 

———

Bay had flown all day and all night to reach the Spring Court. He had run into Lucien along the way, telling him Ash was heading to the Dawn Court. The male’s mechanical eye narrowed when he didn’t say why Ash was heading there. It was Ash’s secret and the Suriel said him and Dacia for a reason. She would be the only person he would tell what the Suriel said so he just told Lucien to head north to the Dawn Court and warn the High Lords to keep an eye out for Ash. He was well known in the courts. He had made friends throughout each of them. Hopefully they could cut him off before he made it or at least change his mind.

The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he landed. Sitting in the rose garden, Adara  placed a flower crown on Fia’s curly red head and turned her warm brown eyes to him, her lips curled up into a smile, “Bay! What are you doing here? Did you find Ash?”

Turning around, Fia’s cunning russet eyes were narrowed in thought, “You found Ash didn’t you?”

That summed up the twins. One was warm and kind, Adara, and the other was cold and cunning, Fia. Fia was alot like Nesta, it made his heart hurt. He shoved the grief down and said, “Where’s Dacia?”

Shaking the flower crown from her curly red hair, Fia made her way to him. Her russet eyes were cool, her mouth in a small line, “You went after the Suriel, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

Red hair spilled over her shoulder as she tilted her head in thought, “I’m going to say that whatever you need my sister for, it’s important. Otherwise, you can’t take her away from Mother. She’s not doing well.”

“I wouldn’t take her with me if it wasn’t important, Fia. The Suriel told me that I needed Dacia with me.”

She was quiet for a minute, “She’s out back, in the vegetable garden.”

——–

“What could you possibly need- Azure. The last I heard, her memory is getting worse. You know what happened with Nesta and the baby. Why would you let me anywhere near your pregnant Lady?”

Looking hard at the young male, Tarquin could see the dark circles beneath Ash’s thick lashes. He hadn’t been sleeping. His fine features were more sunken, a cut ran under his eye, curving up his temple. He had been in many fights before he had come across him.

Running his fingers through his hair, Tarquin sighed, “I’m desperate, Ash. Azure is almost full term and she is becoming more and more afraid. With her memory loss, she forgets she’s pregnant, she forgets who I am, and her magic reacts to her fear. Fissures have crawled up the walls of the castle from her earthquakes.”

Struggle warred across the young Lord’s face. He wanted to help, but he was afraid to. There was something he could do. He didn’t want to but, “I will grant you passage to the next court if you help. Otherwise,” he hated himself for this, “I will tell your parents exactly where you are and what you are doing.”

Ash narrowed his eyes, “You wouldn’t.”

“As High Lord, it is my job to ensure safety among my people. If that means I have to betray your friendship to do just that, then I will.” Cauldron, he hated himself for using the young Lord’s friendship against him, but he loved Azure and his unborn child. If it meant manipulating his friend so that his Love and child were okay, then so be it.

Ash was quiet for a long time. Tarquin was starting to think that he had failed to get Ash’s help when he said, “I’ll help with her memory. I’m not going to help with the pregnancy or delivery. I can’t- I just  _can’t_.”

“Thank you, Ash.”

———-

Dacia spied Baylor making his way towards the garden. His face was set in a harsh line. And his ashy hair was messed over his eyes and glasses and dark circles framed beneath his lashes. Kissing the top of her mother’s head, Dacia walked over to Baylor.

“I need your help,” he said.

“Tell me.”

So he did.

With each word, her stomach tightened. Shaking her head, Dacia tried to get the thoughts out of her head. How could her brother be so stupid as to go to the Dawn Court? Even with the alliance, the High Lord wants Ash dead.

She whispered, “I can’t leave Mother. Look at her, Bay. She’s falling apart.”

A soft voice came from her mother. It was small and quiet, but edged with steel, “Go. Stop Ash. Bring my son home.”   

Turning back to Bay, Dacia sighed, “When do we leave?”

He placed a hand on her arm, “Winnow us to the night court. Feyre and Rhys need to know before Ash get’s into the territory. He’s most likely picking fights with people and the denziens of the Court of Nightmares….We need to tell them.”

Considering Feyre was three months pregnant, her aunt was very hormonal and dealing with her grief for Nesta. This was going to be interesting.

“Let’s go then.” She winnowed.


	7. Chapter 7

Dacia spied the blonde hair and Illyrian wings before she fully winnowed in. Shadows crept around their master, making him near blend into the wall he was leaning on. But she knew that lazy grin anywhere. Blake. Mor and Azriel’s eldest son. Her best friend. He and Adrien were a few years older than Bay. Blake was born right after she was, making them the same age. His youngest brother, Nate, he was rather fond of Bay.

Pushing off the wall, he sauntered over to them. He towered over her. He had a solid frame, Illyrian hunting blades strapped to his chest. The siphons on his hands shone in the moonlight. She could only see the two on his hands, but she knew he had more. He crossed his arms, “What can I do for you, Princess?”

Forcing herself to not smile at him, she said, “I need to see Rhysand and Feyre.”

Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, Blake sighed dramatically, “Rhysand and Feyre, Feyre and Rhysand, there’s a nickname in there somewhere,” he snapped his fingers, “Let’s call them Feysand. So much faster, don’t you agree, Princess?”

She shrugged him off, “I don’t have time for you to be an ass, Blake. Where are they?”

His lazy grin edged, “The Court of Nightmares.”

Running his hand through his hair, Bay sighed, “Let’s get going then.” The stress of finding Ash wore thin on Bay. Dacia knew that Bay had been in the Nightmare Court, just once, if she remembered correctly. 

“Oh yes, let’s,” Blake said cheerfully. His smile was light but it didn’t reach his eyes. As a Shadowsinger, it was more than likely that Blake knew what went down with Bay. It ended with Ash healing Bay’s broken arm, her brother yelling at Bay for losing his temper. Of course she didn’t know why he had a broken arm to begin with, and surprisingly, neither did Ash. Bay just told him to leave the matter alone. And he did.

She held up a hand “Who said you could come with?”

He arched a brow, “ _I_ did.”

If the situation was different, she’d laugh at Bay’s glaring as he argued, “Don’t you have the Blood Rite to prepare for?”

Blake’s cocky grin reappeared, “Don’t  _you_?”

Bay glowered at him, but kept quiet. 

Blake and Adrien were two years apart, Nate a year younger than Adrien. Making Nate the same age as Bay, but the three brothers were going into the Blood Rite together. They refused to be separated. Cassian had caved, letting the age slide, so they wouldn’t be apart. The brothers were a fighting unit, a  _lethal_ fighting unit at that, and it made the war camp Lords nervous.

Dacia knew that Blake, in his own way, was asking if Bay was ready. Of course he couldn’t ask nicely, the  _ass_.

“Wait,” Blake said.

Temper flaring, Dacia growled, “ _What_?!”

A glint shone in his brown eyes, the razor sharp smile replaced the cocky one, “You got to change.”

———–

Ash kept himself calm, not letting the Illyrian training he recieved take hold. He let her hold the blade to his throat. Fear was coming off her in waves, her blood pressure dangerously high, and any sudden movements would end up with her blade in his throat. The pregnant female growled,“Who are you.”

He calmly said, “My name is Ash Vanserra Archeron. You know who I am, Azure. You are friends with my mother, Elain.”

She wavered, “I- I know that name. Am  _I_ Azure?”

“Yes,” he said calmly, “You have short-term memory loss. I’m here to try to help you remember. Will you let me?”

After a few seconds of silence, she lowered the blade, “yes.”


	8. Chapter 8

If her mother saw her in this, she would freak. Ceredwin helped her into a light green gauzy column gown. A jeweled belt hung from her hips, accentuating her curves in all the right places. Dacia was a little bigger than most females, with her stripes on her thighs and breasts, but she didn’t care. Nuala had lightly curled her hair, letting it cascade down her back. She bore the colors of the spring court, even if it was Night Court fashion. She felt powerful in such a gown. Grown, beautiful.

Bay and Blake wore their black armor, Bay bore blue siphons, Blake bore red ones. THey were both too powerful to go without one, despite not yet being in the blood Rite

Blake’s blond hair was tied back in a braid, black leather twisted through the strands, making the fine features on his face more warrior like. Making him a storm made flesh.

He leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms, “The last person who looked at me like that, Princess, I got laid.”

She snorted, “In your dreams.”

A coy smlie played on his lips, “Oh, I count on it.”

Bay didn’t wear his usual glasses, he wore the lenses that Nesta had found made for him. Without his glasses, the sharp features on his face made his hazel-green eyes darker. His lashes were thick enough they casted shadows on his cheekbones and freckles. His clenched fists made what of his fingers showing, white. The only sign of discomfort on him

With a hand on both the boys’ arms, she winnowed.

With the boys behind her, Dacia rose her chin, her smile replaced by a cold indifference, her shoulders were square. They entered the Court of Nightmares.

———–

Tarquin felt hopeless. He held Azure’s hand, quietly telling her stories about how they met, where they fell in love, the accident. He even told her about going to the Dawn Court and begging it’s High Lord to help. He didn’t.

He watched Ash place his hands on the base of her skull. He squeezed her hand, “Don’t worry, Love. He knows what he’s doing.” He believed that, too. Despite being desperate, he would never had let Ash near her if he wasn’t certain that he could help.

A few minutes later, Ash gently released her, letting her head fall back into the pillow. The trademark Ash Archeron smirk ghosted his face. But his eyes held worry.

Azure blinked rapidly up at him, as if clearing from a fog, “Tarquin?”

He felt hot tears sting his eyes. Ash bowed his head, “I’ll give you two a minute, and Tarquin, I need to talk to you before I go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Tarquin found Ash leaning against the wall outside the Summer Palace, eating an apple. It would seem that he had a bit of his usual swagger back. Ash was good at healing people, but there were some things that even he couldn’t cure, and Tarquin knew that it bothered the young male.

“Ash,” Tarquin began, “What did you have to tell me?” The ghost of Ash’s smirk disappeared.

Turning to him, Ash’s face was unusually grave, the cut underneath his eye had healed, “ Azure has a weak heart, Tar. I can’t heal it,” he ran a hand through his hair, “She should be dead. But, she’s using what’s left of her strength to keep the baby alive.”

Sliding down the wall, Tarquin had his face in his hands, “That’s why her memory was so bad wasn’t it?”

Ash nodded, “She was using her healing reserve to keep your child alive. The stress of it put strain on her mental health. I’m afraid she won’t survive the birth of your daughter.”

Tears burned in his eyes as he blinked back up at Ash, “It’s a- I’m having a daughter? Is she healthy?”

Ash leaned down meeting his face, “She is one hundred percent healthy. I could sense nothing wrong. Ten fingers, ten toes, a strong heart.  _She’s perfect_.” He was having a little girl.

Clearing his throat, Tarquin said, “Well, a deal is a deal, I’ll winnow you to the Dawn Court.”

He took Ash’s arm and winnowed them to the Dawn Court

\-------

Adrien blatantly watched Maze lean into the wall, twirling a dagger, and talking to her friends. Her dark skin glowed in the light, her lashes casting shadows over the freckles on her face but the gloss on her lips made him want to taste them so badly, not to mention her scent drove him nuts, rain and lilac. Flicking her eyes to him for a split second, she tipped her head back and laughed at something one of her friends said.

Nate flicked his hazel eyes at him in alarm, “Don’t do Ade, she’ll eat you alive.”

Pushing himself off the wall he ran a hand through his already messy hair and grinned at him, “That’s the plan, Little Brother.”

“This is why I’m gay,” Nate murmured, shaking his head, his brother’s eyes resting on Bay.

Ignoring him, Adrien sauntered over to Maze and the girls. “Hello, ladies. May Maze and I have a moment,” his lips spread into a coy grin, “unless you prefer to join us.”

In seconds, Maze had him by the throat and shoved against the wall, hard enough that the wall hit his head, leaving him lightheaded.

“Apologize,” she said, mere inches away from his face. She was close enough he could see the amber slashes in her dark eyes.  Her fingers still around his throat, her knife was flesh against his upper thigh, “Unless you want your favorite part removed.”

He couldn’t help it, he grinned, “I thought that was your favorite part.”

She leaned in, kissing him square on the lips, She tasted like blackberries. Removing her blade she smiled, “In your dreams, Adrien.”

Turning on her heel, she put her blade in her boot and went down the dark corridor with the flock of her friends. Before she got out of sight, she turned at grinned at him before disappearing into the darkness.

He leaned his head back against the wall,  _Holy Shit_.


	10. Chapter 10

The Veritas showed them Ash kneeled before the High Lord of the Dawn Court. But beside him was a female of inky black hair, deeply tanned skin and depthless eyes. She was beautiful.

Leaning closer to the Veritas, Blake could make out her eyelashes as they cast shadows on her cheekbones. Her lips were full, painted a deep red and a golden medallion was between her groomed brows. He had to make his own mouth function as he whispered, “Dacia, who is  _that_?”

Pulling him back towards her, she whispered, “Aurora. The High Lord’s daughter.”

“Aurora,” he echoed.

“I thought you Shadowsingers knew everything,” she sighed, “yes,  _Aurora_ , Ash’s betrothed. Although I don’t see  _that_ particular union happening anytime soon.”

He grinned at her, “Lucky me, I can swoop in and save the girl.”

“No, you are  _not_. Besides, Aurora can save herself just fine. Cauldron, Blake, stop thinking with your dick.”    

Dacia shook her head, “I know that look, you can’t come. The Suriel said me and Bay. No horny blond Illyrians. We’re helping Ash,  _not_ helping you get laid.”

“Oh come on Cia. Ash is my family too.  _Please_?” He  _was_ worried about Ash. The kid was reckless and was one move away from ruining his life.

She gave him a flat stare, “You just want to meet Aurora.”

He gave her a winning grin, “No,  _Aurora_ wants to meet  _me_.” And he could get Ash see reason. One way or another, Ash was leaving with them, with his magic intact. Meeting Aurora was just a happy coincidence. 

———-

Bay leaned against the door-frame. He had circles under his eyes. The male was going to drop dead if he didn’t get sleep. Especially with the Blood Rite so soon. He needed a distraction. Lucky for him, Nate excelled at it.

Leaning against the opposite side of the door-frame, Nate towered over him. His shadows felt out the male. They whispered Bay’s worries to him. Between finding Ash, preparing for the Blood Rite and grieving, Bay was going to snap. Better have him snap now before he ends up killing someone.

He knew just how to do it, too. “Seeing anyone these days, Baylor?”

Crossing his arms, a tic worked in his reddening cheek, “Don’t call me that, it’s Bay.”

From across the room, he could see his Adrien, his shadows blending him into the pillar he leaned on. He was shaking his head slightly,  _Don’t do it, you moron._

Ignoring his brother, Nate drawled, “But I like saying Bay- _lor_. It’s  _nice_.”

Narrowing his eyes, Baylor’s siphon faintly glowed. Nate was getting under his skin, “Two can play at that game,  _Nathaniel_.”

He sighed, “Come on, don’t be like that, Baylor. Your name sounds so nice.”

Baylor sighed, looking down past the corridor, flexing his fingers. He was waiting for Dacia. “Don’t you got some other male you need to talk to? I’m  _busy_.”

“But I’m talking to  _you_ ,” he cocked his head, “Can you still see without your glasses? Or can you not see the perfection that is my face?”

Baylor’s ears reddened as he growled, “Leave me alone.”  _Almost there_.

“It’s a shame, really.” He continued, “You don’t know what you’re missing.  _Baylor_.”

Turning his hardened eyes to him, despite the death glare Bay was giving him, he grinned fully.

“I said, leave. Me. Alone, Nate.”

“ _No_.”

He narrowly ducked out of the way as Bay’s fist connected to the door-frame, splintering the stone.

Adrien was behind him, holding Bay’s arm back before he could try punching him again.

“Don’t do it, Bay. Nate was just trying to get you to blow off some steam. I can’t have you kicking Nate’s ass because then I’d have to kick  _your_ ass and I  _really_  don’t want Cassian pissed at me.”

Jerking his arm out of Adrien’s fist, Bay glowered at them. Turning on his heel, with a final glare at him, he stalked down the hall towards Blake’s rooms. His shadows told him that Bay did feel better, though. Good.

Adrien shook his head, punching his shoulder “You are an  _idiot_ , Nate.”

Nate grinned, “Said the love sick fool in love with a  _warlord’s_ daughter.”

———

Stalking down the corridor to Dacia and Blake, Bay’s face was on fire. Yes, he could see Nate’s stupid perfect face. Nate so easily could get under his skin and it drove him nuts. Shaking his head, he tried to get the mountain air scent of Nate out of his nose.

Reaching Blake’s door, he beat his fist against the intricate design on the wood. He growled, “Let me in.”

The door cracking open, Dacia glared at him. She had pulled a blanket around herself, making it look like she was naked. Fuck. he had forgot the plan. Stupid Nate and his stupid face making him forget the stupid plan. Stupid, stupid,  _stupid_.

Popping her head out past him, her eyes scanned the halls. Lucky for him and his life, no one was out here with him. Wrapping her fingers around the collar of his armor, she pulled him into the room.

With a finger to her lips she pulled the sleeves of her gown back up over her shoulders and dropped the blanket, letting it pool into a sea of black felt at her feet. Stepping out of it and into her shoes, Dacia flung back her hair, regaining her poser and placed her hands on his and Blake’s arm.

“Blake’s coming-” he began. But at the glare in her eyes, he wisely shut his mouth.

“Ash is at the Dawn Court  _right_ now.” Good. Maybe he can knock some sense into that empty head of his.

They winnowed.


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as Dacia had winnowed into the throne room, Aurora stood in front of her father, guarding him. In her hands were two twin  _Kilij_ swords.

With a jeweled top hugging her skin, a band of deeply tanned skin seperated a plethora of soft pinks and gold silk skirts hugging her hips and skirting the floor, the golden jewel in her navel, it all made her look harmless. The Lady of Dawn, a Healer. But the wicked looking curved swords expertly held in her hands, the cunning in her eyes, the camouflage of the Harmless Healer was cracked. A skilled warrior leaked through and she knew that Blake was sizing her up, and that Aurora was sizing  _him_ up.

Standing a head taller than Aurora, the High Lord calmly laid his hand on her shoulder. The flinch at his touch was near imperceptible, but Dacia still saw it, and if she saw it, Blake definitely saw it. The rumors of just how firm a grip the High Lord had on his court had shown in that touch. It didn’t take much connection to see just how firm that grip was used on his own daughter. 

According to the Dawn Court’s law, she was still his subject, his possession, his  _property_. He could treat her however he wished and it took everything to not kill him with one blow.

Next to her, Blake’s shadows twisted around his arms. She could hear the quiet growl in his throat. It was so quiet that only she and Ash, of course, could hear it. 

“Why do you enter here uninvited?” Dry amusement coated the High Lord’s heavy accent, “By law, you need a request to enter my court. Doing so without one would grant war.”

Turning to them, Ash growled, “I  _told_ you to not-”

It was Bay-  _Bay_ \- who snapped, “Shut  _up_ , Ash.”

Dacia leveled her gaze to the High Lord, ignoring the glare from Ash, “We mean no disrespect. We have been looking for my brother.”

The High lord sat back into his plush throne, “Ah yes. The young Archeron wishes to rid himself of his healing magic. I am all too happy to help relieve him of his gift, if he so wishes it.”

“I had gathered as much. Surely the High Lord of Dawn, the Lord of  _Healing_ , wouldn’t take such a Cauldron blessed gift from a youngling who is in grief, who is confused.”

A tic worked in the High Lord’s cheek but he smiled, a smile meant to indulge childish whims. He was after all, much older than she and he knew it. He was trying to make her feel small, insignificant. But she wasn’t. She was a High Lady, just as powerful as he, more so than he. And in his age, he forgot a basic rule, never underestimate a female who was protecting her family.

“Are you suggesting I am taking advantage of the young Lord?”

“Of course not,” she lied smoothly.

“And yet I do not believe you. You bring in a half breed  _Illyrian_ to my palace. This is an insult,” The High Lord sneered, “I should kill him on the spot.” Blake’s hand rested easily on the sword at his side. The High Lord leaned back into his throne. “Instead I will give you a chance to leave with your heads. After all, we’re to be family one day.”

A tic worked in Ash’s cheek but he kept quiet. No doubt dreading the union.

With his shadows curling around his arms, Blake’s hand casually rested on a blade at his side. Despite the dark grin on his face, his eyes were sizing up every guard and Aurora. His shadows no doubt whispering secrets to him. If this wasn’t defused, the throne room would become a bloodbath.

Dacia smiled, “What did you have in mind?”

“A  _bellum armis_ ,” he said. A battle of weapons. Lucky for Bay, who was about to drop from no sleep, Blake was with them. Blake who was the highest ranking Illyrian in the war camps. Blake who could wield any weapon. This was going to either end with someone dead or someone bleeding badly.

His crinkled eyes made the brown shine in the fae light, and his mouth slid into the trademark Cocky Blake grin. His eyes were on Aurora. He already knew the answer but he asked, “And who am I dueling?”

Inclining her head, Aurora said, “ _Me_.”   


	12. Chapter 12

They were given thirty minutes to prepare. He had been in his formal battle attire that he had worn in the Court of Nightmares. While it made him look good, it wasn’t as flexible as he liked.

Pulling it over his head, he let the uniform fall to the ground in a stiff pool of black, leaving his chest exposed. Pulling off his leather boots, he decided barefoot was best. The arena was made of sand and he was better at maneuvering through it without anything on his feet.

If his father or Cassian knew that he was leaving something so vital open he would be running drills for months. But he didn’t have a choice, if he kept the armor on, his movements would be slower and he couldn’t afford it, not when he sure a certain Aurora was very adept at wielding the Kilij swords. And Mother, he  _loved_ a challenge.

——–

The white and gold leathers clung to her skin, protecting the vital organs from attack. It was a gamble to wear this. It slowed her down, just a fraction, but the Illyrians’ were famed warriors of the Night Court, Blake the best of the latest generation. She needed armor and these leathers were just what would protect her.

Looking back through the mirror, Puella combed back her dark hair into a low ponytail with leather circlets sectioning the tail down to her lower back, revealing the sharpness of her cheekbones and her full lips.

Puella motioned to the golden paint atop the table, of course she didn’t actually ask, not when she didn’t have a tongue to do so. She was going to paint a  _bindi_ in place of the medallion she usually wore, the last piece of her mother she had left.

Lifting the brush to her forehead, Puella painted two dots and a golden drop, symbolizing the morning dew, between her brows. It made the kohl lining her eyes darken in contrast.

Kissing Puella’s cheek in thanks, she sheathed her Kilij swords on her back and headed to the training room where either she or Blake would bleed. With her father watching, she had a feeling it would be her.

———

Standing in front of her, Blakes hair had been pulled back into a bun, making his features more prominent, his ears were pointed as well. She didn’t know why she was surprised, his mother was High Fae.

The tattoos across his shoulders were of the Illyrian language. But over where his heart would be, were three stars. Proud to be a part of the Court of Nightmares? He didn’t seem like the type of fae who indulged in mindless slaughter. Interesting.

His shadows wrapped themselves around his arms and his wings were gone as well. Are they glamored to just not be seen or what? Aso interesting.

Planting his feet in the sand, he rolled his wrists, the Illyrian blades glinted in the fae light. She wasn’t sure if she was actually staring at him or if he was just an ass as he asked smugly, “Enjoying the view?”  _Ass_. He was definitely an ass.

Planting her own feet, she pulled her blades out of the sheathes in her back, resting the Kilij swords in front of her. Cocking her head, she asked, “What view?”

From atop the Dais, her father announced, “The Daughter of Dawn has challenged the Illyrian warrior Blake in a  _Bellum Armis_ for his insult against the Dawn Court,” a tic worked it’s way into Blake’s cheek at the supposed insult. Her father was an arrogant fool who would end up dead for his stupidity against supposed ‘lesser’ fae. He continued, “Let the battle begin.”

Running towards each other, her left sword aimed for his throat, her right for his legs. He had run, twisting off the ground, and slid between the two swords. Twisting back, he landed on his feet behind her, “See, now that’s just mean. I make myself all pretty for the Daughter of the Dawn Court and she isn’t even impressed. Shame.” Despite herself, she couldn’t stop herself from snorting at his false hurt.

Twisting back around, she bent backwards as his blade went for her throat. Using his arm as leverage, she slid under him, hooking her foot against his ankle, knocking him to his back. Rolling to stand, she clicked her tongue, “You are by far the worst Illyrian I have  _ever_ heard of. I expected more from the infamous Illyrian warrior, Blake.”

Shaking his unraveling hair out of his face, he rolled backwards into a crouch. He grinned, “But you  _have_ heard of me. I’m flattered, Sweetheart.”

Giving him a flat stare she whirled, her sword narrowly missing him as he dodged left. Before she could counter-move, she felt his own foot wrap around her ankle. As she fell to the sand, beneath him, she pulled, knocking him off balance on top of her.

As he fell on top of her, his blade had nicked her throat shallowly, the wetness of her blood started to trickle down her neck, the wound was already healing itself but she was stupid. Stupid, stupid,  _stupid_ for leaving her throat unprotected. 

She had started to glare at him, for drawing the first blood when his nostrils flared and his became wide hazel saucers. Scrambling backwards, dropping one of the blades, he winnowed to the top of the dais, next to Dacia. What the Hell?

———-

She had seen Blake nick Aurora’s neck, giving him the win. Next to her, his face had paled as he stated, “She bled first, High Lord. As rule of the  _Bellum Armis_ , I won. Let us leave with Ash Archeron and we can call it a day.” He said it so matter of fact. No gloating or smirking. Just a simple statement.

The High Lord’s brows knit in anger at losing against them on his home turf. Giving his daughter a look of veiled disgust, as she slowly stood, wiping the blood from her now closed wound. Flicking his dark eyes back to Blake, he demanded, “Why didn’t you slit her throat? Finish the job you started.”

Aurora’s face paled, “ _Father_ -”

“Finish the job, male.” This male would have Blake kill his own daughter in cold blood? Just because she lost the duel?

His fingers curled around his blade and he stared down the high lord, “The rules of the  _Bellum Armis_ , it states that the one who bleeds first loses. She bled first. I will not murder her just so you can teach her a lesson in swordsmanship.”

Dacia prayed that Blake didn’t try to strike the High Lord. An act like that would instigate war and she really didn’t want to have to tell her parents they were now at war, merely twenty-one years after the last one.

“ _Finish the job_.”

———–

Each of them stilled at her father’s order. She had failed in the  _Bellum Armis_. In doing so, it shamed the Dawn Court, making it’s High Lord look weak. She knew what was coming. She closed her eyes as Probus grabbed her arm, bringing his blade to her neck.

“Since you don’t have the courage, my guard will do it.”

“ _NO_.”

Opening her eyes, Dacia held Blake back, as only someone of her strength could. He pointed at her father, a warning, a damning. Her father, the  _fool_ , had the nerve to just raise his brows. Blake spat, “What kind of father  _are you_ -”

Blake had fell into the elaborate trap her father had set for Dacia. A satisfied smirk rested on her father’s lips. With a nod to Probus, the male released her, dropping her into the sand. Turning her head back, she gave the guard a glare and a promise. She would not forget the act. At least  _he_ was smart enough to pale at her silent threat.

Turning back to Dacia and Blake, her father said, “Do not think me a fool again High Lady Dacia. I can play the game better than you.”  


	13. Chapter 13

Dacia and Blake had gone to the  _Bellum Armis_ , leaving him here to get Ash to come home. The duel would be for nothing if Ash didn’t come back willingly. If they had forced him home, the court could say they attacked someone on their soil, permitting death in order to preserve peace.

Bay was tired. Very, very tired and angry. He was angry that Nesta had died, he was angry that his adopted brother had died, he was angry that he had to stop his training for the Blood rite. He was angry he had to hault his  _own_ grieving to go all over Prythian to find Ash’s ass.

“I told you to let me go, Bay.” His voice was empty. Flat. he had given up. Just like that. That pushed Bay over the edge. He could fight for his friends but what was the point if they didn’t fight for themselves? Ash shook his head, “Why couldn’t you just let me go?”

Red sparked across his vision as he spread his arms, “On what? A suicide mission? Cauldron Ash, you know that the Prick Lord just wants a reason to carve your ass up. Did you think it would be so  _easy_ as to just hand over your magic and not die from it?”

Ash turned away from him, shaking his head, “You don’t know that-”

This Ash, he didn’t know him. Where was the cocky prick who stole apples from the kitchens during the Harvest season? Where was the friend who snuck to the Illyrian war camps to train with him and Nate? This Ash, he wasn’t the brother he grew to love.

“I didn’t realize my best friend was a coward,” Bay said quietly.

Ash turned around slowly, “ _What_ did you just call me?”

“I called you a  _coward_ ,” He said. Good. He was getting a reaction. “Maybe you aren’t my best friend. The Ash Archeron  _I_  knew hunted me down, forcing his healing on me, without any regard for his own safety.  _That_ Ash gave me a home with his aunt and uncle.” He shook his head, “ _This_ Ash, he’s a coward and he’s selfish, giving away his cauldron blessed gifts and running away from his problems instead of facing them.”

It was near imperceptible but Ash murmured, “I’m not the only one who does that.”

Color drained from his face as he said, “What is  _that_ supposed to mean?”

Ash’s flat glare told him that he  _knew_ , but instead he said, “I am  _not_ a coward.”

He pushed him, knocking him back a few steps,  “Prove it.”  _Do something Ash. Hit me, yell, scream. Just stop with the numbness. Fight back._

He was too slow to dodge Ash’s fist connecting with his nose, hard enough that he could taste blood in the back of his throat. Damn it. He was going to need to get a decent night’s sleep before he even stepped foot into the Blood Rite. His lack of sleep would get him killed, probably by Nate.

Spitting out blood, Bay grinned at Ash, “Good. Fight me. Show some kind of emotion, you prick. Give me my best friend back.”

————-

He could hear the taunt in Bay’s voice. He was doing what he did best, getting his friends to fight back when they’ve given up. Bay had spent the past few years being the backbone of their friendship, cleaning up his messes. 

He was trying to bring him back to the Ash he grew up with. And Cauldron, it was working. The numb feeling had burned away in his veins. For the first time in weeks, he felt that familiar fire spark in his blood. Anger replacing the numbing grief. His brother had brought him back to who he was supposed to be. The Fire-Wielding Heir of the Autumn Court.

Twisting, he punched the column behind him. Burning stone hit his nose and he punched it again, cracks splintering under his flaming fist. He hit it again, getting the anger out of him, leaving peace, however temporary it was. If he was lucky he’d get banned from the Court and not have to marry Aurora. But most likely, the Mother wasn’t on his side. He nearly snorted.

“I tried to save them, Bay.” he didn’t realize throat was so raw. “I thought the Mother gave me this power for a  _reason_. I tried everything I could. I tried using my magic, my life-force. I even went to the fucking Suriel for Cauldron’s sake. And that robed fucker wouldn’t give me a straight answer. ‘ Darkest skin and lightest hair’ and ‘falling stars’. what the fuck is  _that_ supposed to mean? How do  _stars_ heal someone?”

Sliding to the ground, Ash dropped his head into his hands. “I thought I could twist nature and save them by some miracle. I am an  _idiot_.”

————–.

He had almost nodded off Looking at the faint scorch marks on the marble, Bay sat next to his friend, “Yeah, you  _are_ an idiot. But you can’t save everyone, Ash.” Running a hand under his nose, he winced at the sharp pain in his skull. The fucker broke his nose. “Leave the miracles to the Mother. Not even you are arrogant enough to outdo her.”

Laughing harshly, Ash looked directly at him, at his nose and winced. He must’ve sensed that he broke it. “And how am I supposed to face  _Cassian_?”

Everything clicked into place. Bay said,“Cassian doesn’t blame you, Ash. If anything, he’s  _worried_ about you. But with the baby and his duties, he couldn’t go after you. So I did.” 

Taking his nose into his fingers, the sharp tang of magic hit him with a force as the cartlage in his nose began to fix itself, repairing the fix.

Leaning back agianst the coloumn again, it was a few minutes before Ash said, “Sorry I fucked up your training for the Blood Rite.”

He still had a few weeks left to get some decent sleep and to train harder than before in order to make up for the weeks he had missed. “Yeah well,” he said lightly, “I got Nate to shield me if I get attacked or maybe Nate will be the one to finally kill me and in turn Cassian can kill his cocky ass. It’s all good.”

Snorting, Ash asked, “Nate, huh?”

Dacia pulled out a seething Blake from the training room before he could respond. Blake wasn’t bleeding but he was freaking out. Blake towered nearly eight inches taller than Dacia, matching Ash in height. If she didn’t have her strength, no one could hold back a pissed Blake. What the hell just happened?

Shaking the hair out of her face, fury shone in Dacia’s eyes. Bay knew her well enough that more than anything she wanted to let Blake go and let him wreak havoc on the High Lord of the Dawn Court. Hell, he’d enjoy it too. Especially after seeing Lady Aurora flinch at her father’s touch. Her glare met Ash’s face and for once, Bay bet Ash was glad he couldn’t see the death glare facing him. She said, “You are coming home?” It wasn’t a question, just phrased like one, bending the rules of the Dawn Court into her favor.

Swallowing, Ash said, “Yeah.” At least he wasn’t dumb enough to not look unnerved at Dacia’s tone.

Her glare fracturing, just a bit, relief shone through. She breathed, “ _Good_.”

His hand on Ash’s shoulder, and Dacia’s on his, she winnowed them back to the Spring Court.


	14. Chapter 14

His lungs burned with each breath. But he didn’t stop running. One foot in front of the other, for the past five hours, Bay ran and crawled and flew. With the rain, almost every inch of him was covered in mud.

After completing the drills for the day, he spent as much time as he could completing the drills he missed. He had to be apart of the Blood Rite. He had trained too long and too hard for it to not be an option.

“Baylor,” Nate said, running in step with him, his black hair pulled up behind him, revealing delicately pointed ears. Heat rushed to his own ears, “take a break, you’re going to drop if you don’t.”

Picking up the pace, Bay ignored him. He blocked out the cry of protect in his lungs as he near slipped in the mud. Regaining composure, he continued running.

Catching up to him, Nate sighed, “Come  _on_. Twenty minutes. You almost landed on your face, Baylor.”

“Can’t,” Bay breathed, “Got to make up the time. And it’s  _Bay_.”

“You’ve been doing this for the past six days, Baylor,” he said, ignoring Bay’s protest. Sure, making up the time is important but it won’t matter if you drop dead from exhaustion.”

Slowing to a stop, Bay glared at Nate, “Fine. You have a point.  _Nathaniel_.”

A smile spread across Nate’s face, his eyes lighting up. Slinging an arm over his shoulder, Nate said, “Good, now I can eat. Can’t enjoy our sub-par food when you’re out here all by your lonesome running yourself into the mud.”

Too tired to shrug him off, Bay gave him a wary glare, “So sorry, Nate. I wouldn’t want my drills to interfere with your love of  _food_.” Considering Nate was all lean, Bay didn’t know where the Illyrian kept it all.

“Apology accepted,” Nate said. “Now, let’s get some food. I hear the kitchen has fresh apples.”

* * *

With Adrien finally away from Maze, Blake cornered him in the barracks. His brother stood three inches shorter than him, but made up for his height with his speed. Sitting on the bottom bunk, Blake’s fingers gripped sides of his pillow. Looking up at his brother, who was leaning against the other bunks, “You can’t tell  _anyone_ , Ade.”

Crossing his arms, Adrien said, “And who am I going to tell?”

“Maze.”

He paused, “She wouldn’t tell anyone, Blake. Cauldron, she’s the best secret keeper that I know. Well,” he rubbed his neck, “Next to us and Nate.”

He groaned. “You already told her didn’t you?”

“I-”

Blake threw his pillow at Adrien, hitting him in the face, “You are a hopeless Shadowsinger. Can’t even keep secrets from your girlfriend.”

“You try keeping secrets from Maze. I enjoy having certain parts, thank you. Besides,” he threw the pillow back at him, disdain flashed in his eyes, “she’s good at keeping secrets.”

* * *

Before sauntering over to them, Maze studied Bay and Nate eating together. Tipping back his head in laughter at something Bay said, his rounded ears were red. Was it from the cold or from Nate? They all knew Nate was gay, he didn’t even try to hide it. He was very brave for that. But Bay…she was nine hundred percent he was gay, he just wasn’t out about it. She was also certain he harbored feelings for Nate, the former definitely did. Maybe she could get Bay to admit to his feelings. She’d talk to him later. Tell him about Amare. A phantom pain shot through her ribs at the thought of the white haired, grey eyed Winter Court female.

Shaking the thought from her head, she sauntered over to Bay and Nate’s table. Pulling up a chair, she straddled the back and took the green apple off of Nate’s tray.“You boys look cozy.”

Choking on his soup, bay said, “ _What_?”

Peeling the apple, she grinned at him, his ears getting redder and redder. “All I mean is,” she shrugged innocently, “I’m glad Nate got you to eat. Strong bones and all that for the Blood RIte. Wouldn’t want Nate to come in and save you from dropping dead from lack of food and exhaustion.” Bay’s eyes slid briefly to Nate and back to his soup, which he suddenly found very interesting.

Nate glared at her, “Is there a reason you are here, Maze,” Plucking the apple from her hand, “Besides stealing my  _food_?”

She leaned towards them, resting on her elbows,  “Looking for Adrien, have you seen him?”

Biting into the apple, Nate rose his brows, “he’s talking with Blake in the barracks.” Probably about Aurora then.

Cleaning the blade, she slid it into her boot, “Thanks, boys.” She grinned at Bay, sliding her eyes to Nate, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“There isn’t anything you wouldn’t do.”

Standing, she said, “I  _know_.”

* * *

The rain matted her hair to her skin. Hugging her arms from shivering, Maze made her way through the male barracks. The tall buildings blocked out the sunlight, leaving the shadows that much colder in the rain.

“Mazekynn Batalis,” a voice mused

Turning around, she said, “ _What_?”

Crossing his arms, the male grinned at her. “I hear you’re going into the Blood Rite next week.”

She rose her chin, “Afraid I’ll kick your ass? Don’t worry. You aren’t worth the calories, Malyus.”

Stepping up to her, a glint shone in Malyus’s eyes, “Do you really think we’d just  _let_ you enter it? It’s for males,” his eyes traveled up and down her, “Not disowned big-mouthed Illyrian females who don’t know their place.”

Her fingered curled into a fist. “I’m going to give you one chance to leave before I  _make_ you,”

“And what would  _Father_ say to such behavior?”

In seconds she had the blade pulled from her boot and Malus shoved against the side of one of the barracks, “He doesn’t get to tell me what to do anymore.”

From behind, a rope pulled around her throat, cutting off the airway. Turning around, she had her blade in the wings of the male, Aaron, making him scream in pain. Malyus pulled her into a bear hug, his hand over her mouth. Sliding down, her elbow connected with his crotch, making him keel over. Spinning around her knee connected to his nose, breaking it.

Their screams echoing off the barracks, males littered out of them, including Adrein and Blake. And Cassian. 

“What the hell is going on,” Cassian snapped.

* * *

A black haired Illyrian was folded into himself moaning and the red haired male was clutching his wing. It didn’t take long for him to asses what had happened. Pulling the male with the shredded wing off the gound, “Name?”

The kid winced, “Aaron, sir.”

“You just bought your way a one way ticket to being banned from the Blood Rite, Aaron.” His eyes slid to Malyus, “And you, too. I have a zero tolerance against attacking females in this camp, in any camp. Although,” he looked at Maze, her blade still in her hand, “it looks like you failed in your mission, seeing as how she handed your asses to you in a matter of a few maneuvers.”

“Sir-”

Cassian crossed his arms, “ _What_?”

“I’ve been training for the Blood Rite for months.”

“You should have thought of that  _before_ attacking a fellow Illyrian. Both of you see a healer and get out of my sight. Expect more drills.” Turning to the rest, “The rest of you, back to what you were doing.” Looking at Adrien, Blake and Maze, “ _Except_ for you three.”

* * *

Shaking her head, she watched the two losers hobble out of sight. Pathetic. Taken down by a girl, so easily, what a shame.

Turning to her, Cassian said, “And what are you doing out here? Isn’t it dinner time?” His eyes slid to Adrien, “Barracks are off limit to the opposite sex, Maze. You both know this.” A rule that had been around since  _he_ was in the camps, she figured. Didn’t stop her or Adrien for that matter. Sometimes he’d sneak into hers, seeing as how she was one of the only females there. They’d spent some nights just talking, others ended with her sleeping in his arms, for once feeling safe.

Blake coughed back a laugh behind Adrien. Glaring at his brother, he said to Cassian, “We weren’t doing anything Cassian. Er,  _sir_.” She almost shook her head, he was covering for her. He didn’t even know she was headed to his barrack.

The Commander crossed his arms, completely unbelieved,  “And what  _exactly_ were you doing?”

Adrein winced, “Um-”

Sighing, he turned to her, exhaustion plain on his face. “What were  _you_ doing?”

“I just wanted to check on them, make sure they were okay,” she fought her grin, “Sir.” Blake had been in bad shape for the past few days, worried about his mate. With her father who it was, she also worried about Aurora, despite not knowing her.

Sighing, Cassian said, “Go get cleaned up, Maze. You two, back to the barracks before I have all three of you join Baylor in extra drills. You’re lucky I’m taking care of an infant right now. Otherwise, I’d have plenty of time to  _question_ you.”

Tunning on her heel, Maze headed to the healer. Looking over her shoulder, she waved at Cassian, Adrien and Blake, “Later Boys.” She could have sworn she heard Adrien snort. This time she didn’t hide her smile.


	15. Chapter 15

_Her father’s face was contorted in fury as he stared down at her. His eyes, her eyes really, were dark mirthless abysses, glinting with disapproval. She’d had nightmares about those eyes. She had even avoided looking in the mirror for fear that he was looking back at her._

_“You failed, Aurora. He was right there.” He started pacing. “That Illyrian was_ right there _. If you just_ killed  _him, we’d have that Autumn Court Lord! Why did you fail?”_

 _She forced herself to not shrink back at his stare. She kept her chin raised, eyes forced ahead. “He’s better trained, Father. Top of his class.”_ Wrong _. She saw his side wide open. It just took the right hit to take him down and she would have won the Bellum Armis. But by winning, it would have permitted their deaths. And that was unacceptable._

 _He stopped in front of her, “You’re_ lying _.”_

_She pursed her lips but didn’t refute his claim. She knew what was coming and closed her eyes at the raised hand._

* * *

Blake shot up in his bunk, drenched in sweat. It took a solid minute to calm the rush of blood in his veins, to make sure that he was in fact awake. His shadows reached out around him for his brothers at reflex. Adrien wasn’t there, not surprising, but Nate was.

Careful to not wake the others, he shook Nate awake. “ _What_ -”

With a finger to his lips, he motioned for him to follow.

* * *

Maze slept in the crook of his arm. She was small, nearly nine inches shorter than him. Sometimes he forgot that about her. She was brazen and wild and he loved that about her. But she still had nightmares. Before the incident with her father, he didn’t think about why she had such bad nightmares. But now, he slipped out of his barracks and stayed with her until she fell asleep before winnowing back to his own bed each night.

Stilling, he felt the presence of two other shadowsingers. Blake and Nate. Carefully, Adrien rested Maze’s head on the pillow. Avoiding her wings, he wrapped darkness around himself and winnowed outside.

* * *

Rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand, Nate sighed, “Are you going to tell me what this is about? The Blood Rite is in two days, Blake. I need sleep.” He looked up, “Blake?”

His brother’s face was pale in the moonlight, but his eyes, they shone. He sensed anger and worry coming off of Blake but he couldn’t figure out the source of the pain. Running his hand through his hair, it was Adrien who said, “It’s Aurora, isn’t it?”

He furrowed his brows, “The High Lord of the Dawn Court’s daughter? That Aurora?” his brothers’ shadows seemed to have a conversation of their own, leaving him out of the important information. Typical. “One of you dimwits need to tell me what’s going on or I’m going back to bed.”

“I had a dream-” Blake began.

“You had a sex dream?” Nate rolled his eyes upward, “Why am I not surprised.”

“No, you idiot,” Blake glared, “I need to check on her, make sure she’s okay. With my own two eyes.” He paused, “Will you guys cover me?”  
“Were you dropped on your head as an infant, Blake? If you step foot-.”

“She’s his mate,” Adrien said quietly.

Well, that explained a lot. But still he said, “Are you  _sure_?”

He nodded.

“Oh, of  _course_ ,  _Ade_ knew. But you kept this a secret from  _me_? The hell, Blake?” He sighed, “Go on. Go check on her. Just..don’t touch her, stay back from her. Keep her scent off of you and we’ll cover your ass for as long as we can. But Blake, Father will be expecting this. Tread  _carefully_.”

Relief washed across Blake’s face, “Thank you, Nate.” His eyes flicked to Adrien, “You too, Ade.”

“Yeah well, you can make it up to me later.” He shook his head, “Always cleaning up after you two. Cauldron help you if Father found out half the shit you did.”

Grinning at him, Blake winnowed.

* * *

Pulling her dark hair over the purple splash on her shoulder, Aurora made her way to her quarters. She could finally be alone to figure out how she ended up in the mess she was in. Marriage alliances and spying. She was heir to the mantle as High Lady,  _not_ her father’s personal Autumn Court spy. The next time she saw Ash, she was going to wring his  _neck_. Even if she had to be on tiptoes to do so.

Her rooms weren’t vacant. She knew this before even stepping foot in them. It could be Puella, she supposed. But it was a bit late for her to be in her rooms. Looking over her shoulder, seeing the coast was clear, Aurora unsheathed one of her swords.

Blake leaned against the wall, arms folded across his bare chest. Didn’t he own a shirt? Tendrils of shadows crept over her walls, roiling over the smooth marble. A smile was fixed on his face, but at the center of it, she could sense the falseness of it. It was too wide, too bright. He wasn’t happy.

“ _What the hell are you doing here_?” She hissed.

“Just wanted to check on you, Sweetheart.”

She closed her doors. Cauldron help her if word got back to her father that  _he_ was here. “As you can see, I’m fine. Now go back to wherever the Hell you came from.”

He seemed to want to step forward, but thought better of it, staying by the open window, it’s cooling breeze raising bumps on her arms. She blocked out the scent of morning dew coming from him. “ _If you were fine_ , you wouldn’t be trying to hide your bruises.” He motioned to her collarbone. She almost checked to make sure her hair still covered the fading purple splash of skin. But it would just confirm his allegation. “ _If you were_   _fine_ , you wouldn’t have bruises to begin with.”

She narrowed her eyes, “Training exercise.”

“You’re lying.” His gaze slid back up to her eyes, hard and unyielding. “Your father did that, didn’t he?”

The blood drained from her face, “If you don’t leave right now, I will scream.”

His mouth tightened, “ I could help you. Take you to the Night Court. Get Rhys involved.” That was the last thing she needed. The Lord of Nightmares getting involved in her personal business.

She narrowed her eyes, “Leave or I scream. Last chance.”

“Okay. I’ll leave.” He conceded. He didn’t seem happy about it.  “But, I’ll be back. I wouldn’t want to deprive you the opportunity to miss out on a good time.” His smile didn’t reach his eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was happy with him coming back, or just  _annoyed_.

With a final once over, darkness wrapped around him. With a flash of a grin, he winnowed away.

What the hell was  _that_?

* * *

Shadows curled around him, their tendrils a living breathing thing. They whispered to him the secrets of each of the Illyrains of the camp. The next fight, the greatest warrior, the next lay. Azriel didn’t care. It was when his shadows had told him that Blake left the camp, forfeiting himself from the Blood Rite, that was what he cared about. His son had worked too hard to be removed from the Illyrian’s coming of age.

Materializing in front of him, a weight appeared to be taken off of his son’s shoulders.  But still, anger and worry rolled off of him. Spying him, Blake’s eyes, his eyes, went wide as saucers. His own shadows swirled around him, wanting to hide. It made him want to smile despite being irritated.

“Father-”

“Why?”  _Why did you blow your shot at the Blood Rite? Why did you disobey orders? Why did you brother’s into helping cover for you? Why? Why? Why?_

“I didn’t have a choice.”

“Everyone has a choice, Blake.” 

 _Untrue_ , his shadows whispered.

He crossed his arms, “Not  _everyone_.” His son’s shadows shivered around him, his anger darkening them, near pulling him from sight.

“Rhys is doing everything he can for Aurora. Not only did you put yourself in danger, you put her in danger. If you had been caught, she would have been punished for  _your_ mistake. Did you think about  _that_?”

“ _She’s my_ -” He snapped his mouth shut. “I’m sorry, sir.”

So many things clicked into place at once. The protectiveness, the worry, the anger. The breaking of his promise to stay away from her.  _Just like Rhys_. “She’s your mate,” he finished for him quietly. Blake’s nod was the only confirmation he needed. “I won’t tell Rhys that you left the camp. Neither will Cassian. The Blood Rite is in a day and a half. If you step out of line, _if you leave before hand_ -”

“I won’t. I promise I won’t.” 

“Good.”


	16. Blood of Passage (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blood RIte has begun for the Next Generation and they face many trials during their attempt to make it out alive.

The bitter cold rose the skin on his arms, its cruel wind blowing his hair into his face and numbing his rounded ears. But still, Bay stood, feet apart, hands clasped behind his back, eyes forward.

_This is it, this is it._

Years of preparation for this one week. The one week of his life where he would go into that mountain and fight his way out, become a true warrior and earn his wings. This week, he was going to become a full-fleged Illyrian who had won his stripes without anyone’s help. He was going to squash the rumors of him only getting this far because of his status as Cassian’s ward. He deserved this. He  _earned_ this. It was his turn.

“My name is Cassian. I am not only the King of Hybern but I  will most likely be your commander in the Night Court aerial armies. Should you survive the Blood Rite, that is.” Bay kept his face forward, alert. “Your magic is banned. No siphons. Wings bound. You will enter that mountain with nothing besides the clothes on your back. You will be tested, physically, emotionally, mentally. Only if you are the best of the best will you make it out.” He stopped in front of him, his face hard and unyielding. “Are we clear?”

He kept his eyes forward. In unison, the males and Maze, the first female to brave the Blood Rite, voiced, “Sir, yes, sir!”

He continued to pace, “It is my job to train up the best and brightest of your generation. Both male and female alike will show the world what it means to be an Illyrian. We fight the wars, we protect the people, we die for our people. We are the greatest threat against adversary. Lay nlt only our lives but our wings down in battle if need be.”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“Make our court proud!” he stopped in front of them. “Dismissed.”

* * *

Her fingers dug into Adrien’s tunic, her body betrayed her fear. He can do this, she can do this. They were two of the greatest warriors at this camp but still her body betrayed her and trembled, memorizing each curve of his chest, his lips. The greens and browns in his hazel eyes. Him. Just him.

“I’ll find you,” he promised, his calloused thumb brushing her cheek. “I’ll make my way to you even if I have to kill every last person under that mountain. I will always find you, Mazekynn.” He said her name like a prayer. 

Leaning up, she kissed him on his lips, savoring the scent of mountains and embers, ingraining it to memory. “Stay  _alive_ , Adrien. That’s all I ask.”

He grinned at her, “You almost sound worried, Maze. Should I be insulted?”

“I’ve put too much work into you,” She patted his cheek,” I don’t want to start all over on someone who isn’t as pretty as you.”  _Mine_. She wiped it away. “You fight your way to the center and I’ll find you. And we fight our way out.  _Together_.”

“I love you,” He said softly into her hair, his arms solidly around her. 

 _I love you, too_. “I know.”

* * *

The binds didn’t hurt. Not really. But they did feel unnatural, constricting. Bay had gotten used to the wind against his wings. Not they just felt suffocating. Stupid large ass wings needing to be bound. In seven days, he will be ecstatic to have the binds removed so he can stretch them, fly. He didn’t like being tethered to the earth.

“Are you ready?” Nate asked. The Shadowsinger’s slender fingers thrummed his sides as his wings were being bound, fighting the urge to rip out the male’s throat for touching them, binding them. “I’ll be relatively close to you. I’ll find you and we’ll fight our way through it.” A heartbeat of silence. He grinned, “After all, I need the infamous Baylor to protect me against my many adoring enemies.”

 _Come out and see_. That was what Maze had told him the night before. If a warlord’s daughter could be so open about who she was, who she loved, couldn’t he find his own happiness? To crawl and fight for it?

“Nate,” He began, fighting the through the rising panic in his veins. Ten seconds of incredible courage was all he needed to get the words out of his mouth. Once they were out, that was all it took. “I want to talk to you about something.” The words tumbled out before he could drown them again. “About me.”

“Not now,” He shook his head. “Tell me after we survive this.”

His heart was pounding so hard, as if it were to just jump right out of his chest. He nodded, “Of course. You don’t need to be distracted. Forget I said anything.”

As he turned away, Nate grabbed his hand, forcing him to look, “When we survive this, and we  _will_ , we’ll have that talk, Bay.”

He looked down at their hands still together, warmth radiating through him. Looking back up, he met Nate’s eyes, “I look forward to it.”

* * *

Blake paced in front of his mother, in front of the desk and the paper and the secret he carried. Write it , don’t write it, write it, don’t write it. Fuck it.

Pulling the quill out of the well, Blake began to write his letter:

 

_Dear Aurora,_

_I know you probably hate me, considering I am from a court your father despises. And I know you’ll probably get one sentence into this and burn the letter. Or maybe this letter won’t get to you, but I’m hoping that my mother does get this to you and that you do read this. So here I go._

_I am entering the Illyrian rite of passage known as the Blood Rite. It’s where I go seven days beneath the mountain with no weapons or magic and I fight my way out. There’s a slim chance I might die, very slim. Almost nonexistent. Yes, I am that good. (But you knew this too, didn’t you? Just like you knew my side was open that day. Oh yes, I know you knew.) But still, I wanted to tell you this, just in case I did die._

_Aurora, you are my mate. I promise you, I am not lying. I realized this during the Bellum Armis when I cut your throat. I heard the snap and I panicked. And when I thought your father was going to kill you, I almost killed him. And when I appeared in your rooms, I swear to you, I am not a stalker. I had a feeling deep within myself that I needed to make sure you were okay. And when I saw that bruise on your shoulder, it took everything to not slaughter your father._

_The reason I’m telling you this… I don’t like secrets. Ironic really, considering I’m a shadowsinger. But I am also a fighter and if I was one, then my mate, who was my equal in every way, she would be one too. You are a fighter, Aurora. And if I died and couldn’t help you, I just wanted you to know that you need to keep fighting no matter what. If you need a place to go, my mother, the Morrigan, she will shield you if you need it._

_Please, keep fighting._

_-Blake_

 

Sighing, Blake let the hot golden wax, for the dawn court, the color of the bindi on her forehead, seal the letter. Handing it to his mother, “Thank you.”

She brushed back his bangs, kissing his forehead, “I’m proud of you, Sunshine.”

“ Mother,” he groaned. “Do you really need to call me that?”

“Yes I do.”

He sighed. 

With his wings bound, his siphons gone, Blake joined his brothers and the others. It was time for the Blood Rite.


	17. Blood of Passage (Part Two)

Shelter, water, food, fire. And weapons. She needed these things to stay alive. First one was relatively already taken care of. Being beneath a mountain prevented the elements from reaching her so she didn’t have to worry about getting wet and sick. Maybe a little though, with the dampness from the condensation. But, with no sunshine, the inside of this mountain made it cold. Frigid down to her bones even.

With her back flesh against the rock, she peered over the corner. There were six males. They had already acquired weapons. Some were stalagmites sharpened to a point. Most likely from the dampness or they were sharpened against the wall or rocks. With their formations, she could detect that these males were allies. Number one rule of the warcamps: Find the biggest baddest male and become best friends. Too bad that didn’t work for her. She was the smallest female there. She grinned. She didn’t need to ally herself with the baddest male because she was already the baddest female.

Straightening her spine, she stepped around the corner, “Hello Boys.”

The males stiffened, their growls reverberated around them, echoing off the walls. The broadest male there, was taller than Blake even. He stepped forward. Ah. He must be the leader. “No weapon, Mazakynn? I thought you were smarter than this.” The males started to close in around her. “Perhaps not, though. You let yourself get surrounded.”

She smiled, “Oh Ely. I don’t need a weapon.” She rolled her shoulders, taking in each of the males and how they moved together. “Not when I was born one.”

The male’s smug smile disappeared, “ _Kill her_.”

* * *

The outskirts of the mountain had few warriors in it. It was when he got closer to the center, to the thick of it, Bay knew was where the most danger was. With a stalagmite, sharpened to a point, in hand, Bay stood still, listening to a dripping sound. Where there was dripping there was water. Where there was water there was a chance to stay hydrated. But also, where there was water, there were warriors. He gripped his weapon tighter.

Following the incline through the mountain, Bay stuck to the side of the wall, just out of sight. He was only going to get so far without hydration.

Rounding a corner, he crashed into a male. Pushed against the wall, disarming him, Bay held his weapon to his throat. “ _Baylor_?”

He lowered his weapon, just a fraction, “ _Zev_?”

Zevakyn kept his hands up, his eyes darting between the stalagmite in Bay’s hand, the one at his throat and Bay’s face,  “Please don’t kill me?”

He considered it. He barely knew the male. He knew that he went by Zev and that he’d seen him a few times talking to Nate or Blake. He was also one of the few who was friends with Maze, who trained with her, who took her as a serious threat. At least he wasn’t stupid. “You try to kill me, I won’t hesitate.”

Relief shot through his face. Giving him a crooked grin, Zev said, “Ally?”

Bay studied his sharp features, looking for any hint of deception. Handing him one of his weapons he said, “Ally. And it’s Bay.”

* * *

Weapon. He needed a weapon. Blake’s eyes trailed up the side of the mountain, past the ridges to the drooping rock.  _Perfect_.

Rubbing his hands, Blake gripped the ridges and began pulling himself up. He had done this numerous times. Ever since he was little he climbed on everything. He just hasn’t climbed this high without his wings.

 _Don’t look down, dumbass_ , he thought.

Grunting, Blake pulled himself over the ledge. With his back flesh against the stone, his hand wrapped around the nearest stalagmite. With a sharp jerk, the stone snapped off the ceiling of the cave, sending the sound echoing through the mountain. He needed to move before the others knew where he was.

Lowering himself, he carefully let his foot grab into a ridge. One at a time, Blake lowered himself. His ears picked up rustling fifty meters away. He lowered himself faster. He needed to get out of there.

His foot slipping, Blake fell backwards, falling to the ground far below. Twisting himself to land on his side, Blake pulled his arms over his head to protect them from impact.

At impact, Blake passed out.

* * *

Pulling backwards, Adrien brought his knee up, connecting to the male’s crotch. Instantly letting go, the male stumbled backwards, groaning. Gaining his footing, Adrien grabbed his fallen weapon and descended on the male.

“That looks painful,” he winced. “You really should have protected your cock better. Wouldn’t want to miss out on the chance to have children, Kane.”

The male growled at him. Gripping his weapon he launched himself at Adrien. Falling backwards on impact, Kane’s fist connected with Adrien’s shoulder. Pain shot out as it dislocated.

Black and white sparked across his vision. Gritting his teeth, he said, “Just for that, I’m afraid I’m going to have to kill you.”

Kane sneered down at him, “You’re at a disadvantage, Adrien.” His fist hit his cheek. He could feel the skin start to bruise. “You’re down an arm.” He smirked, “And your good arm at that.”

Rolling on top of him, Adrien growled, ignoring the shooting pain that passed through his shoulder and arm, and ignoring the dizziness in his head. His hand wrapped around the male’s throat. “Any last words, you prick?”

The male spat blood at him, and grinned. He knew he was going to die, no matter what he did. It was written all over his face. “You and that bitch aren’t going to make it out of here alive. Neither is that fag of a-” Fear shot through him.

Grabbing the male by his hair, he slammed the back of his head into the ground. A crack sounded through his ears on impact. He growled, “Goodbye, you  _prick_.”

Picking himself up, he ripped of the male’s shirt in strips, binding his arm to his chest the best he could. The male didn’t need the shirt if he was dead. And if he wanted to stay alive, he needed to find an ally soon to pop his shoulder back in or else he’d be dead from the pain or internal bleeding within the twelve hours. Twenty-four tops.

* * *

Nate cocked his head and grinned widely at the three males. Two he didn’t know. But the one in the center... his mother was some kind of priestess to the Illyrians. Always yammering on about how an Illyrian should be. The Mother’s Plan for them. He knew Kapriel very well. And he had a suspicion that his mother knew about them. Fan- _fucking_ -tastic.

Leaning against the wall he sighed, “Oh give me a break, Kapriel. Do you seriously want me dead? Or is it your  _mother_ who wants me dead?”

The male shifted, clenching his fists. Looking as if he would rather be anywhere else but in front of him. “Does it matter?”

He felt loose and wound at once. He crossed his ankles. “Well, I should hope so. I don’t make it a habit to sleep with people who want me dead.”

The one on the right rose his brows, “You slept with his mother?”

Nate rose a brow, “Hello, I’m  _gay_. Have we met?” His eyes flicked back to Kapriel who looked pale.

It took a minute for realization to dawn on the males’ faces. What idiots. The males looked at Kapriel in surprise, “ _You’re_ gay?”

Pulling the attention away from him, Nate said, “As much as I would enjoy having a lively debate about the pro’s and con’s of being gay, I have a talk I need to get to. So, if you don’t mind, gentlemen, try to kill me so I can kill you and be done with it.” he shrugged. “Or you can be smart and turn and walk away. Your choice.”

Silence beated around them for a solid minute. Nate loosened his arms, prepared to fight his way out. The males looked to Kapriel for the next step. They were friends, Nate realized. Good ones, if they weren’t turning on him. The left and right one glaced at each other and nodded. The left one said, “What do you want to do, Kapriel?”

Conflict warred across his face. “I don’t want to kill you, Nate.”

“Then don’t.”

“My mother-”

He uncrossed his ankles, “Your  _mother_ can kiss my  _ass_. Liking males is not a sin or unpure or whatever the fuck she told you. And even if it was, the Mother is a pretty relaxed female. She’d have more of a problem with  _your mother_  before She had a problem with  _you_.”

Kapriel gave him a wary glace, “Do you really believe that or are you trying to save your skin?”

He shrugged, “My skin is saved no matter what. The real question is, do  _you_ believe that.”

 _Come on_ , Nate thought,  _Don’t make me kill you_.

A considering look passed through Kapriel’s face. It was almost as if a weight pulled off the Illyiran’s shoulders. Kapriel said quietly, “Let’s go.” Tuning on his heel, he looked over his shoulder, “I hope you don’t get dead, Nate.”

He let out a breath, “Yeah, me too.”


	18. Blood of Passage (Part Three)

****

Maze hastily scrubbed at the dried blood that had spilled down her face. She needed to get it off before it attracted the other males to her. Some were deep enough, she feared, they would scar. The males had tried to pin her down, tried to undo the binding on her wings to shred them. They tried to disfigure her face. They failed. And now, they were all dead. She refused to break.

A low growl came from behind her. Slowly turning around, a male stood over her, his dark eyes merciless. She could see the blood that had stained his hands and face red. His teeth bared at her as he stalked toward her. She felt herself back up.

She had fought plenty of males but they were all in control of themselves. Had at least one shred of humanity. This male, however, he had gone feral.

He grinned at her, blood in his mouth. She continued to back up. Her back hit a wall. Holding the weapon out in front of her, she looked for his weak spots. But he was built like a battering ram of the strongest stone. That was it. He was slow.

She ran.

* * *

The males surrounded them. Blood stained their clothing and flecked their faces. Gripping his weapon, a low growl reverberated through himself. At his back, Zev said, “Come on, fellas. Why don’t we all just head out of the mountain together and call it good? Yeah?”

“Shut  _up_ , Zev,” he snapped. “Now isn’t the time for your eternal optimism.” The males around them smirked, drawing closer. He could see bloodlust on some of their faces. He rolled his neck, loosening his spine. He was prepared to fight his way out.

“On the contrary,” he said,completely unfazed. “Now is the perfect time.”

He shook his head, “What kind of Illyrian  _are_ you?”

He heard the brightest laughter coming from him, “One of a kind, my friend.”

His rolled on the balls of his feet, ready to pounce. Bay said, “On three?”

“ _Three_.”

Bay launched himself at the nearest warrior. Fists flew and weapons striked. Twisting, Bay’s elbow connected with a male’s nose. Pulling forward, his fist connected with another’s face, shattering the male’s eye socket. Cupping the back of the male’s head, he brought it down, connecting the broken socket to his knee, killing him instantly.

Zev smiled, “Who’s next?”

* * *

“Why don’t we just kill him? Blake isn’t the one we want. We need Adrien if we’re going to get to her.” Her. There were only two ‘her’s’ that Adrien could be used against. One was at home and the other one was here. They wanted Maze. Mother help them if she came after them.

“Do you  _know_ where Adrien is,” a second voice asked cooly. This voice was laced with secrets and hidden agendas. His instincts told him this male had reasons of his own for wanting him. He didn’t want Adrien or Maze. He wanted something else. At the silence he said, “I didn’t think so.”

Blake feigned unconsciousnes, letting his other senses pick up the information around him. The ground was wet beneath him. They were close to water. His wrist had been wrapped in a makeshift brace. Why?

“You might as well open your eyes, Blake. We know you’re listening.”

His eyes felt like sandpaper as he blinked and pulled himself up into a sitting position.The first male had brown hair and hazel eyes like most Illyrians but the second had dark skin and dark eyes. And pointed ears. He was halfbred too.

Storing the information, he demanded, “What do you want with Maze and my brother?”

The first male sneered, “You aren’t in the position to be asking questions.”

He glared, “Trust me, the minute I stop asking questions, is the minute I’ve decided to kill you.”

A low laugh escaped the second male, “A honest Shadowsinger. I am surprised.”

He gave him a hateful smirk, “Either kill me or let me go. I won’t let you use me to hurt my brother and his- and Maze.”

The first male smiled cruelly, “It was her mistake coming in here.”

The second male sighed. With a swift motion, the male brought his weapon to his friend’s throat. Gurgling on his blood the male fell to the ground and convulsed. In a matter of seconds, he was dead. Wiping the blood from his hands onto his pants, the male said, “He was annoying. Always going on about the role of female illyrians.” He shook his head, “What drivel. Anyways, Blake. I believe we need to have a conversation.”

Fear shot through his limbs. “About?”

“Our mutual friend, Aurora Luxmea.”

* * *

Bracing the side of the wall, Adrien followed the sound. It’s dripping keeping him  barely conscious. Ten hours with a dislocated shoulder. Ten hours of trying to find an ally and stay alive. Stumbling, Adrien fell to his knees, his hand bracing his fall before his head hit the stone floor.

He wanted to close his eyes and take a break but he feared that if he did, he wouldn’t wake up. His Maze told him to stay alive. He gritted his teeth, standing back up. He would stay alive.

He leaned into the wall, letting the stone cool off his forehead. He had a fever. Shit, shit, shit. Reluctantly pulling back, Adrien followed the dripping.

“If you die, I will kill you,” said a wry voice.

Slowly, Adrien turned around. The pain in his skull pulsing. Brown skin, braided hair to his chest, wry humor in his black eyes. This was Ezekiel, at least he thought it was. He hadn’t actually talked to the male in years. “Am I hallucinating you, or are you actually here?”

The male chuckled, “Does it matter? I’m here.”

Tears pricked in the back of his eyes. He didn’t know if it was from the pain or the guilt. “Does this mean you forgive me?”

Ezekiel’s lips twitched, “For what? We were eight.”

Pain cracked through his skull, stars and darkness spilling out, blanketing over his senses. Head spinning, his foot slipped on the damp stone. His head connecting with the ground, Adrien blacked out.

* * *

 

It had been nonstop. Most of the males he ran into didn’t attack him but they didn’t stop their friends from attacking him. Now he has a cut under his eye and was in a irritable mood. Fucking backwards-ass people. He shook his head.

Back to the wall, Nate peered around the corner. The space was clear, some bodies littered the ground. He squinted his eyes. A figure with braids of midnight hunched over a collapsed body, his fingers to the male’s neck. His heart stopped.  _Adrien_.


	19. Blood of Passage: Part Four

Horns resonated through the mountain, its sound carrying through the caverns as Maze fled from the feral fae. Day two, she realized. Six more days of dodging males trying to kill her or much, much worse. Her blood pounded through her, she reined in her fear lest he smell her and hunt her down that much faster.

Bodies littered around her, their blood seeped through her boots, squishing between her toes. She picked up a discarded weapon and breathed. She shouldn’t be running, she needed to kill the male before he tried to kill or rape her. He had no humanity. He had yielded to the baser animalistic part of himself, the part that took and she was in his crosshairs and would be until either she or he was dead.

Turning, weapon in hand, fear crushed down so far she refused to feel it, she stalked toward the male. Adrien flashed in her mind, unconscious and bleeding; She froze. He was in trouble and she needed to get to him.  _Stay alive_ , She thought.  _I’m coming_. She faced the male, ready to kill.

* * *

Ripping the shirt from a dead male, Bay wrapped strips around Zev’s side, staunching the torrent of blood. His fingers were sticky with blood and he knew it would haunt his dreams for long to come. He kept his face hard, refusing to let his concern show, how terrified he was that Zev was going to die. It wasn’t like Ash, he couldn’t save anyone this time.  “You should have listened to me.” Kindness would only get him so far in a mountain full of killers fighting their way out. “Now I got to haul your ass out of here.”

Zev coughed, blood coating his lips. “Come on, my friend. We both know I’m not making it out of here. Not alive anyways.”

He took him by the shoulders, forcing him to look. “Yes, you  _are_. You are going to profess your love to Maze so Adrien can kick your ass. You are going to get over her and find yourself a nice female who isn’t as bitchy as Maze and live happily ever after with a bunch of overly kind brats or else I swear by the Cauldron if I die I’m going to  _kick your ass so hard in the Afterworld you’ll end up reincarnated_. You understand me?”

He winced as Bay helped him up. “And in this scenario, are you and Nate finally over yourselves and together?” Was he that bad at hiding his emotions? That Zevakyn of all people could see through it?

He took on his weight. “We need to get to Blake. He’s better with staunching blood that I am.”

* * *

“How do you know Aurora?” Blake demanded. He stood a few inches taller, but where he was lean, this male was athletic.The fight would be between his speed and the male’s strength.  And if this male was a threat to his mate, he wouldn’t think twice before killing him.

“Word around the Dawn Court is that a golden haired shadowsinger almost killed her and her father.” He said father with such a burning hatred, he wondered what the High Lord did to him. “Is that true? Did you try to kill her?”

Blake took a step closer,  he could see stark scars around the male’s tanned neck, almost as if it had been cut open,deeply, and a curved scar through his brow and around his left eye.  He paused, “Who did that to you?”

His golden eyes darkened. “Not all of us getting loving parents, Blake.” He almost lowered his weapon. Almost. “My mother was very beautiful, so I am told. As beautiful as the morning sun. She had caught the eye of a male and he fell in love with her. But he held a firm grip with her and when she learned she was carrying, she feared what he would do to her child. She ran. But he did not rest until he found her, to ask her why she left. But he found her, pregnant, near ready to give birth.” Few female Illyrians left the Night Court despite the camps being dangerous grounds for them, but  _the Dawn Court_? What could have happened to go there?

“He begged her to come back that he would change, that he had a daughter waiting to meet his son. She  _snarled_ at him, refusing to take me back to that infernal court, that she would sooner leave me to the Camps before taking me back.” Bile rose in Blake’s stomach. He continued, “My father lashed out, not realizing that she had a difficult pregnancy, that her body was failing. The impact resulted in premature labor that left her dead and me motherless. My father raged in grief and couldn’t look at me.” He straightened. “Couldn’t look at her eyes and relive what he had done. So, he left me to the elements. But I was found by the male my mother was in love with, Rainer.”

“The warlord?” That lord was brutal in his camp, no wonder he had such scarring. He blinked, heavy realization began to swirl in him, at the cheekbones, the midnight hair.

He nodded, “he buried her and swore to raise me in her stead, raise me a warrior, keeping me hidden from the dawn court, forbidding me from seeing my sister. He named me Tarus. After her, his Tara, his midnight star. But I kept tabs on my sister growing up. I feared she would grow to be just like him, ruthless and cruel. A tyrant. And I won’t let another one of him rule if something happend to the High Lord. I would have killed her before her reign began. But she’s like her mother; Cunning, determined, unnaturally kind.” his face hardened, “And merciless to her enemies. And I find out a golden haired Shadowsinger tried to kill her. There is only one fitting that description.  _You_. So Blake, I will kill you for attempting to kill my sister. And I will not fail as you did.”

“Aurora is your sister.”

* * *

_The male stood over her, his dark eyes mirthless and savage. She gripped her weapon, stuffing her fear down. Where he struck right, she dodged left. Claws scratched across her chest and she screamed-_

Adrien woke with a start, a faint pain shooting through his shoulder and head, Lilacs and rain burning through his nose. He scanned the darkness, “Where is she?”

Nate rose his brows, “Sorry, to disappoint, it’s just me.”

He tried to stand, “No, I heard her scream!”

Nate brought him back down, “Relax, you almost died, you moron. You’re no good to Maze dead.”  _Stay alive_ , her words ran through him He slowly sat back down, wincing at the pain.

Zeke frowned at Nate, “Who is Maze? Is that the female that entered the Blood Rite?”

A low growl reverberated through him, “Where is she, I heard her. I know I did.  _I can smell her_.”

* * *

So many things clicked into place, that it took everything to not say it. Not with Zeke here and definitely not when Adrien was unhinged. Nate almost winnowed to find Maze and bring her back to his brother, just so he’d calm down. He was- she was-

“Adrien,” He said. “She isn’t here. I promise you.” He kept his hand on his brother’s arm, stopping him before he winnowed to her. Adrien’s eyes were near black, his pupils devouring any color, and panic, so much panic was in his face. “You need to calm down.”

“I  _am_ calm,” he growled.

“Then fucking act like it,” he snapped. “We are in enemy territory with people out to kill us and I do not feel like saving your ass twice.”

He growled, then blinked; his words sinking in. His eyes darted between him and Ezekiel, “What happened to your face?”

“I did,” Nate said. Adrien just rose a brow, his breathing starting to even out. Ezekiel  tried to glare, his eye swollen from Nate’s fist; he could still feel the ghost of Ezekiel’s bone against his knuckles. The way he stood over Adrien, he just moved. He didn’t know the male, didn’t trust him.  _At all_. The last time he had seen him was when he was seven and his father had died. Zeke’s mother just up and took him to another war camp, a war camp known for its brutality. And when he had seen him leaning over Adrien he didn’t so much as hesitate from almost killing him. A lot can change in eleven years and he wasn’t going to hesitate and it cost him his brother’s life.

“Who’s Maze?”He was too intersted in her. He was close to snapping his neck to protect both Adrien and Maze. Adrien would hesitate and that decision would get him killed. 

 “She’s no one,” Nate said. “Just another warrior.”

“I see.”

He ignored him, “Ade, can you stand? We’re on day two. We need to be in the center by tomorrow,” he looked at Zeke and gave him a silent promise. “And  _nothing_ will stop us from getting there.”


	20. Blood of Passage (Part Five)

The male stood over her, shadows slithering off of him and his eyes dark. The pain in her chest burned from his claw marks but now that he was closer, she knew who he was. He had the reputation as the biggest asshole in the camps. His father was Lord Devlon, his mother a female from the Court of Nightmares. Fucking Cauldron, it was Cyrian Inferos. One of her friends, the one friend of hers that Adrien  _hated_ with a burning passion.

She stared him down, ignoring the pain shooting across her chest. “Don’t make me kill you.”

He grinned, drawing closer. His eyes were filled with such world ending rage, the darkest parts of him made manifest. How could she bring him back without killing him? He was her friend and they both knew that she treasured her friendships. He shot for her and she dodged him narrowly. Burying her weapon in his shoulder he yelled out, an almost animalistic shriek.  _Come on, Cy_ , she thought.  _Don’t make me kill one of my friends_.

His pupils started to shrink back to regular, his shrieking turning more humane, more like a groan, “What the fuck  _happened_?”

She almost cried in relief. “You tried to kill me you fucking  _dick_. Why the hell were you feral on the first day? What would Tania think of you losing your mind so soon after the Blood Rite beginning?”

Rage lit his eyes again, a growl on his lips, “Where is Malyus?” He gripped her shoulders. “Where is your brother?”

She applied pressure to his wound and growled, “ _Let go of me_.”

He hissed and released her. “ _Where is your brother, Mazakynn_?”

“He was banned from the Blood Rite for trying to kill me. Why do you want to know?”

“He killed her. Your bastard of a brother killed my Tania. The one person who didn’t piss me off.” She blinked back surprise. Tania was so kind and it was such a shock to hear about her and Cyrian. The female had a smile that would light up a room. “When I find your brother I am going to kill him and take my sweet time doing it.” Considering his mother was a skilled interrogator from the Court of nightmares who could torture someone for weeks, Maze didn’t doubt that Cyrian was just as skilled, considering how often he spent his time at the Court.

She shivered, the freezing wind burning the claw marks at her chest and face. “I’ll let you kill him if you help me get to Adrien.”

He looked down at her and frowned. His hand touched her chest, at the claw marks he made and then at the claw marks at her face and healed them, “You’re cheek will scar, not too bad though; It makes you look hot. However,” he said. “If you tell anyone I healed you, I’ll kill you.” She rolled her eyes. He examined her shirt, little more than ribbons and frowned. Pulling off his shirt he handed it to her, “Here, put this on. I don’t want to see your tits.” He smirked, “Plus I like you wearing my scent. It’ll drive Adrien  _insane_.” She sighed.

* * *

Zeve’s blood coated his fingers and Bay was terrified that they wouldn’t make it to Blake fast enough. Not with Zev alive anyways. “Stay conscious, Zev. Were almost to Blake. Stay  _conscious_ , damn it.”

Zev blinked up at him, his face pale, “Tell me a story, keep me awake.”

“What kind of story?”

“Tell me about you and Nate.”

He knew what he was asking and almost argued but it wouldn’t have been any good. Not with Zev near dead and it was a way to keep him alive. He sighed, “Just- just because I don’t want you dead, I’ll tell you. Okay?”

“I have known Nate almost as long as I have known Ash. He was annoying. Always laughing with his friends, stealing apples from the kitchen with his Shadowsinger abilities and getting punished for it. I on the other hand, I am bad at making friends and am always quiet and reading books. How Nate or Maze or Ash are my friends is beyond me.”

Zev coughed and winced, near stumbling. Bay gripped him tighter, stopping the fall. “Once you get past your brooding and glaring, you aren’t that bad to hang out with. Besides, we both know why  _Nate_ hangs out with you.” Blood rushed to his ears.

Bay cleared his throat. “ _Anyways_ , Nate always bugged me telling me the most ridiculous stories when all I wanted was to be left  _alone_ to  _read_. Pissing me off until I snap and punch him. Still, I trust him as much as I trust Ash.” Maybe more ever since Ash had taken off. He had the feeling Nate wouldn’t just up and abandon him. “And then when I was fifteen I saw him kissing some male…”

He choked out,” I realized I was jealous and I didn’t know  _why_. And then I hit the male and I had never seen Nate as pissed as he was. He started yelling at me in typical Nate fashion and I ended up crying not knowing why I hit that male. Ash found me and I told him what happened. He hugged me and told me everything was okay and to say I was sorry. It was later that week that I realized I was…” He cleared his throat, “and I apologized to both Nate and the male.” Bay sighed, “He grew on me…like mold. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t stay away from him, even when he pissed me off to no end.” He had never told anyone any of this. He just kept it locked up tight in his mind and refused to say any of it to anyone. He flat out denied any accusations or questions. He was a liar.

Snarling echoed off the walls and he stopped in his tracks, his head snapping up at the sound. Blake. It was Blake. He needed to go help him but he didn’t want to  _leave_ him-

Zev’s coughing got harder, his body convulsing and his blood started pouring out of the wound even faster. “Zev, no.  _No_. You promised you wouldn’t die if I told you a story.” Blake. He needed Blake. He rested Zev on the ground, “I’ll be back, okay. Just- Just stay  _alive_.”

* * *

“I didn’t try to kill her!” Blake spat out blood, his eyes trained on Tarus. He blocked Tarus’s next hit, the impact making his wounded wrist scream. “It was a  _Bellum Armis_  and I had no  _choice_! My friends would have died!”

Tarus struck again, “You’re  _lying_.”

He gritted his teeth, refusing to strike his mate’s brother. “No, I’m  _not_. I wouldn’t hurt her.” Tarus hesitated and suddenly Bay was on top of him, his hand on Tarus’s throat, a bloody fist poised to strike. Blake yelled, “Stop, don’t kill him!” He almost didn’t recognise him. His hair was matted down with blood and sweat, his fists stained red and  his mouth set in a grim line. So different from the quiet brooding that he had grown up seeing.

Bay growled, “Why?”

Blake panted, wiping the blood from his face. “He’s Aurora’s brother.”

Bay hesitated, “Does that mean he has blood that can heal others?” He turned back to Tarus. “ _Answer me_.”

Tarus clawed at Bay’s arm, trying to free himself, Bay’s fist tightened against his throat. “Yes,” Tarus choked out. “Yes I do.”

Bay released him, “Good, because now you are going to heal my friend or I am going to kill you.”

“After I kill Blake,” He coughed. I’m all yours.”

Bay slammed him against the wall and bared his teeth, “No, you are going to do this now, with Blake  _alive_ , or else I am going to  _rip your throat out_. I don’t  _care_ who your sister is, this is a matter of life or death and I’d much rather use your blood with you alive before I killed you and took it to save my friend.” He released him. “I’d much rather it be the former.” Bay wasn’t the type to make idle threats. If he said he would take his blood, he would.

Tarus rubbed his throat, assessing Bay. He paled at Bay’s threat and said, “ _Fine_.”

* * *

Zevakyn laid limply on the ground, his face pale and his eyes fluttering. Bay pushed Taurs forward, “Heal him,  _now_.”

Tarus got to his knees, two fingers checking Zevakyn’s pulse. Frowning he cut his wrist with a sharp rock, golden blood spilling as he put it to the Zev’s mouth. “What happened to him?”

Bay ran his fingers through his hair, it sticking up, “We were ambushed and like an idiot, he tried to talk his way out of it.”

Blake sighed. “That sounds about right. Is there anyone left?”

Crossing his arms, Bay said, “No.” Good.

Color started blooming in Zev’s face and he started to stir. Bay’s looked noticeably relieved. Zev looked up at Bay and smiled weakly, “I guess I get to live to see Adrien kick my ass.”

* * *

The only pain that he still felt was the ghost of a dislocated shoulder, but even that was overriden by the need to find Maze. The rush in his veins wouldn’t calm until he he saw her with his own eyes.

He stiffened, the scent of lilacs and rain filling his nose. Maze. She was near. He looked at Nate, who also stiffened. “You smell her too, right?” He felt as if he were going crazy, scenting her when she wasn’t there. Hearing her laugh when he was asleep and away from her.

Nate nodded, his eyes narrowed at Ezekiel, the warning in them clear. “She’s here.”

He started to run towards the scent, it getting stronger and stronger as he got closer to her. A small shadow accompanied by a taller one showed in the darkness.

_Maze, Maze, Maze._

He wrapped her in his arms, kissing her lips then her cheeks then her temples. He pulled her back, examing her face her body. A claw mark was across her cheek, deep enough it would scar. But there was still a scent to it and to the shirt she wore. He growled. Cyrian. He hurt her.

He launched himself at the male, “ _I’ll fucking kill you_!”

The male laughed. Laughed and blocked him, enraging him further. “Looks like Maze’s lapdog has teeth.”

His fist connected with Cyrian’s jaw, the sharpness cutting into his knuckles. “What did you do to her?”

Cyrian pushed him off, his fist connecting to Adrien’s still healing shoulder. He hissed at the returning pain. “Get off me, you  _pathetic_ excuse for an Illyrian.”

He could vaguely hear Maze yelling at Nate to get him off of Cyrian and knowing his brother he would just shrug and cross his arms. His fist connected with his ribs, they fractured beneath his fist. Good.

Arms wrapped around him, Ezekiel,  pulling him back. He fought against it, his fist connecting with Cyrian again, “Why can’t you just  _die_?”

Cyrian smirked, blood on his lips. “Seeing Maze in my shirt putting you on edge, Ade? She needed one, seeing as how hers was in ribbons.” He ginned fully, “Wouldn’t want a male getting his hands on her.”

* * *

Oh Cauldron, why does Cyrian bait Adrien every time he sees him? Adrien hates the male with a burning passion. Almost more than how much Rhys hated Tamlin. Far be it for Nate to keep Adrien from killing the prick.

Maze pushed pushed him, her small frame engulfed by Cyrian’s shirt. “Get him off Cyrian, Nate! He’s going to kill him!”

He shrugged and crossed his arms, “Would that be such a bad thing?”

“ _Yes_!”

Zeke’s dark eyes scanned Maze, his gaze traveling her body and flicked toward Adrien. He wanted to kill him, end the threat before it began. It was just too coincidental that he showed up when Adrien almost died. 

Zeke pulled Adrien off of Cyrian and Adrien fought back, his elbow hitting him in the stomach. Nate reigned in a laugh. The worst thing you could do was try to interfere with Adrien and his anger. He and their father were a lot alike.

Cyrian pushed Adrien off of him again, “I’d kill you,” he said. “But you aren’t worth the time. Maze restrain your  _pet_.”

She rolled her eyes and pulled him back. His brother didn’t fight her. He never fought her. Not unless it was a yelling match and he was forced to get between them. She forced Adrien to look at her, his pupils were so large and anger was etched on his face. “I am  _fine_ , idiot.”

His breathing evened out as he ran a thumb across her scar on her cheek, “Who did that to you?”

“No one,” she said evenly. Great. Another secret. “Let’s just get to the center so we can get to Bay and Blake and get out of here.” Right about now he would kill to see Baylor and his brooding face.


	21. Blood of Passage (Part Six)

****

The horns blasted through the mountain, signaling the end of the second day and the begining of the third. Good. Maze couldn’t wait to get out of here and drown in a hot, hot bath with Adrien and scrub away the blood that she knew would haunt her nightmares until the day she faded. She knew, even now, that she wouldn’t say a word about them.  She still saw her father and brothers’ shadows whenever she closed her eyes. A lie; a secret.

“Why are you wearing his shirt, Maze?” Adrien said. Worry mixed with jealousy and territorial bullshit; it was fucking annoying.“I don’t for one second believe that he gave it to you out of the goodness of his heart. He’d have had to have one to begin with.” His and Cyrian’s hatred for each other was legendary in the camps. One fight usually left several wounded and her yelling at both of them; Adrien apologizing to her and Cyrian rolling his eyes.

“Knock it off, Adrien.” She snapped. “He saw my shirt shredded and gave me his. It’s no big deal.” It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the whole truth. Another lie, another secret.

“Feeling a little threatened, Ade?” Cyrian crooned, “I would if I were you. She could always use an upgrade.” She glared at him and he grinned at her, shadows in his eyes that stopped her from yelling. He was using Adrien as a distraction for Tania. He would sooner die before he asked for any kind of help and all she wanted to do was throttle him but…he was her friend, even if he would never admit it. And he was hurting and if baiting Adrien helped him…far be it for her to get in the way of it.

Adrien snapped his head up and bared his teeth at him. “Shut the fuck up you evil bastard. I wasn’t talking to you.” He turned to her, “If you need a shirt you could wear mine. It’d fit you better and you could move easier.”

“Here we go,” Nate muttered, shaking his head. “You Straights and your drama.”

“How is  _Nate_ the only one of you males that has any common sense?” She snapped, “And he’s the most dramatic out of all of you idiots!”

“Woah, woah,  _woah_! Uncalled for Maze!” She ignored Nate’s offense and crossed her arms at Adrien.

Adrein’s eyes softened, his thumb brushing her cheek. “Maze, you were hurt and that scar on your face has his scent mixed in it and-”

“And nothing,” she said. “Leave it alone.” Hurt and worry flashed in his eyes. If Adrien knew that Cyrian had done this while feral…not even she could keep him back from killing the male. Secrets and lies to him and each one killed her, still, she did it. She pulled away, the guilt strangling her.

“Maze-”

“We are trapped in a mountain with people trying to kill us. Bay and Blake are still not here yet and-” she sucked in a breath, “I cannot deal with your jealous bullshit right now, Adrien. I’d rather get through here alone before I had to listen to you whine.” Another lie and from the look on his face, it cut deeply.

“Bad plan,” Ezekiel said, scanning around them.  “Because we’re being surrounded.”

* * *

Thick scars cut around around the male’s throat and thick kohl lined Tarus’s eyes; This male, he was a lot like Aurora. Granted, he didn’t know her all that well. A few meetings here and there and of course the Bellum Armis but…he looked just like his sister. Same cheekbones and hair. He wondered what happened to him.

He shoved the thoughts down as far as they could go and gave Tarus a cold stare, “You will not touch Blake. If you try to harm him or either of us, I will kill you. If you betray any of us, I will kill you. If you-”

Zev cleared his throat, “What my surly friend means is, thank you for saving my life.”

Bay crossed his arms, “No, what I mean is, if he betrays us, I will kill him.” Zev sighed.

“Look, Tarus,” Blake said. “I did  _not_ try to kill Aurora or her father. The only reason I was in the court to begin with was to get my cousin. Her father seems to have a problem with Illyrians and he saw it as a great insult that I was there. He ordered a  _Bellum Armis_  and I had no choice. If I refused, my friends and I would be dead.”

Tarus was quiet for several seconds, his dark eyes filled with thought. “You promise on Nathaniel’s life and I will believe you.”

His blood ran cold and he had the male by the throat before he realized what he was doing. “You go  _anywhere_ near Nate and I will kill you.”

Zev pulled at his collar and Bay reluctantly released Tarus. “Don’t kill him just yet, my friend. Why would Blake swear on his brother? She may be the Dawn Court heir but Nate is Blake’s brother, he would  _never_ -”

Blake answered for him, “Dawn Court custom, Blood for Blood.” Tarus nodded. “I- I can’t promise you that.” Zev blinked back suprise.

, “Neither can I. I can’t trust you-”

Bay shoved his anger down so, so far. “Listen to me, Tarus. The High Lady of the Spring Court  had to hold Blake back when your father threatened to kill her to prove a point. And she is working with the Night Court and Autumn Court to help your sister without starting a fucking war. Because of  _Blake_ , Aurora gets out of the Dawn Court and away from the bastard who hits her. We. Are. Trying.  _Everything_.”

Tarus stayed by the wall, rubbing his throat, not drawing closer to him. He would feel guilty but all he could think was that this male threatened Nate and that he was a threat to his friends. He kept his dark eyes averted from him and focused on Blake, “Is this true? Are you protecting my sister?”

* * *

Blake kept his eyes anywhere besides Bay. “Yes. I just want her to keep fighting.” He didn’t care if she was his mate or if she hated him. he just wanted her happy.

Tarus nodded, “Then I apologize for trying to kill you and threatening your brother. I was just trying to protect Aurora.”

A laughter of relief escaped Zev, “Now that that has been taken care of and now that I am no longer one step into the Afterworld, why don’t we all get to the center to the lovely Mazakynn and the others, yeah?” Zev being in love with his brother’s girlfriend was both incredibly stupid and funny as hell.

Bay shook his head, “No. You go to the center together and I’ll go a separate way.”

If something happened to Bay, Nate would be destroyed but at the same time Bay was a wrong look away from snapping from grief and anger and slaughtering every person in this mountain. The Illyrian had a problem with penting up his emotions and hurting himself. The only one who could get him to admit anything was his brother. Not even Ash could get him to open up when he didn’t want to.

“Why don’t you let one of us go with you? It’s hard getting through here with no allies. I mean, I would be dead if I didn’t get captured by Tarus and that idiot.” He didn’t know why he said it. They all knew that when Bay made up his mind there was no changing it. But he couldn’t just tell Nate that he let him go off alone.

“No. I want to go alone.”

“Friend-” Zev began.

“I am not your friend,” Bay snapped. “We were allies and strangers before that. Now that you are safe and with new allies, we can go back to being strangers.”

“Do you tell strangers what you told me?” Zev asked quietly. Blake’s blood ran cold at the look Bay was giving him.

You were dying and I needed to keep you conscious. Next time, I’ll just let you fall into a coma. Now, I am going alone and if you try to follow me, you’ll regret it. Find the others. I’ll see you when we get out of the mountain. Try to not let your kindness get you killed.”

“You know that once we get to the middle, Nate is going to ask where you are. I can’t just tell my brother that you left and went out on your own. He’ll turn around and come after you.”

“Tell him what I told you. I’ll see him after we get out of the mountain and we’ll have our talk. But right now, I need to be left alone.” His eyes shifted to Zev, “Do not follow me.”

“Bay-” Tarus began.

“I don’t know you; I don’t  _like_ you,” Bay snarled. “By threatening Nate, you gave up any chance of me being civil towards you. The only reason you are alive is because you saved Zevakyn’s life. You come after me I will cut you down where you stand.”

“We’ll let you go,” Blake edged himself between Bay’s teeth and Tarus. “But, I won’t hold Nate back from trying to get to you. If my brother dies because he went after you, I don’t care who you are to Cassian, I  _will_ kill you.”

Bay was quiet.“If that happened, I would want you to.” He turned and disappeared through the cavern.

Blake turned to Zev. “What the hell did Bay tell you to make him snap at you?”

“I’m afraid that is between Bay and Nate.” Tarus rose his eyebrows.

“Cauldron, Zev. You are lucky Bay didn’t hit you. If he told you what I think he did, you may be the only person Bay has said anything to. Consider it an honor. Not even Ash knows anything about those two.” Just suspicion, same as the rest of them.

“Well,” Zev said. “I’m afraid our friend is in a lot of pain and refuses to say anything. I thought by asking about it, when he knew I was dying, it would help.”

“I think it may have done the opposite,” Blake said.

“I don’t know the male,” Tarus said. “But even I must agree.” He was quiet before, “He’s different, isn’t he?” A knowning smile was on his face. “I pray he finds the courage  to do what his heart wants.”

Blake sighed, “Me too.”

* * *

Males surrounded them, their eyes darting between him, Nate, Cyrian, and Maze. Of course they would be targeted.. But the fact there were so many of them…they had been betrayed and he had a sinking feeling at who had done it.

Ezekiel and Cyrian stood at his back, Nate and Maze to his sides. “One chance, leave or every single one of you are going to die.”

“You are pathetic, Adrien. They aren’t going to go away because you asked them to.” He heard Cyrian smirk at the warriors,” You figured since we were better than you in every conceivable way, that you would kill us before we all outranked you and you became our bitches. I suppose I should be flattered. To bad you’ll all be dead before you have the chance to grovel at our feet.”

Growls came the males. “On three,” Adrien began, his fingers brushing Maze’s before bringing them up to a fighting stance.

“Three,” Maze said. They all attacked.

His fists connected with noses and throats. He cupped the back of a male’s head and brought it down, connecting his nose with Adrien’s knee. The male crumpled to the ground and groaned. He spun, disarming a male and stabbed him in the throat, his blood soaking Adrien’s hand. He went through male after male before a sharp pain hit him in the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.

* * *

There were so many males. How did they know where they would be? It was Ezekiel it had to be. Cyrian worked alone, he wouldn’t put effort into betraying them. He’d consider it a waste of time. He’d just kill them, himself.

Blood soaked his hands from each of the males he took down. He whirled, Blood soaked Maze’s hands and throat, but it wasn’t hers; she was okay. Her face was contorted in fury. He flicked his eyes to Cyrian, his dark eyes alit. He enjoyed this. But where… he scanned the ground, body after body. Where was his brother. He looked up, where was Ezekiel?

“Where is he?” Maze growled, her hands combing through each body, the fury and desperation clear. “Where is Adrien? Where is my-” She stopped and sucked in a breath and searched through each body.

“It would appear that your pet got taken by that male, Ezekiel,” Cyrian said cooly, wiping his hands on his pants. “For the ‘best shadowsinger of the generation’, Adrien is a complete idiot. I could smell the male’s betrayal from a mile off.”

Nate froze, ignoring Cyrian, as shadows formed in the distance. The shadows drew closer, shaping into three bodies. The tallest one stopped. “Nate?” Blake. It was Blake.

He ran to his brother and hugged him. “It’s so nice to see your sorry ass. You too, Zev.” He furrowed his brows at the dark male,  “And…whoever you are. Have you seen Baylor?” Blake hesitated and fear pooled in his gut. “Is he dead?” Please, no.

“He’s not dead, not that I know of. Our surly friend left on his own. He appeared to be troubled and refused to stay with us,” Zev answered for him.

First Adrien and now Baylor.  “I tried to get Bay to stay with us,” Bake said. “I tried, Nate. He warned us to not follow him. He said to tell you that he’d talk to you after the Rite. You know how he is. He prefers to be alone.” It was annoying. “Have you seen Adrien?”

“Adrien was taken by Ezekiel.”

It was Blake’s turn to freeze, Zev paled. “The same Ezekiel Adrien was friends with?”

“Yes.”

“He would blame Adrein for what happened with his father, Nate!” Blake yelled, “Why didn’t you kill him before he could betray you?”

“Because he is Adrien’s friend, damn it. I wanted to but Adrien seemed happy that his friend was finally speaking to him and-. I should have killed him and let Adrien be pissed at me. Now our brother is missing and it’s  _my fault_ ,” He punched the wall, stifling a scream. “First Adrien, now Baylor. Why can’t you stupid male’s be smart? Just for once in your lives?”

“Look who’s  _talking_ -”

“Shut up!” Maze snarled. “Shut up, shut up, shut.  _Up_. I’m going after Adrien, Nate is going after Bay and you, Blake, are going to leave the Blood Rite because Aurora needs you.”

“But-”

“No, Nate. You two are going to listen to me or I am going to make you. Do you understand?”

“I’m going with you,” Cyrain said, crossing his arms.

“Why would you come with me to save Adrien. You two hate each other.”

“Because I don’t want to listen to you cry over your boyfriend and because I am bored and have time to kill.”

“I’m going with you too, Maze,” Zev said. He held up a hand stopping Maze from speaking, “We don’t have time. I know Ezekiel and how he thinks. He’ll keep him alive for a while but…Adrien is going to wish he killed him.”


	22. Blood of Passage (Part Seven)

The male was too bloodied to stand, his tendons cut so he couldn’t try to run. Any guilt she felt, Maze pushed it down as far as it would go. This would wreck her immortal soul, that is if she had one. A mixture of terror and burning hatred was deep in the male’s eyes; she couldn’t blame him. What she had done, what she was willing to still do to get to Adrien..Maze didn’t know if there was a line to be drawn.

The male’s screams had turned to hoarse whispers over the past few hours; his skin was in ribbons from rocks and stalagmites sharpened to points; the only thing left untouched were the male’s wings. His blood soaked the ground and her hands in pools of red. She sliced, “Where did Ezekiel take Adrien.” Zev had known both this male and Ezekiel; they were friends at the camp that Ezekiel lived at. According to him, this male and Ezekiel would be working together.

The male groaned, “I’m not telling you.”

She sliced again, blood seeped past her fingers. “Where is he?”

His scream came out as a dry groan, “Let go of me, you bitch.”

“You really should come up with more creative names than ‘bitch’.” She flicked her gaze to her friends; Zev’s crooked grin was replaced with a harsh line, his hazel eyes cold and unyielding. A faint smile was on Cyrian’s lips but his eyes were as cold as Zev’s, dark and mirthless. “Unbind his wings.”

The male tried to pull himself backwards. “No.  _No_.”

“If you want your wings,” Maze began, shutting out the guilt. “I suggest you tell me what you know.”

“You don’t understand what Ezekiel will do to me-” So much for the bonds of friendship.

“I would worry more about what we’ll do to you if you don’t cooperate,” Zev said quietly.

Cyrain smiled, his teeth gleaming in the shadows, “I’ll take my sweet time and use a skillset I learned in the Court of Nightmares. Of course, if you just answer Mazakynn’s questions you’ll never have to know what I learned.” Cyrian had learned methods of torture in more ways than one; his scars were testament to it.

The male went silent. Maze stood up, “Cyrian, your turn.”

The male’s eyes widened at Cyrian’s growing smile, his fear flooding her senses. “I’ll tell you. Just don’t let  _him_ come near me.”

Cyrian snorted, crossing his ankles. “How pathetic.”

She ignored him. “Where is he.”

“Towards the center, there is a sectioned cave full of stalagmites. He took him there.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Zev finished for him. “that’s where the most damage to wings can be done.” Fear wrapped around her throat and strangled her. Adrien’s wings-The thought invoked images of nights flying over the camp together, to fend off her nightmares. If Adrien didn’t have his wings...he would want to die.

Cyrian smiled, “Thank you for your help. Too bad you need to die.”

* * *

 

_“Why are you leaving me! What did I do wrong,” Bay sobbed, clutching to his mother. “I’ll be good, just don’t leave me alone. I don’t want to be alone.”_

_“My special boy, you are never alone,” Her scent was mixed with sickness. Her dark hair pulled behind behind her, her hazel eyes sad. She began coughing, wiping hastily at the blood on her lips. She brushed his hair back, “You didn’t do anything wrong, Love. I leave you to this camp so you can make a new family. Find the Commander. He’ll help you after I’m gone. I love you, Baylor.”_

_“Don’t leave me.”_

_The memory shifted._

_His fist connected with the Kapriel’s face, he staggered backwards, clutching the already bruising jaw. Nate pushed him, “What the_ hell  _is wrong with you, Baylor? Why did you hit my boyfriend?” Bay shook his head. “Answer me!”_

_He kept shaking his head, “I don’t know-”_

_Nate growled, “Get out of my face before I return the favor.”  He flew away before Nate could see the tears of frustration._

* * *

 

Bay jerked awake, calming the rush in his veins. He was so tired. He just wanted to be able to sleep peacefully, just once in his life. He rubbed his face, forcing the ghosts in his mind far down.

His mind keeps shifting between his mother’s, Nesta’s and Nate’s faces. He rarely lashed out. He kept his emotions locked tight and used his mind. He didn’t want to be ruled by feelings. But still, he kept seeing their faces. The past few weeks are crashing down on him; Nesta’s death and Ash’s abandonment. They were crushing him and it was hard to breathe.

He just wanted to scream at Ash, he wanted to scream at the world. What did he do to deserve everyone abandoning him? Did Ash not realize he was breaking too? Did his best friend decide it was better to let him suffer alone so he could end his own pain?  _Why did you leave me alone, Ash?_

He tried to shove it down but it was already building in his throat, tears welled in his eyes and a sob almost escaped him.  _Get it together, Bay. Now isn’t the time to have an emotional breakdown_. He took a deep breath, forcing the tears away, forcing the grief back down, the numbness returning. He just wanted it to end.

He left Zev and Blake because he knew this was coming. He didn’t want them to see him break down. He was an Illyrian for Cauldron’s sake. He was a warrior not some child who couldn’t hadle pain and needed his mother.  _What mother_ , his mind betrayed.  _Both your mothers are dead_.

“Bay?”

He cleared his throat, “Kapriel? I thought you would be out of here by now.” Of all the people to run into, the Cauldron was playing a cruel joke on him. His dream flashed through his mind, his fist connecting with the male’s jaw. Guilt pooled in his stomach.

The male gave him a wary glance, most likely remembering the same thing as he. “No, I got turned around.”

“Where are your friends? The two that are always with you?”

Kapriel’s face broke apart, “They’re dead. Ambush.”

“I’m sorry.”

He nodded, clearing his throat, “I’m surprised you aren’t with Nate.”

He rose his brows, ignoring the heat rushing to his ears. “No, Nate is, uh, I don’t know where he is.” He hoped Nate did what he asked and headed for the exit of the mountain. He hoped that Blake told him to leave him alone. He doubted the stubborn male would listen to his brother.

Kapriel nodded, turning to leave. He didn’t want to be around him. He didn’t blame the male. He stopped and looked over his shoulder, “Be good to him, Bay.”

* * *

 

“How long have you been in love with Aurora?” Tarus asked, his eyes trained forward.

Blake snorted, “I’m not in love with Aurora.”

“Then why are you fighting so passionately for her?”

“That is a long story.” Blake said, scratching the dried blood on his face. “No offense but I barely know you, I’m not going to just tell you my business.”

Tarus laughed. “Fair enough.”

His life was so screwed up. First he finds his mate and then he has to leave her to his father. Then he almost gets banned from the Blood Rite by Cassian; now his entire family knows she is his mate; Then he writes her a letter telling her about the bond and the Blood Rite. He doubted that she actually cared about the Blood Rite or the bond. He wouldn’t actually act on it, didn’t want to. He just wanted her to be okay and, fine, maybe be her friend.

Now he’s in the Rite and almost dies by falling from a wall, like a complete idiot. Lets himself get captured, lets Adrien get captured, lets Bay leave and Nate go after him. Perhaps he didn’t deserve a mate; not if he couldn’t even help his little brothers. It was his job as the eldest to help them. He held off on the Blood Rite when he was seventeen so he could protect them in the Blood Rite. He stopped. “Tarus, I can’t leave.”

Tarus smiled, “Then neither can I.”

* * *

 

Pain exploded in his head as consciousness brought him back. His arms were tied down and he couldn’t move.“Where am I?” He groaned, “Where’s Maze?” A breeze brushed against his wings. He froze. “Why are my wings unbound?” He almost begged to let his wings be left alone. The only thing he loved more than flying was Maze. They had spent countless nights flying when she couldn’t sleep.

Ezekiel pulled his hair up, forcing Adrien to look at him. The wry humor was nowhere to be seen on his face. THe only thing that was there was there was brutality and hatred. He knew this was coming, that Ezekiel would try to get some kind of justice for his father. “You shouldn’t be concerned about Maze. You should be concerned for yourself.”

“Did you kill her?”

His laugh was mirthless, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I’ll kill you,” he snarled. “Maze doesn’t mean anything to you.”

“No, she doesn’t.” he said. “But it’s clear she means alot to  _you_. Even if your brother tried to hide it. It is clear you love her.”

She couldn’t be dead. Maze was everything to him, even if they fought all the time. It was more than love. It was something deeper. He would know if she was dead. But still he said, “Please tell me you didn’t kill her.”

He released his hair, Adrien’s head fell, too weak to stay up on his own. “No, I didn’t kill her. I can’t say the same for the rest of the ambush. She’s probably dead.”

No she wasn’t. He knew that she was alive. She was one of the best warriors in the camps. She or Nate would come after him. He knew it. Her voice whispered to him,  _Stay alive_. He could briefly smell her rain and lilacs.

He forced his head up, “You don’t know what you’ve done. She’ll come for me and you will die. Painfully.”

Ezekiel’s lips twitched, “Not before you do.”

“Why didn’t you just kill me. Why drag it out.”  _You know why_ , his shadows whispered.  _He wants you to pay for what happened to his father_.

“My father is a broken mess because of you,” he snarled. “Rhys broke his mind and shredded his wings and it’s your fault.”

“Your father,” he spat. “Was working with rebels in the Night Court. It’s his fault for leaving information out where a child could get to it. It was his own stupidity that got him turned into a living ghost.”

“Well,” He said coldly. “It’s your stupidity that cost you your wings.”

Ezekiel nodded to the males behind him and Adrien screamed. He felt the membranes in his wings be pulled apart, the slashes went completely through them. “ _Please_.”

“Again.”

His legs had turned to jelly and he almost collapsed to his knees, the binding on his wrists prevented him from dropping. He looked up at Ezekiel. “You’re my friend.”

“I  _was_.”

Slashes started again and he screamed louder. His shirt was ripped off of him and he knew what was coming. He braced himself as his skin began to scream, rocks and talons slashed through his back and arms.  _Stay alive_ , Maze’s voice said.

“Not male enough to torture me yourself,” He panted, grinning at him with a bloody smile.

He just rose his brows, “I don’t enjoy torture. I’d rather keep my hands clean.”

“Don’t you mean your conscious? You want to punish me for an eight-year-old’s deeds. You will never have clean hands again.”

Fury flashed in Ezekiel's dark eyes, “ _Again_.”

* * *

 

_“Baylor,” Nate whispered. “Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.” Bay whimpered, still locked in his sleep. Nate climbed onto his bed and gently shook Baylor’s shoulders. “Baylor, wake up.”_

_Baylor snapped open his eyes; the warm hazel was filled with terror as he squinted, “Nate? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in your room?”_

_“I heard you scream for your mother. Are you okay,” he whispered. “Do you need me to get Nesta or Cassian?”_

_“No,” he whispered, the fear plain in his face. “I’m okay.”_

_“You know you can tell them about your nightmares. They won’t kick you out or anything. They would be happy to help you. They love you, you know.”_

_“_ No _.”_

_He sighed. “Fine, then I’m sleeping in here until you fall asleep.”_

_Bay froze, “_ What _?”_

_“It’s okay. Adrien crawls into Blake’s bed when he gets a nightmare too. Just scooch over some.” As Baylor moved over, Nate curled up beside him, resting his head on his pillow. The smell of cinnamon and apples filled his nose. “Good night, Baylor.”_

_“Goodnight Nate.”_

* * *

 

Nate opened his eyes, the scent of cinnamon and apples fading back into his mind. That dream..they were eight and Baylor and Nesta and Cassian were visiting his parents in Varalis. He heard him scream and just..moved.

He had slept in Bay’s bed, over the covers, until they were eleven. Bay refused after then, saying something about needing to sleep alone and learn how to manage to sleep through the nightmares. They fought about it but..it wasn’t until the year before that he realized why he would sleep outside Baylor’s door just to make sure he was okay.

He shook the thought from his mind and stood. He needed to find him and knock some sense into that pretty head of his. He sighed.

The corridor was dark, bodies strewn across the floor. He wasn’t sure how he knew where Baylor would be. But he just followed his instinct. He stopped. “Kapriel?”

The male stopped. “Nate.”

“Where are your lackeys at?”

“They’re dead. We were ambushed and they got their throats slit.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was. “They seemed like good friends, despite being stupid.”

“They were,” he said quietly. “You’re trying to find Bay...aren’t you?”

He crossed his arms. “Maybe.”

“Look, Nate.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “I know we didn’t end things on good terms but-”

“No,  _you_ ended things on good terms. I didn’t.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me you feel  _nothing_ for Bay.”

“I-”

He sighed. He wasn’t mad, just tired. “You need to get to him. He’s about two miles back by the ravine. Nate..he’s in bad shape. He needs you.”

“Why are you helping him? He punched you in the face.” He was livid. Bay just punched Kapriel after seeing them kiss. He didn’t see the confusion or fear on Baylor’s face, he just knew that he was mad and...but now, it is so clear and he reacted so badly to him and pushed him away for weeks. He felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Maybe if he had, Baylor would be able to be open about everything instead of so far inside himself he flat out lies to everyone.

He shrugged. “He kept my secret. So I’ll keep his. If I were you, I’d hurry.”

Nate hugged him, “Thank you.” He ran.


	23. Blood of Passage (Part Eight)

Horns blared through the mountains, rippling the water in front of him. Three more days and Bay could see the stars. He almost didn’t recognize himself. His face was gaunt from three days without food, his eyes red from trying to hold back the tears and blood and sweat covered his face, hiding his freckles. Bringing up the water to his face, Bay scrubbed the blood and sweat away. He somehow looked older as if the weight he carried had aged him. He was seventeen years old and he felt a thousand.

He forced the grief and pain down as far as it would go. He didn’t need to have an emotional breakdown. In a place where it was either kill or be killed, it didn’t do to be weak; emotions would get him killed.

As hard as he tried to push them down, the memories hit him back with a force. He was forgetting the exact shade of her eyes, the way she smelled, the curve of her mouth when she laughed. He remembered so little of her. But what he did remember…the apples that covered the table at harvest, the laughter that filled the rooms. Sometimes he wondered if she left him at the Commander’s camp because she somehow knew Nate was there. He sighed and scrubbed at his face until it hurt, letting the cool water shock his senses.

Bastard born to a female who was a bright light to everyone around her. But when she got sick everyone left. No one wondered what happened to Caeli’s son. Where he went, if he was still alive. No one knew that her son was the ward of one of the greatest Illyrian’s of all time; ward of one of the greatest female warriors of all time.

No one knew that he fought to rise the ranks at the camps. No one knew that he had nightmares that plagued him as soon as he closed his eyes. No one knew how often he thought about closing his eyes and never waking up. No one knew that he was just waiting for everyone to leave as soon as they figured out he wasn’t worth their time anymore. It was better to expect the worst than get caught up in the moment being happy. The happier you were the harder the pain hit.

He took deep, even breaths. Keeping his emotions locked down so tight that they wouldn’t overcome and strangle him. He brought the water to his lips and he drank deeply, shutting out memory after memory of his mother.

“Baylor. I found you.”

He looked up, Nate stood before him, hands on his knees, blood on his face; His eyes were a mix of worry and exhaustion. He ignored the way he was looking at him. He ignored the rising heat in his face, the pounding of his heart. “What are you doing here. I told Blake to tell you to leave me the fuck alone.”

“You knew I would come after you. I kept my promise, Baylor. I’m not leaving.”

He couldn’t stop them as he broke apart. He couldn’t stop the tears as they came and flooded over him. “Baylor- It’s alright.”

“She’s dead.” He didn’t know who he was talking about anymore. His mother or Nesta; both faces merged together in his mind. He couldn’t stop crying and he was trying so hard. “She’s dead, Nate. And I keep losing people.  _I can’t keep losing people_.”

Nate’s arms were around him and he was too tired to shrug him off. He just leaned forward into him, breathing in the lavender and mountain scent of Nate. “First my mother died, then Nesta and the baby died and Ash went an almost got himself killed…I am so  _tired_ , Nate. People keep leaving me and I don’t know why. I just want it all to  _stop_.”

Nate pulled away from him, and met his eyes. He was close enough he could see his individual lashes, the depth of his brown eyes; so dark it they were almost black.“I’m not going to leave you, Baylor. I promise.”

He tried to ignore how hard his heart was pounding; the closeness of Nate; the sincerity of his promise. “You can’t promise that.” They were immortal and warriors. People die every day. Wars come and go and people get sick.

Nate sucked in a breath, his eyes bright. Their lips met and the warmth of his mouth sent a flood of starlight through every neuron. He found himself touching Nate’s face and he froze as they parted. Nate’s thumb brushed his cheek, the pad of his thumb rough. “Yes, Baylor. I  _can_.”

* * *

He was so close to Baylor. His freckles lighted the greens in his hazel eyes; his eyelashes were so thick and his eyes were so wide; not from fear but from shock and they glowed despite the red splashed across his cheeks and into his ears. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

Baylor swallowed, his eyes flicked downwards and back up, “I’m- I’m not.” A heartbeat. “Sorry that is.”

His fingers were still on his face and they were frozen; time stopped around them or maybe it sped up. He didn’t know. All he did know was that Baylor was right in front of him and he was the male’s first kiss. “You have  _no idea_ how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Nate whispered.

Baylor was hesitant as he leaned forward and met his lips again, sending fire through every nerve and neuron; Green apples and cinnamon flooded his senses and he didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay right where he was forever. He forced himself to part, his fingers wrapped around Baylor’s. “Baylor,” he said softly. “You are sad and full of grief. I can’t take advantage of that. As much as I want to, and believe me, I want to, I can’t. You need time to grieve without a new whatever-this-is confusing you.” He could almost see armor locking down piece by piece around Baylor’s heart. “Don’t lock yourself away,” he said quietly. “I’m not leaving. I just… want you to be  _sure_.”

* * *

His numbness burned away as his heart pounded so hard; and his blood was on fire and he was. He was sure. “You’re not take-taking advantage of anything, Nate. People dying puts things into perspective and I’m tired. Of- of the lying to everyone about myself. I am tired of watching you without actually…being with you; And- And wanting what I want. So..I am. I am sure, Nate. I am  _very_ sure.”

Nate was fighting a smile and his face got redder and redder. He whispered, “Are you stammering?”

“N- _No_.”

Nate pushed back his wet hair and kissed his forehead. His lips sent a jolt of warmth through him. He looked back down at him and grinned fully, “Sure you’re not, Baylor.” He found himself smiling for once in a very, very long time. “Why are you smiling?”

He swallowed, “I have something to smile for.”

* * *

It had been years since he had seen an actual smile that wasn’t forced on Baylor’s face and Nate found that he wanted to see that smile at least once a day and he wants to be the reason for it each time.

Those freckles were stark over the blushing on Baylor’s cheeks and they were going to be his undoing. He traced them with a thumb and brushed Baylor’s lip. Bringing up his face, their lips met again.

He didn’t know when he started falling for Baylor. Maybe it had never actually started all he knew was it never stopped; it consumed him and he wanted him more than anything and he knew he would have waited forever for him. The last relationship he had was… Cauldron..two years before? With Kapriel? The male broke it off with him for his supposed feelings for Baylor and he swore up and down that he didn’t. But maybe he did and he just didn’t realize it until that Starfall when Baylor came out of the study to watch the stars.

He knew then that he was irrevocably in love with him. The way his eyes lit up at the stars but didn’t smile. The way he leaned against the wall in his finery with a book in his hand; he didn’t dance, but he did watch the rest of them dance and he found himself stalking over to him.

He parted from him and ran his fingers through the ends of the hair curling below his ear. “You don’t have to worry about me going anywhere, Baylor. You could break my heart and I would consider it an honor. I'm in love with you.”

* * *

They ran right through him, deep into the center and he felt the truth of Nate’s words. “You're in love with me?”

Nate’s eyes almost glowed and Baylor found himself almost breathless at the look he was giving him. “Yes. I am. You don’t have to say anything; It’s not going to change the way I feel about you.”

“But why? There are better males out there than a bastard born nobody with abandonment issues.”

His thumb traced his freckles and Nate met his eyes, ”Sure there are. But there aren’t any that would get as excited as you do over a book. There aren’t any who would put their entire future on the line for their best friend, who lets an eight year old barge into their bedroom and sleep next to him as a way to combat their nightmares. There aren’t any that are you.“

He didn’t realize he was crying until Nate kissed away his tears. “I don’t deserve you.”

“We deserve each other and we deserve to be happy. Whether that is a minute or forever, we deserve it.” Nate wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer, flesh up against him and kissed him. “Are you… coming out? No pressure or anything..I just..um.”

“Nathaniel are you stammering?” He smiled at the blush finally,  _finally_ on Nate’s face.

“No, I’m not  _stammering_.”

A bubble of laughter came from him and Nate grinned, his eyes alight. “Sure you’re not. But…I think so. I want to.” He knew it wouldn’t be easy, that it would take getting used to. But he was tired of the lying, the secrets. He just wanted to be himself for once. Maybe it would even help his nightmares.

He laced his fingers through Nate’s. “It’s not always easy, especially for Illyrians, but you have a family who loves you no matter what. And..you have me. The reward is worth the risk. And Baylor, Caeli’ will be proud of you.” The mention of his mother’s name on Nate’s lips sent a rush of bitter sweetness through him.

“I think I have an idea on what I’m going to do.”

Nate rose his eyebrows, “How so?”

He grinned, “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“I knew it. You  _are_ a tease.”

He snorted.

“Nate. Bay. I found you.”

He whirled around, “Blake? What the  _hell_. I told you to leave me alone.” He snarled at Tarus, “ _You_. If you come anywhere near Nate I will rip your throat out before you take your first step.”

Tarus rose his hands, “I’m sorry, Baylor. Threatening his life was a mistake I will not make again.”

“Damn right ‘your mistake’. Wait why did you threaten my life to begin with and who the hell are you?”

“Meet Tarus, Aurora Luxmea’s little brother.” Bay crossed his arms, “He tried to kill Blake becasue Blake was trying to kill Aurora.”

Nate snorted, “Blake kill Aurora? That’s about as likely as Dacia having sex with me.”

“I don’t understand why would Dacia Archeron have sex with you?”

“That’s the point. We’re both repulsed by the opposite sex. I’ll give you a slide for threatening my life seeing as how we’re in the Blood Rite where emotions run…high. But next time I’m siccing Baylor on you.”

Blake grinned, “What were you two doing before we showed up? You’re awfully close and Bay, are you  _blushing_?”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Nate snarled. “What are you doing here? Maze is going to castrated you for not listening to her.”

“I couldn’t leave my brothers so I turned back around. But please, let me and Tarus here go and rescue Adrien while you and Bay rip each other’s clothes off.” He flicked his eyes to him, “I’m happy for you, Bay. Don’t hurt my brother.” Heat rushed through his face and Nate rolled his eyes.

“What happened to Adrien?” He turned to Nate and whispered, “You chose to come after me before your own blood?”

Nate brushed back Bay’s hair. “Yes.” Blake and Tarus disappeared from his mind and it was only him and Nate. He didn’t know how to thank him. The fact he chose him over his family.. Bay kissed him, letting his thanks show through action. Letting so much more through it. He let through the emotion he'd been numb to, that Nate somehow brought out of the numbness of his Depression and grief. “I’ll always come after you, Baylor.” He believed him.

Bay looked between Nate, Blake and Tarus, “Well. Let’s go get Adrien.”


	24. Blood of Passage (Part Nine)

Adrien had been gone for almost a full day. Ezekiel was going to die, slowly and painfully. Or she may just rip his throat out. Either way, she was going to savor spilling his blood for taking Adrien from her. What kind of person casts blame on another for the actions of a child, an eight-year-old male?

Deep in the part of herself that she refused to acknowledge, where that golden thread lay, terror twisted around and told her to hurry. Adrien was hurt, he was dying and the last thing she told him...it was killing her. Why did she say such awful things to him when he was just worried for Cauldron’s sake. She didn’t deserve Adrien. She was just as awful as her father and brother; instead of hurting people with her fists she hurts with her words.

She pushed the worry and the quilt down as far as it would go but it rose up and strangled her, echoing in her head. She choked on a sob. No, stop it. She chided herself. Get him first and then have a breakdown. Do not let your father be right. Do not let Malyus be right.

“Maze.”

She ignored Zev and continued to push forward. Her words echoed in her head. A hand rested on her shoulder. She whirled around and pushed him, “ _Get away from me_.”

Zev staggered back, “You need to say it before it consumes you, Maze. Don’t let your guilt eat you alive. It won’t help Adrien.”

“Why do you care?” Maze snarled, “Don’t you have some stupid crush on me? Why worry about Adrien when your competition could be wiped out?” She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth.

A low whistle came from Cyrian, “Wow Maze. Nail his dick to a wall why don’t you.”

“Shut up, Cyrian,” Zev said quietly. “My feelings for you do not negate my feelings for him, Mazakynn. He is my friend too.”

She covered her mouth, “I am so sorry, Zev- I didn’t mean to say that.” Why did he like her to begin with? He was far too kind to be interested in her; He was too kind to be beneath this mountain with a bunch of killers who would use his kindness against him.

His crooked smile returned but it didn’t reach his eyes. “No worries.”

“I told him that I would rather walk through this hell alone than with him.” She said it. The words were a whisper and her guilt crashed into her, almost consuming her. “What kind of person says that to the person they love.” She blinked. That was the first time she told anyone she loved Adrien. “He doesn’t even  _know_ that I love him. He would tell me every night and I wouldn’t tell him. I would just say I know and I couldn’t tell him. It took him getting captured by an evil bastard to even be able to say it. What is wrong with me?”

“Get over it, Mazakynn. At least Adrien is still alive for you to apologize to him. At least Adrien is alive for you to tell him you love him.” Cyrian snarled, “Thank the Cauldron you still have him. Not all of us get a second chance.” He shook his head and stalked off ahead of them.

“He’s right you know,” Zev said quietly. “He is still alive and you will get your chance to tell him you love him. With the life you’ve had, Maze, Adrien is just happy that you talk to him.”

“How could you possibly know that.”

“Because I’m just happy you talk to me.”

“Why are you so  _nice_? Cauldron, Zev-” She froze. “What was that?”

“Someone’s screaming.”

“ _Adrien_.”

They ran.

* * *

He needed to get away from Mazakynn and her crying. Cauldron it was annoying. At least Adrien was still alive for Mother’s sake. She could pour her heart out to him and Adrien would still be alive to hear her sappy words. Unlike Tania.

His Tania, that bright light in a sea of shadows and darkness was gone, taken from him by Malyus. Her body was ruined, the bastard-born’s scent all over her in the worst possible way. He was going to kill him. Slowly and brutally.

She never hurt anyone. Her chocolate eyes and golden hair made her so different from every person in the Court of Nightmares. She was to be married off for her power and she raged against it. He may be heartless and soulless but he wouldn’t accept it, he refused to let her be sold like cattle. He bought her, let her think that he wanted her in the worst possible way and let her stay in his rooms.

She hated him, called him a devil and soulless. It didn’t bother him in the least. He knew what he was and he honed it to a lethal blade. But then she saw the scars twisting around him and his wings. Training, was what his mother had called it. She tortured him so he became impervious to all forms of hell. She taught him how to wield a blade and how to make his victim spill every last secret. Turns out, he was very, very good at it.

Tania started to slowly talk to him and for once in his miserable life he started to talk back. He told her about his life and what his family was like. He told her things he told no one and if he were to be honest, it scared the hell out of him; How easy it was to talk to her. She didn’t judge him on how many people he had killed or how many wings he had ruined.

Then his mother, the chief interrogator for the Court of Nightmares, she found about their friendship and she offered Tania a deal; either prove to her that she was worthy of her son or die for it. He knew about her life, he knew she didn’t fear death. But he did. He feared for the first time since he was a child that his mother would take her from him.

Tania let his mother torture her to prove that she couldn’t be broken and he let his mother do it. What could he have done otherwise? Tania could be a weapon used against him if she were weak and she proved over and over again to both his mother and to him that she was unbreakable. She cried but she never once screamed. Seven days of hell and his mother deemed her worthy and welcomed her into their family.

They were, by law, married. And he found that he didn’t mind. She wasn’t annoying, in fact she has a wicked sense of humor that surprised the hell out of him. She was kind despite living through the Hell that she did. He found that he fell for her and she for him. And when they were finally together, he realized that he was in love with her. She kissed his scars and she took away his nightmares. But he never once told her that he loved her. She had told him but not he to her. Perhaps that was why he had to get away from Mazakynn; they were the same person.

But then he had to leave the Court to prepare for the Blood Rite. He left her there and promised he’d return to her. He almost said it but decided against it. But when he returned to her, fully prepared to tell her, she was mutilated in more ways than one; Her golden hair was matted down with blood and those eyes that he loved were frozen wide and unseeing.

He knew the scent that was all over her body and he knew where he would find the bastard who took her. He decided to enter the Blood Rite with no plan to leave it alive. He was going to rip apart every person to get to the cockroach and he was going to make it as painful as possible and he would enjoy every last second of it.

But then of course, he wasn’t in the mountain and he went feral with the rage of it. He found Mazakynn who looked so much like her brother and he was going to kill her. He didn’t see an innocent female who was trying to stay alive. He saw Malyus, the male who killed his Tania and he raged and went after her. But luckily for him, Mazakynn almost killed him to bring out his humanity. He almost told her to kill him but the only thing that kept him from uttering the words was that not only did Malyus kill Tania, he tried to kill his own flesh and blood and he found that Malyus was going to die by his hand before he got himself killed.

A guttural scream echoed off the walls and he knew those screams. Not only did they belong to Adrien but they told their own story, his wings were being shredded. He wasn’t sure why he cared at all. The male annoyed him. He may be a better Shadowsinger than he but Adrien was a complete idiot who trusted to easily. It was his own stupidity that got himself captured in the first place. He would have killed the male the second he saw him.

He rolled his shoulders and strolled into the cavern, taking the throats out of each male he came across. Body after body fell to the ground and he didn’t care. Adrien hung in ribbons, his black hair stuck to him, matted with blood and sweat and tears stained his face. But surprisingly, he was still conscious despite the damage done to his wings and his arms and legs. He just rose his brows and turned to the male, Ezekiel, they called him. “I’d say you did a good job but unfortunately your work is sloppy and mediocre. You wouldn’t last a day with my mother.”

Ezekiel paled at him, no doubt listing all the stories about himself. He just grinned. “See, people are on their way to kill you and unfortunately, for  _you_ , I just happen to be on their side. For now at least. So I’m going to kill you and take Adrien so his girlfriend will get a grip and stop crying.”

“You hate Adrien too, why would you save him?”

He rolled his eyes, “He has his use. But you don’t, so now you get to die.” He descended on the male and Ezekiel stumbled backwards. The lingering feral part of him grinned at the male scurrying away from him.

He had the male by his throat and Ezekiel squirmed against the ironclad grip. How pathetic. He sighed and with a snap, he broke the male’s neck, letting him crumble to the ground. “That was boring.”

“ _Adrien_!”

He turned to see Maze on the floor, her hands holding up Adrien’s head. “Maze. You came. I knew you would.”

Somewhere in his heart he felt his grief stir and suddenly it was Tania flashed before him, unseeing and broken. He blocked it out and strolled over, undoing his restraints. “Let’s get him out of here.”


	25. Blood of Passage: Part Ten

She sighed and entered her rooms and froze at the  golden haired female waited for her with a kind smile on her face. Her warm brown eyes…they were Blakes. “I’m Morrigan. But you can call me Mor.”  His mother.

She crossed her arms, covering up the bruises on the inside of her bicep. “Is it a blood thing or a blond thing; barging in my rooms when I’m alone? What do you  _want_?”

“I have a letter for you from my son,” Mor said. “I suggest you read it before throwing it into the fire.”

She rolled her eyes, “I have seen your son twice; Both times were annoying.” But she still couldn’t get him out of her head. “What’s in the letter?”

Mor shrugged, “It’s not my business.”

“But you know what’s in it, don’t you?”

“I like you,” Mor smiled. ‘And yes. I do.”

She kept her arms crossed, “Set it on the table and I’ll read it later.”

Mor narrowed her eyes, “Are you going to tell me why you won’t uncross your arms?”

“No.”

“You’re covering up a bruise, aren’t you? Did your father do it?”

She uncrossed her arms, “No; it was a training exercise.”

“I know more about hiding bruises than you realize, Aurora. Especially bruises that look like fingerprints.”

“You can’t tell anyone. Especially your son.” She didn’t know why his opinion about anything mattered to her. “You can _not_  tell  _Blake_.”

Mor pursed her lips, “On one condition.”

“ _What_?”

“You read the entire letter and try to not kill my son for being an idiot.”

She snorted, “No promises. But fine.”

She took the letter from Mor. The wax was golden and the paper smelled vaguely of freshly cut grass and morning dew; of Blake. She looked up, “Thank-” She was gone. “Figures,” she muttered. “Well, a promise is a promise.” She opened the letter.

* * *

Blake tied back his hair, getting the loose strands and blood and sweat out of his face. A pool of dread weighed in his stomach; if it was about his brothers or Aurora or Maze- he didn’t know. All he did know was his brother was taken by a sociopath, that his mate was trapped with an abusive father and that  Maze left to find her mate with one of the most dangerous males he had ever encountered.

“Do either of your shadows know anything?” Bay asked quietly. “Could you reach out to either Adrien’s or Cyrian’s shadows?”

His shadows did pick something up. They picked up turmoil and pain all throughout the mountain. THey picked up death and blood and gore. He stopped. And Adrien. “He’s hurt. Badly. Were going to have to carry him out.”

Bay turned to Tarus, his eyes were hard and unyielding. “Could you heal Adrien? How far does your healing blood go?”

Tarus didn’t flinch under Bay’s look. “My blood could heal his wounds but if his wings are damaged, the best my blood will do for those is keep away infection. They must heal on their own, Baylor.”

“Do  _not_ call me Baylor; It’s Bay.” Nate grinned, no doubt thinking about how he was the only one who Bay let call him that. Bay ran a hand through his hair, “Are you sure you can’t help him? There has to be something. You don’t know Adrien like we do. He would sooner die than go without his wings.”

“I can heal his wounds, just not his wings. They need to heal naturally or else it could do more bad than good. If anything, you would need my sister or the High Lord of the Dawn Court; they had training that I was not allowed to learn in the Camps.”

Blake sighed, “We’ll deal with it after we survive the next two days. With people trying to kill us and with how hurt Adrien is, we need to prevent infection and keep him alive and get out of here as fast as we can.”

“If Maze and the others get to Adrien, they’re going to take him to a source of water. His wounds would be prone to infection from the debris around him.” Bay crossed his arms, “There are two water sources in the mountain. The ravines that vein through the mountain and meet up towards the exits. Warriors are going to be flocked to the water to stay hydrated.”

Blake sighed, “We need to split up.  _Again_.”

* * *

She was going to kill him. How dare he tell her they were mates through a letter. A  _LETTER_.  She was going to wring his blond head until his brain was a puddle then she was going to kick his ass. She almost screamed. Blake that stupid bastard.

A soft knock came at the door and she whirled around, the letter behind her back, “ _What_?!”

Puella nudged through the door, her eyes wide.

“Oh! Puella. I’m sorry, I just-  _ugh_. I need to process some things.”

Her maid smiled.  _You want to talk about it?_

She shook her head, “I don’t think you want to know.”

 _I won’t tell anyone, Aroda. What’s wrong?_ Her mother’s name for her in her native language. 

She almost didn’t tell her. But Puella had been there since her mother had died. Her tongue was taken from her for sticking up for her against her father. “You know that blond Shadowsinger? Blake?”

She nodded.  _Yes_.

She laughed harshly, “He told me something through a letter. Something that is so important. ‘I’m going to the Blood Rite and I just wanted you to know in case I died.’.. Who does that?! If he actually survives the Blood Rite I am going to kill him!” She collapsed onto her bed. “I need a nap.”

Puella sat next to her on her bed, brushing back her hair. A mischievous smile on her lips. Aurora snorted, “No, I don’t like him.” Her maid cocked an eyebrow showing she very much did not believe her. “Take that back. I do not have a type.” She shook her head, kissing her forehead. She sat up on her elbows, meeting her maid’s eyes, “He is cocky and arrogant and an overall pain in my ass.” And he was her mate. “Cancel my training for the rest of the afternoon. I am taking a long, long nap.”

* * *

The pain shot through his limbs and into his wings and he almost, almost fell unconscious. Maze was hazy, the amber slashes in her eyes bright with anger. He tried to grin at her, “I stayed alive.” It came out slurred.

Her face broke apart, “I know you did. I know you did, Adrien. I am so sorry. For everything.” 

The restaints on his arms were taken off, he would have collapsed if it weren’t for Zev and Cyrian holding him up. Wait. “Why is Cyrian helping me?”

Cyrian grunted, “Careful, Adrien. You might lose a few brain cells trying to figure it out.”  _Prick_.

“Can you help heal him? Like you did me?”

“No, that was different. Besides it’s against the rules to use magic.”

“Please, Cyrian! For once in your life do something that benefits someone besides yourself! What would Tania say?”

“Do  _not_ use Tania against me,” Cyrian growled. 

“You are such a  _dick_. I can’t believe we are friends.”

“I  _never_ said I was your-”

“Shut it, both of you!” Zev growled, “We need to get to a stream before his wounds get infected. His rapid healing will help him anyways. But we need to clean the wounds,  _first_.”

“There’s going to be a lot of Illyrians. It’s a good thing were the best,” Cyrian smirked. He was in too much pain to roll his eyes.

He fought the darkness barreling at him. He made Mazakynn a promise. He would stay alive. But the pain shooting through his wings…he couldn’t lose his wings. He just  _couldn’t_.


	26. Blood of Passage: Part Eleven

She ducked low, stabbing the male in his side; a torrent of blood spilled over her fingers, so thick it was near black. The male dropped and she struck high as the next male came at her, right in his throat. He collapsed, clawing at his throat, gasping for breath that would not come.

She spun, kicking the next male square in the chest, hard enough she could hear ribs crack beneath her foot. Male after male went down and she refused to feel guilt over it, not when they could have just left them alone.

Fists connected to throats, vertebrae crunching under her knuckles. They collapsed to their knees, choking for air and were conscious until her knee connected with their faces.

Male after male froze in their places and she stared each one down, “Leave us alone and we’ll leave you alone. If not, you’ll end up just like the others.” Conflicting emotions rose in their faces, battling their instincts to take her out as a threat.  _Do it_ , she thought.  _And you die_.

They walked away and the bloodlust began to fade in her body. “Bring him over here.” She knelt down, cleaning the blood from her hands and ripped strip after strip of fabric from fallen males’ shirts.

Cyrian and Zev stood over them, guarding them as she moved the hair from in front of his eyes, the hazel was filled with such agony and bone deep fear, her heart clenched. His pupils were wide in response to the pain and his breathing shallow but he was stable; his Illyrian healing knitting over his wounds. She dipped the straps into the water before wiping the blood from his skin. She tried to block out the feel of his blood, the feeling that her hands would be stained forever.

He hissed at the contact of the cold water. “ _Maze_ -”

“Shush, don’t speak.” She cleaned wound after wound. They were closing too fast; the debris were getting healed over and- “Adrien, I have to open some of these to clean them.”

“Just do it,” he groaned.

* * *

A numbness rolled through his veins, the rush of feeling Nate gave him started to ebb away; His need to find and protect Adrien from threats, and Nate, were the only things that fought his instinct to isolate himself; a feeling he had grown accustomed to his entire life.

Males surrounded them; at least twenty of them. Unsurprising, considering they were near a water source. Adrenaline rushed through him, burning away his Depression. Beside him, Nate grinned.“I told you I’d need you to protect me, Baylor.”

He rolled his eyes, fixing a look on the largest male; he stood several inches taller and wider than him; almost dwarfing him and Nate both. “No one has to die, Karis. Leave us alone and we’ll let you live.”  
  
“Big words,” Karis crossed his arms, grinning. “Considering you are outnumbered  _and_ weaponless.”

“We both know I could beat you without one.” Bay crossed his arms, “The Commander has trained me since I was eight. Personally.”

“ _Special treatment_ ,” Karis snarled. “Everyone  _knows_ that you’d be ranked at the bottom without Cassian there to give you an advantage. You don’t deserve your rank.”.

Bay hesitated, his words sinking in deeply, rattling his confidence. Nate glanced at him before turning his dark eyes on Karis. “You’re just pissed that Baylor can kick your ass.”

The male smirked, “Sticking up for your boyfriend, Nate? I’m  _shocked_.”

Bay ignored the taunt; his burning ears betraying him; Karis’s grin grew. ‘What do you say, Karis? One on one? If you kill me, you can finally prove that you are, in fact, better than me. After all, Cassian isn’t here to give me the advantage.”

Nate frowned. He ignored it, his eyes on Karis. The male laughed, “I’ll enjoy killing you, Baylor.”

“You go after Adrien and I’ll meet up with you,” Bay said.

 Nate glared at Karis, “I’m not leaving you with this ugly-ass waste of space.”

Bay forced Nate to look at him; His eyes were black; the brown engulfed by his pupils. “Yes you are. Adrien is your brother. He needs you.”

“Baylor-”

Karis crooned, “Trouble in paradise?”.

“ _Go_ ,” he ordered Nate. “I will force you.”  
  
Nate rose a brow. he could almost see the challenge in them but instead he said, “I don’t want to leave you. He doesn’t fight fairly.”

He almost kissed him, his hesitancy noticed by every male; snickers filled the cavernous space. Fuck this; they already knew and he was planning on coming out anyways. He summoned his courage and brought Nate’s lips to his, a sound of surprise escaped Nate; Whistles sounded. He parted from him. “ _Please_.”

“I fucking knew it,” Karis said. “You  _are_ a faggot.”

On instinct, he held Nate back from attacking the male. He was used to name calling. He was also used to ignoring it; Nate just broke the person’s face. This was his fight; Karis was his kill.

“I’ll meet up with you after I shatter every bone in his body,” Bay promised.

Nate’s eyebrows were almost to his hairline; he was fighting a grin despite his eyes filled with a burning hatred for the male. “You better.”

Bay turned to Karis, Nate’s steps disappearing behind him. He loosed his shoulders. “You’re going to die, you homophobic piece of shit.”

* * *

His fist connected with a throat; the male doubled over coughing blood. “Need help, Tarus?” He ducked, a fist cut in the air, narrowly missing his jaw. His elbow connected to the male’s throat.

Tarus spun, his weapon sinking into a male’s eye. “Nope.” He retracted his weapon, jamming it in the throat of another male. “You sure  _you_ don’t need mine?”

Blake snorted, his knee connecting with a male’s groin. A pang of guilt hit him; he ignored it. As the male doubled over his knee hit the male square in the nose; a satisfying crush of the cartilage filled his ears.

He looked around, that was the last of them. “They weren’t even  _trying_.”

Tarus snorted, “You are not a very humble person.”

“What gave it away?” Blake retied his hair back, catching the loose strands from in front of his face. “When you got the best of the best teaching you, you can afford to be a little arrogant. Especially when you can back it up.”

“You ever consider cutting your hair? It would be easier to fight.”

Blake rose his brows, “I think the fuck  _not_.” His shadows picked up Adrien again, his brother was alive and stable, for now. “Let’s go, I pinpointed Adrien.”

* * *

It was his own fault. He should never had let Ezekiel near them. He was blinded by his own guilt and gave the male a benefit of the doubt despite sensing the betrayal from a mile off; But now his fear of losing his wings near paralyzed him all because he didn’t kill the male the first chance he got. He will never make that mistake again.

The cool water was keeping him conscious despite his mind wanting to shut down from the pain. His healing blood working against him, forcing Maze to reopen the wounds just so she could clean them properly.

Her dark eyes were vivid with worry and barely restrained anger. It was his own stupidity that put those emotions there. “I’m sorry,” He groaned, trying to not wince at the cut she was making.

She snapped her head up at him, “What could you  _possibly_ have to be sorry for?”

Cyrian. Ezekiel. Her hands covered with his blood. “Everything.”

Cyrian snorted behind him. He ignored him, his eyes focused on Maze, her outline fuzzy from trying to stay conscious. He held back a wince as she cut open the wound on his abdomen; it cut from his sternum, down his chest and around his side. It was deep enough he knew it would scar. A reminder of what happened when you gave someone the benefit of the doubt; From being kind.

A torrent of blood spilled over her fingers, so thick it was almost black. A dizziness filled his head, trying to pull him into the darkness.

“Count her freckles.”

He made himself look at Zevakyn; the male’s dark eyes were soft and kind, not something he usually saw in an Illyrian. The war camps, especially the brutal ones, take away a male’s softness and kindness and turn it into a blade ready to kill. Kindness got you killed, just like he almost did.

“Count her freckles,” Zevakyn said, motioning to Maze. “It’ll keep you awake.”

He turned back to her, wincing at the pain slicing through his neck. Her eyes were trained on his wound, her lashes so dark and thick they casted shadows over her cheekbones. Her freckles splayed across her cheeks and over her nose. They were what drew him to her in the first place.

One..Two…

* * *

Despite it being nearly ten minutes later, Nate could still feel Baylor’s lips on his. When he kissed him in front of all those males it surprised the starlight out of him. He knew nearly everything about Baylor; Where he went when he was depressed and isolated himself; what he did when he was manic and nearly got himself killed. Why he climbed trees when he could just fly up the branches still puzzled him.

But Baylor,  _Baylor_ , kissed  _him_ in front of nearly thirty people. He who wasn’t outwardly affectionate with anyone in public, who was so serious about his training and everything he did… When he wanted to make a statement he surely knew how to make one that everyone would remember. He didn’t just come out he barrelled his way out.

The cheering from the males still echoed off the walls. Anxiety jumped through him and he wanted to go back to help or at least cheer; but Baylor was right. He needed to get to Adrien.

He wasn’t worried about Baylor dying...well maybe a little bit. Baylor was second ranked for a reason and it wasn’t because Cassian raised him. He knew that Baylor wanted to be a high ranking officer, just as Cassian was. His ear twitched; picking up crunching and cheering followed by pure silence.

He forced himself to continue forward towards the ravine, an eye on each male he crossed paths with. He was ninety percent sure that Adrien was at the other water source but they needed to be sure. His shadows picked up the fighting as he kept moving. He was fighting a grin; Baylor was kicking Karis’ ass. He was going to kill him too. Baylor gave him a chance to walk away and the stupid fuck didn’t take it.

He pulled his hair back, getting his hair out of his face before he drank from the ravine. The water was cold enough he could feel it shock its way down his throat. He drunk deeply before continuing forward.

Thank the Cauldron the males were leaving him alone. There faces were gaunt, some of their eyes haunted or hardened by their brutal fighting. He kept loose, just incase someone got an idea to attack.

A few of the males started shifting glances between each other and him. He stiffened, his instincts already preparing to fight his way out. “If we’re going to fight, I suggest we get it over with.”

His shadows picked up someone behind him. He turned, wringing his hands. A male barreled at him and he sidestepped, pulling the male by his collar into the ravine. Two other males reached for him and he used their weight against them, pushing one male into the other, the impact had them into the ravine right along with the first one.“ _Anyone else_?!”


	27. Blood of Passage: Part Twelve

She could feel Adrien’s eyes on her, his lips mouthing numbers, counting each freckle she had. She kept her focus on the wound rounding his side. It was so deep, nearly to his ribs. He sucked in a breath as she ran the water through it one last time. “What number are you at?” Distract him from the pain.

She looked up at him, some of the pain starting to ebb away from his eyes, the tawny color starting to return back to his features. There was still that bone deep fear for his wings.“twenty-three. There’s a total of sixty-four. On your face at least.”

She rose a brow, “Do you make it a habit of counting everything?”

A glimmer cut through the pain in his hazel-gold eyes. “Just your freckles.”

She scrunched up her nose, “That’s so sappy.” Adrien’s lips twitched.

Cyrian snorted behind them, “You are so  _whipped_ , Adrien. It’s pathetic.”

Zev nudged him, “Don’t be a dick.”

Cyrian glared at him, “if you do that again I’m taking off your arm. Then your head.”

Zev rose his brows, holding up his hands, “Sorry.”

“You boys are stupid.” She finished the bandaging. “Try not to undo my work.”

Cyrian rolled his own eyes, “People are coming. Two of them.”

Adrien struggled, trying to sit further up. “Don’t  _move_ ,” she snapped. “You’ll rip open your wound again. You need to heal.”

He glared at her, “It’s Blake and that Tarus male.”

She stiffened. “The Dawn Court male?” His blood, it could save Adrien’s wings.

“Yes.” he tried to straighten again.

“Damn it, Adrien. I told you to not move!” She stood. “I’m going to go find them.” She turned to Zev. “Make sure he doesn’t move.” She looked back down at Adrien. “Don’t make me kick your ass for ruining my bandages. It wouldn’t be a fair fight.”

“Zevakyn isn’t my keeper,” Adrien muttered. “I’m coming with you.”

Zev lowered down to his haunches, meeting his eyes. “I suggest you do what the lady said, Adrien.”

Her boyfriend glared at him; she rolled her eyes. “If your idiocy is coming back, you  _must_ be healing.” She looked at Cyrian, his face impassive. “Keep guard. I’ll be back.”

He rose a brow, “Are  _you_ giving  _me_ orders?”

She rolled her eyes and walked away. She knew he’d do it. “I’ll be back.”

* * *

Zevakyn kept Adrien from moving any further. “You’ll open your wounds. Stay still until she gets back.” He could hear her footsteps getting quieter and quieter. His heart flipped. Harboring feelings for Mazakynn stressed him out.

Adrien tried getting back up, pain sliced through his face. “I need to follow her to make sure she stays okay.”

“You are in no shape to fight, Friend.” He warned, “I will  _force_ you to stay down.”

Adrien bared his teeth, “I’d like to see you try.”

“A five year old could kick your ass, Ade.” Cyrian said lightly, “But if you want to get yourself killed or completely ruin your wings, we won’t stop you,”

He sighed, “ _I’ll_ stop you.” He glared at the male, “You are  _not_ a good friend, Cyrian.”

Cyrian shrugged. “I don’t have friends.”

“No? Then what do you call you and Maze’s relationship?”

“Fuck buddies.”

Adrien growled, trying to get back up. “He was  _kidding_ , Adrien.” He wasn’t kidding and an unwelcome pang of jealousy wormed its way through him. “Stay  _down_.” Adrien glared at him but stayed to the ground. “Focus on your breathing.” The wound at his side was deep enough, it had to hurt like hell.

Cyrian shrugged. “Was I?”

He glared at him. “You are not helping.”

“What gave it away?” Cyrian smiled down at Adrien. “If it helps it happened when you weren’t together.” he shrugged.Zev sighed, his eyes cast heavenward. Cyrian continued, “You know that thing she does with her teeth?” He smirked, “She learned that from me.”

World ending fury contorted in Adrien’s face and Zev was on top of him, holding him down; careful of his wings and wounds. “Adrien, you are going to destroy your wings beyond use. You need to wait until Tarus gets here to heal your wings before you kill him. You will die in the progress otherwise.”

Adrien growled beneath him and Zev held him down. If he wasn’t larger than him and Adrien was fully healed...he’d be dead. Very, very dead. 

He grunted, “Think. About.  _Your wings_.”

* * *

He stiffened beneath Zevakyn. His wings. Would he be an Illyrian without them? Would he even be a  _male_ without them? He let loose a breath, trying to calm himself down. Tarus would heal his wings. They’ll be okay and then he could kill Cyrian for talking about Maze like that. All he needed was Tarus to heal them and everything will be okay.

Cyrian quirked a brow. “Right now, you’re wishing you were on top of Maze and not her idiot boyfriend, don’t you, Zevakyn?”

He tried to not react, he knew about Zev’s feelings for his girlfriend. He was a Shadowsinger after all, one of the best. It didn’t help his case with the smiles that he gave Maze but he knew that Zev wouldn’t make a move. One couldn’t help their own feelings. Still, that primal part of him that told him that Maze was his tried to worm its way through his brain. HIs own instincts irritated the fuck out of him.

Zevakyn glared up at the male, his voice a warning. “Shut  _up_ , Cyrian.”

“‘Shut up Cyrian.’” he mocked. “Got any other sage words of advice? Perhaps some pointers on how to deal with being in love with your best friend's girl?”

 _He’s baiting you, Adrien_ , he thought.  _Think about your wings_.

“I know that you are angry and in grief over Tania, Cyrian. But if you don't stop, I will kill you before Adrien gets the chance.” Adrien glared up at Zevakyn, trying to get out from beneath him. If  _anyone_ was killing that prick, it was him.

“Say her name again and I will take your head off your shoulders.” He smirked, “Big words though, think you can back them up?”

Shadows formed over Zevakyn’s face. His voice was almost a whisper. “You hear about the warrior who got thrown out of his camp for slaughtering five males because killed his female? The male that can no longer step foot in that camp without forfeiting his life because one of the males he killed was the camp lord’s son? That was me, Cyrian Inferos. I will make that look like  _child's play if you don't shut up_.”

Blood drained from Adrien’s face. He knew that story. A warrior found his girl dead in the woods surrounding the camp and he snapped, brutally killing each male who touched her. And one of those males was the camp lord’s son.  A viciously cruel male who made Cyrian look kind. He just didn’t realize that it was Zevakyn.

Zev got off him, his eyes giving him a firm warning to not get up; to not let his injuries get any worse. His wounds were still healing, a wrong move would rip them open. It was that fear that kept him on the ground, near defenseless, at Cyrian’s mercy. His own stupidity put him there. He would kill him without blinking.

Cyrian rose a brow, “ _You_? That was you? So much for being  _such_ a nice guy. You’re the most brutal of us all. Well, next to me that is. Congratulations.” Adrien rolled his eyes, trying to not wince at the pain in the back of his head.

“It’s not something to be proud of. I don’t enjoy killing people,” Zevakyn said quietly. “I would have been dead for killing the Camp Lord’s son but the High Lord and his mate took pity on me for why I did it. So he stripped my ranking and sent me to your camp.”

“What was your ranking?” He asked, “why go after your girl?”

“I was ranked higher than the Camp Lord’s son. He wanted me punished for being ranked first in that camp. He went after Chelia. She wasn’t a fighter, she wasn’t able to fly even. Her wings were clipped. She was unusually kind, always picking flowers, singing songs, bandaging my wounds and scolding me for being stupid.” Zev shook his head. “They took her from me so I took their lives.” Cyrian went quiet and the only sound that could be heard was that incessant dripping.

* * *

Karis’s near-feral grin welcomed cheering from the males; Bay wasn’t surprised when six other males began to surround him. After all, his ranking and as Cassian’s ward, they thought his death would win them glory. He leveled a look at Karis, “Can’t kill the faggot yourself?”

His ear twitched as a male attacked from behind. He kicked a male in front of him  square in the chest, the sound of cracked ribs filled the space; the male fell backwards. Kicking backwards the male behind him fell to the ground. He bent backwards, narrowly missing another male’s weapon. He ducked low, striking the male next to him in the gut. He righted himself as another male behind him came at him. His elbow met the male’s stomach.

As the male doubled over he wrapped his arm around the male’s neck flinging him over his shoulder into a male that was getting ready to strike him. Another male struck with a weapon, Bay bent backwards missing the weapon which would have ended in his throat. He stomped on the male’s foot, the male lurched forward, Bay’s knee crushed the male’s nose.

A fist landed on Bay’s cheek, blood welled. Bay swung forward, his own fist connecting to the male’s mouth, breaking a few teeth. The male staggered backwards. Bodies littered around him, leaving just him and Karis and the smart males who didn’t fight him. “Let’s get this over with, Karis. I need to find my friends.”

His reaction timing was slowed as he caught his breath. Karis launched himself at him. The male’s knee sent a wave of pain through his ribs. Bay fell back a few steps before he punched forward hitting Karis in the jaw. “You needed your lackeys to wear me down before you tried to kill me.” He shook his head, “That’s pathetic.”

“You had an unfair advantage with the Commander raising you.”

“And you had parents to go home to,” Bay said. “Cassian taught you as much as he taught me. I just took it more seriously than you did.”

Karis’ eyes hardened. “You  _lived_ with him.”

“He didn’t give me an advantage over anyone else. He wanted me to earn my rank as he did. And that’s what I did.” he punched Karis in the throat; He wheezed. “I  _earned_ my rank. Just as you earned your death.” he brought his knee up to Karis’ groin. The male stumbled backwards and Bay’s foot connected with his nose, breaking it hard enough he knew the cartilage would cause internal bleeding and rupture the brain. Karis crumbled to the ground, his eyes filled with pain, blood flowed from his nose and lips.

Karis coughed up blood so dark it was near black, “ _Please_.”

“You made my life  _hell_ since I was six years old. Stole my clothes, broke my bones, hurt my friends.” He tried to hurt Maze before she became a better fighter; Cornered him, before he bulked up enough to defend himself, and broke his arm, bruised his ribs, forcing him to have Ash heal him before Cassian found out.“Right now blood is swelling your brain as your healing tries to work in overdrive to save your hateful homophobic ass. You are basically dead already.” Better to put him out of his misery. He broke the male’s neck, Karis’ body went limp in his hands. Pure silence rang out.

He wiped the blood off him and looked at the few remaining males surrounding him. Their eyes were wide, faces were pale. A few of them had glares promising death. “Do I need to keep proving myself? Or have you realized that I earned my place?”

The males were quiet and he stared them each down, wiping the blood from his cheek, and went after Nate.

* * *

Blake stiffened, “Someone is coming.” he let loose a breath. “It’s just Maze.”

Tarus took in the small female. Her dark hair was matted down with blood and sweat, her the amber in her eyes were filled with an anger he knew all too well but they were also filled with fear and worry. “You’re from the Dawn Court, your blood isn’t magic, will you help Adrien. That’s why you’re with Blake right? To help him?”

He had a feeling that Mazakynn wasn’t prone to relying on others for help. “I know about his wings. I can’t heal those-” her eyes widened. “But I can keep the infection at bay until we get out of the mountain tomorrow. And I can close his wounds so he could walk. He’ll still be weak and in pain but he’ll live. As for his wings….I’m sorry.” He wasn’t like Aurora with pure healing blood. He has a half breed, his blood diluted due to his mixed heritage.

She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, he knew she was holding back tears. “Ezekiel got off too easy. Hopefully we can get back to Adrien before he and Cyrian try to kill each other.”

* * *

“Told you I’d be fine.”

Nate looked up, Baylor’s face was bleeding and he winced when he breathed but other than that, he appeared fine. The knot of anxiety started to unravel itself. He rose his brows. “Karis  _actually_ got a hit in? You are losing your touch.”

Baylor crossed his arms, “Six other males decided to join the fight.”

Uh huh. “ _I_ told  _you_ Karis fought dirty.”

Baylor snorted, “Well, he won’t be fighting dirty anymore. Neither will they.”

“Is it bad that I find that attractive?”

Baylor rose his brows, his ears turned red. “I-”

He shook his head, “Rendered speechless and I didn’t even have to try.”  

Baylor glared at him, clearing his throat. “Any sign of Adrien? What do your shadows say?”

Nate shook his head, “He’s nowhere near here. Blake and Tarus are closing in on him. We should be able to meet up with them in a few hours and get out of here together.”

“Right on time.”

Nate sighed, “Thank the Cauldron. Right now I’d kill for a decent meal. And for my wings to be free. But really, I’ve been tasting apples in my mouth for the past two days. I need to  _eat_.”

They continued down the corridor, stepping over bodies.

“Are you ever not eating?”

“Sure,” Nate said. “When I’m with cute boys with messy hair and glasses. And freckles, I love freckles.  _Almost_ as much as I enjoy food.”

Baylor snorted, “Come on. We need to get you food before your stomach starts feeding on your brain. Then you’ll be as useless as you are pretty.”

Nate tipped his head back and laughed, “you’re so cute when you’re nice to me.”

He laughed despite the redness in his ears, “And when I’m  _not_ nice?”

“Considering that’s all the time,” He wrapped his arm around Baylor’s shoulder, “Hot as fuck.”


	28. Blood of Passage: Part Thirteen

He supposed being blind, magically that is, had its perks. He could hear the High Lord’s heart beat, could tell what his blood pressure was. He was ill. Interesting that it wasn’t in his scent. Thesan was also nervous about having him and his father and Dacia in his court. He could feel Aurora’s annoyance for him being back in her court after the  _Bellum Armis_. 

“Looking as great as usual, Aurora.” He grinned. “Lovely shade of bitter you got on. Does it come in green to match my eyes?”

“You can’t see me,” she said flatly. “ _Why_ are you back here?”

“These aren’t just our guests, Daughter. This is your soon to be  _husband_ you are insulting. I suggest you adopt a better tone with him.”

Her pulse quickened, her blood pressure heightened from anger. “Of course, Father.” he could feel her eyes on him. “I apologize Ash. I have been in a foul mood as of late. I hope you can forgive my rudeness.”

He snorted. “ _Quite_ forgiven, Aurora. Perhaps you should get yourself laid to bring out a better mood.” Her blood pressure spiked. He wondered if she was thinking about decapitating him with the twin swords she carried.

A smack hit the back of his head. “Don’t be a dickhead, Ash.” He rubbed the spot his sister hit, glaring at the same time.

“Are you offering?” Aurora’s voice was venom laced honey. “I don’t think you would know your way around a female body if one came up and stripped naked right in front of you. Although since we are to be married I suppose I would have to teach you.”

“I know  _plenty_ -”.

“ _Aurora_.” her father growled.

His own father cleared his throat. Ash could feel the amusement he was hiding.  “Seeing as how my son and the Lady Aurora are to be married, High Lady Dacia, my mate and I feel it would be best for the her to spend a week each month at our courts to learn our customs and laws. And to get to know Ash better, of course.”

Tolerating Aurora for two weeks every month, Cauldron he dreaded the thought. He supposed he would have to spend more time at the war camps with Bay.

“One week per court?” The High Lord of the Dawn Court mused, “Will the young lord be spending time here as well?” Learn our customs and laws? It would only be fair.”

More like stage an accident that would end up with him dead. “He’ll have an escort, same as the Lady Aurora,” his sister said smoothly. The only betrayal of her emotion was the pounding of her heart, the forced calmness of her breath. “If she so wishes it.” He reigned in a groan.

* * *

“No,” Aurora said.

“ _No_?” Her father said.

“I’ll teach him about our ways when I am at his court. He could easily get himself killed with his...shortcomings...and our borders. It would be safest for everyone if I taught him our ways while I was in the Aututmn and Spring Courts.”

Ash glared at her, her father’s eyes were ice on her back and she blocked out the dread for the beating she knew would come for speaking out of turn. She didn’t care. Ash was her mate’s cousin and she would be damned if his blood was spilled because of her family. Even if he was an incompetent idiot who only cared about himself.

“When do you suggest these visits start?” Her father’s tone was clipped.

“Today,” she said. She turned her eyes to High Lady Dacia. Her eyes were a cool green, a hidden warmth to them. “Do you agree?”

“The arrangements have already been made. So, yes as soon as you are ready, Lady.”

Perfect, perhaps she could persuade Dacia to take her to the end of the Blood Rite, after all she was friends with that blond bastard who happened to be her mate. She could confront him.

Her fathers clipped voice was ice, “We are in agreement. I do hope you learn much, Aurora.” A chill went down her spine at the double meaning of the words. Knowing her father, he will want her to spy on them. She bristled. She was Lady of the Dawn Court, not some spy.

She smiled at her father, “Of course. I look forward to leanring much and to spend time with Ash.” The red haired lord snorted and it was an effort to not roll her eyes.

Dacia took her hand, “Let’s go.”

* * *

He knelt before Adrien, surveying his wounds and face. The gold undertone in his hazel eyes were heightened from the dark circles underneath his eyes and from the pain he was in, his hair was darker than night, matted with sweat and blood, his face gaunt from the lack of food. He supposed with a bath and some nourishment, the male would be very handsome. He was trying to hide the amount of pain he was in and judging by just how bad his wings were, it was a very large amount.

The male’s eyes were hopeful, almost filled with relief. “You can heal them, right? You have the blood of the Dawn Court High Lord.  _Tell me_  you can heal my wings.” The males throat bobbed.

“Your wings are much worse than I thought. I knew they were torn but they’re shredded, almost beyond use.” The hope in Adrien’s eyes shut down. “I can help your wounds so you can at least walk on your own, and perhaps keep the infection at bay at least until we get out of here tomorrow. But, I don’t think even the High Lord’s blood could fix these. There is still hope, however slim, Adrien, if they heal on thier own.”

“You can’t heal them?”

“I’m sorry.”

Tarus bit into his wrist, his canines tore open his skin. He felt his brown-gold blood start to well. “Here, this will help you walk.”

Adrien hesitated, ready to protest against it, but the female Mazayknn leaned down, meeting his eyes. Her voice was a whisper, meant just for Adrien to hear. “You do not get to give up. You  _promised_ me you would stay alive and I will keep you to that promise.”

After a heartbeat, Adrien sighed, “Yeah, I did.” Adrien brought his wrist to his mouth, his chapped lips brushed his skin, sending a shiver up his arm. He swallowed twice, the tawny color almost returning to his skin, the circles under his eyes lighter, his wounds nearly completely healed, the only two remaining was the wicked scar that stretched around the curve of his side, and the small one over his left eyelid. He’d wager it had been there for many years.

Blake crossed his arms, surveying his brother. “How’s the pain?”

Adrien grunted, “Manageable.”

Blake looked to him, “What do you think?  Will he be alright?”

He rose his brows. “You want my opinion?”

“Well?”

“I am right here,” Adrien said flatly. “Do you want  _my_ opinion?”

Blake ignored his brother. Tarus surveyed Adrien’s wings, his torso, legs. “With his wings being as damaged as they are and exposed, they’re prone to infection. Sudden or jerky movements will cause more damage than good. If he fights too much it could further the damage. But wings are durable. He should be able to still fight, if he’s careful. But I would suggest he not fight at all.”

Blake nodded his head and turned to Adrien. His face yielded nothing beyond brutal efficiency.  “You will not fight. You will stay in between us. You will ignore whatever comes out of Cyrian’s mouth or so help me when we get out of here I’ll make sure you do more training exercises than Bay did as soon as you are healed. Are we clear, Adrien?”

“Just because Cassian is grooming you for a higher rank doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.”

“That is  _precisely_ why I can tell you what to do.” There was no arrogance in his voice, just fact. He turned to Cyrian, “The only thing I want out of your mouth is helpfulness. Do not bait Adrien with your commentary or I will have the Commander inform your father of your idiocy, understood?”

The male’s brows flattened, “You think you can get me to do what you want with idle  _threats_?”

Blake stood toe to toe with Cyrian; neither yielded to the other, their shadows swirled around them both; Angels of death ready to go to war. “I will not hesitate to kill you if you become a liability to my brother’s healing. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you either get over it or leave. Choose wisely.”

The female got between them, “Cyrian will play nice and Blake, just  _stop_. You aren’t Cassian’s second yet. You have  _centuries_ before that is even a reality.” They both ignored her, staring each other down; one golden the other darkness. “Cyrian.” Nothing. She pulled Cyrian away from Blake. “Do you  _really_ want to spend your time having a measuring contest with Blake when the longer you wait, the longer Malyus lives?”

A growl was low in Cyrian’s throat. “I’m gone.” Cyrian turned on his heel and departed through the darkness. Blake’s face was granite watching him go.

* * *

 _“Tania-”_ No _. Her blood was so dark, near black. It coated the bed, the floor, her body. Her unseeing chocolate eyes stared upwards. Not a single piece of clothing was on her mutilated body. The scent hit his nose and a growl was in his throat. Malyus. He was going to kill him._

_He matted down her hair, closing her eyes. Tears pricked the back of his eyes and that weakness enraged him further. He carefully wrapped her body in a blanket before turning to the woman at the door. His dark hair and ears. His mother._

_“Where the_ fuck  _were you?” His growl was so low and guttural he didn’t recognize his own words._

 _His mother’s face was brutal, her lips pursed, chin raised. “You do_ not  _speak to me like that.” A disapproving frown tugged at her lips. “Wipe those tears. I did not raise you to be so weak. Perhaps my training wasn’t effective enough.”_

 _“I will speak to you however the fuck I want. Where were you? You_ knew  _she was ill and that I would be gone. You gave me your word-”_

_He must be hallucinating. For a brief moment he thought he saw guilt flash across her face. “I was working. Your rooms had two of my best guards posted. It would appear whoever killed your wife also killed them.”_

_“He’s_ dead _,” Cyrian swore. “I will kill him and make him beg me for forgiveness until his throat is bleeding.”_

 _“_ Good _.”_

* * *

If he valued the promise he made to Tania, it was best to separate from the group. He couldn’t avenge her without a pulse and he wasn’t a fool. He knew Blake was ranked highest in the camps for a reason and it wasn’t because of his good looks. The male could kill him, it would almost kill himself in the process, but he could do it. He was four years younger but Blake was a prodigy of the battlefield, just as he was in the interrogation rooms.

* * *

“Maze  will follow behind, Tarus and Zevakyn to the sides and I lead, and you Adrien, will be in the center. We’ll be spaced out enough that we can each fight. And if someone makes it to the center, to you, then you can kill them. If you are in the middle, there is a less chance of you getting further hurt.”

Knowing his brother, he probably feels five inches tall, having to have others protect him when he has had the training to kill his opponents. “I don’t need you to coddle me, Blake. If I can stand, I can fight.” There wasn’t much fight in his brother’s voice.

“I’m not  _saying_ you couldn’t. But, I will not tell our parents that I let my little brother destroy himself to sate his ego.” The glare he was receiving from Adrien was cold enough to freeze the Summer Court. He turned to Maze, “Your bandaging is getting better seeing as how Adrien can still move.” She gave him a rude gesture. He flashed a grin at her. He flicked his eyes to Zevaykn and Tarus. “If you want to go off on your own, I understand. You didn’t ally yourself with us to become glorified body guards.”

Zev and Tarus exchanged looks. The former said, “We’re not going anywhere.”

Blake nodded, “Good, then the formation stands.”

* * *

His wings, his fault. It was his own fault that got two of the most precious things in the world ruined. His fault, his stupidity. He shouldn’t be allowed to complete the Blood Rite. He’d let a mask of arrogance and pride show before he admitted that he was close to breaking. At least Cyrian was a distraction.

Maze tied back her hair, her amber eyes filled with a lethal calm. “Bay and Nate will most likely meet up with us in a few hours.” Her eyes shifted to him. “Can you tell his location?”

Finally, he could be useful. His shadows reached out to find Nate. He and Bay were fighting with two males. Both appeared to be fine, minor injuries to both; wings still bound despite the binding covered in blood and dirt. “If we go south, it’ll be two hours tops before we reach them. I didn’t pick up any warriors besides the two that Nate and Bay are fighting. Unless you count Cyrian.”

With Zevakyn beside him and the fact that he was supposed to be one of his closest friends but hid such a huge secret from him, any trust he had for him went out the window. He would not make the same mistake twice.

His shadows told Blake what happened before he showed up and his brother turned his brutal eyes on Zevakyn. “I’m changing the formation.”

Zevakyn frowned. “Why?”

“I have my reasons. You lead, I’ll take your place by Adrien.” If Zevakyn lead, they could all keep an eye on him.

Hurt flashed in the male’s eyes but it shut down fast enough he almost thought he imagined it. “Okay.”

Blake handed him a weapon, “If you keep quiet, your shadows should keep you hidden. Try to not open your mouth.”

He just nodded, gripping his weapon.

Maze nodded, “Let’s go.”

* * *

Nate’s fist connected to the male’s nose, the cartilage breaking beneath his knuckles. The male snarled, grabbing his fist midswing. He ignored the fear of a broken wrist or fingers and brought his foot to the male’s chest hard enough the sound of cracked ribs filled his ears. He was an artist and he would be damned if his hands were ruined. The male let him go and fell backwards to the ground wheezing.

“Must you males keep attacking us? Cauldron, I know we’re better than you but are you so insecure that you must show your alpha male douchebaggery through jumping us?”

Baylor snorted behind him, “Apparently.”

He sighed. “Well, it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me to let the poor bastard suffer.” He brought himself down to his haunches, surveying the male. He was coughing up black blood, his ribs are puncturing his lungs then. He broke the male’s neck.

* * *

“You? A gentleman?” Bay had the male in a headlock, with a snap, he broke the male’s neck and let him fall to the ground. He sighed, “Is that the last of them?”

“It’s that kind of flattery, Baylor, that will get me into the bedroom.” Nate shot his head up, facing into the darkness. “Not quite. We got one more coming.”

“Friend or foe?”

Nate snorted, “I’m not sure about foe but definitely not a friend. It’s Cyrian.”

He sighed, “ _Lovely_.”

Cyrian came out of the shadows, his eyes a cool boredom. “Well look at that, Baylor and Nathaniel are finally together at last. Can we expect an announcement of your engagement? Should I expect an invitation to the wedding or am I not invited?”

Bay flattened his brows, “I don’t like you.”

“Is it because of Nathaniel and I’s history? If it makes you feel better, I’m sure I can fit you in my schedule. Would you prefer to fuck  _before_ or  _after_ I kill the Bastard Born Malyus?” His face burned. “Well?”

“Not on your life.” Bay said, his eyes turned to Nate, his eyebrows raised.

Nate winced, “It was just once. Not even once. Mostly oral.”

Bay snorted, “You don't have to defend your sex life to me. Who you've been with isn't my business.”

“How big of you, Baylor.” Cyrian smirked at Nate, “And you loved it.”

“Don't call him that.” Nate glared at him, “As riveting as the stroll down my sexual encounter list is, what are you doing here? I  _thought_ you were with Maze.”

He shrugged, “I was and now I’m not. They should be heading your way within the hour.”

“They get to Adrien?”

“Yes, your brother is being coddled by them all. It was annoying so I left on my own.”

“Well,” Nate said cheerfully. “We’d hate to keep you from slaughtering your way out of the mountain. We’ll be on our way.” He turned to Bay. “Let’s go.”

“I’d say it’s been a pleasure, Cyrian,” Bay said. “But I’d be lying.” Cyrian rolled his eyes and continued his way in the opposite direction.

It was nearly ten minutes of quiet before Nate said quietly, “Do you  _want_ it to be your business?”

Bay stepped over a body, “What?”

“My sex life. Do you want to know who all I’ve been with?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No,” He said firmly. “I suppose it only matters who you’re going to be with. The past is in the past.” Although he  _was_ shocked about Cyrian.

“What about you?”

“What about me what?” He paused. “Who I’ve been with?”

Nate shrugged, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Like you said, the past is in the past.”

That was a night he’d like to forget. “Once.”

Nate’s brows shot up, he nearly tripped. “So you  _have_ been with someone?”

Heat rose in his face as he winced, “Well, it was a week after I hit Kapriel. I started to realize that I was...gay… and I panicked.” He ran a hand over his face, “I had the bright idea that I could  _turn_ myself straight if I slept with a female. I had to get myself wasted in order to even have the nerve to touch her.” He admitted, “I don’t remember much about that encounter. If fact I’d like to forget what I do remember.” Considering all Illyrians liked to do was fuck and fight...he guessed he wasn’t much of one. He sighed.

“ _Stop_.”

“Stop what?”

“I know that face. How many you have or haven’t been with, or how many times, doesn’t make you any less incredible.”

He rose a brow, “‘Incredible’?  _Really_ , Nate?”

“You came out by kissing me in front of thirty males who more than likely will tell every male they come across.” He figured that would happen. “That was very brave, considering you would much rather be invisible. It makes you incredible.”

He snorted, the tension in his shoulders evaporating. “You should write greeting cards.”

Nate grinned, “How do you know I don’t already?”

“I do have  _one_ question though.”

“Shoot.”

“Does Adrien know you’ve been with his arch nemesis?”

“Cauldron, no. That would make family dinners so awkward.”


	29. Blood of Passage: Part Fourteen

_His body was slick with sweat, convulsing as his blood spilled down his throat into his chest. He was dying, he was dying he was dy-_

_The priestesses murmured prayers were drowned out from the whistling in his ears, the wet choking from his lips; the utter terror in his blood._

_“Stop fighting, Tarus.” The teal eyed priestess’s smile was meant to be a comfort. It wasn’t. “Deep even breaths. It’ll be over soon.”_

_His wrists chafed against the binds on his wrists, on his wings. “Stop,” he gasped. “Please_ stop _.”_

_“We’re helping you,” she said. “Your father just wants best for you. He wants to help you.”_

_That male wasn’t his father. He was someone who raised him out of love for his mother, not for him. White spots danced in front of his vision, lighting cracked against his fluttering eyelids, his voice was a whisper, “Stop.”_

_Darkness greeted him._

* * *

 

Adrien’s arm around his throat summoned brutal memories he tried to shut down. His tawny forearm brushing the cords of scars that wrapped around Tarus’s neck, bringing about images of golden brown blood and he forced himself to maintain calm, to not let years of shutting down memories be forsaken; to not attack Adrien.

Sweat was slick across Tarus’s forehead and the sound of his own choking filled his ears. He felt Adrien’s eyes on him, a piercing look that told him he wasn’t hiding much from the shadowsinger.

Adrien tried to remove his arm from his shoulder, he held him in place. He breathed deeply, evenly, and let it go. “You need support,” his voice was thick, a small tremble in it. “You’re still weak.”

“No,” he tried pulling himself off. “It’s causing you pain. Let me walk on my own. Or at least lean fully on on Blake.”

He could feel the attention starting to shift to him and his weakness. “”It’s fine.” He forced his voice into a lightness that his body betrayed. “I’m fine.”

“No, you are  _not_ fine.” Blake’s brutal eyes were on him, assessing his weakness. “Let Adrien lean on me.”

He shook his head, “No, then you’ll be too vulnerable against attacks.”

The male, Zevakyn, turned around, his dark eyes were distraught, a frown tugged at his lips. “Let me take his place. Maze is too short to be able to support him. Let me help.”

Adrien and Blake’s shadows mingled around each other, their eyes showing traces of communication between them. Adrien nodded and turned to Zevakyn. “Okay.”

As soon as Adrien’s arm was off him, his lungs started to work with him, the palms of his hands sweaty, rested on his knees, forcing air into his lungs. “ Do you need to take a break, gather your wits?” The female.

 _Yes_. “No, I’m fine.”

“Who did that to you?” Zevakyns voice was a razor blade of lethal calm. He looked up, meeting the male’s eyes, those dark spheres were merciless.

He shook his head, his hair sticking to his forehead, “Doesn’t matter.”

He felt the male reach down to his haunches, those dark eyes meeting his. Tarus kept his focus on the male’s eyes, distracting him from the memory that was pulling at him. The male’s voice was soothing. “That was then. This is now. You aren’t there, you’re  _safe_ , here with us.”

His lips twitched into a half smile, a bubble of laughter escaped him. “Safe is relative in the Blood Rite.” Zevakyn’s eyes lit up in surprise.

A crooked smile rested on the male’s lips, not quite reaching his eyes. “Can you continue?”

The knot of terror started to unravel in his stomach, the memories starting to fall back into the darkness of his mind. “Yes. I’m- I’m alright.” He straightened, looking between them all. “I apologize, I wasn’t expecting that to happen.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Mazakynn’s eyes were soft with understanding, “Happens to the best of us. Try to remember you got out. It helps me.”

He wondered what kinds of images trapped her, she seems like nothing could pierce her armor. “I’ll remember that.”

\-----------

She knew the look he had. Pure terror rested on his features, reliving some brutal memory. She had her own terrors when she closed her eyes. The brutality of her father and brother hit her with a force when she slept, locking her in cruel nightmares.

The days where the wrong touch or the wrong tone of voice triggered attacks. Those attacks she had, where only Adrien knew the worse of it. Him trying to pull her out of her own memories, but not knowing what they were.

She was a master of pretending she was okay, up until everything crashed down on her, bringing out her weakness in tremors and sweat and brutal memories.

She gave him a smile, “I hope so.”

Adrien’s eyes, always assessing, his shadows feeding him information about Tarus. His eyes were on the thick cord of scars at his neck, his lips were pursed. Knowing him, he was holding back information about Tarus. Whatever he was gleaming from him, he wasn’t happy. His eyes slid murderous. “He’ll get his, Tarus. I guarantee it.”

Tarus shook his head, “He thought he was doing what was best.”

“Doing what’s best? You have scars wrapped around your  _throat_ ,” Zevakyn snarled. Maze blinked. She had never heard that tone from him, the sheer primalness of it. “ _No one_  deserves that.”

Tarus stared at him, the male’s golden eyes were intense. “Maybe not, but the past is in the past.”

Zevaykn’s eyes were darker than she had ever seen, his hair falling over his eyes., “It doesn’t matter when it happened. It’s the fact that it happened at all.”

Blake’s eyes were darting between the two, his eyebrows narrowed in thought. “Zevakyn’s right. But right now, we need to get out of here. Can you continue, Tarus?”

Tarus’s eyes were trained on Zev. “Yes. Let’s go.”

\-------------

Zev took Adrien’s arm around his shoulder, taking part of his weight on to him. Tarus led and they followed. The sheer panic that were in the male’s eyes, trapped in some memory that he didn’t know.

Adriens arm was tense around his neck and he knew it was because he no longer trusted him. Keeping secrets, especially secrets such as killing five males as brutally as he did, he supposed he deserved Adrien’s ire. It made sense really. Trust is what got him nearly killed.

But the viciousness that came out of  _his_ own throat, when speaking to Tarus, he wasn’t expecting such a tone from himself. But those scars flashed the severed neck of Chelia in his mind and he forgot where he was. And that buried bloodlust rose to the surface, demanding the blood of the male who would do such a thing.

The blinding panic in Tarus’ eyes undid him in a way he wasn’t sure of. And he didn't even know the male. But he did know that he didn’t want to see that panic there again.

“Nate and Bay are around the corner,” Adrien said after awhile.

He didn’t doubt him. Adrien had a way of knowing where almost everything was, knew almost everything about everything. Perhaps not knowing about Chelia bit into his pride a bit.

Nate and Bay appeared and a knot loosened from his stomach. Bay was alright, the invisible weight from his shoulders had lightened, a light was in his eyes. Zev found himself smiling at the closeness between the two males.

\------------

Adrien straightened his head, glancing between Bay and his brother, his shadows were telling him such interesting things about the two. Nate frowned, “Are you alright?”

“Oh you know,” he forced lightness. “Just another day in the Blood Rite.”

Maze barrelled out from behind him, hugging Bay. She smacked the male’s chest. “You  _bastard_. The next time you decide to split apart from the group do me a favor and  _don’t_.”

He glared down at her, pausing at the scar on her face. “Who did that to you?”

She rolled her eyes, “No one you need to concern your pretty head with.”

Nate cocked his head, “It  _is_ pretty, isn’t it?”

Bay’s ears reddened and Blake choked on laughter, earning a glare from Bay and a lazy grin from Nate. Bay cleared his throat, turning to Adrien’s wings, his face pale. “Is he dead?”

Maze nodded, “Cyrian killed him.”

Nate’s eyebrows hit his hairline, “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? The same Cyrian who Adrien hates more than anything in this world?  _That_ Cyrian?”

Adrien glared at his brother, “Yes. That Cyrian.”

A low whistle came from his brother, “That has to be a blow to your pride, huh Adrien?”

“If I wasn’t close to losing my wings I’d end you.”

Nate stuck his tongue out at him. Bay sighed, “If this is what it’s like having siblings, I can’t  _wait_ until Aysel is grown.”

Nate snorted, leaning into Bay, “Nah. She’s Cassian’s kid. It’ll be worse.”

The smile on Bay’s face faultered as he narrowed his eyes at Tarus, assessing him. Nate nudged him, “Come on, Baylor. It’s the Blood Rite, were  _supposed_ to kill each other.” Nate sighed, “Tarus, are you still planning on killing me?”

“Not actively.”

“See there you go, problem solved.” Nate slung his arm around Bay’s neck, “let’s get out of here and so I can eat.”

Adrien snorted. Nate looked over his shoulders at him, “Careful, Ade. Or I’ll eat that fat head of yours.”

\-----------------

Bay looked harder at Tarus. The male was awfully pale and Zev’s eyes were full of worry and something else. Blake and Adrien seemed to trust the male so he said, “Clean slate?”

The male nodded, almost relieved. “Yes.”

Nate smiled, “Look at Baylor being the bigger male.” he elbowed him. “I’m so proud of you.”

Bay rolled his eyes and gave Tarus one of his weapons. “Call me Bay.”


	30. Blood of Passage: Part FIfteen

“How many,” Blake asked. His brother’s mind was already working in overdrive. Adrien could see the cold calculations running. “ _How many, Adrien_?”

It was an effort to reach out as far as he could with his shadows; The strain of his body and his wounds made using his shadows that much more difficult. But neither Nate or Blake was as adept as he was. “Over thirty. Nearly half a hundred. They’ll be here in five minutes give or take.”

Blake turned to Maze and Tarus. He knew what his brother was going to do. “Blake,  _no_.”

His brother ignored him, “I need you both to get Adrien out of here. Maze is too short to be able to carry Adrien by herself. Please.”

Tarus nodded, “I’ll guard him with my life.”

“No, let me stay. I can still fight with you guys. There’s so  _many_ -”

Blake turned to him, “You will end up dead. You need to go on. Tell Aurora to keep fighting and tell our parents I got you  _out_.”

“No,  _Blake_ -”

His brother’s eyes darkened and he knew what Blake was going to do to force him out. He braced himself for the knockout blow that came.

* * *

She took Adrien’s arm around her neck and looked up to Blake, “If I see Cyrian or Bay, I’ll send then your way.”

Blake grinned, “We got this.”

“Oh shut up.” She turned to Tarus, “Let’s get him out of here- wait. You can’t carry him. Not with-”

Tarus’ eyes darkened, that liquid gold turning to a dark brown. “I  _can_ and I  _will_.”

She nodded, “Let’s get him out of here, then.” She turned to Zev, his dark eyes were filled with worry and dread at the death that awaited from his own hands. She got to her toes, kissing his cheek, “Thank you for helping Adrien, Zev. I hope you don’t get dead.”

His eyes were wide, his shoulders tight; pure unexpected surprise was on his face. His voice stumbled to find the right words, “Of- of course, Adrien is my friend.”

She smirked before turning to Tarus, “Come on.”

* * *

Tarus hoisted Adrien in his arms, the male’s arms kept away from his throat, “I’ll carry him, you fight our way out. Can you do that?”

Her smile was dark and vicious, “You have  _no_ idea.”

A chill went down his spine and he gave a final nod to the others, his eyes rested on Zevakyn, who was looking at Mazakynn; the male’s wide eyes drug themselves to him before Tarus turned to Mazakynn also, “Let’s go.”

* * *

Bay stopped. He wasn’t a shadowsinger by any means but he knew when he was being surrounded. He sighed, his voice flat. “Are you going to stop being so dramatic and come out of the shadows or are you going to do the smart thing and leave me alone?”

“I see.” A group started swarming around him, a few of the males from the fight with Karis. “I suppose you’re here to kill me for being a ‘faggot’?”

The males surrounded him and he almost entertained the idea to let them try to hit him, shock some feeling into his body. Instead, he gripped his weapon. “Come at me.”

They attacked.

* * *

Blake watched Tarus and Maze get as far as they could before turning to Nate and Zev. “There’s three of us, and nearly fifty of them. Let’s get out of here and make ourselves legends.”

Nate snorted, “Your arrogance is showing. Were most likely going to get our asses handed to us.”

Zevakyn’s mouth slid into a crooked grin, not quite reaching his eyes, “Then we go down swinging.”

“Easy for you to say,” Nate said, squaring his shoulders, readying for the fight of a lifetime. “You completed your bucket list of getting a kiss off Maze. I still have things on mine that I need to do.”

“You mean Bay?” Blake said.

“”You think of that all by yourself?” Nate retorted.

Blake shook his head before turning to the first wave of fighters, “Were not dying. Were the best and we're going to show them why.” He ran at the first male.

* * *

Zev drove his weapon in a male’s throat. Bile rose in his stomach at the bloodshed around him. He shook his head, clearing his mind and pulled the weapon out and turning on the next male.

Blood pooled in his fingers, feeling too much like Chelia’s. His heart hardened at the thought of her broken body and bloodlust rose in his veins. He growled as he ripped throat after throat out; her name echoing in his ears.

* * *

Nate slammed his elbow into a male’s nose, his bones crunching beneath him. He swing, his fist connecting to the male in front of him. He hoped Bay would turn his short-ass around and come and save their asses. There were so many.

He ducked narrowly missing a fist; his own connected with the male’s throat. The male wheezed, coughing blood.

“How you doing, Blake,” he yelled, “Still think we’re going to be legends?”

His brother ducked, expertly hitting the male in the face, the male’s eye socket shattering beneath his fist. “Keep up, Nate.” He brought his hand down, shattering the rest of the male’s broken face. “You can’t fuck Bay if you’re dead.”

His temper spiked; his fingers caught the male’s hair, bringing the back of the male’s head into the stone floor of the cavern. “Shut up, you dick.” He stood, A fist connected to his cheek and he pushed the male backwards. “The same could be said for you and Aurora.”

He could feel the glare he was getting from his brother. Good. He pushed the male into the wall, his hand brought the male’s head to the wall. Blood and bone and brain matter splattered against the stone. He grimaced, wiping the blood from his face, “That’s fucking gross.”

Blake shook his blood soaked hair from his face, “that's different, she's my mate.”

“Oh,  _whatever_.”

* * *

He was so close. Cyrian could feel it. He was going to get out of here and rip Malyus apart. He could almost imagine the male’s blood on his fingers.

His fingers tightened around a male’s throat, he gasped for air and Cyrian sighed, “you are all so pathetic.” He slammed the male’s head down into the rock. He smiled grimly at the destruction. “Can’t even put up a decent fight.” He didn't even bother to turn around, “It would seem that your pet needed to be carried out. That has to hurt his pride. Hm?”

“They need your help.”

He turned to Maze, “And why would I help your friends?”

“Look, their being surrounded by at least forty people. Just- Please?”

His lips curled up into a smile, “I didn’t think you had manners outside the bedroom, Mazakynn.”

She glared at him, “Cyrian. Please.”

He clicked his tongue, “Well, I do love killing. Hopefully I get there before they get themselves massacred.” 

* * *

Bay pulled a male off of Nate, “Wrong move.” his fist connected with the male’s throat. What he lacked in height he made up for in strength. He kneed the male’s groin; the male fell to his knees just for Bay’s own knee to shatter the male’s nose hard enough he knew cartilage and bone jarred in the male’s brain, but he was still alive. He turned to Nate, “You alright?”

Nate tried flexing his fingers, looking down at him. “You came back.”

“Of course I did.” Bay said before turning to the next male, his weapon lodging itself up under the male’s ribs and into his lung. He pulled it out and the male fell to the ground. He turned back to study Nate. “Can you still paint?”

Anger flashed in Nate’s face, “I think so.” Nate’s foot connected to the first fallen male’s neck, crushing his windpipe, “Asshole.” Nate took Bay’s chin in his fingers, forcing him to look at him. “You’re bleeding.” Bay knew he had blood running down the side of his face, his nose was broken too.

Bay shook him off, “It’s the Blood Rite. People bleed. Come on.”

* * *

Zevakyn had seen Bay tear into people but he hadn’t seen him so detached and executing as if he were simply spelling his name. Zevakyn met Nate’s eyes, “You okay, Friend?”

Nate’s eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes watching Bay tear into male after male. “Ask me again  _after_ we get out of Hell.”

* * *

He wrung his hand, shaking the throbbing in it. He was an idiot for letting those males get the best of him. If Baylor hadn’t shown up, his hand would be ruined and he’d never paint another picture again. He supposed he would have to thank him for it. Nate felt his lips curl into a smile at the image in his head.

Zev snorted.

He dodged the next attack, letting a male run straight past him. He pulled the male’s arm back, dislodging the bone and broke the male’s neck, “What’s so funny?” he asked Zev.

Zev’s foot crunched a male’s back, snapping his spine, “You, my friend, are very readable.” Zev turned to him, his eyes were intense with promise. “I’m going to say this just once: Don’t. Hurt. Bay.”

He blinked. He wasn’t expecting the dark promise that waited in Zev’s eyes. “What?”

“You heard me.”

* * *

Cyrian showed up to find absolute carnage. Bay’s foot connected with a male’s throat and he looked up at him, “What are you doing here.” The male’s voice was cold. No that’s not right. Being cold implied emotion, this was detached and a void. Similar to his.

Cyrian took out the throat of the nearest male, “Saving your asses apparently.”

* * *

Adrien opened his eyes, squinting at the sunlight streaming through his windows. The sun. he was out. He jolted up, “Where’s Maze?”

His mother’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, “Nice to see you too, Sweetheart.”

He looked around. They weren’t at the mountains anymore and the tang of salve filled his nose and was cool against his wings. They were in his bedroom.

His father’s voice was soft and lethal, “Who did that to your wings?”

He averted his eyes. He couldn’t face his father with what happened to him. Not when he had that knowing look, the ghost of memory on his face. “It was Ezekiel, sir.”

“Is he dead?”

“Yes, sir.” he looked up at his mother, then his father. His throat was thick. “Can I be alone? Please?”

His mother leaned closer, kissing his cheek. “We’ll be outside if you need us.” She stood, smoothing down her dress. “Come on, Az.”

As soon as his parents were out of his room, he brought his knees up to his chest and he let out the broken sobs that had been stifled for the past three days.


	31. Blood of Passage: Part Sixteen

Cyrian studied Nate’s slender fingers. Years of art discipline were worn in those hands and Cyrian knew what it would mean for Nate if they were ruined. He also remembered when he had saved Nate when his fingers were almost destroyed. The male thanked him through physical means; sometimes he wondered if Adrien knew about that peice of history between him and Nate.

“You going to live? Or is your crippling fear of broken fingers going to render you catatonic?”

Nate glared at him. “Fuck you.”

“Name the time and place.” He could feel Bay’s glare from afar. It would seem his back to himself again. He kissed the air between them. “You too, Sweetheart.”

Nate rolled his eyes and walked away, his arms over Bay’s shoulders. He turned to find Blake staring at him. “Paint a picture, it lasts longer.”

“Maze found you.”

“She asked me to come and save your sorry asses. No thanks needed.”

“You didn’t need to save us. We had the situation handled.”

“Careful, Sunshine. With an ego like that your head will become too big for your body.”

“Oh look who’s talking.”

“Whatever. I’m getting out of here. Places to go, people to kill. Busy male, I am.”

“I’m sorry about Tania.”

“Don’t say her name. You don’t get that honor.”

“She was my friend.”

“And I’ll be the last face  _you_ see if you keep testing my patience.”

Blake shook his head, “Mother, you’re a dick.”

He turned on his heel and walked away. The sooner he got from these fools the sooner he would have Malyus’s blood on his fingers.

* * *

Five foot five and a combination of hazel-green eyes, freckles and ash-gold hair, Baylor looked at him with a small grin and Nate was relieved he was okay. The male only went up to his shoulders but Baylor was a nonstop heart attack that would be the death of him.

“I am more than ready to get out of here,” Baylor said. The male was leaning into him, his fingers thrumming the spot right right above Nate’s right flank, his fingers a hummingbird’s wings against him. Nate loved it. “I need coffee and I need it now. I can actually taste it. The caffeine withdrawal is  _killing_ me.”

“You know that coffee stunts your growth, yes?”

Baylor glared up at him, “I hate you.”

He kissed Baylor’s temple, “Love you too.”

Baylor snorted, his fingers still fluttering at his side, Baylor slid closer to him and Nate’s heart was pounding in his chest, so he tightened his arm around Bay’s shoulder.

He could feel Zevakyn’s eyes on him and he looked to see he was right. Zev gave him a small nod and he returned it. Baylor looked between them and a frown tugged at his mouth. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“That nod that looked like you just signed a blood oath.”

“He... told me to not hurt you.”

Bay’s eyebrows shot up, a flush in his face. “Why would he care if you hurt me or not?”

“Because he’s your friend?”

Baylor snorted, “I don’t have any friends besides Ash and you.”

Blake walked in time with them. “Now that’s just mean, Bay. We let you raid our  _personal libraries_ and you don’t even consider me or Adrien your friends. I’m broken. Just heartbroken that you have such a low opinion of us.”

Baylor’s face flushed and he started to stammer. “I-”

“Too late,” Blake said dramatically. “The damage is done and my heart is broken. It’s your fault and now I must mend the pain by seeking out low companionship. I just pray Aurora can look past this and still find me to her liking.”

There it was. That laugh that Nate rarely heard from Baylor and a sharp piece of jealousy struck him for it not being the one to make him do it.

“Blake,” said Baylor. “Aurora almost killed you. Why would she like you?”

Blake turned to Nate. “Neither you or Cassian told him? I’m shocked. My baby brother  _can_ keep his mouth shut after all. Someone find me a history keeper so we can mark this day down as one we’ll never forget.”

“Blake,” Baylor said. “You give a bad name to us blonds. Dacia and I are going to have to kick you out of the club. You are tarnishing our reputation.” Nate started to choke on laughter.

“What does that even mean?” Blake said.

“Your stupidity outweighs your good looks.”

Blake just grinned. “Bay, do you think I’m pretty?”

Bays face was red but he said. “Pretty stupid, yeah.”

Blake laughed.

Nate grinned. “Oh, Baylor. You are a  _delight_.”

* * *

Zevakyn wondered if he would ever fit into a group like the one before him. With all their problems they would kill for each other and somehow, it made him feel incredibly alone. Bay looked up, meeting his eyes. “You didn’t die.”

He grinned at him. “Nope.”

“Did you forgo your usual talk-your-way-out policy?”

“I..yeah. I kind of guess I did.”

“Too bad.” Bay shrugged. “Although I did tell you.”

He snorted. “Yeah I guess you did.”

Bay looked so much different than he did only a week before. He was lighter and brighter and Zevakyn found he was happy for him.

As Zevakyn walked, he noticed Bay’s fingers. They were always moving, always in motion. It must be a tic. He wondered if Bay realized he did that.

“I’m glad you didn’t get dead.” Bay’s lips twitched, an amused glint in his eyes. “For such a nice male.”

Oh if only he knew just how unkind he had been in his life. How ruthless he had been and how that cost him his Chelia. But the look in Bay’s eyes..he wasn’t far from the truth. He was too smart for his own good. But if Bay could tell him about his past, he would tell Bay about his. It was only fair. And the male saved his life, he could never repay back a kindness like that.

* * *

Blake couldn’t stop smiling to himself. They were so close, the cave entrance just ahead of them and he could feel  _her_ at the end of it. She was waiting for him and if she was waiting, that meant she knew about the bond and if she was waiting it meant that they had gotten the process of her staying in the other courts for a while started. And the look on his brother and Bay’s faces were icing. They were  _all_ getting out and he was relieved. He just hoped Cyrian too got out. Despite him being a total dickhead to everyone. And that Adrien would be okay, Cauldron knows his brother didn’t deserve what happened to him.

“You  _reek_.” Bay grimaced. “Please tell me you plan on bathing  _before_ eating. You’ll spoil your food before it even touches your lips.”

Nate opened his mouth, “I reject that statement. I smell wonderful.”

Bay snorted, “Yeah, eau de old blood really brings out the lavender in your scent.”

“Eat and bathe at the same time. Cauldron knows you’ve done it at least once before,” Blake said.

“I have not.”

“Have to.”

“How would you even know if I’ve done that? Do you walk in when I shower or something?”

“And see my brother’s bony ass? I think the fuck  _not_. You leave plates in the bathroom and half the time I trip over an apple.”

“Either you’re lying or your are an uncoordinated man-duck who needs our mother to nurse your wounds.”

Blake ignored him and stopped. “Can you feel it?”

“The wind.” Zev said.

“Were at the end,” said Nate. “Fucking  _finally_.”

He agreed.

* * *

Tarus clutched the sides of the toilet, chills and tremors convulsed through him as wet coughs burst out of him. He could hear the dripping of the water, the sound of a male’s sobbing in the next room. He could hear his own screaming in his ears. Everything was too loud and he couldn’t quite remember where he was.

The bile in the back of his throat burned as he tried to force himself sick, to get the tremors to stop and to come back from this thing, this sickness that made him unable to touch others without recalling images from his past.

“Tarus?”

He leaned backwards, his back to the wall before he looked at the female. “I’m fine.”

“ _Cauldron_ ,” Mazakynn knelt down to his side, her hand reaching out to touch his face. He flinched back, his head hitting the wall, and she froze. “Do you remember where you are?”

“I-” He faltered. No, he didn’t know where he was. Where was he?

“You are out. You are  _safe_. You are in Varalis, the home of the Morrigan and her mate, Leta. I will not hurt you, Tarus. Neither will they.  Okay? Tell me you know that we won’t hurt you.”

He could see the sincerity in her eyes, the warmth of her smile but it was all drowned out by the thudding of his heart in his ears, the unshed tears in his eyes that made her image blurry. “I’m fine. Go make sure Adrien’s okay.”

“You are  _not_ fine. Tarus, who hurt you?”

“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter. It’s over and done with.”

“Tarus-”

“ _No_.” He was yelling and he hurt his own ears. He tried again, more quiet. “No.”

He tried to stand up, his legs trembled beneath him and he caught himself before he fell to the ground. He’s okay. Hes okay and he would be fine. He just needed to calm down. He looked to Maze, “I’m fine.  _Really_.”

“Blake shouldn’t have asked you to get Adrien out. It’s obvious that physical contact triggered something in you. You should have let Nate or Zevakyn get him out.”

“I almost killed Blake. I was-”

“It doesn’t matter. The Blond Bimbo can take care of himself.  _You_ need to let someone help  _you_!”

“Who?” He snarled. “My adoptive father who let priestesses carve me  _apart_ to cure my sexuality? The males who cut me open and take my blood by  _force_ to get themselves high? The males who tried to r-” He stopped short. “I have  _no one_  to help me. I can’t go  _home_. I can’t see my  _sister_ and tell her who I am because if I step  _foot_  in that court, they will have to kill me to get me to leave. I can’t go home. I can’t get comfort from my family because my so called father doesn’t love me.” His voice shuddered. “ _I have no one_.”

Her face broke apart and he realized he said too much and he didn’t know how to take back his words. He should have just said he was fine and to walk away. Instead, he let himself slide back down, his knees brought to his chest and his hands were in his hair.

The awful truth of it was, he had no one and he should have let Bay kill him in the Blood Rite. It would have been a kindness to die beneath the male’s hand and to never be able to feel this burden ever again.

“Look at me,” Mazakynn said. He didn’t.

“ _Look_ at me, Tarus.” her voice was firm and he found himself dragging his eyes up to meet hers.

“I don’t have anyone either. Not any more. Unless you count Adrien.” She paused. “My father and brother beat me to a pulp and I learned to hide my bruises. I told myself that there  _had_ to be a reason for them to do this.  I watched what I said and did. I tiptoed around them both until I realized that it was  _them_ who were wrong and I fought back.”

“If you want a family, Tarus,  _I_ will be your family. We have both been fucked up too much to ever be considered sane.”

He blinked. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know you saved my mate.”

“Your mate? Adrien?”

She paused. “He doesn’t know. Please don’t tell anyone.”

His lips stretched into a humorless smile. “Who am I going to tell?”

“With dark humor like that,” she laughed quietly, “you will fit right along with the rest of us.”

Would these people just welcome him in after what he did? He almost killed the spymaster’s eldest son, the  _Morrigan’s_ eldest son. He threatened their youngest. When they find out they will kill him for it and he would burn in hell. He would never meet his sister or go home to the Dawn Court. It was the punishment he had expected since before entering the Blood Rite.

Mazakynn cocked her head, “Who  _is_ your sister?” He knew what she was doing. She was trying to get him distracted. To get him to calm the rush of panic in his blood.

“She’s the heir of the Dawn Court.”

Her eyes widened. “Aurora Luxmea is your  _sister_?!”

“Do you know her?”

“No, I don’t but…”

He leaned forward. “What do you know about her?”

She hesitated. “I know that she had a poor excuse for a father. I know she’s highly skilled in combat and that Blake has the hots for her.”

“He told me he didn’t.”

“No, he’s not in  _love_ with her. But he  _is_ in lust with her.” She sat down next to him. “Is that why you tried to kill Blake? Because of his feelings for her?”

“No. I tried to kill him for trying to kill her.”

“Oh  _sweetie_. Blake could never hurt Aurora. Ever. It just isn’t possible.” her eyes were liquid amber. “He may be a slut but when it comes to her, Blake would sooner cut his arm off than hurt her.”

“Then why is he so protective of her if he doesn’t love her? Why didn’t he raise a hand to me unless it was just to defend himself? Why is he so passionate?”

She snorted. “You give him  _way_ too much credit. I would tell you what I knew about them but I was sworn to secrecy and unlike my mate and his brothers,  _I_ know how to keep a secret.”

“You told me about Adrien.”

Her smile was a devious one. “Yes I did. But I knew you wouldn’t say anything.”

His heart had finally gotten back to its regular rhythm and he could finally breathe. He palmed his eye and groaned. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I- I forgot where I was.”

“You’re sweet.” She said. “Too bad I’m in love with an arrogant hothead or else I’d steal you for myself.”

“Who would you steal me from?”

She brought her fingers up to her lips. “Can’t say.”

He felt himself start to smile, “that’s very considerate of you.”

“Are you better now? Do you still need me?”

No. But it’s a start.  “Go help Adrien.”

She flashed him a brilliant smile and headed out the door. Pausing for a brief moment she turned back around. “Welcome to the family, Tarus.”

* * *

Adrien pulled his legs up to his chest. He could hear his parent through his shadows. He could feel their rage and despair and he knew it was him that put it there.

 _“Our son is broken, Az. He is going to fall apart unless we help him. I don’t know what to do. Our son is_ too young  _to be like this. Those beautiful wings...what do we do? What do we do to help our son?”_

His mother was crying and he knew right now his father’s arms were around her, his chin on her forehead and he’d murmur how it would be okay and he would do everything he could. Too bad Adrien didn’t believe his all powerful father could save him.

He laid his head down to his pillowed and curled up on his side, his tears wet against his face.

“Adrien?”

He opened his eyes, “Maze.”

She climbed up onto the bed with him, her warm fingers were pushing back his bangs, “Im so sorry this happened to you.”

“It’s my own fault.”

She sighed and laid her head next to his. “I love you, Adrien. I love you so. so much and it scares the hell out of me and I don’t know how to help you.”

He had waited so long to hear those words come from her but he didn’t want them. Not right now when it took him almost dying to get her to say it. When he felt like he had been disgraced and ruined and ashamed. So instead he turned away from her and closed his eyes, letting sleep carry him into oblivion.


	32. Blood of Passage: Part Seventeen

Adrien studied the view of Veralis from his window. The Sidrah sparkled from the sun beaming down on it. His wings ached, his heart hurt. Everything was painful. From the inhale of breath to the blink of his eye. His shadows picked up the conversation between Maze, his mother and the healer.

* * *

_“It will be months before he can just move them without pain. Longer to even fly. If he can. Nerve damage, scar tissue. Each pair are different.” The healer’s voice wasn’t unkind. It was skilled into professional kindness. His shadows betrayed her sadness._

_His mother had a hand over her mouth, tears shone in her eyes. “What can I do? What can we do?”_

_“Time. He needs time and support from his family. And from those he loves. Keep his wings bound but let them breath for a few hours every day. He needs to have exercises to help circulation and healing. And perhaps for him to see someone? His mental state is very important. Does he have a mate? Or perhaps a significant other of some kind?”_

_“Me,” Maze said. “I’m his girlfriend.”_

_“He will need you the most. He will need_ all  _of you.”_

* * *

He didn’t want their help. He wanted to find a hole and never crawl out of it. He didn’t want Maze there out of pity or his parents and brothers to fawn over him with looks of sympathy. He wanted to break the world apart before he broke himself apart.

At least in the mountain, there was Cyrian and his desire to kill the bastard for touching Maze and baiting him. He had his anger and rage and desire to get Maze out alive and his promise to her in that mountain. Now he none of it and he was filled with a sense of bottomless empty that was going to swallow him whole.

* * *

Aurora felt horribly out of place. She wasn’t wearing Night Court clothing or even the Spring Court clothing. She was wearing her traditional silk garb of the Dawn Court and her hair was down around her: Soft pinks and golds. She kept her chin raised to the curious onlookers.

High Lady Dacia stood beside her in a pale, pale green tulle dress. She was…rather beautiful. Dacia met her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” The tight knot in her stomach belayed her. She was worried about Blake and she was rather irritated with him too. She just couldn’t quite figure out which she was more: angry or worried.

Dacia smiled at her, hooking Aurora’s arm with hers. “Don’t worry, Aurora. You get used to it.”

“What?”

“Deciding if you want to kill or kiss him. If it makes you feel better, it’s  _usually_ the latter.”

She rose a brow. “You kiss Blake?” Something like jealousy went through her and she almost gaped. Was she jealous of Dacia? Of  _Blake_? She shook the thought from her head and studied the cave entrance. “You don’t have to answer that. Sorry I asked.”

Dacia was laughing beside her. It was loud and bright and there were literal tears in her eyes. “Oh Cauldron. Aurora, sweetie, I-  _No_. I do not kiss Blake.  _Ever_. He looks too much like me and ugh, he lacks certain requirements to even entertain the idea.”

“What? You don’t like blonds?”

“No, I don’t like males.” She paused. “And blondes. I can’t date someone who looks like me it’s too weird.”

She laughed, the tension in her shoulders started to ebb away.  She didn’t like this feeling, the territoriality of herself. Dacia gave her a pitying smile. “It’s okay sweetie. Blake brings the best and the worst out of all of us. Nate and I have a drinking game to see how many times he can do something stupid before we get wasted. We both have high tolerances, thank the Cauldron. Otherwise the game we be cut short. You can join us for the next round.” SHe felt herself smile at the invitation.

Before she could respond another wave of warriors were coming out of the mountain. She knew she was being so obvious but she didn’t care. She had so many different emotions and thoughts bouncing in her head. She just wanted to make sure he was okay. That was all.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Blake was nervous. What the hell was he going to say to her? He told her they were mates through a letter. It was a good idea. He wanted her to know incase he died. But…would it be a kindness to have her know such things if he had died? To know that she lost her mate? Oh Cauldron, she was going to kick his ass.

“What’s wrong?”

Before he could answer Bay, Nate chimed in, “He’s having an existential crisis because he told the girl he was in lust with that she was his mate through a piece of paper.”

Bay’s eyebrows hit his hairline, “Do you have brain damage?”

“Shut up.” Blake glared at them both, “It was a good idea.”

Bay shook his head, “You poor bastard. Does your mother know?”

“That I sent her a letter? Yeah, she was the one to deliver it.”

“No, that you were obviously dropped on your head as an infant. Cauldron, Blake even _I_  know not to tell a girl something like that through a piece of paper.”

Nate was shaking with laughter and even Zev was giving him a pitying smile. “You are an idiot, my friend.”

He groaned. “I am so  _screwed_.”

Nate wiped a tear from his dirty face. “If you are lucky, it’ll be by her.”

* * *

“Are you  _okay_?”

Maze looked at Tarus, wiping her eyes. “I’m fine. Will you go with Azriel to see that Bay and the others got out okay?” The male was breathing better, thank the Cauldron. He wasn’t shaking and he had a shower. He was clean and in Night Court clothing. Her own frizzy hair was going to take a lot to smooth down.“I would go with Az but…I’m needed here. I need you to make sure Bay got out.”

The male’s brows were furrowed and he was looking at her so hard, as if she were a puzzle to be solved. “He’s your friend? Bay?”

“Yes, he’s my best friend. Why?”

“You…are so different.”

“Nah. Me and Bay, we understand each other.” Both of them being from broken homes did wonders for comradery.

“He’s dangerous.”

“Yes. He is. He cares greatly for the people that he has. His mother.. I’m not sure about her. No one does. But I do know that he has had a rough past and doesn’t trust people. He is more like us than you realize. He won’t hesitate to protect the people he loves.” She paused at the glint in his eye. “What did he do to you?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

She sat beside him. “It does matter. Do you want me to beat him up? I’ll beat him up for you.”

Tarus started laughing. “No, thank you. I think it’ll be okay.”

“Whatever happened, talk to him. Okay? You don’t have to tell him much. He’s really freaky at being able to connect dots.” She smiled at him. “Tell him you are under my protection if he tries anything.” She knew Bay wouldn’t. Not unless it was life or death. She paused. “Did…did you threaten someone? Or hurt someone?”

His face flushed and he looked down. “I threatened Nate.”

She groaned loudly. “Oh Tarus. Not  _Nate_. Bay gets stupidly territorial over him. I think its a male thing. I don’t know. Adrien is the same way.” She paused. Interesting. “Who would have thought that someone so smart could be so stupid about another person.” Tarus snorted.

“Since you asked, I will go with the Spymaster to see if Bay and Zevakyn got out alive.” She stopped from smirking at Zev’s name. She didn’t even mention him, it just furthered her suspicions.

* * *

The sun was warm on Zevakyn’s skin. He almosst rolled his eyes into the back of his head at the heat. He had parted from the group only to find Tarus waiting by a tree. His golden eyes were filled with discomfort. He didn’t want to be here. “You okay, friend?”

Tarus studied him, “Is that what we are? Friends?”

Zev rubbed the back of his neck, “I’d like to think so. Listen, thank you for helping me. I don’t know how Bay got you to help a complete stranger, but thank you.”

“He threatened to kill me and take my blood by force,” Tarus said flatly.

“He  _what_?” Zev stilled, fighting the rush of anger flooding through himself. “I’m- I don’t know what to say to that. I had gotten myself wounded by trying to talk my way out and.. Bay was worried. I’m sorry I forced your hand. Bay was…I can’t speak for him. He’s pragmatic and deliberate and will cut people down if it meant protecting his friends.”

“In his defense,” Tarus sighed, “He  _did_ find me attacking Blake.”

He winced. “Yeah, that would do it. Why attack Blake? Did he attack you? Was it self defense?”

“No,” Tarus’s shoulders slumped. “He tried to kill my sister.”

He paused. Blake wasn’t the type to harm a female. “Your sister?”

“Lady Aurora of the Dawn Court.”

“Yeah, you don’t need to worry about Blake hurting Aurora. Or any other female.”

Frustration passed Tarus’s face. “Why does everyone keep saying that?”

Zev blinked, “You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

“Aurora is Blake’s mate.”

Tarus’s eyes went wide, the liquid gold filled with horror. “I tried to kill my sister’s  _mate_?”

* * *

Cassian had been waiting for his son for the past twelve hours. He was the first person to show at the mountain, to wait for their child. He would be the last to leave. If by some slim chance his son didn’t come out alive he would go back in there and get his body out. He just prayed that the Mother wasn’t that cruel, as to take his son like she took his mate.

He left Aysel with Amren, knowing she would protect her. It almost killed him to leave his daughter but it wouldn’t be wise to have an infant out in the elements and so close to violence. He said that she would never step foot near an Illyrian war camp and he meant it.

The knot in his stomach loosened as soon as he saw that ashy blond head and made his way for him.

Bay turned to Nate, the kid towered over his son. His face was open, a little nervous, but also calculating. Bay was about to do something dramatic. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life,” Nate said as if it were completely obvious.

Cassian paused when Bay reached up, his fingers rested on Nate’s face for a fraction of a second before bringing him down to meet his lips. Bay was kissing Nate and Cassian found himself smiling at it. He was surprised, not at the kissing but at the fact there were over five thousand people watching. Knowing Bay, that was exactly why he did it. The kid hated repeating himself so he came out when everyone was gathered in one place. Clever.

“That is the second time you have done that to me and I’m still surprised,” Nate said when they parted. Bay grinned at him.

“Keeps things interesting,” Bay said.

“So  _this_ is what you were doing in the Blood Rite,” Cassian said, grinning. “Interesting use of your time, Bay.”

Bay and Nate turned to him, both boys faces were flushed red. The smile on Bay’s face faltered just a little. Cassian pulled Bay into his arms. “I’m proud of you, Bay. You got your ass out of the mountain.”

“Cassian,” Bay gasped. “I can’t  _breathe_.”

He pulled apart from his son, surveying him for injuries. “Anything broken?” he motioned to his nose, “Besides that?”

“No. I’m fine.” Bay looked down, not meeting his face. “Cassian… I, um, I’m gay. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you..I-”

“Bay, you haven’t so much as looked at a female’s tits since I adopted you. Do you really think I’m suprised?” He paused. “Did you think I would be mad? Bay, did you think I would  _abandon_ you?”  He knew the feeling. A bastard born afraid of making people mad and then leaving. He had similar fears as Bay did growing up. The feeling didn’t just go away, no matter how much time passed. And the fact that he had such little information about Bay’s past…

“I don’t know what I thought,” said Bay quietly.

“Bay, I would never abandon you. You are my  _son_. You liking males isn’t going to change that.” Disbelief flashed in Bay’s face and Cassian’s heart crumpled. Bay kept everyone at an arm’s length, never fully trusting anyone, always believing that if someone looked to close they would see all the damage and leave. He knew that because he felt the same way at his age.

Nate nudged Bay, his voice forced light. “ _You_? Not knowing something? I’m shocked.” He was changing the topic, he could kiss the kid for that.

Bay glared at him. “I hate you, you know that?” Cassian snorted.  _Sure_ he did.

“You keep saying that and I believe you a little bit less each time.” Bay snorted.

“Are you and Nate…together?” Cassian asked. Bay was less than a foot away from Nate, it was pretty obvious.

Bay looked up at Nate in silent questioning. Nate shrugged. “It’s your choice Baylor.”

Somehow Bay’s face flushed deeper and he turned to Cassian, “Yes. Yes we are.”

The biggest smile broke on his face and he looked up to find Azriel talking to Blake. “Azriel!”

His friend looked up at him, slightly annoyed at being interrupted. “What?”

“Our boys are together! Mother this is the best thing I’ve heard in a decade! My boy and my best friend’s son, Mother this is great. Just so great.”

A deep painful groan came from both Bay and Nate. Azriel smiled at them both, his eyes were bright. Azriel paused and looked between Nate and Bay, then at him before turning back to Bay. “Tarus wants to talk to you, Bay.”

“Ah hell,” Nate groaned. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“No,” Cassian said. “I want to talk to you. Bay, go see what that kid wants.” Bay frowned at him and he grinned back. Rolling his eyes, Bay left; leaving Nate with him.

Cassian waited until Bay was out of earshot. “Nate, I love you but  _Bay_ is my  _son_. If you hurt him I might have to kill you and that would make things very awkward between me and your father.”

Nate paled at the promise he was giving him. “Do you really think I would hurt Baylor? Cassian, I love him. I don’t think I’m actually capable of hurting him.”

Cassian blinked. “You love him?”

Nate’s face had lost all trace of arrogance, leaving nothing but truth. “Yes.”

* * *

Tarus stood with his arms behind his back. He looked as if he’d rather be anywhere but here. He was uncomfortable. Bay crossed his arms, “what did you want?”

“I want to apologize.”

Bay narrowed his eyes, “For?”

“You  _know_ what for. I don’t want things to be bad between us, Bay. Mazakynn and Zevakyn seem to really like you. And.. I realized how wrong I was.”

“For threatening Nate?”

“Yes. I didn’t realize the depth of your love for him.” He almost flinched at that word. He was terrified of how much he felt for Nate. Terrified of what it meant for them both. Tarus smiled at him. “It’s a Dawn Court custom, you see. Blood for Blood. Blake said he wouldn’t hurt Aurora. If he had killed her it would give me grounds to kill Nate. But I didn’t know Blake was her mate and Maze said you would do anything to protect your friends and family. Do you understand why I thought I had to protect her?” This was not what he was expecting.

“Tarus..I.. when I had you by the throat, the only thing running through my head was that you were going to take him from me. I think you know what it’s like to have everyone taken from you, yes? What it’s like to look to the stars and wish your blood were still there to protect you.”

Tarus smiled grimly, “Mazaynn said you were smart.”

He snorted, the tension starting to ebb away. “Well, one of my friends has to be. We’d all be dead if we left the decision making skills to Blake or Adrien.” He studied Tarus. “I’m sorry for forcing you to help Zev. I… I tried to get him to Blake. Blake is better at first aid than I ever will be. I didn’t want to lose Zev too.” Not like how he lost both his mothers.

“Thank you.”

Bay rubbed the back of his neck, “I do want us to start over, I meant that when we were in the mountain. Can you look past me being a territorial jackass to you?”

Tarus nodded before his eyes shifted past him, his face paled. Bay turned to find Blake and Nate heading towards Dacia and Aurora. He turned back to Tarus, “Do you want to meet her?”

* * *

Blake and Nate stood in front of her, blood and dirt covered so much of them. The knot of worry unraveled itself as she took in her best friends. Their faces were gaunt but their eyes were bright. She almost sobbed at the relief that they was okay.

Blake hugged her. “I missed you too, Princess.”

Dacia pulled from him, grimacing at her now ruined dress. “Blake, you bastard. Do me a favor and take a shower and then take another one. In fact, move into a bathtub permanently.”

He pulled her back into another hug, “If I have to reek so do you.”

She sighed before hugging him back. “Glad you aren’t dead. I’d hate to break in a new best friend.”

Nate scoffed. “What am I then?”

“Annoying,” Blake told him. Nate glared at his back, she rolled her eyes.

Pulling from her, Blake looked at Aurora. If she didn’t know better, she would say that Blake looked nervous. He gave Aurora his signature smile; Dacia refrained from rolling her eyes. “Hello Sweetheart.”

She could see a thousand emotions flash through Aurora’s face before they all smoothed into one. Anger.

A sound cracked as Aurora’s hand smacked Blake’s face. “Paper? You tell me we’re mates through a piece of paper?!” Nate was doubled over laughing and she had her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing as well. “Why the hell- You  _stupid_ -”

Blake’s eyes were wide but he was grinning at her and it seemed to infuriate Aurora even more. “Why didn’t you just tell me when you  _broke_ into my  _bedroom_? Why have your  _mother_ give it to me? You stupid  _bastard_. If my father-” She stopped short, the anger draining from her face as she took a breath. She sighed, “I’m glad you aren’t dead, Blake.”

Blake leaned in, kissing Aurora’s cheek. “Feel better, Sweetheart?”

Aurora gave him a flat stare. “Yes, I feel better, you  _ass_.”

“Aurora,” Nate laughed. “You just became my best friend.”

Aurora turned to him, “Because I hit Blake?”

Nate smiled, “Because you hit Blake.” 

Bay and another male came up behind them. “Lady Aurora, this is Tarus. He’s your little brother.”

* * *

His heart pounded through him as his sister looked at him. He had imagined meeting her a thousand different times but none of them lived up to this. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

Her face was pale, her eyes were calculating. “You..are you.. You look just like him. Except for the eyes.”

“They are my mother’s, or so I am told.” He knelt down to a knee, bowing, his eyes averted.. “It’s an honor to  _finally_ meet you, my lady.”

She knelt down in front of him, meeting his eyes. They were wide but unbelievably kind. He did not deserve this. “Are you really my brother?”

“I’m sorry, my Lady. I didn’t know he was your mate. I am so  _sorry_.” He felt the tears fall from his eyes and she had a hand on his face, forcing him to look at her. He stopped himself from recoiling from her touch.

“You do  _not_ need to call me ‘Lady.’ You are my equal. My family. I can’t- I can’t believe my father didn’t tell me about you.” Anger shone in her unshed tears. “Actually, yes I can.”

“I’ve wanted to meet you for so  _long_. I-,” He swallowed. “I’m just glad I got to meet you.”

She helped him stand. “Why do you sound like you are going to up and disappear on me?”

“I tried to kill your mate! I do not deserve this. I do not deserve to call you ‘sister.’”

She blinked in surprise, “You tried to kill Blake?”

“Yes.”

“Hey,” Blake said. “You didn’t know. It’s fine.”

“It is  _not_ fine!” Tarus exclaimed. “You wouldn’t raise a hand to me and I would have killed you if Bay didn’t stay my hand.”

Nate snorted, “Don’t give yourself too much credit. We all have wanted to kill Blake at least once in our lives. Consider it a required experience to join our group.” Join their group? Did he consider him a friend?

He looked at Aurora, her eyes were on the scars around his neck, the scars around his arms. “Who did that to you?”

“I..a lot of people.” He would not lie to her. Never her.

“Why?”

“My blood. They wanted my blood and when I said no, they took it by force, my Lady.”

Her face was horrified. “Didn’t your mother protect you?”

“She’s dead, my Lady.”

The tears fell from her eyes, trailing down her- their-cheekbones. “I am so sorry, Tarus. I know that’s not what you want to hear, especially from me, but I am so sorry. I am older than you, I should have protected you.”

He blinked. “No, it’s not your responsibility to protect me from the monsters of this world or the next.”

“Can…can I hug you?” She asked quietly. “I would very much like to hug my little brother.”

“Yes,” he breathed. “I would like that.”

She wrapped her arms around him and he buried his face in her neck. He had never once had a loving touch such as a hug from anyone, not even his adoptive father. The experience was dizzying. He felt the sobs starting to erupt from himself. His sister, he was finally meeting his sister and she was everything he hoped she would be.


	33. Blood of Passage: Part Eighteen

Tarus stared at the inkwells and the needles beside them. His eyes dragged to the artist touching the stranger’s neck, the needle, the pinpricks of blood that ran as the artist tattooed the night court insignia to the male’s skin. He could do this. He could sit for hours and let the male tattoo his skin. Let the male touch him. Let the male- No. No he couldn’t. He couldn’t. He  _couldn’t_ -

“Tarus?”

He flinched at his name, pulling himself from the growing turmoil in his blood. He turned to the voice. Zevakyn’s head was cocked, his dark hair hanging loose over his eyes. solid deep brown filled with a painful kindness that made his heart beat faster and his mind run clear. “Sorry, got lost in thought.” The lie came out smooth as silk.

A crooked grin rested easily on the male’s face, not quite reaching his eyes; hands in his pockets. “What are you thinking about? Where to get your tattoo at?”

He thought he would be dead and not have to get one. He planned to let himself be killed by Azriel or the rest of Blake’s family. But they didn’t kill him. They did the exact opposite and welcomed him and now he would have to get a tattoo and let the tattooer touch him and ink him and the thought had panic wrapped around his throat into a chokehold.

He cleared his throat. “Something like that.”

“Tarus, you’re next,” one of the tattooers said.

He closed his eyes briefly before reopening them. Zevakyn had disappeared. “Okay. I’m coming.”

* * *

“High Lord,” Zev said. “I need you to permit me to do something.”

Rhysand had his hands shoved in his pockets, his face a beautifully carved nightmare. “I’ve already permitted you to be able to live after killing a camp lord’s son. What makes you think I would give you another pass?”

“I...please. Don’t make him get the tattoo.” Zev said. “Don’t make him have to stomach someone touching him to prove his loyalty to his court.”

A crack appeared in the mask. A lingering fury lit up in his starry eyes. “The tattoo needs a home somewhere,” he purred. “Where would you suggest it go?”

‘Me,” he said. “Put it on me and tell him you made an exception because of his parentage.” Chelia would do that. She would take the pain and permanent ink to her beautiful skin if it meant saving someone from discomfort. He could feel her smiling down at him and he knew he was making the right choice. “I’ll do whatever you want, High Lord. Just don’t make him go through that kind of pain.”

Something past through the High Lord’s mask before he asked, “Why do you care so much?” An invisible hand brushed his mind and Zev’s spine locked in place, his fear palpable between them. The high lord’s mouth stretched into a smile. “Interesting. Consider it done, Zevakyn. Get yourself ready. You will be inked next.” What did he see? What did the High Lord see in his head that had made him grant not one but two favors?

His fingers were steady as he unbuttoned his shirt. He looked to the mirror, his tall frame finally clean after a week of bloodshed and dirt and pain. He shrugged his shirt off, revealing his pale skin; the flecked scars all over his torso from years of fighting and killing at the most brutal camp Prythian had seen in centuries.

His eyes fell to the scar at left flank. Screams and claws pushed at his memory. Chelia’s broken body left to the elements. Her unseeing eyes staring back up at him saying  _where were you? Where were you?_

His ruthlessness for being the best cost him everything. If he had known that his actions cost her her life, he would never have stumbled into her. Never would have fucked her or been kind to her. He would never have loved her.

* * *

Nate was biting his lip, holding his hair back out of his eyes with one hand as the other worked the sketch on the paper. Bay fought the urge to put his own hands in the male’s hair; to let it spill past his fingers in silky black waves. To let the scent of apples and lavender fill his senses so the only thought in his head was Nate. Instead he kept his eyes focused on Nate’s drawing. The design would be on his skin forever, he wanted Nate to do it. It was only him that Bay trusted with a task like this. Nate looked up at him, “Are you sure you want me designing this? I know you don’t like to have things so much out of your control. That you would be okay with someone else making something that would be forever imprinted on your skin.”

Bay sat on the desk, meeting Nate’s eyes. “I trust no one else with this.” Two people he trusted. One was him. “No one else, Nathaniel. Just you.”

Nate stood between Bay’s dangling legs, his fingers grazing Bay’s neck before meeting his gaze. He was close enough to see the individual lashes framing his depthless eyes. All rational thought evaporated from his mind and he almost had his hands in Nate’s hair, pulling him closer. Instead he hesitated.

He wanted Nate. He wanted him more than anything. But Nate was whole and steady and solid. He was scarred and damaged and unstable. Everyone warned Nate to not hurt him and only Blake had warned him to not hurt Nate. He wondered if Blake’s shadows saw all his shortcomings and deemed him not worthy of Nate. He didn’t want to be the reason Blake’s brother became as broken as he was. Worse, he didn’t want Nate to see him how he saw himself.

He forced himself to pull apart from Nate. Nate surveyed him, slight confusion in the male’s eyes. “What’s wrong? Am I moving too fast? I can-”

He covered Nate’s mouth with his hand. “Don’t be stupid, that’s Blake’s job,” Bay said. He lowered his hand. “If you were smart you would walk away from me.”

Nate tilted his head, his slender fingers rested just below Bay’s hairline, sending warmth through the nape of his neck. Nate’s eyes were amused. “If you feel that way, why don’t you walk first? You have two legs and a functioning brain.”

Bay’s fingers thrummed Nate’s wrist. “I can’t. I’ve tried.”

“That’s why. I’ve tried walking away, I’ve tried getting you out of my head by fucking other males. Didn’t  _work_. You are a heart attack that never stops and you drive me fucking crazy. If you think you are going to damage me, I suggest you get a grip, Baylor Perditas. I chose you and I’m not changing my mind.” Hearing his last name on Nate’s tongue made his heart hurt. Only Cassian and he knew about that name. Knew that he didn’t want it or the memories tied to it.

Nate’s eyes had darkened, his face an unmovable stone, yielding nothing beyond truth. It took the air from Bay’s lungs and he found himself tilting back his head, Nate’s hand cupping the base of his skull, Bay gave the male access to his throat. Nate’s other hand rested on Bay’s thigh. One of Bay’s hands were in Nate’s hair, the other on Nate’s chest, the muscle of stomach beneath Bay’s fingers. He closed his eyes at the touch of Nate’s mouth on his skin. Heat flooded through him at the contact of canines and tongue against his flesh. Bay’s lips parted and a single word escaped him. “ _Nathaniel_.”

He waited for the bite, for the peirce of flesh. But it didn’t come. Instead the rustle of paper snapped them both to the present. The Blood Rite, the tattoos, the swearing in ceremony. Fuck.

Nate forced himself to part from Bay, his eyes were impossibly dark, breathing uneven. “We have the absolute worst timing. Mark my words, Baylor, one of these days I’m going to say fuck it to my duties and fuck you instead.”

He knew his face was red, he knew his eyes were wide. He knew he was afraid to hurt Nate. But right now Bay would gladly burn in hell to stay with Nate. Fuck, he’d even let the Mother roast him alive, personally. His voice was a little too loud in his ears. “I expect you to keep that promise.”

* * *

“Relax, Tarus,” The male said. His voice was filled with impatience. “I can’t ink properly with your muscles locked so much.  _Relax_.”

“I’m trying.” His breath had turned shallow, his eyes fixed on a spot somewhere in front of him. His knuckles white from clutching the stool, keeping himself from ripping the male’s throat out or running.

“Try  _harder_.” The male said, “I have others I need to get done.”

The harder he tried to relax himself, the harder the tremors went through him, the more his muscles locked into place. The High Lord appeared in front of him and Tarus almost jumped in his skin. He instinctively bowed his head, his hair fell in front of his eyes.

“Put your shirt on. Your tattoo has been taken care of.’ The High Lord said.

“High Lord-”

Rhysand turned his starry eyes to the tattoo artist. “Did I give you permission to speak? I said it’s been taken care of. The next time you speak out of turn you will find yourself without the mind to do so.” The inker paled and the High Lord returned to face him. 

“Tarus,” He said after the inker left. “Look at me.”

He made himself look up at him, the High Lord’s face was an elegantly cruel mask; his eyes scanning the coils of scars around his throat and arms; his eyes flashing disdain. “What is it about you that has not one, not two, but four of my warriors vouching for you? An outcast of the Dawn Court who had set out to murder a promising Illyrian for allegations against your sister?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

Rhysand blinked. “You really don’t know, do you?” He leaned against the wall, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I am not going to force you to get tattooed. I suggest you thank the Mother for the gift your friends are giving you.” Tarus blinked and Rhysand had vanished.

Tarus let out a breath, the tremors in his arms started to ebb away. Who did it? Who asked the High Lord to intervene on his behalf?

* * *

Blake sat still as the stars were filled in on his chest. His eyes were on Aurora, her eyes on the different designs the inker had laid out. “You want a tattoo, Sweetheart? I think we can make an exception for you.” Her deeply tanned skin with Illyrian writing...oh Cauldron he loved the thought of that.

Aurora flicked her eyes at him, shrugging, “I already have one.”

Blake rose his brows, scanning her arms and collarbone, the band of skin separating her clothing. Nothing. Maybe it’s behind the column of inky black hair. “ _Where_?”

She smiled, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he blurted. “Yes I  _would_.”

She sighed, pulling her hair over her shoulder, revealing the smooth skin of her neck and throat. Cauldron she was going to be the death of him. He needed to get a grip before it became obvious how much he wanted her.

“I suppose you’ll have to use your imagination.” She turned to him, her eyes met his. “Or is your creativity damaged from one to many hits to the head?”

“You,” he said, “have a wicked mouth.” He liked it. “Are you mean to everyone, or am I a special case?”

She shrugged, “Just males whose heads are too big for their shoulders.”

He snorted, earning him a glare from the inker. “That’s all of them.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Finished,” The inker said.

Aurora surveyed the tattoos at his shoulders, her dark eyes traveling down to the three stars over his heart. Her fingers traced the pink skin around the newly filled in stars. Her eyes flicked up, meeting his. He grinned at her, “Like what you see?”

She pulled away, no blush stained her cheeks. She tilted her head, that inky hair spilling down, down, down. “Still deciding.”

He leaned back on his elbows, giving Aurora a lazy grin. “Most girls like what they see. Even Dacia thinks I’m pretty. But I suppose you’re different.”

She crossed her arms, “Because I’m your mate?”

“No, because you aren’t impressed.”

A cool smile sat on her lips. “You mean there’s something to be impressed by?”

“You aren’t impressed by me or my ranking or my looks. You see a  _challenge_ , a worthy opponent that will finally make you work for a win.” He leaned toward her. “You like the idea of putting me in my place  I am exactly your type, Aurora Luxmea.” He leaned back. “And it has nothing to do with being mates. You like the challenge, the verbal sparring. The physical sparring. You are going to fall for me because you see in me what you value most.”

Her hand rested on his sternum, her eyes directly on him.“And what is that,Blake? What do I value most?”

He leaned toward her, his face inches from her. “Bravery. Fairness, loyalty. Cunning and kindness. Compassion, a selfless desire to protect those who can’t protect themselves. And a sense of ruthlessness to their enemies” His fingers curled over hers. “And the ability to back it all up.”

Her eyes raked down and back up. Calculating and cool. His heart was uneven beneath her fingers. “Is that what you are? Are you all those wonderfully beautiful things, Blake?”

She slid back from him, her arms crossed as if she hadn’t touched him. As if she hadn’t been mere inches from him face. If he was standing he would have fallen to his knees. She flipped back her hair from her shoulder. “I suppose only time will tell if you are these things or if you are just trying to get into my pants.”

Oh, he liked her. He liked her  _alot_. Most would be fawning over him by now, weak in their knees and wanting him inside them. This girl, this Aurora, his mate, she wasn’t fazed one bit by him or his smile. “I think I would like to be your friend, Aurora.”

She studied him, looking for the deception he knew wasn’t there. Her eyes rested on his, her beautiful inky hair her almost fell over her face before she tucked it back. He fought to be the one to do it, to touch her skin, to find that hidden tattoo. Instead he leaned back, his elbow resting on the table behind him. “I think I would like that,” she said. She turned to leave. Before she was out the door, she turned back to him. “There are worse things than being your mate.” He was only twenty percent sure he wasn’t gaping at her.

He could hear her laugh down the hall. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. She won this round.

* * *

Dacia had heard the entire thing. Oh Cauldron, she liked Aurora. She brought Blake, her best friend, the male who was so arrogant and cocky, who had killed thirty males not even three days before, to his knees with a few touches and batted eyes and pretty words. Dacia hooked elbows with Aurora. The female was smiling and Dacia thought she looked beautiful. Where Aurora had the build of a dancer or a fighter, she had curves and stripes on her skin. “You are going to kill him, you know that? He is going to be a gooey mess of boy parts and be completely useless as a best friend.”

Aurora snorted, “You mean he’s not completely useless already?”

“I keep him around as a pretty fixture and for colorful commentary.” She leaned into Aurora. “He’s crazy about you, you know? It has nothing to do with you being his mate. I’ve never seen him like that.”

Aurora sighed. “It doesn’t matter, Dacia. I’m supposed to marry your infuriating little brother.”

“Ash isn’t that bad.”

Aurora rose a brow, “Oh? He just pisses people off for the hell of it?”

“He doesn’t want to marry you. He wants to marry for love a long, long time from now. I think you and he would be friends in another life.” Disbelief was sketched on Aurora’s face. “Don’t get me wrong, Ash is arrogant and mouthy and has a temper. But when it comes down to it, you want him on your side. There’s a reason Bay went to hell and back to get to him.”

Dacia turned to her. Aurora was a few inches shorter than her. The female carried herself with a lethal grace she herself was still trying to master. “We’ll find a way around this. It’s my job as Blake’s best friend to see him happy. And my job as your new friend to see you happy too. And as Ash’s sister, his happiness is important to me most of all. It may be weeks from now or even years, but I promise you, I’ll get you and Ash out of this.”

* * *

Oh Cauldron, Baylor was going to be the death of him. That male, with all his faults, he may be inexperienced, may not know anything about relationships, may be insecure but, fuck. He did not expect that to come out of Baylor’s mouth. Why did he keep suprising him? He knew every piece of history and habit and disability of him. Still, he surprised him just by opening his mouth. 

Over a year of dancing around each other with only Baylor’s closed sexuality between them, now the only thing between them was Baylor’s insecurities and fear of being forgotten. Nate planned to wipe out those the first chance he got. Fuck, there was no way he could forget that male. He was permanently seared into his mind and heart and he welcomed the idea of making up for lost time.

But first came the Blood Rite, first came the tattoos and the swearing in. Then, then, he-they-could get what they had both been wanting forever. Each other. Baylor was his and he would hold onto him with bleeding knuckles.

He could feel Baylor’s eyes on him as he finished the forgotten sketch. “Do you have options I can look at?” Bayor’s voice was a little too high.

“Yes,” He flicked his eyes up from Baylor’s lips. “I know what you like.” He grinned at the flat stare Baylor was giving him. “You expect me to believe that you relinquished control over something that would be forever engrained into your skin? I don’t think so. I made you different designs but this one,” he tapped the paper. “I think you would like the most. It’s clean lined and monochromatic. Elegant and simple. Very you.”

“Are you saying I am simple?” Baylor’s face was amused.

Nate snorted, “You are anything but simple.” He touched the paper with two fingers and slid them to Baylor. “What do you think?”

Baylor’s eyes were calculating, his ashy hair falling over his eyes. He kept his fingers off him, to let him think. Bay looked up at him, his eyes were wide. “Yes. This one.” Nate had told a manic Baylor about the different symbologies in art. Despite him being scattered brain at the time, Baylor had seemed to retain alot of the information. “Where should I get it?”

Nate blinked. “You want  _my_ opinion?”

Baylor rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I mean you already have tattoos. I thought you would know more about placement than I do.” Uh huh. Baylor, mister I must know everything under the stars, doesn’t know about tattoo placement.  _Sure_ he didn’t.

Nate studied Baylor’s small frame with a professional efficiency before before he brushed the nape of Baylor’s neck, gooseflesh beneath his fingers. “Here.” The male brought his shoulders up, fighting a smile. “Ticklish Baylor?”

The male glared at him, “Yes, you  _prick_.”

He grinned at him. “Let’s go get inked.”


	34. Blood of Passage: Part Eighteen

_Adrien lowered to his haunches, taking the male’s chin into his fingers. He forced the male’s hazel eyes to meet his. His free hand caressed the talon on his wing. His fingers latching on, the pain in the male’s eyes replaced by fear. “Please,” he panted. “Please, not my wings.”_

_He shook his head, erecting himself, a hand through his black hair. “You put yourself here, Adrien. Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time? Giving people the benefit of the doubt is what got yourself ruined the first time.” Adrien gave him a razor sharp grin before ripping the talon clean off. “Now let’s see if Mazakynn will love you still.”_

* * *

HIs eyes snapped open at the heat burning in his arm. He had the male at the throat, his teeth bared before he realized who it was. “Ash?” He released him, his fingers still talons against shredded sheets. “What are you doing here? Did you burn me? I could have killed you.” His words came out sluggish and he shook his head, palming his eyes, getting his bearings.

Ash sprawled in the chair across from him, a hand on his fist, his eyes focused unnervingly on him. He wasn’t on the ground, he must be able to sense him through the damage in his wings. “Oh, Adrien. One, I’m here to keep my stoned cousin from jumping off a cliff. Two, I burned you because you wouldn’t wake up and you were screaming yourself hoarse. Three, right now you couldn't kill a five year old human infant.” He gestured to Adrien, But  _please_ kill me so my father can put you out of your misery.”

* * *

 

“Last I checked Ash Aceros- Archern-  _whatever_ your last name is, I’m older than you. Your snarky attitude doesn’t work on me.” Cauldron he couldn’t speak today. The tonic must have worked a little too well, he couldn’t feel any pain in his wings.  “You talk to Baylor? I mean Bay?” he frowned. “Why does he not like his name? It’s nice.”

Unease flashed on Ash’s face as he put his feet up on Adrien’s bed. “No, not yet.”

Adrien cocked his head, assessing Ash, “You are avoiding him.”

Ash glared at him, “No, I’m not.”

“Uh huh,” Nate came in the room, his eyes were pinned on Ash. A chill went down Adrien’s spine at the look his brother was giving thier cousin. It was cold enough to rival Cyrian. “The Blood Rite is over which means Bay can put his focus on  _you_ and chew you out for your stupid stunts that almost caused another war.  

“He won’t say it so I will, you are a shitty friend, Ash. He stretched himself so thin that he ended up have a mental breakdown in the one place where emotions got you killed.” Ash’s face bordered between anger and palement. Nate’s words had an effect on the male, they struck deep.  

“If Baylor had died and I lost him, it would be on your head. Your best friend, Ash, the male who sees you as a brother, broke down because his grief and lack of sleep caught up with him.” Adrien didn’t know just how bad Bay had fallen apart. He knew that the male internalized everything until it became too much and he broke apart. He wasn’t mad that Nate chose Bay over him, in fact he was happy for both of them. 

“He wouldn’t have snapped if he didn’t spend three weeks trying to find you on no sleep. And then another week making up for three weeks of training. That is thirty days of work in seven. You need to figure out why you deserve Baylor. He will never walk away from you and you know it. His loyalty to you will get him killed.” Nate was sarcastic and a relatively kind person. But the way he laid out Ash, holy  _shit_. He didn’t know if it was the drugs or if Nate was actually being territorial. 

Ash shot up, the temperature in the room hitting near boiling. Ash was getting pissed. Didn’t take much. “Fuck you, Nate. I-”

“‘I’  _what_?” Adrien said. “You know he’s right. You are only pissed because you know that what you did started something that we're all going to clean up. I just hope that Bay doesn’t become the collateral damage between you and your stupidity.” If something happened to Bay it would destroy his brother. He could not let that happen. Would not let that happen.

“She is  _dead_!” Ash’s voice cracked. “I couldn’t save her! I tried everything when she died-”

“Everything,” Nate said coolly. “But stay with your family or talk to someone. Instead you went to the High Lord of the Dawn Court. You  _knew_ Thesan would kill you if he got the chance. You  _wanted_ him to kill you. You wanted your suffering to end and to not have to hold up the ends of your promises. You were willing to let your family and Baylor crash and burn if it meant ending your own pain. You were willing to let thousands die in a war caused by your death.”

“That’s  _not_ true,” Ash seethed. His shadows betrayed Ash’s lie. Ash had wanted to die for his guilt and he didn’t care about the consequences of his actions. Not only would his family and Bay be destroyed, it would have invited war to the Spring and Autumn Court.

“Then why are my shadows betraying your lies? Why are you crying? You wanted to die and you were willing to let everyone suffer if it meant escaping.” Nate stood toe to toe with Ash despite being a few inches shorter. Despite Ash being able to burn his brother from the inside out or stop his heart with a snap of his magic. “You were willing to let your brother kill himself trying to get to you.”

Ash flinched.

“You and I both know Baylor would follow you into hell and you let him break. He would never leave you because he can’t walk away from those he loves. He won’t, not the way he was left. He is terrified of being seen the way he sees himself. He has been your best friend for the past eight years and he’s still afraid you will look at him and decide to leave.” Nate shook his head. “You did to him the one thing he is afraid of. You left.”

Sweat beaded Adrien’s arms, heat pulsed through the room. Oh this was going to get  _ugly_. “Nate-”

Nate only had eyes for Ash and they were black and glittering, his shadows twisting around him, growing darker and darker. “You are lucky we are related, Ash. So  _fucking_ lucky. Otherwise I would-”

“ _Nathaniel_.”

His brother blinked, his chest falling and rising unsteadily. The territorial side to Nate was not something to mess with. He turned to Adrien, his eyes slowly returning to normal. “I was told to come and get you for your tattoo. Get your ass up.”

He pulled off the shredded covers and stood shakily. His wings were still heavily bound with new bandages and salves. He was supposed to get his tattoo during the time he let his wings breathe. He glanced at his brother. “You helping me move? Are you bride-carrying me? If so, baby brother, I suggest you get a move on. I could have grandchildren by the time you get to me.”

Nate rolled his eyes. “Please, we all know if any of us are having kids, it’s you first. And it wouldn’t be on purpose.”

The temperature in the room started to fall as Ash snorted. “Is Bay with the tattooer?”

Nate turned to Ash, his face turning to granite once again. “Not yet, he’s waiting for me.”

“Are you and Bay together?” Ash asked.

Nate crossed his arms and rose his chin, “Why don’t you ask him when you get your head out of your ass and apologize to him for trying to get yourself killed?”

Ash gave him a flat look, “Why don’t I just ask  _you_? You’re right here.”

“Because my hotheaded idiot of a cousin,” Nate grinned sharply, “I am close to snapping your neck for putting Baylor and not one, not two, but four courts into chaos.”

Ash opened his mouth and Adrien interrupted him. “Nate, let’s go before I end up passing out.”

Ash glared at them, “The next time Maze asks me to stay with you I’m going to push you off a cliff instead.”

Ash pushed past them both, leaving his room. Adrien turned to Nate, “Wow, Nate. Just  _wow_. Was that a full castration or was it just one of the balls? Fuck that was harsh.”

Nate glared at him, “Oh shut up. You would have done the exact same thing if it was Maze that went after one of her friends.”

He put his arm around Nate’s shoulders, letting his brother take up his weight. Nate’s darkness wrapped around them and they winnowed.

* * *

Dacia smiled at Bay. “So  _Nate_ is why you wouldn’t talk to any of my lady friends. I thought my gaydar was so good. Obviously it’s broken.” Bay’s ears flushed and he rolled his eyes. Dacia bit into her apple, studying him. “You are so adorable. I can see why Nate liiikes you. Why he loooves you.”

He glared at her, his ears redder. “I am not adorable. Stop it.”

Blake grinned, “Aw Baby Bay is so adorable.”

Aurora snorted. Bay looked at her, “I feel bad for you. You have to deal with this idiot as your mate.” Blake glared at him. He smirked back, “What? It’s true.”

“At least I can reach the top shelf, shorty.”

“At least I have actual information in my head and don’t use my brain as a paper weight.”

Dacia and Aurora started laughing. Blake grinned at him sharply, “Baby Baylor has teeth.”

His eyes snapped at him and his tone turned to solid ice. “Do not call me that.” Dacia frowned.

“Why do you let Nate call you that?” Blake was baiting him. Don’t react- “Is it because you want his-” Oh shit.

Bay’s fist connected with Blake’s stomach, knocking the air out of his lungs. Dacia kept her hand on Aurora’s knee, keeping her seated. Dacia whispered to Aurora, “Down girl, they’re like this all the time.” Aurora glared at her.

Bay glared at Blake.“Don’t talk about him like that. He’s your brother.”

Blake had his hands on his knees, coughing, “I deserved that.”

Bay sat back down, crossing his arms. “Yes you did.”

Aurora’s eyebrows shot up, her eyes meeting Dacia’s. “ _Are_ they always like this?”

Dacia sighed, taking another bite of her apple. “Yes, yes they are. A bunch of brutes is what these people are. At least I have the sensibility to look elsewhere for a date. These Illyrians are going to kill out their population if they keep going like this.”

Blake righted himself, a hand to his stomach. “That’s just mean, Princess. Here I thought you liked me.”

She snorted, “In your dreams, Pretty Boy.”

Blake gave Aurora a lazy smile, “Told you she thought I was pretty.”

Aurora gave him a cool smile, “Are you sure I’m your mate? It would make more sense if a mirror was instead.”

Blake leaned against the table, his eyes on Aurora. “Oh I’m sure, Sweetheart.” Dacia almost rolled her eyes.

“Give us a break,” Dacia said. “Your pretty face isn’t going to work on any of us.”

“It would on Bay.” Bay’s face was priceless, the  _uh, no_  look on his face.

* * *

Nate winnowed in front of the others, still baring Adrien’s weight. “Excuse you, Blake. He’s mine. If you want a boyfriend I’d check with Cyrian or Zevakyn. This one is taken.” Baylor grinned at him.

Adrien’s laughter was slurred. “Cyrian and Blake. He’d make you his bitch.”

Dacia tilted her head, “Cyrian Infernos and Blake? That would end with a room destroyed. Too bad Blake is the straightest person alive.” Oh Cauldron, him and Cyrian would end with someone dead or bleeding. Adrien started to laugh.

Baylor’s eyebrows it his hairline, “What the hell did did they give him?”

Adrien grinned at Baylor, “Everything.”

“He took a nap, took most of the edge off. Although he’s a little dumber than usual, he can get his tattoo. I think he’s so doped up he wouldn’t even feel the pain.” He held out a hand. “Ready to go Baylor?”

“Why do you get to call him that?” Adrien asked. “Why can’t I?” He turned to Baylor, “You don’t get to call me Ade anymore if I can’t call you Baylor. It’s just not polite.”

Baylor rolled his eyes and took Nate’s hand as darkness wrapped around them and winnowed them to the tattoo artist.

* * *

A knock hit the door and Maze pulled her shirt back on, the skin neath her breast sensitive from the new inking. “You can come in Nate, my girly parts are all covered up. Just finished the inking.” The swirl of stars, the Night Court insignia rested on her skin, all that remained was getting sworn in.

The boys came into the room and Maze sighed at Adrien, “My poor boyfriend. Now he is as useless as he is pretty.” She turned to the artist, “Can you do him next?”

The artist grunted, “Might as well.”  _Dick_.

She took Adrien’s arm and sat him down, “Sit still and let him ink you. Then you are going back upstairs to sleep off your high.”

Adrien grinned at her. He was so high that he didn’t feel his pain. He was so high he didn’t care. When he came down from that high, he was going to crash and burn. “You going to join me?”

She smiled at him, “In your dreams, Adrien”

He stiffened, a shadow passed over his eyes before the drugged haze came back.

Carefully she began to remove his bindings. Adrien kept his eyes closed, his fingers thrumming his legs. His shoulders were tense though, he was fighting the instinct to attack her for touching his injured wings. She sighed.

“Ready?” She asked.

“Always,” said Adrien.

* * *

Zevakyn studied Tarus, the male ran a finger over the smoothed Kilij sword. A sword meant for the Dawn Court, the male’s true home. “Reminiscing or planning on killing everyone?”

Tarus looked up at him, the khol lining his eyes made the gold more brown. “Why can’t it be both?”

Zev gave the male a crooked grin, “I hope you save me for last. I’d hate to have to die so soon after everything that’s happened between you and me.”

Tarus studied him, “What ‘you and me’? There is no you and me. The only thing between us is a forced healing. By the way, if you try to take my blood again it will make you an addict and a monster. I’d suggest forgetting about me before you try to take another hit.” Forget about him? Zev didn’t think that was possible. 

“We’re all monsters Tarus. What matters is who we show our claws to and why we do it. But I would never take your blood from you. I’m not one of those males who doesn’t understand the word ‘no.’”

The way Tarus was studying him, it was as if he were stipping him bare, finding the lie or hidden meaning to his words. Tarus handed him his sword, “Do you know how to wield this?”

Zev blinked, taking the sword from him. “Some,” he admitted. “It’s more of a dawn court weapon than an Illyrian one. But I know the basics of it, why?”

Tarus grinned at him. It was the most wicked smile he had ever seen on the male. “I’m going to teach you how to wield them.”

* * *

Cyrian pulled his shirt over his head as he entered the room. He gave the inker a cool look. “Don’t fuck this up.”

The male nodded and motioned for him to come sit down. Cyrian has had many tattoos done in his life but not this, not the Night Court Insignia for the sworn in members of the Night Court Illyrian forces.

He let the male clean his shoulder. He let the male ink it. It didn’t hurt, not when he has had his mother’s Training.  Not when he has tattoos that cover up his scars.

“Finished. Would you like a mirror?”

“No, I’ll look later. If it turned out bad I know where you live and I’ll take off your hands so you can’t fuck up another tattoo.”

He pulled on his shirt and left the artist, most likely wondering if he should move.

* * *

“Cyrian!”

He turned around, Maze and Adrien were walking toward him. Well, mostly Maze was holding up Adrien. They must have just gotten their tattoos done. “ _What_?”

“Are you okay?” Maze asked. “You disappeared off the radar. I was worried about you.”

“I’m fine. You are down a brother by the way. I spent the last three days torturing and killing him. You’re welcome. Maybe now you will get to be the Batalis heir now that your useless brother is no longer breathing.”

“And the fourth day?” She asked. Her amber eyes were unnervingly suspicious. “I’m guessing with your dear mother?”

He ignored her and turned to Adrien, “Need pain medication to move? Pathetic.”

Adrien grinned at him. “Easy for you to say, aren’t all your pain receptors fried by now?”

He rose a brow, “You’re fucking high.” Usually Adrien would just say ‘fuck off’ or try to fight him.

Maze sighed, “I know, I’m taking him to bed before his mouth gets him dead.”

He rolled his eyes and carried on.

From behind him he could hear Adrien laughing, “Glad you’re not dead Cyrian.”

Maze snorted, “Let’s not say things you don’t mean, Babe. It’ll get your ass in trouble.”

* * *

Nate leaned back against the bar, his elbows on it. He’s watch the inker, make sure he was precise and didn’t ruin Baylor’s tattoo. Cauldron help the bastard if Baylor’s neck got ruined.

Baylor was backwards on the chair, the only movements was his constant thrumbing fingers. The artist began by shaving off the hair on nape of his neck. Baylor stiffened, most likely trying to not squirm. Then the artist cleaned it and traced his design.

The symmetrical triangle at the base of his neck, the flames the rose out of it, turning into the star insignia of the night court. He told Baylor about art symbology, how triangles were associated with resiliency, the ability to get back up after being shoved down, about how flames would represent passionate people, people who can be so angry with the world and want to burn it down. People like Nesta and Montse, people like Baylor’s lost mothers. People like him.

“Speak now,” The artist said, “Do you want any color?”

Baylor paused for half a second. “Yes.”

“What color?” The artist was bored, most likely tired of how many people had inked that day. “Reds maybe? Or oranges?”

“No, purple. Just a little in the flames.”  He blinked. Purple?

“Very well,” he grunted. “What shade?”

“Thistle,” Nate said. “That’s the shade he wants.”

“Baylor?” The inker asked. “Is that what you want?”

Baylor stiffened at his name, but said, “Yes, that’s what I want.”

Nate knew what he was doing. Baylor was saying Nate was his. He was claiming him without saying it. He can’t say the words Nate want’s to hear, not right now, but he said it through this instead. Through this ink that would never go away. That would be on his body forever. It was better than the actual words. Nate grinned at the redding ears, at the back of Baylor’s head. The male was so dramatic.

* * *

Bay wasn’t stupid. He knew Nate would know why he got that color. What he was trying to say, what he felt. But Bay knew his own problems, that he couldn’t say the words, couldn’t admit it verbally, not now at least. He couldn’t open that door even though everyone knew it anyway. He hoped someday he would be brave enough to say them, until then, he hoped this would be enough.

He thrumbed the back of the chair, the needle biting his skin. He wanted to move, to get up and do something. But he forced himself to stay seated, to let the inker tattoo him. He trusted Nate to make sure the inker didn’t ruin the tattoo, didn’t fuck it up. If he could do it himself, he would.

 _Hurry up_ , he thought.  _I want to move_. He knew he was getting manic, wanting to do something. A thousand thoughts ran past his brain and Bay knew he should be out on the pitch, burning himself out of the mania that was making him twitchier than usual.  _Oh well_.

“Finished.”

“Let me see,” Bay said.

The inker held up a mirror to the back of Bay’s neck and he looked into the one in front of him. He could see the thistle, Nate’s favorite shade of purple resting in the bottom of the flames, the thistle right beneath the stars. He liked it. “Thank you.”

The artist grunted, bandaging his neck. “Remember the ointment. Don’t let it get dried out.” Bay refrained from rolling his eyes.


	35. Blood of Passage: Part Nineteen

Ash leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. Bay’s pulse was elevated but Ash could hear the thrumming of his fingers against the back of the chair. He could almost smell the anger directed at him, feel his eyes directly on him.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to run again?” Bay asked.

Ash pulled up a chair, his elbows on the back of it. “How was the Blood Rite?”

“Fine.” He knew Bay’s face was a forced calm. Knew that Bay was trying to keep his mouth shut. Too bad where Ash was concerned, he had the ability to piss everyone off without much of an effort.

“That’s it? Just fine? Nothing exciting happened?”

Bay leaned back on his elbows, his fingers thrumming the wood of the table. His voice was flat. “People died, I almost died. It’s called the Blood Rite, not the Let’s-Hold-hands-and-Talk-Our-Way-Out Rite. What did you think would happen? That I would get myself killed to end my pain?”

He winced.“Bay..I-”

“It’s fine, Ash.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes it is. As long as you don’t pull that stunt again, we’re fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“That’s your problem, not mine.”

    Ash glared at him. “I don’t know how it is in Bay Land but here in Prythian when someone says ‘they’re fine’ it’s quite the opposite.”

    Bay leaned forward, “Don’t you try to use psychobabble on me. You’re every bit as fucked up as I am.”

    Ash snorted, “No, I’m not. The only thing wrong with me is I’m blind, well, magically blind. I can still see….kind of.” He didn’t mind. He could still do everything everyone else did. With a few adjustments at least.

    “Oh really, that’s the only thing wrong with you? What about your kamikaze mission that almost got you killed?” There it was.

    “Are you going to yell at me? Tell me I was an idiot? Tell me that I was selfish and stupid?” Ash asked. “You know you want to. You want to be pissed at me. You are pissed at me. So yell at me, Bay. Threaten to break my neck if I so much as breathe wrong.”

    Bay’s blood pressure spiked. “No.”

    “Why not?”

    Bay snorted, “What’s the point? We both know you’ll end up doing something stupid and I will have to bail you out. Again. Same cycle, over and over again. Ash gets in trouble, Bay saves his ass. Ash insults someone, Bay apologizes to them. Over and over and over again. I don’t want to waste my breath when I know it wont do any good.”

    “Or maybe you don’t want me to get mad enough that I’ll walk away.”

Bay’s jaw clenched. “Drop it, Ash.”

“You are so fucked up in the head that you are afraid of everyone leaving. You want to tell me off but you won’t. You have a crippling fear of everyone leaving you so you toe the line and kiss everyone’s ass.”

“You keep talking to me like that and the Autumn Court will have to find themselves a new heir.”

“What’s wrong, Bay? Afraid I’m right? You want to tell me off?”

You want me to tell you off?” Bay’s voice was dangerously low. “Fine. You are a fucking idiot. An entitled brat who I have to babysit despite you being older than me, despite you having parents who would let you get away with murder. I’m sure the only punishment you got from your parents was a strongly worded warning? Maybe running a few drills?” Ash’s face paled. “I thought so. You almost bring war to your doorstep, you leave your pregnant mother, your pregnant aunts, to fall apart and Dacia and your family to pick up the pieces. You pull the Summer Court into your scheme to get to the Dawn Court. I deal with war and pain and ruin every second of every day but Little Ash Archeron can’t deal with not being able to twist reality to save his aunt who I lost too!.” Bay’s blood pressure was through the roof, his voice was shattered ice. “I lost her too, but I didn’t run away from my problems. I stayed with your family because they needed me but you, you who has everything, you ran away from it all. You piss me off to no end but still I am your friend.”

“Why. If half the shit I do pisses you off so much, why am I your friend?”

“Damn it, Ash! I am not doing this with your ass.”

He leaned forward, “If I was your friend, you would have told me you were gay. You would have told me you were in love with Nate.” Bay’s pulse increased, his fingers stopped thrumming. His focus was snapped on him. “I have to get told off by your boyfriend because you were too much of a coward to do it yourself.”

Bay inhaled sharply, “Leave. You already did it once.”

Ash grinned, “Make me.”

    Bay moved too fast for him to track it with his magic. Ash’s head hit the floor and Bay had his hand on Ash’s throat. Ash could feel Bay’s breath, he knew the male’s teeth were bared. Bay snarled, “You do not get to judge me, you entitled ginger ass. You don’t know half the shit I have been through. The things that I still see when I close my eyes”

    “Too late,” he gasped. “You’re judged.” Say it, damn it. You know you want to.

    A low whistle came from behind him. Ash looked up at the voice, Bay’s hand still around his throat. Nate. “I seem to have interrupted something. You want me to go distract the rest of my family? Maybe say you were with me when my dear cousin died from mysterious circumstances?”

    Bay got off of him, his fingers curling around Ash’s collar, pulling him up. “Get out,” Bay said. “I don’t want to see your face.”

    “No,” said Ash, rubbing his throat. “You like my face.” Nate groaned, Bay growled.

    “Fine, then I will. You left last time. You left your family and you left me. This time, I’m walking from you before I rip your head off with my hands.” Bay was pissed. Holy shit was he pissed. “I don’t want to do something I regret. The next time I see you, you better not have a suicide wish.”

    Nate shook his head, “Damn it, Ash. You got to stop picking fights with people who could kill you.”

    Ash snorted. “Bay couldn’t kill me.” He could stop the male’s heart beat with half a thought, he could burn him from the inside out. “He’s too afraid of being alone.”

    Bay turned around slowly. “Do you really want to test out that theory? Maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet with your ass six feet under.” To far. Ash had gone too far

    “Okay,” Nate said loudly. “Baylor you are coming with me. Ash, shut the fuck up, you asshole. The next time something like that comes out of your mouth, I’ll rip your tongue out. Then we’ll see if you can grow a new one with that fancy healing of yours.”

* * *

“You want to talk about it?” Nate asked, after a while. Ash laid out Baylor’s deepest fear and Baylor was acting as if it never happened. If Ash wasn’t his cousin, if Baylor didn’t see the male as a brother, he would shatter every bone in the male’s body.

“Nope.”

Baylor surveyed the hallway, from the stone walls to the burning lights to the empty hall way before he turned his eyes onto Nate. Baylor pinned Nate against the wall, his hand hard against his chest. Nate could feel the heat and heaviness of Baylor’s hand holding him in place. Nate started, “Are you doing what I-”

    Baylor had his hand over Nate’s mouth, his eyes were dark, almost a deadly shade of pine green. His eyes were unguarded and his ears were red. But he held his ground, despite Nate towering over him.  Nate rose his eyebrows as Bayor lowered his hand from Nate’s mouth, “Yes or no?”

    Nate blinked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

    “Don’t be stupid.” Baylor’s eyes mapped Nate’s body, learning every edge and curve. He tilted his head, his ashy hair falling over his eyes. “Is that a no then?”

    “Fuck no,” Nate said. “It’s not a no. It’ll always be a yes with-”

    Baylor’s lips were on his, and Nate threw his shadows around them, keeping them unseen from prying eyes. Baylor kissed him as if it was the last, as if he would lose him in the next moment. As if he were memorizing Nate’s body.

    Nate’s hands were in Baylor’s hair, careful of the newly healing tattoo just at the nape of the male’s neck. He wasn’t sure if he tasted blood but he knew his lips were bruised. He wasn’t sure if he were breathing. He did know that Baylor’s eyes were dark, that his breathing was dense, that every rational thought in his head had gone out the window.

    Baylor’s hand moved from Nate’s chest, to his waist. Baylor was dangerous and a little vicious and he was his. And if he kept going, Nate’s shadows were going to start to dissipate, leaving them open for everyone to see. Baylor’s finger’s edged the hem of Nate’s shirt, his skin briefly against Nate’s and it was hot.

    Baylor pressed into him, unmovable and solid. His other arm hooked around Nate’s neck, pulling him in further, harder. Nate’s mouth was on Baylor’s jaw, the male’s hand now resting on Nate’s abdomen, sending fire through his veins.

    The sound of laces being pulled apart filled Nate’s ears and his vision snapped into focus. Baylor’s ears were dark red but his eyes were steady, if a little nervous. Nate almost gaped, Baylor was going to get him off in the middle of a hallway.

    Baylor wouldn’t be doing something like his if he was thinking clearly. The male must be manic as fuck if he was going to do something like this. He grabbed Baylor’s wrist, “Not here.” The rest of Baylor’s face went red and Nate amended, “We’re going to my room.”

* * *

Somewhere between the hall and Nate’s bed they both lost their shirts. Bay had been in Nate’s bedroom before, had sat on Nate’s bed reading while the other sketched. He’d been in there to pull Nate out of bed to train. He hadn’t been in his room like this, not in this context. Somehow it made everything surreal.

Nate gripped Bay’s chin forcing him to look up at him. Nate’s eyes were dark, “We’re not having sex.”

    Bay blinked, “Why not?”

    Nate pushed him against the bed, “Because when I make you come I want you in the right state of mind. It’s no fun when you are manic enough you were willing to get me off in the hallway. When you were angry enough you were going to kill your best friend.” Realization was starting to dawn on him, on what exactly Bay was going to do in the hallway, what he almost did to Ash. Nate stopped him, both times. Cauldron he was an idiot. “I want Baylor, not the manic side or the depressed side that first time. I want you.”

    Bay’s hand was still on Nate’s chest. He could could feel the heat from Nate’s skin through his shirt. “What do you want to do instead?”

    Nate grinned at him, “I said no sex but that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you, can’t shut down your racing thoughts with my teeth and tongue.”

    Bay grinned at him, “Think you can? They’re pretty fast.”

    “I know I can.” Nate said. “You underestimate my abilities, Baylor.”

    Bay snorted, pulling Nate down on top of him. Nate’s thighs hugged Bay’s sides, the male’s hands in his hair. Bay bit Nate’s lip. He wasn’t sure if he tasted blood. The thought faded as Nate’s tounge scraped the roof of Bay’s mouth.

    Bay pulled the leather strap from Nate’s hair, the loose strands falling free around Nate, grazing Bay’s face. His fingers gripped Nate’s hair. How many times had he thought of this? Thought of those dark strands pulled up behind Nate’s head, revealing the delicate points of his ears, the golden cuffed earing hugging Nate’s right ear.

    Bay’s nails dug into Nate’s neck, pulling him down harder. Nate’s lips were on Bay’s jaw, the male’s slender fingers gripped Bay’s side, the other pinning Bay’s free hand above him.

Bay’s mouth was on Nate’s neck, his teeth aching. He wanted to bite him and he blinked. He hadn’t bitten anyone before. Not even that girl he had slept with.

    “Go on,” Nate said. “You know you want to.”

    “And if I rip your throat out?”

    Nate looked down at him, his hair grazing Bay’s face. “Then I die happy.”

    Bay pushed Nate over, his thighs hugging Nate’s waist. Nate’s hands rested on Bay’s hips. He looked down at him, “Key word there, Nathaniel. 'Die.'”

    Nate snorted, “You got to practice somehow. Would you rather practice on a pillow? I think I would taste better than a pile of feathers.”

    His ears heated, “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

    “Ah, but I’m your idiot.”

His eyes darted from Nate's eyes, his lips, his throat. His teeth ached, Nate's pulse was steady beneath his hand. He was trusting Bay to not to rip out his throat, to not kill him. How could he trust him to not do something like that? He didn't know what he was doing, he-

    “Stop thinking,” Nate ordered. “Just do it.”

    Nate angled his head, exposing his tanned throat and true to his word, the racing thoughts evaporated from Bay’s head.

    He leaned in, moving Nate's hair to the side, his lips on Nate's throat. The pulse was rapid beneath his lips. Not from fear but from him, the way Bay was affecting Nate.

    His canines grazed the skin. “Go on, you're doing great,” Nate said. He almost snorted.

    His teeth slid into Nate's flesh, the male’s fingers were buried in Bay's hair.  Nate hardened beneath him, his back arched as the rush of blood filled Bay’s mouth. A moan was in the bottom of his throat at the taste. Bay's tongue slid over the puncture wounds, staunching the flow of blood.

    Nate groaned beneath him and he froze. “Did I do it wrong?”

    Nate looked back up at him, his eyes black, “No, no you didn't.”

    Tension unraveled in Bay's chest. “Then what's wrong?” He blinked. He knew exactly what was wrong. He grinned at Nate.

    “I'm regretting not fucking you. I don't think I can stand up.”

Considering how hard Nate was beneath him, no. No he could not.

    “You're the one who said no,” he reminded.

    “Don't remind me,” Nate groaned.

    “I can do something about that,” Bay said, his ears burning. “If you want.”

    Nate’s eyes snapped to his. His pupils engulfed the chocolate brown irises. “ _Please_.”

* * *

Nate’s heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. He hadn’t been this hard in his life and all Baylor did was bite him. But Baylor’s teeth, baylor’s tongue, his hand pinning Nate’s to the mattress. Everything about him made Nate want him. It drove him out of his mind.

The sound of the rest of those laces being undone filled his ears, Baylor’s eyes were locked onto his, the male’s ears and cheeks stained red. The male wasn’t able to control his blushing.

His lips worked to the side of his cock, his mouth on the head of him. Baylor’s pupils were large, his eyes questioning if he should continue.“Yes,” Nate groaned, his hands in the male’s hair. “Keep going.”

Baylor’s tongue pressed into the split, Nate’s hands gripped Bay’s hair harder. His tongue traced the tip hard enough Nate groaned, his thighs tighter around Baylor’s shoulders. The male’s hand pinned Nate to the bed, as if he were capable of going anywhere. When really, he was close to having his eyes roll in the back of his head.

Baylor’s tongue ran down his cock and kissed Nate at the base of it. His hand replaced his mouth, the male’s fingers curled around him, stroking him. Baylor’s lips traveled up his chest to Nate’s mouth.

His breathing had turned shallow and Nate knew he was close. Baylor must have as well, he smiled into Nate’s lips. Baylor continued to work him after Nate reached his completion.

* * *

Nate laid limp on his bed, Bay laid beside him, his fingers thrumming Nate’s chest. Nate turned to him, “Cauldron, I love you.”

Bay kissed him, “The swearing in ceremony is in two hours. You should take a shower.” There weren’t many showers in Prythian, most people preferred a bath instead of having to stand to cleanse themselves, Bay supposed Nate wasn’t one of them.

“You going to join me?”

Bay snorted. “Just go.”

Bay closed his eyes, after awhile he heard the water running. He imagined Nate peeling off what clothing remained, deciding how hot he wanted the water, whether or not to pull Bay into the shower with him. Nate deciding to let him sleep or what passed as sleep for him. Him climbing into the shower, the idea of Bay finally sleeping satisfying him.

Bay got up from the bed, peeling off the rest of his clothes.

Nate turned to him, pulling back his soaked hair from his eyes, his eyes raking his body. He grinned, “So you are joining me?”

Bay stepped into the water, his skin and wings pelted by warm water. “Don’t be stupid.” He pulled Nate’s face down to his, the water making it hard to grip the sides of it. Nate’s hands gripped Bay’s hips, pulling him flush against his torso.

Nate’s mouth rested on Bay’s neck, kissing the tattoo that claimed the male as his. His teeth slid into Bay’s neck, Bay’s fingers tangled in Nate’s soaking hair. Nate’s arm rested at the base of Bay’s wings, at he small of his back, pulling Bay up.

Bay’s arm wrapped around Nate’s neck, his other propping against the shower wall, his legs around the male’s torso. The water pelted his wings and back, Nate ran a lathered rag down Bay’s back and Bay ran his tongue dowe Nate’s throat, kissing him where he had previously bit him.

* * *

Nate studied Baylor piece together the rest of his uniform, the blackness of it making his hair lighter, his eyes darker, those freckles stark against his skin. Bay looked up at him, “What?”

He tucked back his hair, “Nothing. Just admiring a piece of art.”

 Baylor snorted, “You are an idiot. Here, let me fix your hair. The ceremony is outside and you can’t have all that in your face.”

Baylor’s fingers combed through Nate’s hair. He was careful, soft as if he were handling eggshells. The male twisted it, tying it up to the top of Nate’s head, securing it with a leather strap.

“Ready?” Bay asked.

Nate took his hand, “I was born ready.”

Baylor laced their fingers, “Oh please.”

* * *

Ash waited for Bay by the entrance for the swearing in. He could smell Nate on Bay, intertwined with his scent. “Bay.”

 The male stopped, “What do you want. I’m still pissed at you.”

 “I’m sorry.”

 “Oh really? For what? Calling me a coward? Using psychobabble on me? Running after Nesta and the baby died? Oh I know, baiting me while I was manic so I would kill you?” Bat closed in on him, “You knew I was manic. You know I can barely control my mouth when I get pissed like that. If Nate didn’t stop me, you would be dead and I would have had to live with the knowledge that I had killed my brother. You don’t get to just say I’m sorry and pretend like everything's okay. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Bay-”

“No, Ash. You left, so now I’m leaving you so I can get sworn in. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bay.”

“ _What._ ”

“All of it. I’m sorry for all of it.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”


	36. Blood of Passage: Part Twenty

Ash leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. Bay’s pulse was elevated but Ash could hear the thrumming of his fingers against the back of the chair. He could almost smell the anger directed at him, feel his eyes directly on him.

“Are you going to come in or are you going to run again?” Bay asked.

Ash pulled up a chair, his elbows on the back of it. “How was the Blood Rite?”

“Fine.” He knew Bay’s face was a forced calm. Knew that Bay was trying to keep his mouth shut. Too bad where Ash was concerned, he had the ability to piss everyone off without much of an effort.

“That’s it? Just fine? Nothing exciting happened?”

* * *

Bay leaned back on his elbows, his fingers thrumming the wood of the table. His voice was flat. “People died, I almost died. It’s called the Blood Rite, not the Let’s-Hold-hands-and-Talk-Our-Way-Out Rite. What did you  _think_ would happen? That I would get myself killed to end my pain?”

He winced.“Bay..I-”

“It’s fine, Ash.”

“No, it’s not.”

“ _Yes_ it is. As long as you don’t pull that stunt again, we’re  _fine_.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“That’s your problem, not mine.”

Ash glared at him. “I don’t know how it is in Bay Land but here in Prythian when someone says ‘they’re fine’ it’s quite the opposite.”

Bay leaned forward, “Don’t you try to use psychobabble on me. You’re every bit as fucked up as I am.”

Ash snorted, “No, I’m not. The only thing wrong with me is I’m blind, well, magically blind. I can still see….kind of.” He didn’t mind. He could still do everything everyone else did. With a few adjustments at least.

“Oh really, that’s the only thing wrong with you? What about your kamikaze mission that almost got you killed?” There it was.

“Are you going to yell at me? Tell me I was an idiot? Tell me that I was selfish and stupid?” Ash asked. “You know you want to. You want to be pissed at me. You  _are_ pissed at me. So yell at me, Bay. Threaten to break my neck if I so much as breathe wrong.”

Bay’s blood pressure spiked. “No.”

“Why not?”

Bay snorted, “What’s the point? We both know you’ll end up doing something stupid and I will have to bail you out. Again. Same cycle, over and over again. Ash gets in trouble, Bay saves his ass. Ash insults someone, Bay apologizes to them. Over and over and over again. I don’t want to waste my breath when I know it wont do any good.”

“Or maybe you don’t want me to get mad enough that I’ll walk away.”

Bay’s jaw clenched. “Drop it, Ash.”

“You are so fucked up in the head that you are afraid of everyone leaving. You want to tell me off but you won’t. You have a crippling fear of everyone leaving you so you toe the line and kiss everyone’s ass.”

“You keep talking to me like that and the Autumn Court will have to find themselves a new heir.”

“What’s wrong, Bay? Afraid I’m right? You want to tell me off?”

You want me to tell you off?” Bay’s voice was dangerously low. “ _Fine_. You are a fucking idiot. An entitled brat who I have to babysit despite you being older than me, despite you having parents who would let you get away with murder. I’m sure the only punishment you got from your parents was a strongly worded warning? Maybe running a few drills?” Ash’s face paled. “I thought so. You almost bring war to your doorstep, you leave your pregnant mother, your pregnant aunts, to fall apart and Dacia and your family to pick up the pieces. You pull the Summer Court into your scheme to get to the Dawn Court. I deal with war and pain and ruin every second of every day but Little Ash Archeron can’t deal with not being able to twist reality to save his aunt who I lost too!.” Bay’s blood pressure was through the roof, his voice was shattered ice. “I lost her too, but I didn’t run away from my problems. I stayed with  _your_ family because they needed me but you,  _you_ who has  _everything_ , you ran away from it all. You piss me off to no end but still I am your friend.”

“Why. If half the shit I do pisses you off so much, why am I your friend?”

“Damn it, Ash! I am not doing this with your ass.”

He leaned forward, “If I was your friend, you would have told me you were gay. You would have told me you were in love with Nate.” Bay’s pulse increased, his fingers stopped thrumming. His focus was snapped on him. “I have to get told off by your  _boyfriend_ because you were too much of a coward to do it yourself.”

Bay inhaled sharply, “Leave. You already did it once.”

Ash grinned, “Make me.”

Bay moved too fast for him to track it with his magic. Ash’s head hit the floor and Bay had his hand on Ash’s throat. Ash could feel Bay’s breath, he knew the male’s teeth were bared. Bay snarled, “You do not get to judge me, you entitled ginger ass. You don’t know half the shit I have been through. The things that I still see when I close my eyes.”

“Too late,” he gasped. “You’re judged.” Say it, damn it. You know you want to.

A low whistle came from behind him. Ash looked up at the voice, Bay’s hand still around his throat. Nate. “I seem to have interrupted something. You want me to go distract the rest of my family? Maybe say you were with me when my dear cousin died from mysterious circumstances?”

Bay got off of him, his fingers curling around Ash’s collar, pulling him up. “Get out,” Bay said. “I don’t want to see your face.”

“No,” said Ash, rubbing his throat. “You like my face.” Nate groaned, Bay growled.

“Fine, then I will. You left last time. You left your family and you left me. This time, I’m walking from you before I rip your head off with my hands.” Bay was pissed. Holy shit was he  _pissed_. “I don’t want to do something I regret. The next time I see you, you better not have a suicide wish.”

Nate shook his head, “Damn it, Ash. You got to stop picking fights with people who could kill you.”

Ash snorted. “Bay couldn’t kill me.” He could stop the male’s heart beat with half a thought, he could burn him from the inside out. “He’s too afraid of being alone.”

Bay turned around slowly. “Do you really want to test out that theory? Maybe I’ll get some peace and quiet with your ass six feet under.” Too far. Ash had gone too far.

“Okay,” Nate said loudly. “Baylor  _you_ are coming with me. Ash, shut the fuck  _up_ , you asshole. The next time something like that comes out of your mouth, I’ll rip your tongue out. Then we’ll see if you can grow a new one with that fancy healing of yours.”

* * *

“You want to talk about it?” Nate asked, after a while. Ash laid out Baylor’s deepest fear and Baylor was acting as if it never happened. If Ash wasn’t his cousin, if Baylor didn’t see the male as a brother, he would shatter every bone in the male’s body.

“Nope.”

Baylor surveyed the hallway, from the stone walls to the burning lights to the empty hall way before he turned his eyes onto Nate. Baylor pinned Nate against the wall, his hand hard against his chest. Nate could feel the heat and heaviness of Baylor’s hand holding him in place. Nate started, “Are you doing what I-”

Baylor had his hand over Nate’s mouth, his eyes were dark, almost a deadly shade of pine green. His eyes were unguarded and his ears were red. But he held his ground, despite Nate towering over him.  Nate rose his eyebrows as Bayor lowered his hand from Nate’s mouth, “Yes or no?”

Nate blinked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Don’t be stupid.” Baylor’s eyes mapped Nate’s body, learning every edge and curve. He tilted his head, his ashy hair falling over his eyes. “Is that a no then?”

“Fuck no,” Nate said. “It’s not a no. It’ll always be a yes with-”

Baylor’s lips were on his, and Nate threw his shadows around them, keeping them unseen from prying eyes. Baylor kissed him as if it was the last, as if he would lose him in the next moment. As if he were memorizing Nate’s body.

Nate’s hands were in Baylor’s hair, careful of the newly healing tattoo just at the nape of the male’s neck. He wasn’t sure if he tasted blood but he knew his lips were bruised. He wasn’t sure if he were breathing. He did know that Baylor’s eyes were dark, that his breathing was dense, that every rational thought in his head had gone out the window.

Baylor’s hand moved from Nate’s chest, to his waist. Baylor was dangerous and a little vicious and he was his. And if he kept going, Nate’s shadows were going to start to dissipate, leaving them open for everyone to see. Baylor’s finger’s edged the hem of Nate’s shirt, his skin briefly against Nate’s and it was hot.

Baylor pressed into him, unmovable and solid. His other arm hooked around Nate’s neck, pulling him in further, harder. Nate’s mouth was on Baylor’s jaw, the male’s hand now resting on Nate’s abdomen, sending fire through his veins.

The sound of laces being pulled apart filled Nate’s ears and his vision snapped into focus. Baylor’s ears were dark red but his eyes were steady, if a little nervous. Nate almost gaped, Baylor was going to get him off in the middle of a hallway.

Baylor wouldn’t be doing something like his if he was thinking clearly. The male must be manic as fuck if he was going to do something like this. He grabbed Baylor’s wrist, “Not here.” The rest of Baylor’s face went red and Nate amended, “We’re going to my room.”

* * *

Somewhere between the hall and Nate’s bed they both lost their shirts. Bay had been in Nate’s bedroom before, had sat on Nate’s bed reading while the other sketched. He’d been in there to pull Nate out of bed to train. He hadn’t been in his room like this, not in this context. Somehow it made everything surreal.

Nate gripped Bay’s chin forcing him to look up at him. Nate’s eyes were dark, “We’re not having sex.”

Bay blinked, “Why not?”

Nate pushed him against the bed, “Because when I make you come I want you in the right state of mind. It’s no fun when you are manic enough you were willing to get me off in the hallway. When you were angry enough you were going to kill your best friend.” Realization was starting to dawn on him, on what exactly Bay was going to do in the hallway, what he almost did to Ash. Nate stopped him, both times. Cauldron he was an idiot. “I want Baylor, not the manic side or the depressed side that first time. I want you.”

Bay’s hand was still on Nate’s chest. He could could feel the heat from Nate’s skin through his shirt. “What do you want to do instead?”

Nate grinned at him, “I said no sex but that doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you, can’t shut down your racing thoughts with my teeth and tongue.”

Bay grinned at him, “Think you can? They’re pretty fast.”

“I know I can.” Nate said. “You underestimate my abilities, Baylor.”

Bay snorted, pulling Nate down on top of him. Nate’s thighs hugged Bay’s sides, the male’s hands in his hair. Bay bit Nate’s lip. He wasn’t sure if he tasted blood. The thought faded as Nate’s tounge scraped the roof of Bay’s mouth.

Bay pulled the leather strap from Nate’s hair, the loose strands falling free around Nate, grazing Bay’s face. His fingers gripped Nate’s hair. How many times had he thought of this? Thought of those dark strands pulled up behind Nate’s head, revealing the delicate points of his ears, the golden cuffed earing hugging Nate’s ear.

Bay’s nails dug into Nate’s neck, pulling him down harder. Nate’s lips were on Bay’s jaw, the male’s slender fingers gripped Bay’s side, the other pinning Bay’s free hand above him.

Bay’s mouth was on Nate’s neck, his teeth aching. He wanted to bite him and he blinked. He hadn’t bitten anyone before. Not even that girl he had slept with.

“Go on,” Nate said. “You know you want to.”

“And if I rip your throat out?”

Nate looked down at him, his hair grazing Bay’s face. “Then I die happy.”

Bay pushed Nate over, his thighs hugging Nate’s waist. Nate’s hands rested on Bay’s hips. He looked down at him, “Key word there, Nathaniel. ‘Die.’”

Nate snorted, “You got to practice somehow. Would you rather practice on a pillow? I think I would taste better than a pile of feathers.”

His ears heated, “You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Ah, but I’m  _your_ idiot.”

His eyes darted from Nate's eyes, his lips, his throat. His teeth ached, Nate's pulse was steady beneath his hand. He was trusting Bay to not to rip out his throat, to not  _kill_ him. How could he trust him to not do something like that? He didn't know what he was doing, he-

“Stop thinking,” Nate ordered. “Just do it.”

Nate angled his head, exposing his tanned throat and true to his word, the racing thoughts evaporated from Bay’s head.

He leaned in, moving Nate's hair to the side, his lips on Nate's throat. The pulse was rapid beneath his lips. Not from fear but from him, the way Bay was affecting Nate.

His canines grazed the skin. “Go on, you're doing great.” He almost snorted. 

His teeth slid into Nate's flesh, the male’s fingers were buried in Bay's hair.  Nate hardened beneath him, his back arched as the rush of blood filled Bay’s mouth. His tongue slid over the puncture wounds, staunching the flow of blood.

Nate groaned beneath him and he froze. “Did I do it wrong?”

Nate looked back up at him, his eyes black, “No, no you didn't.”

Tension unraveled in Bay's chest. “Then what's wrong?” He blinked. He knew exactly what was wrong. He grinned at Nate.

“I'm regretting not fucking you. I don't think I can stand up.” Considering how hard Nate was beneath him, no. No he could not.

“You're the one who said no,” he reminded.

“Don't remind me,” Nate groaned.

“I can do something about that,” Bay said, his ears burning. “If you want.”

Nate’s eyes snapped to his. His pupils engulfed the chocolate brown irises. “Please.”

* * *

Nate’s heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. He hadn’t been this hard in his life and all Baylor did was bite him. But Baylor’s teeth, baylor’s tongue, his hand pinning Nate’s to the mattress. Everything about him made Nate want him. It drove him out of his mind.

The sound of the rest of those laces being undone filled his ears, Baylor’s eyes were locked onto his, the male’s ears and cheeks stained red. The male wasn’t able to control his blushing.

His lips worked to the side of his cock, his mouth on the head of him. Baylor’s pupils were large, his eyes questioning if he should continue.“Yes,” Nate groaned, his hands in the male’s hair. “Keep going.”

Baylor’s tongue pressed into the split, Nate’s hands gripped Bay’s hair harder. His tongue traced the tip enough Nate groaned, his thighs tighter around Baylor’s shoulders. The male’s hand pinned Nate to the bed, as if he were capable of going anywhere. When really, he was close to having his eyes roll in the back of his head.

Baylor’s tongue ran down his cock and kissed Nate at the base of it. His hand replaced his mouth, the male’s fingers curled around him, stroking him. Baylor’s lips traveled up his chest to Nate’s mouth.

His breathing had turned shallow and Nate knew he was close. Baylor must have as well, he smiled into Nate’s lips. Baylor continued to work him after Nate reached his completion.

* * *

Nate laid limp on his bed, Bay laid beside him, his fingers thrumming Nate’s chest. Nate turned to him, “Cauldron, I love you.”

Bay kissed him, “The swearing in ceremony is in two hours. You should take a shower.” There weren’t many showers in Prythian, most people preferred a bath instead of having to stand to cleanse themselves, Bay supposed Nate wasn’t one of them.

“You going to join me?”

Bay snorted. “Just go.”

Bay closed his eyes, after awhile he heard the water running. He imagined Nate peeling off what clothing remained, deciding how hot he wanted the water, whether or not to pull Bay into the shower with him. Nate deciding to let him sleep or what passed as sleep for him. Him climbing into the shower, the idea of Bay finally sleeping satisfying him.

Bay got up from the bed, peeling off the rest of his clothes.

Nate turned to him, pulling back his soaked hair from his eyes, his eyes raking his body. He grinned, “So you  _are_ joining me?”

Bay stepped into the water, his skin and wings pelted by warm water. “Don’t be stupid.” He pulled Nate’s face down to his, the water making it hard to grip the sides of it. Nate’s hands gripped Bay’s hips, pulling him flush against his torso.

Nate’s mouth rested on Bay’s neck, kissing the tattoo that claimed the male as his. His teeth slid into Bay’s neck, Bay’s fingers tangled in Nate’s soaking hair. Nate’s arm rested at the base of Bay’s wings, at he small of his back, pulling Bay up.

Bay’s arm wrapped around Nate’s neck, his other propping against the shower wall, his legs around the male’s torso. The water pelted his wings and back, Nate ran a lathered rag down Bay’s back and Bay ran his tongue down Nate’s throat, kissing him where he had previously bit him.

* * *

Nate studied Baylor piece together the rest of his uniform, the blackness of it making his hair lighter, his eyes darker, those freckles stark against his skin. Bay looked up at him, “What?”

He tucked back his hair, “Nothing. Just admiring a piece of art.”

Baylor snorted, “You are an idiot. Here, let me fix your hair. The ceremony is outside and you can’t have all that in your face.”

Baylor’s fingers combed through Nate’s hair. He was careful, soft as if he were handling eggshells. The male twisted it, tying it up to the top of Nate’s head, securing it with a leather strap.

“Ready?” Bay asked.

Nate took his hand, “I was born ready.”

Baylor laced their fingers, “Oh please.”

* * *

Ash waited for Bay by the entrance for the swearing in. He could smell Nate on Bay, intertwined with his scent. “Bay.”

The male stopped, “What do you want. I’m still pissed at you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh really? For what? Calling me a coward? Using psychobabble on me? Running after Nesta and the baby died? Oh I know, baiting me while I was manic so I would kill you?” Bat closed in on him, “You  _knew_ I was manic. You know I can barely control my actions when I get pissed like that, barely my mouth. If Nate didn’t stop me, you would be dead and I would have had to live with the knowledge that I had killed my brother. You don’t get to just say I’m sorry and pretend like everything's okay. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Bay-”

“No, Ash. You left, so now I’m leaving you so I can get sworn in. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bay-”

“ _What_?”

“All of it. I’m sorry for all of it.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”


	37. Blood of Passage: Conclusion

The wind tore at Adrien’s hair, cool against his face. On his left stood Maze, on his right was Blake. He was more lucid, not as high as he was, but medicated enough that the pain in his wings was more of a dull throb.

He would not let himself succumb to depression, let Ezekiel haunt his memories, he would not let the male ruin the rest of his life. He was dead, the past was in the past. He would become worthy of Maze, stay worthy of her. If he kept saying it, maybe he would start to believe it.

Cassian stood in front of his brother, Blake knelt down to one knee, his hands gripping the hilt of the sword in front of him. He bowed his head, his golden hair wrapped up on the top of his head, keeping the wind from blowing it in his eyes. His face was stone, or at least what Adrien could see of it was. And his untarnished, beautiful wings were poised at his back.

“Blake,”Cassian said. “Do you swear to support and defend the Night Court? To be the shield protecting our people against threats? To lay not only your wings down in the line of defense but your life? Do you swear to be the sword that strikes down our enemies? To not give up, to defend, honor, and cherish our people?”

“I swear.”

“Rise.”

* * *

 

Blake stood, the only lie in his mask was the brightness of his brown eyes. His brother deserved this. He had protected his family over and over again, he was being eyed for higher ranking, he was going to rise through them swiftly. Adrien knew it.

Cassian’s arm clamped Blake’s. The male stood an inch or two higher than his brother. Where Cassian was wind and earth and fire, Blake was light and shadow and starlight. He knew the Commander was proud of Blake. He should be, Blake deserved it.

“Welcome to the Night Court Illyrian forces.”

Blake bowed his head and Cassian now stood in front of Adrien. His hazel eyes were scanning him, making sure he was lucid enough to make the oath without influence. He must have been satisfied since he gave a subtle nod.

He assumed the position Blake had. His hands wrapped around the hilt of his sword, his head bowed, his black hair falling over his eyes, knelt down on one knee. The only difference was his bound wings.

HIs heart pounded through his entire body and out through his wings. He wasn’t sure he belonged here. He was carried out, he didn’t walk out on his own two feet. His wings were almost ruined beyond use. But he would be better, he would prove himself one way or the other. He could not, would not, dishonor his family again.

“I swear.”

“Rise.”

He clasped forearms with Cassian. His Commander, his uncle, his family. He would not shame him or the others.

“Welcome to the Night Court Illyrian Forces.”

\-------------

Cassian towered over her. His face was hard but she could see an approving glint in his eye. He was proud of her, even if her father never would be. The Commander was. The High Lord was. The High Lady was. These people, her family, her Court, they were proud of her and that feeling, that acknowledgment, it drowned out every whisper, every beating that her father and brother ever gave her. She earned this. She would go through every beating, every body she butchered, every damming to her soul: If it meant getting here, with Adrien and Bay and Cyrian, she would do it all over again.

She knelt, her hands around her sword, the wind tearing at her face. She swore to cherish, to honor, to protect.As she stood, Cassian clasped her forearm, giving her a subtle nod before moving onto Bay.

\---------

Cassian towered over him, his brown hair tied back, his hazel eyes shone with aprovement. It gnawed at him, the feeling he had seen this look before, seen those eyes before. He wiped the thought away as he knelt.

His heart pounded through him, the wind tearing as his hair, the tears in his eyes as an unwelcome image of his mother watching him wormed its way in his head. Her voice in his ears, “I’m so proud of you, Baby. Look at what you did.”

He blocked it out before he started to lose his grip. “I swear.”

He stood, clasping forearms with the male who raised him since he was eight years old. His friend, his Commander. His family, he supposed. In all ways but blood.

“Welcome to the Night Court Illyrian Forces.”

He had Nate, he had Cassian. He had Maze and Blake and Adrien. He did not have Ash. Not anymore. Not when he threw every weakness Bay had in his face, tried to get him to kill him. He had said he was sorry, for all of it. Bay just wished he could trust him the way he did before Ash broke every shred of trust Bay had for him.

\------------

He was here with his family, his friends, and his Baylor. His lips were still bruised from the male’s kisses not even three hours before. Baylor’s face was hard, almost lost in thought. Nate wondered what, who, he was thinking about. The mother he never talked about? The brother who broke him? The male who saw Baylor as his son? Him, the male who loved every broken piece of him?

He shut out the thought as Cassian stood in front of him. His face was marble, cold and unyielding, ever the Commander of the Illyrian forces. The male who had killed hundreds on several battlefields for his home, for his family, for his mate and children. A warrior in his own right.

Nate knelt, the feel of Cassian’s eyes on him, of Baylor’s eyes trying to stay forward but inevitably failing and were now on him too. Nate fought a grin as he swore himself to the Night Court. The Court could have his body but his heart belonged to a grumpy male who wormed his way into his heart and mind.

“Rise.”

He clasped forearms with Cassian, the male who loved him and trained him. His family. Cassian’s eyes shone with approvement, more than the approvement of the Blood Rite, more than the approvement of being sworn in. Cassian approved of him and Baylor being together. He must see a difference between how Baylor was before and after the Blood Rite.

“Welcome to the Illyrian Night Court Forces.”

\-----------------

Cyrian wondered if he’d find another lighthouse. He had loved Tania, he loved his mother. He loved Mazakynn in his own way. She considered him her friend. Really, he didn’t know why or what the use of friends were. They were weapons to be used against you at best, an annoyance that needed to be shut up at worst. He supposed Maze ranged somewhere near the former.

Cassian stood in front of him. His face was carved for the battlefield, for the rule of The Night Court Armies. Cyrian knew the Commander didn’t like him, didn’t like his mother. Really, he didn’t care. He was used to people not liking him, hating him. He preferred it that way.

He knelt, his hands around the hilt of his sword, his head bowed as Cassian asked him his oath. He swore himself to the Night Court. Now that Tania was dead, now that Malyus’s blood stained the male’s rooms, the Night Court was all he had left. Besides his mother.

“Rise.” He rose and clasped Cassian’s forearms. “Welcome to the Night Court Illyrian Forces.” There was something in Cassian’s eyes. A glint of some kind. Was if approval? It wasn’t disdain. Was he silently thanking him for helping with Adrien? Cassian nodded before moving onto the next male.

\---------------

Cassian turned to the witnesses of the swearing in. Rhys, Feyre, the families of the newly appointed males. The only person who didn’t have family there, besides the Bastard Borns, was Maze. He hoped her father rotted in a ditch somewhere. “The Next Generation of Warriors.” He turned to face the warriors, “Defend. Honor. Cherish. You are dismissed.”

\--------------

Maze frowned, her eyes following Bay, the male cold-shouldering Ash. Something wasn’t right. Bay had walked straight past Ash, not even acknowledging the male standing right in front of him. Instead, Bay had just walked around him, into Nate’s arms. The two males had winnowed away.

She pulled Ash in front of her, refusing to let him just walk around her. “Why is Bay not talking to you?”

Ash crossed his arms, “”That’s not your business.”

She grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him down to her face .“I  _made_ it my business. Why is Bay not talking to you. What did you do?”

“What makes you think I did something?”

“Ash Archeron, you tell me what you did right now or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Come on, Maze. Don’t be like that. I’m sure he’ll be fine after a couple of days.”

She let him go, “Fine. Then I’ll ask  _him_ what you did. You and I both know he will not lie to me.” She and Bay had an understanding. They didn’t lie to each other, not about things like this. If he didn’t want to tell her something, he’d just keep his mouth shut until she annoyed him enough he told her. “When he tells me, I’m going to come find you and put my fist in your teeth for you not just telling me the first time around.”

“Alright, alright. Cauldron you are a  _bitch_.” Ash sighed, “Why am I friends with you again?”

“I’ve been called worse and you’re too full of yourself to make more friends than enemies.” She crossed her arms, “I’m waiting.”

“I went to talk to him. I knew he was mad at me but wouldn’t say anything. Not unless he was mad enough that he would try to kill me. So that’s what I did. I got him mad enough he almost killed me and it backfired.”

“What did you say to him?”

He winced.

“Ash.” She stiffened. If Ash was responding to how bad he acted.. “What did you say to him?”

“I called him a coward. I told him he’s too fucked up and that he was too afraid of being alone to even hurt me. I kept egging him on until he snapped and had me on the floor in a chokehold. He was about to kill me when Nate walked in and restrained him.” Oh no. 

Her fist connected to his throat. She moved fast enough she knew Ash couldn’t track her with magic. He doubled over coughing as she continued,“You are such a dick. You mocked him? About  _that_? Do you know how much of a mess he had been in for the last two months? Do you even  _care_? Fucking Cauldron, Ash. You stupid  _prick_. You made Bay, the  _one_ male incapable of walking away, leave. What the fuck is  _wrong_ with you. You better fix this or I swear I will find a way to make your life so miserable you will wish the High Lord of the Dawn Court got his abusive hands on you.”

“I apologized to him!”

“You apologized to him. Oh.  _Okay_. Pretty words like that make everything so much better don’t they. Do you actually think that he believes you? That he even trusts you anymore? HE LEFT, ASH. We both know that neither one of you are going to cave and fix things. I don’t have the time….Dacia. If you don’t fix this, I am getting your sister involved and trust me, she will make your life so,so much worse than I ever will.”

Ash’s face paled, “Don’t get Dacia involved.”

“You better fix this, Ash. I can’t have my best friend hurting.” She smoothed down her hair. “Now if you excuse me, I have a territorial boyfriend I need to see. Fix this before  _I_ do.”

\-------------

“Adrien!”

The male’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Yes?”

She snorted, “Don’t ‘yes’ me. Come here.” Her fingers gripped Adrien’s hair, pulling him down to her lips. He froze before his arms wrapped around her lower back, pulling her against him. “I heard that they found someone who can help with your therapy.”

“Yeah, it was a female, a healer of some kind. But Cassian stepped in. He wants to be the one to do it. I suppose since he had a similar ordeal that he would be a good person for the job.”

She grinned up at him, “Oh, he is going to make your life hell, isn’t he?”

He groaned, his forehead on her shoulder, “This year is going to be so painful.”

She sighed, “You poor baby.” She brought her lips to his, “I love you, Adrien. Even when you annoy the hell out of me and I want to smack you. Even when you get so dumb you start to sound dumber than your brothers.”

His smile almost reached his eyes. Almost. “That’s just  _mean_.”

She smiled, “You like me being mean to you remember? Now you just need to get your wings healed. Who else is going to fly in the dead of night with me?”

“I do it to get laid.”

She smacked him, “You do  _not_ , you  _ass_.”

There it was. That light in his eyes. “I love you too, Mazakynn.”

\--------------

Aurora leaned against the tree. The moon hung low, full and bright, casting shadows on the grassy hill. The stars were bright white lights in the sky. It was so much more beautiful than the stars in her own court. Their dawns were exquisite, beautiful hues of pinks and oranges and golds. But the Night Court’s sky was breathtaking.

Tarus asked, “Do you want me to go to the Dawn Court?” The male’s face was carefully blank. She knew that mask, she carried it whenever she was talking to her father. But now, her little brother was using it on her. She didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“More than  _anything_ , I would love to take you home with me. You deserve to be able to go home to your court. But, not right now. Things are brewing and I want you far  _away_ from our father. He would use you as a weapon and I will do everything in my power to keep you from him. Okay. As long as I am here to stop him, he is not getting his hands on you.”

“Why hasn’t he already?”

“He left you to the elements as an infant. He thinks you are dead. It was his mistake. Now you are sworn to the Night Court and my mate is the nephew of the deadliest male and female alive. Son of The Morrigan. Blake will protect you if I can’t. I know it.”

“I didn’t know you had such a high opinion of me, Sweetheart.”

She groaned. She didn’t hear Blake come up from the hill. He must have winnowed or kept to the shadows. “Shut up.”

Blake’s forearm rested above her shoulder, leaning against the tree. He smiled down at her, “You’re warming up to me, I can tell.”

“You have a big head, you know that?”

“Yes, I do know that,” Blake said. “I also have a big wingspan.” She frowned. Tarus glared at Blake. Blake turned to him, “I swear, I won’t let that High Lord get his hands on you. Neither will my family.” Tarus blinked. Her brother was actually surprised people wanted to help him. She knew the feeling.

“ _BLAKE_!”

Blake hung his head and sighed, “What do you want, Princess? Can’t you see I’m busy with my mate?” He paused. “And her brother?”

Dacia was climbing the hill to them, her golden hair, braided over her shoulder, light green and black fighting leathers hugging her curves. “You leave that poor girl alone and go stalk someone else. Or talk to your pregnant mother. Tarus, sweetie, will you let me talk to Aurora? Perhaps see Zevakyn?”

Tarus inclined his head, “Only if she wants me too.”

Aurora smiled at him, “Go on. I’ll talk to you later.” She glared at Blake, “Go annoy someone else.”

With a hand to his heart, Blake said, “You hurt me, Sweetheart.”

She crossed her arms, “Go. Away.”

He shook his head, “I’m gone. I’m gone. We can pick up our lively discussion about ‘heads’ and ‘wingspans’ later.” Darkness wrapped around Blake, the last thing she saw of him was a flash of a brilliant white smile.

Dacia gripped Aurora’s face, “Are you okay? Did that male make you want to commit suicide? If he did, I’ll kick his ass for you. I’m already getting ready to fix one brother, I might as well make it a two for one. Maybe it’ll make you like females and you don’t have to worry yourself about males and their wingspans and idiocy.”

Aurora snorted, “What is a ‘wingspan’? I am assuming it’s not about their actual wings.”

Dacia shrugged, “From what I understand, the wider the wingspan of their wings the larger certain body parts are. If I remember correctly, Blake is ranked pretty high up on that list. Which I really, really did not want to know.”

Aurora blinked, “Really?” Interesting.

“Don’t sound  _too_ eager, Aurora,” Dacia grinned, hooking elbows with her, “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“What?”

“When you come to my court, do you want Blake there? Cauldron knows he'll try to find a way to spend time with you when he's not doing his duties, working his way up the ranks. But if you don't want him there, say the word and I'll ban him.”

She didn't mind spending time with Blake and the others the past few days. In fact it was the most fun she's had for a long time. “You would ban your best friend from your court? Because of me?”

Dacia studied her, “Sweetie, you don’t need to look so surprised when a person offers to be kind to you. If you want space to think about the bond between you and Blake, say the word and it's done. He'll respect your wish too, even if he'd whine about it. He’ll probably help Cassian with Adrien. Cauldron knows that is going to be interesting.”

She smiled at Dacia , “Thank you. I think it’ll be fine. You don’t need to ban him.”

* * *

Zev studied Maze and Adrien. She was getting the male to laugh. Interesting since the only time he had laughed since his wings were shredded was when he was high. He supposed Maze had that quality, bringing out a person’s happiness without meaning to. Her personality was infectious. Loud, bright, and a little mean. Or a lot mean.

“You okay?”

He looked over his shoulder. Tarus. “Just fine, my friend.”

Tarus’s eyes traveled to Maze and Adrien, “You love her?”

“I wouldn’t call what I feel for Maze ‘love’.”

Tarus met his eyes, his brows furrowed, “What would you call it?”

“An inconvenience.” His feelings for her felt like a betrayal to Adrien. The male was his best friend. He had lied to him. But he knew that Adrien knew about his feelings. He just never said anything. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Why? Does she know?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, she knows. She and Adrien both know. They also know I won’t act on it. I think I just like her because she’s nothing like Chelia. She distracts me.”

“I’m sorry about your female.”

“Me too.” He studied Tarus, “You remind me a little bit of her.”

The male frowned, “How so?”

He grinned, “‘There is no you and me’. She told me the exact same thing once. Except that was after...well, it was after she set my arm for me.” he snorted, “You both healed me and you both told me off. How ironic.”

Tarus grinned, “She sounds wonderful. And smart.”

He studied him, “She was.”

“Why did she die?”

“Because I loved her.”

* * *

_“Mama?”_

_Bay climbed up into the bed, shaking his mother’s shoulder. “Mama, I came home.” he shook her shoulder harder, “Wake up. Why did you make me go away?”_

_He shook her shoulder hard enough her head turned toward him. Her eyes were open. The hazel-gold eyes dulled down and unseeing, skin around her eyes and lips blacked. She smelled like death. “Mama?” He fell backwards, scooting away from her. She wasn’t sleeping. She wasn’t awake. She was dead. He fell off the bed. “Mama, come back. Please?” He knew there was no coming back from death. But if she was gone, he was alone. “Don’t leave me by myself. Where’s Alyx? Who else will take care of me?”_

* * *

“Baylor, wake  _up_!”

Bay shot up in his bed, he was in darkness, blood roared in his ears. She was dead, she was dead, she was- He blinked. “Nate?” His throat was raw, as if he had been screaming. He probably was. “Where am I?”

“Yeah, it’s me. You are in one of the barracks.” It was starting to come back. He fell asleep after being awake for the past two days. “Can I have my throat back?”

He released his death grip so violently, his elbow hit the back of his headboard, lighting traveled up his arm and into his neck. He groaned, palming his eyes, “I’m so sorry.”

Nate rubbed his throat, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” If he talked about it, he’d have to think about it. If he thought about it for too long, he’d have a break down. It was better to shut down the memory than be overwhelmed by it. If he broke down, there was a good chance he wouldn’t get back up.

“Was it your mother?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

Nate pursed his lips, his wings disappearing. “You aren’t sleeping alone anymore.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so. Now scoot over. I’m tired and want to sleep.”

He moved over, Nate’s arm rested between them, his head on the end of Bay’s pillow. The male closed his eyes. Bay sighed, “Here, use the pillow. I’ll use you.”

Nate’s eyes opened, “You sure?”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes. We both know you will end up with it in the end.” Nate hogged pillows and blankets. Bay was just glad he was short and didn’t require much of either.

Nate snorted, “True.”

He rested his head in the crook of Nate’s arm, his eyes were already fluttering, pulling him back into sleep, “Good Night, Nate.”

“‘Night, Baylor.”

* * *

Elain jerked upright in her bed, blood rushed in her veins. Her hand clamped over her mouth, stopping the sobbing before it began. Lucien was instantly awake beside her. He cupped her face, his russet eyes intense in the darkness. “Dove, what is it? Is it the baby? Are you alright?”

“No, a dream.” Her dreams foretold the truth of the future. Thousands of sequences of neverending possibilities playing through her sleeping mind. Her dreams giving her the brutal truth and she did not want it. She was glad her children did not possess her gift. Her hand grazed her stomach. But her. Her fire-haired baby girl she dreamt of. That baby girl will harness her gift, her curse. She will wield it as a warrior wields a sword. 

“What did you see?”

She cleared her head, “I saw wicked starry eyes and a curved mouth spilling vengeance. Golden blood spilling down slender fingers onto scarred Illyrian wings. A shredded portrait of a brown haired Illyrian female. A fleet of ships on the horizon led by a human man. Lighting falling from the sky, striking the ground and hundreds of fae and humans burning alive. Winter lands bleeding never-fading flowers. The Cauldron, Lucien. I saw that monstrosity. Someone is going to get made again. Someone is going to come back.”

“That..that doesn’t make any sense.”

“War is coming, Lucien. And  _all_ of our children are to greet it.”


	38. Requiem: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place eight months after the end of the last chaper :)

A sharp cry jarred Bay awake. His hands went to his ears, though he knew it wouldn’t work to begin with. Aysel’s cries weren’t like a Daemati. But still they were inside his head all the same. He kissed Nate’s shoulder as he sat up, palming his eyes, pulling himself from the sleepiness still in them.

Flinging his feet over the sides of his bed, Bay ran his hand down the side of the wall towards Aysel’s rooms. The Princess of Hybern’s cry still echoing in his head. If Cassian or Nate hadn’t gotten up, that meant they couldn’t hear the sound in their heads either. Lovely.

Bay leaned over the crib, “What’s wrong? Have a nightmare?”

Aysel’s blue grey eyes were filled with tears, no actual cries were coming out of her mouth. She was sitting in her pajamas, her golden brown hair messed around her head. “I get them too. It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Just stop crying. Please.” He picked her up. The Princess was roughly nine months old and temperamental. She stopped crying. “You got to stop waking me up, you know. I’m sure your father would like to be the one to get up at two in the morning.”

She smiled at him, her hand clutching his hair. She was too smart at this age. He sighed, “Really? You spoiled little girl. I am not getting you ready this early. You need to go back to sleep, Aysel.” Her lip wobbled. “Don’t you dare. Aysel, no.” The ringing started in his head, “Cassian!”

A few seconds later the Commander, the King, came into the room, “What’s wrong?” His eyes turned to Aysel, “Come here, Baby Girl.”

Bay handed her to him. The ringing in his head stopped as she reached out for her father. “She’s your daughter, you get her ready at two in the morning. I’m going back to bed.”

Cassian snorted, “Thanks Bay. For getting up with her.”

He groaned, “It’s not like I had a choice. She did that psychic-head-cry thing and woke me up. Train her, damn it. I’m going to go insane otherwise. ”

“She likes her big brother. And she’s only nine-months-old.”

“Whatever. I’m going back to sleep.”

———

“You alright?” He heard him get up with Aysel, heard him yell for Cassian and heard him grumble and crawl back into the bed.

The male’s eyes were closed, his face in Nate’s arm, “Go back to sleep. She’s taken care of.”

“I wasn’t asking about your sister, I was asking about you.”

Baylor opened an eye, “If you don’t let me go back to sleep, I’m pushing you off the bed.”

Nate snorted, “I’d like to see you try.”

The other eye opened, and faced him. “What is it with you people and keeping me awake?” Baylor’s foot was resting on Nate’s hip, ready to kick. “I swear on the Cauldron, if you do not let me sleep, I’m kicking you off and you can sleep on the floor.”

“You are so mean when you get woken up.”

“I finally can sleep,” He muttered into Nate’s arm. Baylor had been able to sleep better thanks to him sleeping next to him, fewer nights the nightmares bothered him. Fewer nights he had an insomniatic episode.

“Okay, okay. Go back asleep, you grumpy ass.”

Baylor snorted and pulled into Nate, sleeping on his arm. Nate’s other arm rested on Baylor’s hip. He closed his eyes and let sleep pull him back into unconsciousness.

—————

Aurora stared at the floor, her father was surveying her, looking for the lie. “You have spent a total of one month between those courts and you are telling me the only thing you know is that High Lady Dacia, and her family, is preparing for Calamnai? Two months, Daughter. For two months you have been spending two weeks in those courts. A total of four.”

Her father gripped her chin, forcing her to look at him. Blood dripped from her nose, onto her lips. She suppressed the recoil, “I’m telling you father, I am mostly with Ash and talking about the histories of the Courts. Learning more about Tamlin and High Lord Lucien. I know nothing else.”

It was an outright lie and they both knew it. “You will learn more the next time you go to those courts. You will learn more about that Lordling or the next time we have this discussion, more than your nose will get broken. Do you understand me?” Aurora looked down. She hated herself for it. “Aurora.” She flinched at her name. “Answer me.”

“Yes father.”

He waved a hand, “You are dismissed. Send in a servant to clean up the blood.”

“Yes father.” She bowed her head, retreating from him.

————

She knew her accelerated healing was fixing her nose as she walked to her rooms. Any evidence of a break, or that she had been punched would be gone by the time she reached them. But she did it. She had to protect Tarus and Dacia and Blake. Even Ash. She needed to keep those little girls safe too. Fia and Adara, they were too young to have her father’s sight on them.

She kept her chin high, the tears out of her eyes. Her arms to her sides, not around herself. She knew Blake would be in her rooms, making sure she was alright. It was the same routien over the past few months, even when she was in the other courts.

She could not let him know her father struck her. She had a deal with the Morrigan. She read the letter, and Mor kept quiet about the abuse. Even if it killed them both to not say anything.

She walked into her rooms and true to her thought, Blake stood by her windows, the wind keeping his scent away from her. His brown eyes were hard and she feared he knew. “I’m fine.”

He tilted his head, “See, you say that every time I make sure you are okay after you have your meetings with your father. I can smell the fear on you, Aurora. Do not lie to me. Did he hit you.”

“No.”

He was quiet for a length of time. “I want to kill him.”

She crossed her arms, “Well, you can’t. He’s the High Lord. His death would permit war against you and you know it.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t imagine it. Can’t want it.”

She sighed, “Blake-”

“I know, I know. I’m leaving. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Make sure you are still alive.” He opened his mouth ready to say something. Instead he closed it, changing his mind. He flashed her a grin. “Same time tomorrow, Sweetheart.”

She glared at him. “Goodbye.”

He flashed her a too bright smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Darkness wrapped around him and he winnowed away.

Aurora climbed into her bed, pulling a pillow to her chest, letting herself fall asleep. Tomorrow would be better. The only time her father interrogated her was the night she comes home. The rest of the time, he acts as if she weren’t there.

—————-

Maze curled up in the chair, watching Adrien sleep. The male’s sculpted back was tense, his wings weren’t bound. Sweat was slick against his back and arms. He’d been withdrawing from the pain medication the past few days.

His wings were healed enough he’d begin physical therapy soon. Cassian was helping him. The past few days, Adrien’s dreams were bad enough she couldn’t sleep next to him. He thrashed to much. Had talons too often.

She snapped her attention to him. He started shaking. She got up, kneeling beside his bed, “Adrien.”

His fingers had turned to talons, his eyebrows were narrowed, his eyes squeezed shut. He was going to start screaming. “ADRIEN.”

He was shaking his head. He wasn’t going to wake up and she was not going to make the same mistake twice by shaking him awake. She reached down to the bond and yanked on it. “ADRIEN.”

His eyes snapped open, terror filled them. His voice was hoarse, bleeding. He sat up, looked around in the darkness, down at the shredded sheets beneath him. “Where am I?”

“Baby, it’s okay. You’re in Velaris. You’re at home. Do you remember who I am?”

His breathing relaxed, his fingers returning to normal. THe wild glint in his eyes starting to dissolve. “Maze.”

She smiled. “Yes.”

He pulled his knees up to his chest, his forearms resting on them, his face in his hands. “I’m sorry for waking you up, Maze. I thought I had it contained.”

She smiled, bringing his hands to her lips. “It’s okay. I was awake anyway.”

He frowned, “Because of me?”

“No. Couldn’t sleep. So I thought I’d sit in here for a while.” Her own nightmares were pulling her in. Her father, her brother. Sometimes Cyrian and his feral side.

His smile didn’t reach his eyes, “Stalker.”

She snorted. “Do you want to stay up? It’s closing in on three in the morning.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Yeah. I’m not getting any more sleep.”

“Do you want to be alone? Or do you want me to stay?”

“Alone.”

“Okay. I’ll be down the hall if you want me.” She kissed his cheek, “Love you, Adrien.”

“Love you too.”

She closed the door behind her and continued down to the rooms Mor and Azriel were letting her use. She could hear Adrien from where she was and forced herself to keep walking down the hall.

—————–

Adrien pulled his legs up to his chest. He was hot. He was cold. He didn’t know anymore. He kept shaking, the tonics working their way out of his system. THe past few months, he wasn’t…high. He was lucid enough and almost completely himself. It was just that hid body and wings were growing dependant on the tonics. To help him sleep, to stop the pain. To stop the memories, the dreams. But now he was withdrawing. The dreams came back, the memories imprinted on the insides of his eyelids. And now a new dream, a new nightmare, a new memory. His hand around Maze’s throat when she woke him up by shaking him. That one, that dream, that memory, was the worst of all.

He filled his lungs, slowly, he released slowly. But he started crying. Broken sobs escaped him and he hated himself. Ezekiel was winning. He wanted to die.

—————-

Ash shot up in bed. He calmed the rush in his blood, deep even breaths, to not let his emotions get out of control. To not light anything on fire. To not stop any hearts. His words sounding in his head. What he said to Bay, what he did to his family. Bay hadn’t talked to him in the past two months.

He sighed, getting out of bed. The smooth wood against his feet. Specially designed so he could still see as he walked. He paused, the smell of the ocean filled his nose and was gone in an instant. He blinked. What the fuck was that?

He shook his head, pulling on fighting leathers. Pulling his hair back in a strap. One of these days he were just going to cut it off.

————

Tarquin smiled down at his daughter, blinking back the tears, at his beautiful little girl. She kissed the top of her head before going to sit with Azure.

“Is she okay?”

He held her hand, “She’s beautiful, Love. Absolutley perfect.”

Azure blinked up at him, “Name her Maralea. Please? It’s such a beautiful name.” She blinked slowly, “I’m tired, Tarquin. I’m so tired.”

He kissed the top of her head, “Sleep, Love.”

Azure smiled up at him, her eyes were starting to unfocus. “Tell my baby girl I love her. You make sure she knows I love her. Every day.”

“Anything for you. I love you, Azure. Now and forever and for always.”

She smiled, “Who’s Azure? Is she your wife?”

Tarquin squeezed her hand, “She’s my mate.”

Azure tried smiling, “She’s a lucky female.”

He brushed back her hair, “No, not as lucky as me.”

“I’m sure she loves you very much.”

“She does. We have a daughter, you know. A pretty little thing. Her name is Maralea.”

“That’s such a nice name. It’s very lovely.” She blinked slowly, “Can I sleep now?”

“Of course.”

Tarquin held Azure’s hand long after she past, long after he whispered the Words of Resting to her. He let his mate go into that Land of Milk and Honey and went to find his daughter, his Maralea.

——————–

Dacia gripped the table. She shook her head, “No. We are not doing that. You are apart of my council, figure out a way we can keep finances without a tithe.”

“Dacia-”

She turned to the male, “I am High Lady. I do not take the people’s money and put it into this estate, I help them before I buy jewelry or anything else frivolous. I am not him. You cannot turn me into him. I will not let you.”

The male’s eyes were full of disdain, his voice as if scolding a petulant child. “What do you suggest? The people in this estate need money too. You need food, clothing. You are a child-”

“Do not. Talk down to me. I may not be five hundred years old and the most powerful person in Prythian. But I am High Lady of the Spring Court and you will not mock me. Do you understand?’

His face paled and she took a limited amount of satisfaction from it. “Do not tell me what I can not do, Amos. Do not sit there and tell me I’m a child. I know how old I am. I know who the High Lord you were so faithful to was. His power may run in my blood but I am not him. I will not let you try to bully me into having a tithe. I will not take from my people. You and that council are to help me help the people. If you cannot look past who I am, I will replace you with someone who can. Do you understand me? This is your last warning on the matter.”

“The council is helping you. These laws have been in place for hundreds and thousands of years. You cannot just underturn them in a few years. It takes time.”

“I am well aware that it takes time. But you are not doing anything to change it. You are spending your time trying to bribe me into what you want. Sweet words and honey in my ears.”

“Dacia, that is not tr-”

She took a deep breath, before looking at him, “The next thing out of your mouth better be a way to help or else you will be fired and stripped of your lands and titles.” Take the bait.

His face paled, his lips pursed, “Taxes on businesses. Instead of taking from the people, we take from the businesses. A little from each, that will help.”

She smiled at him, “There you go. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it.” She looked at the clock, it was well past three in the morning. “Go home, Amos. We’re through for tonight.”

He stood, bowing before walking out of the room. Three words were murmured under the male’s breath, Tamlin was better.

She turned around, punching the clock, the incessant ticking, the corrupt council. She was not him. She would never be him.

She pulled her fist out of the shattered glass, her hand in ribbons, blood spilling from the cuts. Her fingers were taloned. She shook her head, her other hand covering her mouth, stopping herself from sobbing.

——————

Blake stepped into the Spring Court manor, his head following Amos walking out, muttering about Tamlin and Dacia. His temper snapped.

He grabbed the male by the shirt, pushing him against the wall, “Three words out of your ass and they better be the location of Dacia Archeron.”

The male’s brows flattened, “In the library.”

“Good, now walk yourself home. You think about what you said to her and the next time I see you, you better have apologized to your High Lady.”

The male shook his head and stormed off through the flowers. Blake shook his head and walked into the manor, down to the Library.

Dacia was holding a bleeding hand, a shattered clock behind her. He sighed, taking off his shirt. “Dacia.”

She turned to him, chin raised, hands behind her back. As if the tears in her eyes weren’t there, as if she was perfectly alright. “What are you doing here, Blake. It’s late.”

He held out a hand, “Give me.”

She sighed, giving him her hand. He inspected it. “Nothing’s broken or torn.” He wrapped it in his shirt. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.”

He rose his brows, “You’ve been spending too much time with Bay. You are not fine. Let someone help you for Mother’s sake. If you keep at it, that stress is going to destroy you.”

“I have people helping me.”

He looked at her, “Princess, we both know that council is as corrupt as Tamlin. Let Lucien help you. Or maybe let my mother help you. You know she likes you.”

“My father has his own court to deal with and your mother is close to giving birth. I am fine.”

He sighed, pulling her into a hug, “No you aren’t. But you will be. We all will be.” Especially Aurora.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and Kudos are welcome and loved, loved, loved


	39. Requiem: Part Two

Aurora took in the Spring Court, at the roses, the manor house, the trees, Dacia in a tank top and shorts and sandals, her golden hair tied back in a ponytail. She ran down the steps, hugging her. She tilted her head, “How have the past two weeks at home been?” She opened her mouth but Dacia gave her a stern look, “Don’t say fine. Blake will start getting cranky about it.”

She examined Dacia. The females smile was still in place but there were circles under her eyes. She was stressed about something. “Why are you dressed like that? Are we going somewhere? I thought you were preparing for Calanmai.”

“I need a break so we are going to the war camps. We are going to train our stress out and you are going to make your move.”

She feigned ignorance. “I’m sorry, my what?”

Dacia rose a brow, “On Blake? Sweetie, the past two months with you two has been so sexually charged it made my hair staticy.” She rose a brow, the female’s hair was perfectly smooth. “So, to help my hair, you are going to go kick Blake’s ass and then make your move. Or I will make him make the move. Your choice.”

“Dacia-” She liked Blake. A lot. But if her father knew, if her father knew that she harbored feelings for someone who was not her intended, he would beat her senseless and she wouldn’t be able to hide it, not even with her healing. And months of carefully crafted lies would be undone and Blake would kill her father and war would ring out.

Dacia gripped her shoulders, “Do it for my hair, sweetie. My hair.”

She sighed, “Are you always this dramatic?”

“Aurora, I have known you for years, but we’ve been living together for a week every month for the past two months. If you haven’t noticed by now, yes. I am very dramatic.”

She hesitated. “I’ll…think about it.” Maybe she would slowly change her father’s mind, make him see the advantage between her and Blake, if she did do something. But his obsession with Ash and his sisters, that was the threat.

Dacia kissed her cheek, “Me and my hair thank you.” She hooked elbows, “Also, Blake will thank you. A lot.” The female wiggled her eyebrows.

She rose a brow, “Yeah, okay. What am I wearing? I am not wearing leathers in that heat.”

Dacia smiled, “Sweetie, I know exactly what you are going to wear.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

———————

Blake punched forward, his knuckles square against the mitts Nate was holding. Left, left, right, duck. Over and over. He stayed in formation, his fists hitting Nates mitts. His brother holding ground against him. Not many were good enough to train with him. It wasn’t arrogance, it was just fact.

The heat was intense, even if it was almost spring. He knew Dacia was preparing for Calanmai. It would be the third time she had done the ritual. The first time was after she turned eighteen. The amount of stress she was under this time of year, she’s probably itching for a fight.

Blake wiped his forehead with his arm, “Fuck, it’s hot out here.”

Bay rose a brow, his bandaged hand running through his wet hair, “Complaining solves nothing. Suck it up. ”

He glared at him, “Shut up.”

Nate took off his mitts, “Here I thought you would be chipper this afternoon. Instead you are bitching about the heat.”

He looked that the male wearily, “Why would I be ‘chipper.’”

Nate grinned at him, “You don’t know do you?”

Bay leaned into Nate, “Blake, Dacia is bringing Aurora to the camps today.”

“What?! Why didn’t she tell me?” Bay and Nate’s eyes flicked past him, they both started smiling.

“Because,” A light voice behind him said. Dacia. “I wanted to see your reaction.”

He turned around. Dacia and Aurora stood side by side. Dacia in her usual training clothes and Aurora in a yellow cropped top that hugged her breasts, black shorts, and sandals. Her inky hair in a ponytail high up in her hair, revealing a wide expansion of her neck and a golden bar twisted in her upper-ear, the golden jewel in her nose and navel. She was lean, a dancer or a fighter’s body. He grinned, “Hello, Sweetheart.”

She rose a brow, “Hello, Sunshine.”

Nate started choking. He glared at his brother, “Shut up, you idiot.” He groaned, rolling his head towards Aurora, “Where did you possibly learn that name?”

She smiled at him, “What, don’t like it? Good, then it stays.”

He rose a brow, “You are going to eat those words.”

“Am I? I suppose there’s only way you can get me to stop.”

He crossed his arms, giving her a lazy grin, “And how is that, Sweetheart? I can think of many other names that would sound better coming from that pretty little accent of yours. In a variety ways you could say them.”

She stepped up, her arms crossed, her head tilted up at him, that inky hair, falling over her shoulder. Only a foot separated them. He kept a grip on his self control, to not close that space. “Yeah, see, I just like Sunshine so much. It obviously gets under that tawny skin of yours. You beat me in hand to hand combat and I’ll never call you that again.”

He grinned down at her, “I don’t know, Sweetheart. I’ve beat you once before.”

She smiled up at him, a wide unrestrained grin. She patted his chest, “We both know I let you win.” Reflex had him gripping her hand, keeping her hand on him. She didn’t so much as blink, no blush stained her cheeks.

In the corner of his eye, Nate clasped his mouth. Bay was laughing. He ignored them, his hand keeping hers on his chest. “Sweetheart, are you baiting me?”

She tilted her head, “Is it working?”

Yes, yes it was. “This isnt a Bellum Armis. I’m not going to hold back.”

Her eyes lit up, her smile turned a little vicious, “Good. Then you can see just how much better than you I am.”

He almost gaped at her. She slid back, her arm hooking with Dacia, “I’ll see you in an hour, Blake. Prepare to have your ass handed to you.”

Darkness wrapped around them both. WIth a wave of her fingers, Dacia winked at him and winnowed herself and Aurora away.

“What the fuck just happened,” He said to himself.

“That,” Bay said. “Is what a castration looks like.”

“Blake,” Nate said. “You should have seen your face. Holy shit. That girl is going to slaughter you.”

Something was going on. She let him touch her. Let him keep her hand to his chest. He was fairly certain she hadn’t been with anyone, male or female. Not when her father had such a controlling grip on her, her virginity was probably a card he played close to his chest, much like the Court of Nightmares. Still, no blush stained her face, instead it was taunting and teasing. This fight, it had more than a nickname his mother gave him at stake.

He pulled the strap out of his hair, readjusting it and putting it in a bun. “This is a test.”

“Then you better not fail,” Bay said. “Give it all you got. Don’t just let her win. She’s going to expect it.”

He looked at them both. “I’ve seen that girl fight. She held back last time. A lot.” He grinned at them both, “Finally. A real challenge.”

———

Dacia leaned against the wall, studying Aurora bandaging her knuckles, preparing for her fight with Blake. She liked her. She challenged Blake and didn’t put up with his idiocy. She also knew Blake was most likely in love with her. After spending nearly every available moment with her, she supposed it would be hard for her best friend to not love Aurora.

“Aurora, I need to talk to you.”

“Yes?”

“You are supposed to be staying in my Court during Calanmai. I don’t want you there. Do you understand? I want you with Blake and out of my court and away from me.”

Aurora frowned tying her bandages, “Did I do something?”

“No, you didn’t. But I will not be myself and Aurora, I like you. I don’t want you to see me like that. I dont…I dont want to hurt you.”

Aurora was looking at her now. “I can take care of myself, Dacia. I don’t need Blake taking care of me, or you protecting me.”

“I have Tamlin’s blood and I will not be myself. I will have terrible magic enter me and I do not want to put you at risk so you are going to spend that day with Blake and away from me.”

Aurora frowned, “You may have his blood but you are not him.”

“How do you know.” The library flashed in her head, the broken clock, her taloned fingers. “I am more like him than you realize.”

“Cia, if Feyre, of all people likes you…you are not your blood. You are Lucien and Elain’s daughter. Not his.” She wondered how much the Dawn Court heir told herself that. That she wasn’t her father’s daughter, that she was her mother’s daughter.

“My word is law in my Court. You will not step foot on my property during that ritual. If you do, I will not let you in my court again. You will spend the remainder of time, that you were supposed to be with me and my Court, in the Autumn Court and that ridiculous heat. Understand? I will not let myself hurt you.”

Aurora studied her, her dark eyes assessing. “Do you…like me?”

She smiled, “Sweetie, you are very beautiful. But no, not like that. You are my friend. And I do not want you hurt. So you will do this one thing I ask and stay with Blake. He would sooner die than let anything happen to you.”

She rolled her eyes, “Because I’m his mate?”

“No, because he loves you.”

————–

The pitch was cleared off. The training equipment moved, males surrounded the arena, ready to watch him and Aurora go at it. To see who was better, the Dawn Court Heir or the Morrigan’s son.

She stood in front of him, those dark eyes, ever assessing. Her ponytail sectioned off her piercings gone. Her fists were raised, her body twisted into a fighting stance. “Don’t hold back, I sure won’t be.”

He brought us his fists, “Care to make it interesting?”

“What do you got in mind?”

“I win, you give me a dance.”

“Sure.” He blinked. He was not expecting that answer or that smile. “And if I win?”

“Sweetheart, you can have whatever you want.”

“Okay, you two.” Dacia said loudly. “Remember the rules. Hands and feet. No magic, Aurora.” She winked at him, “That goes for you too, Pretty Boy.”

“Try to not rip each others clothes off,” Nate yelled from the sidelines, “We’re in public. I do not want to see my brother’s ass.” Aurora snorted. He rolled his eyes.

————–

She struck first, her left fist hitting air, Blake dodging left. Her right struck, Blake feighned right. Blake blocked as her right hand struck again, her knuckles hitting his forearm.

“You gotta try harder than that,” he grinned.

She whirled, her elbow hitting him in the gut. Blake fell back a step before striking forward, narrowly missing her jaw. His left fist hit her shoulder, she whirled around, her foot hitting him square in the chest.

Blake fell back a few steps, He struck left, she feigned right. His fist landed on her biscep. She grabbed his arm, using it as leverage and swung, her elbow hitting his throat. Hard enough to knock air out, but not enough to hurt. Too badly at least.

Blake coughed, his elbow hitting her chest, knocking her to the ground. She rolled out, launching herself back at him. He grabbed her fist, pulling her in. She kicked before he could get his other arm around her.

“You,” He coughed, “Are very good.”

“Not what you were expecting?”

“Sweetheart, you are never what I’m expecting.”

His foot connected with her abdomen, knocking her to the ground. She twisted, landing on her hands and feet. She punched forward, his hands blocking the blows. His forearms were on the sides of her neck, pulling her in. Her fist landed on his side, her other landing on his diaphragm. He held firm, almost coughing. She struck left, her elbow digging into his arm, loosening his grip.

She pulled out. His fist swung, she sunk low, his fist going over her head. Her elbow hit his ribs, making him bend over. Her knee hit his nose. She heard the break, sounding too much like hers. She fell back a step. “I’m done.”

He looked up at her, Fingers on his nose, stopping the bleeding, he was grinning despite the break. “Are you saying I win?”

“No. I’m saying I’m done.”

His grin faltered, “Are you alright?”

Bay was studying her, “It’s a tie.”

“What?” Blake blinked. “Why?”

“You have a broken nose and you are bleeding. She isn’t. You’re still standing and she stopped first. It’s tied.” Bay turned to her, his gaze dangerously perceptive. “Go get cleaned up.”

Blake frowned and she winnowed.

————–

Bay knew that look. That look that something triggered. She broke Blake’s nose. She heard the break. His guess was her memories pulled at her, most likely from a similar event placed on her. He knew what it was like being trapped in the past.

She winnowed and Blake turned on him, “What aren’t you telling me?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” Bay said. “You tied.”

“You’re lying,” Blake got closer to him, the blood still dripping from his nose. “Tell me what you know, Bay. Now.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Nate warned Blake.

Bay stood his ground against Blake, his arms crossed. “I know nothing about anything involving your mate. I suggest using your head and not your hormones to figure out why she looked like she saw a ghost.”

Blake’s face hardened, “Stop speaking in riddles and answer me.”

Bay rolled his eyes, “For fuck sakes, Blake. Your mate, who we both know has as prick for a father, broke your nose and froze. Put the pieces together, you idiot. Think. Why would she freak?”

He blinked, inhaling sharply. “I got to go.”

Nate looked at him, “You know exactly why she froze. Don’t you.”

“No,” He lied. That was her secret. Not his to share. Not even to Nate.

“Uh huh,” Nate shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not mine to say.”

Nate sighed, “I know, Baylor. I know. Hopefully my idiot brother figured it out and I wont have to fight him for you.”

Bay snorted, “You’re an idiot, Nathaniel.”

Nate smiled, “For you? Always.”

————-

Aurora took deep even breaths, the bruises on her skin from the fight already disappearing. She slid the last of her piercings into place and lowered her top. A knock at the door, the scent of sage and burning wood on the opposite side. Blake.

“Come in.”

Blake opened the door, leaning on the frame, “You lied to me.”

She crossed her arms, “About?”

“You said he never hit you. When you broke my nose, you panicked because you know that sound a little too well. He hit you, he broke your nose. I’m going to kill him.”

“No you aren’t.”

“Yes I am.”

“No you aren’t. I will not let you. He is my father, despite many things, I will protect him. Even if it’s against you. I will protect you, even if it’s against him. Do not force my hand. Do not make me choose between you and my blood.”

“Aurora, that male is a piece of shit. If he was anything other than the High Lord, he would be dead and rotting right this minute. He does not deserve you. You do not deserve that treatment. Family is sacred. He deserves to die.”

She rose a brow, “Did you just call me Aurora? I didn’t think you actually knew my name.” Change the topic, now.

He wasn’t fazed by the change in topic. “One of these days, I will take my father’s sword and put it in his neck.”

“You can dream. It isn’t a reality.”

“And what is, Aurora? What can happen in reality?” Maybe it could work. Maybe she could change her father’s mind. Maybe her father will honor them as mates. If she phrased it right, get him away from Ash and the twins. She liked Blake, a lot. More than a lot.

“Me and you.” He blinked. 

She reached up to him, her fingers resting on his face. His pupils were wide, his body almost frozen, except for the still bleeding nose. Except for the pounding of his heart beneath her fingers. She pulled his face down to hers, his arms went around her waist, hers around his neck.

She kissed him.


	40. Requiem: Part Three

The music bounced off the walls around them, bodies mingling, dancing. Nate slid the shot glasses to Dacia and placed the tumbler in front of himself, the brownish liquid sloshing the rim.

He followed Dacia’s gaze to the red haired female with starry eyes. “Cia, we have to do something. And I don’t mean pretty females.”

Dacia sighed, her eyes falling back on him. “Ash hasn’t been himself lately. He;’s more tempermental. I think he’s having nightmares. He regrets a lot of things, I think. But where Bay is concerned, Ash thought he was doing the right thing, getting him angry. If he got Bay angry they could get past the fact he took off. If he got him angry, it would drain Bay’s anger towards him.”

“That’s what he gets for thinking. And this is Baylor we’re talking about. Dacia, Baylor almost killed him. It wasn’t just a fight. It was mania and eight years of bullshit and Ash leaving all at once. And now he’s pretending he’s fine. He’s irritable. He is isolating himself. Whenever we aren’t training he’s either holed up somewhere reading or he’s with Aysel. I’m just glad he isn’t shutting me out. But he won’t talk about Ash, he either doesn’t answer or he changes the topic. But I can read the guilt on his face, the anger too. He is horrified that he almost killed Ash. We need to fix this before he turns on himself. The only way we can help him is if we get him and Ash talking.” He sighed. “How do we fix this?”

Dacia downed a shot before resting on her elbows, her teal eyes calculating. “We lock them in a room together.”

Nate shot forward, “Are you insane? One of them will kill the other and then kill us for manipulating them. And Baylor will see it coming, Dacia. He always knows.”

“Do you have a better idea? I’m open for suggestions.”

His forehead rested on the table. “No, no I don’t. I just hope i can get him in the forgiving mood. Otherwise he’s going to punch me.”

Dacia patted his shoulder, “No he won’t. That boy is in love with you. It’s as painfully obvious as the tattoo on the back of his neck.”

He looked up at her, “I know he is. That won’t stop him from yelling.”

She put her chin on her fist, her teal eyes focused on him. “Has he said it? That he loves you?”

“With words? No. No he hasn’t.” He took a drink, the malty flavor filling his mouth. “He doesn’t have to. Actions speak louder than words.”

She smiled, “But you still want to hear them, don’t you.”

“Of course I do, Cia. But I’m fine if I don’t. I know how he feels, i don’t need a verbal confirmation.”

She sighed, “You two are so sickeningly sweet together.” He snorted. “The question remains, how do we get them in the same room? Ash would smell him before we even got too close.”

Nate leaned back in a chair, “I’ll keep Baylor distracted and you winnow Ash in. Then me and you winnow out and lock them in. Ash may have the ability to winnow, but he wont do it. Not when he can’t see where he’s going. We also need a room without windows and just the one door. And we need a room with nothing in it. I don’t trust either of them to not try to turn something into a weapon.” He groaned. “I know where. And neither of them are going to like it one bit.”

“Where?”

“The Court of Nightmares. My father’s interrogation room.”

—————-

Faint screams echoed off the obsidian walls. Nate repressed a shudder. He hated this place. Instead he kept himself cold, ruthless. An enjoyer of nightmares and carved flesh.

“Why am I here again?” Cyrian leaned against the wall, his fingers stained red. “I have shit I need to get done.”

“I need your help,” Nate said. He need the room cleared. It was a secure place where Ash wouldnt get himself in danger. No one would know the Autumn Court Heir was in the Court of Nightmares until after the fact.

“I dont care about your stupid boyfriend problems or about Ash getting his feelings hurt. Letting anyone talk to you like that and then letting them live is just pathetic. If I was Bay I would have just ripped out Ash’s throat moved on. Why would I possibly help you? Or them?”

“Because Baylor is my Tania. I know you loved her. With every inch of you. You would do whatever you needed to make sure she was happy.” This was a gamble. Just speaking about her was playing with death. Cyrian’s face was a cold calm, ready to snap his neck.

Cyrian’s hand was around Nate’s throat, had him against the wall. “You think by telling me what you think I feel for Tania will help you? Give me a reason why I shouldn’t rip out your tongue for speaking her name. For assuming that what you feel for that male is the same that I feel for her.” He snarled, “You know nothing.”

“I know she is the reason your heart works.” He gasped out. “That you can feel anything beyond bloodlust and hate and cold indifference. I could not imagine losing Baylor the way you lost her. And if he keeps going to way he is, he will lose his brother. And he will turn on himself. Don’t make me lose my ‘Tania’ too. Help me. Please.”

Cyrian was quiet for a length of time. His eyes set with a cold fire, his face closed off. “Just this once.”

Thank the Mother. “Thank you, Cyrian.”

Cyrian let him go, the air returning to his throat. “Whatever. You tell anyone I helped you, you try to use her against me again and I will forgo my ‘cold indifference’ and I will gut you where you stand. Do you understand, Nathaniel? Just this once.”

There was a cold flame in Cyrian’s eyes, the same flame he had seen when the male saved him, saved his wrist so he could still make art. It was why he thanked him the way he did.

“I understand.”

————-

Dacia frowned down at her brother. It was nearly one in the afternoon and he was still sleeping. His hair was fanned out behind him, the muscles in his back were tense. Whatever he was dreaming about, it wasn’t a good one.

“Ash,” she said. “Wake up.”

The temperature in the room was starting to raise, Ash’s fingers were starting to become talons. Cauldron, this was not good.

“Ash! Wake your ass up!”

Nothing.

Alright then. She took the picture of ice water and dumped it on his head, steam coiling off his skin. He shot up, his vibrant green eyes scanning the room, his face contorted in annoyance.

“Good afternoon, Baby Brother. Enjoy your impromptu bath?”

His eyes narrowed to her, “Dacia, you bitch. Why did you do that?”

“Love you too. Get dressed. Were going somewhere. If I were you, I’d find something comfortable. We’re going to be there for a while.”

His eyes narrowed, “Where are we going, Dacia?”

He was going to read her body, read for the lies that he body betrayed. “Were going to go see Nate.”

“No, we’re going to go see Bay. Aren’t we?”

She pushed Ash against the wall, her brother standing nearly seven inches taller than her. Her finger pressed into his sternum, hard enough she knew it would hurt. “Two months is long enough you ungrateful ass. You are going to fix your friendship or I am going to gut you. You are hurting yourself with your stupid pride. Bay is hurting himself too. You two need each other and you are going to stay in that room by yourselves until you either kill each other or become best friends again. Do you understand me?”

Ash’s fingers wrapped around Dacia’s wrist. His face was hard, those green eyes were glowing. “What do you mean Bay is hurting himself too?” He demanded, “How is he hurting himself?”

“He is training so hard that he’s making his knuckles bleed. He is isolating himself whenever he is not training. He keeps pretending he is fine when its obvious he’s not. He feels guilty for hurting you. And it’s eating him alive.” Her brother’s face drained of color. “Are you happy Ash? Are you happy that by pissing him off, getting him to want to kill you, getting him to almost kill you, he broke his loyalty. To you. You ungrateful brat. So you are going to help him for once. You are going to be the one to break. You are going to be the friend that he deserves. You are going to fix this. He needs you and you are going to carry through on your friendship. Understand?”

Guilt and panic warred on her brother’s face. “Where’s my shirt?”

————-

Something wasn’t right. Nate was being too chipper. He was looking at the clock too often. He was dressed in the clothes for the Court of Nightmares. He smelled like the Court of Nightmares. He had red marks on his neck.

“What’s going on.” Bay said. “Why were you in that place? Rhys hasn’t held Court for a while. Cassian and Azriel haven’t been there for a while so why were you there? What are you doing? Why do you look like you’ve been strangled.”

“Nothing. I was just clearing out the interrogation room.”

Bay’s eyes narrowed to slits, “Why are you lying to me?”

“I’m not.”

“Nate-”

Nate cocked his head, “Do you trust me?” Dread pooled in his stomach.

“There are two people I trust. You are one of them. You know this.”

Nate’s fingers rested on Bay’s wrist. “So trust me on this. I’m doing this for you.”

“What-”

They winnowed.

——————

Ash crossed his arms, resting against the walls. This was his fault. All of this was his fault. He should not have let Bay have space. He should have confronted him. He should not have gotten him mad enough to try to kill him.

He let his own grief break him. His own guilt for Nesta’s death sent him to find that High Lord, he thought he could end his own suffering that way. He didn’t think about his family, or Bay. He didn’t think about the fact that he left them all and was willing to let war ring out if it meant silencing the guilt in his heart.

But Death isn’t something he could master, no matter how much magic he had. He couldn’t twist reality and bring her back. He couldn’t control her dying. But what he did to his family, what he did to Bay, that was under his control and was every bit his fault. And now Bay is cycling down and hurting himself.

“Nate, what the fuck-”

Ash looked up.

“I’m sorry Baylor.” Nate had winnowed out the room, the door slammed shut. Tumblers falling into place. Bay growled, his blood pressure spiking.

Bay turned around, Ash could feel the male’s eyes snap on him. His blood pressure was high, his voice ice. “I am not doing this with you.” A sound rang out, Bay was beating on the door. The door was iron, it would hurt him. Ash sighed, Bay was so pissed at him he would try to hurt himself to get away from him. The male snarled, “Nathaniel, you let me the fuck out of this room right now.”

He could almost imagine Nate wince on the other side of the door, imagine Dacia sighing and reminding Nate why they were here.

“Bay,” said Ash.

“Nate!” The sound of Bay’s hand slapping the iron door filled his ears. His magic picked up slight injury to the male’s hands. From the iron.

“Bay.”

Bay turned to him, snarling,“I have nothing to say to you.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You just get to listen.”

His voice was flat. “And why would I give you what you want?”

He winced at the double meaning. “Do you remember when I found you?”

“I had gotten beaten to a pulp by three other males. My clothes were taken. I was bleeding and hungry and alone. I remember.”

“You took off when I found you. I could smell the fear on you. You thought I was going to kill you. You were too broken to be able to hold your own against a kid who had personal training by the Commander.”

He exhaled slowly, his voice weary. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I told you that if you took off again we would have problems. You didn’t. You stayed. I broke your trust after eight years of friendship. And then I tried to get you to kill me.”

His voice was quiet. “You left.”

“I forced you to break your loyalty not only to me but to your training and to Cassian and Aysel and Nesta. I made you stretch yourself so far thin that you broke down. I threw everything in your face so that I could get away from the guilt. I wanted you to kill me. I wasn’t thinking about how that action would destroy you or the fact that Nate saved you from yourself. I was only thinking that I wanted out.”

“You left.” He said. “I have had everyone I love leave me. I decided a long, long time ago that it was best to not trust, to not let myself think that Cassian or Nesta were my parents. Because if I did, if I let myself think that and something happen to them, It would break me. But then I started to think that. I started to think that Cassian and Nesta were my parents, despite my head telling me to not do it. I started to love them, I started to love you as my brother. And then she died. And you left. And then you tried to make me kill you. I spent eight years being your friend and you didn’t care. As long as you got out, you didn’t care what that would do to me.”

“Why are you my friend? Why do you care about me at all?”

“You gave me a home, you ginger jackass. I would be dead if you didn’t force me to go home with you. You gave me everything and I tried to make up for it with my entire life. You shared your family with me and I tried to share the only thing I had with you. My loyalty. It was the only thing I had. And you made me break it. I will never forgive you for that.” He turned to the door, the palm of his hand slamming against the iron. He was going to hurt himself trying to get away from him. “Nate I swear on the Cauldron, you let me the fuck out of here or I will kick your ass!”

Ash folded his hands behind his head, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I wouldn’t. But I won’t let you hurt yourself.”

Bay’s blood pressure spiked, “I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

“Why do you care? Aren’t you on your own suicidal bender? Take care of yourself before you start preaching about saving me. I can take care of myself.”

Ash grabbed Bay’s wrist before he could hit the door again. Bay punched him, “The next time you touch me I will shatter the bones in your hand.”

Ash snorted, rubbing his jaw. “You know you can’t break my bones. My magic knitts me together too fast.”

“Then I’ll cut it off and you can relearn how to write your name. Your hand writing is abysmal enough, it would be an approvement.”

He couldn’t tell if Bay was lying or not. His temper was messing with his body chemistry. “You wouldn’t.”

He huffed, “Of course I wouldn’t, but it got you to shut up, now didn’t it?”

“What do I need to do to get you to at least be my friend again? To give me the chance to reearn your trust?”

“No.”

“Do you want out of this room? Dacia told me that we aren’t getting out of here until one of us kills the other. Or become friends again.”

“How convenient. Do you still want me to kill you? I’m already on the path to self destruction, why not get to the destination.”

“I am not going to let you break yourself.”

“Where was that thought two months ago.”

“I was wrong to do that to you.”

“No shit.”

“Baylor-” It was out of his mouth before he could take it back.

Bay snarled, “Do not call me that!”

His temper was starting to fray, “Why Nate? Why can’t I do it? Or Cassian or Nesta or anyone else but him? It makes you a hypocrite, Bay.”

“Because when anyone else but him says my name I get slammed into my grief. I can’t get out of it. I close my eyes and she is looking back at me. I hear her words, hear her say my name and I want to die. When Nate says it, it feels right. I don’t hurt. I let Nate call me that because I love him.” Bay stopped breathing. He was silent for a solid minute before, “I didn’t mean to say that.”

He could hear Dacia restraining Nate outside the door. His cousin most likely heard Bay’s confession and wanted to get to him.

“Let me guess,” Ash said. “You won’t tell him that you love him because you are afraid he will leave or that something will happen to him. You are afraid the same thing that happened with me or Nesta or your mother will happen to him.”

“Stop.”

“He isn’t going to leave. He isnt me.”

His voice was raising. “Ash, stop it.”

“He would sooner break his wrists than hurt you.”

He was yelling. “Ash.”

“It’s alright you know? You can have something that is completely yours.”

Bay slid down to the floor, his voice tight. His hands were on his face. “I said stop.”

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop. He needed Bay to see that it was okay, that he could say those words to Nate without that fear. Ash knew he needed to be the better friend this time. He needed Bay to be happy. He owned him that much. “No one is going to leave if you want to love him. Cassian is your father. Not by blood, but all the same. He would fight for you until he stopped breathing. The last thing Nesta said to you was that it was okay. Nate went after you in the blood Rite before his own brother. He won’t leave and I will regret doing that for the rest of my life.”

Bay was quiet for so long. Ash was certain he destroyed everything. But then Bay started to laugh. “It takes both of us having a complete breakdown and for Nate and Dacia to lock us in the Court of Nightmares in order for you to start acting like a decent person. What the fuck.”

The tension in his shoulders started to unravel. He almost threw up at the relief in his stomach. Ash slid down next to him, crossing his legs. “What can I say, I’m an idiot.”

Bay snorted. “At least you admit it.”

“I don’t expect you to trust me or to even forgive me for what I did to you. I just.. I don’t want to stop being your friend. Who else would put up with my idiocy?”

“I don’t want to have wasted eight years of work. You would be so much worse if it weren’t for me dropping you down a peg every now and again. But I will not forgive you for that. I will not forgive you for making me do that to you.”

“Are we still friends?”

Bay was quiet, his fingers thrumming against his knee. “Yes.”

——————–

Nate unlocked the door, finding Ash and Bay sitting on the floor. He had heard him say it. He said the actual words. And he almost went to him. But he forced himself to stay outside with Dacia.The female had to hold him down so Ash and Baylor could fix their friendship.

Baylor narrowed his eyes to slits. “You are so lucky this stunt turned in your favor, Nathaniel. The next time-”

“You love me,” Nate breathed.

Baylor rose his eyebrows, his ears red. “I kissed you in front of five thousand people. I basically claimed you as mine on the back of my neck. I let you sleep in my bed. I have sex with you. Of course I do, you idiot.”

“Say it.”

Bay sighed and stood, his fingers clasping Nate’s face. He looked directly at him, his voice exaggeratedly slow, as if explaining a complex equation to an infant. “I love you, idiot. Always have, alway will.”

“Ash, Dacia is getting you out of here. Baylor, you are coming with me.” Ash snorted, Baylor grinned up at him.

Darkness wrapped around them both, Nate winnowed them from the Court of Nightmares.

—————

“Where’s Cassian and Aysel?” Nate asked.

Bay turned to him, “Gone.”

Somewhere between Bay’s doorway and his bed, both he and Nate lost their shirts. Bay pushed the male down on his bed. Nate’s eyes were impossibility dark, almost black. Bay’s thighs hugged his hips, a hand rested on Nate’s sternum, the other pinning the male’s wrist over his head.

“Don’t do that again,” Bay said. “Dont lock me in that place with Ash to get us to talk. That was incredibly stupid.”

Nate grinned up at him, “It worked didn’t it?”

“And if it didn’t? If those monsters knew that the Autumn Court heir was in their home?”

“But it did work.”

“Don’t do that again.” 

Bay rolled kissing him. His fingers sliding up to the male’s neck. He pulled the strap of leather out of Nate’s, his fingers gripping the silky strands. This male, this stupid, stupid male. He loved him.

Nate’s free hand gripped Bay’s waist, his slender fingers burning against his skin. They slid up the back of Bay’s neck, pulling him down harder. Nate bit into Bay’s lip. The blood quickly forgot as the male’s tongue scraped the roof of his mouth.

Nate flipped him onto his back, his thighs hugging Bay’s waist. His hands pinned his above him, their faces inches apart. “Say it.”

Bay looked up at him, grinning, “Say what?”

Nate kissed Bay’s neck, his teeth grazing his skin. His hand moved to Bay’s sternum. Bay’s hand went to Nate’s hair, his fingers getting lost in the strands. “You know what. Say it.”

“I love you, Nathaniel.”

Bay dug his nails into Nate’s neck as the his canines slid into his throat. Bay groaned as the male’s hand slid down, the sound of laces on Bay’s pants being undone. His own fingers slid down, brushing Nate’s lip before going to his laces.

——-

Baylor’s teeth buried into Nate’s shoulder as he edged his way in. He felt the male’s tongue close the puncture wounds before he hooked his arm around Nate’s neck, pulling his lips down to his in a brutal kiss. A coppery tang filled his mouth but was soon forgotten as Baylor’s tongue scraped the roof of his mouth.

He met Baylor’s eyes, the shade so dark they were a forest green. His eyes were unguarded and his lips were parted. The male’s breathing was so dense, Nate wasn’t positive he was breathing.

“I love you,” Nate said. “Forever.”

“I love you,” Baylor said. “Always.”

Nate kisses the base of Baylor’s wings, the male’s thighs tightening around Nate’s hips, his fingers digging into his hair. He thrusted his hips, Baylor’s back arched, his fingers gripped Nate’s hair in a deathgrip, his mouth smashed into his. He was sure both their lips were bruised. He didn’t care.

———————-

He met Nate’s eyes. Half a year before, just looking at him for too long made him ache. But now he was his and he could look at him without feeling like he wanted to break. He could touch him without worrying, without feeling ashamed or guilty. He could be himself. He loved Nate for that. For everything.

He was close to the edge and Nate grinned down at him, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He was going to roll his eyes up into the back of his head.

“Keep looking at me,” Nate commanded. “You can do it.”

He tried to glare at him, it didn’t work. “I can’t.”

“I’ll stop if you don’t,” Nate ground out.

“Don’t.” Bay forced his eyes to stay on Nate’s, forced himself to not close them. Nate’s lips widening, showing his canines. Bay’s breathing shuddered, his nails digging into the back of Nate’s neck. He trembled around Nate’s hips. Nate’s shoulders tightened, his breath dense against Bay’s neck.

—————-

They went over that edge together. Nate rolled onto his back, trying to fill his lungs again. His breath came out thready. He looked over at Baylor. The male was looking up at the ceiling, his own breath ragged. 

Nate grinned.


	41. Requiem: Part Four

“You are pathetic, Adrien.” Ezekiel grabbed his hair, jarring his head up to meet his. “Best shadowsinger of the generation and you still got yourself captured so easily. A few well placed blows and males and you got seperated from your brother and that female you so obviously love. Maybe when I get done with you, I can get to know your whore. She looks like a wild lay.” No way in hell was he letting this monster anywhere near Maze. “After I fuck her I can reunite her with you.”She’d castrate and behead him before he got so much as a finger on her.

He spat blood in the male’s face, “What do you mean when you get done with me? You aren’t the one hurting me, your precious lackeys are. You are just not male enough to inflict the damage yourself. You are just as spineless as your traitor of a father.”

A low vicious snarl escaped Ezekiel, a burning hatred for him rekindled in his eyes, his interest in Mazakynn fading away.

“Hold him.”

——————–

Maze leaned against the door, surveying Adrien’s arms and back and wings. He was built like a boxer, his knuckles callused from too many fights, scars flecked his hands and torso, not including the scar that wrapped around his rips into his back.

The male was still sleeping despite it being well past noon. She knew he hadn’t gotten much sleep. Too busy trying to out run- or fly- his nightmares. But right now, he was sleeping solidly. She didn’t want to wake him. She sighed, oh well.

“Adrien.”

He didn’t move, his face burrowed into his pillow. She refrained from touching him, she didn’t know if he would still lash out or not. Instead, she gripped the picture of freezing water in her hands.

“Adrien, wake up.” He didn’t move, but his shadows did. She grinned. “If you don’t wake up then you are getting a picture of water on your head.”

His back muscles tightened. His voice came out sleepy and muffled, his face still in the pillow. “Don’t you dare.”

She poured some water on his head, “Oops.”

He shot up, shaking the water out of his hair. He palmed his eyes before glaring at her, “Maze! What the fuck.”

“Oh look! You’re awake!” She grinned at his flat stare. “Come on, you got physical therapy with Cassian. Isn’t that going to be great? All those wing exercises and quality time with the commander, it’s going to be so much fun.”

He groaned, pulling his feet over the ledge of the bed. “He’s going to make my life hell.”

“You poor Illyrian baby,” She tisked. Curling into his lap, Maze pushed him back down onto the mattress, her hands on either side of his head. “What if I gave you an incentive?”

He gripped her thighs, his calloused thumbs brushing her skin. Adrien rose his brows, looking back up at her. “I’m listening.”

————–

Aurora followed Tarus’s gaze. Her sibling was looking at Zevakyn. The male was on his haunches, talking to a child. It looked as if he were trying to calm it down. She looked back at Tarus, they were frowning at the male, as if trying to solve a conundrum. “Do you like him?’

Tarus blinked, turning back to her, “Who?”

She smiled, tilting her head at Zevakyn, ‘Him.”

“Why would you think I like him?”

She shrugged, “You keep looking at him.”

Blake folded his hands behind his head, his eyes cast upward. He sighed dramatically, “And talking to him. And spending all your time with him. And talking about him. And mooning-”

She elbowed Blake in the gut, “Be quiet, Sunshine, the grown ups are talking.”

Tarus glared at Blake, “I’m trying to figure him out.”

Blake crossed his arms, “Tarus, you have it bad for the male. Why don’t you make a move so I can have more quality time with Aurora. Me and Adrien both would thank you.” He paused, “And so would Zevakyn. A lot.”

Tarus glared at him. Blake grinned. She rolled her eyes. “Do you and Dacia read from the same script?”

Blake frowned at her, “Maybe?”

She rolled her eyes, turning to Tarus, “It can’t hurt, he seems very nice.”

Blake snorted, “That’s an understatement.”

She scolded him, “What did I tell you about talking? I said the grown ups were talking. Not big mouthed blonde idiots.”

Blake tucked her hair behind her ear, his smile just for her, “You love me.” Maybe.

She sighed, turning back to Tarus, “Only if you want. I’m not going to force you to do anything, and this one,” She glared at Blake, “will go help Cassian with Adrien.”

Blake sighed, “Fine, fine, fine. I’m gone.”

Blake winnowed and Tarus turned back to Zevakyn. The male was coming closer to them, the child he was talking to out of sight. “Okay.”

She winnowed too, giving Tarus and Zev some privacy.

————-

Cassian leaned against the doorway. He wasn’t expecting Adrien to show up on time, or expecting him in a halfway decent mood. He expected snark and backtalk and brooding. But the kid was grinning like an idiot, despite the circles under his eye and foul manner.

“Maze, what did you say to him to get him to show up on time?”

She sat on the top of the desk, crossing her legs. She surveyed her reflection in the blade she carried, her lips curled into a smile. “Stuff.”

“Oh?”

She shrugged her shoulders, her eyes sliding to Adrien. “I used my powers of feminine persuasion.”

He snorted, “Of course you did.” He turned to Adrien. “Let me see your wings.”

Adrien sighed. Furrowing his brows, he unfurled his wings. “Further.” Adrien glared at him. He grinned at the kid, his voice every bit taunting. He knew it would get under Adrien’s skin. “Unless you can’t do it.” Adrien has a bit of a temper, if he wanted to get the kid to where he needed him, the best way to do that was to exploit it. It made sense he was always angry, his shadows feeling and seeing every action and emotion. How either he or Azriel could handle that many emotions at once was beyond him.

Adrien snapped, “I can do it, you asshole.”

Cassian grinned, “Then do it.”

—————-

Cassian crossed his arms over his chest, his spine straight. Despite the taunting words coming from his uncle’s mouth, Cassian’s eyes were cool and assessing. He flicked his eyes back at Adrien, “Close them back up and unfurl them again. I want to see how much work we need to do.”

He did as he was told. A dull pain flowed through his wings. His nails dug crescent moons into his palms. He looked back up, “Now what?”

Cassian surveyed his wings, his brows slightly narrowed at a fixed spot in one of his wings. His shadows betrayed Cassian’s concern. “Do it again. You need to reform your muscle memory. Months after not being able to keep your wings unbound is taking its toll.”

Adrien furrowed his brows and closed his eyes. Taking a breath, he stretched out his wings, a dull ache flowing through them, a deeper ache in one of the scars that stretched across a membrane. After a few seconds in that position, he folded them back up. He repeated the routine three times before letting out a breath, “Satisfied?”

Cassian grinned at him, “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you still hurt.”

“About a ‘fuck you.’”

Maze snorted behind Cassian, “Careful, Babe. I can’t keep my promise if you are dead from exhaustion.”

Cassian crossed his arms, his voice was taunting.“I wonder what Maze promised you? Think she can make it a two for one special?”

His eyes snapped on Cassian. He swallowed the growl in his throat. “Fuck off.”

Maze wrinkled her nose, her voice was filled with mock distaste “I don’t think so. I’m sure you’re dick is all shriveled up and useless, Commander. I’ll stick with Adrien, thank you.”

Cassian shrugged, “Your loss.” Adrien glared at him. “Don’t like me flirting with Maze? You going to do something about it? You’re too weak to even throw a proper punch. Too much time wallowing in self-pity.”

Logic and his shadows dictated that Cassian was doing this to get a rise out of him, getting him to act through his anger, to feel something other than self-pity or mind-shattering numbness, but his own male idiocy was drowning out said logic. “I’m still strong enough to kick your ass.” And get his own ass handed to him in the process. On top of weeks of drills.

“You can barely unfurl your wings without hurting. And I have a solid five hundred years on you. How about you start showing up to physical therapy and training at the camps before opening that fat mouth of yours? Maybe then you would stand a snowball’s chance in hell.”

“Commander,” a voice said lightly. “Can we please not bait my baby brother? I don’t want to have to tell my father, it would just get out of hand.”

Adrien rolled his head, glaring at the voice. “Blake. What the fuck are you doing here? Aren’t you currently trying to get into Aurora’s pants?” The last thing he needed was Blake and his concern. Or worse, his pity.

Blake clasped Adrien’s shoulder, his light voice trying to cover up his concern and slight annoyance. “Not at this moment. Currently I’m trying to stop my brother from becoming an even bigger territorial idiot than usual.”

Maze snorted, “She made you leave didn’t she? What were you doing? Giving more useless commentary?”

Adrien grinned at her, his eyes sliding back to his brother, “‘Aurora has such pretty hair.’ ‘Aurora has such a wicked mouth.’” Adrien snorted, “I am so lucky to have Aurora is my mate.’ ‘Aurora, Aurora, Aurora’. She probably sent you away because you wouldn’t shut the fuck up.”

Blake glared at them, “Tag Teaming me just cruel. No wonder you two love each other. You both get off on being mean to everyone.” Adrien’s shadows betrayed his brother’s surprise. Blake was surprised that Adrien actually teased him. He supposed after two months, his brother had gotten used to the quiet.

Make winked at Adrien, “Can’t argue with that logic, can we?”

He smiled at her.

“Okay, you three,” Cassian said loudly. “ we need to get back to the task at hand. Blake, if you become a distraction, I’m making you run drills until you can’t think with that limited head space of yours. Mazakynn, goes for you too.”

“Yes, sir.” They both echoed.

Cassian turned to him, “You are eighteen years old, Adrien. You are too young to be so angry at the world. But if you are going to be, use it. Take your anger and make it into something useful. Don’t let that bastard Eziekel have the last word. Don’t let him win. Use your anger, turn it into spite if you have to. Make yourself stronger, better than you were, just to spite him. Don’t let him win. Can you do that?”

He was angry. But not at the world. He was angry at himself for putting not only himself but Maze and his brothers in that position. He should have done what his gut had told him. He should have ended the threat before it began. But he didn’t. He was too weak and stupid. But anger, he knew. Angry was what he could be. He wouldn’t let Ezekiel win. Not anymore.

Maze hopped off the desk, “Not wanting to kill your childhood friend, to give them the benefit of the doubt, that doesn’t make you weak.” She paused. “It makes you the bigger person.”

“I don’t care that he went after me, I care that he would have gone after you, because he knew what you meant to me.”

He knew Ezekiel’s war camp. Knew that Zevakyn was from the same one. A war camp that brutalized their females. Ezekiel was friends with that Camp Lord’s son, the same son that Zevakyn killed. If Ezekiel was friends with someone as soulless as that, what would he try to do to Maze? Thank the Cauldron she could defend herself. Thank the Cauldron that Cyrian was friends with her. Even if he hated Cyrian with a passion, he knew he would protect Maze.

“While we’re talking, I want you to give me reps. Furl and unfurl your wings,” Cassian ordered. “Multitask.”

He did as he was told. He kept furling and unfurling his wings, to the point there was a constant dull ache through his wings and shoulders. He was too tired to keep the secrets from them, why he was as damaged as he was in as short amount of time as he was taken. “I taunted him into keeping his focus on me. I made him hate me more. I made him drag it out. As long as you were safe from him, I didn’t care.”

Maze sighed and squeezed his hand, “I can take care of myself. You don’t need to protect me. If I recall, it was I who kicked your ass when we first met.”

He looked back up at her, “I know I don’t need to. I want to. I’ll always choose you first. You mean more to me than my wings do. If it meant keeping you safe, I would have given them up.”

Blake sighed, “You are such a romantic idiot. You get this from Father.”

Cassian surveyed Adrien’s wings. He kept furling and unfurling them, even if it took every strand of mental strain to do it. “That’s enough for today. Any more and you’ll undo all your progress.”

Thank the Cauldron. “Are we done then?”

“For today. Tomorrow I want you back on that pitch. We’ll be doing some light sparring. Rebuild your muscle mass.” Cassian grinned, “Looks like you’re still coherent enough for Maze to carry out on her promise.”

“Okay,” Blake said loudly. “That is my cue to get the fuck away from you two. Last think I need is to witness my brother getting turned on. I’m out of here.”

Adrien took Maze’s hand and winnowed them to his room.

——————–

Maze pulled the leather strap from her hair, letting it fall down past her shoulders in obsidian waves. She smiled at him, her eyes lighting up her freckles. Hooking her thumbs into the loops of her pants, Maze twisted her hips, sliding the fabric to the ground.

His eyes traced down the length of her dark legs to the stiff puddle of fabric at her feet. Stepping out of them, she sauntered up to him, her eyes merely inches from his own. He could almost see himself reflected in those amber lights.

Her palms rested on his thighs, her lips rested on his for a split second before she pulled back. Tracing her hands up his chest, Maze briefly rested on the scar that curved around his side before hooking her hands around his neck.

She twisted her hips, positioning herself between his legs. Unhooking her hands, Maze’s fingers brushed his shoulders before she turned from him.

Sitting in his lap, her hands guided his to her hips before she moved hers to his thighs. The weight in his lap started to shift as she twisted her hips. She moved her hips with an undulated grace as she rose. His eyes traced down her sheer shirt to the scope of her backside and the lacy undergarments that left very little to the imagination.

His fingers tightened around her hips, as she lowered herself back down to his lap. Her hips grinding into him deeper. His fingers moved downward and she burrowed herself deeper into his lap.

Adrien’s hips shifted with hers, her calloused fingers gripping on his thighs. His breath came out in threads as she moved her fingers to his, sliding them up to her waist, just beneath her breasts.

“You starting to feel better, Baby?”

He wasn’t sure if he responded. Her laughter vibrated through his fingers as she turned to him. Her thighs hugged his waist. She moved her hips with a fluid grace. He slid his fingers down, cupping the back of her thighs.

Her chest was flush against his, her shirt rode up between them, the warm skin of her stomach and breasts ground against his torso. He buried his face in her neck, his fingers still gripping her thighs. He missed her.

His fingers slid her shirt up and he kissed her stomach, her skin hot against his lips. Her fingers moved from his hair to her shirt. She slid back down to his lap with a twist of her hips. Her fingers rested on her buttons, ready to undo them.

“No,” He said. “Let me.”

She rose a brow and moved her fingers to her thighs. He slid each button out of their holes, letting her shirt slide past her breasts and into his lap. With a twist of a wrist, Adrien had her shirt on the floor

Adrien eyed the scope of her breasts, the curve of her stomach and thighs, the starry tattoo that rested beneath the curve of her breast. The tattoo she earned through blood and sacrifice. He was only half sure his mouth wasn’t dry; he was sure his head was blank, however. She undulated her hips against him, her hands guiding his hands to her backside.

He slid his arms beneath her thighs and lifted her, pinning her to the back of the chair. Her wings folded up behind her, her arms around him. She ground her hips against him. Sliding his hands to her back, Adrien’s lips were on hers.

Her nails bit into the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. Cauldron, he wanted more, needed more. Two months was long enough without sex. Between zero sex drive and his healing, and now his sex drive back to where it was, he was close to going insane. His wings were healed enough for physical therapy, his mind was clear and the tonics were out of his system.

He gripped a rod in the chair, pulling him further into her, his chest flesh against hers. Her hips, her thighs still grinded against him and he could barely restrain himself as her scent filled his nose and mind.

He pulled apart, just enough to meet her eyes. He rose his brows in silent questioning. Her irises were slivers of amber light, engulfed by her pupils. Her breathing was just as thready as his, her eyes just as wanting as his.

She wetted her lips, her eyes moving past his to his wings. “Are you sure?”

“I’m always sure when it comes to you.”

Her lips were on his in a brutal kiss as her fingers slid down between them, pulling apart the laces in his pants. He tasted blood as she bit into his lip. He forgot it as her tongue caressed his own. He felt her grin at the hardness beneath her fingers.

Standing, Adrien gripped the back of her thighs pulling her into him. With her legs around his waist, Adrien stepped on the hem of his pants, letting the material fall to the floor before he took the few steps it took to pin her against the wall.

Unhooking her legs from his waist, Maze dropped her toes to the floor, if only so he could strip that last remaining piece of clothing from her body.

————-

He deepened the kiss, his hands going to cup the backs of her thighs, hoisting her back up against the wall. Maze hooked her legs around his back, pulling him closer, knowing he was strong enough to keep her pinned against the wall.

The only thing going through her head was him, how much she missed this, the intimacy, his smile, his teeth, him. Just him. His eyes were so dark, but the familiar light that was her mate, he was coming back to her after two months of pain.

“I missed you,” she said into his mouth.

Maze pressed her lips into his shoulder to keep from crying out as he edged his way inside her. He growled in approval at the only halfway successful attempt at keeping her moan stifled. Maze gripped his wet hair, groaning at the sensation of teeth sliding into her skin.

His lips brushed her, sucking on the earring in her earlobe. His breath sent gooseflesh down her spine. “I missed you, too.”

Tracing down the scope of Adrien’s neck with her canines, Maze bit into his skin with ease, the familiar taste of copper coated her mouth. Adrien ’s breath shuddered at the contact of her teeth and tongue against his warm skin.

His fingers dug into her hair, tilting her head to the side. She closed her eyes at the trace of his tongue and teeth on her skin, at the bite that sunk into her throat. Her heart pulsated at the contact of his tongue tracing his wounds.

He laced their fingers, pinning her hand above her head. His mouth was on hers in a brutal kiss. His tongue scraped the roof of her mouth and she dug her free hand in his hair, pulling him in harder, as if she could meld him into her flesh forever.

She gripped his hair tighter as he thrusted deeper. Her thighs ached around him, the pressure between her legs kept growing, shattering through her. His hand moved from hers down to cup her breast, his thumb brushing over a nipple.

His mouth crashed into hers, his hands gripping her back, pulling her from the wall to his bed. His hand pinned her down, his eyes surveying every inch of her flesh, every piece that he had seared in his mind.

She hooked her legs around his waist, pulling back back down to her.

“You can oogle later,” She snarled, her arms hooking around his neck, pulling him into her further.

He smiled into her neck, edging his way back into her. She could barely think straight, his scent, the feeling of him inside her, he filled her mind, body and soul. She almost told him then, but the time wasn’t right, not when he was still healing both his own mind and body and soul. She bit back the words and brought his lips to hers.

He pulled out slightly and thrust back in.

Again.

And again.

Her hips moved with his. Her eyes paused at the claw mark she made on his chest before she brought her eyes up to meet his. She didn’t remember when she made that particular mark. She didn’t dwell on it, instead she closed her eyes as release broke through her and through him.

“I love you,” She said into his mouth. You’re mine.

His hand matted down her hair, his hazel-gold eyes on her’s. His breath was just as thready as hers, his hair damp over his eyes. “I love you too.”

————————-

Zevakyn smiled at Tarus. Tarus didn’t know what to do with that smile or what to do with the thumping of their heart. Tarus had been told that Zevakyn was a brutally kind male, that he tried to talk his way out of killing people in the blood rite. Tarus had also been told that Zevakyn had snapped and brutally murdered five males for assaulting and killing his female. Tarus also knew that Zevakyn was raised in hell, beaten to a pulp nearly every day until he struck back against his attackers. They called it training, sparring. It sounded brutal and cold and painful. But still the male smiled and was kind. Tarus didn’t know what to do with that information. For once in their life, Tarus felt completely safe and it terrified them.

“Who were you talking to?” The question just came out.

A frown tugged on Zevakyn’s lips, “Who was I…oh! That was Kaeli. She lost her mother and I told her where the female was. Her mother is a laundress here in the camp.” He smiled, “Why?”

Tarus was silent for almost a half a minute, trying to figure zevakyn out. He didn’t make sense. “Your life has been…awful. The female you loved taken from you, you were beaten til bloody, and yet you are unwaveringly kind. If annoys me.”

Zevakyn’s eyebrows raised. “You are annoyed because I’m kind to you? Would you rather I was a prick?”

Tarus sighed, “No, of course not. It’s just.. You don’t make sense.”

 

Zevakyn examined Tarus, a deep sadness in the male’s eyes.“I wasn’t the kind one. She was. I was brutal, granted no where near as brutal as most of the males in my camp, but I was. When forced to spar, I made sure I won, I made sure I bested them all. The rest of the time, I was happier left alone. I was feared because I made sure all challenges against me resulted in them broken and bleeding. I was the best. 

But then I got jumped and got my arm broken in the fight. Chelia set my arm, cursing me until my ears bled. Scolded me until she was blue in the face for risking my life the way I did. I didn’t care if I died, a long as I was on top, I didn’t care. I would be remembered for being the best if i was to be remembered at all. 

But this waif of a female wasn’t scared of me at all, she had a tongue on her despite her brutal kindness. I found myself spending more time with her in the infirmary, learning about her. I had wanted to kiss her after awhile. I wanted her. She knew it too, but she said ‘there is no you and me’ and that she didn’t want to be with a male as brutal as I was. So I changed. It took awhile but I earned her affections. For once in my life, I loved something, someone. She made me better.” His voice caught. “And then she was taken in the worst possible way.”

Tarus brushed the tear from Zevakyn’s face. The male’s spine locked into place, as did theirs. Tarus didn’t realize they had touched Zevakyn until it was too late to stop.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to touch you.”

Tarus went to pull their hand away, Zevakyn’s slender fingers curled around Tarus’s wrist, keeping their hand on his face. “It’s alright.”


	42. Chapter 42

Aurora uncrossed her legs at the knock of the cabin door. Her palm rested the door knob. She could feel Blake on the other side of it. She opened the door to see Blake’s hands on either side of the door frame.

“Hello Sweetheart.”

She widened the door, “Hello Sunshine.”

Blake’s clothing was new, his hair wet. She paused, a cut sliced down his collarbone and into his shirt. He must have fought through the mountain after all. His High Lord did need his help.

“May I come in?”

She opened the door, letting him pass through. His wings were gone, must be glamoured. He turned to her, his eyes impossibly dark. He had her pinned to the door, a hand on her lower back, the callouses of his fingers brushing the band of bare skin, the other lifting her chin to his mouth.

“You do have manners,” She breathed. She paused. She could smell someone on him. A female. She slid out from beneath him. “Were you with someone?”

He turned to her and blinked. “What?”

“You smell like a female.” She did not like the tone of her own voice. Not one bit. Jealousy wasn’t a foreign concept to her. She may be heir but she knew what it was to want what others had. That love and security she had been denied.

“I danced with one,” he said. His eyes turned amused. “Are you jealous?”

She slid her hair back from her neck. Yes. “No, of course not.”

His eyes followed her hair sliding back behind her before dragging them to hers. His eyes were solemn with promise. “Aurora, I belong to you. I danced with her because she asked and if I refused, it would appear suspicious. Nothing happened.” His fingers brushed on her hip. “I swear.”

The past two months, getting to know what kind of male Blake was, he was arrogant and a flirt but he wasn’t a liar. If he said nothing happened, then nothing happened. She rose a brow, “Hmhmm.”

He gripped her chin, leaning in. His lips tugged upwards, almost into a cocky grin. “Believe me?”

She pursed her lips, her fingers digging into his shirt. She smiled slowly. “Think you can make me believe you?”

The full smile came, wide and unyielding. It was full of arrogance and promise, a play on words. “It would be your pleasure.”

———-

The drums pounded in her veins, drawing her deeper into the ritual. Bits of herself pulled apart, leaving only need and want. It took who she was an warped her, making her the Huntress. She stood, the gauzy fabric around her waist and shoulders twisting in the wind. She began to search for her Maiden.

Dacia’s heart racketed through her as she searched for her. It filled her head, her body, her nose. She stalked past each female, looking for it, hunting for it. But it was gone. She couldn’t find her.

She turned, facing the two columns of females leading to the cave entrance. Each female, with different flowers weaved in their hair, thin gauzy dresses; she slid up to each one, her eyes raking their frames, her nose filling with their scents. None of them were the right scent. She supposed she would have to settle for someone else.

She stopped in front of a female. Doe-eyed and a tumble of dark hair; it’s strands laced with small white flowers. Her ivory skin was transparent through her dress, her face inviting and eager. Dacia gripped the female’s chin, tilting it, examining the length of pale throat, to the full breasts and hips. “You. I want you. Do you accept?”

“Yes, High Lady,” the female breathed. “It would be an honor.”

“Good.” her hand slid down, taking the female’s hand, “Then come with me.”

———

Aurora had been in a cropped top and short skirt, revealing legs that went for miles and a wide band of skin around her. Blake vaguely felt the bed beneath him, but fuck he did feel her thighs against his hips, her hands in his hair, pulling him down to her lips.

Nate had interrupted them before, getting him for Rhys, to protect the High Lord in the Court of Nightmares. He had been ready to knock his brother’s head off his shoulders for interrupting him and Aurora. She stayed his hand and told him to go, that she would wait for him to come back to her. Nate had risen a brow and gave him a suggestive smile, he gave his brother a black glare before joining Cassian.

His fingers slid up her thighs, gripping her hips. The lack of undergarments snapped his focus into attention. He rose his brows. “Missing something, Sweetheart?”

Her hands rested flat on his chest, pushing him back. She smiled down at him, her dark eyes burned through him. “No.”

“Are you sure you want to be doing this?” Not that he was complaining. He had wanted her since laying his eyes on her all those months ago. But this wasn’t just about him wanting her. Or her wanting him. There was so much Court bullshit surrounding them. It would be dangerous-

“Blake, a semi-naked female is on top of you, what do you think?” Oh, he was well aware.

“Your father-”

Her hand covered his mouth, “It’s my body. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. Besides, I think I’m making headway with him.” His eyes widened. “No, he doesn’t know we are mates.” She removed her hand, “Do you trust me?”

“With anything,” He said.

“Good.” She tilted her head, her ebony hair spilling past her shoulders. “How good are you with your tongue?”

——–

She could make out the sound of the revelers outside, the ongoing celebration, but they were drowned out by her instincts and the magic riding her hard.

“What’s your name?”

“Jasmine.”

“I’m going to fuck you, Jasmine.” She wrapped the female’s hair around her fist, tilting her head back. Her lips brushed the female’s throat. “Every inch of your body is mine tonight, understood?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

Dacia pulled the pin from the female’s shoulder, the fabric spilled down her waist, catching at the cord holding it in place. Gripping the female’s hair around her fist, she tilted her head back. Jasmine’s skin was flawless, untarnished and smooth as glass.

Dacia pulled the cord at the female’s waist, letting it fall down around her in a pool of silk. Jasmine’s fingers slid to her own dress, her eyes slightly nervous. Dacia guided her hands to the pin. “Pull it out,” Dacia instructed. She flushed at the instruction but did as she was told. “Good girl, now the cord.”

The magic was pulling her apart, bit by bit. She kissed the female, her hand rested on her abdomen. She could feel the female’s hesitancy to touch her back; because she was High Lady. She pulled back, a low growl in her throat. “You can touch me. I’m not going to bite.” She smiled slowly at the female’s reaction. “Unless.. you want me too.”

“Please,” she whispered.

She pulled the flowers from her hair, pushing her down against the stone. Dacia claimed her mouth her hand slid between the female’s legs, to the wetness waiting for her. Spreading her legs wider Jasmine moaned into Dacia’s mouth.

Dacia bit her lip, pushing harder against the female. She slid two fingers into her, her thumb rubbing against her clit. The moans got more desperate. Dacia pulled back the female’s hair, biting her breast.

Jasmine arched her back, her fingers digging into Dacia’s hair. Dacia straddled the female, grinding against her. Jasmine gasped beneath her, pulling her down to her lips.

Dacia braced a hand on the stone, rocking her hips against Jasmine’s. She growled into the female’s mouth, more.

She rode harder, the female’s bit into her neck, clawing at her back. She bit into the Jasmine’s neck, the female arched her back, “Yes.”

The taste of blood was drowned out by the pulsing between Jasmine’s legs as she climaxed. Dacia growled approval, her lips crashing against jasmine’s, her hips rocked against hers, building the pressure between her own legs. She rocked harder, bruising her lips against Jasmine’s in a brutal kiss.

Climax pulsed through her, shattering through her veins. Her breath ragged, she looked down at the female. “Again?”

————-

They had decided to wait for the right time for sex, when they could do it right. Her father was still needed to be completely persuaded, her engagement to Ash destroyed. They would wait to accept the bond, they had all the time in the world to do it. Instead, she could let Blake do something more productive with his tongue other than useless commentary.

————-

He pushed apart her legs, kissing the insides of Aurora’s thighs. Leaving a trail of splashes of purple, Blake’s tongue traced her sex in lazy circles. Her breath caught, her fingers gripping his hair as he went further.

“Yes,” She whispered. A growl of approval was in his throat.

He had wanted to touch Aurora since laying his eyes on her, wanted to touch her hair, her skin. Taste every part of her. His tongue slid deeper, earning her thighs tightening around him. He couldn’t help but smile up at her, a purely male smile that had won many things

Her head tilted back, her eyes fluttered. She writhed at his touch, the moan on her lips brought out such a pure satisfaction in him, he could barely think straight. His tongue flicked her sex, she gasped, her back arching.

At the moan of his name, Blake had her on her back, his mouth on hers. His fingers worked their way down, sliding into the dripping heat waiting for him. His thumb traced her sex, his fingers working her.

Her eyes burned through him, her face flushed, breath thready. He brushed back her hair from her face. He skin was hot beneath his fingers.

“Come for me, Sweetheart,” he ordered into her mouth.

She pulled him down into her further, his fingers working her faster. Her growl turned into a shuddering breath as release shattered through her.

“Good girl,” he said, bringing his fingers to his mouth. Aurora’s eyes slightly widened as he sucked them clean. “Believe me now?”

“Yes.”

————-

*later*

Blake watched Aurora sleep, the epitome of peace. Her head turned to him, her eyelashes framing her cheekbones. She was a real Sleeping Beauty and Blake realized, he was genuinely in love with her. The thought both comforted and scared the fuck out of him.


	43. Feysand Pregnancy

This insult had gone on long enough. Kier would not allow this to go on. It was one thing to let a halfbreed be his High Lord. It was one thing to let a former human be his high lady, but these…children, these abominations that would grow and one day rule over his home, they needed to be taken care of before they grew into their power, they needed to be taken care of before they were born.

—————

Her mate knelt to his knees, his lips brushing her stomach before kissing her, “I’ll be back, Feyre, darling. I promise, just a quick visit and then I’ll come back to you and Bartholomew and Biela. I’ve been gone for too long, they’ll start to think they are brazen enough to stage some kind of rebellion.”

She knew that, she knew that her people were growing restless and reckless. But that didn’t stop her from wanting Rhys by her side, not when she was due to give birth in less than a month. She wiped the tear from her eye, “Damned hormones.” She paused at the familiar name. “Biela? As in your sister?”

“Yes.”

She tilted her head in thought. The sister that was taken so savagely from her mate and his family so long ago. The fierce female that she, herself, had grieved despite not knowing her. “It’s beautiful. What about Bartholomew? Why that name?”

He shrugged, “I just like it.”

She snorted, “You just like the nickname we both know you would give him.”

Rhys’s lips curled up into a smirk, his starry eyes alit with anticipation. “That may be a factor.”

“Lucky for you, that name is beautiful. Our poor son is going to be teased so much.”

He squeezed her hand, “But he will be feared and strong and cunning. Most important, he will be loved. They both will be.”

Feyre kissed him, “Take Cassian and Azriel with you. I will stay with Mor and Amren. Me and the babies will be safe.”

“I’ll take Cassian but I’m not taking Azriel. Mor is so close to giving birth, I don’t want to separate him from her, not if I don’t have to.” Mor was only a few months behind her, the pregnancy has been a bit difficult for her. Her nightmares making it hard for her to relax. “I’ll take Blake and have Nate sit with you and the others. He’ll bring Bay and Az wont feel so outnumbered.”

Of all her nephews and nieces, Nate was the one she was closest to. He shared her passion for art. His talent was true and good. Many years of perfecting his craft, Nate was magnificent in his ability to create.

“Be careful, Rhys.” She wiped away the tear on her face, these damned hormones were getting on her nerves. “I already lost Nesta and my nephew. I can’t lose my mate too.”

“You won’t,” he swore. “I promise. You will still feel me through the bond. You won’t lose me, not anytime soon.” Why did it feel like those words were a direct challenge to the Mother?

—————-

Cassian lowered to his hanches, only for Aysel’s hands to rest on his face. He took one and kissed her palm. “Be a good girl for Aunty Amren. Daddy will be back sooner than you know.”

His daughter’s lip wobbled, a sure sign he was going to get a cry sounding through his head. “Don’t cry, Baby Girl. Bay will be here too.”

Her face lit up at her brother’s name. Her arms reached up, ready for him to pick her up. Pulling her up to his hip, Cassian whispered his last goodbye before handing her to Amren. “Take care of my daughter.”

She sniffed, “No one is getting their hands on the Princess.’

————-

Azriel surveyed his sons, Blake just came from the cabin. His shadows told him that he was there with Aurora and that Nate almost got his head bit off for retrieving him. “I would go but I need to stay with your mother and the High Lady.”

Blake’s face was smooth, the only lie to his irritation was the darkness of his son’s shadows slithering around him. “Yes sir.”

“Protect Rhys. There is something brewing in the Hewn City. I just haven’t been able to pinpoint what exactly. Protect him and protect yourself.”

“Yes sir.”

—————–

Keir turned to the others, “This will work. In order to end this insult, the High Lord needs dealt with first. He needs to be taken out of the equation. Lucky for us, we have had a benefactor who has taught us a few things about weakening his magic.” Keir’s lips stretched into a beautifully terrible smile. “Then we take out the Illyrians. They may be great, but our numbers even the odds. The whore won’t be able to help herself. She’s feel that bond go quiet and she’ll make her way to us. When she comes, I’ll cut those abominations from her stomach myself. This insult will not stand.”

The cavern of males and females of the purest blood grinned at him, thier smiles ready for the bloodletting that will finally come. Ridding their court of the half bred High Lord, the whore of a High Lady and those abominations in her womb.

It was his turn to rule.

\-------

Rhysand’s power filled the cavernous space, letting his home know just who he was. His onyx tunic swallowing the light in the room, his head adorned with the crown of stars meant for the rightful High Lord, not a half breed Illyrian with a whore for a mate, for a High Lady.

Keir trained his eyes to the floor as the High Lord strolled past him, the only sound was Rhysand’s footsteps ascending to the throne.

“Well,” Rhysand said, his voice a tendril of darkness “It looks like we’re all here. Let’s get started.”

The Bastard born and his own…grandson, if he called him such a sentiment, knelt before Rhysand, each bearing seven siphons. But where the Bastard’s were red, his grandsons were blue, just like his father’s. Keir reigned in his disgust.

He was not expecting his halfbred grandson in the court. It didn’t matter, perhaps his death would help purify his bloodline. Then the only thing standing between his bloodline and purity would be his traitorous daughter and her pregancy and his other grandsons, Nathaniel and Adrien. Adrien too weak to make his own way out of the Blood Rite and Nathaniel…gay and a half-bred Illyrian at that, they both needed to be eliminated.

They each lifted their heads, their mouths slid into a brutal grins, ready to slaughter on Rhysand’s mere wims. His own face was an aloof disinterested mask.

“Keir,” Rhysand said, his voice a cool blade.

He bowed again, his eyes snagging on Azriel’s blade at Blake’s hip. The male must have leant it to his son while he babysat Rhysand. He kept himself from flinching under the cool promise of death in Blake’s eyes, his daughter’s eyes. A child was what he was, but it would be a mistake to not think he could kill him. Not after what he had done to his own daughter, to Nathaniel.

“Report.”

————-

She forced herself to stay calm. It was just a routine visit to the Court of Nightmares, that was what she kept telling herself. The words sounded false in her head. She kept her focus on the bond.

Feyre positioned herself on the floor. Crossing her legs, she tilted her head as Aysel’s small hands gripped her stomach, pulling herself up to stand. Her golden brown hair feathered around her head in soft curls, those eyes, her own eyes, were bright.

Aysel’s lips flattened against Feyre’s stomach in attempt to kiss her cousins. Her niece looked up at her, raising her hands, wanting to be picked up.

“Careful,” Bay said, his head in Nate’s lap, an arm over his eyes. “Once you pick her up, it isn’t so easy to put her down. She won’t let you, not without a wave of psychic pain rattling through your head.’

Nate’s fingers laced through Bay’s hair, his eyes assessing Aysel with an amused efficiency. “Baylor gets grumpy when he gets woken up at three in the morning. The Princess likes waking him to play with her.”

Amren took a sip of her wine, “Cunning little thing, isn’t she?”

Feyre lifted Aysel to her lap, “Cassian said she’s already showing signs of Nesta’s fire magic.”

Bay lifted his arm, displaying the faint burn mark on his skin. “This is what happens when she decides to fight sleep. The Princess is going to end up burning down Hybern.”

Mor smiled faintly, “Nesta would be proud of her.”

Bay’s shoulders tightened, his voice soft, “Yes she would be.”

Ayse’s hands got lost in Feyre’s hair, a soft squeal came out of her mouth, then her lips started to quiver. The Princess tugged on her hair, the temperature in the room started to rise.

“Here we go,” Bay groaned, his hands to his ears.

————

Cassian smiled viciously at Keir before turning his eyes to Blake. The kid was grinning at a female. Her face a beautifully carved nightmare, her hair shifted from a deep red to an ebony black. But her eyes…

Kier gave the report. Cassian’s eyes went to Blake’s. His eyes were filled with a burning hatred for Kier despite the brutal grin on his face. After what happened with Nate, Blake winnowed to the Court of Nightmares and shattered Keir’s arm. It was the first and last warning Blake gave the male. If he so much as breathed wrong at his brothers, Blake would kill him.

The female smiled at him, whispering in his ear. His face blanked for half a second before he took her hand and she led him to dance.

Cassian narrowed his eyes, his hand on his sword. Blake wouldn’t be dancing with the female if he was in love with Aurora. The Dawn Court Heir would not be thrilled with this.

Blake’s hands slid around the female waist, pulling her close to him. her arms snaked around his neck, her lips to his ear.

Something wasn’t right.

————

The temperature in the room was ridiculously warm. Aysel was crying, Azriel’s shadows picked up grief from the Princess. Despite not knowing her mother, Aysel still grieved her. Being an infant, not able to control her magic she grieved in the way most infants do. They cried and lashed out.

Amren waved her hand, the temperature starting to settle. Azriel helped Mor stand, her hand resting on her stomach. His mate was only a month behind Feyre. She took Aysel from Feyre, resting the princess on her hip. “It’s okay, Baby.”

Mor smoothed down the Princess’s hair and kissed her forehead. “You still got us, no need to cry.” Mor squeezed Feyre’s hand, giving the High lady a sympathetic smile. “It’ll be okay, Feyre. Rhys will be back before you know it. Blake and Cassian will be there. And if they fail, Rhys will kill every last person in that mountain to get to you.”

Objectively, Blake and Cassian should be okay. They were both highly trained, Cassian had five hundred years of training, Blake was ranked top in his generation. But he still worried for Blake’s safety in that place. If something happened to his son, he would slaughter every last one of those monsters in that mountain. As he should have done when he found Mor bleeding in the woods.

Feyre sighed, “I know that. I know but…this feeling.”

—————-

His grandson was distracted by his benefactor, a female with a voice of velvet and cultivated persuasion abilities of more than one kind. The female had her own reasons for wanting Rhysand and his whore dead.

With a bow of his head, Keir retreated to his rooms. He needed to nullify Rhysand’s magic, needed to lure the High Lady to them, needed to terminate the…children in her womb.

————

The bond went quiet. Feyre tried to reach down it, nothing but shadow was at the end of it. She swallowed her panic and stood. Azriel’s eyes met hers.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Her heart was pounding through every inch of her. “I can’t feel him. I can’t feel Rhys. I need you to take me to him.”

Azriel narrowed his eyes. His voice was a lethal calm. “Absolutely not.”

“Fuck no you aren’t going!” Nate shouted. She ignored her nephew, her eyes still on Azriel.

“If you don’t I’ll find my way there myself.” She knew it was terribly unfair of her to give this ultimatum, but still she did it. To get to her mate, she would do anything.

“Feyre, you are pregnant,” Mor exclaimed.

“Not to mention this is most likely a trap meant for you,” Amren added.

“I am well aware that I am pregnant. But I am High Lady, these monsters are my responsibility, Rhys is my mate.” She was Feyre Cursebreaker, High Lady of the most terrifying Court in all of Prthyian. Spells couldn’t stop her, nothing could. “I’ll bring Azriel and Nate and Bay with me.” She didn’t want to seperate Az and Mor but Mor was also pregnant. If something happened in Velaris, Amren could hold the line until reinforcements came. “The babies and I will be safe.”

“I don’t suppose we could change your mind?” Azriel asked.

“No.”

With a sigh, Azriel nodded.

Wrapping Darkness around herself, Feyre winnowed to the Court of Nightmares, ready to burn them all down.

\----  
“I need to help Cassian,” Blake said. He could vaguely make out the carnage around him. Screams and steel clashed in the air. He needed to help, needed to help keep Rhys alive. Even if the High Lord was able to protect himself, it was his duty. Cassian was only one person.

“He has it all taken care of.” Her ruby lips curled into a smile, her hands slid down, keeping his own on her waist. “You want to dance with me.” Her voice was a honeyed darkness, her words sliding beneath his skin, filling up his mind.

“I want to dance with you.” He wanted to dance until his feet bled.

“They don’t need your help.”

“They don’t need my help.” Cassian would be more than enough.

———–

Rhys knew where he was. Cells imbued with a magic cancelling stone, it would also quiet the bond between him and Feyre. This trap was meant for her. Pain pulsed through his head as he stood. Keir was standing on the opposite side of the cells, his hands behind his back, his face stone and aloof.

Leaning on his forearm, Rhys stared down Keir, “I wish I could say I was surprised, but you can’t expect to not get bit by a rabid animal. It’s just in their nature. Just as it is in yours to be a spineless traitorous fool.”

Keir didn’t seem phased by his words at all. The only acknowledgement was tightening of his shoulders. He knew it would be useless to try to use his magic. It would just rebound on himself. Most likely kill him.

“Feyre is going to grind your bones to dust while you still breathe. She will make you beg for mercy until your throat is raw and bleeding. And after she is done with you, only then will I kill you.”

“Your whore will be too dead to be able to do such things I’m afraid.” A small smile tugged on Keir’s lips, “As will be the abominations you call your children.”

Rage crackled in his veins, roaring in his ears. He tried to calm himself. Feyre was in Valeris. She is is safe. But if their bond went quiet…she would bring ruin to this entire court. “Your underestimation of my family will be your undoing.”

Keir’s smile widened, and it was truly horrible. “Interesting choice of words, considering who helped me.”

He blinked.

His world tilted on it’s side.

“You’re lying.”

“Am I?”

His magic lashed out before he would stop it, rebounding on himself. Darkness slammed into him, pain searing behind his eyes, thundering in his head. Blackness gripped him and brought him to unconsciousness.

————

Cassian ran his sword through the female. She crumpled to the ground and he whirled to the next one. Where was Rhys, where was Blake?

He lost count of how many he had killed. He shoved down the feel of bile in the back of his throat before moving on to the next person. They were starting to thin out, he just needed to hold on.

He needed to stay alive.

If only for his children.

———–

The female tisked, “It would seem I grossly miscalculated just how skilled Cassian is.”

“He is skilled,” Blake said. “The very best.”

She patted his cheek, “Thank you for the dance, Blake. You are truly very skilled.”

He blinked slowly, “Thank you.” His limbs were becoming his again, the carnage around him was becoming more than a dim buzzing in his ears. What was happening?

“You are going to forget meeting me. You are only going to remember that you were in another part of the mountain fighting your way to your Commander and High Lord.”

“I was fighting.” He killed dozens of people. Their blood stained his hands.

“The girl you were dancing with was killed. She was ran through with a sword.” Her starry eyes were filled with a brutal sadness he couldn’t place.

“She is dead.” He tried to protect her. He wasn’t enough.

“The time will come where you will remember who I am and when I come to you, you will do whatever is necessary to come with me.”

“Whatever is necessary.”

Her lips connected to his cheek in a soft kiss, “It was wonderful meeting you Blake, you are nothing like how I thought you would be. Dacia was right.”

He frowned at her. With a ruby smile that lit up her sorrow-filled starry eyes, the female winnowed away.

————–

Cassian ran his sword through the male. The male’s eyes vacated and he crumpled to the ground.

“Cassian!”

A female picked up the fallen male’s discarded sword and ran at him. Cassian’s sword cut through her like a piece of parchment. He pulled the blade out violently, the female fell to the ground, blood blossoming in the gaping wound in her stomach. “Where the fuck were you?”

“I got separated, I was fighting through another section of the mountain.”

“Where’s that female you were dancing with?”

“Dead.”

“How?”

“Sword through the chest. I tried to save her, I wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sorry, Kid.”

“Yeah, me too.”

————-

Feyre weaved through the spell, breaking it, shattering it. She had seen enough. This had gone on too long. Too many deaths, too much blood. She released the damper on her power, letting these monsters know she had arrived. Her darkness slammed into them, bringing them to their knees, clawing at their throats.

She turned her eyes to the nearest female and rose her chin, “Where is he?”

“Dead,” the female gasped out. Her voice was a hollow laugh. “Good riddance.”

Feyre clasped the female’s mind, her claws tearing through memory after memory of the female. She was lying, she knew where he was. With a dismissive wave, Feyre shattered her mind, letting the female fall to a crumpled mess.

Ignoring the pain wrapping around her spine, she turned to the rest of them, “Leave while you still have the chance. Anyone who is still here after the count of three will burn. One.” A few of the fae ran. Some tried to attack, only to be met with Azriel or Bay or Nate’s swords. “Two.” More ran. “Three.”

She burned them down.

She winced before turning to Azriel, “The Cells. Take me there, now.”

“Feyre, you’re-”

“NOW.”

———–

Keir looked down his nose. Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court, Night Incarnate, was unconscious in the bottom of a cell. This was truly a wonderful sight.

He got to his haunches, “It would seem you aren’t that all powerful after all.”

“Get away from him,” the sound of steel being unsheathed filled his ears. “Now.”

He stood, turning to the sound. “Nathaniel.”

His grandson had him by the throat, slammed against the wall. “You did this,” Nate growled. “Why?”

Behind him, the Bastard’s adoptive son stood, his arms crossed. His eyes were filled with a burning hatred.

This question, it was more than just Rhysand being unconscious in a cell, more than wanting the whore and her children eradicated. This was the question of a scared child who wanted to know why he hurt him. Why he was targeted, why he broke him so many times. So many times that Keir realized, his family didn’t know about. Save the one time he broke Nate’s wrist. He supposed it was a good thing having Ash Archeron a relative. It would seem Nathaniel was just as adept as his father at trading secrets.

He knew he was going to die. Might as well make the last words he said haunt Nathaniel for the rest of his worthless life. “Because. You are pathetic.”

An icy rage slid through Nataniel’s features. Keir turned his eyes to Bay. “Your father is such an interesting male. When you meet him, be sure to ask how he got the scars on his face.”

Bay’s eyes snapped onto his and his face drained of color. Nathaniel’s hand tightened around his throat and let out a low, vicious growl.

“Don’t kill him,” A voice said behind Nathaniel. It was cold and low and a whisper of darkness. It was Azriel.

“Why not?” Nathaniel growled.

“I need to interrogate him,” Azriel said.

Nathaniel smiled at Keir and that smile froze his blood. Nathaniel clutched his shirt, “Family bonding, yes?”

——————-

She tried to think past the contractions that she knew where speeding up. She was going to have these babies in this court, there was no other option. Feyre got to her knees, letting out a long breath. “Rhys.”

The pain was coming faster now. Cutting into her wrist, she let her blood spill. Taking it to her mate’s lips, she whispered, “Wake up, you prick. I’m-” she winced.

————

Blood spilled into his mouth, jarring him from unconsciousness. His eyes fluttered open at a sweet smell filling his nose. But he did not see her, he saw vague shadows, like looking through clouded glass. It was then that he realized.

Feyre was in labor and he was blind.

—————–  
He didn’t want to believe Keir’s words. But the smug superiority of them, the male knew something. Something world shattering. And he was going to get answers but first, he had to get Feyre and his children out of this Hellhole.

“Get her out of here! Winnow her somewhere besides this fucking cell!” Rhys snarled.

His mate was ready to give birth to his children and she was in a dank cell, a cell meant to suffocate magic, a cell where nightmares were made flesh. She was vulnerable and he was blind and-

“No,” She said through gritted teeth. “It’s too late. They’re coming.”

—————-

Nate stripped the shirt from Keir’s chest. He bound the male’s arms to the iron chair. He took a generous amount of satisfaction from seeing the male in pain. Nate dug his nails into Keir’s arms, meeting his eyes.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?”

Keir looked back up at him, his face stony. The only indication of pain was the intensity of his eyes. The same eyes that he, himself, had. One of the reasons he avoided a mirror.

A small smile etched on his grandfather’s face. “You would know, wouldn’t you?”

He clicked his tongue; memories of his grandfather breaking his bones, memories of Keir learning that he was an artist, Keir breaking his wrists, his fingers, jarred in his mind. Memories of relearning how to sketch, hiding his reasons for needing the extra practice, needing to be left alone to draw, to paint. Memories of turning Baylor away, lying to Baylor, while Ash healed him. His cousin knew. He refused to heal him unless he had the truth.So he told him under secrecy. And if Baylor ever figured out that he or Ash hid something like that from him..

Keir tilted his head, “You didn’t tell anyone about our family bonding experiences. Why?”

Nate lowered to his haunches, meeting his eyes. “Because when I got older, able to fight back, I wanted to be the one to kill you.”

Keir’s smiled widened, “And now you don’t get to. Shame.”

Nate took the circlet from atop his grandfather’s hair and looked at the glittering metal. Breaking the circlet, Nate examined the sharpened jagged end of the metal before turning his eyes on Keir.

“Do you know what it feels like to have metal sink between your ribs and into your lung?” Nate tilted his head. “Did you know that when you pierce the lung and blood starts to fill your precious air space that you start to pray to the Mother? Pray that you live long enough to get to your Cauldron Blessed cousin so he can heal you in secret? Because I do.”

He slid the jagged metal between Keir’s ribs. “You look so surprised that I would do this.”

The male’s lips parted, his eyes widened and his breath shuddered at the contact of metal piercing his lung. Blood spilled onto Nate’s fingers. Giving the male a grim smile, Nate twisted the circlet with a jerk of his wrist.

“After all Keir, I am your blood.”

—————

Feyre had barely registered that Nate had winnowed back into room; her nephew’s face was set with grim determination, his red-stained fingers shook. Bay looked up at him, his brows furrowed. 

She worried about him also but she was more focused on the pain. And Cauldron it hurt. If fucking hurt. She thought getting her neck snapped and dying was pain, no. This is pain. “I don’t understand,” She gritted out. “I st- still have a month before I’m due.”

Azriel quietly rolled up his sleeves, “Between getting to Rhys and the strain of your magic and stress, you jump started your labor.” His eyes slid to Bay and Nate. Nate’s face mirrored Azriel’s and Bay’s was bone white.

“Bay, go find Cassian and Blake,” Azriel said. “Tell them Feyre is giving birth. Nate, hot water, towels, a sterile blade.” Just in case. “Go.”

“Yes sir,” Nate said. Taking Bay’s wrist, Nate winnowed.

Azriel lowered to his haunches, his face a calm mask. The only thing belaying the calm was the intensity of his eyes. “Are you ready to give birth?”

—-

The High Lady let out a strangled cry. Beside her, Rhys was rubbing her back, his voice strained. “You can do this, Feyre darling.”

Rhys’s shoulders were tight, his face strained. But his shadows told him he was struggling. Rhys wanted to eliminate him as a threat to his mate, for whatever reason. His mate was defenseless, giving birth, in the home of the worst monsters in all of Prythian. And he was blind. The High Lord didn’t see him, the male who would lay down his life for him and his court, he saw a male who was extremely close to his vulnerable mate.

“Rhys,” Azriel said. “I am not going to hurt her, I need to help her. Will you let me?”

“Yes,” Rhys ground out.

“Well thank the Cauldron,” Feyre gritted. “Can you please help me?”

A smile tugged on Azriel’s lips.

“I found everything you needed,” Nate winnowed in. Azriel glanced at his son. Nate held…a lot of towels and a bowl of water, steam billowing from the clear liquid.

“Very good,” Azriel murmured. He settled between Feyre’s legs. “It’s time.”

————–

The female had heard Keir’s groans from where she was. She had heard the male- Nate- list the things Keir had done to him. She had no love for Nate or his family but what Keir did. That was unacceptable. A child should not have to live in fear or be targeted by such cruelty. Keir was a necessary evil that she had to tolerate but now that the plan had failed, she needed to erase herself from the scene and let him get the punishment he deserved.

The female surveyed the guards in front of the door. Stone faced and armed to the teeth. She supposed they were just doing their jobs. But she needed in the room, needed to get to Keir before his interrogation truly began.

Her lips curled into a ruby smile, her head tilted, her shock of ever-changing hair slid over her shoulder. “You want to let me in.”

The shorter male blinked slowly, his hand moving to the bar to open the iron door. She smiled, slipping into the room, “Thank you.”

Keir sat chained to an iron chair, the circlet atop protruded in his side. Blood was still seeping from the wound, thick and black. The skin beneath his arms blackened and peeled, his fingers bent in unnatural positions, ash bolted his palms to the chair. He looked to be in a great deal of pain. Good. He deserved it. He looked up at her. “Ter-”

“Ah, ah,” She tisked. “We need to have a chat before you are subjected to interrogation.”

His face hardened, his eyes betrayed a hopeless glint. He was realizing she wasn’t here to save him. “Bitch-”

She gripped his bound arms, her black nails digging into his bleeding skin. “You are going to forget everything you know about me. The only thing you are going to remember was you staged a coup and that you failed. And when they interrogate you, you will feel the pain in a tenfold. You will believe you deserve it. Because you do.”

Keir’s face slacked, his eyes blinking slowly up at her. “Who are you?”

She smiled, “Very good. It’s been interesting doing business with you, Keir. I hope you choke on your blood.”

———–

Charred flesh littered the floor, the smell vile enough Cassian had to cover his nose with his elbow. What the fuck happened here? Stepping over a blackened corpse, Cassian spied a ashy-blonde head of hair.

He paused, lowering his elbow. “Bay, what the fuck- why are you here?” He was supposed to be in Velaris with Feyre and Aysel, not covered in blood and soot and looking like he had seen a ghost.

“FeyreisintheCellsgivingbirthyouneedtogo.” Bay was speaking so fast he could barely make out the words, his sons eyes were wide with panic. “Now.”

Blake blinked. “Care to run that by us again?”

Bay glared at him, his voice over enunciated. “Feyre is in the Cells giving birth. Get your asses down there now.”

———-

Feyre clenched her teeth, her chin to her chest, and pushed.

She took in breath, filling her lungs with air. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tried to keep her magic contained, her palms against the brutally cold stone beneath her. Inhaling sharply, Feyre pushed.

Azriel’s eyes flicked up to hers for mere seconds, “Again.”

She shook her head, sweat beading her skin.“I can’t.”

“Yes you can, Feyre.” Rhys encouraged. “You survived Amarantha and Hybern and Tamlin. You survived near-starvation, war, death. You can do this.”

“Shut up,” she groaned. “It’s your fault I got pregnant in the first place.”

Nate snorted; a smile tugged on Azriel’s lips.

“Again,” Azriel repeated. “Nate, get the towel ready.”

Her nephew knelt down beside his father, holding out a plush ebony towel. He was steady, save for the slight trembling of his hands.

She pushed.

“I see hair, Aunt Feyre.” Nate said. “You’re doing so good.”

Rhys’s breathing hitched, his palm stiffening at her back. She blinked the tears from her eyes and smiled at him, her fingers gripping his thigh.

“Big one,” Azriel coached. She gritted her teeth and pushed.

She heard it. The most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Her child was crying and so was Rhys.

Azriel looked up at them. “It’s a boy.” She could almost hear the but in his voice. Was there something wrong with her son?

Nate leaned over, wrapping an ebony towel around her son before placing him in Rhys’s arms. She glanced at her son. A shock of black hair and blue grey eyes. He was beautiful.

“Hello Bat,” Rhys said softly, his thumb brushing their son’s cheek. Nate dug another towel out, readying for the next birth. “Rhys, do you want to cut the cord?” Azriel glanced over her legs at her mate. Rhys cut it. Azriel’s eyes looked to hers. “Ready for the next one?”

She looked back and nodded.

———

Cassian and Blake stood guard at the entrance of the Cells. It was too much. His mate’s unseeing eyes flashed in his head. He didn’t trust himself to stay calm so he opted for guard duty and his thoughts kept going back to the female Blake was dancing with. Her eyes.

“Are you alright, Commander?” Blake asked.

That was the question and Cassian hated answering it. So he opted to not answer it at all. Blake’s eyes glanced at him. “Cassian?”

“I’m fine, Blake.”

Blake snorted. “So that’s where Bay get’s it from.”

“Excuse me?”

“Both of you pretend you’re fine and when asked how you are doing, you both dismiss the asker with an ‘I’m fine.’ It’s obvious neither of you are.”

A female appeared in front of them. The same female Blake said was dead. Cassian slid his hand to his sword. “Who are you?”

She smiled up at him. “That is for me to know and you to forget. You do not remember me dancing with Blake. You remember a golden haired and brown eyed female instead. She was killed. Run through with a sword. Nothing was amiss and you never had a second thought about it.”

“I remember nothing,” Cassian said. 

“Very good,” she smiled. Darkness wrapped around her and she disappeared.

A minute later, Cassian turned to Blake. “Bay and I are dealing. We will be fine. Eventually.” He just hoped he wasn’t lying.

Blake paused. “Do you hear that?”

Cassian sighed, unsheathing his sword. “We have company.”  
\-------  
She could hear it outside the cells. Blood and death and ruin. Cassian and Blake were out there. So was Bay. Nate looked seconds away from bolting, to get to him. Instead, he dug his fingers into the towel, his eyes were near black with barely restrained impulse. Out of his brothers, Nate was the one who was to act first, damn the questions. And he was fighting his impulse to go to Bay. How either of those boys managed to go years without actually being together remained a mystery to her.

“Nate,” she blinked slowly, “Go to Bay.”

“No,” he said tightly. “You need me more.”

“Don’t worry about him, focus on your baby.” Azriel ordered. “A big one this time.”

Her palms connected with the stone floor. Her chin to her chest. She pushed.

Azriel looked up at her, the sound of crying filled the cell. Biela.

“It’s a girl,” Nate breathed.

She tried to smile. Nate wrapped a towel around her daughter and scooted up to her. Feyre looked down at the baby. Inky Black hair and wickedly bright blue-grey eyes. Biela, she was different. She leaned her head back against the cool stone. She just needed to close her eyes, just for a moment; then she could hold her children.

———–

The sound of drums filled the night sky. Bonfires reached the sky, revelers and females littered around her. She had done Calanmai before. She knelt, ready for the magic to consume her. She had done this twice before, but this time, her nose was enveloped so strongly with the scent of Jasmine and citrus, she almost forgot where she was. But it was gone in an instant.

What the hell just happened?

———-

His sight was starting to come back. He could see outlines and vague movement but it was too slow. And Feyre, she wasn’t moving. His heart was in his throat and his mate was unconscious and-

“Feyre-” Rhys started, moving to his nephew. “Nate take him. Feyre don’t you dare close your eyes.” He moved two fingers to her throat. Her heartbeat was thready. “Az-”

“The bleeding,” Azriel said. “It won’t stop. Nate, you take the twins to your mother and get Amren. Now. Rhys, you help me. She’s going to hemorrhage if we dont stop this now.”

Nate took the babies. “I’ll get Ash.”

“He won’t help,” Azriel said, ripping the skirts from Feyre’s body. “Not after Nesta.”

“I’ll make him,” Nate growled and winnowed away.

“Rhys,” Azriel said, cutting into Feyre’s abdomen. “Can you do this? You are a High Lord. Your healing can keep her alive until either Ash or Amren get here.”

He would move heaven and earth to keep her alive; he would do whatever he had to. “Yes. What do I need to do.”

————–

The rooms were dark besides the candle atop the table and Elain reading. His aunt almost dropped her book. “Nate!” she exclaimed. “What are you-”

He handed her the twins. She blinked before bringing them to her chest.

“Where is Ash?”

“The training ground out back-”

He winnowed.

———

Ash felt his cousin before he saw him. His heart was pounding so fast and his blood pressure was through the roof. He smelled like blood and birth. And fear. Bone deep fear that he had smelled before.

“Nate?” He asked carefully. “What are you-”

Nate gripped his shoulders. “I need you to help Feyre. She’s bleeding out and-”

“I can’t. I can’t-” Not after Nesta, not after the baby. He could barely close his eyes and not see-

Nate clasped both sides of his face. “Yes you can. Feyre is your aunt too. You were willing to die to bring back Nesta. You feel guilt for not being able to save her. Here is your chance to make up for it.”

“I-”

A low snarl came from Nate, his cousin gripped his throat, his nails dug into his skin. “I swear on the Cauldron, if the next few words out of your mouth aren’t ‘I will help you’ I will rip out your throat and let your fancy healing magic grow you a new one.” Nate meant every single word, his magic pulling the truth from Nate’s body. Ash’s life outweighed his own fear.

“I will help you.” he choked out. “Take me to her.”

Nate grabbed his arm. “Good choice.”

————-

Bay’s sword went through the male like paper, the blade down to the hilt in flesh. Pulling the blade out, he ached it to another male’s neck.

“Why the fuck are so many attacking?” Bay yelled. “Was there some kind of revolt?”

Cassian ripped out a throat, his fingers sticky with blood. “It was started by Keir.”

Blake punched a male in the nose. Hard enough cartilage ruptured the brain. The male crumpled to the ground. “That fucker is dead when I see him next.”

“He’s locked in the interrogation rooms.” Bay panted. “Your father is going to get information out of him.” Oh no.

Both he and Blake echoed, “This is a diversion.”

Cassian slammed a head against the wall. The sound of the male’s skull cracking filled Bay’s ears. “There is too many too split up and find him. We need to hold the line. We can’t let them get to either the High Lord and Lady or the heirs.”

They were so, so fucked.

————

The High Lord poured his healing magic into her placenta as he had instructed. Azriel had learned a lot about deliveries when he found out Mor was pregnant with Blake; just in case something went wrong. Cauldron, he was glad he knew what was wrong.

Nate winnowed in, pushing Ash forward. “Do it.”

Ash’s throat was red with fingerprints. His son had forced him to come. Leaning down, Ash surveyed Feyre’s body. Her skin was dangerously pale, her bleeding was slowed, thanks to Rhys, but still flowing too fast. She was close to Death.

“Please,” Rhys’s voice cracked. “Please save my mate.”

Ash sucked in a breath, his hand rested on her heart. A bright light glowed beneath Ash’s fingers.

“Please, please, please.” Ash begged under his breath. His eyes were squeezed shut, his breath shallow. “Let me save her.”

The light pulsed, Ash’s nose started to bleed down past his lips. His eyes opened, a bright green, almost glowing, casting a shadow across his cheeks. He coughed and removed his hand from her sternum, his lips were red with blood.

Ash put his fingers to Feyre’s throat and exhaled. “She’s out of the woods. For now.”

Rhys dropped his head into his hands. “Thank the Cauldron.” He looked up to Ash. “Thank you, Ash. Thank you. So much.”

Ash shook his head, the glowing of his eyes starting to dim down. Ash slid back against the wall, his long hair scattered around him. “I saved her,” he breathed. “I saved her.”

Nate’s voice was tight. “What now? We are surrounded and can’t move her right away.”

Rhys’s thumb brushed Feyre’s cheek before standing. “Not for long.”

—————

Blake ran his sword through the male’s throat. Keir was dead. He was going to kill him slowly. He warned the male what would happen if he fucked up. He should have killed him after he broke Nate’s wrist.

Rhys came out of the cells. His finery was covered in blood and dirt. His face was bleeding, his eyes unfocused and his face was a brutal nightmare.

Darkness slammed out from around him, dropping the revolt to their knees, clawing at their throats.

“You just couldn’t help yourselves,” Rhys purred. “You wanted me dead. My mate dead. My children dead.” Rhys’s face hardened, his starry eyes glowed. “You failed.”

Sound cracked around them all, dropping each member of the revolt in a bloodless silence. He shattered each and every one of their minds.

Rhys leaned a hand against the wall, his breath uneasy.

“Keir is gone,” Rhys said. “When we find him. He is going to regret the day he was born.”

———–

Bay slid past Rhys and flew down the hall. He stopped short. “Ash?”

Ash turned to him, his face-

“I’m fine,” Ash said.

“No you’re not!” Bay bellowed. “What the fuck happened?!”

“Feyre was dying,” Nate said quietly. “I went to get Ash.”

“You forced him to heal her?” Ash so much hasn’t healed anyone since he got back from the Dawn Court. He wouldn’t be here voluntarily. 

Nate met his stare. “Yes I did.” He had no room to judge. He forced Tarus to heal Zevakyn in the Blood Rite. But this was Ash and-

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Ash said, wiping blood from his mouth. “Feyre is alive and I’m fine.”

“Shut up, Ash,” Bay snarled. “No you aren’t.”

Bay knelt down, examining Feyre’s face. It was starting to flush with color. Bay pulled off his shirt, covering her with it. It was covered in blood but at least it would cover her.

He looked back up at Ash. “This almost killed you.”

“I know,” he tried to grin. “I was there.”

Bay gripped Ash’s face, “Thank you.”

“You keep touching me like that and you’ll have to buy me dinner. I warn you, I’m not a cheap date. I expect flo-”

Bay snorted and hugged him. “You do something like this again and I will kill you.”

Ash froze before hugging him back. “We both know I’ll be doing something like this again. It’s just who I am.”

He didn’t care. As long as Ash stayed safe and alive, he would be okay. He had lost too many people and losing Ash or Nate, that would kill him.

————-

Cassian put Rhys’s arm around his shoulder and helped him stand upright. His High Lord was on edge and was weak. The Cells sapped so much of his strength from him.

“How’s Feyre?”

Rhys groaned, “She’s okay. Ash saved her. It nearly killed himself to do it, but he saved her.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bay had gone in there before them. He would not be happy with Ash being in this place. Or being near dead.

“Let’s get Feyre and go home,” Cassian said. 

—————–

The female lifted the cloak to cover her face, covering her starry eyes and shifting hair.

It would seem she had made a mistake. She had highly misjudged Cassian and the High Lords abilities. And Blake was not what she expected. She expected the arrogance, the vicious grin. She did not expect the genuine kindness in his features, or the ability to dance or the empathy.

She supposed she had grossly miscalculated her family and acted too soon.

She would not make this mistake again.

———–  
She could hear it outside the cells. Blood and death and ruin. Cassian and Blake were out there. So was Bay. Nate looked seconds away from bolting, to get to him. Instead, he dug his fingers into the towel, his eyes were near black with barely restrained impulse. Out of his brothers, Nate was the one who was to act first, damn the questions. And he was fighting his impulse to go to Bay. How either of those boys managed to go years without actually being together remained a mystery to her.

“Nate,” she blinked slowly, “Go to Bay.”

“No,” he said tightly. “You need me more.”

“Don’t worry about him, focus on your baby.” Azriel ordered. “A big one this time.”

Her palms connected with the stone floor. Her chin to her chest. She pushed.

Azriel looked up at her, the sound of crying filled the cell. Biela.

“It’s a girl,” Nate breathed.

She tried to smile. Nate wrapped a towel around her daughter and scooted up to her. Feyre looked down at the baby. Inky Black hair and wickedly bright blue-grey eyes. Biela, she was different. She leaned her head back against the cool stone. She just needed to close her eyes, just for a moment; then she could hold her children.

———–

The sound of drums filled the night sky. Bonfires reached the sky, revelers and females littered around her. She had done Calanmai before. She knelt, ready for the magic to consume her. She had done this twice before, but this time, her nose was enveloped so strongly with the scent of Jasmine and citrus, she almost forgot where she was. But it was gone in an instant.

What the hell just happened?

———-

His sight was starting to come back. He could see outlines and vague movement but it was too slow. And Feyre, she wasn’t moving. His heart was in his throat and his mate was unconscious and-

“Feyre-” Rhys started, moving to his nephew. “Nate take him. Feyre don’t you dare close your eyes.” He moved two fingers to her throat. Her heartbeat was thready. “Az-”

“The bleeding,” Azriel said. “It won’t stop. Nate, you take the twins to your mother and get Amren. Now. Rhys, you help me. She’s going to hemorrhage if we dont stop this now.”

Nate took the babies. “I’ll get Ash.”

“He won’t help,” Azriel said, ripping the skirts from Feyre’s body. “Not after Nesta.”

“I’ll make him,” Nate growled and winnowed away.

“Rhys,” Azriel said, cutting into Feyre’s abdomen. “Can you do this? You are a High Lord. Your healing can keep her alive until either Ash or Amren get here.”

He would move heaven and earth to keep her alive; he would do whatever he had to. “Yes. What do I need to do.”

————–

The rooms were dark besides the candle atop the table and Elain reading. His aunt almost dropped her book. “Nate!” she exclaimed. “What are you-”

He handed her the twins. She blinked before bringing them to her chest.

“Where is Ash?”

“The training ground out back-”

He winnowed.

———

Ash felt his cousin before he saw him. His heart was pounding so fast and his blood pressure was through the roof. He smelled like blood and birth. And fear. Bone deep fear that he had smelled before.

“Nate?” He asked carefully. “What are you-”

Nate gripped his shoulders. “I need you to help Feyre. She’s bleeding out and-”

“I can’t. I can’t-” Not after Nesta, not after the baby. He could barely close his eyes and not see-

Nate clasped both sides of his face. “Yes you can. Feyre is your aunt too. You were willing to die to bring back Nesta. You feel guilt for not being able to save her. Here is your chance to make up for it.”

“I-”

A low snarl came from Nate, his cousin gripped his throat, his nails dug into his skin. “I swear on the Cauldron, if the next few words out of your mouth aren’t ‘I will help you’ I will rip out your throat and let your fancy healing magic grow you a new one.” Nate meant every single word, his magic pulling the truth from Nate’s body. Ash’s life outweighed his own fear.

“I will help you.” he choked out. “Take me to her.”

Nate grabbed his arm. “Good choice.”

————-

Bay’s sword went through the male like paper, the blade down to the hilt in flesh. Pulling the blade out, he ached it to another male’s neck.

“Why the fuck are so many attacking?” Bay yelled. “Was there some kind of revolt?”

Cassian ripped out a throat, his fingers sticky with blood. “It was started by Keir.”

Blake punched a male in the nose. Hard enough cartilage ruptured the brain. The male crumpled to the ground. “That fucker is dead when I see him next.”

“He’s locked in the interrogation rooms.” Bay panted. “Your father is going to get information out of him.” Oh no.

Both he and Blake echoed, “This is a diversion.”

Cassian slammed a head against the wall. The sound of the male’s skull cracking filled Bay’s ears. “There is too many too split up and find him. We need to hold the line. We can’t let them get to either the High Lord and Lady or the heirs.”

They were so, so fucked.

————

The High Lord poured his healing magic into her placenta as he had instructed. Azriel had learned a lot about deliveries when he found out Mor was pregnant with Blake; just in case something went wrong. Cauldron, he was glad he knew what was wrong.

Nate winnowed in, pushing Ash forward. “Do it.”

Ash’s throat was red with fingerprints. His son had forced him to come. Leaning down, Ash surveyed Feyre’s body. Her skin was dangerously pale, her bleeding was slowed, thanks to Rhys, but still flowing too fast. She was close to Death.

“Please,” Rhys’s voice cracked. “Please save my mate.”

Ash sucked in a breath, his hand rested on her heart. A bright light glowed beneath Ash’s fingers.

“Please, please, please.” Ash begged under his breath. His eyes were squeezed shut, his breath shallow. “Let me save her.”

The light pulsed, Ash’s nose started to bleed down past his lips. His eyes opened, a bright green, almost glowing, casting a shadow across his cheeks. He coughed and removed his hand from her sternum, his lips were red with blood.

Ash put his fingers to Feyre’s throat and exhaled. “She’s out of the woods. For now.”

Rhys dropped his head into his hands. “Thank the Cauldron.” He looked up to Ash. “Thank you, Ash. Thank you. So much.”

Ash shook his head, the glowing of his eyes starting to dim down. Ash slid back against the wall, his long hair scattered around him. “I saved her,” he breathed. “I saved her.”

Nate’s voice was tight. “What now? We are surrounded and can’t move her right away.”

Rhys’s thumb brushed Feyre’s cheek before standing. “Not for long.”

—————

Blake ran his sword through the male’s throat. Keir was dead. He was going to kill him slowly. He warned the male what would happen if he fucked up. He should have killed him after he broke Nate’s wrist.

Rhys came out of the cells. His finery was covered in blood and dirt. His face was bleeding, his eyes unfocused and his face was a brutal nightmare.

Darkness slammed out from around him, dropping the revolt to their knees, clawing at their throats.

“You just couldn’t help yourselves,” Rhys purred. “You wanted me dead. My mate dead. My children dead.” Rhys’s face hardened, his starry eyes glowed. “You failed.”

Sound cracked around them all, dropping each member of the revolt in a bloodless silence. He shattered each and every one of their minds.

Rhys leaned a hand against the wall, his breath uneasy.

“Keir is gone,” Rhys said. “When we find him. He is going to regret the day he was born.”

———–

Bay slid past Rhys and flew down the hall. He stopped short. “Ash?”

Ash turned to him, his face-

“I’m fine,” Ash said.

“No you’re not!” Bay bellowed. “What the fuck happened?!”

“Feyre was dying,” Nate said quietly. “I went to get Ash.”

“You forced him to heal her?” Ash so much hasn’t healed anyone since he got back from the Dawn Court. He wouldn’t be here voluntarily. 

Nate met his stare. “Yes I did.” He had no room to judge. He forced Tarus to heal Zevakyn in the Blood Rite. But this was Ash and-

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Ash said, wiping blood from his mouth. “Feyre is alive and I’m fine.”

“Shut up, Ash,” Bay snarled. “No you aren’t.”

Bay knelt down, examining Feyre’s face. It was starting to flush with color. Bay pulled off his shirt, covering her with it. It was covered in blood but at least it would cover her.

He looked back up at Ash. “This almost killed you.”

“I know,” he tried to grin. “I was there.”

Bay gripped Ash’s face, “Thank you.”

“You keep touching me like that and you’ll have to buy me dinner. I warn you, I’m not a cheap date. I expect flo-”

Bay snorted and hugged him. “You do something like this again and I will kill you.”

Ash froze before hugging him back. “We both know I’ll be doing something like this again. It’s just who I am.”

He didn’t care. As long as Ash stayed safe and alive, he would be okay. He had lost too many people and losing Ash or Nate, that would kill him.

————-

Cassian put Rhys’s arm around his shoulder and helped him stand upright. His High Lord was on edge and was weak. The Cells sapped so much of his strength from him.

“How’s Feyre?”

Rhys groaned, “She’s okay. Ash saved her. It nearly killed himself to do it, but he saved her.”

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Bay had gone in there before them. He would not be happy with Ash being in this place. Or being near dead.

“Let’s get Feyre and go home,” Cassian said. 

—————–

The female lifted the cloak to cover her face, covering her starry eyes and shifting hair.

It would seem she had made a mistake. She had highly misjudged Cassian and the High Lords abilities. And Blake was not what she expected. She expected the arrogance, the vicious grin. She did not expect the genuine kindness in his features, or the ability to dance or the empathy.

She supposed she had grossly miscalculated her family and acted too soon.

She would not make this mistake again.  
\--------  
Feyre’s face smoothed out in sleep. Her skin still a bit pale but she was healed. With the twins in his arms, Rhys crept out of the room and into the Nursery.

The chair in the corner, the ebony cribs, the threadbare rug stretching across the cherry floor; the nursery was worn and warm and meant to be lived in and he planned on doing just that.

Putting his children in their cribs, Rhys slid out of the room. He needed to find Azriel and Cassian. Keir needed to be taken care of once and for all. He would not forgive the attempt on his children or his mate’s life. He was going to enjoy taking him apart.

He found them in the study, with Nate and Ash.

He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. “What’s going on?”

Cassian ignored him. “Look. Nate, more than anyone, I want him to sleep. But if you two idiots try to force Bay to sleep and then he wakes up, he will kill you. You do realize this, yes?” Cassian crossed his arms. “Between being locked in his nightmares,” his eyes flicked to Ash, “And you using your magic on him right after promising not to and you being hurt already, when he wakes up, he will kill both of you.”

Ouch.

Nate crossed his arms, “You have a better idea? The lack of sleep and grieving is driving him suicidal.” He told them what Bay said to him. Ash getting himself killed saving Bay, it would make the guilt so profound he couldn’t live with himself.

Cassian’s jaw clenched. “Let’s go.”

As they left, Rhys sat next to Azriel. Aysel started to crawl to him in her crimson footed pajamas. Picking her up, Aysel stood on his knees, her fingers pulling at his hair.

He winced at tiny nails digging into his scalp. “Isn’t she supposed to be asleep?”

Azriel shrugged, “She know’s something is wrong.”

“Speaking of something wrong,” Rhys said, pulling her down from his shoulder. “Where are we on Keir?”

Nuella and Ceridwen are out looking for him. As are my other spies. We can’t completely trust he would use magic. He’s old and would know we have his magic traced. We’ll find him and find out what he knows about the coup.” Azriel’s shadows twisted around him, darkening. His voice was a whisper of darkness, honed and lethal. “And then I find out what he did to my son.”

————-

He was tired, but he couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t sure if he was keeping himself awake to stay away from the nightmares or if he truly couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t had this bad of an episode for a while. In fact, with Nate sleeping next to him the nightmares tended to not come. Instead he slept peacefully. But this past week had been brutal, this day the eleventh anniversary of his mother’s death, it still felt incredibly raw.

The day after spending two weeks getting back to her just to find her dead in her bed. The day he tried to break into the still frozen ground so he could bury her properly but failed. The day he tried to get people to help him put her to rest. It haunted him, imprinted on the lids of his eyes.

He palmed his eyes before looking up. He froze. Cassian, Nate and Ash stood in formation, blocking the door. Their faces were set in grim lines and their arns crossed.

“No,” his voice cracked. “Don’t.” Ash was hurt. He was still healing and- he looked at Ash, “You promised.” His friend’s jaw was clenched, his eyes betrayed nothing else.

“You need sleep,” Cassian said. “Are you going to fight us?”

Bay narrowed his brows, “It isn’t a fair fight, now is it?” He knew he could take Ash down, and injure Nate, but Cassian, he would be as good as dead. And he was sleep deprived. They could best him.

Nate winced. Good.

Cassian leveled a stare, “I know you have nightmares, Bay. I do too. I see Nesta dying over and over again. I see Cass dying. I see you spiraling and I can’t stop it. But I still sleep. If I went without sleep with the life I have, you and Aysel would be parentless. You need to sleep before I lose another child.”

“I am not your child,” he said. Cassian blinked. “I am not your blood.” He didn’t have any blood left. He just had himself. “I am a charity case and I will not let Ash get himself hurt helping me.” He stood despite the dizziness in his head. Ash had to touch him in order to drop his heartbeat. “I am not worth his life.”

————

 

Bay’s blood pressure spiked. Ash knew he was pissed and sleep deprived and was ready to fight his way out of the townhouse. If only so he didn’t force him asleep. But in this state, Bay was weak and couldn’t best them.

Cassian and Nate acted. Bay managed to hit Cassian’s jaw before they could succeed in restraining him. They locked their hands around Bay’s arms and legs, keeping him flesh against the mattress.

“Get off me,” Bay growled.

“Let him help you,” Nate gritted out.

“Fuck you,” Bay snarled, trying to edge out of Nate’s grip.

“You’ll thank me when you wake up.”

“No, I’ll kill you when I wake up.” He couldn’t tell if Bay was lying.

Ash got up onto the bed, his hand pressed to Bay’s sternum. Bay’s heart thudded beneath his fingers, his chest vibrating from growling.

“Don’t,” Bay said. His magic slid around Bay’s heart, slowing it. Bay’s eyes fluttered. “Stop.”

————–

Rhys rubbed Aysel’s back. The Princess’s cries vibrated around his mind. Rhys looked to Azriel. The male’s eyes were narrowed, his shadows twisted around him. “Why won’t she stop?”

“Give it a few minutes,” Az said quietly. “My guess is she’s picking up on the fight between Bay and the others.”

Rhys grimaced, “How does Bay deal with these cries in his head all the time?” It wasn’t a normal cry, nor Daemati. Aysel was different, just like her mother. And fuck was she loud.

Azriel shrugged, “Nate says he gets up and puts her back to sleep or gets Cassian.”

The cries slowed to a stop and Rhys tipped his head back, “Thank the Cauldron.”

Ceridwen and Nuella appeared. The twins inclined their head to him and turned to Azriel. “We found him.”

Azriel stood, his shadows twisting around him and onto the floor. Aysel squealed at them. Rhys wrapped his arm around her, keeping her from falling off his knee. Azriel turned to him. “Would you like me to begin?”

“Bring him in and wait for me.”

Azriel nodded before leaving. He was going to get his answers one way or another.  
————-

Cassian released Bay’s arm. Bay was asleep; Ash slowly removed his hand from Bay’s chest and climbed from down off Nate’s bed with shaky limbs.

“He is going to kill us,” Ash said, wearily. “Not metaphorically, literally.” Ash gripped one of the columns to the bed and shook his head, his free hand palming his eyes. “I am going to pass out.”

“Nate, help Ash to his rooms.” Nate opened his mouth to argue. “Now, Nate. I’ll stay with him.”

Nate wrapped Ash’s arm around his shoulder and near dragged him out of the room. Cassian sat next to Bay and examined his face. Flushed red and tear tracks. The betrayal and anger smoothed out by sleep. It made him look younger. Reminded him of the petrified eight year old that Ash brought to him.

Three days of sleep deprivation made Bay snap at him. ‘Not your son, not your blood.’ Bay had made himself a separate person from the family for a long time, always prepared to be cast out. He could be surrounded by people and still feel alone. He knew the feeling, still hurt though.

Cassian brushed back Bay’s bangs. He didn’t move. He hoped Bay was so far deep he wasn’t dreaming.

“I’m so sorry, Bay.” He whispered. “I”ve been so busy with everything that I forgot you. You were breaking and I forgot you.” He tried to make time to talk to Bay, especially the last few days, but with Keir and Feyre and Aysel and being King and a Commander…He let his son fall through the cracks and didn’t realize how bad it was until Nate got him.

——

Ash slid into the bed. His head was static, luckily Bay was already tired and didn’t require much use of magic, even if he fought through it. “Nate, I know you love him but we really should not have done that. He will not forgive or forget this violation.”

“I know,” Nate whispered. “But we had to.”

“It’s been years but, I can heal nightmares. I healed Father’s. But after today, Bay will let me nowhere near him ever again. We broke his trust.” Healing his nightmares required Bay to let him into his subconscious. After this, he would never let him near him again.

Nate sighed, “How long will he stay asleep?”

“A while,” Ash said. “Probably close to a full day.” Ash inclined his head, “You aren’t going anywhere are you?” He had wondered if his cousin’s interest in Bay was just infatuation. He was beginning to realize it was much, much more than that.

Nate ignored the question. “Will he dream?”

“I don’t know. Cauldron, I hope not. I think I put him under deep enough it should be dreamless.” He didn’t know much about Bay’s dreams, only that they were about his mother. Only Cassian and Nate know anything about her. Ash had asked only for Bay to shut him down each time.

“Thank you, Ash. For helping him and Feyre.” Nate paused at the door. “And me.”

Ash blinked. “No problem. ”

He passed out before he hit the pillow.

———–

Nate ran a hand through his hair while walking down the hall. They had gotten Baylor asleep, but the way they did it, he wondered if he destroyed their relationship. He wondered what Baylor would do when he woke up. Something told him it wasn’t going to be pretty.

His father was coming out of the study, his eyes dark, his shadows darker, twisting around him.

His father studied him. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, sir.” Nate lied. “Where are you going?”

“We found Keir.”

Keir was going to tell his father everything that they did to him. Nate knew it. He didn’t want his father to know, didn’t want anyone to know. He had buried the past and just wanted to kill Keir and be done with it.

“Do you want to come?” Azriel asked quietly.

Yes he did. “How long do you need him alive for?”

“Until we get every last last piece of information from him. A week at least.”

“I’ll come later,” Nate said. “After Baylor wakes up. He has his own questions.” When his father was finished, he and Bay would bring in Cyrian. They were getting their own answers one way or the other. And taunting Baylor with his father, that was a fatal mistake.

“He’ll forgive you,” his father said.

“He wants to kill me,” Nate said. He sighed, “I really hope I didn’t just destroy my relationship.”

“You didn’t. Once he’s had sleep his mind will start working again and realize you both did what you thought was best.” Rhys came out with Aysel, the princess was sleeping on his shoulder, her face dug into his shirt. “But if it makes you feel better, Feyre wanted to kill me too. She didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Nate said. “But she’s your mate. She couldn’t kill you if she wanted to.”

Rhys and his father met each other’s eyes. Nate frowned.

“It’ll be alright,” his father said. “Go check on him. Tell Cassian we found him.”

———

Keir had made it to the border before being caught. Azriel stood in front of him. His face cold and unyielding. His siphons glowed and arms crossed. The moon casted unforgiving shadows across his face, its darkness mixing with his shadows.

“Hello, Keir.”

—————  
Mor peered into the room. Her son’s hair was up atop his head, his fingers working a sketch as he sat cross legged in the chair. The cuff in his ear glinted in the darkness. His sleeves rolled up, showing the swirls of stars and paint tattooed on his forearms. He hadn’t moved almost the entire day. Bay had been sleeping for the past eighteen hours and Nate hadn’t left the room.

“Pumpkin, did you get any sleep?”

Nate looked up at her, he had a pencil in his ear, the charcoal on his face darkened his eyes even more than she thought possible, the ring in his lip lighter. His voice was scratchy from misuse.“Yes.”

She frowned. “Don’t you lie to me, Nathaniel. I may be seven months pregnant but I can still ground you.”

He sighed, digging into his chair. “No, Mother. I did not get any sleep. I wanted to be awake when Baylor woke up.” He looked at Bay. “He was tossing all night.”

She glanced at the bed. Bay was curled into onto his side, his wings tucked behind him, his hair in his eyes. He appeared to be sleeping soundly now. She looked back at Nate. Her son’s eyes were still on Bay.

She sat on the edge of the chair, curling a piece of his hair behind his ear. “You think he had nightmares?.”

He looked at her and whispered, “I think I locked him into them.”

His face was so worried and guilty, but was also set with a quiet steel. He would do whatever it took to get Bay to sleep. “Nate-”

A groan came from the bed. Sitting up, Bay palmed his eyes before looking up. Nate’s eyes snapped to Bay. They were wide. Bay slid his glasses on. The sleepiness in his eyes drowned out by anger. “Where’s Ash?”

“Living room,” Nate said.

“I wasn’t talking you.” He looked at her. “Where is he?”

“Living room,” she said.

He walked around them both, his hands clenched at his sides. She looked at Nate. His face paled, his eyes following Bay out of the room. He looked at her. “Oh no.”

————  
Rhys leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. They had been here for a few hours, Azriel gleaming information from Keir. It was hard to break Keir, but they were getting their information, one cut at a time.

Keir sat in the iron chair, chained to the floor. The mess of golden hair atop his head damp with sweat and blood.

“Do you think this will be the last?” Keir asked. “Those abominations you call children, they will always be hunted. If not by us then by someone else.”

“And each one of you will die by either my or my mate’s hand.” Anyone who went after his children would learn just how much of a monster he was.

He knew Azriel wanted information about his son. What it was that Nathaniel was keeping from him. What Keir did to him. But he was waiting, gathering information about the coup that almost ended with him and Feyre and their children dead.

“Who were you working with?” Truth-teller slid into the male’s skin, Azriel’s voice a deadly quiet that had broken many before Kier.

Keir’s face contorted, “No one.”

“Let me ask, one more time.”

————

Black rage sat in his chest, his nails cutting into his palms. Nate had looked exhausted, his face bordered between relief and worry. He didn’t give a shit. He would deal with Nate and Cassian after he dealt with Ash.

He surveyed the living room. Ash and Aysel and Cassian were in it. Ash sitting in a chair and Cassian holding Aysel, the Princess in a gray top and black leggings, her wings out behind her; he almost smiled as she squealed at him. Almost. Cassian looked up at him, his face carefully blank. He ignored him and grabbed Ash by his collar, “You’re coming with me.”

Ash’s face paled as Bay dragged him out of the town house by his shirt. He didn’t want Aysel to see him like he as angry as he was. He shoved Ash against the side of the building.

“Bay-”

His fist connected with Ash’s stomach. Ash keeled over coughing, his hands on his knees. “If anyone, anyone else had done a violation like that to me they would be dead. Touch me again and you will be too.” He has had enough people touching him.

“Bay-”

“I just had to get through yesterday. That was it. I would have been fine. But no. You had to drag me into my subconscious with my dead mother.”

Ash whispered, “You had nightmares?”

He smacked the side of Ash’s head. “It was the anniversary of my mother dying. What the fuck do you think?”

Ash’s face paled. “I can do something about that. I can heal them so you can sleep better.”

“Do you really thing I would let you into my head? After the stunt you pulled?” He didn’t want anyone to know about the nightmares he had. The ones that weren’t about his mother. He kept mental shields every second of every day just incase someone tried to get into his head. “I’m not letting you near me ever again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care if you’re ‘sorry’. I am so pissed at all of you. But you, you promised to not touch me. You were hurt and could have gotten yourself killed.” He crossed his arms. “Tell me, Ash. Did you pass out?”

He winced. “I-”

“Of course you did. What the fuck were you thinking?”

Ash pushed off the side of the building, starting towards him. “I was thinking that my brother was having a meltdown and I could help him.”

He didn’t want his help. “Worry about yourself. I’m fine.”

“You are far from fine. And who will worry about you?”

“Me.”

‘And you are doing such a bang up job with that, you self destructive midget.”

“At least I have a functioning brain you arrogant ginger giant. The next time you lay your hands on me will be the last.” Ash stared at him, his green eyes seeing something that Bay didn’t want seen. “Stop looking at me like that. Get back inside.”

———–

Cassian kept Aysel on his lap, watching Bay storm through the House and back down the hall. Ash trailed in after him, his eyes narrowed in thought.

“I’m assuming that went well,” Cassian said.

Ash slumped into a chair, his chin rested on his fist. “You ever have a problem with Bay not wanting to be touched? I did and he threatened to break my hand. ” Oh he knew about that. When Nate and Dacia locked them in the Court of Nightmares.

Cassian shrugged, “The kid doesn’t like being touched.” He knew Bay had been in fights at the Court of Nightmares and in the camps. He also suspected he had been hurt before coming to live with him and Nesta. He wasn’t stupid enough to ask. Bay would shut him down and stop talking. Rhys got in his head though. He had told him what he found and Cassian was near murderous. “It would appear both Nate and Bay are hiding secrets from their parents.”

“No wonder he reacted so violently towards me touching him.”

Cassian leaned back, his hand still holding Aysel on his lap, his daughter gripping his hair. “You have been friends with Bay for eight years. You are just now realizing this?”

———–

Azriel wiped the blood from his hands. He had gotten what he needed. Names and places. He couldn’t shake the feeling something was off. He told as much to Rhys.

“I tried getting into his head. His mental blocks were still in place. I couldn’t get in.”

Azriel nodded. “We got what we needed. I’ll have my shadows search for the people responisble.” He slid Truth - Teller in its scabbard before looking at Rhys. “I need to check in on Mor and then I’ll be coming back.”

“Do whatever you need.”

—————-

Baylor stood in the doorway, his eyes narrowed at him, his face flush with anger. His hair was still a mess, the freckles at his shoulders were stark against red skin. He had been outside. With Ash. Dread sat in Nate’s stomach. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

“Excuse me,” his mother said. Her tone bordered on warning and amusement. She still sat on the ledge of her chair, her hand resting on her stomach. She gave Baylor a stern look.

Baylor’s ears reddened. “Not you, Mor.” His eyes slid to him. “I’m talking to Nate.”

Nate shut his sketchbook and sat it on the bed before standing. “Mother, can we have the room please?”

His mother stood, her golden hair falling around her. Her hand on her stomach. She reached up, kissing his cheek. “Don’t kill each other.”

His mother left, leaving just him and Baylor in the room. The silence was deafening but the look on Baylor’s face was so much worse. Hurt and betrayal and anger. It was enough to break him.

“You,” Baylor stalked over to him, his finger in Nate’s chest.“Don’t you ever do that to me again.”

“You were suicidal.”

“And now I’m homicidal. Feel better?” At least he wasn’t turning on himself. So he did feel better actually.

Nate grabbed his hand. “Baylor-”

Baylor pulled his hand away from him. He snarled, “I had one day, Nate. Just one. But you and Cassian just had to hold me down so Ash can knock me unconscious with his magic.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “But you scared the fuck out of me.”

Most of the anger drained from his face, leaving mostly betrayal. He sighed forcefully. “I’m sorry.”

“Are we okay?”

“I’m still angry. And I will be for awhile.” Baylor’s brutal honesty was something he loved. Baylor lied to a lot of people, at least about how he was feeling. But not him. Baylor never lied to him. “But..we will be. Eventually.” Relief shot through him. “Can you promise me you will not do it again?” His voice was quiet, almost a whisper. He knew promises from him were binding. Nate didn’t break his word.

“No, I can’t. Your mental health is more important to me than staying in your good graces. If it helps you, I will do it if I need to. So will Ash. Even if you hate us afterwards.”

Baylor studied him. His face carefully blank and closed. He was at war with himself. Like usual. His thoughts going so fast he can’t make sense of them.

Nate’s shadows picked up his father. He was taking a break from Keir. Knowing his routine, he would go back and demand answers for him. He needed to get in there before his father returned. Nate looked at Baylor. “Do you still want to talk to Keir?”

Baylor’s face hardened. “Yes.”

Nate nodded. “We’re getting Cyrian.”

——————–

A knock sounded against his door and Cyrian lowered his pencil. Slowly getting up from his desk, he opened the door. Bay and Nate were standing there. Nate in his usual clothes and Bay in a hooded sweatshirt a few sizes too large, his hands in the pocket in front of it. Probably Nate’s. “What the fuck do you two want?”

“Need your help,” said Nate.

“Not interested. Go the fuck away.” He didn’t bother shutting the door before going back to his desk. He was busy and these two idiots were wasting his time.

“Cyrian. You’re going to want to help us.”

Cyrian picked up his pencil and began writing. “And why is that?”

“It involves your favorite past-time,” Bay said flatly. “Torture.”

Cyrian paused before turning around. “Who?”

“Keir.”

He didn’t like the prick. Granted, he didn’t like anyone to begin with. But Keir was vile. He had seen some of the things the male had done to both males and females. It made even him disgusted. He lowered his pencil. “I’m in.”

———

Azriel tucked a hair behind Mor’s ear. His wife rested on the couch, her legs awkwardly crossed beneath her and a book rested on her stomach. She looked up at him, her warm eyes questioning. “What are you doing back here? Are you done?”

“I wanted to check on you and the baby before I began.” Get some warmth before he slid into his icy rage and got answers for his son. “What are you reading?”

“It’s about a girl who discovers she has power over sunlight.” She smiled. “It’s pretty good. It’s a trilogy. I’m on book two.”

“Is she your favorite character?”

“No,” She smiled. “My favorite is the pirate prince.” His lips tugged into a smile. Her eyes assessed him. “What did you learn?”

He told her.

——————

Rhys leaned against the doorway; his mate was feeding Biela in the chair, her hair draped over their daughter’s body. He closed the door, giving way to privacy. He picked Bat up from the crib and sat on the floor beside his mate.

Rhys winced. “Doesn’t that hurt?”

Feyre looked down at him in mild amusement. “You bite me all the time. So no. Not really.”

Rhys flashed her a grin before turning to look down at his son. “We’ll help him. Teach him to sign using his hands. We’ll all learn too.”

Feyre nodded, her fingers brushing Biela’s cheek. “We all will.”

“He can still hear your voice, Feyre. We can still talk to him.” There was more than one way to speak to a person, especially if one was Deamaeti.

Her eyes lit up. “You’re right.”

————

Ice filled his veins. He wanted Keir dead and gone and forgotten. But first he needed his answers. Baylor needed his answers. They were going to get them, no matter how much pain and blood had to be inflicted and spilled.

Keir looked up at him, he gave him a bloody smile. “Well, well. If it isn’t Nathaniel and Bay.” His eyes slid to Cyrian. “And you.”

Cyrian unrolled his cloth with professional ease. The different blades gleamed in the light. He picked one up, inspecting the blade. He turned to Nate, his eyes cool. “Let’s begin.”

————–

Bay knew that Nate hated Keir with a passion. But whereas he, himself, it was hot temper, with Nate, it was ice. He was kind like his mother, but raged like his father.

Nate crossed his arms, his eyes cold and unyielding. “You said to ask where Baylor’s father got the claw marks on his faces. That suggests you know who he is. How?”

“I would have thought you had more questions regarding why I hurt you. Instead you ask for him. How touching.”

“Wrong answer,” Nate said.

Cyrian slid his blade into the skin above Keir’s collarbone, imbedding it into the bone. Keir groaned at the pain.Cyrian picked up a second blade, positioning it beneath Kier’s knee cap. His voice was cold. “Let’s try that again.”

“I know because I did some digging into the Bastard fawning over you. I wanted to know where he came from.”

Bay knew where he came from. A cold and brutal camp where females were treated horribly. His mother was one of them. Her wings clipped, left there to fend for herself.

“Who is he,” Bay asked.

“I don’t know his name.”

“Wrong answer,” Nate said.

Cyrian slid the blade beneath the kneecap. His fingers perfectly still. “You still want to be able to stand? Answer him.”

“I don’t know,” Keir gritted out. “I just met him once.” Keir smiled coldly at him. “He looks just like you, you know.”

A chill went down his spine. “What are the claw marks from?”

Keir’s smile widened. “Your mother.”

His world stopped and turned on it’s side. He remembered her mania fueled lessons. “No means no, Baby. Never forget that.” She had beaten it into his head, nearly everyday before she died. And the times he had thrown a fit, he would never forget the look she gave him; it bordered on fear. Was he…

His heart pounded though every part of him. His stomach hurt. He took a breath. He needed to stay calm. Nate needed him.

Nate looked at him, his eyes were wide. “Do you need to step out?”

“No.” Bay turned to Keir and punched him in the face. The male’s nose broke beneath his fingers. “What else do you know?”

“Nothing.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me,” Bay snarled.

“I don’t know,” Keir said. “How does it feel to know that every time your mother looked at you she saw her rapist looking back at her?”

His nails dug into his palms. This was too much. His head was filled with a deafening silence but at the same time his thoughts were bombarding him and choking him. Cyrian dug the blade up further. With a twist, a sickening pop filled Bay’s ears. Keir howled as Cyrian removed the blade and turned to him. “Keep it together, or get out. This is the reaction he wants.”

He could have a breakdown later. Not right now. Keir needed dealt with, Nate still needed him. He took a breath. “You’re right. Continue.” Cyrain studied him before picking up another of his baldes.

“What else do you know about Baylor’s father?”

“Nothing,” Keir panted. “I swear it.”

—————

“Now then.” Nate said. “I want you to acknowledge what you did to me.”

He could feel Baylor’s eyes on him. Cyrian slid out another blade, positioning it between two ribs. “Start talking.”

“Are we talking about the females or the broken bones.” Keir panted. “There have been so many things, I can’t keep them all straight.”

“Are we talking about me sending female after female to you,” Keir asked. “You should be thanking me instead of condemning me to die.” The females he sent, their lips on his skin, in his hair, trying to get him to bed them. All make him attracted to females and to make his bloodline better. “I picked out each one. All beautiful, all from pure bloodlines. They were eager to get to know you.” They were and Nate hated each and every female that tried to put their hands on him.

Baylor’s face froze over, his hazel-green eyes lit with his bottomless anger. Nate knew he had a thing about people being touched. It was one of the reasons he kept it from him. Baylor would have snapped and killed Keir before he got the chance to.

“What are their names,” Baylor said.

Keir slid an amused, albeit painful, look to Baylor. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Nate stopped Baylor before he could rip out his throat. “Tell me,” Baylor snarled.

Cyrian slid the blade into Keir’s chest, blood spilled down his fingers. Kier groaned, listing the names. There were five. Nate had killed one of them, a while back. She was the last one to get near him. She had gone too far.

————-

They were dead. Every single one of them. Bay would make sure of it. This damned place and the people living here. Monsters, every single one of them. He didn’t care if they were females, it was probably why Nate didn’t kill them. For putting their hands on Nate, he would become a monster, just like them, and butcher them all.

Sudden realization sunk in. Nate’s fascination with tattoos and piercings. Nate had several tattoos. On his forearms, a few on his back, his chest; he had his ear and lip pierced. He…he got them as a way to make his body his. Bay’s heart collapsed on itself and he was…murderous.

Nate’s face was ice, his hands clamped on him, holding him back, to keep him from killing Keir too soon. Bay wasn’t mad Nate kept this from him, he kept his own abuse from Nate. He had a suspicion Cassian knew though. Had a feeling Rhys had gotten in his head before he learned how to use shields.

Keir coughed, “And then there’s the broken bones, I suppose? I don’t see why you are complaining you can still waste your time by drawing.”

“I had to relearn how to draw over and over again because of you,” Nate said quietly.

Bay closed his eyes and took a breath. He had seen Nate struggle with pencils and charcoal. He had said it was from training exercises, from punching wrong. He sighed, and Ash had healed him. Which means Ash knew about this. He wouldn’t heal anyone without knowing why they were hurt.

————–

Cyrian twisted the blade. He knew Nate valued art above all, well, besides Bay, his family, and wings. Keir’s scream was choked and broken. He took a limited amount of satisfaction from it.

He glanced behind him. He hadn’t seen Bay’s face like that before, or the sound coming from him. It was purely savage, Nate’s muscles were strained holding him back. If he didn’t know better, it was taking all his strength keeping Bay from attacking.

“Stop,” Nate said quietly. “He’s done. I got what I wanted.”

He turned to face Keir and smiled. “Looks like we’re done.”

———-

Nate let Baylor go and turned to Kier. Keir looked up at him. His face bloody and unrecognisable. He was ready to let this go. His nails dug into Keir’s throat, and he pulled back, taking the skin with him; Letting Keir choke on his blood. Seconds later, he was dead.

He looked back, Baylor was gone.

——————-  
Azriel rolled up his sleeves before entering the cell. Blood painting across the floor, Keir’s throat ripped out and bones were removed from his body. He was dead. But there was a scent to the room. Three scents in fact; Nate, Bay and Cyrain Infernos. He went to find Cyrian.

————

A soft knock sounded at his door. Cyrian looked up slowly. The amount of control it took to not snap his pencil in half was tremendous. Slowly getting up from his chair, he went to his door. He opened it to find the Spymaster before him. His shadows the epitome of darkness, twisting around him, highlighting his hazel eyes. “What?”

“I know you were with Keir,” Azriel said. “I want you to tell me what he said about Nathaniel.”

“No,” He leaned against the door-frame. Nate had his reasons for not telling his father. He wasn’t arrogant enough to spill that kind of information. It also happened to piss the Spymaster off. It was a win-win situation. “But it’s over. He’s fine now. He can get past it and move on.”

Azriel studied him, “You are certain?”

He rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m certain.”

Azriel studied him. “Why did you help him?”

He shrugged. “I was bored.”

————-

Azriel left Cyrian. He knew the male couldn’t break. He was Atropine’s son. But he believed him. He also knew Nate would never tell him what happened. Neither would Bay. Nate went after Keir when he knew he would be with his mother. It was purely strategic. Getting Keir dead before he could tell him what he wanted to know. It wasn’t a want, Azriel needed to know.

———

Rhys crossed his arms. “You know Sign Language?”

Amren sniffed, “I’ve been around for a while Rhysand. Of course I know Sign Language.”

He slid her the midnight black box. She took it into her fingers, opening the lid. Inside lay another ruby. She looked up at him. “Much thanks, High Lord.” She closed the lid, sliding the box onto the table. “Are you bribing me into teaching you how to sign?”

His lips curled into a smile. “If you would be so kind.”

“Mmhmm,” She murmured, taking a sip of wine. “And who all would I be teaching? I am assuming it would be more than just you and Feyre.”

“All of us. I want us all fluent by the time he’s six months old. As I understand it, that is a prime age to start teaching and learning it for a child.”

She inclined her head, “I will do what I can.”

————-

He had a vaguely good idea where Baylor went. He went after the names Keir gave him. He had known Baylor for eight years, known that was was always angry. But this, Baylor’s face was purely primal and savage. It had taken everything to hold him back. The male may be small, but he was strong and fast.

He rounded the corner, an Illyrian hunting blade in his hand. Cyrain had gone home, his father most likely knows by now Keir is dead and knows that he was the one responsible. He stopped short. Baylor was sitting in front of the door, head to toe in blood, his ashy hair matted in red, his face blank and faraway. The only damage to him Nate could see was bloody and bruised knuckles. He was in shock.

Nate slowed to a stop, “Baylor.”

Bay looked up at him, his skin unbelievably pale. “I ruined your sweatshirt. Sorry.”

Nate blinked. Baylor had killed before. Self defense, the Blood Rite. But he had not gone out and hunted down people to kill. Judging by the amount of blood on him, he killed each person Keir listed. “It’s yours, don’t worry about it.”

Nate got to his haunches in front of Baylor. They needed to get out of here and in the state Baylor was in, he couldn’t just winnow him out. “I want you to go inside and wait for me. Do you understand?”

“Inside here?” Baylor motioned to the door behind him, to his brother’s chambers. Blake wouldn’t care if Baylor stayed here.

“Yes.”

Baylor nodded. “Help me up?”

Nate held out his hand for Baylor to take. Helping him stand, Nate took him inside and grabbed a blanket. “Sit on the couch and don’t move.”

Baylor nodded, sitting down. Pulling his knees to his chest, Baylor was quiet, more so than usual. Nate wrapped the blanket around him. “I’ll be back. Stay.” Baylor didn’t answer.

He winnowed.

————-

Aysel splashed in the water, drenching Cassian. With a forearm to his eyes, Cassian wiped the water away. He sighed, “You’re going to get water everywhere, Sweetheart.”

Aysel looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and deliberately splashed harder, water coating the floor again. He snorted, running the picture of water of water carefully over her head. “See? All clean.”

Wrapping the towel around her, Cassian lifted Aysel out of the tub and dried her off. Her golden-brown hair stuck up all around her head. He slid the diaper on her, backwards to make sure she couldn’t get it off. It was a struggle getting the damned thing on her, with her wiggling so much.

He let her go, let her crawl out of the bathroom and into the hall. He followed her out, just to find Nate covered in blood. His instincts had him reaching for his daughter and a weapon. “What happened? Where’s Bay?”

“It’s not my blood,” Nate said. There was something wrong with nate’s tone, his voice was too flat, the only emotion in it was the urgency. “Baylor needs your help.”

“Is it his?” Cassian’s heart stopped. “Where is my son?”

“It’s not his.” Nate said. Some of the tension dissolved in Cassian’s chest. “I locked him in Blake’s rooms in the court of Nightmares.”

Locked him in? To keep him from others or others from him. “What happened?”

“Baylor learned a lot of information today.”

Cassian picked Aysel up, he needed to leave her with Mor. “What kind of information. Bay wouldn’t kill anyone without a damn well good reason.” 

Nate’s face was detached. “Information about me.”

His attention snapped into focus. “You went after Keir.”

“Yes.”

“What information was it that had Bay killing someone?”

“I don’t…want to tell you.”

“I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to kill me. You tell me what the fuck happened right now, Nathaniel.” Wait. “First let me give Aysel to Mor and Feyre. Then me and you are going to get Bay and have a long talk.”

—————-

Mor pulled Bat to her chest, letting him sleep in her arms. She looked at Feyre, her friend was tired, a little worn out. But she was positively happy. “How have the past few days been? Between giving birth and almost dying, it has been a bit much.”

Feyre snorted, “It’s going well, I think. Rhys has been getting up, letting me sleep. Although I get up with him. We both sit in the nursery, getting the twins back to sleep.”

She smiled. “Teamwork, I like it.”

“Mor, Feyre. I need you two to watch Aysel.”

She turned to find Cassian and Nate and Aysel. The baby was in a diaper, her hair wet. Cassian’s face granite, his eyes alert. But Nate, her son was covered in blood and was near detached. “What happened?!”

“I’m fine, I promise,” Nate said. Her son was most definitely not fine. His tone was near flat, he was covered in blood and he was lying. “It’s not mine.”

“And whose is it?” Feyre asked, reaching for Aysel.

“Keir’s,” Cassian said.

Dread set in. “You killed him before your father could get to him, didn’t you?”

Nate looked directly at her, his face betrayed nothing. “Yes.”

“I expect an explanation, Nathaniel. Where’s Bay?”

“That’s why I need you to watch Aysel,” Cassian said. “I need to go after him. He’s locked in Blake’s room in the Court of Nightmares.”

“What? Why?”

“That’s what I’m going to find out.”

—————

Cassian found Bay sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, his face trained on a spot in front of him. Cassian lowered to his haunches. “Hey Kid.” Bay’s eyes slid to his, at least he was acknowledging him. Cassian stood, looking to Nate. “Tell me what happened.”

“We got Cyrian and confronted Keir, asking him questions.” he gestured to continue. “Keir had told Baylor that he had met his father. That Baylor was a product of rape and that he looked just like his father.” Keir wouldn’t lie about something like that, he would use it as a weapon, strike where it hurt the worst. In the heart where it would not be easily forgotten.

Cassian closed his eyes and took a breath. He opened his eyes, “What was the information about you?”

Nate’s eyes trained on the floor. “I wanted Keir to acknowledge what he had done to me. All of it before I killed him.”

Cassian’s heart was collapsing in on itself. “It was more than a broken wrist.”

“Yes, much more.”

His words were so guttural he could barely make them out for himself. “Did someone hurt you?”

“Yes.” Nate’s words were barely a whisper, “Baylor made Keir list the names of the females he sent after me.” List. There were a list of names. “I had to hold Baylor back from killing him before he finished, I wanted Keir to admit to breaking my hands over and over again. As well as the assaults.” Nate’s eyes met his, they were detached, almost like Mor’s from all those years ago. “I released Baylor so I could kill Kier. When I looked back, Baylor was gone.” Nate’s breath was thready at best. “It took me over an hour to find him. I found him in front of Blake’s rooms covered in blood and he was in shock. So I went to get you.”

“You do know I can’t keep this from your father. I can’t, not something like this.”

Nate sank into the couch beside Bay. Bay leaned against him, both of them getting blood on Blake’s couch. If he knew anything, Blake hated getting his things ruined, but he wouldn’t care, not if this was the reason for it.

Cassian rubbed his face, restraining from breaking everything in the room. He knew Bay had his own problems with being touched. He barely touched anyone growing up, hated hugging people. But he let Nate near him. Cassian was glad Bay let someone in.

Cassian lowered to his haunches again, meeting Baylor’s eyes. “What you did, you did to protect. It was not cold blooded or undeserved. They hurt someone you loved and you hurt them back.” Bay blinked at him, it was a response. “You will still grief the lives you took. But you will be able to move on and be okay again.” Bay narrowly nodded. Good. “As for the other bit you learned, he is not your father. You are not your father. You are my son, Nesta’s son, Montse’s son. You are Aysel’s brother. He owns nothing that is who you are. You were loved by her and you deserved that love. You were innocent and that was what she saw. She did not see what happened to her, she saw someone who was innocent and deserved her love.”

He looked to Nate. He knew Nate kept his abuse from his parents. He had the feeling it was for more than just wanting to be the one to kill Keir. He didn’t want anyone to know he had been hurt, didn’t want his parents to feel any ounce of guilt; he didn’t want anyone to think he was helpless. And now Nate had voiced what happened, made it real. 

“You are not what happened to you. You are strong, loving. You are still warm to those you love.” He was every inch Mor’s son. “No one will think less of you.” Nate’s eyes slid to his, it was a reaction. “Your parents deserve to know what happened, so they can help you and support you.” Nate leaned against Bay. “You didn’t deserve what happened to you. You will be okay, I promise.” He stood. “You both will be.” He looked between them, “Why don’t you go home and take a bath or shower. Help each other. I’ll deal with Az and Mor.”

————–

Azriel found Cassian waiting for him. Mor was with him. “What’s going on?”

Mor took his hand, “I’m not sure, Cassian was waiting for you to come back.”

His eyes slid to Cassian, “I’m back, what is it?”

“It’s about Nate.”

Mor snapped her head at Cassian. “You know what’s wrong.”

Cassian nodded. “I’ll tell you what he told me, but do not bombard him with questions. We all know he won’t answer.”

“What is it,” Mor asked.

Cassian looked at Mor, “You saw him covered in blood.” His eyes slid to him, “I’m assuming by now you know Bay and Nate were with Keir.”

“Yes.”

“Nate…he’s been sexually assaulted. By a few people.” The world stopped, gone and cold and raw. His son, the artist, the one that laughed the most, he had been hurt and he didn’t even know. He was a shadowsinger, a Spy Master, and he didn’t even know that this violation had been done to his son. What kind of father was he? “And his bones have been broken, repeatedly.”

Mor covered her mouth, her eyes brimmed with tears. “No,” she whispered.

“Bay killed all of females that hurt him.” Good, Good that Bay helped Nate. “None of them are left. Bay ended up in a shocked state, leaving Nate to find me. He told me what happened.”

World ending anger shone in his wife’s eyes, Nate’s eyes. “No.”

Ice filled his veins, ready to shatter his heart. “He didn’t tell me.”

Mor swallowed, “He didn’t tell either of us.”

Cassian sighed, “You know why he didn’t.” Nate would want to keep the guilt and blame from him and Mor, to not let them feel like they failed him in some way. He was laughter and light and a creator, he wouldn’t want anyone to know he had touched that darkness. That he had been hurt in the worst way possible.

“Where is he,” Mor growled. “Where is my son?”

“He’s either on his way back here or he’s already here. You should leave them be, they are getting themselves cleaned up.”

“He is my son, I am not leaving him alone again.”

“Bay is my son too, Mor. Trust me, if you try to smother him, he will retreat.”

“That’s Bay, that’s not Nate.”

“Nate is with Bay. You try to invade on them right now, they will both get territorial and things will get worse.” All the adults had put in a bet, to see if they were mates. No one bet against it.

Tears slid down Mor’s cheeks, Azriel put his arms around her, his hand rubbing her back. “You need to relax,” he murmured. “You are pregnant.” Her blood pressure could rise and harm the baby.

“Our son,” She cried. “He’s been hurt and we didn’t know.”

He hugged her tighter, “I know.”

————

Nate washed Baylor’s arms, the water below them was stained red. Baylor met his eyes. “You didn’t tell me. Why?” There was no anger in his words, no accusations. Just curiosity. Nate rinsed the cloth before answering.

“Same reason you didn’t tell me yours.”

“I’ll tell you,” baylor said. “I know yours. You can know mine.”

Nate met his eyes again, “You don’t have to tell me, not if you don’t want to.”

Baylor’s eyes were unguarded. “When my mother died, a male found me. He took me to the camps. It took two weeks getting there. He was cruel, unkind. He hit me. A lot. To get me to stop crying.”

Nate paused. Baylor continued. “When I got to Cassian’s camps, I was the smallest, I had no friends, no family, nothing. I didn’t know how to fight. It was just me and my mother, when she was alive. She wasn’t trained either. I got to Cassian’s camp and was held down and beaten over and over, my clothes taken, left for dead. I barely survived the two years before Ash found me.” Nate paused. Baylor was held down. He had emphasized it when he was yelling at him before, that he and Cassian had held him down. Something inside him broke. “That’s the reason I don’t like being touched.”

“I’m so sorry,” Nate whispered, his throat was thick. “I-”

Baylor touched his face, forcing him to meet his eyes, “You didn’t know. It’s okay.”

“That doesn’t make it any better,” Nate said.

“No,” Baylor agreed. “It doesn’t. But…I understand why you did what you thought you had to. To get me to sleep.”

“I didn’t know what to do.”

——–

Bay looked at Nate. Keir broke both of them. Nate had been hurt, his own father was a monster. Kier got what he wanted. At least he was dead, as were the females that touched Nate. His knuckles were still raw. His own anger terrified the hell at him. Did he also get that from his father?

Bay rinsed the rag, cleaning the blood from Nate’s face. His warm brown eyes were dulled down. Blood splattered on his face, in his hair. “You aren’t the Mother, Nate. You aren’t expected to be perfect.”

Nate looked at him, “I won’t do it again. I won’t have Ash do that again. I’ll just stay up with you until you sleep.” He knew Nate meant it, but he was prone to insomnia and didn’t want Nate to miss out on the ability to sleep.

Bay washed Nate’s arm, “I don’t expect you to do that.”

“I love you, I’ll do it. I want to do it.”

“I know you do, doesn’t mean I expect you to forgo your own sleep when I can’t.”

Nate gave him a stern look. “Baylor.”

He returned it. “Nathaniel.”

Nate’s lip quirked up. “Arguing with me won’t work.”

Bay rose his brows, cleaning the last bit of blood from Nate. “Who’s arguing? I thought we were discussing why I am right and you are wrong.” He filled the picture and poured it over Nate’s head, his dark hair falling over his eyes. His fingers lathered the soap and washed. “You remember when we first met?”

Nate’s almost smile came back. “Yes. You were having a meltdown in the library because you couldn’t read the book.” No, he was in the library because he was trying to hide from Nesta and Cassian after accidentally breaking a vase.

He poured the water over Nate’s head again, pulling the soap from his hair. “The librarian was yelling at me and you diverted the attention by ripping a book.”

He brushed Nate’s hair back, careful of the ring in his lip and the ring in the cartilage in his ear. The warmth in Nate’s eyes were coming back. Good. “I was trying to help you but then it backfired and you started yelling at me.” Bay remembered. He couldn’t read and the letters were mixed around in his mind. It took a long time for him to catch up with Nate and the others. He and Nesta had sat for hours, relearning how to read.

Nate poured water over Bay’s head, pulling the blood from his hair. Soon Nate’s slender fingers started to lather soap into his hair. Bay’s lips twitched, “Nesta found us fighting in the stacks and dragged us down to the kitchens.”

Nate rinsed his hair. “I climbed the counters to get us some apples. Nesta started asking you if you liked reading, if that was why you ran to the library when you were trying to hide.”

Bay looked up at him as Nate brushed back Bay’s hair, the bristles in the brush lightly grazing his scalp. “I said I didn’t know, that I didn’t know how to read. But I said I liked books. And you groaned at me, wanting me to be an artist just like you.”

Nate handed him a plush towel. “Do you blame me? My brothers couldn’t draw a stick figure. If that. Ash was more interested in complaining about getting sisters.”

“You poor tortured artist,” Bay’s lips tugged upward as he dried off. “You’re stuck with me, who would rather read than draw.”

Nate slid a sweatshirt on, bunched up halfway up his forearms, then pants and his leather bracelets. They covered the ring of scars on his wrist. Bay had tied back Nate’s hair for him, so he didn’t have to look in the mirror and see Keir’s eyes looking back at him. Nate turned to him, “Yes, poor me. Considering you’re actually halfway decent at it. A bunch of wasted talent. Now I get to sketch my broody boyfriend who would rather read than put his talent to use.” Nate met his eyes. “Why the trip down memory lane?”

Bay pulled the new hooded sweatshirt carefully on, mindful of his wings. The sweatshirt was Nate’s. It was big and warm and soft. And smelled like Nate; apples and lavender. As far as he was concerned, he could just wear Nate’s hooded sweatshirts forever. There was something securing with each one. “You were the first person I wasn’t afraid of.”

Nate brushed Bay’s scabbed knuckles with his thumb. “I love you.”

Bay looked up at him. “I love you too.”

————-

Mor sat on Bay’s bed. She heard the two in the bathroom, heard the water dripping on the floor, their hushed tones. Her heart hurt, so much. Her son, she didn’t want this for him. Didn’t want him to have any kind of similar life she had. But he did, and worse, she didn’t know about it. Her son had been hurt and she didn’t do anything about it.

Bay and Nate came out of the bathroom. Both boys were in Nate’s hooded sweatshirts and wet hair, nate wore his usual leather bracelets. The sweatshirt went down to Bay’s thighs, a few sizes too big, almost dwarfing him.

They both froze in place. Bay was close to bolting, Nate close to shutting down. She slowly stood, her hand on her stomach. “Bay, can I talk to Nate alone?”

“No,” Nate said. “He stays.” Bay was inches from him, his hands tightly twisted in the pockets of his sweatshirt. She knew it would take an army keeping them from each other.

“Okay,” she agreed.

“Cassian told you,” Nate said. His eyes were carefully guarded, his voice low.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me,” she said softly. “We should have killed Keir a long time ago. Before Blake was born. None of this would have happened to you.”

Nate’s thumb brushed her cheek, wiping a tear that must have fallen. “You don’t know that. I knew it was dangerous for Illyrians being openly gay, and with our bloodline..” He gave her a wry smile. “Even you don’t know all of the future.”

She squeezed his hand before turning to Bay. The male always looked ready to run, but he stood solid next to Nate, she smiled at him. “Thank you for what you did for my Pumkin.”

Bay blinked. “You’re what?”

Nate groaned, “Eight years Mother. Eight. He didn’t know about that particular name. All down the drain. Thank you, so much.”

Bay smiled truly, it was a rare and brief smile. “Nate? I have a question.”

Nate rolled his head to Bay, “I’m going to regret answering this, but yes?”

“Are you personally offended when pumpkins get carved during the Fall Harvest?”

Nate sighed before turning to him. “You’re going to eat those words.”

Bay rose his brows before he looked at her. “I would do it again. No one is touching him again. Not if I can help it.”

Cassian had told her how shell shocked Bay had been after killing those females, and the fact that he would do it all over again, she knew Nate would be safe with him. He may have a temper, but Bay would do everything to help Nate. Where she and Az failed, he would protect her son. “Thank you, Bay.”

He inclined his head, “Of course.”

————-

*later that night*

“Ash,” a voice whispered. “Wake up.” Ash sat up, throwing his pillow towards the voice. “Missed me.”

He groaned. He knew that voice. He palmed his eyes, “What do you want Nate?” He looked up into the darkness. “Does Bay need help to sleep?” He was finally fully healed. It wouldn’t take much to knock Bay out.

“No, we need to talk.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“I know we said we would do whatever it took to get Bay asleep, but, I’ve learned some things. We are never doing that again.”

“What you don’t want him to sleep?”

“Of course I do. But never lay a hand on him again, okay? That is the only warning you will get on the matter. Do not touch Bay without his permission. He may threaten, but I will act. Do not touch him.”

Ash held up his hands, “Woah, woah. What did you learn?”

“Baylor has been held down and beaten near death, Ash.” Realization sat like lead in his stomach. Bay threatening to break his hands, he didn’t like being touched. He didn’t realize it was because something happened to him, he thought it was because he was grumpy all the time. “We are never doing this again. You touch him without his permission, I will end you.”

And he was gone.

——–

 

Feyre curled into Rhys’s side. Their children slept; Keir was dead, the traitors found and executed. For now, their children were safe, resting in their cribs. Nate and Bay were healing, Mor was due in a few months, Elain in five. The only problem on the horizon, for now, was for Blake, Aurora, Ash and Adrien and his wings. But they would all live, they would all grow and be feared and respected. But more, Feyre knew, her children and family, they would all be loved.

Rhys looked at her, his violet eyes bright. “I never would have thought I would see the day where I could be happy with a mate and children, with a family other than the one I built with the inner circle. You gave that to me. I was right.”

She smiled, “About?”

“You were my salvation.”


	44. Chapter 44

Days like this, it was an inconvenience being a Shadowsinger; picking up his mother’s guilt and sorrow or his father’s cold fury. It was smothering and he wanted out. 

Nate slid the window open, the cool wind against his skin. His hair fell into his eyes and he bit back a groan. He pulled one of his bracelets from his wrist and pulled his hair back. With a foot to the sill, Nate pushed off and flew into the sky.

———

A soft knock vibrated on Bay’s door, sounding throughout his room. He uncurled from the couch and sat his book down before answering it. Nate stood in front of him, his hair and clothes wet from the rain. His wings were gone, but they were always gone. What stopped him was Nate’s face. His eyes were too bright, his lips too tight.

Nate’s voice was choked. “Baylor-”

He pushed his door back, letting Nate into the room. Nate’s nails dug into the back of his neck and he sat on the couch, across from where Bay was sitting, his knees pulled up to his chest.

Bay closed his door, before returning to his seat. He tilted his head at nate. “”Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

He nodded. “You need dry clothes.”

Nate looked at him, “How do you deal with this all the time?”

He slowly sat back down, meeting his detached stare. “With what?”

“Just.. everything.” Nate had voiced what happened to him. Made what happened real. Now he couldn’t take back the words. Now his parents were worried about him, soon his brothers would know too. And everyone else. “It’s too much. I can’t breathe.”

“One day at a time,” he answered honestly, “And if that’s too much, a minute at a time.” He paused, thinking. “And spite.” Nate’s gaze turned questioning. He clarified, “I won’t let my illness win. So I stay alive just to piss off the Mother.” He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of watching him break beyond use.

Nate’s lips twitched, “Yeah, that sounds right. It just wouldn’t be you unless you were trying to piss someone off.”

Bay leaned back, his arm resting on back of the couch. “Nate, do your parents know you’re here?”

“No.” he paused. “Well, probably by now they do.”

“You want me to keep them away for a while?” Nate shrugged. Bay pushed, “And your brothers?” He shrugged again. “They won’t get past my bedroom door. I promise.” His room was keyed to his and Cassian’s bloods. No one got in unless either of them allowed it. And he only allowed Nate.

“Okay.”

“You said you wanted some alone time, that was why I came home. I’ll let you stay in my room, I’ll go somewhere else for a while.”

Nate blinked. “It’s your room.”

He gave him a humorless smile. “I ruined your sweatshirt, Nathaniel. I think it’ll be fine if I lent you my room for a while.”

“But-”

He held up a hand, cutting him off. “Get some dry clothes on and we’ll consider it even. Yes?” Nate nodded. Bay continued, assessing Nate’s detached stare. “You didn’t let me break, I’m not going to let you break. If I step out of my room, can you promise me you’ll be okay by yourself?’

“Yes.”

“Is that the truth?”

He closed his eyes, curling further into the couch; his voice little more than a sigh. “Yes, Baylor. That’s the truth. I just want to sleep.”

He got up, pulling Nate’s spare clothes from his closet. A black sweatshirt and sweatpants. He crouched in front of Nate, “Come on, change. And then you can.”

It took Nate a few seconds before he started pulling the damp clothing from his body. Bay examined the flash of a tattoo on the inside of his bicep; A hummingbird.

After Nate changed, Bay grabbed his book and sat out in the hallway.

——-

Cold clanged through Adrien’s veins as his shadows picked up his parent’s discussion about Nate. He got up from his bed, pulling his shirt on. His wings still ached, but it was tolerable. The therapy with Cassian, it was working.

Maze turned on her side, looking up at him. The sleepiness in her eyes sharpened to an intensity when she met his gaze. She sat up, holding the blanket in place. “Baby, what’s wrong?” He told her; he knew it wouldn’t go past her lips. “Oh no. Adrien-”

“I need to talk to him, Maze. He’s my little brother. I should have kept him safe.” His chest hollowed out. “I should have protected him.”

She studied him. “Adrien-.”

“He is seventeen years old, Maze. Seventeen.” Keir broke his wrist when he was fourteen. His father thought it ended when he was sixteen, when he was strong enough to fight back. He remembered the day he found Nate with a hollowed out look, when he just stared at his sketchbook. He had drilled him for answers, who he killed. What happened. Nate didn’t answer, he just walked away from him. He should have pushed.“I failed my brother. I cannot fail again. He needs me.”

————–

“Bay.”

He looked up. Adrien was walking down the hall, his face hard and unyielding. He put his book aside and stood, blocking Adrien’s path. “You need to leave.”

“I want to see my brother.”

Bay stood his ground, staring up at Adrien, his hands in his pockets. “I don’t care what you want. Leave. This isn’t the Night Court. This is Hybern. If I want you out, you will get out.” His words sounded more callous than he meant, but he promised Nate no one would bother him.

Adrien grabbed Bay by his shirt and slammed him back against the wall, hard enough Bay felt his shoulder crack. “Just because you are fucking my brother doesn’t mean you can keep him from me.”

Bay’s hands tightened in his pockets. The amount of restraint it took to not break Adrien’s hands was tremendous. “Leave, Adrien. Or I’ll have you thrown out.”

Adrien snarled at him, his fingers gripping Bay’s sweatshirt even further. “You don’t deserve him. You’re going to drag him down to your level of self pity and ruin him. Then he’ll be just as miserable as you are.” His words struck deep and true. He was right. “You will break my brother.” Break. He would break Nate. No.

“Are you sure,” Bay made himself say, “That you aren’t talking about you and Maze?” He cocked his head. “How’s that going by the way? She still putting up with your ‘poor me’ bullshit?” Adrien’s eyes widened, such world ending wrath filled them as he pulled his fist back.

—————

Nate opened the bedroom door to find Adrien’s fist connecting with Baylor’s face. In that moment, such a loud snap filled his ears that he stumbled back, hitting the door frame. He knew what the snap meant, knew it deep in his bones and heart. Nate pulled Adrien off his mate and punched him.

“Get the fuck off him,” he snarled.

Bay leaned over, his palms on his knees, and spat out blood. Looking up at him, Baylor’s cheek was swollen, bleeding steadily. He turned to Adrien, “Well, you got me. What was so important that you had to come all the way here?” Adrien’s face fell, despite the blood coming from his nose and cheek. “No, do not look at me like that. I don’t want your pity. It’s over. Keir is dead and it’s all done with. Okay?”

“Nate,” Adrien swallowed. “I should have protected you.”

“Get out, leave. I don’t need you to protect me, Ade.”

He was fighting every instinct to level his brother; for him putting his hands on Baylor. To get to him. To get to him, Adrien was willing to hurt his mate. “Go.”

Adrien shook his head, as if trying to clear it.

“Leave,” Nate bit out. “before I break you.”

————–

‘You will break my brother- you will break my brother- you will break my brother-

Bay tried shutting down Adrien’s words, but he couldn’t. The harder he shoved them down, the louder they were in his ears. Bay say cross legged on his bed, waiting for Nate to come back in his room. When Nate finally came in, his eyes were wide, and on him. He started shaking his head. “Baylor-”

Bay held up a hand, “Nate, I think-”

“No. I heard what he said to you. He’s wrong.”

“No he isn’t.”

“Baylor, my brother-”

“Nate-.”

“No,” Nate got out, his hands on Bay’s shoulders. “You’re mine.”

Bay brushed him off, “And I will always be yours. But, I can’t make you like me. I can’t do that to you. I love you too much for that.”

“No,” Nate whispered, tears slid down Nate’s cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Nate,” Bay choked out. “I’m so sorry. But I won’t-”

“You promised to not let me break.”

“And I’m keeping that promise.” He inhaled, forcing himself to meet Nate’s eyes. “Stay here however long you like. It’s spelled to let you in and out.”

“Baylor-”

He left.

—————-

“Mazakynn.”

Her entire body seized up at the sound of her father’s voice. She had been expecting this. Her father, confronting her after the Blood Rite, after Cyrian killed her brother. It didn’t stop her from seizing in terror at the sight of him.

He stood over her, his eyes pinning her in place. Gripping her chin, his face hardened. “You survived.”

“Yes,” She bit out. “I did.”

His eyes went to the scar at her cheek. “You almost didn’t, it would seem.”

“But I did and I got one of the highest rankings.”

She heard the crack before she felt it. She staggered back from her father, her hand on her cheek. She tasted blood in her mouth.

He descended on her, “You disobeyed me.”

Her back hit the side of the barrack. “Father-”

“I am not your father,” his hand was around her throat. “You let that child kill my heir. Did you think that by having Malyus killed it would permit you that position? You? A disobedient female who should have had her wings clipped to begin with?”

“No,” she choked out. “He deserved it. He deserved it, Father.”

He stepped forward just for Adrien to grab her father by the collar and shoving him against the wall. Adrien’s hand was around her father’s throat.

She started to cough, filling her lungs with air.

Adrien didn’t look at her, his eyes were on her father, “You okay, Maze?”

“Yeah,” She croaked.

——

Rage flooded through him, cementing itself in his veins. He had just gotten back from Hybern and needed to drain the anger in his body. Bay didn’t let him near his brother, his brother dismissed him as if he were a stranger. 

He had a sinking feeling he did something to Bay. When he got angry like that, he didn’t have control over his mouth. And what he said..

Adrien gripped Dominic’s throat. “I warned you. I said I would kill you if you touched your daughter again.”

But he knew he wasn’t in full health, couldn’t take care of Dominic himself and there was one other person who would care as much as he did about Maze. As much as he hated it, he said, “Get Cyrian.”

—————


	45. Chapter 45

Maze gasped for breath as she ran up the steps, nearly stumbling a few times. She gripped the railing and ran faster, pushing herself harder. Her neck had already began to bruise and she stumbled into Cyrian’s room, her momentum carrying her forward. 

Cyrian growled, his pen snapping in his fingers. “What part of don’t ask for my help ever again don’t you people understand?” Cyrian didn’t even look up, but Maze could tell by how his back stiffened, he knew it was her. 

Cyrian slowly stood up, turning to face her. Maze stopped a few feet away from him, breathing hard. Cyrian’s eyes narrowed and he pulled her forward, gripping her chin and turning her face to the side. He growled, cupping her chin and pulling her face up, his eyes narrowing even further. “I’ll kill him. Slowly. Slower than I killed his poor excuse for a son” 

“I want him dead,” Maze nodded. Cyrian paused for a moment, some emotion clouding his eyes. He pulled away, looking like he wanted to pace. Maze knew exactly what was running through his mind, which is why she didn’t flinch at his next words. 

“Your mother, Mazakynn.”

“I want him dead,” Maze snarled. 

“Consider it done” Cyrian grabbed her shoulders and spun her around and they both headed down the stairs, Cyrian’s bedroom door slamming behind them.  
—————-  
Maze followed Cyrian into his mother’s office and crossed her arms over her chest. Cyrian stalked towards his mother, pressing his hands on her desk. Atropine slowly looked up, her pointed ears twitching, before she gave a sly smile. 

“Hello, Mazakynn,” Atropine’s eyes connected with hers and Maze shuddered, looking down. 

“Eyes here, mother” Cyrian said, blocking her view of Maze. Cyrian leaned forward and pressed his brow against hers, before sighing. “Dominic is dead” 

“Is he already dead? Or is he as good as dead?” Atropine asked, without missing a beat. She thrummed her fingers on her desk tilting her head to the side, but Maze noticed she was sitting a little straighter. Maze swallowed, watching the two interact. 

“Does it make a difference?” Cyrian asked. Atropine flicked her hand and Cyrian froze, gripping the edge of the table. Maze couldn’t see what was happening, but she started forward, until Cyrian put his hand out to stop her. “He’s as good as dead” Cyrian amended. 

“Why tell me?” His mother hummed, raising her eyebrows. She grinned slowly, pulling Cyrian closer. Maze growled, but Cyrian waved her off again, more impatient this time. 

“What will it take for you to protect Maze against Demeytria? Tell me” Cyrian whispered. Maze flinched at her mother’s name, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Atropine. 

Atropine let Cyrian go, giving a slight shove. Cyrian stumbled back and Maze saw red marks on his neck. She knew they were from his mother’s nails. Maze clenched her hands by her sides, watching Atropine. 

“Seven” Atropine said, pulling out a cloth to wipe off her nails. A frown pulled at her lips before she said something in a language Maze didn’t understand. The words were like a physical blow to Cyrian and he backed away slowly, almost crushing Maze against the wall. 

“Five” Cyrian said tightly. His eyes had gone slightly wide, his breathing seemingly ceased. Atropine frowned even more. 

“Seven or get out and leave Maze to her mother” Atropine snapped. 

Cyrian nodded and he grabbed Maze’s wrist. His fingers were shaking. “Let’s go” He said, before pulling her out of the room. Maze kept up with him, walking by his side. She looked to her left, watching Cyrian. She put her hand out, bracing it against his chest. 

“What did you give to her? Seven of what, Cyrian? What did she say” Maze whispered. Her nails dug into his shirt. Cyrian gripped her wrist and tugged it away. 

“Unimportant”

“With your mother it’s always important” 

Cyrian ignored her as the two walked through the Hewn City, stomping through the Night Court. Cyrian didn’t look anyone in the eye and he kept his distance from Maze. Maze bristled and she followed him, lifting off into the sky with him towards the barracks.  
———–

Adrien sensed Maze as she landed. He threw Dominic against the wall, cutting him a glance, before he turned to the barracks doors. Cyrian walked in, his face holding no emotion. When he saw Adrien, he gave him a cruel smile, which Adrien ignored. 

Adrien went over to Maze, brushing her hair behind her ears. “You don’t have to watch” He pressed his chin over her head, and Maze buried her face in his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. Adrien looped his arms over her shoulders. 

“I’m staying. Make him hurt” Maze pushed Adrien back gently and she blocked the door, looking down at her father. Dominic Batalis had pulled himself to his feet and Maze thought her father to be absolutely mad to spit at Cyrian’s feet.   
Cyrian looked down at the small puddle of blood an inch from the toes of his boots. He rubbed the base of his neck, looking back up. And he laughed. Then faster than Maze could track, Cyrian slammed her father hard enough against the wall for it to crack. 

“Did you tell him to kill her?” Cyrian asked, his fingers tightening against Dominic’s throat. Maze blinked. Cyrian hadn’t mentioned Tania since the Blood Rite. “I’ve been thinking about it, forced to think about it. I don’t get the game you’re playing, Dominic, but I’ll be glad to kill you before you can finish it” 

Dominic smiled, his hands wrestling against Cyrian’s hold on his neck. Cyrian squeezed harder, forcing her father to choke. “Do you know what it felt like? Feeling that bond snap, knowing she was dead? Your son’s death didn’t satisfy my rage, Dominic, and I fear yours won’t either” 

Cyrian pulled her father back and slammed him into the wall again, his eyes growing dark. “Maybe I’ll kill Demeytria and keep you alive so you feel my pain. When you finally die you’ll know Maze won” 

“You wouldn’t start that war” Dominic wheezed. Cyrian narrowed his eyes. 

“Try me” 

Cyrian let Dominic go and he stepped back, ducking as his father took a swing at him. Cyrian spun around, slamming his foot into Dominic’s back, sending him slamming against the other wall. The barracks shook. 

Dominic spat on the floor again and he laughed, gripping the wall. “Are you broken yet, Atropine’s son?”

“I don’t break” Cyrian said. Maze stepped in between her father and Cyrian, keeping her hand out to stop Adrien. Cyrian glared down at her and Maze almost stepped back from the darkness in his eyes. But then Cyrian eased back and Maze let out a breath.  
————  
Adrien grabbed her father’s arms, pulling up a chair and slamming him into it. Adrien held her father’s arms behind his back as Cyrian leaned against the wall. Maze watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists, barely holding back his rage.

“You had Malyus kill her” Maze breathed. Cyrian clenched his fists harder, watching as Adrien secured her father to the chair. Cyrian slammed his fists against the wall making the barracks shake once again. Then something settled over his face and a serene look was all that was left. 

“I hate Nightmare politics” Was all Cyrian said as he stepped forward. He knelt before Dominic, gripping his chin gently. Maze flinched as a crunch filled the room, her father’s jaw breaking in Cyrian’s grasp. 

Her father’s face contorted in pain the best way he could and Cyrian pulled his mouth open slowly. He looked over Dominic’s shoulders, his eyes connecting with Adrien. “Can you break his wings? Tell me right now if you’re going to throw up and you can leave” 

Adrien’s face paled for a moment, but he shook his head, his hands tightening on Dominic’s forearms. “Who’s Demeytria? And why did Malyus kill Tania?” Cyrian’s eyes flashed and Maze gave Adrien a pointed look. 

Cyrian either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He gripped Dominic’s knees, snapping them in different directions. Maze was glad those were her father’s knees and not Adrien’s. “Don’t ask again. Now press your first two fingers into the middle of his back and step back. Quickly” 

Adrien did as he was told, narrowly dodging as Dominic cried out, his wings flexing against his back. “Grab his haunches. Pull down, then snap up. If I don’t see your muscles straining, I’ll rip off your wings. Got it?” Cyrian narrowed his eyes and he pushed Dominic’s face back, covering his mouth, probably wanting him to choke on his blood. 

He watched Adrien as his hand wrapped around the haunches of the Illyrian’s wings. “Pull yourself together” Cyrian deadpanned. Cyrian slid a thin blade from his fighting leathers, running the sharp edge down Dominic’s cheek.   
Adrien’s fingers curled tightly around them and he looked at Cyrian. 

“Is this what your twisted mother taught you?”

“Do you want to find out?” Cyrian snapped back. Their eyes bore into each other and Adrien growled, pulling down, and snapping up as hard as he could. Dominic’s strangled scream of pain filled the air, the barracks shaking harder. “Again” Cyrian said. He pressed his hand harder against the camp lord’s mouth.

Maze stepped behind Adrien, wrapping her arms around his waist. Adrien leaned into her touch then looked down. He clenched his jaw and pulled down, before snapping up. He saw as the haunches broke in half and Dominic’s wings fell from his back. Adrien staggered back and Maze kept him upright, leaning him against the wall. 

Cyrian pulled away, pushing Dominic’s head to the side. He looked down at her father, before slipping his blade into his leathers once more. “Send the talons as a thank you gift to my room” Cyrian wiped his hands on Dominic’s shirt. 

“Why did you make him do that?” Maze finally spoke up. A cold sweat had formed at the back of Adrien’s neck, his shirt already soaked. He was a sickly pale and Maze glared at Cyrian. 

“Now he knows his wings aren’t broken. That,” Cyrian said, pointing to Dominic’s wings on the ground. “is broken. Adrien is scarred. And scars heal. You’re welcome, by the way. I just single handedly cancelled your boyfriend’s pity party” 

Adrien gasped, collapsing to the ground. 

“You should comfort him, maybe” Cyrian shrugged. Maze growled and kneeled down in front him, wrapping her arms around his body as Adrien buried his face in her neck. 

“What are you, Cy? Broken or scarred?” Maze asked looking at Cyrian. He froze in the doorway and turned back around shrugging slowly. 

“He’ll wake up in a few hours. Use small blades, don’t puncture anything major, make his fast healing his greatest enemy. Don’t do what you can’t stomach. And I wasn’t joking about that thank you gift” And with that he was gone.  
———–  
Adrien’s head was rested in Maze’s lap and he closed his eyes, letting her fingers work through his hair. He shuddered, gripping onto her thighs tightly. 

“Breathe” Maze whispered, watching her father’s limp form, before she looked back down at Adrien. 

“You heard him, right?” Maze ventured carefully. “You’re not broken, Adrien. I love you. I love you with or without your wings. Without or without your pain. But you’re not broken. Ezekiel lost. He lost and you won” 

Adrien swallowed gently, but said nothing. He continued to grip Maze’s thighs, resting his head in her lap. Maze rubbed his shoulders, leaning down to slowly wrap her wings around the two of them, careful of Adrien’s wings. 

Mine. That voice shuddered through her body. 

Maze pressed her lips to Adrien’s forehead, comforting him as best as she could. She nuzzled her nose against his and Adrien lifted his head, leaning into her warming touch. She held him tighter to her, not wanting to let him go.   
Yes. He was hers. But she would let him heal first. However long it took.  
—————-

Cyrian stood behind Atropine, his head bowed slightly. His fingers twitched behind his back and he tried to slow his breathing before looking up. His father smiled at him, placing his hand on Cyrian’s shoulder. “Cyrian…”

Atropine smacked his hand off and Devlon scowled, glaring at his wife. 

Atropine gave him a cool glance, raising her eyebrows. Cyrian took a deep breath and he slipped past both of them, leaving them to their non-verbal verbal sparring. 

His breathing staggered as he walked down the familiar steps and he froze, staring at the cell. Even after nineteen years the sight still made Cyrian go weak at the knees. Cyrian leaned against the wall letting the cool stone soothe him. He hadn’t thought his mother was capable of this. 

Capable of giving him back to his father. Cyrian squeezed his eyes shut refusing to let tears fall. 

His mother’s hand was immediately at his back. “Don’t make me do this, Cyrian” She whispered against his ear, speaking the language his father hadn’t bothered to learn. Cyrian shuddered, gripping the wall “Tell me she isn’t worth it. Let Demeytria have her daughter. Don’t make me give you to him” Atropine brushed Cyrian’s hair away from his ear, but Cyrian scowled, shaking his head. 

“I’ll see you in seven weeks, mother,” Cyrian stepped forward, opening the cell doors. He slipped inside and pressed his back against the wall, pulling his knees into his chest. The cell was barely large enough for him when he was six. Now? Everything was pressing in on him, even the darkness. 

Atropine turned to Devlon and they sparred once more. Devlon broke first. She gripped Devlon’s chin and Devlon scowled, but didn’t stop her. “Hurt my son and I’ll kill you, Devlon” Atropine hissed, before pushing his face aside and walking back up the stairs. 

“Don’t do this, mama” Cyrian whispered, the Spanish barely making it past his lips. “Please” Either Atropine hadn’t heard him or she ignored him.   
Cyrian closed his eyes as his father left and he took a slow breath. The darkness pressed in on him from all sides. And now matter how strong he was, how unbreakable he was, Cyrian was forced to his knees. 

He retched after the first thirty seconds, gripping at the ground, bile coming out his mouth. His back shuddered, the darkness so thick it choked him. Cyrian coughed and he fell to his side, willing himself to sleep. Willing himself not to see the monsters in the dark. Willing himself not to break. 

Tears blinded him. 

Cyrian broke.


	46. Chapter 46

The gold and red leaves hung limp on their branches, the rain not quite dulling down the beauty of the Autumn Court. By the time Bay got here, his entore body was drenched, his hair hung over his eyes, cutting breaks of blonde in his vision. Taking a breath, a made his way for the front doors, just to be stopped by Lucien, Heti and Dragos.

The High Lord stared down at him with a hot temper. Lucien crossed his arms and gave Bay a humorless smile. “Here to take my son off to the Court of Nightmares again?”

It took everything to not flinch back from Heti and Dragos’ stares. Bay tightened his hands in his- Nate’s- hooded sweatshirt and kept himself from running. Dragos pinned his eyes on Bay and grinned. As did Heti. Bay looked to Lucien and shook his head, “I didn’t know he was in the Court until after the fact. I swear.”

“You put my son at risk,” he said.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Heti asked.

“I am.” Bay got out. “I didn’t want Ash there. You have to believe me.”

Lucien’s metal eye whirled and pinned Bay in his spot.. “You know who took him then, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t suppose you would tell us?” Heti asked.

He burrowed his hands deeper into his pockets. “No.”

Lucien crossed his arms and stared him down before sighing.“These Archerons’ are going to be the death of me. The entire bloody Inner Circle is going to kill me before I reach five hundred, I swear.” Drakon snorted.

“Can I see Ash?” Bay asked quietly.

The harshness of Lucien’s face softened. “Are you alright?”

“No.”

They blinked at the honesty of Bay’s admission. Bay supposed neither of them had expected an honest answer out of him.

“He’s with Aurora in the study. Make yourself at home, Bay.”

Bay inclined his head, “Thank you.”

————-

He had been on lockdown ever since he returned from Velaris. His father was livid he had been in the Court of Nightmares; not once, but twice. Ash had gotten lectured, asking for details and he didn’t give them. Instead he had crossed his arms and listened to his father rage on about Archeron females. He had been spending his time needling Aurora since Bay was with Nate.

Ash put his feet up on the desk, and grinned at Aurora. “Oh come on, you did too have sex.”

Aurora’s pulse elevated; he could feel her glaring at him. Aurora’s voice was strained, as if dealing with a petulant child. “Shut up, Ash.”

He put his own hands behind his head and grinned wider, “See? You’re in a better mood already.” He teased, “You’re even using my name. I told you getting laid would make you happier.”

She sighed, “I hate you, you know that?”

He shrugged, “The feeling’s mutual, Babe.”

He supposed in another life, they would be friends. Maybe after her father was dealt with, and the marriage alliance up in flames, they could be friends. Ash supposed only time would tell.

He heard another heartbeat coming closer, but it past the study doors and went down the hall. The only rooms down the hall were his and he could smell Bay from where he was, and could sense the damage to his brother’s face. The only rooms down the hall was his. Aurora’s attention snapped onto him, he could feel the questioning look to her face.

“What is it?” She asked.

He furrowed his brows, “I don’t know.”

She snorted, “Shocker.”’

He ignored her and got to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”

—-

Bay pulled off Nate’s sweatshirt and laid it over the back of the chair before getting into Ash’s bed and pulled a pillow over his head. It smelled like Ash, nothing like Nate. It was tilled earth and citrus, not apples and lavender.

“You know,” A voice, Ash, drawled. “It’s impolite to steal one’s bedroom without first letting them know they’re stealing it.”

Bay ignored him and closed his eyes, his throat was so thick he didn’t trust himself to speak. Nate’s shocked face imprinted on the underside of his eyelids and Adrien’s words sounded in his ears. You will break my brother.

“Bay,” Ash said softly. “What happened?”

He faced the wall and shut out Ash. He needed quiet and dark before he completely lost it. He was vaguely aware of the glowing of his siphons and the fact he was close to breaking everything in the room.

“Bay-”

He felt the other side of the bed dip and Ash laid next to him. He turned to face him and lifted the pillow to look at him. Ash had crossed his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. One of Ash’s eyes opened and looked in his direction.

“Nope, not leaving.”

——————

Nate stormed through the rain, his shadows told him exactly where to find his brother. He found Adrien, with his forehead touching Maze’s, the two whispering about something. It was Maze who saw him first. He didn’t see any pity in her gaze, but he did see alarm. “Nate-”

He cut her a glance, “No offense, Maze, but I’m not here for you.”

Adrien looked up just in time for Nate to slam him against the wall, his hand around his brother’s throat. Nate barely registered the blood getting washed away from Adrien by the pelting rain. His brother stared at him with wide hazel eyes, his shadows twisting around him. He looked just like their father, Nate realized.

“You,” Nate snarled, “Are so lucky we are related.”

He refrained from punching Adrien, knowing if he started, there was a good chance he wouldn’t stop. Adrien was his brother, and he wasn’t up at the level he used to be in training. He had spent too much time pitying himself. If they were to fight, Nate would win.

“Nate,” Maze started towards them.

Adrien held up a hand, cutting her off. Adrien looked at her, the warning in his eyes stopped her in her tracks. “Maze, don’t.”

“What is going on,” Maze demanded.

“Baylor is mine, you arrogant fuck. I chose him. Over and over, i will choose him. Do you know why? Because he is my mate and you, my brother, broke him with your big mouth. I chose him in the Blood RIte and I will choose him every time. Just like Maze will always chose you over me.”

“Nathaniel!” A growl was low in Maze’s throat. “You need to calm down. Right now.”

“If anyone is breaking me,” Nate ignored her and gave Adrien a black stare. He released his throat, “it’s you.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien wheezed and coughed. “I’m so sorry.”

He backed up from Adrien until his back hit the opposite side of the barracks. The rush in his blood was making him see red. Maze stayed back from him, surveying Adrien for injury. She turned to Nate, “Tell me what happened, from the beginning.”

“I went to Hybern to get away from everyone. I couldn’t escape the pity and the emotions and I wanted out. So I went. Baylor let me into his room to get some fucking peace and he left me alone so I could sleep.” He looked at Adrien, “You tell her what happened next.”

Maze looked at Adrien, “What did you do, Adrien?”

His brother swallowed, “I wanted to see Nate. Bay wouldn’t let me into his room. I tried to get him to let me in. He said if I didn’t leave, he would have me thrown out. I snapped and slammed him against the wall.”

“Did he retaliate?” Maze asked.

Adrien looked down, “He kept his hands in his pockets and kept telling me to leave. And the I told him that he would bring Nate down to his level of self pity and break him.”

Maze gaped at Adrien, “You didn’t.”

“And then he asked me if i was talking about me and you and nate opened the door to me punching Bay in the face.”

Maze looked at Nate, “Is that when the bond snapped in place? When Adrien hurt him?”

Nate’s throat was so thick he could barely get it out. “Yes.”

“What happened next?” She asked.

“Adrien left and Baylor broke up with me and took off.”

The blood drained from Adrien’s face but he didn’t step forward. The amount of guilt on his brother’s face put a small amount of satisfaction in Nate.

“Okay,” Maze said. “Nate, you go spend time with Dacia and do whatever it is you two do and Adrien, you clean up. I will go talk to Bay.” She cut a glance at Nate, “Where is he?”

“With Ash.”

“Can you winnow me there?” She asked him.

“Yes,” Nate swallowed, “But one request.”

She smiled, “I won’t tell him.”

—————

Maze knocked on the Autumn Court doors. Soon a small head of red hair answered the door. With warm brown eyes, Adara looked up at her, “Maze!”

She smiled, “Can I talk to Ash and Bay? It’s important.”

Adara’s smile disappeared, “Dunno. Ash won't’ let anyone in his room. And I think Bay is sleeping.” She smiled, “You can play with me and Fia, though!”

“Maybe next time, Dee. Ash will let me in.” I’ll make him.

She sighed and opened the door wider, “Okay.”

Maze stepped through and headed down the halls towards Ash’s rooms. As she thought, Ash was already waiting for her, his hands behind his head and ankle’s crossed. But she didn’t miss the hard glint in his eyes.

“Hello, Mazakynn. How can I help you today?”

“You can help me by letting me see my best friend.”

He held up a finger and pointed at her, “First of all, Bay is my best friend, not-”

She grabbed him by his shirt, bringing him down to her face. “Let. Me. In.”

“No,” He bit out..

She rose her chin, “I’ll get Dacia.”

Ash’s face paled, “Stop using my sister against me, you bitch.”

She smiled at him, “I’ll stop when you grow a few brain cells.”

His eyes narrowed to slits, “I can make you leave, you know.”

His magic could stop her heart or light her on fire. She shuddered at the thought and rose her eyebrows, “You try and I’ll castrate you.”

He winced, “Fine, fine! But if you-”

She patted his cheek, “Unlike you Ash, I know how to deal with breakups.”

————

Maze found Bay on his stomach, a pillow over his head. She pulled his pillow from him and laid down beside him. He turned around and looked at her, “Go away, Maze.”

Bay’s eyes were rimmed red, but he hadn’t been crying. As far as she could tell, he was forcing himself to not. She smiled at him and brushed his hair from his eyes, “No.”

“Did Nate send you?”

“No. I came on my own.” She sighed. She needed to work up to Nate.“I hear you learned something new about your father?”

His eyes flashed, “Don’t.”

“Cyrian and Adrien just killed my father, you know.” He furrowed his brows. “We don’t get to choose who our parents are, Bay. But we can choose how they affect us.” He blinked. “Just because they are evil, that doesn’t make you evil. You are a dreamer. We are worth it, you and me.”

Bay was quiet for a solid minute before, “He hurt her, Maze. how did she even look at me and not want to kill me?”

“Because she saw herself in you. That is how you survived for so long. I know you hurt all the time, Bay. And if you were like your father, you wouldn’t have made it. This just proves that you are like your mother.”

His eyes glossed over and with a blink, a tear sid down his face, “I don’t remember her, Maze. I don’t remember anything but the scared look she got when I got angry.”

She brushed the tear away, “She loved you, Bay. I promise.”

His throat bobbed, “How do you know?”

“Because Cassian loves you and Nesta loves you and Nate loves you.” He flinched at Nate’s name. “And I love you. We can’t all be wrong.’

He saw her bruised throat and sat up. His voice was low with warning. “Maze. Who did that to you?”

She sat up and faced him, “It was my father.”

He blinked at the honest answer. She smiled at him, “We’re both liars, Bay. And we promised to never lie to each other, remember? Me and you, we keep our promises.”

He brought his knees up to his chest and sighed, “I’m sorry I didn’t help you.”

She shrugged, “Cyrian and Adrien helped me. It’s okay, you were busy.”

“I left Nate,” He whispered.

There it was. “Why? We both know you two love each other more than life itself.”

“Because I didn’t want to break him.”

“How would you break him?”

He ran the palm of his hand across his cheek harshly and looked at her, “Maze, look at me. I’m a mess with a rapist for a father. Plus I’m mentally ill and there is no cure for it. I will hurt Nate one way or the other, this way, he can move past me and find his mate and he’ll be happy and I’ll keep my promise to him.” He shrugged,” Adrien was right.”

“No, Adrien is an idiot,” She said. “And what about you?”

“Me,” He started, thinking about it. “I’m going to find my father and put a sword through his throat and then go home and tell my mother.”

Go home. Did he remember where he came from? Had he been back in the last eleven years?

“And after that?”

“I..don’t know.”

“You don’t see yourself living for a millennia, do you?”

He met her eyes and the answer was in them. Bay’s suicidal streak was never ending. She didn’t know what it was like, to be mentally ill. But she had seen Bay struggle since day one. But he wouldn’t just kill himself. He would suffer if it meant keeping those he loved from that pain. “Maze, I can barely see myself living in ten years. Even then, it’s wishful thinking.”

“Keep fighting, okay? We’re all here for you. No matter what. Were still here for Adrien despite him being a jackass.”

His throat bobbed and he nodded.

She squeezed his hand, “And how do you know you aren’t Nate’s mate? You could be, you know.”

He snorted, “Maze, I’m not that lucky.”

She leaned back on the palms of her hands, “Oh, I don’t know. You’ve got the commander as a parent, and his mate. And Ash Archeron is your brother. And Nate and then of course, you have me, as your best friend. I mean, just with me alone, that makes you incredibly lucky.”

His lips twitched into a small smile, “I love you, Maze.”

The fact he could tell anyone he loved them, it proved Nate was good for him. She wondered if Bay’s illness prevented him from realizing that he had good things in life. That it wasn’t all hopeless.

She pulled him into a hug. He stiffened for half a second before returning it. Pulling back, Maze smiled at him, “I love you too, Bay.” She pulled apart from him, “Everything will be okay. I promise.”


	47. Chapter 47

He took a breath and took in the pitch, at the other Illyrians training. The past two and a half months, he let his anger at Ezekiel and himself fester and it cost him his brother and Bay. It almost cost him Maze and everyone else.

For the past two days, Nate hadn’t stepped foot in the Night Court and Bay hadn’t stepped foot in the Night Court or Hybern. He supposed Nate was still with Dacia and Bay was still with Ash and Maze.

He glanced at Blake, who was already taking his shirt off to train in the heat. Blake looked at him, tying his hair with a strap of leather, “You want Bay to believe you? You need to believe yourself first. You need to believe you won’t break Maze.”

He nodded and took his own shirt off before bandaging his knuckles. He felt some of the others look at him, at the scar that stretched around his side. “I can do this.”

Blake cut a glance at the ones gawking, just for them to turn away. He looked back at Adrien, “You got yourself bested by Nate. Nate, who would rather draw than fight. Learn to back up your mouth, Adrien. He would have killed you had you been anyone other than our brother. And I would have let him.”

Adrien’s shadows twisted around him, pulling Blake’s irritation out of him. Everyone was pissed at him; including himself. “I’ll fix this.”

Blake studied him with brutal efficiency, “Good. Come on, we got the pitch for the entire afternoon.” He gave him an edged smile, “And you got two months of catch up to do.”

——–

He began by stretching his wings out. A dull ache flowed through them from the lack of use. The pain was doable because of Cassian’s therapy. Blake’s eyes scanned Adrien’s wings, his eyes resting on the scar running down a membrane. Adrien’s shadows picked up the lingering guilt from Blake. He ignored it.

Blake’s eyes cut to his, “Push through it and do it again.”

He sucked in a breath and unfurled his wings as far as they would go. Wind slid across his wings in a gentle embrace. He repeated it until Blake said, “That’s enough. Now run laps.”

He did.

————-

Adrien curled his fists and punched forward into Blake’s mit. He punched left, then right and left, left again. Blake blocked each blow before dealing an uppercut himself. Adrien barely blocked the punch to his jaw. “Come on, Adrien. You’re better than this.”

He gritted his teeth and punched left. He had let Ezekiel win; unacceptable. He punched right, aiming for Blake’s ribs. He had hurt his brother’s mate; it was his own fault. He dodged Blake’s blow and got a hit on his brother’s jaw.

Blake spat out blood and gave him a savage grin; his shadows picked up Blake’s pride. “Again,” Blake grinned.

He punched forward, narrowly missing Blake’s shoulder. Nate wouldn’t come home; his fault again. He kicked, just for Blake to grab his foot and flip him to the ground. He flipped and landed on his hands and knees.

Pulling himself up, he elbowed Blake in the stomach. Blake fell back a few steps and Adrien blocked the blow to his face. Adrien twisted Blake’s arm behind his back and almost brought him to his knees.

Blake’s head snapped back, hitting Adrien’s diaphragm hard enough Adrien released him and staggered back, refilling his lungs.

Blake got to his feet and removed the pads on his hands, revealing the bandages on his knuckles. He looked up down at Adrien and gave him a wicked grin, “Warm up’s over.”

Adrien grinned back and punched first.

———-

Dacia had heard rumors about Nate and his abuse. She nearly broke everything in her house for her friend. But it was over, she believed it. She knew Nate wouldn’t want to talk about it; wouldn’t want pity or guilt. So she wouldn’t give it to him.

And when he showed up in her court a few days before, drenched in rain and war on his face, she knew he had been close to the edge; so she kept him from it and let him in her home to cool off.

The past two days, she let him sleep and heal. Now he was sitting in her kitchen, drinking and glaring at the bowl of fruit on the counter; specifically, the apples. She bit back her frown.

Dacia slid into stool across from him and took an apple from the bowl. Taking a bite, she tilted her head at her friend, “Now what did my apples ever do to you?”

He blinked up at her, “What?”

She examined the bite in her fruit before cutting him a glance, “Here I thought you liked apples.” Standing she picked up the bowl of fruit and put them on the counter behind her before returning to her seat. “There, now my fruit can be safe from you.”

Nate snorted and took a drink from his glass.

Dacia took a drink from her own stemmed glass. She studied Nate’s cross expression and sighed, “Sweetie, as much as I love having you here, why won’t you go home?”

Nate took a drink from his glass and looked at her. His eyes darkened and he deadpanned, “If I go home, Adrien dies.”

Maze had shown up and told her enough about what happened that she put the pieces together. Putting her elbows on the counter and leaning forward onto the palm of her fist, Dacia sighed, “Mating bond, huh?” He rose a brow. She grinned, “I knew it. Ash owes me thirty coin.”

Nate shook his head and leaned back on his stool. “Your brother is an idiot, Cia. He can literally smell bonds and he still betted we weren’t mates? Pathetic.”

She shrugged, “I’ve come to the conclusion that straight males are all idiots. That just leaves a few of you that actually are smart.”

He took a drink, “Still Pathetic.”

“Hey now,” her black nails clicked the counter, “your brother is just as bad as mine.”

“No,” Nate leaned forward again, spreading his fingers on the smooth marble, “Mine is worse.”

She laughed.

——-

Maze sprawled out on Ash’s chair, her leg over the back of the chair, hanging upside down. She studied Bay with an amused smile. He was in one of Ash’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants, since he refused to go home to get his own. She had the feeling all Bay’s clothes smelled like Nate.

Bay looked down at her with flat brows, “Woman, let me read.”

HE had been reading for the past few days, none of them let Bay be alone with his thoughts. So they all sat in Ash’s rooms and talked while Bay read his books. He had gotten through one and a half books in two days.

She snorted, “I didn’t say anything.”

“No,” he agreed, and flipped a page. “But you staring at my book is going to burn holes in the cover.”

Ash sat up on his elbows, and shot Bay an amused look, “Excuse me, that is my book.”

Bay cut Ash an annoyed look, his ears red. “When was the last time you actually read a book?”

Aurora snorted from her own chair, her hair falling behind her shoulders as she laughed. “Can you read books? What with you being, you know, blind?”

Maze grinned at her and looked up at Ash. She folded her hands behind her head and crossed her knees. “You know, that is a good question.”

Ash glared at Aurora, then down at her, “I am not about to explain how my magic blindness works to you.”

“I don’t believe you,” Aurora claimed. “I bet you have Bay read to you.”

“Bay, A little help?” Ash frowned. “These girls are being mean for no reason.”

“Ash can read,” a small smile sat on Bay’s face as he flipped the page. “He just doesn’t that often.”

“Having your brother defend you,” Aurora shook her head. “Weak.”

Maze was almost certain she saw Bay wince, but it was gone in a flash. She glanced at Ash, the male nodded, confirming what she saw. He got to his feet and grabbed a thick book from the shelf.

“I’ll prove it,” Ash said loudly. He dropped the book in Aurora’s lap. “Pick a passage, Babe.”

Bay cut Ash a glare, and snapped, “Be careful with that.” Maze and Aurora snorted.

Ash rolled his eyes as Aurora looked down at the cover, and back at him, “You read books about assassins turned queens?”

Ash crossed his arms, “They’re good books. Shut up.”

“I know they are, but I didn’t think you had good taste in, well, anything.” Aurora flipped through page after page with a serene smile before landing on one. Her smile then turned to one of an adder. “Here.”

Ash took the book from her and looked down. His eyes snapped up to her. “Really. This?” Aurora merely arched her brows. His gaze turned to steely determination, his eyes near glowing. Ash’s voice turned as dramatic and as serious as he possibly could; he began reading:

“She might have whispered it, might have pleaded for it. Because Darkness save her, Dorian gave it to her. To them both.

He remained on top of her when at last he stilled, his lips barely a breadth above hers- hovering after the brutal kiss he’d given her to contain his roar as release found him.

She was trembling with…whatever he’d done to her, her body. He brushed a strand of hair out of her face, his own fingers shaking.” 

Ash snapped the book shut and slid it into the shelf. He turned to Aurora, and glared at her, “Believe me now?”

They all burst out laughing at Ash’s expense, Bay’s laughter the softest.

——-

It took a large amount of magic for him to be able to read a book directly without the raised bumps. Each time he did it, he felt drained, luckily it didn’t last long. The books he had in his room were mostly for Bay when he came over. He kept his own books in the library since he didn’t read that often.

He laid back down on his bed, his head felt light. He turned his head to Bay’s direction, “Jerk.”

He felt Bay shrug, and settle more into the corner of the bed with his book. “You were the one stupid enough to take the bait.”

“Ash,” Maze asked.

Oh, he was going to regret this. “What, Mazakynn?”

“You wish you were Dorian, don’t you?”

He groaned, “I hate all of you.”


	48. Chapter 48

Stepping onto pitch, Tarus looked around before setting their eyes on Blake and Adrien. The brothers’ sparring was intense enough that they figured if it had been anyone else, they probably would end up broken. Tarus wasn’t so sure it was sparring or full on brawling.

“Enjoying the view?”

Tarus nearly jumped at the voice coming up behind them. Turning, Zevaykn was walking up to him, his hands in his pockets and his crooked smile in place. Tarus looked back to Blake and Adrien, “Is there a particular reason they are beating the hell out of each other?”

Zevakyn shrugged fluidly, “With those two? Who knows. It could be just the day of the week.”

Adrien seemed to be slowly building his strength back up. Tarus’s eyes rested on the scar curling around Adrien’s side, it would seem no matter how potent their blood was, it still didn’t heal him all the way.

Tarus rubbed the corded scar around their own throat, perhaps the Mother was containing their ability to heal, considering Tarus was a bastard of the Dawn Court. His blood wasn’t potent enough to fully heal, but potent enough to make them a target their entire life. She had a sick sense of humor.

Tarus could feel Zevakyn’s eyes resting on them, it made their skin prickle. Tarus glanced back at him, “What?”

“You know you did everything you could to help Adrien, yes?” Zevakyn looked directly at Tarus; Tarus noticed he never looked at their scars, always their eyes. “Has he thanked you, for saving his life?”

Tarus shrugged, “He’s been busy.”

A frown tugged on Zevakyn’s lips, “I’ll be right back.”

“Wait-”

——

Blake paused, just for Adrien’s fist to land on his jaw. He pushed his brother off him and looked up to see Zev stare at them with a calm look, his hands in his pockets. Zev’s eyes cut to Adrien, “How are you doing, Adrien? Feeling better?”

Adrien got up, wiping the sweat from his face. He didn’t miss the intensity of Zev’s words. “Getting there, why?”

“Have you talked to Tarus?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “No I haven’t. Where is he?”

“Actually, it’s ‘they’.”

Adrien blinked. “What?”

Aurora had told him that Tarus preferred different pronouns. Apparently Adrien had missed the memo. Blake supposed with him isolating himself, no one had the chance to relay the message.

“Not a he,” Zev said. “it’s a ‘they’.”

“Okay.” Adrien agreed. He studied Zev, his shadows twisted around him tighter. Adrien’s brows arched almost imperceptibly. “Where are they?”

Zev nodded behind them. Adrien looked over his shoulder, as did Blake. Tarus was standing at the base of the pitch, looking uncomfortable with their arms crossed. Adrien looked back to him and then to Zev, “I’ll be right back.”

—————–

Adrien made his way to Tarus. He hadn’t seen much of Tarus the past few months, Tarus had been with either Zev or Aurora. Apparently he had missed a lot when it came to them.

Tarus was the same height as him, but whereas he was solid, Tarus was more narrow. Adrien brushed back his hair and looked at Tarus. Tarus’s eyes flicked back to him, they were almost a burnished gold. Adrien wondered if it was from his mixed heritage, considering Aurora’s eyes were dark.

“How are you feeling, Adrien?”

“Alive,” He said, “Thanks to you.”

Tarus shrugged, “I was making up for the fact I nearly killed Blake. I thought saving his brother would make up for it.”

“I should have thanked you sooner. You did more than heal me, you carried me out if I remember correctly.” He didn’t remember much about that last day. He remembered Blake’s fist and unbridled pain, but other than that, Adrien drew a blank.

Tarus’s ears reddened and Adrien bit back a grin. “You know,” Adrien said, glancing back at Zev. He almost frowned, Zev’s shoulders had tensed, as he talked to Blake. “I think he might be interested in you.”

Tarus rose a brow, “What makes you think that?”

He isn’t following Maze around, he’s following you around. “Just do.”

—–

Zev pushed Adrien against the barrack, “What did you do to Bay?”

“Zev-”

“I told Nate to not hurt him. I obviously shouldn’t have worried about him, but you, my friend are so idiotic. I should have been worried about you and that mouth of yours.”

Bay had saved him in the Blood Rite, he owned the male a life debt and his best friend ruined his relationship. He didn’t know how to help Bay. The male was bent on not hurting Nate and Adrien had gotten in his head and tore him down. He didn’t know what happened, Blake wouldn’t tell him; the male just said Adrien was responsible for their break up.

Adrien blinked at him in surprise. Zev tried so hard to not hurt people. He had nearly died in the Blood Rite, trying to talk his way out. But here he was, his palms pinning Adrien flat against the wall; his fingers digging into Adrien’s shoulders, nearly drawing blood. “You will fix this, do you understand me, Adrien?”

He felt fingers dig into his shirt, pulling him back from his friend. He turned, Tarus was looking at him with an intensity he couldn’t place. “Don’t,” Tarus said softly. “Keep your promise.” Chelia.

He looked down at Tarus’s fingers still in his shirt and back up to their eyes. Tarus didn’t touch people, that much had been clear over the past few months. He took a breath and stepped back from Adrien. He found himself almost leaning into Tarus, but stopped himself before he invaded their space. He closed his eyes and sighed, “Fix this, Adrien.”

“I’m trying.” He said, pushing off the wall. His expression was set with grim determination. “I’m trying, Zev. But I need to fix myself before I can get Bay to believe me. Bay isn’t one to forgive and forget so easily. If he doesn’t believe me the first time, he will not believe me the second time.”

“So, what you are saying,” Tarus said, releasing Zev’s shirt, “Is you have one chance to not mess up.”

“Exactly,” Adrien said.

“Bay is that stubborn?” Tarus asked. He wasn’t sure if it was stubbornness as it was bone-deep fear.

“Oh yeah,” Adrien said. “It has to be the truth.”

Zev nodded slowly, understanding. “You can’t lie to a liar.” Bay lied about his sexuality, his illness, where he was from, everything, if only so he didn’t have to feel the crushing weight of it all. He would know if someone was lying to him.“Don’t mess this up, Adrien.”

———————-

*Later*

Zev found Tarus on the hill, facing the sunrise. Drawing their leg up to their chest, Tarus rested their chin on their knee. Tarus’s face was almost serene, smoothed out; the kohl darkening their eyes almost to a amber brown. The longing on Tarus’s face wasn’t hard to miss, if you knew where to look.

“Can I sit?”

Tarus moved over, “Sure.”

Zev sat next to them and studied the sunrise. Pinks and golds washed away the night sky, bringing about the next day. “You miss it, don’t you?”

“Is it strange,” Tarus mused, “to miss a place you’ve never been?”

Zev leaned back and crossed his ankles. “No. I miss my parents and I never knew them. I would think it would be the same for a place.” Zev cut Tarus a look, just to find them already looking at him. “It’s your home.”

“This camp, it isn’t your home is it?”

A beautiful broken body flashed in Zev’s mind; the rage and heartbreak sat in his heart; but the look on Tarus’s face was almost a balm over the jagged wound. Zev swallowed and stopped himself from leaning into them. Again. “My home died when Chelia died. This camp is the only thing I have.”

“Aurora doesn’t want me to go back. Not just yet.” Zev hoped Aurora worked a way for Tarus to return, if only once. He hoped there was a way to change the High Lord’s heart, but he had the feeling Bay had been right in the Blood Rite. The High Lord, Zev felt, he would twist any kindness to his advantage and step on your neck. “She’s the closest thing I have to a home, I think.”

“What do you think will happen when you finally do?”

“I don’t know. I have questions only my father can answer and I have the feeling if he knew about me, and everything I am, he would either kill me on the spot or use me as a weapon.” Between Tarus’s identity and their sexuality, Zev never understood why people had such provocation about such things, especially one’s parent.

His fingers dug into the grass and he gave Tarus a promise. “I won’t let that happen, Tarus. He won’t get his hands on you.”

Tarus looked at him then, “Why do you care what happens to me?”

“Because you are a person? You deserve it?” Zev rubbed his neck, “Cauldron, I don’t know. I just care. Is that such a bad thing?”

Tarus’ face was searching and almost unreadable. They smiled then, “No. No it isn’t.”


	49. Chapter 49

Aurora brushed out her hair, letting it fall behind her in a wave of black. SHe studied herself in the mirror. She had on her traditional Dawn Court garb and her eyes lined in kohl and her lips stained red. She needed to be presentable for her father, needed to phrase her words just right.

She looked behind her to Ash. He crossed his arms and ankles and leaned against the doorframe, his face was hard; his firey hair tied back behind him. He looked down at her with a hooded stare. “We should take Blake.”

“No,” she said, “It’ll be fine. Besides, he has his own duties to deal with.”

“We need someone who can winnow,” He held up a hand, cutting her off. “Besides you.”

“No, we don’t.”

He pushed off the doorframe and walked to her. He stood nearly a foot taller than her and was unmovable. He gripped a blade at his side, “I may not be your mate, I may not be your friend, but if something happens to you, what if I can’t help you?”

“It’ll be fine.”

He grabbed her shoulders, almost shaking her. “Your father is sick, Aurora. Something is wrong with him. It isn’t in his scent but I can tell. He won’t drop this, he wants me because he thinks I can save him.”

She jerked back, out of his grip. “What are you talking about?”

His eyes narrowed, “You don’t know?”

“No, Ash. I don’t.”

“Why do you think he is so bent on getting me. You remember when I went to your court. He was nearly salivating at the idea of having my magic. In his demented mind, I can save him.”

“Can you? Heal him, that is?”

He dropped his hands, “No. No I can’t.” he swallowed, “And even if I could, I wouldn’t.Your father is not a good person, Aurora. I will not help him.”

“You’ll help me but not him.”

“Yes.”

“Then help me help him. Maybe if we heal him, we can dissolve the marriage completely.”

“We have been engaged since I was eight years old, Aurora. He has been planning this for a solid decade. No matter what we do, he won’t just let that go.”

“Ash-”

“He hits you, Aurora!” Ash snarled, “It isn’t anger, it isn’t whatever he thinks it is to justify his treatment of you and your people. It’s control. He wants control of you and me and I will not put my sisters at risk to maybe heal him.”

“I can talk to him then. I’ve been making headway for the past few months. He’s been listening to me, Ash.”

“People like him, they don’t change. Just look at what happened with Tamlin and my father. I won’t repeat history.”

“Fine, then I’ll go by myself.”

He grabbed her forearm, cementing her to him, stopping her from winnowing away. He growled at her, his eyes flashing; the temperature in the room was warm enough she could see beads of sweat on Ash’s forehead. “No you aren’t.” This is what Dacia had meant by wanting Ash in a fight. He was brutal and deadly beneath his sarcasm. And he won’t risk her getting hurt. He truly was the Autumn Court heir; fire and temper and all.

“Let go of me,” She snarled.

“No.”

“Ash-”

“I’m going with you, we are taking back up.” He loosened his grip and lowered the temperature, “I don’t give a fuck if you think you can talk to him. I’m not risking my cousin’s mate in order to end my marriage alliance.” His face was set with an uncompromising stubbornness. “We do this, I’m manipulating the odds.”

“Fine,” she snapped. “Who are we bringing?”

Dacia came in then, her golden hair tied behind her in a braid; she wasn’t in leathers, but the dress she wore could easily be fought in. “Me.”

——————-

The High Lord had been hunting him since he was eight, the only peaceful solution had been a marriage alliance. One he had hated every second of every day. He had wanted it gone so he could at least be free to choose. But, he didn’t want his family hurt because of a selfish wish.

Ash released her, and stepped back. “Are you still sure you want to do this, Aurora?”

He could smell the anger and a hint of desperateness on her. She wanted Blake, not him. She didn’t want to be a bargaining chip, she wanted her mate. He could respect that; he wanted the same.

“I don’t want to marry you, Ash. If I can get my father to change his mind, we will both be free.”

“We are Heirs,” He said coldly. “ We are never free.” Still, he looked to his sister. “You ready?”

His sister’s pulse was evened out, her breath calm and relaxed. She took his hand and Aurora’s. He looked back at Aurora. “Let’s go.”

They winnowed.

—————

Her father stood, then. His- her- eyes pinned her to the floor as she inclined her head. “Father.”

“What are you doing here early?” His voice was smoothed out, but the undertone set her blood in alarm. “And with the young Archeron male and High Lady of the Spring Court.”

Her magic suffocated in her veins, choking the life from her. She looked to Ash and Dacia, to see if they felt the same. Ash looked up then, not at her, but at her father. Ash’s fists were white with restraint as he bit out, “Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to. It’s just redundant. You knew this would happen. I can’t access my fire.”

Dacia looked up then, “Or move.”

It was a trap. Of course it was.

Her father descended the dias down to her. He looked her over with a calm intensity before his nostrils flared, taking in her scent His eyes flashed and he had her by her throat, “You whore.”

“Father-”

“You fucked that half breed and ruined everything I had planned. Ten years all gone. You just had to spread your legs for him.”

She heard the smack before she felt it. But it didn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop. She tasted blood. “Please-.”

“I hope it was worth it, I truly do. Because-”

——————

“Stop,” Ash snarled. He pushed on the barrier holding back his magic. “You’re sick.”

He felt the High Lord’s attention snap to him, his pulse increasing even more. The High Lord’s voice came out even. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Lie. “You wanted my magic to save yourself.” The damage to Aurora, for some reason, she wasn’t healing herself. No, she couldn’t heal herself. Something or someone was suppressing it. He needed to get to her to heal her. “So let me heal you.”

“Ash, no-”

Aurora.

He heard the smack and he pushed on the binds; Aurora’s heartbeat was thready at best, he knew she was unconscious and on the ground. Heartbeats came closer to him, three of them. Guards. He felt Dacia beside him, heard her, growling and pulling at the binds suffocating her magic. “You wanted me,” Ash said. “You got me.”

His father broke the King of Hybern’s binds, he would break the Dawn Court’s. He pushed again, harder, the second he felt them break, he summoned his magic and pinpointed the guards.

———-

Her brother’s eyes glowed and each of the guards dropped to the ground with ashened skin. He had burned them from the inside out. He stood, his hair falling around him, bruises were starting to form on his neck and into his shirt. He was trying to keep Aurora alive without touching her.

Walking around the ashened bodies, Ash stood toe to toe with the High Lord; the male had enough nerve to just sneer at Ash.

Her brother didn’t flinch or blink. “You made a mistake in harming your daughter. You broke the contract between our courts. Without an heir for me to marry, you have no alliance. And you just tried to kill the High lady of the Spring Court and the Heir to the Autumn Court.”

He pulled back a fist and connected with the High Lord’s nose. “That is for hunting me.” She heard the crunch from where she was, could almost smell the burning flesh. Her brother’s fire went down the High Lord’s throat and nose. He grabbed at the ground, trying to breathe; his healing trying to work in overdrive to save him.

Ash shook his head and crushed the High Lord’s back to the ground with a foot, until she heard a crack. Ribs. “You’re going to wish it was me who killed you.” Ash removed his foot. “Now, let my sister go.”

——————–

“No,”he gasped out.

Ash took out one of the blades from his leathers and kicked the High Lord over onto his back. Kneeling, Ash, positioned the blade between the ribs he had just broken, tearing into the lung in a jagged line. “Break. The binds. Now.”

The high Lord’s breath shuddered, “Probus-”

He heard a heartbeat quicken, that must be Probus. Ash stood and faced the heartbeat, “Your magic,” He tasted blood and bile in his throat. “It stopped her healing and you’re tied to the binds on my sister. Cut them or you die next.” He was getting light headed, but he forced Aurora’s heart to keep beating. He just needed to get her magic working again.

The sound of a sword unsheathing pricked in his ears. Ash blinked, trying to keep focus, “I just killed your friends, do you really want to die too?”

“Ash-” Daica got out.

That was all he needed.

Summoning his fire, he wrapped his flames around the male and let him burn. —————–

Probus ignited in a column of flames and screams. Dacia was on her feet the second the binds broke and got to her brother. She gripped his chin, making him look up at her. Pain shone in his eyes and she wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “Stay awake. Were getting out of here. Don’t die on me.”

Touching Aurora’s body, the female’s body was slowly starting to lose the bruising to her throat and face and arms. She looked like she was Sleeping.

Dacia winnowed.


	50. Chapter 50

“What the hell is going on?” Blake demanded, pushing past a few others. If Cassian saw them all gawking and not training they all would be running laps until they couldn’t keep themselves elevated. Blake pushed passed Adrien and Zev. He stopped short at Aurora in Dacia’s arms. “Aurora?”

His attention snapped to his cousin and his bruised body. “What happened to her?”

Ash unhooked his arm from Dacia’s shoulder and stepped forward on shaking legs. Ash met his stare and his voice came out hoarse. “We went to the Dawn Court.”

“Why were you in the Dawn Court?!” Blake snarled at his cousin.

Ash didn’t back down. His finger pressed into Blake’s chest, “She went for you! She wanted you-”

Blake shook his head, nearly dropping to his knees. “No. No.”

“She wanted her freedom, Blake. The choice.” Dacias voice was firm, but tears stained her cheeks.

“There were binds on us,” Ash said. “We couldn’t move to help her until after the fact.”

Blake palmed his eyes and bit back his frustration. Inhaling, he moved around Ash and looked down at Aurora. Splashes of purple stained her arms and throat. He met Dacia’s eyes, “She should be healing. She shouldn’t have bruises. Why does she have bruises?”

“One of the guards, their magic, it cancelled out her healing. It’s slowly coming back, though. She’s looking better already.”

“Is he still alive?” Blake asked. “The guard?” He knew the High Lord was. Of course the evil bastard was.

“No,” Ash said, coldly. “I burned him until he was nothing but bone and ash.”

————–

Tarus stopped in Their steps. “Aurora?” Their eyes cut to Ash, “You, you were supposed to keep her safe.’ Tarus stalked towards Ash. He was dead; Tarus was going to kill him.

Tarus had the Heir by the throat when a force pulled him back, slamming Tarus into the ground, their back hitting the pitch, knocking the air from their lungs. Bay’s scabbed knuckles were white, restraining himself from furthering his attack. “You touch him again, I will kill you.”

Tarus vaguely sensed Dacia and Blake winnowing away with his sister. But Ash stayed. The sounds of the other Illyrians were drowned out by the promise in Bay’s gaze.

Illyrians were starting to clear off the pitch, save for them and a few others. Tarus had the feeling when Bay got into fights, it ended badly for everyone involved. Right now, They didn’t care.

“Bay. I’m okay.” Ash coughed. Bay’s gaze hardened at the bruises dipping into Ash’s shirt, at the blood on his lips. “Stop.”

Getting off the ground, Tarus pushed Bay hard enough the male lost his footing and almost fell. Tarus towered over Bay. “He was supposed to protect my sister.”

“No, your father was supposed to not be a piece of shit.”

Tarus growled.

“Go on, try me,” Bay snarled. “I will finish what you started in the Blood Rite.” Adrien’s words sounded in Tarus’s ears: Bay doesn’t forgive or forget.

Bay’s eyes were filled with a brutal promise that had Tarus pulling their fist back. This was their sister, the last of their family, the only thing Tarus had. And Ash Archeron didn’t keep her safe.

Tarus’s fist landed on Bay’s jaw, and Bay gripped Tarus’s wrist, twisting it behind them, dropping Tarus to their knees.

Tarus slammed their head backwards, the force knocking Bay backwards. Tarus had gotten to their feet just for Bay to knock them on their back, with his hand around their throat. Somewhere around them, Tarus heard a growl from Zevakyn.

“Stop trying to hurt my friends,” Bay growled down at him. “First Blake then Nate and now Ash, do you want me to kill you? Is that it?”

“Bay!” Ash got out. “Stop.”

Bay ignored Ash and looked down at him, his hand still around his throat. He pointed in the direction of Ash. “you see those bruises on him, that is from keeping your sister alive.”

“You’re lying,” Tarus wheezed, twisting out of Bay’s grip. They pinned Bay’s arms to the ground. Tarus growled down at him, “You’re a liar to everyone around you.”

Sharp pain hit Tarus in the stomach and they winced. It hit again and the force had Tarus scrambling backwards for air. Bay was on his feet in seconds. “I’m not lying,” Bay snarled. “The only way for Ash to get bruised is from healing.”

“And yet I don’t believe you.”

——–

Pulling Bay off Tarus, Adrien made the mistake of looking directly at Bay, issuing that challenge. Bay pulled him down by his shirt and shoved him aside, the impact nearly dropped him. “Get the fuck out of my way, Adrien.”

Adrien grabbed Bay’s wrists, stopping the next blow. “Don’t do something you will regret.”

Bay’s eyes widened and a sharp pain hit his stomach, dropping him to the ground, Bay looked down at him, “Speaking from experience?”

He heard Maze’s snarl from wherever she was, and Adrien tried getting up, just for Bay’s eyes to pin him down, “Don’t even.”

Adrien’s shadows picked up such black emotions from from Bay, it was almost disorienting. He wasn’t sure if it was apathy or if it was mania or if it was every negative thing under the sun. 

Cyrian’s, his emotions we’re mostly a detached amusement, his anger always in check, but Bay’s, Bay wasn’t detached, he felt everything and it’s all dialed to one thing.

“Bay, listen to me-”

“No,” Bay pointed at him. “You lost that right when you put your hands on me. I’m done with you.”

Adrien swallowed back his irritation and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Bay scoffed, “Just until the next time I get in your way, right? Then you’ll just slam me into the proverbial wall all over again.”

Adrien got to his feet then, “You look me in the eye and tell me that if your sister had been hurt and someone kept her from you that you wouldn’t have done the same thing as me.”

Bay’s stare was unflinching, “If she wanted to be left alone? I would have left her alone, not slam her boyfriend against the wall and put my hands on him. I wouldn’t have told them they were ruined and were breaking my sister.” Bay’s clenched fists whitened, his siphons flashed. “I wouldn’t have been you.”

Adrien wondered if he had broke something in Bay, by putting his hands on him.

They had known each other for years, and whether Bay admitted it or not, he had put an amount of trust in Adrien and he had shattered it.

“How do you know?”

Bay’s eyes flashed and Adrien’s shadows reached out, finding Nate’s. He knew his brother was running.

———

Zev blocked Tarus’s view of Bay, forcing their attention on him. He refrained from putting his hands on Tarus, to physically make them stop. But if he had to, he would. Zev put his hands in his pockets and gazed at Tarus.

“Listen to me, you don’t need to fight him.” If you fight him, you will lose and I can’t lose you too. “Walk away.”

Their eyes flashed and they wiped the blood from their mouth with a shaking hand, “Ash Archeron-”

“Bay will kill you before you lay another hand on him. Your sister is still alive, Tarus. What if she wakes up and you are gone.” Tarus’s eyes darkened and Zev continued, “Bay would not lie about Ash. If he said Ash helped her, he did.”

Tarus narrowed their eyes. “He’s a liar, you said so yourself.”

“About himself. Bay lies about himself, not those he cares about.”

“Bay-”

“Bay will not play with the safety of his friends. This is the third time you have threatened one of their lives. The fact you are still breathing is a miracle in itself. Walk away, Tarus. Your sister still needs you. You can’t be there for her if you are dead. Ash isn’t responsible.”

Tarus closed their eyes and looked away with a clenched bleeding jaw and sighed sharply. Looking back at him, Tarus asked, “Then who is, Zevakyn?”

“Your father.”

————————-

Nate had barely felt anything with the bond. He had told his aunt as such, just for her to tell him about how Rhys yanked on theirs just to see if she was alive. So that was what he had done the past week, just to make sure Baylor was alive.

Nate winnowed in front of Baylor and grasped his face, forcing his gaze away from Adrien. “You need to calm down and breathe.”

“If Tarus lives,” Bay said harshly, “ they will kill someone I care about and it’ll be my fault because I didn’t end the threat the first time.”

“Bay-”

“And Adrien-”

“Listen to me, Baylor. Adrien is trying to prevent you from doing something you would never do. He’s trying to help you.”

Baylor’s breath was uneven, his pupils large enough the hazel were slivers of light. He closed his eyes, “Nate-”

“Look at me, ” he said. He waited for Baylor to open his eyes and he took a breath, “You don’t want to kill Tarus. It’s grief that had him at Ash’s throat. If if was Aysel, you would have done the exact same thing.”

A solid minute passed before Baylor said, “The past two weeks, I have been held down, not once but twice by people I trusted. I have had magic used on me by force. I was trapped in nightmares for nearly twenty-four hours. I killed five people for hurting you and then,” his breath caught, “I left you. I am so tired of everything spinning out of control. Why do things keep happening to me?” Baylor asked, more to himself than to him. “Why am I like this? What did I do to to deserve it?”

Nate wrapped his arms around Baylor and closed his eyes. His mates arms folded up between them, caught in Nate’s shirt and Baylor’s shoulders shook from his ragged intake. “I’m so done with all of this, Nate. The extremes are killing me and I’ll end up killing someone.” Nate almost heard it: And need to be put down.

Nate looked down at him then, he brushed the blood from Baylor’s lip, “One minute at a time, Baylor. You’ll be okay. I promise.”

Baylor flinched back from Nate’s touch, “Stop making me promises!”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I’m trying so hard to keep it together and I can’t do that when you keep doing things like this.” Nate wasn’t sure if he meant the promises or him touching him or both.

“When are you going to realize that I would do anything to help you?”

“I don’t need your help,” his voice cracked. “I need a fucking break from life and for you to turn around and walk away from me.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because-” the rest of the words died in his throat. “Because I’m not letting you break either.” He looked down at Baylor’s scabbed knuckles, at the bloodshot in his eyes. “When was the last time you slept?”

Baylor bit his cheek, “Last night.”

Ash came over to them, his hair coming out of the braid. Crossing his arms, Ash winced, his voice coming out raw, “Don’t lie to him, Bay.”

Bay’s eyes went to Ash’s hands, and hardened. Looking up at him, then slid his eyes to Nate, the warning in them was clear. Bay inhaled sharply and turned and walked away, his stained fingers hugging the back of his neck.

Nate stepped forward, just for Ash to block him. “Let him go.”

—–

Mor stopped short at the sight of her son kneeling in front of his bed, Aurora’s hand was in his, his thumb brushing the back of her hand. She looked up to see Aurora, she looked like she was asleep, but she knew. It wasn’t sleep. “Oh no.”

Blake’s back tensed and he stood slowly and faced her. Her son’s hair was loose around him, his eyes shone deadly despite the red rimming around them. “Did you know her father was still hurting her?” He asked it as if he already knew the answer.

She started forward, “Sun-”

“Answer me!” His voice broke, “Did you know?”

Mor closed her eyes and took a breath, “Blake-”

Betrayal and helplessness shone in Blake’s eyes, his fingers dug into his scalp and he looked up. Blinking back tears, Blake shook his head. “You are the Morrigan, Truth is your magic and you lied to me. My mate is in a fucking coma because her father beat her unconscious and you knew about it.”

She blinked back tears, “Blake-”

“I could have done something if I had known. I could have stopped this from happening. People I love keep getting hurt and I keep failing everyone. All of you are keeping secrets from me and I am sick of it,” he snarled. “First Adrien, then Nate, then my own mate and you. How am I supposed to protect anyone when all of you lie to me?”

“What would you have done, Blake? Instigated war, so soon after the last one? Aurora knew what you would do if you knew, she made me promise to not tell you to stop a war.”

He walked around her, dismissing her. Her temper snapped and she grabbed his arm, “Do not walk away from me. I am your mother.”

He pulled back his arm and stared down at her with glossy eyes, “Exactly. You are my mother. And you didn’t tell me. So much for your Truth, huh?”

He walked around her and she let him.

————

Cassian pushed past the crowd and stopped. “Why aren’t you training?”

The crowd quieted, and Adrien came forward. His nephew had a busted lip but besides that, he appeared fine. Tarus was pale and bleeding from his cheek and lip, but the rest of them appeared fine too. Interesting Bay wasn’t in the crowd. He crossed his arms and stared down at Adrien, “You want to tell me?”

A flash of red caught his eye and Cassian’s attention snapped to Ash. His nephew stepped forward. “You. I want my answers from you. Starting with why you are here and why you look like you went ten rounds with Blake and ending with where my son is.” 

He held up a hand, stopping Ash. He looked to the rest, his eyes resting on key people, “Everyone get back to training besides Adrien, Nate, Tarus, Zevakyn and Mazakynn Batalis.” No one moved. “Now,” He snapped. “Before I issue drills.” When everyone started moving, he looked back at Ash, “From the beginning.”

—————–

Bay leaned against the tree and took a breath. Looking down at the camp, he could still see Ash’s hair,and Nate talking to him; Maze checking Adrien for further injury. Bay frowned, he didn’t remember punching Adrien; he must have lost time again. He ran a thumb over his healing knuckles and closed his eyes at the sound of someone approaching.

“Hello, Cassian.”

Bay turned to see him coming up the hill, Cassian stopped in front of him and folded his arms over his chest. The commander’s face was unreadable as it searched him for injury. “Feel better?”

Bay mirrored him and gazed back, “What do you think?”

“I think you feel better that you hit Adrien for breaking your trust. Are you satisfied with that? Also that you put your hands on Tarus for going after Ash?”

His lips tightened into a firm line, “Three people Tarus has gone after. I don’t care if you are mad at me, I was protecting my friends. I will keep protecting my friends until I am dead.”

“You keep going and that won’t be for long.” Bay gazed at him in silence. Cassian studied him, “That’s what you want, isn’t it? You’re killing yourself keeping them alive.” Cassian stepped forward and Bay stiffened. “You can’t keep living like this; Your mother wouldn’t want you to.”

———————–

Bay’s reaction to him getting closer to him had Cassian wanting to break something. His son expected a repeat of what happened in Velaris. Closing his eyes, Cassian sighed through his nose. Neither Azriel or Lucien had a child like Bay or Aysel. Aysel was starting to miss her milestones and his son was self destructing and all he could do was watch.

They all had been waiting for both Bay and Adrien to go off. It was just unfortunate they both went off around each other. Their tempers fueled each other’s and it took several people to pull them apart. Or one mate.

Bay’s wary gaze turned back to the camp below them. “She can’t want much of anything, Cassian. It’s one of the benefits of being dead.”

“I think she would want a lot, Bay.”

“How would you know, have you been dead?”

Close enough, he thought.

“How the hell did she get through to your ass?” Cassian sapped, “I have tried for years and still don’t understand how she did it.”

Bay looked at him then, startled, “What?”

Cassain sat on the hill, staring back over the camp. He felt Bay sit next to him, his son rested his chin on his knee. Cassian looked at him, “You remember when Nesta got you to start reading?” Just saying her name, it felt like a physical blow to the stomach.

Bay blinked, “I was ten.”

He nodded, “You would sit in the library and look at the books but not actually read them. She noticed it first.”Bay’s eyes bet his. “You couldn’t read the words. You were memorizing things so you could pass as literate.”

Bay shrugged, “The letters kept moving and I was falling behind everyone else so I found a way to make up for it.”

“I tried so hard to get you to read. I tried bribing you, coercing you, but you just dug your heels in and refused to listen to me. You are so stubborn, half the time I want to beat my head against a wall.” Bay’s lips twitched into a fleeting smile and he looked down. Cassian sighed, “I swear half the time I think you are me at your age.”

Bay snorted.

“She got you too though. It took months to get you up to speed but she sat with you for hours on end and got you to the point all you do is read. What did she do?”

Bay’s forehead rested on his knee, his eyes closed. “She listed the advantages and disadvantages of what would happen if I didn’t learn, saying it was in my best interest if I were going to get anywhere in life.” He looked up, “The good outweighed the bad. So I learned.”

“She took the emotion out of it. Made you see the logical side of it.” Cassian swallowed, “Do that now. Do the logical thing, Bay. List the things keeping yourself alive. The good outweigh every heartache and bad thing that will or have happened. You just need to live long enough to see that.”

Bay’s throat bobbed and he inhaled sharply, squeezing his eyes tighter. “I miss her.”

Cassian blinked back tears and palmed his eyes, “I do too, Kid.”

Bay looked at him, “I’m sorry you lost your mate, Cassian.”

“I’m sorry you lost another mother, Bay.” Cassian inhaled sharply before, “I’m sorry it’s taken so long for us to talk about her. It’s just-”

Bay answered for him, “It hurts.”

“Exactly.”

He gripped Bay’s chin, forcing him to look at him. Bay’s breath was so controlled, it froze his face. Bay looked at him with wide eyes and Cassian met him stare for stare, “She’s gone, and we can’t change that, and I know we don’t exactly get along with each other, but Bay, whether you like it or not, you are still my son, you are still my family despite the blood in your veins.

“You still have me and Aysel and we’re not going to turn away from you, no matter what runs through your head or what you do or who you love, you will always be my son and her brother and nothing in this or any realm will change that. We both love you, Kid. No matter what.”

Bay’s face broke apart and Cassian pulled him close.

————

Maze examined Adrien’s busted lip for a solid minute before looking up at him. Her mate’s eyes were troubled. She gripped his leathers, pulling his closer to her, “You did the right thing, getting between Bay and Tarus.”

Gooseflesh slid down her back at the touch of air sliding past her scarred cheek. His shadows, she realized. Adrien wiped the blood from his lip and gazed down at her, “I know I did. One of these days Bay is going to snap and kill them, you do realize this.”

She shook her head, “That’s where you are wrong. You saw Bay’s siphons. He has the same amount as Blake, if he was going to kill Tarus, he would have used his magic and decimated them entirely.”

Adrien leaned back against the wall, “He was holding back.”

“Exactly. Bay knew on some level why Tarus had Ash by the throat. It was why he didn’t outright kill him, he knew he would have done the same thing.”

“I did something to him, Maze. To both him and Nate and I can’t take it back.”

“I know.”

“They had been together for almost a year.”

“I know.”

He met her forehead with his, his thumb brushing the scar on her cheek. He gazed down at her, his eyes searching, “Why the hell do you put up with me and my idiocy?”

Usually she would say something about how much ‘work’ she had put in him, or joke but the look he gave her….

“Do you really not know?” he gazed at her in silence and she shook her head, “Adrien, you may be an asshole to nearly everyone and have a temper, but I know you would never turn it on me. You never lie to me despite knowing I keep things from you all the time.” His eyes darkened.

“You would sooner kill yourself protecting your family then turn against them.” She stopped him before he could interrupt her. “Yes, I know you hurt Nate and Bay. But you are pulling yourself back to the male that I love so you can make up for it.” She patted his chest, “You are a good person, that is why I put up with you and your idiocy.”

His lips brushed her forehead and she closed her eyes, leaning into him. 

“Also,” She said, meeting his gaze, “I have seen you struggle and you let me see the parts of you that are broken. You let me go to physical therapy with you, you don’t question why I have nightmares. You just stay up with me and fly or you sneak out of your barracks and sleep with me. You are okay with not having the answers so long as you know I am okay.”

His lips twitched into a small smile, “Wow, I didn’t know I had so many good traits. Maybe you’re the lucky one in this relationship.”

I am. She snorted, “In your dreams, Adrien.”

His smile grew, “Always.”


	51. Chapter 51

The heat was cooking his golden skin, sweat dripping his hair in his eyes. The entire week had been off and unease sat in Adrien’s chest. Whether it was from the lack of biting sarcasm or just the emotions he picked up from Maze, he wasn’t sure. He slid his hair back from his eyes and looked down at Maze.

“What’s wrong?”

She looked up at him, studying him, almost daring him. “It’s Cyrian.”

He bit back a sigh and crossed his arms. “What about him?”

“I think he’s in trouble.”

He nodded, thinking, and began bandaging his knuckles. With Cyrian, it would be a fight. Mother forbid anything was easy when it came to him. “What can we do?”

She rose a brow, “You actually care?”

He sighed through his nose, and flexed his fingers, checking for dexterity. Looking back down at her he rose a brow. “He happens to be a large part I am still breathing, so yes.” She stared at him with disbelief. He rolled his eyes, “Are you going to answer me or are you just going to stare at me?”

She swallowed, “We need Nate and Blake.”

She would only pull Blake from Aurora if it was bad. Once again, she was keeping secrets from him. He gave her a hard look, “What aren’t you telling me, Maze?”

“I think he made a bargain with Atropine to help me.”

“Is it because of this Demeytria?” She flinched at the name but offered no answer. Of course not. “Damn it, Maze.” He pinched his nose and sighed, “One of these days your secrets are going to backfire and get someone hurt.” She pursed her lips and he took her calloused hand, “Let’s get my brothers.”

He winnowed.

——–

Maze could smell the rage and sorrow without even stepping into Blake’s room. She didn’t want to take him from his mate but he was the best fighter of them all, and to get Cyrian, they needed him. Adrien’s shadows darkened and he looked to her, his eyes filled with warning, “Stay behind me.”

If Adrien was warning her off his brother, there was a damned good reason for it. She nodded and took a step back behind Adrien. Her mate knocked on Blake’s door and braced himself. He had knocked five times before Blake answered it. Blake looked at his brother with a flat stare and then down at her, “What.”

She could see Aurora from where she was, it was an effort to meet Blake’s red rimmed, near glowing eyes. He was barely holding himself together. “We need your help,” She said.

“This better be fucking important, Maze.” Blake snapped. “I’m not leaving my mate unless it’s life and death.”

Adrien growled a warning, “Watch it.” Blake’s eyes narrowed slightly, his shadows twisted tightly around him. Adrien braced the doorway, blocking Blake from her. Adrien’s voice was even, “And it is life and death.”

Blake didn’t so much as blink at Adrien’s reaction. If he really wanted to, he could tear through Adrien and all both knew it. Blake looked to her for the answers, “Tell me,” Those shadows darkened, his eyes turning hard and icy, “and it better be the fucking truth.”

She told him what she knew and Blake’s lips thinned and sighed through his nose. With a glance back at Aurora, his shoulders slumped just a little. He looked back at them, “Let me get Requiem.”

His sword.

——————–

Nate felt them before the knock sounded at his door. He ignored the knock and wrapped his ankles around his chair, pulling him closer to his desk and kept sketching. He couldn’t get the damned thing the way he wanted and it was pissing him off.

“Nathaniel,” an impatient voice said. Adrien.

He ignored his brother and continued sketching. Adrien said his name again and again and he almost broke the piece of charcoal in his blackened fingers. Getting up, Nate answered the door to his brothers and Maze. “Keep repeating my name like that I’m gluing your mouth shut. What do you want?”

“We need your help,” Adrien said.

“Oh, this ought to be good.” Nate crossed his arms. “Why would you want my help? You’re the fighters, not me.” Out of his brothers and the rest of his friends, he was ranked last. He usually had to be pulled onto the pitch and away from his art.

“It’s Cyrian,” Maze said.

Nate leaned against his door and crossed his ankles. Cyrian had saved their asses time and time again, he supposed it was their turn to return the favor. “Alright,” Nate said, “What’s the plan?”

Maze told him.

—————

Blake took the flank, going into Atropine’s office. The female looked up, her eyes pinning on Maze. Adrien growled, but remained quiet as Maze stepped forward, bracing her hands on the desk.

Atropine leaned forward, giving Maze a serpentine smile. Blake braced his sword as Atropine said, “Hello Mazakynn. Here to broker another deal?” What deal?

“Where is Cyrian?” Maze said.

“My son is none of your concern,” Atropine said, “Now leave.”

“Answer her question,” Adrien said. “then we will.”

Atropine rose a brow at Adrien and clicked her nails on her desk before sliding her eyes to Maze. “My son is fulfilling his end of a deal we made to keep your beloved Mazakynn safe.”

“What?”

“To keep you out of Demeytria’s hands, Cyrian sold himself to his father.”

Red coated Blake’s vision and it was Nate who held him back. Was it too hard for parents to love and cherish and not hurt their children? To not torment them? Blake bit down on his anger and remained calm, reminding himself why he was here. And it wasn’t to kill Atropine.

Maze flinched back, as if she had been slapped. She curled her hands into fists at her sides, her knuckles white. Her voice wavered, “I can take care of myself.”

Atropines eyes narrowed, “Ungrateful brat.” Blake had his hand on Adrien’s shoulder, keeping him in his spot. “You touch Cyrian and I will revoke my protection.”

“She doesn’t need your protection, you evil bitch,” Adrien snarled. Blake dug his fingers into Adrien’s shoulder, as did Nate. “I will keep her safe if need be. So will my family. As for your son-“

“Let’s go,” Nate interrupted.

————-

Adrien didn’t like Cyrian on a good day, but he was willing to help Maze. The least he could do was help him in return. Atropine and Devlon, what they were willing to do to their son just because he wanted to help her….

They stopped in front of Devlon’s house. Adrien turned to Maze, “When we’re finished in here, you and I are going to have a talk.” He was tired of her lying to him. How was there supposed to be any trust if she kept things from him?

“Maze,” Blake said, “We get him out, he’s coming home with us, do you understand? Were taking him to Velaris and he’s staying with us. I’m not leaving him with his mother or father.”

She nodded. “Let’s go.”

————

Maze ignored the turmoil that was building in her chest and led the brothers into the house. They found Devlon in his study, doing Cauldron knew what. He looked up at her, then to Nate, Adrien and finally resting his eyes on Blake. Blake who looked ready to smash Devlon’s face in, Nate’s arms were crossed. Leaning back in his chair, Devlon said to him, “What can I do for you?”

“You can give us your son,” Adrien said quietly, his face carefully blank. The amount of ice in his voice chilled her blood. Devlon was focusing on the wrong brother.

“I think not,” Devlon said, his eyes shifting to Adrien.

Adrien looked down and laughed quietly before he moved fast enough to have Devlon up by his shirt pinned against the wall. Adrien snarled at him, “I wasn’t asking, you piece of shit.”

Maze pushed past Blake and Nate and sat on the edge of the desk, “Where is he?”

Devlon tried pushing Adrien off him, just for Adrien to slam him back, “Answer her.”

The muscles in Adrien’s back were strained from fighting Devlon, keeping him in place. If she didn’t know better, she would say Devlon looked worried. Devlon spat on Adrien, “I can do what I want with my son.” Blake and Nate growled behind her.

Adrien inhaled sharply and wiped his face on his arm. “Your son taught me some new things since the last time I saw you, Devlon. Would you like to know what I learned?”

Maze’s attention snapped to him, as did Blake and Nate’s, soft growls coming from them both. Adrien ignored them all, he was angry, at everything, especially at the fact that his male abused his son.

“It’s obvious,” Adrien said, “That you don’t love your son, so I’m going to take the two things you do love and I’m going to let you sit here without your wings and be broken.”

“No,” Devlon’s voice came out ragged.

“Maybe then you’ll learn something about love.”

Maze rose her chin as the brothers came forward, their skin deathly pale, Blake’s more so than Nate’s. They shoved Devlon to his knees, despite his thrashing, and Maze met Adrien’s calm gaze.

This, she realized, was what Adrien kept on a tight leash, what he hid behind sarcasm and temper and love. This is what happened to a boy who wouldn’t let Ezekiel break him. He isn’t the same Adrien from before the Blood Rite. He’s stronger. He’s my equal. He’s my mate.

“Are you sure you want to do this,” she whispered. His face was still blank, the only emotion she could find was the tic in his jaw.

“Cyrian’s your friend,” Adrien said after a heartbeat, as if that was answer enough. “And his father is lucky I’m not killing him.” She nodded to him and a snap filled her ears and an anguished cry came from Devlon. And then another snap as Devlon’s wings fell away.

Adrien stepped away from him wordlessly, much more than his hands stained with blood. Blake stared at him and whispered, “What the fuck, Ade?” Adrien ignored him and wiped his hands on his pants.

Nate stayed quiet and nodded to her, “Where do you think he is?”

Maze lowered to her haunches, taking Devlon’s chin in her fingers, meeting his eyes, “Where. Is. Cyrian.” Devlon didn’t respond.

“I know where he is,” Adrien said a moment later. “Come on.”

Maze turned to Devlon and broke his nose before following the brothers.

——–

The basement was dark and they found Cyrian hunched in the shadows, in a cell, his body beaten black and blue and purple. He looked up at them with glowing eyes and growled.

Maze stiffened and Adrien stepped in front of her. Maze swallowed, “Cy, it’s Maze.” Cyrian growled from where he was, near feral. “We’re taking you to Velaris, Cy. Do you understand? We’re getting you out of here.”

Adrien studied Cyrian and then turned to Nate, “Turn on the lights or find some kind of light.” Their brother nodded and did as instructed.

When light flooded the room, Cyrian hunched over onto his hands and knees and heaved for a solid minute. He looked up then, pale and clammy, his eyes locking on Maze then Adrien.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He scratched out.

“Saving your ass,” Adrien said, unlocking the cell. “And taking you home with us.”

Cyrian leaned his head back, “Go away.”

“It’s funny,” Adrien said. “That you think you have a choice.”

Cyrian looked at his brother, “Fuck you. I’m not going with you.” He paused, looking at the blood on Adrien, “Who’s blood is that?” Adrien didn’t answer and Cyrain stood on shaky legs. “Tell me or I’ll cut it out of you.”

“Daddy dearest,” Adrien said finally, with a detached tone.

Cyrian snarled and Maze stepped forward, “Cy, look at what he did to you, he deserved it. Let us help you.”

Cyrian dragged his eyes from Adrien and looked at her. “Is he dead?” She shook her head. He nodded slowly, his lips thin. “Why the fuck would I go with them? What about Demeytria?” There was that name again, who the hell is this female?

“Please” she said. “You need a healer and food. Please let them help you, for once in your life, let someone help you.”

“Fine,” he said.

————-

Cyrian took in the home of the Morrigan; soft colors and furniture and light. Adrien knew about his weakness, they all did, and if they ever used it against him…

“Cy,” Maze said, pulling food from an icebox. “Sit.”

He looked at her and then at the bothers, at Adrien covered in his father’s blood. He bit back his rage as he returned his gaze to her. “You got me here. Now what?”

“Now,” Nate said. “You eat while Adrien cleans up and Blake gets our parents.”

“No,” Blake said. “You will get our parents, I’m checking on Aurora.”

Nate sighed, “Whatever.” He turned to Cyrian. “Sit. Eat. And we’ll be back.”

———-

Adrien made it to the toilet seconds before heaving up the contents of his stomach. Clenching the sides of the bowl, Adrien leaned back and wiped his mouth with a shaky hand. Blake’s shocked face was seared in his mind, as was the emotion he picked up from Cyrain; the pure terror of the dark.

Flushing the toilet, Adrien stood and looked in the mirror at himself. Indeed, blood covered so much of him, it made his eyes- his father’s eyes- brighter, but somehow duller as well.

He turned the shower on, as hot as it would go before shedding the leathers that hugged his legs. Getting in, the water pelted his skin and wings and he washed Devlon’s blood from his body, letting it and the ice in his veins circle the drain.

———-

Mor sat at the bar, watching the others drink. She nearly pouted before Rita leaned across from her, “Don’t even think about it, Mor. Not while you’re pregnant.”

Mor wrinkled her nose and Feyre laughed. “One more month,” her friend said. “And then you can drink to your heart’s content.”

She almost replied when her son came in. “Mother,” Nate said. “You’re needed at home.”

“What’s wrong,” Rita asked, cleaning a mug. “Is Aurora awake?”

“No,” Nate said, turning to Mor. “Cyrian needs your help. He needs healed.”

Feyre’s attention snapped into place, as did Rita’s.

“Where’s your father?” Mor stood, a hand on her stomach.

“Waiting for you,” Nate held out an arm. He gave Rita a small smile and turned to her, “It’s bad.”

She sensed the truth to her son’s words and took his arm. With a look to Rita and Feyre, “I’ll talk to you later.”

——–

Blake surveyed Aurora’s body. The bruises were gone, but she still slept. If he pretended, he could say it was sleep. That she was just resting and her father hadn’t beaten her to a pulp. That he hadn’t failed his mate.

Blake peeled off his clothes, replacing them with clean ones. His head was still reeling, what his brother had done, not in his entire life had he seen Adrien so brutally calm or had seen him go so far as to break off someone’s wings. And Cyrian taught him how? When?

Blake didn’t know but he saw Cyrian’s face when the light came on, when relief shone on his face. He wasn’t returning to Atropine or Devlon, he would stay with his family and heal for once in his life. He would make sure of it.

——–

Mor took in Cyrian sitting at her counter, eating. He had bruises everywhere, his hair a mess, he looked like hell. She blinked back the tears she knew would upset the boy. Cyrian looked up at her and froze. Clearing her throat, “Sorry, hormones.” He nodded slowly and she said, “You’re staying with us, understand? You will share a room with Maze.” She suspected Cyrian wouldn’t let his guard down to sleep around any of them.

Nate snorted, “What about Adrien?”

Mor pursed her lips, “Your brother will learn to deal with it.”

Azriel folded his arms, “What happened?”

Nate looked to Maze, Adrien came out of the washroom, in fresh clothes, looking every bit Azriel’s son. Adrien looked at his father, then at her, “Cyrian needed out help. We helped.”

Azriel narrowed his eyes slightly, his and Adrien’s shadows mingled together. Azriel’s eyes hardened and Adrien sat at the counter beside Maze. “I still want to talk to you,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “Later, though, okay?”

Maze nodded and turned to Cyrian, “Thank you, for what you did.” Cyrian shrugged and continued eating. Maze put her face in her hands and sighed deeply before looking to him again. Her lips brushed his cheek and both Adrien and Cyrian froze, a soft growl from Adrien. A small smile tugged at Maze’s lips, “I mean it, thank you.”

A low whistle came from Nate, who leaned against the wall. “Cauldron this is going to be so interesting.”

Both Adrien and Maze glared at Nate, “Shut up.”

Mor exchanged glances with Azriel before she said, “Let’s get you some decent food, hmm?”


	52. Chapter 52

“What were you thinking,” Lucien yelled for the tenth time, his golden-brown fingers digging into his son’s shoulders, near shaking him. Bay leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching his friend’s father lay into him. “He isn’t well and you know it. You scented it and still, you went without me.” 

His russet eye blazed with unshed tears of worry and fury. “You could have gotten yourself killed! You are a child and you keep doing things without thinking. Just because it’s hard to kill you doesn’t mean it can’t be done!”

Ash rose his chin, his eyes flashing, not backing down. “It was what Aurora wanted. We had Dacia. We had a plan but-”

Bay cleaned the condensation from his glasses. Here we go.

“Yes, Dacia is powerful,” Lucien said. “She is High Lady but you are my heir.” Ash’s jaw clenched, his knuckles whitened. “You are my son. Aurora is in a coma in the Night Court and you are black and blue from keeping her alive days later.” Lucien let go of Ash and stepped back, taking a shuddering breath. “If you didn’t have your heritage, Ash, what would you have done? You would have been dead.” Bay didn’t let those words sink in. Lucien shook his head, “If Thesan hadn’t broken the alliance first, hadn’t attacked you first, he would have grounds for war.”

“I didn’t want to marry her,” Ash’s voice was ice, his bright green eyes glowing against his golden skin, his lips pulled back into a snarl. Bay stepped forward as Ash continued. “She didn’t want to marry me. She has a mate and it is not me. She loves him and not me. I don’t want her, she does not want me.” 

Dread pooled in Bay stomach as the temperature rose even further, as Ash stepped toward his father, his fire red hair hanging limp past his shoulders, to the middle of his back, falling out of his braid. “Did you really think either of us would not do everything in our power to stop the wedding? To try to talk-“

With hair plastered to his forehead, sweat stinging his eyes, Bay stepped forward. His skin was cooking beneath his leathers, the heat choking the moisture from his body. Ash was ready to snap and his fights with Lucien, it would be him to get him to stand down, not his father. 

Grabbing Ash by the shoulder, Bay forced his brother to focus on him. “He. Is. Sick,” Bay said slowly, clearly. “His mind is not his. Words will not help. And you need to calm your ass down, right now. Preferably before you burn everything to the ground.”

The desperation was plain on his friend’s face, if you knew where to look. Ash’s gaze sharpened and he blinked rapidly, coming back from wherever he was. As the heat died down, the glowing in his eyes faded and Ash sighed deeply, defeated. “What would you know, Bay? Are you forced into a marriage that you don’t want? Are you stuck with another male’s-“

No, he didn’t know about those things, but he did know about sickness. “I know you cannot reason with it no matter how much you plead on your hands and knees, no matter how much you reason with it. You either live with it, cure it or die from it. That’s the way it is and always will be.” Bay tilted his head, “You’ve seen me struggle, did you really think that Thesan wouldn’t be also?”

The fight drained from Ash’s body as he realized his mistake and Lucien pulled his son into a hug before Ash could drop to his knees. Stepping back, Bay went back to the wall, watching father and son with a weary gaze. He needed to take care of his own father, and soon.

After a few heartbeats, Lucien pulled back from Ash, meeting his son’s gaze, “If you had just waited or at least come to me, you would have known I was working on a way to end this.”

Ash stared at his father, “What?”

———-

Leaning against the wall, Adrien crossed his arms. He had kept his mouth shut when it came to both his mothers’ and father’s decisions, letting Cyrian sleep in Maze’s room. His shadows couldn’t read Cyrian’s emotions half the time and it pissed him off. He supposed it was Cyrian’s own shadows, blocking Adrien from knowing exactly what he was feeling, it was just in that basement, the bone deep fear of the darkness, that emotion had spilled past his shadows.

Adrien pulled up a stool and sat across from Maze and Cyrian. The male’s bruises were gone, thanks to his mother’s healing. But he had been wary for the past three days, unsure about everything having to do with Adrien and his family. Cyrian paused and looked up at him, “What the fuck are you looking at?”

Maze elbowed Cyrian. Cyrian ignored her and kept looking at him. Sitting back, Adrien rested his elbow on the back of his chair and met Cyrain’s gaze for a handful of heartbeats before shifting his gaze to Maze, who was frowning at them both.

“Ready to talk?” He asked her.

Sighing deeply, Maze held out a calloused hand, ready for him. Interlacing their hands, Adrien winnowed them out of the house and to a bricked-out alleyway.

——-

Leaning against the wall, her mate crossed both ankles and arms, giving her a bone-weary expression beneath onyx hair and she braced herself for it. Leaning against the opposite wall, she mirrored him. She was ready for the yelling, it was coming.

“Who is Demeytria, Mazekynn?” His words were taut, ready to snap, but also soft She flinched at her mother’s name but stayed quiet. His eyes flashed, “Why are you so afraid of this female? Who is she to you?”

She looked down and away, not answering him. She didn’t want him to know about her, about the legacy that a mother left for a daughter, written in blood and anguish. Adrien’s voice was so soft, so heartbreaking, “Do you not trust me? Is that it? What do I need to do to earn it?”

She preferred the yelling to this.

Maze looked up just to see his hazel gold eyes bright and unguarded. He trusts her, she knew he did. He loved her and had for years, ever since he stumbled on her training. Touching his hand, she looked up at him. “I trust you. I do. it’s just…it’s complicated, Adrien.”

Blinking back the hurt, Adrien’s face smoothed over, emotionless and guarded. He pulled his hand away and leaned back. “It really isn’t. You either trust me or you don’t. You obviously trust Cyrian if he knows who the fuck that female is.”

She curled her fingers from the loss of heat to her hand and met his gaze. “I didn’t tell him.”

Crossing his arms, Adrien’s lips pulled down into a small frown. “Right.”

He didn’t believe her. “I didn’t tell him, Adrien. Atropine told him.”

He studied her in silence for a solid minute before he said quietly, “And in turn, Cyrian sold himself to his father to keep you safe.” He shook his head, his hair falling back over his eyes. “I told you your secrets would get someone hurt and guess what, I was right.”

His words were almost a verbal slap, ones she knew were right. But she needed her secrets and lies, needed them to survive. Cyrian at least understood that.

“That’s not fair,” She said weakly.

He was struggling to not move forward or apologize. His fingers dug into his biceps, keeping him from moving towards her. “If you had told us, we could have protected you and Cyrian would not have endured what he did for you. What happened, that is on you.”

Tears stung in her eyes and she swallowed, “Fuck you for using that against me, Adrien. Fuck you.”

“How else am I supposed to get through to you?” He asked quietly, stepping towards her. “You won’t tell me for me, or for us, or for you. But you will for him.” He used Cyrian against her to call out her lies, her heart dropped into shattered dry ice.

Adrien’s throat bobbed and he looked up, to the night sky above them. Moonlight washed across his golden skin and he quieted for so long before he looked back to her with furrowed brows. “Mazekynn, do you even know how many things you have kept from me? How many things I had to find out through someone else or had to see? Have you said so many lies that you can’t keep them all straight or are you just that good at recalling which ones you gave me?” 

He ran a hand through his hair, “I had to find out your father was hurting you by watching him hit you. And your brother? He attacked you, I found you bleeding and hurt and raging. I left you in a home where you were hurt over and over again, how am I supposed to help you if you won’t let me? If you won’t tell me?”

“I can protect myself,” She snarled.

“I know you can!” He snapped. There it was, the yelling. He was so close to her, his thumb brushed the scar on her cheek and he lowered his eyes to hers. His voiced softened again, “I know you can. But, that won’t stop me from trying to protect you, because I need to. My first instinct is to keep you safe. I can’t-” 

His pupils expanded, nostrils flared. Shaking his head violently, Adrien pushed himself back to the wall, putting that space between them again. “I had to watch Dominic raise his hand to you, I had to watch you take it, all because you didn’t tell me. Over and over and over again, you lie to me.” 

His eyes narrowed and voice turned guttural, “What else have you been lying to me about?” He asked as if he already knew the answer. He knew then, he knew they were mates.

Maze stopped breathing, silent tears fell to her cheeks.

—-

He forced himself backwards, forced himself to not step forward and wipe away those tears of anger, to not claim her as his. Mate, that’s what she is. His mate. She knows. She knew about it. How long has she known?

She stepped forward with a choked sound, “Adrien-“

“How long?” His voice cracked.

His mate.

She swallowed and looked away. He nodded, tears stinging his eyes. “So for a while then. You knew and you still lie to me.” Hurt and anger and a primal need choked him and he pushed himself further into the wall. His fingers balled into fists, his nails cutting bloody moons into his palms.

She rose her chin, despite the tears and said, “I am not entitled to tell you everything.”

His mind was reeling. This one secret, this was the line. This was the one she could not cross. The most important thing in their existence and she didn’t tell him. “A month?” Silence. “Three?” Nothing. “The Blood Rite?” A wince. “YOU’VE KNOWN SINCE THE FUCKING BLOOD RITE?”

Maze went to step forward, “Adrien-“

“THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR AGO!”

“Listen t-“

“Were you ever going to tell me? Or just add it to your collection of secrets?” It was out of his mouth before he could hold it back.

She snarled, “You were hurt and breaking and I didn’t want to put that on you. You were dealing with enough.”

“Is that the truth?” He asked savagely. “Or another lie?” She flinched. “You’re sharing your bedroom with another male,” he realized. “With Cyrian, and you knew.”

“Don’t you dare hurt him,” she growled, her amber eyes flashing. “Adrien-“

“Give me some fucking credit, Maze,” he snapped. Blood roared in his ears, shadows picking up warning and love and worry and fear. He just didn’t know for who. “Of course I’m not-“ He gaze a ragged breath, “He’s has enough problems and I don’t want-” He stepped into his shadows and winnowed away, leaving Maze to fly back to his home.

———–

This house, these people, there were no screams, no threats, no backhanded bargains. Instead it was soft, quiet, peaceful and he had been left alone to heal, to eat and gather his strength. Just one demand, he wasn’t allowed to return home to his mother.

The Morrigan had healed him, white haired, grey eyed Leta introduced herself to him. Judging by her coloring, he would say she was from the Winter Court, and he already knew the Spy Master, Azriel.

Cyrian dug into his food as Maze sat next to him with her hands in her face and took a ragged breath. Folding her arms on the table, she dropped her head onto them and sighed painfully.

Dipping his fingers in his milk, Cyrian flicked them at her, “Adrien call you out on your stupidity?” She looked up and glared at him, wiping her face. He rose a brow, “I could hear you two from here.” Vaguely amusing, although he would have snapped Adrien’s neck for his words if the male didn’t at least have a semblance of a point; if he wasn’t her mate.

She eyed him warily, “Then you know.”

“Of course. The fact it took him until now, Adrien is a fucking idiot.” He turned towards her and rested his elbow on the counter, “Just tell him who Demeytria is.” She pursed her lips and looked down. He leaned in and whispered, “I’ll do it if you don’t want to.”

Something flickered in her amber gaze as Nate sat at the counter across from them, pulling an apple from the bowl in the middle, eyeing them both; Cyrian leaned back, digging into his food again.

Nate rested his chin on the palm of his hand, taking a bite from the fruit in the other, his eyes shifting from him to Maze. “So, Maze. Do tell me why my asshole brother was yelling at the top of his lungs,” he pointed at her with the apple, “At you? Trouble in paradise? Mating bond chafing? Do tell.” She reached for the bowl of fruit, to throw at him, just for Nate to pull it away from her, “No violence in the house. More importantly, wasting food is a crime.”

Cyrian ignored him and kept looking at Maze. Her amber eyes met his, her voice wavering, “I don’t want Adrien to know about her.” He knew Maze hated her mother, the female made his own seem perfectly civil. “She isn’t a good 

“So what,” Cyrian said. “Adrien’s killed people. I’ve killed people, a lot of people. You still bother with us. With me.” He gripped her chin, forcing her to meet his stare. “Tell him before he learns it from someone else.”

She jerked back and huffed, “Fine.”

——-

Atropine shielded her face with her hood, her eyes narrowing in on the Fae around her. This pain, this pain in her chest, the constant squeezing and pounding, was because she didn’t have Cyrian. She didn’t know where her son was, what they were doing to him. If they hurt him….

A female stopped her, grabbing her elbow. Atropine snapped back and the girl dodged calmly, moving her hair away from the side of her neck, and Atropine took in the D engraved on the girl’s skin. She grabbed the female’s face. “Tell Demeytria she has a deal.”

The female smiled and she disappeared into the shadows. Atropine started walking again, heading towards the throne room. In her peripheral she watched as Fae slowly sunk into the shadows, Demeytria calling them away so Atropine didn’t decapitate them for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

She saw Lord Thanatos’s men also scutter away, leaving only those loyal to the High Lord. A smile pulled at her lips and Atropine pushed her hood back, walking into the throne room. A female, little more than smoke and tendrils slipped past her. Demeytria truly did have her little spies everywhere.

Atropine slammed the door closed. Her cloak fell to a pool around her feet and Atropine thumbed the daggers at her sides. She smiled at those closest to the High Lord, his advisors, his whatever that boy needed. The ones who didn’t side with Demeytria, Thanatos, or any of the others.

—-

Atropine moved like a snake, herding them into a tight circle. She felt their magic building up, ready to strike at her. Good. She wanted them to bring down this throne room while she drenched it in their blood. The first High Fae moved, tendrils of magic shooting towards her.

Atropine dodged it swiftly, spinning around, grabbing the male’s neck and snapping faster than the eye could see. She ripped his head off, throwing it to the other side of the room. Blood sprayed on her face and chest and she grinned, licking her lips. “This is a message to your High Lord,” Atropine purred, grabbing the neck of a female who had tried to sneak up from her from behind. “Tell him the cages are open. I hope he’s fast enough to catch the beasts. Before we eat him alive”

Atropine slammed her forehead against the female’s, her eyes glowing as she tossed the limp body away, bringing out her blades. She wanted their blood to spill, to swim across the High Lord’s floors, untouched by death and decay. So she cut them down like a field of wheat, slicing open arms and legs, necks and chests and backs.

She always went back, always took their heads. A sign, if only the High Lord knew how to read them. Atropine grinned, red soaking her body. It dripped from her arms as she snapped the final neck, the body sinking against her own. Atropine stroked the male’s face gently, grinning. “I suppose you won’t be telling him anything, dear one. I’ll have to do it myself.”

Atropine shoved the body aside, her hair flat against her back. The natural curls were damp with blood and she picked up the first body, dragging it over to the High Lord’s throne. She tilted her head to the side, clicking her tongue. Atropine licked her lips one last time as she went to work, writing the High Lord a message in the blood of his people.

The people he chose to protect. She tossed the drained body aside and grabbed another one. Then another one. Until the High Lord’s throne and his mate’s throne held her son’s name; “CYRIAN” written across their backs.

She wiped her face off and wrote a simple message on the walls, watching as the blood streamed down. Atropine flipped her hair to the side, wringing it free of blood, before tying it up. She walked out of the throne room, leaving footprints behind her. The Lady of Nightmares, of Torturers, of far greater evils that what should exist left the throne room open, letting the people of the Hewn City scream over their fallen, over the blood that coated their signal of power.

Blood dripped from her fingers, still wet from the message she had written. From her, from Demeytria, from Thanatos, from the Darkbringers, from every last High Fae, Illyrian, and Other that had tiptoed around each other, around the High Lord. A call to action; a sign that Atropine was ready to join them. A declaration of war.

The nightmares have just begun, Rhysand.


	53. Chapter 53

Digging into the couch, Bay watched Aysel warily. Shaking her head, reaching around her, the Princess squealed. The movements, the healer said, she called them stimming, found in those with developmental disabilities. That perhaps she saw too much, felt too much at such a young age it was hindering her development. But it was caught early, it could be treated.

He looked to Cassian, the male also watched her with a small smile tugging at his lips despite the worry in his eyes. Leaning down, Cassian kissed the top of her head, “Happy Birthday, Sweetheart,” before he too sat on the couch. Aysel hadn’t acknowledged him, just shook her head and squealed. Cassian looked over at him, “Holding up?”

A small smile tugged at Bay’s lips. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?”

Before Cassian could respond an upbeat voice said, “We have arrived!”

Bay looked up, startled.

Leta, Mor and.. everyone filed in, fighting over seating. The only one missing was Blake and Dacia. Bay’s eyes slid to Nate, who sat cross-legged on the floor, his eyes already on him. Bay swallowed and Nate looked down, opening his sketchbook. Bay’s ears heated as he looked away.

Leaning over, Leta’s white hair spilled past her shoulders, as she kissed Cassian’s cheek, “Today is no day to be alone.” Her gown swept as she moved to him, kissing his cheek too. “And you too, mister.” Bay wiped his cheek and she put her hands on her hips and took them in, pursing her lips, “Brooding males, Aysel has no chance with you two.” Bay glared at her and her perkiness. Leta’s smile only grew.

Sitting in the oversized chair, Mor placed a hand on her stomach and smiled at Leta. The female leaned down, kissing Mor’s cheek and stomach before resting on the armrest. Cassian cracked a grin, not quite reaching his eyes. “Aysel will be flying circles around your boys, just you wait.”

Azriel’s lips tugged upward, “We’ll see.”

Maze sat down in front of Aysel, leaning down, whispering, “Don’t listen to them, I’m going to make sure you can kick all their asses. Just you wait.” She kissed Aysel’s head and leaned back on her hands, her amber eyes going to Nate before sliding them to him. She rose her brows in question and Bay shot her a look. She frowned but dropped it, her eyes going to Adrien, who was trying his hardest to ignore her.

Rhys smirked, his son tucked into his arm, playing with Rhys’s free hand. “Biela and Bat are going to be the ones to fly circles.” Biela squealed from the floor, at her name, and Feyre smiled. “Talented already.”

Elain smiled and Cassian grinned at her, “You know who’s the best, don’t you?”

She shrugged, “They all are, wouldn’t you agree?”

Ash snorted halfheartedly at his mother’s nonanswer and looked at him then Cassian, no doubt reading them. Cassian’s arm reached across the back of the couch and his eyes rested on Ash, no doubt remembering Bay flying him out through the balcony windows, stopping him from killing himself to save Nesta.

His attention shifted back to Aysel, love and longing plain on his face. Aysel’s lips quivered and Bay moved before she could scream in his head. Picking her up, Aysel calmed down as Bay sat back on the couch with her. Cassain leaned over, tucking a golden-brown curl behind her ear.

“She looks just like her mother,” he murmured, looking down at her.

“Better than looking like you,” Azriel said, quietly. Elain and Adara covered their mouths with their hands, hiding a smile, though everyone else laughed loudly.

———–

Bay sat in the kitchen, getting away from the group for a few minutes. Placing his glasses on the counter, Bay palmed his eyes and sighed. His heart was raw in his chest and he was exhausted, though he welcomed the distraction Cassian’s family brought with them.

“This seat taken?” He would know that voice if he had been struck dead and gone from this world. Or any world.

Bay slid his glasses onto his face before turning. Nate stood in front of him, his hair pulled back, a pencil in his cuffed ear. Bay refrained from wiping the charcoal from the male’s cheek. He had never seen Nate look so unsure in his life, the male didn’t know what Bay would do.

Bay moved over, offering his seat and moved to the one next to him. Reaching over the counter, Bay grabbed an apple and offered it to him. “Here.” Nate’s face paled, his eyes resting on the apple before slowly shaking his head. Bay frowned but put it back in the bowl before leaning on an elbow, “You’re never not hungry, Nate.”

Nate grinned, “Need room for dessert.”

Bay snorted, “Why eat apples when you can have chocolate cake?”

“Exactly.”

Nate sat his sketchbook on the counter and it was an effort to not open it. Nate studied him before sliding the leather-bound book in front of him, “It’s for Aysel. What do you think?”

Bay opened the book and covered his mouth. Picture after picture of Nesta and Cassian- and him- with infants, poses, smiling, holding Aysel and her brother from birth until now. Bay looked at him, his voice thick. “She will love it. Of that I promise.”

Nate looked at him beneath long lashes, tilting his head, “How are you doing?”

Words prattled on in his head; Exhausted, angry, lonely-

he rubbed his temples, “As well as can be expected, I suppose. I just.. I can’t believe it’s been a year since.. you know.” Since she died. Bay turned to Nate, resting his elbow on the counter. “She would be happy, I think, that Cassian is laughing today. That your families are gathered together and is teasing each other instead of brooding.”

Nate frowned, “I’m sure, you’re right.”

Sighing Bay stood, “Let’s get out there before Aysel starts screaming in my head.”

Nate snorted, “After you Baylor.”

——–

A knock at the door pulled Blake from his near dozing. He straightened in his chair; Everyone was in Hybern, Cyrian was in his room; Blake sent out his shadows, feeling a female presence or Roses and Rain: Dacia.

Where the hell had she been while his world went to hell?

Pulling his feet from the bed, Blake ran a hand through his hair before opening the door. “What are you doing here, Princess? Don’t you have a Court to run? Females to fuck?” He snapped, his voice scratched, misused from speaking a mere handful of words since bringing Cyrian home.

Her eyes flashed. She brought his face down to hers, studying it, before pulling him into a tight hug. His arms went instantly around her as he rested his forehead on her shoulder. She sighed forcefully, “I’m sorry, Blake. So very sorry.” A heartbeat. Two. Her tone turned to ice, ever the High Lady. “I know you are hurting but you are to never speak to me like that again. I am your friend.” He winced.

Pulling away from her, he muttered an apology. With a wave of dismissal, The High Lady of the Spring Court pushed past him and sat on his bed, looking to Aurora before giving him a hard look, “What are the healers saying?”

“Her body is completely healed, she’s keeping herself in the coma. At least, that’s their understanding.” He had pleaded with her, tried using the bond to rouse her, but nothing worked. She just stayed Sleeping.

Looking back to Aurora, Dacia curled his mate’s hair behind her ear. “My father is saying he can help Thesan, that he knows people in Cretea that can help him.”

Blake snarled at the name. “I don’t give a shit about him. He can burn for all I care.” He’d light the match himself.

Dacia stood then and rose her chin. Her voice was harsh, but not unkind, “You should, Blake Verrum. You should, that male may very well be the one who brings her home to you.” Her words dropped like stones in his stomach, twisting his heart, choking him.

“You mean to tell me,” Blake’s voice was so guttural he could barely make out his own words, “That my mate’s life rests in the hands of the male that put her in a coma to begin with?”

Gripping his arm, Dacia cemented Blake to her. “Swear to me you will not go to the Dawn Court.” He was met with heavy resistance as he tried pulling his arm back. Her fingers gripped him harder, with a bruising force. “Swear it.”

“I swear it,” he bit out. “I won’t leave.”

She gave him a considering look before letting go of him. Her eyes fell to the bruise on his arm and something like fear rested in them before she met his again. “Sorry.”

Rolling his eyes, Blake left Dacia with Aurora. Finding himself in the living area, grief and rage and pain flooded through him and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do.

His fist connected to the wall, his knuckles hitting plaster. He pulled back and punched again and again, his knuckles going through the plaster to the brick, shaking the entire house. Blood roared in his ears and he punched again. He welcomed the tearing of his skin, the blood seeping down his fingers, the crunch of bone meeting brick.

“Blake!”

He punched again and again and again before his hand was caught and he twisted, ready to hit, but stopped short before he hit Dacia in the face. Blake tried pulling his arms out of her grip. “Cia, let me go.”

“No,” She said, chin raised, tears staining her cheeks.

“Dacia, let me go!” His growl bored on hysteria. “Let me go!”

Pulling him closer, her arms went around him. Using her strength, she prevented him from lashing out further. “Blake, please, you need to stop. This won’t help Aurora.”

His mate’s name brought him back from the brink, from wherever his mind wanted to go. He took a shuddering breath and rested his forehead on her shoulder. He barely registered Cyrian’s presence the entire time, cool and assessing; watching him have a complete breakdown. He didn’t give a fuck, let him think whatever he wanted.

Dacia pulled apart from him, with a wave of a hand she glamoured the wall before she looked at his ruined hand and frowned. Taking his other hand, she led him to the wash room and gathered bandages. Pointing to the toilet, she said, “Sit.”

He did as she said. “Why not just heal it?” He asked flatly.

She looked back at him with a frown, “The pain will teach you to not destroy your parents’ home.” She got to her knees, taking his hand in hers, assessing the damage before gingerly wrapping it in bandages. “Little boys who throw fits do not get fancy healing.”

He scoffed, flexing his fingers before looking down at her. “How did you even get in here, Dacia? Who let you in?”

“That male,” she said, standing. “Cyrian.” Putting his face in her hands, she had him look up at her. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here for you the past few weeks. But I’m here now. What can I do?” It was then he noticed the dark circles lining her eyes. She had been busy. Sometimes he forgot she was a High Lady.

He stood, pulling her hands down from his face and looked towards his room. “You ever think what would happen if we had listened to Bay when the Suriel said just you and him?” He looked back at her. “What if by not listening to it, what if this is my fault? Aurora would not have known me if I didn’t go with you. She wouldn’t be in a coma. This is my fault, all of this is my fault.”

“No,” She said savagely. “Don’t you dare. This is no one’s fault.”

“How do you know?”

———–

[Later]

Flipping a page in his book, Bay ignored the knock at his door, knowing it wasn’t Cassian. A knock sounded again and again, getting more irritating with each beat. Rubbing his temples, Bay snapped, “What?”

“Let me in or you lose the door.”

Biting back his irritation, Bay sat the book on the couch before striding across the room to open the door. Leaning against the wall in a wine colored, gold stitched tunic, his brother gave him a lazy grin that didn’t meet his weary eyes.

“What the hell do you want, Ash?” He just wanted this day over with.

Ash pushed off the wall.”You’re coming with me.”

“No.” Ash just gazed at him in silence. Bay sighed, “Where?”

“Out.”

———–

Eyes resting on the booth across the room, Bay could almost feel the soft leather-backed seat that occupied a group of friends. His eyes snagging on the dark-haired male, Bay turned back in his seat, downing the closest shot to him, trying to block the memory already forming in his mind.

——-

His hand had pressed into the soft leather as he straddled Nate’s lap, pressing into him, his lips going to the delicate point Nate’s cuffed ear. Dacia had shot them an amused look, sipping from her glass of faewine, not saying a word.

“Nathaniel,” he had whispered, his hand resting on Nate’s abdomen, the lean muscle’s heat had shot warmth into Bay’s arm despite the shirt separating the skin from his hand. Bay had frowned, irritated at the material separating him from what he wanted.

Nate had gripped Bay’s thigh, and had laughed, “Yes?”

He had nipped his ear, “I love you.”

——–

Bay’s heart picked up, his pulse elevating. Perhaps he shouldn’t have brought Bay here, to this bar, where there was so much history between them all. The last time, Bay had gotten this drunk he nearly had his hand down Nate’s pants before his cousin winnowed them the fuck away from him and his heightened senses.

Ash downed the next shot and leaned into the bar, sliding the next one in front of Bay. He felt Bay look at him and pick up the glass, down it and slide it back. Ash clicked his tongue, “It’s been two months, you know.”

He felt Bay’s eyes focus on him, heard the thrum of Bay’s fingers on the bar. His brother sighed, “Your point?”

Splaying his hands on the bar, Ash picked up the rich texture of the wood, smoothed fine as silk. The scent of walnut and lemon filled his nose, his hand going to the line of shot glasses, to the nearest he could down. He welcomed the light burn down his throat. “You want my philosophy?”

Bay snorted. “No.”

“Too bad.” Ash leaned towards Bay and whispered, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Bay needed to move on if he wasn’t going to be with Nate. Nate needed to move on too. When he mentioned it to Dacia, she had just told him to mind his own business. Bay and Nate both were hurting, he was not going to just ‘mind his own business.’

“You’re an idiot,” Bay said, wearily.

———

He had barely registered Aurora leaning into the table, taking a drink from her glass, watching them with a smile; He was too interested in Nate’s smile. Blake had gripped her chin, drawing her attention from them and into a brutal kiss, her arms going around his neck, pulling him down into her. She had laughed.

Nate had kissed his jaw; his thumb had traced lazy circles into Bay’s thigh, it had sent a tremor through him. He had been perfectly content to sit there and kiss Nate to death. He had laced his fingers behind Nate’s neck and leaned back, meeting Nate’s eyes with a hooded smile before looking to Nate’s lips. To that lip ring.

Nate’s smile had grew, “I love you too, Baylor.”

Ash had groaned. Without looking, he had given Ash a rude gesture before he put his lips on Nate’s, sucking on his lip ring, his hands moving to Nate’s chest. Ash had sighed, “Cauldron boil me, I may be blind but this image is seared into my head.”

Nate had pulled from his kiss and looked at his cousin, “You’re just pissed you aren’t getting laid.” Resting his forehead against Nate’s shoulder, Bay had snorted before moving his lips to Nate’s jaw.

“We need to get Bay drunk more often.” That had been Maze, her voice little more than a whisper to the feel of Nate beneath him.

————

Head swimming, Bay leaned into the bar, taking in another shot. Ash’s gaze sliding past him, Bay turned to see a female with rich dark skin and pretty eyes looking at his brother. Turning back around, Bay felt Ash’s gaze go back to him. “We both need to let go, Brother. Especially today.”

His chest hollowed out and Bay just shrugged. “I don’t-”

Clasping his shoulder, Ash met his gaze. “Bay. It’s just sex.” He looked down. Ash sighed. “How do you expect to move on if you can’t let go?” He looked up, meeting his brother’s gaze. For once in his life, Ash was being perfectly serious. “Let go, Bay.” His ear twitching, Ash grinned, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

His eyes following Ash slide from his stool, Bay watched him stride towards the female with the pretty eyes. Turning back to his seat, he noticed someone had slid into Ash’s seat. The male from the booth. He looked at Bay with dark eyes and a lazy smile. Bay returned it.

———-

[The Next Night]

The pleasure hall swelled with laughter and music, it didn’t help with the hole in Nate’s chest. Neither did the amount of alcohol he had consumed. Neither did the fact Baylor had been with another male. He really hated his shadows, sometimes. He needed his own distraction.

Taking a drink, Nate gazed at Kapriel, “Your mother still want me dead?”

Resting an arm across the back of the booth, Kapriel sighed and took a long drink from his own mug before answering. “Yup.”

Of course, she did, the bigoted priestess could choke on it. Leaning forward, Nate rested his elbows on the table before resting his chin and the palm of his tattooed hand. “You still want to kill me?”

Leaning forward, Kapriel rested an arm on the table, his upturned eyes gleamed. “You and I both know I didn’t want to kill you.”

Shadows twisting around him, Nate tilted his head. “She still giving you hell?”

Running a hand through his midnight hair, Kapriel shrugged half-heartedly. Nate leaned back, resting his elbows on the back of the booth. “Want to piss her off?” Kapriel rose a brow.

Nate gave him a lazy grin. Kapriel returned it.

——

Moving through the shadows, Azriel took in the blood and carnage left in a violent wake; the walls and floor painted a red so thick it was near black. Mouths gaped, bodies decapitated; but what caught his attention was the bloody message defiling Rhys’s throne. CYRIAN.

Ice slid through his veins, making its way to his heart. This, this was a declaration of war, of a female who wanted her son back, one who was ready to kill whoever stood in her way to achieve her goal. But this, it also had the stench of Demeytria all over it. He needed to keep both Cyrian and Maze safe.

He also needed their help, his heart shuttered at the thought of putting them at risk. Shutting out the thought, he winnowed home.

——

Sitting at the counter, Cyrian watched Maze come from Adrien’s room, her mate in tow. Maze slid past him silently, sitting at the counter, her arms around her. Adrien sat next to her, his shadows twisting around him, eyes ice.

Cyrian’s gaze slid to the Spy Master, whose face was cold as death.

Resting his scarred hands on the back of a chair, Azriel’s gaze slid to meet his, unreadable. “Atropine left you a message.”

He just crossed his ankles. “And what was it?”

“Just your name,” Azriel said. “And a massacre.”

He laughed. “Of course, she did. You took her only child away from her. Let me go home and maybe she’ll stop.”

Another voice sounded before Azriel could respond. “No.”

Raising a brow, Cyrian slid his gaze to the voice. Adrien met him with a cool gaze despite the tic working in his jaw. “We got you out for a reason. You aren’t going back.”

His gaze slid to Maze, her eyes already on him. She shook her head. He rolled his eyes, of course she agreed with him.

Azriel turned to Maze, “Your mother is involved.” Adrien’s eyes flashed, his knuckles clenching as Maze flinched at her mother’s name. Apparently, the Spy Master knew who birthed Maze and kept it from his son. “I need you to tell me everything you know about her.”

———

Maze felt her heart jump to her throat and she looked down at her hands on the counter. They were trembling. She breathed through her nose, but she couldn’t let out the breath. Her fingers were trembling and Maze looked up, giving Cyrian a pleading look.

Cyrian readjusted himself in his chair, holding his side, and he looked over at Azriel. His other hand reached out, placing his fingertips a few inches away from hers and Maze focused on them instead of her mother. “She doesn’t know anything,” Cyrian said calmly, grabbing an apple and flipping it in his hand.

“And I suppose you do?” Azriel said tightly and Cyrian shrugged, biting into the apple.

“No more than you do, Spymaster. Aren’t you supposed to be good at getting information?” Cyrian leaned forward, chewing slowly, licking his lips. “Her name is Demeytria” Cyrian said, offering no help.

But Adrien froze, looking over at Maze. Maze sucked in a long breath, looking up and meeting Adrien’s gaze. “He was protecting you from your mother?” Adrien asked incredulously, and Maze nodded, her hands sweating. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Adrien whispered.

“She’s a mass murderer, Adrien, but I’m told she has her redeeming qualities,” Cyrian smirked around his apple, biting into it again. “She’s made threats on lives and she hasn’t yet failed to pull through. She has the High Lord trembling, doesn’t she? The mere whisper of her name flying through the wind.”

Azriel clenched his jaw.

“Cyrian,” Maze pleaded, looking up at him. Cyrian’s eyes hardened and he groaned, slumping forward slightly. He braced his forearms on the counter.

“Do you want her to be stopped?” Cyrian asked. Maze swallowed and she nodded, moving her arms so she could hug herself. She couldn’t meet Adrien’s eyes, or Azriel’s. She couldn’t even look at Cyrian. This was her mother. A thousand times worse than her father. Ten times worse than Cyrian’s mother depending on who you asked. This was her fault. This was her fault. This was her-

“I know a person,” Cyrian said finally.

“Will they help?” Azriel asked.

“Who said she would help?” Cyrian asked, rolling his eyes so hard they looked ready to fall out of his head.

“I don’t understand,” Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed and Cyrian rolled his eyes again.

“I didn’t stutter,” Cyrian shot back, biting into his apple again. He rolled his shoulders back, a wince passing over his face from the injuries his father had given him. Cyrian’s hand snaked down, holding his side, before he looked back at the Shadowsinger. “I can’t guarantee she’ll help us. Especially not you. But I can guarantee she won’t kill us on sight, unlike everyone else. That work for you, Spymaster?”

“Don’t take long,” Was Azriel’s only reply.

“We’ll take however long it takes,” Cyrian got up, and Maze followed him. She went over to Adrien’s side, reaching her hand out to grab his. Adrien slid away from her slightly and she looked down at the empty space between them, her hand still out.

If Cyrian noticed he didn’t say anything so Maze took his hand silently and she caught Azriel’s gaze as Cyrian pulled them into his shadows. Maze recognized the emotion in the Shadowsinger’s eyes. She didn’t like it.

——

As soon as Cyrian’s shadows disappeared the trio witnessed the chaos. Cyrian let go of their hands immediately, wiping his hands on his trousers. A disgusted look passed over his face and he stepped forward, looking over the balcony. He balanced his elbows on the surface.

“What the hell is happening?” Maze asked, standing between him in Adrien at an angle where she could keep both of them in sight. Maze peered over the ledge, watching shadows curl around each other, the Hewn City being ransacked.

“My mother joined yours. They joined Thanatos. An unholy trio of massacres.” There was a glint to Cyrian’s voice and he sighed, watching as someone was thrown out of their house. He turned around.

“So where’s your friend?” Adrien asked. Cyrian ignored the drawl to Adrien’s voice and he shrugged.

“How should I know?” asked Cyrian, eyebrows raised. Adrien grunted, rolling his eyes.

Someone slipped out of the shadows and slice their knife across Adrien’s cheek. Adrien swung around and Cyrian steered Maze back, jutting his arm out, trying to shove one of Thanatos’s men away.

The male ducked, throwing his knife at Cyrian. Cyrian tilted to the side, catching it, snarling heavily. “You’re going to regret that,” He started forward but someone else fell from one of the upper levels as if she had been waiting and wrapped her legs around the male’s waist.

Her hair flung around in waves as both of them bucked and kicked, only the male grunting. The female had a serene look on her face as she slammed her forehead against his again and again and again until the male sunk to the ground.

The female let his body go and she climbed off, her breathing shallow. Cyrian grinned and Alvarez scowled, looking him over, head to toe and back again. Her eyes lingered in places. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead or worse?” Her hands flew through her hair, braiding it off.

“I’m unbreakable, Alvarez,” Cyrian said. Alvarez scowled again, her eyebrows pinching and she looked down at the male. Bending down, she pressed her two fingers against his neck, rubbing her forehead, before looking back at Adrien.

“He shouldn’t be here. It’s dangerous. Anyone loyal to the High Lord dies or joins the winning team,” Alvarez got up, pushing the male aside with her foot. She looked at Adrien again, a smirk pulling at her lips. “You owe me a life’s debt, Shadowsinger’s son. This way.”

She gestured them forward and Cyrian fell in line behind her. He looked back, raising his eyebrows at Maze and Adrien. He gave them an impatient look then kept following Alvarez. Maze looked over at Adrien and stepped forward. “Adrien-”

“Don’t touch me, Mazakynn.” Adrien said, following after Cyrian and Alvarez. Maze frowned and she hugged her sides and she followed, keeping her head down, her hair covering her face. The face that matched Demeytria’s almost perfectly. 

—

Alvarez was silent. A silence Maze found more than creepy. Her feet were only covered in slippers and she wore light trousers and a vest that left her midriff exposed. She kept looking at Cyrian, but didn’t say anything. Cyrian wasn’t saying anything, asking anything, as if he knew something she didn’t.

Maze growled and she snapped in Alvarez’s face, causing the female to slowly turn to face her. “Rez,” Cyrian said warningly and Alvarez dragged her eyes over Maze, her eyebrows raising but her lips stayed shut. “You won’t help us.” It wasn’t a question, so Alvarez didn’t answer.

Cyrian sighed, rubbing his temples furiously, shaking his head. “Tell us what this is about.”

“You’re on the wrong side, Cy,” Alvarez said, crossing her arms. Her head just barely reached Cyrian’s shoulders, but she stared up at the male that had most Fae running for the hills. Maze looked between them, before tapping her wrist in emphasis.

“Tell us what you know, Rez. Come on. Do me a favor.”

“Like you did me one? You left me out to dry, Cy, because you sold yourself to your father for her.” Alvarez gestured to Maze, scowling deeply. Cyrian took a small step back, clenching his fists at his sides.

“How did you know that?” Cyrian whispered.

Alvarez tapped her temple, beside her eye, before continuing, “I needed you and you understood why. So why the hell would you flake on me like that? Don’t you get how important this is to me?”

Cyrian dragged his hand down his face. Alvarez sucked her teeth and shook her head. “Don’t even bother saying anything, Cyrian. The Spymaster’s son is going to help me,” She shot Adrien a look, raising her eyebrow, “And if he doesn’t, I’ll be happy to wake up Thanatos’s boy and let him finish the job.”

“Adrien is yours. Demeytria’s killings are random. Why is she suddenly calculated? Why has Thanatos joined her? What about the Darkbringers? What about…my mother, Rez.”

Alvarez blew out a breath, looking between Adrien and Maze. Her thick hair was in two long braids, one on each side of her head. Her skin was a shade darker than Cyrian’s and white scars laced her knuckles. And Cyrian knew two long, thick ones marred her back for the rest of her life.

“It’s for the Illyrians. Demeytria wanted this entire place, but too many of the girls are scared here. Scared of…the dark and tight spaces,” Alvarez swallowed and Cyrian clenched his fist again. “Thanatos and his men plus the Darkbringers want to take down the High Lord, selfish bastards. Demeytria is fighting for us, Cy. So get out the way.”

“She can’t save every female in every war camp.”

“That’s not what I said and that’s not what you asked,” Alvarez pointed a finger in his face, before pointing at Maze. “She’s heard about her, you know. She heard that Dominic beat her. I suppose she’ll want to thank you in person for killing him. The females in his war camp will be saved. And the females in yours will be too, now that your mother has joined us.”

“My father?” Cyrian whispered.

“He’s as good as dead. And don’t you dare try to save him. Your father is a horrible excuse for an Illyrian and he’s going to die in his own filth.” Cyrian’s throat bobbed and Alvarez pulled her shoulders back, running her hands down her braids, tugging gently. “Sorry.”

Cyrian ignored her apology.

“Demeytria doesn’t want the Hewn City so what does she want?” Cyrian asked. Alvarez shook her head and Cyrian grabbed her chin, causing her eyes to narrow, but he ignored her. “Tell me, Rez. What does she want. I can help get it to her.”

“Cyrian,” Maze warned, reaching out for him. Cyrian moved his arm away, keeping his eyes on Alvarez. But he looked over at her, trying to tell her to trust him without saying it. Alvarez watched and she gripped Cyrian’s wrist, twisting it back until he let go of her.

“You don’t put your hands on me.” Alvarez said, before pausing and adding, “Hybern.” Alvarez dropped her voice. “Go home to your mother, Cy. She misses you. Demeytria wishes to see you, too.” Both Cyrian and Maze cringed.

—

Adrien answered instead. “Atropine is a bitch and she abuses her own son. She tortures him then sold him to his father. The one you hate, remember? He’s not going back to her. And Maze is not going to her mother. Ever. Pass along that message.”

Alvarez looked at Adrien. She waved Cyrian and Maze off, “Go. Before your mothers find you. He comes with me.” Alvarez spun around, walking. She didn’t look back, her steps silent. Maze swallowed tightly and she looked to Cyrian, question in her eyes.

“She won’t kill him. That would defeat the purpose of saving him,” Cyrian nodded to Adrien. Adrien rubbed his hands together before he took a quick breath and followed after Alvarez, his footsteps a lot louder than hers.

“Alvarez,” Cyrian called after her. Alvarez turned around, walking backwards. Cyrian sucked his teeth and he dragged his hand down his face, scratching the back of his neck. Alvarez watched, even as he rubbed the base of his throat, swallowing. “Forgive me.” Cyrian bit his lip, licking it.

Alvarez licked her own lips, a smile blooming on her face. “Already forgotten.” She turned around, walking away with Adrien. Cyrian pressed his fingers to his forehead and then he took Maze’s hand slowly. He looked down at their hands before linking their fingers even slower, then he winnowed away, his shadows wrapping around the both of them.

—–

Adrien followed after her, his eyes darting from her silent feet to the carnage around them, before resting on her back, where wings should have been. Something had happened to this girl and she survived it, the loss of her wings; an Illyrian’s greatest joy. A phantom pain sluiced through his own, at the memory of Ezekiel’s dead eyes and the shredding agony. At the memory of almost breaking.

“What exactly do you need me for,” Adrien asked, stepping around a fallen female, her head nearly severed from her neck. This girl was skilled, what use would she need of him?

She stopped, pulling him against the wall before peering over the side. She looked back at him, pushing one of her braids behind her. “You’re a Shadowsinger, Adrien. You’re going to give me a lift.”

A couple of males came around the corner and Alvarez twisted around them both, her elbows striking throats, before knocking their heads together, rendering them unconscious, and dropping them to the ground. Adrien’s eyebrows rose slowly as she stood and turned back to him and grinned, “You’re taking me to Sodem.”

“That’s-“ One of the worst camps. Almost as bad as the one Zev was from, but still, cold and brutal and horrid. His blades felt heavier in his pockets, his hands almost went to them on instinct alone. “Why?”

She sighed through her nose, holding out a scar-flecked hand to him. He waited for an answer before taking it. Her brows inched together and she rose her chin. “I need to kill and then save someone from a fate similar to mine.”

Her wings. Without hesitation, Adrien took her hand, pulling her closer before winnowing, his darkness wrapping around them both, leaving the carnage of the Hewn City to the corruption of the war camp, Sodem.


	54. Chapter 54

*Alvarez gripped Adrien’s arm before he could pull back his shadows. She pressed her other hand over his mouth, cringing at the warmth of his breath. She watched as the camp lord swaggered towards his room. Alvarez tugged Adrien forward. Walking in his shadows was different than walking in Cyrian’s. She pressed Adrien’s back against the wall, pressing her shoulder against his chest as the camp lord closed the door to his room.

“Stay,” She said to the Shadowsinger’s son without looking back as she slipped out of his shadows in a fluid motion, her blade already gripped in her hand. Her feet pressed against the ground, not making a sound. A smile pulled at her lips, the mere thought of this prick lord dying had her bones tingling.

He deserved it. Deserved what was coming for him. She was glad she was the one who brought his demise to his doorstep. She stopped at the door, listening to the talking on the other side. Vaida. Alvarez’s breath hitched, just once, and she gripped the blade harder.

“Mosam, please, don’t touch me,” Vaida whispered. Alvarez forced herself to stay calm, to keep her blood from boiling. She heard shuffling, thumping, and a shriek. Her normally calm, cool, and collected self flew out the window as she slammed her shoulder against the door, stalking into the room.

Vaida was on the ground, her arm outstretched, a letter opener clenched in her hand. Blood ran down her dark brown cheek. Alvarez silently crept forward then pounced onto the camp lord’s back. She liked the leverage it gave her. Being taller than her victim or her attacker. But it was going against her plan. Too much noise.

Her hand clamped on the male’s mouth, digging her elbow into his wing like Cyrian had taught her once. She had no desire to learn how to rip wings off… it nearly sent her vomiting when Cyrian had told her what his mother had taught him to do. In fact, she was sure she did vomit. But this lord did not deserve her sympathy, so she jammed her elbow harder against the membrane.

Don’t talk. Don’t stay long. Don’t don’t don’t. That was what Demeytria taught her. And above all, don’t let your feelings take over. But this camp lord… he was the embodiment of the others. The others who abused females, took everything from them. Took everything from her. But that didn’t matter - couldn’t matter.

So she brought her blade up and sliced across his throat, gripping the male’s hair, tugging his head back. She had once joked with Cyrian that the only reason they were friends was because of their similar hidden love of music and their shared bloodlust.

He agreed.

So Alvarez sliced again. And again. And again. Then she sent the head rolling. Decapitation. Messy and brutal, but necessary. People would talk if the camp lord had been stabbed. That tactic was too much like an afraid female or a jealous male. But a decapitated head? You might as well have left a signed note from Atropine and Demeytria pinned to his body.

Alvarez didn’t want to work with Atropine. The woman that had done those things to Cyrian. She shouldn’t have brought her up to him. That was a mistake. She could see what she had done wrong; she saw it in his eyes. She would make it right. Alvarez hurdle jumped off the body as it fell to the ground.

Vaida was waiting in the hallway, the letter opener still in her hand. “How did you get here?” She asked. Adrien. That little worm. Alvarez would cut off his fingers and make him eat them. She growled and grabbed Vaida’s hand, walking through the house. Slowly, silently. She couldn’t believe that little rat.

“Unimportant” And that was the end of the discussion. Neither female dared to talk too loud. They walked slowly, bending to the shadows, knocking out males who got in the way. They would wake up by the time they were gone. Hopefully a feud broke out between them, arguing which of them had killed their camp lord. It was why they both silently agreed to keep a few males conscious.

Alvarez and Vaida made it out of the house in good time. Adrien. Where was Adrien. Two females walking through Sodem alone was bad. Even two of Demeytria’s girls. Alvarez decided that after Adrien ate his fingers, he would be eating his toes too.

Alvarez gestured to Vaida and she nodded, following her friend quietly. Alvarez didn’t miss the looks Vaida sent her. She didn’t have her wings. Vaida’s were clipped. Hidden beneath that long cloak she wore. Vaida sometimes said she wished she didn’t have them since the weight of them a constant reminder that she couldn’t fly. Alvarez had snapped at her so sharply that Vaida had never uttered those words again.

Flying was not an option.

They were stuck and royally screwed.

Maybe she could somehow get Adrien to eat his tongue, because one she found that Shadowsinger’s son-

Alvarez spotted Adrien and a female. The urge to grab her blade and start hacking at his limbs was hard to control. She could sense the female’s first bleeding from where she was. She was not shocked. She knew it would happen. That this female would get her wings clipped.

But she had a purpose to be here and it wasn’t to save this female. Alvarez took Vaida’s hand and she walked over to Adrien, ready to give the Shadowsinger a piece of her mind.

———

Struggling against three males, a female bucked, her nails clawing at them, tears running down her olive cheeks. “Please,” She screamed. “Please.”

He moved.

Adrien’s siphons flashed blue, blasting the male meant to clip her wings into the mud. He broke the male’s jaw, rending him unconscious before moving onto the two holding her down. Striking their throats, Adrien dropped them to the ground in a few maneuvers. Taking a ragged breath, Adrien tried helping the female up.

She shuffled backwards away from him, her eyes going to the blades at his sides, to the shadows twisting around him before resting on his bloody hands. “Stay away from me.”

He held up his hands and stepped back, his eyes darting around them, checking for interference before resting on hers. “I won’t hurt you.” She swallowed and stepped back and he scented the blood running down her legs. Her first bleeding. “I can help you.”

“I don’t believe you,” she hissed.

Of course not, he was a male and this place was a hell-hole. He lowered his hands to his sides and stepped further back. “I’m from Velaris.” Her eyes brightened at the mention of the City of Starlight. “I can take you there, get you away from this place. For however long you like.”

Her lips wobbled and throat bobbed before wrapping her arms around herself. His shadows picked up pure terror from her and he sighed, what he would give to burn this place to the ground. “I swear it,” he said. “I won’t hurt you and I’ll take you straight to the priestesses in Velaris.”

Indecision warred on her face but she stopped shaking. He still didn’t step forward, nor did he remove his weapons. Not in this place, he needed them. He showed the palms of his hands, “My name is Adrien Verrum. My mother is the Morrigan. You know Truth is her magic.” Her magic ran in his veins, however recessive it was, he knew lies when he saw them, he felt them in his blood. He made a point to never lie, not when he could help it. “Let me help you.”

Her eyes went past him and widened. He palmed two blades before even turning. A set of males were coming and there was still no sign of Alvarez. He blocked their path of the female and said, “Leave.”

The first male smiled, “The lady belongs to us.”

Adrien tightened his grip on the blades as disgust roiled through him. “The lady belongs to herself.”

“She is our sister,” the second male said. “It’s as my brother said. She belongs to us.”

“No,” she whispered, her feet shuffling backwards, falling into the mud, her terror was rising. He didn’t dare glance back at her, not with the brutality etched on these males’ faces. He squared his shoulders, if he left this girl alone, they would clip her wings as soon as he left. Which was exactly why he wasn’t leaving.

“If you want your lives, I suggest you leave her alone.”

They exchanged looks and Adrien moved. His elbows striking throats before knocking their heads together. A sharp pain went through his side but he brought the bothers to the ground. He had them pinned down by their throats and without looking back, he asked, “Do you want them dead?”

“Y- Yes.” She stammered out. That was the only permission he needed before snapping their necks. He stood, wincing, his hand at his side. She had stood, mud covering her skirt, and arms. Her eyes went to his side and she lowered her hands from her mouth. “You’re bleeding.”

He looked down at his side, at the blood spilling past his fingers and inhaled sharply, blocking out the pain. One of their blades got to him. Shit. “I’ll be fine.” He looked back to her. “What’s your name?”

“Miko.”

Before he could respond, his shadows picked up two females. He turned to find Alvarez and another female ushering their way to him, slinking through shadows, covered in blood. It would seem her mission was a success.

——–

“You were-“

His shadows reached out and Adrien pushed Alvarez against the barrack wall, a hand over her mouth. Her eyes blazed and he held a finger to his lips. Pulling his shadows around the other two females, Adrien slowly removed his hand and motioned her to grab her friend. With a hand on Miko and another on Alvarez, he winnowed the girls to Velaris.

——–

Alvarez’s teeth crunched down onto his hand, breaking the skin. He pulled back his hand, grimacing at the bloody teeth tracks. “There were males coming. A lot of them.” he said, his eyes scanning the alleyway around them. He looked back down at her as she wiped his blood from her lips, her dark eyes glowing. “Your mouth would have gotten us caught.”

“You were supposed to stay,” She growled, curling her fingers in his shirt, pushing him against the side of the building, aggravating the wound at his side, causing him to wince. He glared at her. With bright eyes, her fingers dug in further, “Do you know what it’s like for a female in that camp? Do you? Your actions could have cost-”

“I am not a damned dog, you bitch.” Adrien said coldly, his hand going to the wound. “I am not a part of your crusade. I heard someone scream and I moved.” The pure terror in that scream… he could still hear it. He could still feel it.

“I’m sorry.“ Miko’s face paled, ushering backwards from them, her arms around herself, his shadows picking up guilt and confusion. Thank the Cauldron that terror had dimmed down to weariness.

Adrien glanced at her. “Not your fault.” He looked back to Alvarez, pushing her away. She silently fell back a step and he shoved off the wall and pointed at her. “You heard her, I know you did. You said you were helping someone from a similar fate to yours.” He nodded towards her friend, who gripped the letter opener tighter in her hand, glaring at him. “Was this girl just too important that you would just ignore Miko? That your precious Demeytria held her life more valuable?”

“I had orders,” She said coolly. “I couldn’t get emotionally involved.” He nearly blinked at the resolve in her eyes. She had her wings taken from her and she wouldn’t help because-

“Emotions are the point of everything. How can you just separate- ” He shook his all too light head. “I am a shadowsinger. I feel everything. I see and feel it all. I could not just leave her there. She was screaming for help.” Alvarez narrowed her eyes and Adrien clenched his jaw. “If it was Cyrian, if somehow the unbreakable broke, you wouldn’t have hesitated.” She blinked and Adrien crossed his arms. “Go on, tell me I’m wrong.” She rose her chin and said nothing. He was right. Scoffing, Adrien turned to Miko, the female’s eyes darting between him and Alvarez and her friend, his shadows picking up more confusion from her. “I’m taking you to the library. Let’s go.”

Adrien took the female’s mud-crusted hand into his bloody one. Before he could winnow, Alvarez brushed a braid over her shoulder and took her friend’s hand, her dark eyes bright and glaring at him, “We’re not done, you and I.”

Adrien glared back before rolling his eyes at her. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Adrien looked back to Alvarez and her friend, “Stay here. I’ll be back.” He didn’t wait for her reply and winnowed to the Library.

———–

He felt…horrible. No matter how much that male looked or acted like Nate, he just wasn’t him and now Bay felt even worse than before. This, he thought, is what I get for listening to Ash Archeron Vanserra.

Just looking at Nate after what he did, it felt like the upmost betrayal of his life; his chest hollowed out, a weight to his heart had him drowning in guilt and he deserved it. Biting back a sigh, Bay pulled out another volume from the stacks. If he was going to get anywhere with his feelings and Nate, he needed a clear head. The only way for that was to find his father and he prayed he would find him in these books.

Two people came in behind him and Bay flashed a glance before his gaze snagging on the wound on Adrien’s side. He turned fully and took in a very pale Adrien and a female, blood and mud covering them both. His nostrils flared, scenting the girl. He looked at her and she flinched back, shrinking behind Adrien. 

Adrien looked past him, scanning the stacks before turning to him, “Where’s Clotho?”

Before he could respond, the Priestess came forward wordlessly and took the female’s hand with a reassuring smile and looked to Adrien and raised her brows in question.

“She needs your help; will you help her?” Adrien asked. When the Priestess nodded, Adrien turned to the female, his hands resting on her shoulders, “You’ll be safe here. I swear it.”

Before Bay could ask, Adrien left. Shaking his head, Bay looked back to the shelf as the Clotho led the female away. His eyes scanned the books before snagging on a thick, bound book. A roster of camp lords, both past and present.

He pulled it from the shelf and added it to his pile.

——–

Adrien pressed a hand to the side of the building and groaned. Looking down at his side, the wound wasn’t healing as fast as it should, blood still spilled down his side. Faebane. If they weren’t already dead already, he’d break every bone in their body before killing them. Using Faebane on him, Adrien growled through his frustration.

Gritting his teeth, Adrien vanished his wings. He needed to staunch the blood, the extra weight of wings would make him bleed out faster, he needed to wait for this infernal poison to work its way out of his system. Wrapping darkness around himself, Adrien winnowed himself Alvarez.

———

Nate studied the amber liquid in his glass before looking up at her. The look on his face broke her heart. “I hate being a shadowsinger, Dacia. I know things I don’t want to know. I didn’t want to know about Baylor and that male, but I do.” Fluidly, she pulled away the bowl of fruit before he could throw one. “I want to feign ignorance and have my head in the sand but no.” Laying crossed arms on the counter, Nate dropped his head onto them with a ‘thud’ and sighed deeply.

She slid onto the stool bedside him, wrapping an arm him and resting her chin on his shoulder. She squeezed him. “Are you mad at him? That he hooked up with someone?”

“No,” he sighed, resting his cheek on his arm. “I’m not. He needed the distraction, he hasn’t been thinking clearly ever since we were in that room with Kier. He hasn’t left that night, I don’t think. He slaughtered those females that touched me.” Cauldron, how much has he had to drink; that he could start talking about-

She pulled his glass away from him and he sat back up and looked at her. No, he looked through her, his voice devoid of emotion. “I didn’t tell anyone, you know. I scrubbed myself raw, getting their scents off me, the taste of them out of my mouth. I wanted to kill them but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Keir broke me apart so I couldn’t. Not even with my healing. He had tied me down and I couldn’t defend myself and he enjoyed it.” He looked down at his scarred fingers, tracing a scar running down his index finger. “Ash knew enough, but not all. He knew that I was broken apart but…”

“Did my brother know about the females?” She growled. “Did he know?” If her brother knew about this-

“No, Dacia. He knew about the bones but that was it.”

“And he didn’t tell anyone?” She asked incredulously. She was going to give Ash a piece of her mind. If her brother had said something-

Nate looked through the window, dismissing her. His voice turned wondering. “Baylor somehow knew the extent, with just the names. I think, I think he broke each of those females slowly, he was covered in so much blood when I found him Cia, and he looked right through me.”

“He knew what they did to me and he slaughtered them and I’m fucking glad he did but he hasn’t come back. He’s thinking about those females and that impossible anger and the fact his father is just like them.” He took a shuddering breath, “He’s afraid.”

Dacia leaned back, resting an arm on the back her chair and twisted a lock of her golden hair. She understood where Bay was coming from. She had similar fears. A shadow of a wolf and angry high lord of a father and a mother that was so much worse. She kissed the top of Nate’s head, “I’m sorry, Sweetie.” She didn’t know what else to say.

He palmed his eyes, brushing back the tears from them harshly and wouldn’t look at her. “My mate and I are in love with each other and not together because of some promise to not break me. He’s looking for a way to find his father, to prove to himself he isn’t him.”

She took his face in her hands, wiping away tears with her thumbs. “What about you? Are you still in that room? With him?”

He looked at her through red-rimmed dark eyes and bit his lip. “Sometimes. But I don’t let the bad days win. It’s just- Today is a bad day.”

———-

Maze lifted Cyrain’s shirt, studying the bruise on his side before looking up to see him already looking at her. Lowering his shirt, she sighed, “Why won’t Mor heal you, Cy? Or Leta?”

“What’s the point?” He asked. “It’ll heal just fine on its own.” He laid back into the bed and pulled his hands behind his head. “Besides, I let the Morrigan heal the worst of it.” He slid her a glance. “I let someone help. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

She shook her head and sat on the desk chair across from him. She couldn’t loosen the knot in her chest. She looked at him, rubbing her forehead, “It’s what you needed.” He shrugged and she sighed, resting her head on the desk. “Everything is so fucked up. My mother wants Hybern, my mate is pissed at me-“

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

She looked at him then. He looked at her with raised brows, his arms behind his head. She ran a hand down her face and sighed. “Because he was healing and I didn’t want him to have that extra weight.”

He nodded, thinking. “Treat him like he’s breakable and he’ll stay that way. You should have told him; Mother knows he needs things drawn out for him.”

——–

Adrien found his mate and Cyrian in the bedroom. He rubbed his forehead with the heal of his hand, his eyes going to Maze. She looked from Cyrian to him, her eyes going to wound at his side, a growl tore through her. Pulling out bandages from the drawer, resting them on the desk. “I’ll be right back.”

Maze stalked through the bedroom door and Adrien sat in her chair, looking at the bandages. He’d roll them out, cut them into strips, but his hands were caked in blood and mud. Instead he looked at Cyrian, who was staring up at the bottom of the top bunk.

“Your friend is fine, by the way.”

It was almost imperceptible, the relaxation of Cyrian’s shoulders. He rolled his head towards him, his gaze almost bored, but not quite. “Where is she?”

“Living room.” Adrien leaned back into the chair, resting his head on the back of it. Adrien sighed through his nose, looking at his hand; he muttered, “She bit me.” 

Sitting up, Cyrian slid off the bed, leaving him alone in the bedroom. A million and one things swirled in his head. The first time he saw Maze, fighting on her own, learning by watching, her amber eyes assessing and her thoroughly kicking his ass. Her father raising his hand to her, him taking the hit before it struck her. Cyrian in the Blood Rite, coming with her, her in his shirt; Her lies protecting him and what he did to her. Dreaming and scenting her everywhere, thinking he was losing his mind. Him needing to keep her safe; her lies. The feel of each false word physically affecting him.

He leaned forward, wincing, putting his face in his hands and sighed deeply. His mother’s truth magic in his veins; his father’s shadows picking up every hidden emotion, and a mate who needs lies to survive.

“Adrien?” He looked up. Maze carried a steaming bowl and rags. She sat the bowl down on the desk and dipped the rags in it. She looked to the wound at his side and then to him. “Why isn’t it healing?”

He looked down at it and pursed his lips. “It is. Just slowly.” He looked back up at her and bit his lip. “It’s faebane.”

She blinked back surprise and pulled a steaming rag from the bowl and examined the wound more. “I thought it was destroyed in the war, that the Commander and the Queen destroyed their groves of it.”

She cleaned it and Adrien held back a hiss. He swallowed and tilted his head back, starring at the swirled ceiling. “I don’t know. Maybe they developed a way to grow their own.”

“Adrien?” He looked back at her. She pulled away the bloody rag and grabbed a clean one. She placed it at his side and met his eyes again before taking a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” he said. “I- I just..” He closed his eyes and swallowed. She brushed back his hair and he opened his eyes. “I love you. I have been in love with you for years and I have not once lied to you. Never.”

She sighed and pulled the bandages from the desk and handed them to him. “I know.”

“How long have you known? That we were mates?”

She studied him, looking for the accusation that wasn’t there. He was too drained to be angry with her right now. “When you threatened my father.”

He nodded. Before the Blood Rite. “I was perfectly healthy. You could have told me.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t.” she said. “It has been on the tip of my tongue for so long and I don’t know why I didn’t tell you.”

It was the truth. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “We can talk about it later. Why don’t you go make sure Cyrian and Alvarez and the girl she brought are okay?”

She kissed his cheek, “Okay.”

——-

*Alvarez slipped the apple out of Cyrian’s hand, grinning, and taking a bite. Cyrian grumbled and took it right back, his eyes narrowed on her as he finished the apple off. “Shouldn’t you be on your way back? You’ve saved your friend and you’re surrounded by enemies. Not exactly smart, Rez”

Vaida’s ears perked at the mention of her, but she continued to stare out of the window, taking in Velaris, even though she had a blade concealed on the underside of her forearm. Alvarez got up, ignoring the females and males that walked around the house, and she crossed her arms. “So where’s her body?”

Everyone went still. Cyrian. Vaida. Maze, who had just walked in. Adrien, who followed her. The Shadowsinger, who Alvarez had noticed in the shadows. She sensed the rest of the ones in the house froze at her words too. And if they didn’t, they froze at Cyrian’s snarl. “Watch it”

“Did she get a funeral?” Alvarez said, taking five quick steps backwards as Cyrian rose from his seat. Alvarez took him in, the way he slightly favored one side. Her fingers tapped against her thigh, as she danced out of Cyrian’s way, still poking at him. “Or did you just settle for revenge?”

“Fuck off,” Cyrian growled, stepping forward. “Don’t say-”

“Where is Tania Infernos buried, Cyrian?”

Alvarez’s hands flew up as Cyrian slammed her against the wall and she kicked at the air when Cyrian gripped her throat, lifting her off the floor. Vaida moved forward, but Alvarez shook her head, gripping Cyrian’s wrists, breathing as best as she could through her nose. “Where’s your mate, your wife? Have you grieved over her? Cried for her? Or was killing Malyus Batalis enough for you? Was his life worth hers?”

Alvarez’s head slammed against the wall as Cyrian threw her and she went crashing through it. She groaned, pulling herself out of the dent, her back aching. “Back off,” Alvarez said, glaring at the Shadowsinger’s second son. Her head swam, but Alvarez pulled herself to her feet and both she and Cyrian glared at everyone who tried to get in between them. Alvarez made note of the pregnant Morrigan.

“What was her life worth, Cyrian? I never met her,” Alvarez wiped her mouth, pulling herself to her feet. Cyrian’s eyes glowed and Alvarez took a step forward, but Cyrian grabbed her shoulder and threw her once more. To Alvarez’s credit she only grunted when she slammed through the wall again, creating another dent. For her brother, she would. She would push him over this dangerous edge. She would ruin this house and let Cyrian use her as a wrecking ball if her brother finally admitted he was broken.

Finally admitted he needed to heal, not hide the wounds.

Vaida helped her up, but she didn’t do anything to stop Cyrian. This was Devlon’s son. Unchecked rage. Alvarez blew out a breath, holding her side. “It’s okay to cry and grieve over her, Cyrian. She’s gone. She’s fucking dead and she’s not fucking coming back. And you can’t ignore that”

Cyrian moved, but Alvarez moved too. She slammed her hands against Cyrian’s chest, grabbing the collar of his shirt. Alvarez gripped on tight, but Cyrian pushed against her grasp, and she groaned, flipping them over and pinning him against the wall. “Fight back,” Alvarez commanded.

Cyrian grabbed her waist and flipped them over and blood shot out her mouth as Cyrian pushed her into the wall. But she beat her fists against Cyrian’s chest, moving him back, snarling, even as black creeped through her vision. “Fight back!”

Cyrian grabbed her arm and spun her around, locking her arms behind her back, and pushing her face into the wall. “Don’t make me hurt you,” Cyrian snarled in her ear, spreading his legs just in time as Alvarez kicked up, missing the spot she had tried to aim for. “I’m unbreakable”

“Let’s test that out, brother” Cyrian blinked. And he blinked again. He looked around - at the Shadowsinger, the Morrigan, the Commander, their children. His shoulders sank and Alvarez let out a breath, but she wasn’t done. “Were you unbreakable when your mother pulled you out from the dark?”

Cyrian gripped the back of her neck and Alvarez braced herself as she flew into a chair, flipping it over. She gasped, her nose running red into the carpet. “Were you unbreakable when she brought the whip down? When she carved into your skin?” Alvarez grabbed the chair, pushing it forward as Cyrian tried to get to her again. “When she drowned you, Cyrian! Was my brother unbreakable then?”

Alvarez pushed the sofa chair away, causing Adrien and Maze to jump back. She sat on her knees, looking up at Cyrian. “I broke. I broke when they took my wings out of my back. Vaida broke. She broke when they clipped her wings,” Alvarez lept to her feet, gripping the front of Cyrian’s shirt, looking up at him. “We’re broken. We’re so broken beneath who we pretend to be. The world broke us, Cyrian, but we are healing. We pick up the pieces together. What Vaida drops, I pick up for her. Let me pick you up”

Blood slid down her face from the gash on her eyebrow. “I broke when the High Lord forgot about my existence, Cyrian. I broke when I was left to die. I broke when-”

Cyrian fell to his knees.

He gripped the back of her knees.

He pressed his forehead against her shins and did the one thing he was always afraid to do.

Cyrian Infernos, Atropine’s son, cried.

—

*Silence.

Silence from Maze.

Silence from Adrien.

Silence from Vaida.

Silence from the Shadowsinger and the Morrigan.

Silence from the Commander and the Shadowsinger’s first son.

Silence from the High Lord.

Cyrian clinging to her knees was the only thing that kept her from running at Rhysand and ripping out his tongue, carving his wings from his back, sucking his power from his soul. One look from Alvarez kept Vaida from doing the same.

Cyrian panted, gripping the back of her knees tighter as his wings burst free from his back, as his body shook, fingers trembled, lungs squeezed in his chest. “F-Fuck you,” He sniffled, coughing slightly.

Alvarez wiped her face quickly and she cupped the back of Cyrian’s neck, brushing her fingers down one of his scars. “Where is she, Cyrian? Where is your wife?”

Cyrian’s mouth opened in a silent scream as more tears slid down his cheeks. His fingers dug into the back of her knees. “She burned her. My mother… she burned my mate” Alvarez gripped the back of Cyrian’s neck harder, her knees going weak. Vaida turned around, ducking her head into a waste bin. Maze gripped Adrien’s arm. “I wanted to bury her… I wanted to say something. Something stupid and fucking romantic. My mother burned her when I was in the Blood Rite. I didn’t get to say goodbye to her body”

Alvarez fell. Cyrian caught her. She caught him.

“What was the last thing you said to her?”

“I… I don’t remember”

“What was the last thing you felt when she was around?”

Cyrian rolled over and Alvarez rubbed his back. Vaida handed her the waste bin and Alvarez held back Cyrian’s hair as he heaved. His wings trembled and Alvarez covered her mouth, swallowing tightly at the sight of his scars. Vaida ran out of the room. “Love,” Cyrian choked out.

“Cy…” Maze whispered and Alvarez sent her a glare.

She saw the way Demeytria’s daughter looked at her brother. She saw the way Cyrian looked back.

She saw everything.

“Where’s your ring?” Alvarez asked, rubbing Cyrian’s back. He heaved again.

“I don’t know. My mother took it” Alvarez clenched her fist on Cyrian’s back, but went back to rubbing it. The Morrigan gripped Azriel’s arm tight enough to rip it off in her peripheral vision and the Commander looked away. Alvarez wanted to rip Atropine’s head off for taking the one thing Cyrian had left of the one person in his sick and twisted world he loved.

Cyrian clawed at his hair and Maze was by his side in a second, pinning his arms down. Alvarez looked up, nodding to Maze once, and she nodded back, before they both rolled Cyrian onto his side. Cyrian pulled his knees into his chest, and he cried harder.

His fingers dug into the floor.

“Cyrian…” Maze whispered.

“Are you broken?” Alvarez cut her off and Maze glared at her. Alvarez glared right back, holding Cyrian’s head in her lap. She brushed his hair away from the nape of his neck, tying it off, before stroking her fingers against his temple.

“Yes. I’m… I’m… I’m b-broken, Rez. She broke me, sister, she broke me”

“Who are you?” Alvarez asked, rubbing Cyrian’s stomach gently, bringing the bin back when he heaved once more. Maze looked away, but she rubbed Cyrian’s arms and his side. Alvarez didn’t stop her.

“Atropine’s son”

Everyone in the room cringed.

“Who are you, Cyrian?” asked Alvarez again. “You are not hers”

Cyrian paused. “Cyrian. Just Cyrian”

Alvarez kissed his temple gently and Cyrian finally opened his eyes. Fresh tears fell. His eyes were red and swollen. Cyrian cupped her cheek and brought her head down, kissing her forehead. “Your… friend and brother”

Alvarez hugged him, not caring who was watching. They didn’t matter. No one mattered but him in this moment. Cyrian looped one arm around her back, pulling her closer. He closed his eyes, but his body shook and fresh tears fell once again. “Stay with him,” Alvarez said, slipping out of Cyrian’s grasp, and helping Maze into it.

She gave a pointed look to Adrien, before turning to the High Lord, his Commander, and his Spymaster. “You,” she pointed at them, “Me,” she pointed at herself, “Now,” She gestured out of the room and didn’t look back as she stomped out of the room. If they didn’t follow she would go back and drag them by their wings.

—

*Alvarez would not cower in front of them. Each one larger than the last; deadlier and stronger than her. Rhysand could crush her mind. Cassian could crush her body. Azriel could crush her soul. Yet Alvarez straightened her spine, fixed her vest, and smoothed down her pants that were spotted with Cyrian’s tears.

“He’s not going back with me. He’s not going anywhere near his mother”

“Agreed,” Azriel said.

“Did I ask you?” Alvarez blinked, tilting her head to the side, her eyebrows raised. She flipped one of her braids over her shoulder, dismissing the Shadowsinger completely. “I don’t want him staying with either of you either. You could have saved him, but you didn’t. I don’t want to hear any political shit out of your mouth, Rhysand. I’m telling you the truth and you’re going to eat it. I’ll force feed you if I have to”

Cassian blew out a breath that might have been a laugh. Alvarez spun to him, narrowing her eyes. He stopped laughing. “Demeytria’s daughter stays here? Cyrian stays here. Demeytria’s daughter stays anywhere else? Cyrian stays with her. If I find out Cyrian is not with Mazakynn I will come back and I will rip out your tongues and shove them so far down your throats they come out your-”

“We get the picture,” Rhysand cut her off.

“Keep him safe. If you care about anyone else besides your family please keep my family safe while I can’t,” Alvarez crossed her arms around her chest. Azriel gave a slight nod and a weight was lifted off her shoulders. Cyrian would be okay. Eventually. With time, he would be okay, then he would finally live for the first time. 

“What about Mazakynn?” Azriel asked, reaching his arm out so Alvarez couldn’t leave the room. She wanted to bite it. She sighed and turned around, placing her hands on her hips.

“Cyrian did something to protect her. Atropine won’t so I will. Demeytria will find that it’s not in her best interest to get her daughter back from the devils. Not yet at least. You keep them happy and I’ll do my job”

“And what is that?” Rhysand asked and Alvarez smiled.

“Tearing down your empire”

Rhysand blinked, not knowing what to say. Azriel’s shadows stopped her from leaving the room and Alvarez grinded her teeth together, slowly turning back around to face them. She was getting tired of him doing that. “Cyrian told me you could help? He said you might be able to”

“Help?” Alvarez laughed, shaking her head. “Like you helped me? Like you help Illyrian females every day? Living in your beautiful city with your whole and healthy families? Centuries we have lived under your iron fist, Rhysand. And I am so tired of being afraid that I just won’t be anymore. You have Cyrian, but if you ever use him as a bargaining chip I’ll have your heads on pikes”

“Threatening us isn’t going to help you,” Cassian said, leaning against the wall, but Alvarez didn’t miss the way his fists clenched.

“Trust me, it’s helping me a lot. Demeytria will tell you her demands sooner or later. Why don’t you all sit back and look pretty until then”

With that Alvarez spun out of the room.

—-

*Cyrian had his back pressed against the wall, Maze tilting his head back slightly to pour water down his throat. He blinked, swallowing, wiping his mouth, before pushing Maze away gently. He felt numb. He knew his eyes were red. He had cried.

His mother…

His mother would lock him in that room for gods know how long.

She would carve into his skin with that ash blade of hers

Torture him with her salt water and iron chair. She would tie him up and pin his wings. She would -

Alvarez grabbed his face, shaking him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Cy,” Alvarez smiled, bending down to sit on her knees. She handed him a piece of cloth and in it was a bit of bread and crackers. “Eat this for me, please? Slowly and then sleep. I have to go now”

Cyrian’s eyes widened and Alvarez leaned forward, blocking everyone’s view of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing gently. “I miss you. I missed you every day, you know. After all this is over I swear we’ll be a good pair, okay? Ninety-five percent music-”

“Five percent blood lust,” Cyrian nodded, “We should change it so it’s the other way around.” There was definitely a small smile on his face. It fell after a few moments. “You’re going back to her”

“I have to and you know why. When we start over we’re starting over somewhere new. Together. Her, too, I guess. I’ll learned to like her or whatever. You take care of yours, big brother. Just take care of yourself until I get back”

“You’re gonna leave me with these people?” Cyrian rose an eyebrow, disgust already pulling at his features. Alvarez laughed and smacked a wet kiss on his cheek and Cyrian grumbled, but didn’t wipe it away.

“They aren’t so bad, I suppose. They’ll keep you safe. Or else they’ll be eating their tongues”

Cyrian squeezed Alvarez’s hand and Alvarez squeezed back. She kissed his forehead again and got up, turning to Maze. She gripped Demeytria’s daughter’s forearm, squeezing hard and hissing in her ear. “If you hurt him I will hunt you down to the ends of this earth and the next and make you eat your own heart”

Alvarez let go and she turned back to Cyrian. The world disappeared except the two of them. Cyrian nodded and he pressed his cheek against the wall, eating a cracker. Alvarez nodded back and she took Vaida’s hand, linking their fingers, and both females walked off with their hands swinging between them.

Cyrian Infernos did the second thing he was afraid to do.

Smile and never stop.


	55. Chapter 55

Bay splayed his fingers on the smooth wood of the bar, picking up the microgrooves in the surface. His heart shuddered, thinking back to exactly one year before and everything that had happened in the Blood Rite.

His lips felt heavy, thinking back to that first kiss with Nate. The taste of salt from his own tears and the warm of Nate’s mouth on his. He swallowed and picked up his drink and took a sip of the malty beverage, trying to get the scent of apples and Lavender out of his nose.

A female plopped down beside him and put her chin on the palm of her hand, her amber eyes looking directly at him. Bay didn’t look at her, he kept his gaze on the mirror behind the bar. “It’s rude to stare, Maze.”

“Why are you wearing armor?” She asked.

Bay shrugged. “Because I can.”

She snorted and leaned into the bar on her elbows. “So, it’s the first anniversary of the Blood Rite.” And the anniversary of getting together with Nate. Bay shut down the thought so violently, it made his head light. So, he took another drink.

Bay slid an amused look to his friend. “Oh really? I hadn’t noticed. Is that what this party was for?” Maze had forced him to come, under threat of castration. She elbowed him in the side and Bay tried to smile. It came of forced. “Why did I have to come? I’m busy.” He had found him. His father. And he was going to put a sword through his throat. After this stupid party.

A male sat down beside him, motioning to the bartender before casting his depthless eyes to him. Nate leaned on his elbow and gazed at him in silence. Bay turned to him and heard Maze get up to leave. Nate’s gaze was searching. “Where have you been?”

Bay’s eyes lifted from Nate’s lips to his unguarded gaze. He was close enough to see the individual lashes framing his eyes. “The library.”

Nate cocked a head, his hair spilling past his shoulders, curling at the ends. The amount of restraint it took to not touch Nate’s hair was tremendous so Bay clasped his hands together. Nate noticed, his lips quirked to the side. “Of course, you were.”

Nate’s drink came and he took a drink, his eyes still locked on Bay. He sat the glass down and bit his lip, sucking on his lip ring. Before Bay knew what he was doing, he pulled Nate’s lip out with near shaking fingers. “That’s my job.” He quickly retracted his hand and swallowed. “Sorry.”

Nate leaned forward and brushed his lips with his own and Bay was lost in the scent of apples and lavender. Bay’s eyes instantly closed and he let every thought evaporate from his head. His hand went to cup the back of Nate’s neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Bay snapped out of it and he pulled back, swallowing. Nate’s eyes fractured but recovered so quickly he thought he must have imagined the whole thing. “We can’t.”

“We could,” Nate said quietly. He wanted to touch Nate so badly. Needed to. Somewhere on a primal level, Bay had such a need to touch him that it choked the air from his lungs. “I miss you.” Bay’s heart fractured.

Bay closed his eyes and Nate’s mouth brushed his again, his hand rested on Bay’s thigh. His hand slid up and cupped the back of Bay’s neck and Bay felt tears prick behind his eyes. He swallowed thickly and slowly pulled back from Nate. “I can give you one night.”

Nate’s calloused thumb brushed Bay’s cheek, sending a shot of warmth through him. Nate’s gaze searched him and was filled with a quiet resolve. “One night and one morning.”

Bay nodded slowly and the leash on Nate snapped. He leaned forward, his lips crushing his own. Bay’s own leash snapped entirely and he pushed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Nate’s neck, pulling him closer to him, his arms going around the small of Bay’s back, trying to meld their bodies together.

——

Maze watched as Bay stood, leaning into Nate’s kiss. His fingers curled desperately into Nate’s shirt and he pulled him deeper into him. Nate cupped Bay’s face and pulled him closer in a desperate attempt to get closer to him.

Maze heart soared as Nate’s darkness wrapped around them both and they winnowed away. She looked to Adrien, who watched them too, his face carefully blank. “They’re getting back together,” Maze smiled.

Adrien slid his eyes to her and he took her hand, their calloused palms brushing against each other’s. He ran a lock of hair behind her ear and she could swear she saw pure heartache in his hazel gold eyes. “We need to talk.”

Maze could see a healing wound across Adrien’s shoulder and a healing bruise on his cheek. She frowned, searching the rest of him. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you all day.”

“We need to talk,” he said again.

“About what,” she said cautiously. “The bond?” He nodded wordlessly and she squeezed his hand. “Then let’s talk.”

Adrien pulled her close to him, his darkness wrapping around them both and he winnowed. They appeared in Adrien’s bedroom, in front of the window. The moon bled through it, casting light on Adrien’s face.

Adrien guided her to sit in the chair and he knelt in front of her, his hands rested on her thighs and he looked up at her. His eyes were unguarded and solemn. “I have been in love with you for so long, Maze. And I know you love me. And I’m not mad anymore, about you not telling me about the bond. But, we can’t be together.” No.

She shot forward, “Adrien, no. We’re mates. You…you’re not thinking clearly. I know what this day is for you. You almost lost your wings and- “Her voice caught. “I’m sorry for lying to you. I’m so sorry-“

Adrien touched her face, a tear sliding down his healing cheek. “Maze, no. It’s done,” he said softly. “I’m not accepting the bond. You deserve to be with someone who understands you more than I ever will.” He took a shuddering breath. “You deserve Cyrian and I deserve someone that trusts me enough to let me in.”

Tears spilled down her face and she choked back a sob and covered her mouth. “Adrien- “He stood and pulled her into a tight hug, resting his chin on the top of her head. She pressed her face into his shoulder. “We’re mates.”

——–

The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry. His heart folded in on itself and dissolved into ash as he kissed her forehead. Her arms folded between them and Adrien squeezed her tightly. A strange weight lifted from his shoulders and he hated himself for it.

He inhaled sharply and looked down to her amber eyes, the very ones that he saw when he closed his eyes. “I will always be your mate, Mazakynn. Forever. But sometimes mates aren’t meant for each other. You are meant for someone else, just as I am. We both deserve that and I’m not going to keep that from you just because I love you.”

“I love you, Adrien,” she said in a small voice.

“I know you do.” He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumbs. “But you’re in love with him. Not me. You love me because of a bond that you had no control of.” He wetted his lips, the taste of salt filled his tongue from his own tears. “If we weren’t mates, you would have been with him from the beginning. You were drawn to me, as I to you, because of it and I won’t stand in your way anymore.”

Fresh tears slipped down her face and he lightly kissed her one last time. “Thank you, for everything you have done for me, Mazakynn Batalis. You kept me alive when I thought about destroying myself and you helped heal what was left broken in the Blood Rite and I will always be thankful for it. Always.” He stepped back into his shadows. “But I need to let you go.”

——-

Nate pulled Baylor’s armor and shirt off and pushed him against the wall, slamming his lips on his mate’s. Baylor’s hands hastily unbuttoned Nate’s shirt as Nate ran a hand up Baylor’s chest and curled his fingers behind Baylor’s neck.

Baylor’s breath hitched as Nate’s fingers went the laces at his abdomen and pulled them apart with ease. Nate shucked off his shirt and gripped Baylor and pulled him up. His mate’s legs wrapped around Nate’s torso, his nails scratching up Nate’s back as he kissed him soundly.

Nate strode to the bed and dropped him onto it and pulled Baylor’s pants down and off before discarding them on the floor. Nate climbed onto the bed and kissed up Baylor’s chest before kissing him on the mouth.

The sound of Nate’s laces being undone filled his ears and he kissed Baylor. He welcomed the taste of blood and pushed further into Baylor’s mouth, his hand going to his mate’s cock and stroking it. “Nate- Nathaniel- “

Baylor moaned in his mouth and his hands went to back to Nate’s back, nearly clawing it. The cool wind hissed on his back and he knew Baylor broke the skin. He didn’t care; he wanted to be marked, claimed as Baylor’s. Instead he kissed down Baylor’s neck, his mate’s breath shuddered and Nate paused, only to step out of his own pants before returning to Baylor’s neck and cock.

Mine screamed in Nate’s head, near drowning out the moans coming from Baylor and his mate arched his neck, giving him access to his throat. Nate’s heart shuddered as his teeth grazed Baylor’s throat. His mate’s pulse pounded beneath his tongue in steady beats.

Baylor’s nails scratched deeper against his back as Nate’s teeth sunk into his skin. Blood filled his mouth and Baylor moaned loudly, arching his back. Nate pinned Baylor’s hips to the bed, stopping him from arching further and bit into Baylor’s shoulder.

Baylor whimpered, his head tipping back against the pillow, arm thrown over mouth. Nate staunched the blood from the wounds with his tongue before moving Baylor’s hand and pinning it over his head. “I want to hear you,” Nate murmured.

Mine.

Baylor’s face and chest flushed a deep crimson but met his eyes, sturdy and unguarded. Nate dipped his thumb into the head of Baylor’s cock and ran precum down the shaft. Baylor’s hips bucked and he cursed. “Fuck, Nate.”

The sounds coming out of Baylor’s mouth was enough to make Nate hard. Baylor stared at Nate with an intensity and Nate kissed just beneath Baylor’s jaw, pushing his hand deeper into the mattress. Baylor’s free hand grasped Nate’s hip and pulled him down on top of him, his hips rolling into his own.

Nate moaned into Baylor’s neck; He was so fucking hard and couldn’t think past it. Gooseflesh rose on his mate’s skin. “Nate- Nate. I want- I want you to fuck me,” he gasped out with a shaky breath. “Please. I want you in me.” He was going to miss this, so much. This intimacy, these sounds. His mate. He was going to miss his mate. It was going to kill him. “Please.”

Nate slid down to kiss the insides of Baylor’s thighs, his hands pinning Baylor’s hips to the mattress, stopping him from bucking in his face. Baylor moaned loudly and cursed, his body flushed red from head to toe.

Mine.

Baylor sucked on Nate’s fingers and Nate moaned, his cock stirring. Nate moved his fingers down to Baylor’s entrance. His index finger slid inside him and he lifted his gaze to Baylor. He slid in a second finger, working him open. He slid in a third finger and Baylor’s back arched.

He pulled out his fingers, one by one and positioned himself between Baylor’s legs and slid into him. Baylor’s leg hooked around Nate back and dug into him with his heel. Nate retracted and slammed back into him. “Fuck, Baylor.”

Baylor whimpered and his hand went to his cock, to release some of the pressure building. Nate stopped his hand and he laced it over Baylor’s head and thrusted again. He brushed Baylor’s lips with his own, rolling his hips into his. “I want to make you come without you touching yourself.”

Baylor looked up at him, his hazel green eyes blown out, his freckles stark against his flushed golden-brown skin. He leaned up to kiss him on the mouth, his free hand scratching at his lower back. Nate retracted and slammed in again, those nails leaving colorless moons.

Mine.

———-

Bay kept his hand clawing at Nate’s back, to stop from stroking himself, the other laced and pinned above his head. Nate hovered above him, rolling his hips. Bay could see his reflection in Nate’s depthless eyes. Nate slammed into him again and Bay let out a loud moan.

Nate’s brows furrowed but a ghost of a smirk sat on his lips. Bay’s eyes went to that lip ring and he slid his hand from Nate’s back and pulled Nate’s mouth down to his, sucking on his lip ring. Nate moaned against his mouth, his thrusts becoming erratic.

“Please,” Bay whimpered. Nate’s eyes blew out, somehow making them even darker, his hair fell over his shoulder onto Bay’s chest “Let me touch- “

Heat flooded through Bay and Nate slammed in again; he was going to catch on fire. Bay trembled, his hand finding purchase in Nate’s damp hair. His breath caught and he shattered, followed by Nate.

Nate collapsed on top of him, his forehead pressed against Bay’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath, their hands still laced together. Bay’s heart pounded through every inch of him and he turned his head, kissing Nate’s cheek.

Bay closed his eyes, committing the weight of Nate on top of him to memory. He ran his hand down Nate’s back, feeling the ridges of where he had clawed him against his callused fingers. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He wasn’t sure what he was sorry for; if it was for leaving, for the claw marks, for sleeping with that male the week before. There were so many things he was sorry for he couldn’t breathe.

Nate rolled off him and looked at him. He saw the same expression on his face, but he simply said, “Don’t be.”

Tears pricked the back of his eyes and Nate’s own softened, he brushed Bay’s cheek with his thumb and opened his mouth to say something but promptly shut it. Bay’s brows furrowed but Nate just leaned over and kissed him softly, slowly.

After a few minutes, Nate pulled apart from him and he stood, striding to the bathroom. Bay closed his eyes, imagining Nate drawing the bath, bracing the counter and looking himself in the mirror. He imagined Nate’s heart feeling heavy in his chest, near fracturing; Nate getting into scalding water. Bay opened his eyes and got up from the bed and followed suit.

——–

Cyrian crossed his arms, leaning against the bricked-out wall, giving Adrien a bored look. He crossed his ankles. “There a particular reason you dragged me out here.”

Adrien studied him his face carefully closed off. Cyrian’s brows furrowed and Adrien sighed almost imperceptibly. “Be good to her.” Cyrian blinked and uncrossed his arms. “All I ask, don’t contact your mother. Stay away from her and be good to Mazakynn. You both deserve a little bit of fucking happiness and your mother will take it away from you both.”

Cyrian narrowed his eyes at Adrien, his voice flat. “I thought I was a heartless monster.”

Adrien’s face didn’t shift, he was silent for a handful of heartbeats before, “I was wrong.” Cyrian stared at Adrien. He was positive the male had never said he was wrong in his life. Adrien’s face filled with a steely resolve. “If you hurt her, I will find a way to kill you.”

Cyrian rose a brow. “You think you can actually kill me?”

Adrien shoved his hands in his pockets, his face didn’t move. “I think you could kill me very easily, Cyrian. I’m not arrogant enough to think otherwise. But I promise you, I will move Heaven and earth to make sure you go down with me.”

“You expect me to believe that you, of all people, are going to give up your mate? Just like that?” Adrien’s territoriality was one of the worst he’s seen in a male. “You wouldn’t just let her go.”

Adrien gazed at him in silence, his face unmovable granite. “She’s not mine to keep. She deserves what she wants and that’s not me. That’s you.”

“She’s your mate,” Cyrian snapped. “Are you too idiotic to know what that means?”

Adrien’s lips tightened almost imperceptibly, his eyes still cold. “It means putting her first.” Adrien’s hand balled in his pants and he stepped forward. “Give me your hand.”

He crossed his arms. “No.”

Impatience flashed on Adrien’s face. “Just give me your fucking hand, you drama queen.” Cyrian’s brows flattened and he held it out. Adrien pulled his hand out of his pocket and placed a silver ring in his hand. Cyrian stared down at the ring before sliding his eyes to Adrien’s. “I believe that’s yours.”

He slid the ring on his finger, his throat tight as he swallowed. “How did you get this?”

“I snuck back into your mother’s office and hunted for it.” That explained the bruise on Adrien’s face and the cut to his shoulder. Adrien’s eyes softened a fraction. “It belongs to you. It’s the only thing that’s left of her and you deserve to have it.”

“What’s the catch?”

Adrien scoffed and folded his arms. “For fucks sake, there isn’t one. You lost something that was a part of you and I wanted to make sure you got a small piece of it back. That’s all.”

Cyrian studied Adrien. “Why? Don’t you hate me.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever actually like you, Cyrian. But I’ve been wrong about a lot of things the past year. She’s your mate and you lost her. No one deserves to have a piece of their soul taken from them. I can’t bring her back, but I could at least get that for you.”

Cyrian ran a finger over the smooth surface of the ring, the moonlight shimmering on it. “Thank you.”

Adrien stepped back, his shadows darkened as he readied himself to winnow. “I am trusting you to not hurt her. Please don’t make me regret it.” His shadows twisted around him and he winnowed, leaving Cyrian alone in the alley way.

——–

A part of him had hoped the bond would snap in place while they had sex, but it hadn’t. Nate looked up from the bath to see Baylor come in. His shoulder and neck were bruised darkly with small traces of blood spilling past the wound from where he had bit him and he had bit him hard. If it hurt, it didn’t show in Baylor’s face.

Baylor wordlessly climbed into the tub with him and leaned into Nate, his face resting in the crook of his neck. Nate’s arms went around him and pulled him closer. Baylor’s shoulders shook slightly and Nate closed his eyes, stopping himself from crying.

He wanted to tell Baylor to forget the promise, to let him stay. But to his mate, promises were everything, the only thing of his that he could give. The words died on his tongue and he brought a rag up and washed his back. Baylor’s arms folded between them and Nate kissed Baylor’s temple.

His mate was one of the most powerful Illyrians in history, with seven siphons and ranked second of the newest generation despite starting training so much later than they. If he had been trained with them from the right age, Nate knew he would be ranked first and his brother second, but he felt so small in his arms, so vunerable. Nate hated it with a burning passion.

———

Maze rolled onto her side, facing the wall. Her heart was raw in her chest, a strange weight lifted from her shoulders and she knew Adrien was right. Maze pulled her pillow over her face, stopping the tears before they started.

Her mate had changed so much since the Blood Rite. He was quieter, more lethal. His arrogance had dimmed down and he became more watchful. He saw something in her that she hadn’t seen. Whether it was the bond or his shadows or just observing, Adrien wasn’t the same person. He was willing to let her go.

Emotion after emotion cracked through her, choking her. Maze sighed painfully and pulled the pillow under her head and closed her eyes, letting sleep pull her into oblivion.

————

Adrien watched the moon as he sat on the roof, the cool wind kissing his face and blowing through his hair. His heart shuttered in his chest but he knew he did the right thing. He felt as if he had every bone broken in his body but at the same time it felt as if he could breath for once. He hated it.

He studied his hand, where Alvarez bit him. He could still see faint bite marks in his golden-brown skin. He wondered how Alvarez did it. She could so seamlessly separate her emotions and get what she needed done.

——–

Zevakyn laughed and Tarus thought it was one of the most beautiful sounds they had ever heard. “I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” Zevakyn said, taking a drink from their shared bottle. “I thought I would be long dead by now.”

Tarus snorted, taking the bottle from Zevakyn and brought it to their lips. “Me too. I was fully expecting Blake’s family to kill me after the Blood Rite or for someone to get to my blood.”

“Good news for me that they’re good people and you’re hard to kill.” Tarus’s face warmed and they looked down, biting their lip. Zevakyn’s hand touched Tarus’s cheek, and they looked up, meeting his eyes. Zevakyn didn’t move towards them but his eyes were intense. “Are you ready to admit that there is something between us?” His voice was soft and brutally kind.

Heat flushed in Tarus’s face and they bit their lip. Tarus studied Zevakyn’s unguarded eyes before they leaned forward, brushing Zevakyn’s lips with their own. Before Tarus knew what they what they were doing, his hand went back to cup behind’s Zevakyn’s neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

Tarus slid into Zevakyn’s lap, their hands framing his face. They pulled apart from the kiss and looked down at Zevakyn. “I would let no one else near my throat. Only you.” Zevakyn’s crooked smile reached his eyes and he leaned up, his lips brushing Tarus’s.

“I’m honored,” Zevakyn said into their mouth, his hands going up to Tarus’s hair, his fingers weaving through it. “That you trust me enough to do this with you.” Tarus wrapped their arms around his neck, pushing deeper into the kiss.

———–

“Blake?”

Blake opened his eyes to see Dacia knelt in front of him. He furrowed his brows in confusion before looking to the doorway. His eyes snapped on Thesan and Blake snarled and went to stand but was held down by Dacia. “Calm down, he’s here to help.”

Blake thrashed beneath Dacia’s strength and he pinned his eyes on her, snarling. “You traitorous Bitch.” Dacia’s eyes blazed but she merely tightened her lips. “Let me go.” His snapped his eyes to Thesan. “Get the fuck out of my house!” Thesan’s eyes were filled with bone deep sadness and regret and he didn’t care. He didn’t care. His eyes went to Aurora still sleeping before going back to Thesan. “Get away from my mate!”

Thesan didn’t move. “I can help her. Let me help her and you’ll never see me again. I swear it.” His shadows picked up the truth from the High Lord of the Dawn Court but it was drowned out by the rage simmering in his blood. Thesan looked at Aurora, his dark eyes fracturing.

“Don’t look at her,” Blake snapped at him. He turned to Dacia; pleading to her. “If you care about me at all, you will let me go.” Tears slid down her face but she held firm. “Please,” his voice cracked.

“Blake,” Dacia scratched out, “He’s been healed. He can help her. Let him help her.”

“You think I care that he was sick” Blake yelled, struggling against her. He shot Thesan a savage glare; The High Lord flinched. “You put your daughter into a coma because she wouldn’t do what you wanted. She chose me.” Tears slid down his cheeks, his voice raw. “She chose me and you punished her for it and you think I’ll let you near her?” Tears slid down Thesan’s own cheeks as he looked back at Aurora. “DON’T LOOK AT HER!”

Thesan looked back to him, his face filled with agony. “There are no words, nothing I can do to express to you how much I loathe what I have done. I am not making excuses Blake Verrum. But I can help her. I can wake her. Let me, please.”

“No,” Blake scratched out, still struggling against the High Lady. He glared at her through wet eyes. “I will never forgive you for this. Never.” he said savagely. “We are done.” The hurt flashing through Dacia’s was gone in an instant, her face smoothed out, emotionless. “You are just like your father.” Her gaze shuttered and she flinched back as if she’d been gutted. He didn’t care.

“Blake,” a voice said. Blake looked over to see Rhys standing in the doorway behind Thesan, his face emotionless. “Let him help her.” It was an order. From his High Lord. Blake growled low in his throat.

“No.”

A shuffling sound came from outside his room and he craned his neck to see Adrien come in, his eyes searching the room, his face carefully blank before resting on Thesan; pure rage rested in his eyes. “What Are you doing in my house.”

“Adrien-“ Blake got out, struggling against Dacia’s strength. He snapped his head to her. “I will kill-“

Adrien pushed past Rhys and Thesan before whirling on them. Blake could see Adrien’s back muscles tense as he stared them down. “Get out. Let me talk to my brother. Now.” Adrien turned to Dacia. “Go on, let me talk to Blake. He won’t do anything. I swear it.”

Blake’s temper snapped. “Don’t start making bargains about me.” Adrien just gazed at him in silence, his massive arms crossed as he stared him down. Blake tightened his lips and flared his nostrils. “Fine. I won’t do anything.” Dacia looked at him, her gaze emotionless and assessing. “I swear it,” he bit out.

She released him and stood, her golden hair going back behind her shoulders as she blinked back tears. “I’m just trying to help you, Blake.” Her wet eyes went to Aurora. “And I’m trying to help your mate.” She turned back to him, her chin raised. “If that means not being your friend anymore, so be it.”

As she stalked out of his room, Adrien turned to him. “Let him help her.” Blake slammed Adrien against the wall, his shoulder cracking against the plaster. “He is the only one who can wake her,” Adrien said calmly, his voice laced with pain. “Drakon and the others healed Thesan. He had a growth on his brainstem that affected his behavior and thought process. He’s himself again.”

“No-“

“Ash can’t help her,” Adrien said. “He’s tried everything he could, going as far as hiding from Bay because he was covered head to toe in bruises trying to heal her. He had coughed up blood for hours trying to get into and heal her mind.” Blake remembered. “And if Ash can’t do it, then there’s only one other that can. And that’s Thesan.”

“And what if he makes it worse,” Blake bit out. “What then?”

“Then she would die,” Adrien groaned, his head leaning back against the wall, not bother trying to get out from Blake’s grip. “But she would be at rest instead of in a perpetual state of sleep.” Adrien met his eyes, his face emotionless. “If she hasn’t gotten herself out of her coma with her own healing abilities by now, then she won’t. Let him do this, Blake. Keep a sword at his throat or something, I don’t care. Just let him heal her.”

Blake’s lips thinned. “If it was Maze in the same situation. If her father had put her into a coma and he came up and said he could wake her, would you do it? Would you let the male responsible near your mate?”

Adrien’s face turned to pure ice, colder than the Winter Court itself. “If it was the only way, I would make a pact with the Devil, himself. She’s your mate, let go and do what needs to be done or you’ll lose her forever.”

Blake released Adrien’s throat and stepped back from his brother. Adrien doubled over, coughing, and catching his breath. When Adrien stood, Blake met his eyes. “If he hurts her and you were wrong, you forfeit your life,” Blake swore coldly. If Adrien was surprised, it didn’t show on his face. Instead he just nodded and walked out of the bedroom.

———-

Bay watched Nate climb up on the bed. He followed suit and straddled Nate’s waist and pressed his hands down on either side of Nate’s head. Nate looked up at him with a solemn gaze and Bay lowered his mouth to his in a soft kiss.

I love you.

Nate’s hands traced up Bay’s back, lightly grazing his wings, and he hooked his arms around Bay’s neck. Bay traced the muscle in Nate’s abdomen lightly and he kissed Nate’s neck. His teeth ached and he hesitated from biting him. Nate only arched his neck, offering him his throat. Bay glanced between Nate’s eyes and the invitation back to Nate’s eyes. “Do it,” Nate whispered. “I want you to.” 

Bay looked back at the golden skin, only a shade lighter than his own, and kissed his throat before opening his mouth and sinking his teeth in. Nate hardened beneath him and blood pulsed into his mouth and Nate’s fingers gripped Bay’s hair. He ran his tongue over the wounds, closing them, and kissed the skin before moving on to Nate’s lips.

Nate’s hands ran up Bay’s chest, as if memorizing every dip in muscle and he touched Bay’s face. Tears pricked in the back of Bay’s eyes and he swallowed. Ask me to break my promise. He was willing to give up the one thing he could offer someone so he could keep Nate. He wasn’t sure what that made him but he would do it. Ask me to break my promise.

Nate’s head lifted and he brushed Bay’s mouth his own. “Will you fuck me?” Bay blinked and stared down at Nate. He hadn’t been expecting to be asked that. “Please,” he said quietly. “I want to feel you in me one last time.”

Bay nodded, heat rising in his face, and lowered himself to between Nate’s legs. He pinned Nate’s hips to the bed and lightly kissed his thighs. A soft moan came from Nate and Bay hardened at the sound. He was going to miss coaxing that noise from Nate.

I love you.

Bay wetted his fingers and carefully slid his index finger inside. Nate’s breath caught and Bay paused. They had rarely done this, only when Bay had been manic had he taken the control like that; that need for control scared him sometimes. Nate nodded and Bay inserted a second finger, widening and spreading him apart. He added a third and continued until he was ready. “Are you sure you want this?”

“Yes,” Nate breathed, his hands framing Bay’s face. “I want this.” He saw the unspoken words in Nate’s eyes. I want you.

His heart trembled and Bay edged his way in and Nate’s breath shuddered. Bay paused and met Nate’s eyes. “You can bite me if you need to.”

Nate nodded and he bit into Bay’s good shoulder. Bay continued edging his way in, his hand laced into his above Nate’s head. Nate moaned against him and he slowly retracted and rolled his hips into Nate.

Tears pricked in the back of Bay’s eyes and he kissed Nate’s throat. Nate’s hips rolled against his own and Bay moaned against him as they moved in sync. Nate’s nails bit into Bay’s back and Bay kissed Nate’s jaw as he thrusted.

Bay tasted salt and he realized Nate was crying. He kissed away the tears and touched his forehead with his and rocked his hips into him. Nate gasped and Bay pressed his free hand to Nate’s chest, his heartbeat thumped against his fingers.

I’m so sorry.

Bay reached down to stroke Nate. Nate’s lips connected to his and he felt tears start to slide down his own cheeks as he slowly retracted and pushed back in. Nate’s nails bit into his back and he moaned.

Ask me to break my promise.

Nate started to tremble around him and Bay picked up the pace. Nate’s hand slid up, finding purchase in Bay’s hair. “Baylor-“

Bay pressed his mouth onto his and sucked on Nate’s lip ring. He started to tremble as he pressed their laced hands deeper into the mattress. Nate’s breath caught and he shattered, Bay followed before he worked them through their orgasms and collapsed on top of him.

Bay pressed his forehead against Nate’s shoulder as he caught his breath. Nate’s arms wrapped around his lower back. “Thank you,” Nate whispered, kissing Bay on his temple.

Ask me to break my promise.

Fresh tears spilled down Bay’s cheeks and he pressed his face in Nate’s neck. Bay folded his arms between them and he swallowed back a sob. Nate turned them to their sides and Bay laid in the crook of his arm, Nate’s other arm rested on Bay’s hip, pulling him into him, their legs mingled together. Just like it used to be. One last time.

——

Adrien stepped into the living room, his eyes going to Thesan, completely ignoring Rhys. He rose his chin, his shadows wreathing around him as he stared down the High Lord. “I just put my own life on the line to save your daughter. She wakes up, you dissolve that marriage alliance. She is no longer your property or your child. She is her own person and my brother’s mate and she deserves to be able to live the life she wants with the person she loves.”

He stepped towards Thesan. “You will stay away from her for however long she wishes it and you will leave my cousins alone.” His fists balled at his sides, his siphons glowing, the fracture in his shoulder making him wince. “If I find out you have laid another hand on your children, or you try to interfere with my family again, I will find a way to gut you and I will take my time doing it, do you understand me?”

Thesan nodded and Rhys looked at him. “You sound an awful lot like that girl. Alvarez.” Adrien crossed his arms and stared at him in silence. “Thank you for getting Blake to agree to this.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” Adrien said coldly. “I did it for my brother and for his mate. It had nothing to do with you or Thesan. But maybe you should worry about how you plan to help those females that are suffering in those camps.” Miko’s screams still filled his ears, the pure terror he felt through his shadows. Rhys blinked back surprise at his tone. “There will be a war if you don’t do something. Those females have endured too much over the centuries and now they want to lay waste to Hybern so they have somewhere safe to be. Fix it.”

Adrien left the High Lords and Lady to gawk at him as he walked back to his room and slammed the door. Pulling his shirt off, Adrien looked in his mirror at the scar curving around his side to the scars flickering through his wings to the harshness of his face and the coldness of his hazel-gold eyes. He pulled back a fist and shattered his mirror before stalking towards his bed and climbing in, falling asleep.

————

Dacia turned to Thesan and Rhysand. The High Lords were hundreds of years older than her and yet it was her who had sacrificed everything. “My court isn’t even a part of all of this drama and I sacrificed my friendship with my best friend so you could fix your mess, Thesan.” The High Lord’s face was pure agony. She merely rose her chin. “Bring her back to Blake or so help me you will have me to contend with and I will not lose.”

Blake came out of his bedroom and Dacia tried looking at her friend. He completely ignored her, his brown eyes going to Thesan. “Don’t make me regret this, High Lord. Give me back my mate.”

Thesan dipped his head and he walked back towards Blake’s bedroom, followed by Rhys. Dacia grabbed Blake’s arm, forcing him to look at her. He looked down at her with nothing but contempt and her heart fractured. “What.”

She felt tears prick the backs of her eyes and she took a sharp breath. “No matter what, you will always be my friend, Blake.” Blake scoffed and looked away. Her heart crumpled in on itself and she let him go. “I did the right thing and I won’t apologize for it.”

She let him go and he stalked past her to his room. Dacia brushed a hair behind her ear and hugged herself, willing the tears to stay hidden as she sat at the counter, waiting for her friend to wake up.

———

Aurora watched her father beat her again and again. She watched him beat her brother and then her mate. Ash, Dacia, Fia, Adara; the person changed over and over in her father’s grip. She was frozen, couldn’t move to save them.

Tears ran down her face as she watched them, the people she failed to protect fall beneath her father’s fist. A presence appeared beside her and her heart thudded through her ears as she turned to see her father. “Are you here to finally kill me?”

He stared at the vision, his -her- eyes were filled with anguish and pain and rage. Tears spilled down his face and he dropped to his knees, watching himself hurt the people she cared about. “I’m so sorry, Aroda.”

She blinked at the name. He hadn’t called her that since she was twelve, back before he changed so completely that she didn’t recognize him. “Father?”

The High Lord of the Dawn Court looked up at her with glistening eyes. There was no shade of the cruelty she had grown with in them. “I can never tell you how much I am sorry. The people of Cretea came,” he choked out. “They healed me and I came straight to you.”

“What- What are you talking about?” Realization dawned on her. “The sickness Ash was talking about. You were healed?’

He dipped his head and nodded. “I am so very sorry, my Daughter. I vowed to raise you in my brother’s stead as he died. To honor his promise to you and your mother. And I failed in loving you as my own.” He stood then, and looked down at her. “I have dissolved the marriage alliance. You and Ash Archeron Vanserra are free to choose who you want. I recognize Blake as your mate and will no longer keep you from the ones you love.”

Light shimmered around them, pink and gold as the Dawn. The vision around them began to fade, leaving a vision of her and her father, from all those years ago. Tears spilled down Aurora’s cheeks as she watched.

Her father knelt in front of her, healing a scab on her knee from when she began training. He smiled down at her, ruffling her dark hair, his eyes crinkled as he kissed the top of her head.

She turned to her father with wide eyes and he looked down at her. “Wake up, Aroda. Wake up.”

——–

Blake watched as Aurora’s eyes fluttered open and he felt tears spill down his cheeks. Aurora’s eyes scanned the room and she tried sitting up. “No, no. Don’t sit up.”

Her eyes went to his and tears threatened to spill on her brown cheeks. “Blake? Where am I?”

“You’re in Velaris. You’ve been in a coma for months. Ash brought you to me and I brought you here. You’re safe. ” Her eyes scanned the room before going to her father. Blake stood and turned to Thesan. “I won’t thank you for this. Never this.”

Thesan shook his head, his hands clasped behind his back. “I wouldn’t expect you to.” Blake stared him down as Aurora struggled into a sitting position. Blake pressed his hand to the small of her back, giving her his strength. “This was my fault to begin with.”

“Where’s Ash?” She asked, looking around. “I want to see him.”

“Then I will get him,” a voice said. Blake’s eyes went to Dacia at the doorway and narrowed. The High Lady didn’t look at him but she nodded and winnowed.

——-

Ash ran his fingers over the raised bumps in his book, reading it as a presence appeared in his room. Ash looked up to his sister. Her blood pressure was high and heart pounding. “What is it?”

“Aurora’s awake and asking for you,” She said. There was something wrong with her voice, something that had nothing to do with Aurora but he couldn’t place it. Whatever it was, it was causing her body to react and he didn’t like it. Ash sat his book on the table and stood, taking her hand so they could winnow.

—-

Stepping through the Morrigan’s house, Ash made his way towards Blake’s bedroom to where four heartbeats stood. He stiffened at the doorway as he felt Thesan’s attention snap onto him. Ash looked between them all as his fire crackled in veins. “Why are you here.”

A hand pressed to his back, his sister’s voice was a soft murmur that only he could hear. “He woke her.”

Ash nodded slowly and looked squarely at Thesan, his fingers curling into a fist. “I’d like nothing more than to light you on fire but someone more important than you needs me.” He shoved past the High Lord and went to Aurora.

He pressed his hands on her face, his magic coursing through her, looking for any lingering injury or sickness in her mind and body. Finding none, Ash pulled her into a hug, cupping her head. “Thank the rutting Cauldron you’re okay.”

Aurora wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face into his shoulder. He felt his shirt wetting from her tears and he pulled apart from her and cupped her face, blinking back the tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Aurora. So very sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Her fingers curled around his wrists and he heard her heart thrashing in her chest as she inhaled sharply. He could imagine her giving him a shaky smile. “I thought we weren’t friends.”

Ash scoffed and kissed the top of her head, aware of Blake’s narrowed eyes on him. He smoothed down her hair and stepped back, grinning at her. “That’s what you get for thinking.” Aurora’s laugh was raw.

———-

Bay nuzzled into Nate’s neck, slowly waking. Nate’s heartbeat thrummed at Bay’s lips and he didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay with Nate, in that bed, forever. He squeezed his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks. Ask me to break my promise.

Bay’s eyes fluttered open, the room starting to lighten. The promise of a night and morning cemented itself in Bay’s mind. But if he let Nate wake up beside him, he wouldn’t have the strength to do what needed to be done.

Bay lightly kissed Nate’s lips before making himself curl out of Nate’s arms. Nate burrowed deeper into the pillow, the sheet wrapping around his hips crinkling. Bay pulled his glasses on then looked at the red lines going across the expansion of Nate’s back. His face heated at what his nails had done. Some of the lines were deep enough they would scar. He doubted Nate would care.

He went to the desk, debating on writing the letters he had planned. One for Nate, Ash, Aysel, and Cassian. He needed them to know what was in his heart about each of them, just in case he didn’t come back. Making up his mind, Bay pulled out the parchment and wrote the letters and placed them on the desk.

He went to the washroom and switched his glasses out for the lenses Nesta had crafted for him before studying himself in the mirror. The hazel green eyes, the freckles, the ash blond hair; they all belonged to his father: the camp lord of Gomorreh, the most ruthless of camps in Prythian.

He was a monster and Bay was going to make sure he never hurt another female, even if it took getting himself killed to do it. His mother deserved it, she raised her tormentor’s child with nothing but love in her heart. He owed it to her to kill him.

Stepping out of the washroom, Bay snapped his armor into place before sheathing his blades at his side and sword to his back. He went to the side of his bed, looking down at the love of his life sleeping so blissfully.

Bay blinked back tears, keeping himself from leaning down and kissing him again. He couldn’t risk waking Nate up. He hastily bushed the tears from his cheek. “I love you, Nathaniel,” he whispered. “Always.”

Turning to the window, Bay pushed it open quietly. He rested his foot on the windowsill and looked back to Nate’s bed. His Black hair mussed around his head and shoulders, tattoos trailing his arms and across his shoulders, into his back. Bay swallowed thickly before turning to the morning sky and flying.

———

Nate groaned and reached over for Baylor. His hand hit air and cool sheets. Eyes fluttering open, Nate looked at the empty space; his heart fractured in his chest. Turning onto his back, Nate looked up at the ceiling, the night before pulling at him, and sighed deeply. A part of him had hoped to find his mate next to him when he woke, but Nate knew if Baylor had woken first, he’d be gone.

Nate reached for Baylor’s pillow and brought it to his face, breathing in the scent of cloves and cedar deeply. If he closed his eyes, maybe he could pretend his mate was next to him, or in the washroom. But his heart knew better. He probably went back to Hybern; it being too hard to be in the same place as he.

Sitting up, Nate threw his feet over the side of his bed. His entire body was worn. He and Baylor had made good use of their time together. Nate groaned and stood, going to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and slipped them on before stalking out of his bedroom.

He stopped in front of Blake’s bedroom when he saw the wall. Cracks traced the plaster, as if someone had been slammed into it. Nate blinked. He hadn’t heard anything while he and Baylor had been in his room. Although they were rather busy.

Nate pulled up a stool and sat at the counter and rubbed his temples. Maze leaned over on her elbows, her smile not reaching her eyes. “Where’s Bay?”

He pulled an apple from the counter and studied it. Grimacing, Nate put it back in the bowl and looked at Maze. “Not here.” Maze frowned. Nate narrowed his eyes. “You think that because we hooked up that we would be back together? As much as I want that, no. We’re not.” He swallowed and stood. “We said goodbye. That’s it.”

Maze leaned back. “I’m not with Adrien anymore. So I get it.” His temper snapped.

He sat back down and gazed at her. “He finally break up with you for you constantly lying to him?” Maze’s entire body flinched. “He’s a fucking shadowsinger, Maze. The best one of all of us, next to our father. He reads emotions and lies as well as you read a book. Every lie you tell him, it feels like someone is choking the air out of his lungs. And you think that’s the same thing as what’s going on between me and my mate?” She stared at him with wide eyes. He let out a breath. “Sorry, I’m a little unhinged right now.”

She shook her head and smiled sadly at him. “It’s all right, Nate. Things will work out. I promise.” As much as he wanted to believe that, he had a feeling things were going to get much worse before they ever got better.


	56. Chapter 56

*Living with the Verrums and their constant family drama was something Cyrian would never get used to. It was providing him with a continent sized head ache and it didn’t help that the Morrigan was too friendly for her own good. Cyrian walked into the dining room and he grimaced when the still pregnant female waltzed over to him, squeezing him around his middle.

Cyrian tried to push her away and luckily she didn’t burst into tears like the last time. “I still don’t do hugs.” Cyrian brushed off his shirt, feeling her cheeriness like a palpable thing. In fact, it was. His Shadowsinger powers were quite different from her sons’ and Cyrian doubted she would ever understand. While her sons sensed lies and false-truths and darker emotions, Cyrian sensed and choked on happiness.

Happiness, joy, love, laughter, things he never thought he would have. Cyrian looked up and saw Maze biting into her toast, circles under her eyes, and he gave a slight smile. Morrigan - Mor as she tried to insist, but she was lucky Cyrian said her name at all - followed his line of sight. Cyrian looked away from Maze and awkwardly patted her head, before pulling up a seat next to Nate.

“Are you both always eating an apple?” Maze commented, spreading more butter on her toast. Cyrian turned his face up and took it from her, scrapping the butter off and replacing it with jam, before giving it back. Maze stared down at it as if it just grew three heads and handed it back over to Cyrian. “Disgusting.”

“You’re both disgusting.” Nate grumbled as Cyrian bit into what was now his toast, flipping the previously said apple in his hand a few times, before chomping down. “You can’t even wait twenty-four hours before you act like a married couple, can you?”

Cyrian froze. Maze looked over her shoulder, in the process of putting bread in the toaster oven. She looked down at the same time Cyrian did, catching the silver band on his finger. Nate followed their gazes and he choked on his apple slightly as Cyrian pulled away, getting out of his chair, a dazed look taking over his face. “Cyrian, I didn’t- you’ve never worn-”

Cyrian looked down at Nate then looked away immediately, leaving the half-eaten toast and apple behind. Maze thumped Nate on the back of the head and they both shared heated whispers that Cyrian tried to block out. He struggled with trying to keep his walls from going back up, his fingers curling into his palms.

Cyrian took a deep breath and faced both of them, his shoulders still bent. “I was married. Now I’m a widower. You can say the word it’s not tabooed.” Something inside him cracked, but not the bad kind. It felt like something was pouring out, making him heavier and lighter at the same time. It was different telling Nathaniel and Maze.

Not bad different. Just different.

Maze looked up, punching Nate in the gut with her elbow, before addressing him. “You’re… being open. That’s good.”

Cyrian rolled his eyes.

“We’ll see. And while I despise your family and your drama with every ounce of my being, Nathaniel, I need to talk to them. I need you there so I don’t strangle them.” The pouring continued, continued to fill him up and make him heavier. Cyrian decided to ride this wave of… feelings before it was gone.

Nate rose his eyebrows. “Which ones?”

“We’ll see when we’re all in the same room, won’t we?” Cyrian rose his eyebrows. Nate snorted.

Maze grinned.

Not bad different at all.

——–

Bay kept his head down, letting his newly dyed hair fall over his eyes, obscuring his features the best he could. He kept his hand resting lazily on one of the throwing knives at his side as he walked. His shoulders and neck throbbed in the places Nate had bit him. He could still feel Nate’s weight on him, could still smell him. His heart shuttered in his chest.

He had a precise and clear plan. Zev had given him the layout; Had given him names. He needed to remain unseen and to not raise any suspicion on himself.

But somehow Bay found himself in front of a row of houses, his eyes went across the row before landing on the smallest house. His heart lodged into his throat as involuntary memories slammed into him. He willed his feet to step forward, to go to his mother’s house. But he couldn’t move.

A scream jarred him from his thoughts and he ran. He forgot about his plan when he found a male pinning a female to the side of a barrack, his hand running up her dress. She thrashed against him, her dark eyes filled with bone-deep hatred.

Black rage burned though every ounce of Bay and he pulled the male off her, pinning him to the barrack with his forearm crushing the male’s throat. The female staggered backwards with wide eyes but Bay saw no fear on her features. The male thrashed beneath him but froze when he saw Bay’s face.

“You,” he rasped out. Bay’s eyes narrowed and he palmed one of his blades. “You’re his son. What do you care if I-“

Bay pressed his forearm deeper into the male’s throat; cutting off his words. His ear twitched, picking up the sound of his trachea crushing. Good. He slid the blade between his ribs and the male gasped. Twisting it, a torrent of blood so dark it looked black seeped onto his fingers.

He watched the light die in the male’s eyes before pulling out the blade and letting him crumple to the ground in a mess of blood. Bay tried to feel something, anything, for killing this male, but his heart and body filled with a disconnected apathy and bone-deep weariness. Bay sighed through his nose; Now wasn’t the time to have one of his episodes. Although he should have realized he’d have one soon; it had been too long without one. Bay looked down at the dead male and smiled grimly. “Good riddance.”

He cleaned the blade on his thigh before sliding it back into its sheath. Turning, Bay looked at the female. She was a few inches taller than he, with brown hair and cunning brown eyes. He saw no fear on her face. Wariness, calculation; but no ounce of fear.

Bay pulled one of the newer, sharper blades from its sheath. “I’m not going to convince you I’m not a threat. You wouldn’t believe me anyways.” Her brows inched upwards and Bay held out the blade, hilt first. “Do you have somewhere safe you can go? Family? Friends?”

She took it before searching his face. Her own paled and she took a step back. She raised the blade he gave her. “You really are his son.” Her eyes widened in something he couldn’t place.

Bay kept a hand on one of the blades at his side, his eyes searching around them. He didn’t step forward and he didn’t remove his weapons. Not here. Not in this place. He turned his eyes to her when he saw no immediate threat. “In blood only.”

Her eyes narrowed but she didn’t step further back. “Blood means everything to Illyrians. You know that. Everyone knows that.” Suspicion and accusation were thick in her voice. And something else, but he didn’t know what.

Bay gripped the blade; the rain pelting down on him harder and harder. “I am alive because that male attacked my mother. If you think I care that his blood is in my veins you are sorely mistaken.”

She studied him, her gaze searching him for the lie in his words. She lowered the blade he gave her. “You mean to kill him.” He didn’t bother answering her. She shook her head. “You can’t kill him. He’s too powerful.”

Bay stepped over the body and came up to the female. He pressed his lips together in a firm line as he looked at her. “If he can bleed, he can die and I’m not leaving this camp until my sword is through his neck.”

———

Dacia pressed the tips of her fingers together and looked between her council. Hate roiled in her veins and she could feel her claws wanting to push through her skin. “No.”

Amos stood and braced his hands on the table. “You aren’t needed. One of us could go in your stead. It’s merely a domestic dispute and can be handled without interference from you.”

Do you really think I trust you? Dacia stood. The wood groaned beneath her hands and she stared down each of them. “These are my people. It will be my judgement and I will mete out the punishment if there need be one.” She flicked her eyes to Amos. “As much as you think you can control me, you can’t. At the end of the day, it is my word. Not yours.”

“Of course, High Lady.” He spat the title out like a joke. Members of her council looked at her with barely concealed loathing. Snakes. All of them. “As you will it.”

Dacia kept her feet planted firmly in place. She was so sick of people treating her like this. “Get out,” she snapped. “If you aren’t out of my house within five minutes, you are stripped of your titles and lands. All of you.”

Each of the males moved faster than she had ever seen. When the last of them were out of her house, Dacia shrunk to the ground and pressed her forehead to her knees, holding back a sob. You are just like your father.

She looked at her hand, at the claws curving through her skin. Tears slipped past her eyes and she bit her knee, stopping herself from screaming. He was right. He was right.

—–

Cyrian lied.

Nate wasn’t going to stop him, but Maze stood in front of him, looking at her nails and chewing on a hang nail, trying to act nonchalant. She was horrible at it. Cyrian took deep breaths and clenched his fists behind his back, his nails biting into his palms, before he looked up and into Rhysand’s dark violet eyes.

There were too many people in this one room, too many people in this house. The fear of the dark came from that tight cell his father put him in, but so did the claustrophobia. Too many bodies, too many emotions, they were choking him. Cyrian was going to snap at the next person who touched him, even if accidentally. At least everyone had their wings put away - everyone who could.

The Seraphim from Cretea unfortunately did not have the ability to do the same and Cyrian was going to defeather them if another soft, ticklish feather brushed against his arm. Drakon stood on the other side of the room next to Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel. His emissary, Eydis, sat on the desk, her dark brown wings tucked tightly against her back. His Ground Commander, Raanana, stood closest to him and that was the one Cyrian was about to defeather.

Maze looked back at him, still chewing on her thumb, eyebrows raised. “So, what’s the plan?” She asked, mumbling around her thumb. Another smile threatened to pull at his lips and Cyrian all but smacked it away.

“I have a plan. You’re not going to like it. Promise me you won’t hit me in front of all these people.”

Maze narrowed her eyes. “We’ll see.”

Cyrian cracked his knuckles and leaned back against the wall, putting more space between him and Maze, before looking over to Cassian. He froze, his throat becoming suddenly dry, the memory coming back to him. Of him going to Cassian … it wasn’t important. He was here now. The past was the past. “You’re going to give them what they want. You’re going to give them Hybern.”

Cassian opened his mouth to speak, but Cyrian put his hand up, shaking his head. “I don’t care what your mate owned or what your daughter owns now so don’t try me. I care that my sister is willing to fight and die for this and so are her friends. I care that other girls just like her are willing to fight your dumb ass for Hybern. So you’re going to give it to them, but you’re not going to give all of it. Your daughter can keep the palace and the coast, but they get the rest. Cleave it. She can still play Queen, but she won’t rule over the Illyrians living there. Anyone who lives under her rule, I don’t care about them, she’s like two weeks old.”

Cassian blinked. “She’s one.”

“Tell someone who cares next time.” Cyrian replied and Raanana snorted, rubbing her nose and pretending to sneeze. Her bright purple hair was pinned on her head and the only thing that gave away her laughter was the corset she was wearing. Drakon let it slide.

“We have a very important job, Mazakynn.”

“Don’t use my full name it makes me believe I’m getting ready to knock your teeth out.” Maze turned around, stepping closer, getting up on her toes. “Am I getting ready to knock your teeth out?”

Definitely. Cyrian took a deep breath and gripped her shoulders. “We have to see our mothers.” Maze sprung. She slammed him against the wall, beating against his chest, stepping over his toes to get a better reach at him, her shoulders shaking.

“You are the dumbest, most self destructive, inconsiderate and selfish bastard I have ever met in my life!” Understandable. Cyrian gripped her side, placing his other hand against her collarbone, keeping her from punching at him. “We saved you! Everyone keeps coming to save you and you keep going back to that she-demon! Let her go, Cyrian. You promised your sister, you promised me, you promised all of us. And how dare you tell me I have to see my mother? I’m not an idiot.”

Maze pushed away from him and Cyrian grunted as his head tapped a bit too hard against the wall.

“Are you done?” Cyrian asked, watching as Maze stomped her feet, her nails digging into his hands. Nate held her waist, just in case she tried to jump him again. “There are things we have to know, Maze, and I do believe my mother will kill people whether we give her Hybern or not. That’s not her task, that’s your mother’s. You should be proud of me. I am trying to save others”

“Why?” Maze asked, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Cyrian reached up and wiped under her eyes with his thumb, shrugging, spinning the ring on his finger.

“Because when I start over away from her, away from all of this, I don’t want to be Atropine’s Son. I don’t want to be that person. I want to be someone else.”

Raanana’s feathers brushed against him again and Cyrian took a deep breath, before giving her a withering glare. Maze shook her head, pushing his hands off of her. “You’re doing a terrible job.” Maze crossed her arms and left the room, slamming the door behind her. Cyrian forgot how young she was.

“She didn’t say no.” Nate offered, shrugging. “You need a better plan that just going up to your mother and saying ‘Hey mom. I know I was kidnapped against my will and given a better life and learned that you’ve been an abusive piece of shit to me, but don’t kill anymore people. And let me walk out of here alive, thanks. Love you, hate you, bye’.”

“You’re an idiot.” Cyrian commented. Nate grinned. Cyrian’s lips twitched and he turned back to Rhysand and Azriel, crossing his arms again. “Remove whoever is still alive under there. Your worst of your worst, I don’t care. Either they’ll side with you and pose a threat to my sister or they’ll side against you and murder you and your children the second you look away. And while I can’t stand the happiness that oozes out of you, I don’t want your children dead.”

Rhysand blinked, stunned. Cyrian turned away and walked towards the door, but Raanana grabbed his forearm. “We should talk later,” She said, looking him up and down. Talk. Cyrian hadn’t talked in awhile, not the talking she seemed to be suggesting. She smirked. “Not that kind. Find me after you handle your business. Try not to die, though, that defeats the purpose.”

Cyrian pulled away and left. He wasn’t Atropine’s Son. Atropine’s Son would have done something horrible in that room, something he couldn’t take back. That part of him… that was still inside of him, somewhere. He was raised like that, but Cyrian would do everything in his power to keep it away. But for now, he went after Maze.

——–

A knock sounded at his door. Zev pulled his shirt on carefully before opening the door. His blood ran cold at the look on Bay’s face and the number of weapons. The male looked as if he were on his way to combat Death itself. Zev swallowed and stepped back wordlessly, letting the male into his room.

As Bay walked past, he could smell Nate on him; entwined into his clove and cedar scent. Interesting. Bay turned around and Zev could see a near black bruise peeking out of Bays shirt and armor. Bay’s face was completely emotionless and calculating. It made Zev feel sorry for the poor bastard that tried to cross Bay’s path.

Bay cocked his head and studied him; his hair falling over his eyes and arms behind his back. An eerie feeling sat in as he looked at Bay. But he couldn’t place it. “You said that you owed me after the Blood Rite. Do you still believe that?” Bay had tried to get him to forget about it. But he couldn’t do it. Bay had saved his life.

“Yes,” Zev said without hesitation. “Where are we going?”

Bay shook his head. “We aren’t going anywhere. I am.” Zev watched as Bay paced his room. It made him nervous. “I need you to give me the layout of Gomorreh.” Bay stopped abruptly and looked up at him. Zev had nearly eight inches on him but he felt two feet tall beneath Bay’s pinned gaze. “You’re from there, yes?”

Zev blinked and blinked again. “Yes, I am.” Wait. “Bay, you can’t go there alone. Let me come with you.” It wasn’t that he didn’t think Bay wouldn’t make it on his own there. It was that the camp was cold and cruel and Bay was a decent male. He’d get himself killed by trying to help someone.

Bay shook his head. “I need to remain unnoticed and with the price on your head, you would draw too much attention. I can’t get to the camp lord and worry about making sure you’re safe.”

Zev gaped at the warrior. What could he possibly have against David Odium? As far as he knew Bay had never been to his camp. He didn’t want Bay anywhere near it; A place like that would warp the goodness in Bay. The male was already mostly hard edges; it wouldn’t take too much more to dissolve the last of his softness. Especially when he was denying himself Nate; who was all light. “Why do you want the Camp Lord dead?”

Every emotion leached from Bay’s face leaving nothing but bone deep hatred and ruthlessness and steely resolve. Zev took an involuntary step back and Bay looked up at him. “He’s the male who sired me by attacking my mother. I mean to not only kill him, I’m going to destroy him. By the time I’m finished, David Odium will be less than nothing.”

Zev stared at him with wide eyes. David Odium was Bay’s father? If that were true, if the male who was the strongest Illyrian next to the Commander and the Spy Master was Bay’s father, that meant Zev had killed Bay’s brother: Dahmer Odium. He was responsible for taking another family member from Bay. Even if the male was truly evil and twisted and deserved to die for what he did to Chelia, he was still Bay’s blood.

Zev swallowed. “What do you need me to do?”

——-

Zev ran his hands through his hair and looked at the letters Bay had given him to give to the respective people. He had sworn to follow Bay’s instructions to the letter. But waiting three weeks for Bay to dismantle the entire camp before telling anyone where Bay had gone?

Zev studied the bargain tattoo that had appeared on his forearm. He was to deliver the letters after three weeks and to tell them where he went. Not any sooner or later. Bay must have known if Cassian or Nate or even Ash knew where Bay had gone they would do everything in their power to stop him. He suspected that was why he came to him. He knew Zev wouldn’t say a word and would be honor bound to keep his promise.

Sometimes he really, really hated being a good person.

—–

“How dare you come to me and tell me I can not have my daughter, Alvarez?” Demeytria said, quietly, her eyebrows raised. Her afro was wrapped in a dark blue fabric, the knot tied at the front of her head, and she wore a simple dress and trousers underneath.

Alvarez took a deep breath, blowing it out sharply. “We have enough on our plates, I think it’s best-”

Demeytria rose an eyebrow.

“You call all of us your daughters, Demeytria, and I think for right now you should focus on us. It could be any day, any hour that the High Lord is tired of us having control over his cities in this mountain. The girls are restless, they miss the sun. Some of them don’t remember what it looks like. But they remember what pain feels like, what blood looks like. The High Lord could bring in those Illyrians and I do believe they will side with him.”

Demeytria snorted. “Of course. Why let females have their freedom when you can serve for a tyrant?” Alvarez nodded. Demeytria chewed on her thumb, shaking her head. “I have done so much for you girls. You are my daughters, Rez. All of you,” Alvarez’s heart warmed at that, “but I have a duty to Maze”

“I hope I am staying within my rights when I say this, Demeytria, but Maze hasn’t seen you since she was born. I think she can simply wait a few more days so you can have something to give her. A future, a safe and promising one. Not the rumors she’s heard about you all her life. You are not that person.”

“Aren’t I? Where do I draw the line, Alvarez.” Demeytria slid over and Alvarez joined her on the couch, pulling her legs under her. A worry line worked it’s way onto her forehead as Demeytria spoke again. “Where does the line already lay? At what point do I become this person, at what point am I no better than the people festering in this hellhole or the High Lord himself?”

Alvarez paused. She thought about it and bit her lip, hugging her knees. Where was the line? It had been blurred her entire life. She thought about Cyrian, herself, and what Demeytria was saying. She thought about the High Fae and the High Lord, who ruled them. “You cross the line when you forget every person you’re fighting for. When you forget what you look like under your mask.”

Demeytria smiled. “Enough of this mushiness we have work that must be done.” Alvarez nodded and left Demeytria to her thoughts, but at least she kept her promise to Maze and Cyrian. She just didn’t know how long it would last.

——

Maze shoved the vase off the drawer, but it didn’t make her feel any better. Her fists shook at her sides and she screamed, slamming them down on the drawer, the dull pain a distant thing in her mind. The door opened and closed behind her and the smell of mountains and rain and smoke filled her senses. She growled. “Get out, prick.”

“Isn’t this my room, too, little minx?”

Maze scowled at the nickname and she wished she could throw the broken vase at his head. She spun around and looked at Cyrian, leaning back on the drawer, trying to be casual. “You look constipated.” Cyrian smirked.

“You look stupid.” Maze bit back uselessly and Cyrian frowned, crossing his arms. Silence passed between them.

“Speak up.” Cyrian gestured. “We honestly don’t have all day.”

“Adrien broke up with me,” Maze whispered, sitting in the only chair in their room. She pulled her knees into her chest, biting down on her lips. “He just broke up with me. After two years he just-”

“Broke up with you?” Cyrian offered and Maze scowled.

“Tania didn’t break up with you she married you. She didn’t say you were in love with someone else.”

Cyrian chuckled softly and shook his head. “Mazakynn, you never met her. In fact, I actually was with you while trying to be with her. The timeline is a very complicated thing and I wasn’t a very good person. I was just opening up to her and we were navigating that pesky bond. She told me that I could be with whoever I wanted and I told her the same. She told me to leave and I did and the first person I went to was you. Not because you were some terrible rebound, but because I wanted light. And you are light.”

Maze looked up, waiting for him to continue. “After I came back she said welcome home.” Cyrian rolled his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. “She asked where I was and I said I was with you. And she nodded and smiled, actually smiled, and ask me if I was in love with you. I said no.” Maze’s heart sunk. “I said that I loved you. I said that I’ve loved you for quite sometime, but at that time I used a different word for it. She said she understood and she did, I know she did. Then she asked if I was in love with her and I said yes. Because I was. I was very in love with her, I just didn’t know what the word meant.”

Maze blinked.

“Love isn’t sex, Mazakynn, and it’s not the mating bond. It’s your own creation. I don’t believe that you can be in love with two people at the same time and I think Adrien realizes this. You love him in your own way and you should figure that out. But you’re not in love with him.”

“I’m in love with you.” Maze whispered. “That’s what he said. That I needed to be with the person that I was in love with, someone who gets all my secrets and lies. Someone who gets me. And he saw it. My own mate saw that I was in love with you. And you just said-”

“Enough,” Cyrian said, putting his hand up. Maze got up and she walked over to him and Cyrian watched her. “You are only seventeen, Maze, we’re all just children here. I, for one, am a very emotionally tired child. I think it’s nice that we’ve all experienced or are currently experience love, but if you expect me to tell you I’m in love with you I can’t say it.”

Maze stepped back, but Cyrian cupped her cheek, pulling her closer. “But I can say you’re the brightest light in my life.”

“What if that’s not enough for me?” Maze whispered, standing up on her toes.

“That’s for you to decide. You’re going to have to wait for me, Maze, because if I ever do allow myself to be in love again I won’t do it when you’ve just broken up with your mate. I won’t do it when my sister is in danger and I won’t do it when there’s a revolution coming. I won’t do it when I still miss my wife with every passing moment, when I can’t look at you the way I want to look at you without feeling like I’m betraying her and myself. When I say I’m in love with you I don’t want drama in my life.”

“There’s always drama,” Maze whispered but she nodded. Cyrian pressed his lips against her forehead, brushing her temple with his thumb. “What word did you use? With Tania?”

Cyrian smiled against her temple and pulled away. “Lighthouse. You’re my lighthouse, Maze”

———-

Bay followed the female through the camp with a hand on a throwing knife at his side. His eyes darted around as they walked. Freezing rain pelted against his skin as they reached her home. She turned around and faced him when she reached her door. “You should leave. Forget about David Odium.”

Bay searched her face. “What aren’t you telling me.” His eyes went to the blade at her hand and his eyes narrowed. “You’re holding that correctly. I’m willing to bet you could disarm that male that attacked you, right? It’s why there was no fear on your face.”

A smile ghosted her lips. “Very perceptive.”

A chill went down his spine and he tightened his hold on the throwing knife. His instincts sharpened but he held back from pulling the blade on her. She had been attacked. He wasn’t going to put his hands on her out of paranoia. What if it was his illness though, not his instincts at all?

Zev had told him, there were females in the camp, some who were dark and dangerous, who answered to his father; willingly and eagerly to protect their families through any means necessary. Are you one of them?

“Forget about your father, Baylor Perditus. Return to your home. And to the Commander.”

His blood froze over and he pulled the blade out of it’s sheath and pointed it at her. “How do you know who I am,” he demanded. “No one has that name.”

She gave him a small smile. “I knew your mother. A wild cat, that one. She did some very bad things to make sure your father never got his hands on you. Cauldron knows what he would do with a prodigy with seven siphons.” Her smile twisted bitterly and she sighed. “Although it would seem her actions were for naught. You’re here anyway.”

Bay’s heart stopped clean in his chest and he gripped his blade harder before he dropped it. He didn’t speak, he didn’t trust his voice to not break. He couldn’t leave. He not only had promised his mother, but when he got here, the conditions… he couldn’t leave David Odium up on that pedestal.

He swallowed and ran his hands through his bangs, pulling the damp strands out of his eyes. “Are you going to tell him I’m here?”

“Will you kill me if I say ‘yes’?” Bay frowned. He didn’t want to kill her. She was a tie to his mother, in whatever way. She stepped forward, pressing her throat to the side of his knife, not deep enough to cut, but deep enough to leave a red line and indentation. “Your mother was so much more than my friend. I loved her, fiercely.”

He saw her eyes soften and turned far away. “I remember you. You were always climbing on things, you know? Even though you couldn’t fly like the other children, you got yourself high up in those trees. You told us you wanted to touch the sky and we had to coax you down with sweets.”

His throat went thick and he felt his fingers start to shake so he lowered the blade. “Enough. Please. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I won’t tell him you’re here,” she whispered, her hand resting on his face. “It’s the least I could do for Montse. But if I am asked directly, I won’t lie.” He could hear how much it pained her to say that. “I have my own child I need protected, you understand?” She exhaled with a shaky breath. “If things go wrong, I can’t help you.”

Bay blinked up at her and he nodded. “I understand. I couldn’t ask you to put me over your child.” He paused and took a deep breath. “If..if I’m still here, after I get what I need to done, will you tell me more about her? I don’t- I don’t remember anything about her.”

She studied him before giving him a sweet smile. She lowered her hand to his and squeezed it. “You are so much like her, Baylor.”

“Please. Don’t call me that. Call me Bay.”

“Bay,” she nodded. “Call me Alyx.” Her smiled turned wolfish. “It’s short for Alyxandrya. It would seem you take after me in that regard.” The name struck a cord. He remembered that name, somewhere in the far reaches of his mind. But when he tried clawing for it, it slipped further out of reach.

“When you say she was so much more than a friend…” Bay hesitated, “How well did you know her?”

“She was my mate,” she whispered.

Tears slid down his cheeks and he covered his mouth. “I am so sorry you lost her.”

“You lost her too.” Tears slid down her own cheek, getting lost in the rain. “I wanted to raise you, Bay, in her stead. But she wanted you safe and far, far away from David. She had an agreement with some of the people in the camp she had left you at. You were supposed to be happy.”

“I am happy,” he lied.

—–

*“I asked you to do one thing!” Adrien screamed as Maze and Cyrian walked out of their room in new clothes. Cyrian gave Adrien an unimpressed look as he walked down the steps, Maze trailing behind him. Adrien stomped after them and slammed Cyrian against the wall and Cyrian sighed. This was it. This was the drama he was tired of.

“You’re not going, Maze.” Adrien said, turning to her. Maze crossed her eyes and glared at him.

“You forfeited the right to tell me what to do when you broke up with me. You forfeited the right to have control over my actions when I stopped caring how they would affect you.”

“That’s not how to start a healthy friendship.” Cyrian commented drily, Adrien’s hand still around his throat. “If you could please go an entire day without choking me, Adrien, it would be appreciated.” Adrien glared at him and Cyrian shoved him back, freeing himself.

A door opened down the hall and all heads turned as Aurora walked out, her legs shaking. “See, look, all your shouting as woken up Sleeping Beauty.” Cyrian says, looking Aurora up and down. “Welcome back to the land of the waking, Aurora.”

Aurora gave him a dry look, stumbling over to Maze. Maze caught her and wrapped her arms around her waist and Aurora winced, but leaned into her friend, tears running down her cheeks. Cyrian sighed, but didn’t stop them, and neither did Blake from where he was standing.

“I’m sure both of you have plenty to catch up on, but we have something to do.”

“They’re going to Atropine and Demeytria,” Adrien said and Blake leaned off the wall. Cyrian grunted and closes his eyes as words of argument were flung at him.

“Who?” He heard Aurora whisper and Maze whispered back to her and Aurora’s knees started shaking harder. She swayed to the side, but didn’t let Maze go, pressing her lips to her ear. “Be careful, Maze.” Aurora pulled away and walked over to Blake, who immediately picked her up bridal style and took her back to her room.

“Hasn’t she had enough sleep?” Cyrian asked and Aurora peered over Blake’s shoulder and lifted her middle finger to Cyrian with a smile. Cyrian grinned back, showing all of his teeth. Aurora raised her other middle finger before burying her face in Blake’s chest. “I like her more than the rest of you. Let’s go.”

Maze looked over at Cyrian and she grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I’m scared.”

“Yeah. I sensed that,” Cyrian replied, before yanking them both into his shadows before Adrien could stop them. He let Maze cling to his arm, because the smallest part of him was scared of facing his mother, too.  
***

*“How does she know if you’re here?” Maze asked, still clinging to Cyrian’s arm. Cyrian looked down at her, brushing his thumb along her hairline, muttering. “She sees me.”

“Well she has eyes.” Maze gave him a sarcastic look, which caused Cyrian to snort as Alvarez walked around the corner, arms crossed, eyebrows pinched tight.

“Beautiful eyes, may I add. But that’s not what he meant. I see things. Little things, right before they happen. I saw Cyrian winnow here and I saw that man attack Adrien before he actually did. Usually it has to be about a person I care about, but if it’s a general thing like a female in pain or in need I see it.”

Alvarez flung her arms around Cyrian’s neck and jumped up, wrapping her legs around him. Cyrian scowled as Alvarez nuzzled his cheek, squeezing him into a hug. “Hug me back, stupid,” Alvarez grunted and Cyrian sighed, hugging her back quickly before nearly dropping her flat on her back.

Alvarez sighed and she pinched his side, but Cyrian’s facial expression didn’t change. Alvarez waved him off, facing Maze. “He’s not a hugger,” Maze laughed softly and Alvarez shrugged, dusting off her trousers.

“He will be soon enough.”

“I will not.” Cyrian wrinkled his nose at them.

“Yes you will be.” Both of them said at the same time and shared a glance. Alvarez’s shoulders relaxed and she reached over and linked fingers with Maze, pulling her closer. “I like her,” Alvarez nodded and Cyrian scowled.

“How dreadful,” He drawled as both of them walked in front of him, arm and arm linked, hands swinging between them. He heard his name a few times followed by small giggles and glances back at him. “Cauldron, you are both so annoying.” Cyrian narrowed his eyes at them as they both looked to each other, before blowing him a kiss.

He swatted at the air impatiently.

“I know why you’re here.” Alvarez said, still holding onto Maze. She looked back at him, her hand tightening around Maze’s, before she spoke again. “It’s a stupid idea, Cy, but I hope you’re ready.”

Cyrian nodded and Alvarez rose her eyebrows. “He wouldn’t care if you died, Rez. If any of you died.”

“And you do?” Alvarez asked.

Cyrian nodded, walking forward and sliding between them. He froze before placing his arms around their shoulders, tapping Maze’s temple, before grabbing Alvarez’s hand. “Don’t bank on it all the time, but right now I care.”

Alvarez grinned and Cyrian winnowed them.

—–

Aurora felt like nothing in his arms as he carried her to his room. Her long fingers traced shapes against his chest. He sat her on his bed and pulled his chair up to her and sat in it. He pressed his hands on her thighs and looked at her dark eyes. “I missed you, Aurora. I missed you, so much.”

She cocked her head, her ebony hair spilling over her shoulder in a black wave, and she smiled. “I missed you too, Sunshine.”

He dropped his head and fought a smile. He let out a breath and she ran her fingers through his hair. He lifted his gaze back to hers and felt a tear run down his face. She brought her hand to cup his face as she wiped the tear away with her thumb. “You big baby.”

=Blake brought his hand up to wrap his fingers around her wrist. Her pulse was steady beneath his thumb. His other hand weaved her hair behind her delicately pointed ear. “I’m in love with you, Aurora.” A tear slid down her own cheek as she smiled wider. “With every inch of me. All that I am belongs to you.”

She leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. Her scent, lotus blossoms and honey, enveloped his senses. She pulled from him and looked into his eyes. “I love you too, Blake.”

A soft knock sounded at his door and he stood and answered it. Tarus stood outside. “I got your message, what did you-“

Their eyes went to Aurora and widened. “Aurora.”

Tarus pushed past him and went to their sister and pulled her into a hug. Blake heard them whisper to Aurora something from the native language of the Dawn Court. Aurora kissed Tarus’s cheek and said, “I missed you too, Tarus. So, so much.”

Tarus sunk to their knees and Aurora braced the sides of their face and pressed her lips to their forehead as tears slipped down her cheeks. “I had wanted to kill Ash when he and High Lady Dacia brought you bleeding to my camp. He was supposed to keep you safe.”

“It’s not his fault,” Aurora whispered. “Ash tried to get me to not go. He wanted to keep me safe from my father. But I made him let me, I took the choice away from him. If he hadn’t been there, I would have died.” She settled further into the bed and took Tarus’s hands in hers and squeezed them. “What have you been up to? Anything interesting happen?”

Tarus shuffled as color rose on his brown cheeks. Aurora’s eyes lit up and she poked his cheek. “Tell me.”

Their nose wrinkled. “I kissed Zevakyn,” he said in a low voice. He swallowed and she squealed. “And…he kissed me back.”

She clasped her hands and wiggled around on the bed. Blake laughed, “You are such a girl.” She stuck her tongue out at him and Blake smiled at her. It felt as if it was the first smile he’d had in months. He flicked his eyes to Tarus. “Zev is a good male, Tarus. Treat his heart tenderly.”

—–

*“They need to feel pain,” Vaida’s voice was strained, her back curved forward, her eyes slightly closed. But she held herself as tall as she could, looking around. A few of her sisters nodded, but a few still shared skeptical looks. Vaida herself wasn’t entirely sure of this plan. No one entirely trusted Atropine and her blood lust. “They’ve made us feel pain all of our lives. Before we were born, before our parents were born. Women, child, taken and beaten, chained and wings clipped. Rights forfeited the moment they were born. Years, centuries, we have been serving Rhysand. He has been sitting on a throne made of our blood and bones, so why should he not feel pain?”

Vaida stood straighter. “Why should he go home with a loving family waiting for him? Why should he be able to fly, to be an Illyrian, and yet forget we exist. Every time he flies, every time the Commander or Shadowsinger fly, we can not. Every time they take Illyrians into battle they die, yet who comes back home?”

“All very true things,” Alvarez said, waltzing into the room. She crossed her arms, looking over at Vaida. “They live a privileged life while we suffer, but the one thing we have to hold onto is our morals. He has children, Vaida.”

Vaida froze. “So did I, Rez. At least I would have, you know, if things were different.”

Some Illyrians shuffled on their feet. Alvarez grabbed Vaida’s arm and pulled her aside, pressing her close. “Mosem’s child was-”

“A child. My child.” Vaida said, her eyes narrowing.

Alvarez nodded. She looked back over at their sisters and looked back at Vaida. “You have to let them help.” Alvarez said and she opened the door again and Cyrian walked in, followed by Maze. A few girls scrambled back, pressing their backs against the wall. Whether it was because Cyrian was a man or the fact he was Atropine’s Son wasn’t clear.

“He’s going to help. He’s a good ally.”

“He’s a psychopath.” Vaida shook her head, but didn’t back down from Cyrian. She had seen him cry. She knew he wasn’t heartless, she knew he had some emotions, but he was still a psychopath who knew how to tear wings from bodies and yank heads from shoulders.

“Vaida, is it?” Cyrian asked and Vaida nodded. “You’ve been promised things no one will take away from you, but in return you can’t take away what you plan to take away from the High Lord. You can not touch his children.”

“Easy for you to say,” Vaida whispered, hugging her arms around her waist. Her large golden nose ring glowed bright against her dark brown skin and her vest squeezed her curves.

“Yes. It is. Because despite the heartless bastard I am if I had a child I would find out a way to give myself a heart. Rhysand fucked us all over, but his children have done nothing to us.”

“Us?” Vaida asked, stepping forward. “What us?”

Cyrian narrowed his eyes. “His children will live a very privileged life just like he does and we don’t have the power to take him off that throne. Even if we did, who would we put on it? Who would stand against Rhysand and his loyal followers when he came back again and again? Who would survive the High Lord power? What about if the other Courts decided to stick up for Rhysand?”

“Illyrians can take down High Fae.”

“But can we?” Cyrian stepped closer to Vaida, before turning to the rest of them. “You girls all have marvelous talents and I may blink an eye at the threat a few of you pose. You will not only be battling the High Fae, you will be battling Illyrians with backwards thinking. They rather get honor from a ruler who uses their bodies as shields than die protecting you against him. Today is not the day we change that. Today is the day you all get your freedom.”

Alvarez nodded and she smiled, squeezing Maze to her side. “I can’t give you what you lost, no one can.” Cyrian looked back at Alvarez, something flooding his eyes. Emotion. Alvarez would make a joke out of it another time. “But I can get you Hybern and once you have it no one will take another thing away from you.”

“You preach a lot, Cyrian Infernos.” The room froze. Maze froze and she gripped Alvarez harder, managing to squeeze behind her and Vaida as Demeytria walked into the large room, looking every bit like Maze. “I hope that you do not lie as your mother does. There’s only one way to find out.” Demeytria walked forward and she stared up at Cyrian, placing her hand on his chest.

“Let’s have a chat, Atropine’s Son.” Demeytria froze, looking over at Alvarez and Vaida and her hand went to her stomach, breath leaving her lungs in a second. “You too, Mazakynn.”

***

*Atropine spun the pen around between her fingers, her feet propped up on the desk. She smiled softly, her dark skin gleaming in the office light. She laughed and bit the end of the pen when Devlon walked in, stopping short. Atropine looked him up and down, twirling his pen even more. “Husband.”

Atropine looked him over and she smirked and bit the tip of the pin when she noticed his wings were gone. She hummed and leaned back in his chair, crossing her ankles. “Ouch.”

“Wife.” Devlon said tightly, his face managing to go pale. Atropine’s eyes twinkled. “You took a long time coming to me.”

Atropine nodded with a slight pout to her lips, tucking a curl behind her ear that had fallen loose from her braid. “I know. Forgive me, Devlon, I’ve been a bit busy.”

“Mosem’s head busy?” Devlon asked, sitting on the edge of his desk. “Heads are your specialty, Atropine? It was that cruelty that attracted me to you.”

“No it wasn’t.” Atropine gripped the pen tighter. “Where is my son?”

“You tell me.” Devlon braced his palm on the desk, looking Atropine up and down. “Aren’t you the parent who cares more for him?”

“You locked him away.” Atropine’s voice strained as she slammed her palms down on the table. “You took our baby and locked him away!”

“You took him and made him a monster.”

“A force to be reckoned with.” Atropine corrected, her lips twitching. Her nose burned.

“Why did we have him, Atropine? He hates us. He fears us. Cyrian-”

“Don’t say his name.”

“I named him,” Devlon whispered and Atropine sneered. She shot to her feet and Devlon stood up, watching as his wife rounded the table, her feet not making a sound on the wood floor.

“He loves me,” Atropine’s voice cracked. “Cyrian loves me. More than you ever have.” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him forward, before throwing Devlon across the room. Devlon grunted, his back slamming against the wall, and he laughed softly.

“Have you come here to kill me, Atropine? Kill the last person in Prythian that could hurt your baby boy? I have news for you, lovely wife of mine, you’d have to kill yourself.” Atropine’s lips trembled again and she walked forward, slamming her hands wildly on Devlon’s chest, growling.

“Are you going to cry?” He asked, twisting her wrists, bending her back and staring down at her.

Atropine spat in his face and jabbed the pen through his eye, before kicking behind his knees. She took a deep breath and yanked the pen out, slamming it into his other eye, blood squirting onto her chest. Devlon fell to his knees and Atropine gripped his shoulder, pushing his jaw shut so hard he bit off his own tongue.

Pure fury entered her eyes as she gripped the back of Devlon’s hair. “In this world a being who wants to be powerful can not cry. Especially if that being is a woman.” Atropine spun around and tugged with a supernatural strength that sent Devlon’s head dropping to the ground.

She gasped, her hands drenched in blood, and she stared at the wall. She didn’t look at Devlon. She took a deep breath and turned around, looking at her husband’s dead body. “You also can not let a person weaken you. Especially not a man.”

“Sleep tight, Devlon.”

Atropine stepped over his body.

——-

Adrien sat on the roof and stared out at the sky. He pressed his temples with the palms of his hands and let out a breath. “She’ll be okay, she’ll be safe with Cyrian.” He whispered it like a mantra. Over and over again. “He won’t let anything happen to her.”

She was right, he didn’t have any say over what she did or who she did it with. He had flinched with she said that to him; he just needed her safe. How was she going to be safe around Atropine or her mother?

She hated him, or at least was very, very angry at him. “Good,” he said hoarsely, to no one; maybe to the sky or his shadows. He didn’t know. “It’s what I deserve.” He hurt her. He hadn’t meant to. He just wanted her to have what her heart wanted and he wanted that too. If that made him selfish, made her hate him, so be it. Perhaps it would help him move on. He snorted derisively.

“Got room?”

“Go away, Nate.”

His brother just came over and sat next to him, flinging his legs over the side of the roof. He leaned back on his palms and squinted at the sky. “She doesn’t hate you, Idiot, and no, you don’t deserve to be hated. Although you sure make it hard, most of the time.”

He side-glanced him. “Not even by you?”

Nate was quiet, his face unreadable. “I don’t hate you, Adrien,” he said after a while. “I may be pissed as hell at you, but I don’t hate you. You’re my brother.” Adrien opened his mouth but Nate cut him off. “You mention my mate right now and I’m throwing you off the side of this fucking building.”

Adrien’s blood ran cold and he switched the topic. “You remember when we were little and you used to paint my face?”

Nate’s lips twitched. “We were really close, then, weren’t we? Back before you became an asshole.” He wasn’t wrong; He had been so different before his abilities manifested, he had trouble with his shadows affecting him more than his brothers did. “What were we, six and eight?”

“Yeah,” Adrien said softly. “You think we’ll ever be that close again?”

Nate scratched his face. “Well, we’re pretty young and we live forever. Odds are bound to be in your favor.”

——–

*“Mazakynn.” Demeytria whispered, her hands digging into her lap. Maze still wouldn’t look at her, trapped safely between Cyrian and Alvarez’s bodies on the adjacent couch, with Vaida standing behind her. “Maze, baby.” Demeytria reached forward and Cyrian held out his hand.

“Don’t touch her.”

Alvarez gave Cyrian a warning look, reaching over a squeezing his knee. Cyrian glared at Alvarez and Alvarez rose her eyebrows, widening her eyes until Cyrian’s glare dropped. These new feelings he was having were getting in the way.

Demeytria nodded and she scratched her nails behind her ear and Maze noticed, bringing her own nimble but strong fingers to her ear. Demeytria let a small smile grace her thick lips. Maze looked away again, looking at Cyrian’s shirtsleeve.

“Talk to her at least.” Cyrian snarled softly and Vaida plucked him on the back of the head. Cyrian spun around and snarled at her instead, glaring. “No.” He said simply, before turning around. Alvarez gave Vaida a warning look. Her brother had changed. It was a miracle Vaida was still breathing.

Demeytria gulped. “You were so beautiful when you were born. You’re so beautiful now.” Demeytria sat up straighter. “You never looked like him. I wasn’t where I am now when I was with your father, Maze. I was just a girl.”

“I was happy to be pregnant even if my situation wasn’t the best. When I found out I swore to myself to be someone, to be something and to give us something. When you were born Dominic was furious you were my little girl and not a boy. You had a head full of curls and that was the only thing I saw before he took you from me and threw me out.”

Maze looked away from Cyrian and to her mother, whose knuckles had gone almost white from the way she squeezed her hands. “It wasn’t fair. I was good, I was good, and you were mine. You were my daughter and I stayed at his door begging to see you, to hold you. I needed you, Maze, my baby girl. He told me that if I didn’t leave he would kill you and I believed him. He didn’t see this beautiful gift, he saw a girl. A girl who would be his rightful heir and that was my fault for not giving him a son. Because no matter what happened you were born first and I could not give him a reason to kill you.”

Demeytria swallowed loud enough for all of them to hear. “So I became bad, very bad. I became a villain, a monster, a killer. I became something Dominic would fear so if he ever thought of killing you he would know I would kill him first. But I still couldn’t get you, I couldn’t hold you. You grew up on stories of me, stories of my murders, my misdeeds here in this Court.”

Alvarez closed her eyes and Vaida bowed her head. “I had to do something good again. Not for me, not so much so I wouldn’t lose myself, but so others wouldn’t lose this battle. I was free, as free as I could be, and I extended that freedom. I started saving girls and hid my good acts under my cruel ones so Dominic wouldn’t think I had stopped caring about you. I saved girl after girl and one day I decided to do more. Seventeen years later, a hundred and seven girls later, here we are.”

Maze sniffled, tears running down her cheeks. She looked away again and Cyrian reached up, wiping her tears away with his thumb. She coughed and turned away from her mother, facing Cyrian entirely. “Did you know?”

Cyrian shook his head. “No.”

Maze nodded and she turned back to Demeytria and it hurt to see how much she looked like her mother. “Did they all make it? The girls?” Maze asked. “Were they replacements for me?” More tears came and went.

Demeytria shook her head quickly, pressing her lips together. “Never. You are my daughter, Mazakynn, you are mine. They are too. We only have ninety-three now, but it’s more than none.”

“The missions you send them on,” Cyrian said, his eyebrows pinched. “They’re stupid.”

“Yes. They are. It was Vaida’s idea. She is a cruel twisted thing with a very pretty face and a big heart. I couldn’t just be feared, they had to be too. My name had to mean something, the markings had to mean something. In this Court, you have to be strong and deadly or you are weak and dead.”

Maze pursed her lips and she slowly got up and Demeytria followed her. Maze put up her hand, shaking her head. “Go to Hybern. Go and don’t come back. I don’t know if I want to follow you.” Maze slowly stepped back and she stared at her mother, swallowing tightly. “Ninety-four.”

Demeytria’s face softened as her daughter stepped out of the room with Vaida in tow. She turned back to Cyrian and Alvarez, eyebrows raised. Cyrian grabbed Alvarez’s hand. “My sister comes with me. You’ve done a wonderful job, but she and Maze come with me.”

Demeytria looked over at Alvarez and she nodded, before rushing over to her and throwing her arms around her neck. Alvarez smiled and nuzzled her face in Demeytria’s neck, squeezing tightly. “Thank you for saving me, Demeytria. For everything, truly, thank you. I will never be able to repay you, but I want my brother now.”

Demeytria smiled, patting her back. “There is no debt owed, Alvarez.”

—-

After a while, Nate left his brother to brood in peace. He wandered back through his home, ignoring the sad look his mother gave him and the quiet look his father gave him. He went to his room and looked at his bed.

It was past two in the afternoon but he climbed back in and pulled Baylor’s pillow to his chest and breathed in the lingering scent of cedar and cloves. It filled his senses and ran through his veins. He laid on his pillow and stared at the spot his mate had been sleeping.

A memory pulled at him.

Baylor’s lips curled into a faint smile, his eyes still closed. Nate could see his long lashes framing cheeks. “You’re staring, Nathaniel.”

Nate smiled and leaned in and brushed his lips with his own. “Can you blame me? You’re in my bed- in my clothes- and you’re beautiful.” Baylor’s cheeks and ears reddened from his blush and Nate leaned over to kiss the shell of his ear. “Fuck, I love when they do that,” he whispered.

Baylor’s eyes fluttered open and he pressed his hand to Nate’s chest, pushing him back to the bed. Baylor climbed on top of him and pulled Nate’s hooded sweatshirt off of himself and leaned down to kiss him just beneath his jaw. “I love you,” Baylor whispered against his skin. “Always have, always will.” Baylor rose again, meeting his eyes with his relentless stubbornness. “It’ll always be you, Nathaniel; No matter what. No one else. You’re it for me.”

Nate rolled onto his back and slammed his eyes shut and squeezed them, stopping the tears before they started. A soft knock hit his door and Nate ground out, “Go the fuck away, Mother.”

His door opened and his silver haired mother- Leta- came in and sat next to him and brushed his hair out of his face. She cupped his cheek and smiled down at him. “Oh, Pumpkin. I hate seeing you like this.”

Then go away. “Must you and Mom keep calling me that?” Nate said irritably. “I have a name, you know.”

She flicked his nose. “First Blake, then you, then Adrien. My boys have been hurting and I just don’t know what to do.” She swallowed thickly, her grey eyes unbelievably sad. “I feel like I failed you.”

He got up on his elbows and took her hand and squeezed it. “You’re didn’t. You may be our mother but you aren’t the Mother, you know. You can’t control everything.”

She smiled faintly. “It’s just like you, Nathaniel. You’re the one hurting and yet you’re comforting everyone else.” He rolled his eyes and she planted a kiss in the middle of his forehead. “Bay doesn’t know what he gave up.”

He pulled back and looked at her beneath furrowed brows. “He knows exactly what he gave up,” Nate said harshly. “He did it because he loves me.” His voice broke on the last word and he started crying. His mother pulled him into her and she cupped the back of his head and rocked him.

He hadn’t been embraced like this since he was fourteen years old and his grandfather broke his wrist. “I want to hate Adrien,” He said into her shoulder. “I want to hate him so much, Mom. He’s the reason for all of this.” He pulled away from her and collapsed against his bed. “Why can’t Baylor be fucking selfish? For once in his goddamn life.”

——-

*“I’m going to miss you,” Vaida said, sitting on the desk in their shared room. Alvarez smiled and kissed her cheek, slinging her back over her shoulder. “Seriously, Rez. Do you have to go? You know I’m closer to you than the other girls.”

Alvarez wrapped her arms around her neck and Vaida sighed, looping her arms around her waist. “I know. I know. There’s something about Cyrian Infernos. He is good looking, I suppose.” Alvarez laughed and she tied her hair back, shaking her head.

“I think he’s called for.”

“I know. How long do you think that’s gonna last?” Vaida leaned back on the desk, kicking her feet up. Alvarez smiled and she shrugged.

“Forever, I hope.”

“Forever is a long time.” Vaida sighed.

“There was a time we were never promised forever.”

Vaida coughed to hold back her sniffle and she flung herself at Alvarez one last time, rocking back and forth as they nearly hugged each other to death. Alvarez kissed her cheek and ducked out of the room as quickly as possible so she could slide under Cyrian’s arm, wrapping it around her shoulders. Alvarez stood up on her toes and Cyrian sighed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s find a home.”

“Will you braid my hair?” Alvarez asked, curving her arm behind Cyrian’s back to squeeze Maze’s arm. Maze broke into laughter and she shook her head, snorting and looking up at Cyrian.

“You braid hair?”

“Tell anyone and I’ll put a tight ass knot in your head, Mazakynn.”

They both snorted as they left Demeytria’s hide out. They made it through the first ring hidden deep within before footsteps sounded. Cyrian froze, his grip tightening on Maze and Alvarez as his mother walked around the corner, covered in blood. His nostrils flared.

His father.

Cyrian’s knees went weak and both girls grunted, managing to keep him on his feet. “You killed him.” Cyrian breathed and Atropine looked up, little drops of blood on her face like freckles, the ends of her hair dripping with it. Her eyes widened and then went to Alvarez and Maze and Cyrian managed to tug them both behind him.

Not again.

She wasn’t taking them away from him again.

Alvarez started forward, but Cyrian shot his arm out, gripping her side tightly. She snarled and dug her nails into his back, peering over his shoulder, as Maze stayed behind him. He could tell both of them were itching for a fight. He wanted to roll his eyes but resisted the urge.

“He hurt you.” Atropine whispered and Alvarez snorted.

“So did you,” Cyrian stepped back just so he wouldn’t step forward. “Every day, mother, you hurt me. You made me stronger, but you made me weaker. You took things from me just as you gave things to me. You are so unstable in your own life that you didn’t let me love anyone, because you thought I wouldn’t love you. You are so breakable so you made sure to tell me I should never be broken. You think that you’re unlovable, mother, but you aren’t. You just can’t be this monster.”

Atropine stepped forward and so did Cyrian. He kept his chin high, putting his shadows up to keep Maze and Alvarez back. Atropine looked up at him, reaching her hands up to touch him, but Cyrian turned his face to the side. “You tortured me like you tortured your enemies just so people couldn’t hurt me, mother, but you hurt me more than they ever could. You did the thing my father did then you gave me back to him. You psychologically tortured me since I was six years old and I am fucked because of it.”

Cyrian sniffled and he forced a smile onto his face, reaching his hand up and wiping at his eyes. “I can’t be around you anymore. I can’t live like this anymore. I need more. I need better. You can’t give me that, mom, and it’s not okay. But you’ll be okay. You’ll be okay without me. Let me go, mother. Let me walk away.”

“I love you, Cyrian.” Atropine whispered and Cyrian shook his head.

“I think you think you do. But I don’t think you know what love really is. True love. I know what it is and it feels really, really good to be loved, Atropine.” She winced, cringing away from him. “I hope you do find it, but you won’t find it with me. You lost that chance and I’m not sorry for it.”

Cyrian walked around his mother slowly and his shadows pulled Alvarez and Maze to his side. He looked back at his mother, hugging his girls to his chest and placing his chin on Alvarez’s head, closing his eyes as a tear ran down his face. “Let it go, Atropine. Let it all go.”

Cyrian winnowed them away, but Alvarez couldn’t resist the urge to lift up her middle finger in salute.

****

*Cyrian breathed in the fresh air. His face was wet with tears. They were cool to the touch and he had stopped trying to wipe them away. He didn’t need to. He didn’t need to hide his pain anymore. It was tiring. He was tired of being tired.

Demeytria contacted him. She would meet with Cassian and Cyrian wondered if she would take a piece of his flesh as a souvenir. The girls had their things packed, Thanatos’s had men withdrawn, albeit unwillingly, and his mother…

Atropine hadn’t killed anyone. Yet.

It was better than anyone could hope for. Cyrian sniffed and he cleared his throat, staring over the skyline. Somewhere out there his father’s cold, dead body lay. Cyrian never liked Devlon, in fact he dreamed of killing the monster in his dreams, unaware he slept under the roof of another monster. But Devlon was still his father and the little boy inside of him just wanted a father to love him.

If he were to ever admit it, he wanted a father like Azriel or Cassian. He hated them and he always would. He would always hate them for not hearing his screams when he was little. For meeting with Devlon over and over and not knowing he kept his son locked away. For knowing that Cyrian came out of the dark and lived with Atropine.

He would hate them for it, but he would let it go. Because hating them was tiring, too. He often wondered what would have happened if they saved him, but it was pointless. He was free now and that’s all that mattered. He also had everything that he let matter to him.

Cyrian laughed and he actually let himself smile. “You busy?” Maze shouted up at him and Cyrian peered over the side, shaking his head. Maze lifted off the ground and flew to the roof, landing beside him. She sat down and stared up at him. “Thank you.”

“Mhm.” Cyrian hummed. “Same,” He said. “For saving me. I’ll never tell anyone else, but I was scared. I didn’t know when the dark would let up and then Nate turned on that light…”

Maze blinked and she nodded. “Lighthouse.”

Cyrian looked back at her again and Maze snorted. “Nate talks to me sometimes you know. And you’re easy to read when you’re not so… uptight. How does it feel? To love so many people who are so different?”

Cyrian grunted. “Exhausting as hell.”

Maze laughed and Cyrian laughed back. Cyrian spread his arms and tilted his head back, taking a deep breath -

Then he screamed. It was more of a shout; one of joy, freedom, happiness. Cyrian started laughing again and he sat down, lying down on his back, folding his wings under him. “It hurts. These emotions, they hurt. My powers… it makes them hurt. The happiness, the smiles, the laughs. But it feels so good, Maze.”

“Don’t get soft on me now.” Maze poke his side and Cyrian rolled his eyes.

“He told me to be good to you.”

Silence.

“That’s rich coming from him.”

“He cares about you, Mazakynn. You’re a hard person not to care for. He just wants someone who loves him and he wants the same thing for you. He’s one of the dumbest people I have ever met in my life but he finally did a smart thing.”

Maze nodded.

“Where’s Alvarez?”

Cyrian smirked and he held up a finger. Maze watched as his shadows snaked out and dived off the roof, then moments later Alvarez appeared lying down next to Cyrian, her face tucked against his chest. She hummed. “How did you know?”

Maze laughed and Cyrian rolled his eyes. “Just be happy I’m letting you cuddle.” Alvarez nodded and she cuddled with her brother more, placing her hand on his chest.

“We’re not staying here with them. They’re too happy.” Alvarez whispered. “There’s this apartment that’s really nice. Two bedrooms.”

“Oh? Been busy have you?” Cyrian whispered back, reaching his other hand out slowly and leaving his palm skyward. He spread his fingers and Maze slowly slid her palm across his, before linking their fingers. Cyrian squeezed gently.

“I have, actually. Also, did you know Seraphim from Cretea are here?” Alvarez’s eyes lit up and she almost seemed giddy. “I can’t train with them-”

“Who said that?” Maze asked.

Alvarez sighed. “Oh, Maze. Sweet, innocent, Maze.”

“Not so sure on the innocent part, but go on.” Cyrian smirked. Alvarez shouted ‘Gross!’ at the same time Maze smacked Cyrian’s chest.

“If it’s about your wings that’s stupid, Alvarez. You’d still kick those males to the ground and back. And I need another girl there with me. It’s boring being by myself. We can be a triple threat.”

“Excuse me?” Cyrian asked with raised eyebrows.

“Shut up.” They both said.

Alvarez smiled and she nodded, staring up at the stars. “I’d like that, I think.”

Maze nodded back and she slid into Cyrian’s other side. The three of them stared up at the stars in Velaris. Alvarez fell asleep first, her face buried in Cyrian’s neck. Maze fell asleep with her face buried in Cyrian’s shoulder.

Cyrian didn’t sleep. He didn’t want to miss a moment of the beautiful stars and the feeling of love pounding through his body. But eventually his eyes closed and Cyrian Infernos had his first dream.

—–

Adrien pushed off the roof and went to find Alvarez after his shadows felt out Nate’s emotions. He had heard and felt his brother’s and mother’s conversation. He was responsible for so much pain; Nate, Bay, Zev, Maze, Cyrian. Mother knew how many other people.

He found her and Cyrian and Maze on another roof, sleeping. She must have heard him because she woke up, her dark eyes going to him and narrowing.

“I need to talk to you,” he said in less than a whisper; careful to not wake either Cyrian or Maze. Her eyes narrowed further and he swallowed. “Please.” It came out thickly and cracked and he closed his eyes and willed himself into indifference. He didn’t want her using his emotions against him.

He opened his eyes to find her standing in front of him. She was close enough he could see her freckles in the moonlight. She wordlessly held out her and hand he winnowed them away.

As soon as they reached, she let go of his hand and crossed her arms. “What do you want, Shadowsinger.”

“Cassian will give you what you want, I know he will. He wants to help the females.” She rose a brow and he stepped towards her. “And when your females go to rebuild and create your place, I want to go. To help.”

She blinked and then narrowed her eyes. “They don’t need a male’s help,” Alvarez snarled softly.

“They need all the help they can get,” Adrien said, his palms up. “It’s the logical choice. Your girls are survivors, yes, there is no doubt about that. But they need help. Let me come and help them. I’ve been to Hybern. I know the place inside and out and I can winnow and build. I’ll stay out of their way and only speak to them when spoken to.”

She studied his face beneath pinched brows; the moonlight bleeding into her dark hair. “Why do you want to help so badly, Adrien? What’s in it for you?”

Her uncertainty flickered in his shadows and he dipped his head and swallowed. “I have a lot to make up for, and, it’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re running,” She accused.

“Maybe I am,” he admitted. She blinked back surprise and he laughed ruefully. “I don’t lie; I never have. But you must know I am right, that your people need help.” She rose a brow and he gave her a half smile. “You wouldn’t be listening to me unless I had some semblance of a point.”

She hummed and tapped her chin. “I’ll think about it.” She held out a hand to him and he took it. “Now winnow me back to my brother.”

“Thank you,” He said, squeezing her hand.

“I said I would think about it, Adrien,” She warned. “I didn’t say yes.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”

He winnowed.

On the roof, he watched her curl back into Cyrian and go back asleep without so much as a second look at him. He glanced at Maze’s sleeping form before he winnowed away.

—-

Bay’s mind reeled as he walked back through the camps. Alyx had known his mother, had loved her- and him; and had lost both of them at the same time.

A scream jarred him from his thoughts and he palmed a throwing knife and ran. A child’s arm was held down against a beam of wood in the center of the camp, surrounded by so many people. If he intervened, he would lose any element of surprise and his plan would be obsolete.

A male went to bring a sword down on the child’s wrist and Bay flung the blade with deadly accuracy, straight for the male’s throat; his mind made up. Bay watched as he staggered back and fell to the ground choking on blood. HE was soon dead and the male holding the child’s arm whirled around in his direction.

The kid ran and Bay palmed two of his knives as he stalked through the crowd. They all gave him a wide berth, no doubt drawing the conclusion as to who he was. The male came towards him with his own blade and with a few maneuvers, Bay had the male dead on the ground.

Sounds came from the crowd as it parted, revealing a tall man with Ash Blond hair and hazel green eyes and three diagonal scars down his smiling face. His father. Bay threw a blade and it nearly got between his eyes before the male grabbed it at last second.

His eyes widened slightly as his face searched him. “Bring him in alive.”

The males swarmed him and Bay got to work, cutting each down like stalks of wheat. He killed and killed as each came at him. Blades managed to bite into him, cutting him shallowly, but he brought his own weapons down, dropping each dead.

His siphons glowed, his power flowing through him as he brought down death to each person his father sent after him. He could almost feel pieces of his soul chip with each he killed. He made it to his father, his head light, his magic depleted; he didn’t know how many dead. He didn’t dare turn around.

His father’s eyes were wide but he looked at him as if he were no more than a prize. He moved so fast, he pulled the resting blade out from his father’s sheath and stabbed him and twisted the blade.

His fathers eyes somehow widened further as blood spilled down Bay’s fingers. But a sharp pain cracked through the back of his skull and darkness pulled him under.

—-

Mor stiffened and she brought her hand to her stomach. Azriel was on his feet in seconds and down in front of her. “The baby?”

She looked at her friend with wide eyes and just nodded. “He’s coming, Az. Our son is coming.”

—–

He felt cold iron biting into his skin, felt cold air raising bumps on his skin. He could smell ash everywhere and it choked him. Wrong, wrong, wrong screamed in his head. Bay’s eyes fluttered open, the edges of his vision blurred. He squeezed his eyes shut and reopened them as he sat up.

He went for a weapon, anything, as his vision sharpened to see iron bars surrounding him. Cage. He was in a cage. He looked around himself before resing his eyes on the male in front of him. Bay leaned back and put his arms on his knees. “Hello, Father.”

“Hello, Baylor.”


	57. Chapter 57

Dacia walked through the small town, taking note of the eyes following after her. She stopped in front of the house and knocked on the door. A small female answered, her insect wings buzzing behind her. She looked up at Dacia with wide black eyes. Dacia smiled. “Is your parents home?”

She looked down and shuffled her feet. “Mommy can’t talk right now.” The girl looked back behind her and said low, “She’s..”

Dacia got down to her haunches and met the girl’s eyes. “Is your Mommy hurt?”

The girls eyes widened as she whispered, “You know?”

Dacia smoothed down the girl’s brown hair and smiled at her “I can heal her. You can trust me.”

The girl studied her with a weary gaze, her spindly, insect like features searching her for the lie that wasn’t there. It broke her heart, to see such weary distrust on a young child. “You promise?”

She nodded and said, “Yes. I swear it on my title. I can heal your mother.”

The door pushed further open and the girl led her back through the house to where a battered female laid resting in her bed. Splashes of blue and purple and black rested on her features and she was holding her arm. It was broken. It took everything in Dacia to stop the claws from appearing.

The female looked up at her and blanched, her bruises growing starker against her paling skin. “High Lady-“

Dacia came up to her and sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand into hers, letting her healing magic flow into the female. Dacia watched as the splashes faded from the female’s lightly puckered skin, her wings fliting behind her.

“I am so sorry, High Lady-“

Dacia pressed her lips into a firm line and shook her head. “No. You have nothing to be sorry for. Where’s your husband?”

“He- he’s not normally like this,” the female stuttered. “It’s just when he drinks, you understand. He’s a good male.”

A low growl sat in the bottom of her throat and she swallowed it down painfully, making a ball of anger sit in the pit of her stomach. Dacia wondered if people peddled the same excuses for her father. Not for the first time, Dacia wondered if people thought the same of her, that she was just like him. You are just like your father. Obviously, Blake thought the same or maybe it was just the grief that had him saying soul-deep painful things to her. She couldn’t stop thinking about those words. She stopped the tears before they came. She could not appear weak in front of her people.

Dacia squeezed the female’s hand and shook her head. “No. A good male doesn’t lay a hand on a female, even if there’s something in his system. Don’t make excuses for him. If you do, you’ll end up dead. Whether it’s a day or week or a century from now, if he doesn’t own up to his actions, they’ll keep happening.” She said it firmly, barely keeping the harshness out of her tone. “Think about your daughter if you can’t think about yourself. Do you really want a child growing up in an environment where she’s fearful of her own father?”

Tears slipped down the female’s cheeks and she shook her head silently. Dacia squeezed her hand and stood. “What’s your husband’s name and where is he?”

“Are you going to kill him?” she asked in a small voice.

Dacia shook her head. “No. Just want a word with him.” Dacia winced at the bite in her voice, especially as the female winced herself. Blake’s words started to rise in her head but she shut them down just as fast.

The female swallowed. “Renald. His name is Renald and he’s at the bar down the street.”

——-

Five days. He had been held and beaten and cut up. His entire body hurt. He had thought they would question him about Cassian or about Nesta even. Rhys, He was privy to plenty of information about all of the inner circle. But he was asked none. All questions were about him. His father had been so grossly interested in him. It was disturbing.

“You know the drill, Baylor,” a voice said. “Extend your arm.”

“You know the drill,” Bay said, flinching involuntarily at his name as he lifted his head and opened his eyes, smiling weakly. “I’m not doing shit if you keep calling me that.”

At this point, his name had become nothing but shards of glass in his ears, making them bleed each time it was said. He was debating about proving his point by tattooing his fucking name on the male’s forehead.

The male sneered as Bay’s line of vision went to a syringe in a male’s hand, filled with silvery liquid. What the hell’s in that? He had been injected with that shit every few hours and he tried to understand what it was but got nothing. He swallowed back panic and narrowed his eyes and held out his arm reluctantly. The male reached in through the cage to grab him. Bay quickly grabbed the male’s arm and twisted it, shattering it. “Have fun trying to write your name, jackass.”

The male screamed and pulled his arm to his chest, snarling at him. Bay smirked, “Same thing over the last few days. You’re fucking idiots for expecting a different outcome.” He felt an arm come through the cage behind him and wrap around his neck, pinning him back against the bars. Bay thrashed against him. “I’m going to kill you when I get out of here,” he ground out.

The male hissed as Bay cut his fingernails into the male’s forearm; he drew blood. Good. A sweet smell enveloped his senses as a damp rag was placed over his nose and mouth. He held his breath until his lungs burned but it was no use as unconscious gripped him and pulled him under.

—-

Dacia straightened her dress and made her way to the bar. She found Renald at the counter, wasted. The female’s words sounded in her head and her temper snapped. She pulled him back by his collar and looked him dead in the eye. “Are you aware of the penalty for putting your hands on a female in my court?”

The male looked at her with a booze-stained smile and tried to swing at her. Dacia twisted his arm behind him and slammed his head against the bar. The male slid down to the floor and clutched at his arm and his bleeding temple, tears staining down his face. “You bitch.”

How typically male. One would think the opposite sex would have a higher vocabulary than ‘bitch’ and ‘whore’. Then again, they are male. Although that isn’t fair is it, Nate at least had a decent vocabulary. Perhaps it was just straight males who lacked the brain compacity to higher thinking.

“The next time you lay a hand on your wife or daughter, or anyone, more than your arm gets broken, you understand me?” The male sobbed and Dacia gripped his shirt and pulled him up to his feet. “This was a warning. Touch someone with ill intent again and you forfeit your life.”

——-

His blood pounded through every inch of Bay as he tried opening his eyes. His wrists burned where restraints held him. A prick in his arm had him groaning and he squeezed his eyes and blinked them open to see a needle coming out of his forearm.

Bay met the eyes of his father and smiled, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing just how much he was afraid. Same routine over five days. “Need to drug a child in order to torture them? Pathetic.”

His father smiled, his long hair grazing his shoulders as he clasped Bay’s forearms and dug into his skin with his nails. “You killed centuries old warriors with just a few maneuvers and managed to draw blood on myself; No one has been able to do that in centuries. Plus, you keep breaking my warrior’s arms. You’ll have to forgive me for taking the precautions.”

“Or maybe they’re just trained poorly with you at the helm. Too busy making people’s lives hell to train them properly.” His father backhanded him with a heavy smack. He heard the smack before he felt it. But when he did, tears stung in the back of his eyes and he tasted blood. He spat blood in his father’s face. “What was in that needle?” Bay asked calmly. “Faebane? Hemlock? Foxglove?”

His father wiped the gob of blood out of his face and twisted his features. He punched him; Bay was fairly certain he bruised his jaw. It was worth it. “Something of my own creation. Something that would bring you unconscious but wouldn’t dim or threaten any psychic threads with someone else. Say, mating bonds for example. Most things would be detected by the other. But not this. This, it lets me do whatever I want with no one the wiser.”

“I don’t have a mate,” Bay said, annoyed. He thought about how Nate smiled with all his face, creating laugh lines around his eyes. He thought about Nate’s bright, bright soul and every soul crushing thing he had been through. He managed to be so light whereas Bay’s soul was bathed in darkness and how he wasn’t strong enough to be able to live like Nate. The hard days did win.

“Although,” his father continued as if he had never spoken, his nails digging deeper into his arms, cutting bloody moons into his skin. “With your bloodline, both mine and your mother’s, I shouldn’t be surprised you’ve been able to do things no one else has. You have two of the purest bloodlines flowing through your veins, Baylor.” Bay’s eyes narrowed. “You wonder why you are so powerful? How someone so small has seven siphons and can kill someone hundreds of years older than themselves so easily? Have you ever wondered why a six-year-old child was able to survive for two years on his own with no training or ability to fly?”

Dread filled Bay’s heart; he had wondered that. He had barely survived the winter those two years and had starved almost constantly and was beaten mercilessly by the bigger bastard-borns to the point his shoulder blades still hurt when it rains. He had seen other boys die from less. It was nothing short of a miracle that he survived.

“You’re a direct descendant to Enalius,” he said. “He’s your grandfather, your mother’s father. Even with her mother being human, his blood runs true in his veins.”

Bay gave him a flat look. “That is by far the most idiotic thing I have ever heard. How the hell would you even know who my mother’s father was to begin with? She was a bastard born left here to die. And human? Really? I would have thought you were at least creative.”

A small part of Bay wondered if he had a sadistic streak for talking to someone who had tortured him for five days, hours at a time. Well, if he was going to end up dead he was going to end up dead as a smart mouth instead of a coward. Ash would be proud.

His father’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Aren’t you curious as to why you have human characteristics? Why you have those eyeglasses and that…Illness? They’re human.”

His father’s face twisted into disgust and he patted Bay’s cheek remorsefully. Such a deep emptiness filled Bay’s head; if he were part human, what would that do to his life expectancy? He had been so exhausted with the thought of living forever but with the threat that his time would be cut short due to human blood.. Bay didn’t know what to think. He couldn’t leave Nate like that. He refused. It was one thing to not be with Nate but this was an entirely different thing.

Bay spat in his face, earning a backhanded smack across his own face, his father’s ring scraping down his cheek harshly; it was worth it. He couldn’t strangle him, this was the best he could do. “I don’t know how you raised by that bastard, but you’re in my house now and you’ll show me some respect.”

Bay blinked the tears away as the burn across his face settled in, tasting copper in his mouth. He snapped his eyes to his father’s and cracked a bloody smile. “Rapists don’t deserve respect. They deserve to be gutted and eaten alive by vultures.”

“Your mother wanted me. She let me fuck her to keep you. I wanted you. You are my son and I wanted you raised to be my weapon. But we came to an understanding and it would seem Fate is on my side. Here you are after all.”

“You’re disgusting,” Bay said, repulsed. “And I won’t be your weapon. Keep asking and I’ll just say no.” If on some off chance his father was right about his heritage, he wasn’t going to let him use him as a weapon. He’s killed enough people and he won’t be a tool to ruin even more lives. He’d sooner off himself.

His father’s smile was that of a spider’s. It made his skin crawl, wanting to inch back away from him. Bay clenched his teeth and stared him down, refusing to give him that inch. “Oh Baylor. You will become my weapon because we are so much alike, you see. You enjoy seeing the light die in your enemy’s eyes. You’re drawn to the bloodshed and I am drawing to conquering.”

“I am nothing like you,” Bay seethed, wrenching his face out of his father’s hand. “I have a soul.” It was dark and battered and scarred but it was there and intact. His father had hate and ugliness.

His father merely laughed and pulled one of his ash blades out from a sheath and traced the tip down Bay’s skin, sending a light pain down his arm. “Soul or no, you’re a murderer, Baylor. You say I’m a monster for hurting a female, well, you’ve set out and hunted down four females and butchered them. Slowly.”

Bay clenched his teeth, forcing his attention to stay off the blade that just needed a slight more weight to pierce his skin. “They deserved it,” he bit out. They had hurt Nate in the most unforgiving way possible and they deserved the death he gave them. He wouldn’t apologize for it.

“And then there was the dozens in the Blood Rite and those in the failed rebellion of the Court of Nightmares and you can’t forget about those you slaughtered not even five days ago here in my own camp.” Bay’s heart hollowed out. “So much blood on hands of someone so, so young. Not even twenty years old and you’ve killed nearly fifty people. Most hundreds of years older than yourself, who had families.”

Bay closed his eyes and centered himself. He wouldn’t feel guilt for it. It was self-defense. Kill or be killed. It was just those females…it was cold brutal ruthless murder. He hunted them down like prey-

“You enjoyed it,” his father said smoothly, his blade tracing down Bay’s cheek.

Bay craned his neck, getting the blade away from his eyes. “I didn’t.”

His father slashed the blade across his cheek. Bay hissed as the drew blood down his face, deep enough it would scar. His father’s own facial scars stretched as he smiled widely. “You did. Those females hurt your lover and you wanted them to pay. Admit it. You loved dragging your blade across their throats; your hands covered in their blood.”

Bay felt blood dripping down on his chest. He inhaled sharply and glared at his father. “No,” he said coldly.

His father’s blade traced down his cheek, into his throat and down to his sternum and stopped. “You crushed their fingers first,” he murmured, his blade cutting down Bay’s chest. Bay tipped his head back and exhaled through clenched teeth as he felt blood run down. “Then, you cut off their hands before dragging your blade across their throats. You watched them gasp for air, choking on their blood.” How do you know what I did? “You felt a soul-deep satisfaction for it, for their blood, for hurting your beloved Nathaniel.”

Bay’s head snapped up and he gave his father a black glare. “Don’t say his name,” he snarled, jerking his wrists to wrap his hand around his father’s throat, but it was met with metal restraints. “You don’t have that right.”

“Ah, finally a reaction. Is he your mate? Is that male you let fuck you your mate?” Bay stared at him in silence. He would not give him one word about Nate. Not Nate. Never Nate. “Or is the Autumn Court Heir your mate? You would do anything for Ash Archeron Vanserra. Wouldn’t you?”

Ash? Ash his mate? That was almost more ridiculous than the thing about Enalius being his grandfather. Ash was his friend, his brother. He would do anything for Ash because he owed him. He saved him. Because he loved him. He would do anything because of that, not because of a bond. His father was fucking stupid.

Bay kept his mouth shut. He could torture him all he liked. He wasn’t saying a word about his brother or the male he loved. They deserved better than to be acknowledged by this filth.

His father hummed disapproval and deepened the cut, drawing a new rivulet of red blood. Bay held his breath and clenched his hands, stopping himself from groaning at the sharp pain down his chest. “Say it. Say you enjoyed killing those females.”

Back to this I see.

“No.”

What felt like hours went by. Time blurred together with each cut and torrent of blood; it could have been minutes or hours, Bay didn’t know. He took him apart and put him back together again and again. His wrists rubbed themselves raw against the metal keeping him clamped to the chair. His father’s words slipped underneath his skin with each denial from his own lips, hurting more than steel or ash ever could.

His throat burned with each swallowed scream and his eyes burned from the tears falling down his face. His Illyrian healing worked to heal him with each dip of his father’s knife but it just gave the psychopath more skin to carve.

His father moved onto his arm next. He drug his blade deep within his skin, down almost to his bone. Red so dark it was near black painted him and the floor and his father. It made his head oh so light and the pain so unbearable it was almost numbing. He had grown accustomed to it over the last few days. But it was just getting to be too much.

“Admit it.”

“Yes,” Bay said savagely. Unwilling tears slid down his face and he clenched his fists. “I enjoyed it. I cut them down and I’d do it again. They deserved to die and when I get out of here I’ll take my time killing you too. I’ll make what I did to them look like child’s play,” he growled. “You’ll regret ever putting a hand on my mother.”

Pure satisfaction rested on his father’s face. Bay dropped his head down and swallowed thickly as fresh tears streamed down his face. He wanted to believe that he said it just to get his father to stop hurting him. But, his heart knew, he did enjoy it and he didn’t know what to do with that information.

His father gripped his chin and lifted his head up to meet his eyes. “See? Now that wasn’t so hard, was it.” He tiled his head. “How does someone with a soul want to do such soulless things?”

His head went quiet. Very, very quiet. “It’s not soulless,” Bay said raggedly, “If you deserve it.”

“Fault has nothing to do with it. It’s the act itself.” His father smiled from ear to ear mockingly. “Would you sell your soul and become a monster yourself if it meant killing me? You would wouldn’t you? You’re surrounded by so much darkness, Baylor. I’m surprised you aren’t a Shadowsinger.” His eyes turned far away and glazed. “What a prize you would have been.”

Bay stared at him numbly. Was he filled with so much Hate he would become a monster himself to take out another monster? The answer flicked in his mind and shame roiled in his veins. He would. He knew he would. Nate was the good one; Ash was the good one. Not him. He harbored no fantasies thinking he were that moral. He would become everything he hated if it meant taking his father to the gates of Hell himself. Perhaps he didn’t have a soul after all.

His father stood, wiping his ash dagger on his pants before sheathing it. “I will stop this if you swear yourself to me.” He had been asked this. Every day. Each time he responded the same way.

“Go to hell,” Bay said weakly.

“Oh son,” his father whispered, “haven’t you noticed by now? We’re already there.”

A rag came up from behind him, covering his nose and mouth with a sweet, sweet smell. It filled his senses with a mind-numbing fog that brought him unconscious once again.

—–

Dacia rested her cheek on her knee as she stared at the fireplace. She was fighting with her instinct to seek out either Nate or Blake and hide herself and isolate. Nate was busy with his new brother and Blake was busy with his brother and Aurora as well.

He wouldn’t want to talk to her anyways. She tried to tell herself that Blake didn’t mean what he said. But he never came to say otherwise. But he had been prideful like that. His arrogance was going to be his undoing. One of these days he’ll say the wrong thing to the wrong person and it’ll cost him everything.

Her thoughts drifted to Nate as she felt tears prick behind her eyes. She sniffed and palmed at her eyes. Nate.. she didn’t know how he didn’t fear the blood in his veins. Sharing blood with someone as soul ruining as Keir. Bay, she knew, he understood that fear. He was as afraid of being his father as she was and he let Nate go out of that fear.

She didn’t know if she had the strength to let go of someone like that. To love a female as much as Bay loved Nate… she couldn’t do it. Whether it was weakness or stubbornness, she wouldn’t be able to let her go.

How lucky for her she didn’t have a female of her own so she couldn’t test out that theory. She was alone in this big manor house with a two-faced council that defied her at every turn. She was sure they were using her fear to their advantage but she didn’t know how to prove it.

They are trying to make her into her father and she won’t have it. She could ask her father- Lucien- or her mother- Elain- for help, she supposed. But they were so close to giving birth and they had their own troubles with the Autumn Court to worry about the Spring Court. It was her responsibility.

Dacia studied her hand, at the tanned skin, the delicate bones. She had a beast prowling beneath her skin. One she could barely control as it were. She could feel her claws want to push out of her skin, her baser instincts wanting to rip off the heads of those who deserved it.

But who was she to determine who lived or died? No one should have that kind of power. Not the High Lady of the Spring Court. Definitely not the daughter of Tamlin and Ianthe. 

—-

Bay closed his eyes and sighed happily at the feeling of Nate’s nails lightly scraping his scalp and down his chest to grip his thighs. What had he been so afraid of, he wondered. To love someone like Nathaniel Verrum. He was a fool for feeling any ounce of fear.

He looked down at Nate, curling the male’s hair behind his ears before framing his face with his hands and leaned down and kissed him. He felt Nate’s lips part and he slid his tongue in Bay’s mouth. He rocked in Nate’s lap, kissing the boy senseless.

Nate’s lips were soft and warm as Bay kissed and kissed and kissed him until his lips were bruised and then he kissed him some more. It felt a little like being unmade and remade all at once. Like his world began and ended with Nate’s lips. To be honest, it probably did.

He flattened his palms against Nate’s tattooed chest and tilted his head back and met Nate’s dark eyes. “I love you.”

Nate pressed his lips to Bay’s neck. He felt his heart pick up more and more in each nerve. He felt Nate kiss the skin of his throat before opening his mouth to sink his teeth in deep. Bay loved the feeling of Nate’s teeth in his skin. He loved the feeling of Nate period. He loved him. He loved Nate.

Bay closed his eyes and groaned as Nate’s teeth sunk deeper into his throat. Bay fisted Nate’s hair as Nate pulled him deeper into his lap, his nails biting into Bay’s back. His heart pounded beneath Nate’s teeth. He would have a dark bruise that would last for weeks and he didn’t care. He loved Nate marking him, letting everyone know who exactly he belonged to. He could rip out his throat and he’d thank him.

Nate’s tongue flicked the puncture wounds closed and pulled back, looking up at Bay with black eyes. There was almost more animal than there was Nate in that stare. Bay tilted his head and wiped the blood from Nate’s lips with his thumb before crushing them with his own. A soft growl was in the bottom of Nate’s throat, reverberating through Nate’s chest as he pulled Bay closer into him as he kissed him hard and fast.

The kisses turned slower and softer and Nate pulled away from Bay’s abused lips, his chest rising and falling in unsteady beats as he caught his breath, his eyes slowly returning back to normal, back to Nate. Bay ran his hands through Nate’s hair before cradling his face with his hands.

“Tell me when you knew,” Nate whispered.

“I don’t know,” Bay whispered back. “I think I’ve always known. Maybe since that first day in the library.” He pressed a kiss to Nate’s brow. “I remember seeing you and thinking you were the prettiest thing I had ever seen but you ruined it by ripping up that book.”

Nate smiled. “I am pretty, aren’t I?”

Bay rolled his eyes. “Your ego knows no bounds, Nathaniel.” 

Nate pressed his lips to Bay’s sternum. “You love it.”

“You’re an ass.”

“And you’re beautiful.” Bay’s ears and cheeks burned as he smiled down at him. Nate rested an arm behind his head and looked up at him beneath dark, dark long lashes. “I don’t know how long I loved you. But I knew during the Starfall two years ago. When I saw you looking up at the stars and you weren’t smiling but your eyes sparkled. That’s when I knew.”

Bay frowned. “Starfall? I didn’t even know that I didn’t like females then. How..”

Nate sat up on his elbows, his hair falling past his shoulders. “I knew. And I knew that I would wait for you. For however long it took you to realize you wanted me too. I’d have waited for you until I was a whisper of darkness.”

Bay smiled down at him and pressed his forehead with his own. “I’ve always wanted you, Nate. I just never thought I’d actually have you.”

Nate flipped Bay onto his back and leaned over him and pressed his lips to the hollow of Bay’s throat. They scorched his skin. He met Bay’s eyes with an intensity that swallowed him whole. “You have me, Baylor.” His smile turned dark and possessive, his eyes tracing every inch of Bay’s face and body, his tattooed hand running down his chest, lower and lower, sending starlight through every inch of him.

Nate slid down, down, down. “Let me show you just how much you own me.”

—

Bay jerked awake and looked around with wide eyes. Apples and Lavender filled his nose and mouth, his blood frenzying in his body. Why could he smell Nate here? Fear settled in his gut at the thought that Nate was somehow in this hellish place with him but then he realized Nate didn’t know where he was and he relaxed and leaned back against the cell, his heart starting to slow back to his normal pace.

He didn’t know what he would be willing to do to keep Nate safe. He would be willing to become a monster, that’s what he would do. He was already so afraid that his father knew who Nate was to him. But if he ever got his hands on the person he loved, Bay was so afraid of the things he knew in his heart he would willingly do to make sure Nate drew breath.

He didn’t care what happened to himself but he would personally come after the Mother if she took Nate from his family. She’s done enough to him; to all them. Nate would be the one thing, the one thing that would destroy him completely if he were taken from him. There would be no coming back. He would become as dark as the Spymaster’s shadows if it meant taking the Mother down with him.

Bay’s eyes went to the ruined skin on his arms and chest, feeling the thick slash on his face. They were so deep; five days’ worth of family bonding. He knew, they were going to scar. I guess I’m not so beautiful now, am I Nate?

Why the hell was he being bitter about scars? He was Illyrian; a warrior. He shouldn’t care. And he knew Nate wouldn’t care what he looked like. Maybe he was just focusing on them so he didn’t have a complete psychotic break over how completely fucked he was. Who would have thought vanity was what was keeping him sane? He tipped his head back and looked at the bars above him. Nate would be proud.

He heard a low laugh and Bay looked to see not only his father but one of the male’s he had previously wounded. The male’s face contorted in hate. Bay smiled at him, teasing and mocking. Mother it hurt his face. “Mad that a teenager bested you? Has to bruise your fragile ego, huh?”

His eyes narrowed and a snarl tore from his throat. “You’re going to pay for that, you little bastard.” Ha. He was already paying for it by breathing and locked in this stupid cage.

Bay felt his body tense with pure fight or flight response despite the pain filling his limbs. He leveled a long, hard look with the male. “Do your worst.”

“Oh, I will.”

—

Nate leaned over the dark crib and looked down at his brother. A shock of black hair and hazel eyes. He was a pudgy little boy, Nikolaj. Although he supposed with how overdue his mother’s pregnancy was the kid had to be…overcooked.

He snorted and brushed a thumb over the feather-like hair. His brother stirred in his sleep, his mouth opening in a wide yawn. Aww how cute. Why did he have a sinking feeling his little brother would be a raging pain in his ass as he got older? Wonderful.

Nate thought about Aysel when she was born. Baylor hadn’t stuck around after her birth. He took off when Ash went missing, spent three weeks hunting him across Prythian. But when he returned home.. the love that had been in his eyes for Aysel Archeron. It made Nate positively gooey. That poor kid when she gets old enough to start dating. Not only Cassian but Baylor in Over Protective Big Brother Mode. 

Now there was a territorial fae male for you. He could just imagine how his mate would be if he were to accept the bond, that territoriality dialed to eleven. Mother, if Adrien were around either of them…Baylor would tear him apart.

Nate chuckled under his breath and left his brother to sleep and went out to the roof but was stopped by a wall of muscle. Nate blinked up to see Cassian’s harsh face and arms crossed. Nate took an involuntary step back from his uncle and held up his hands. “I didn’t do it.”

As to what he didn’t do, he wasn’t sure. It seemed like the right response. Cassian looked him over, ever the Commander: Lord of Bloodshed. Yeah… someone was about to die. “Why are you looking at me like that? If you have the need for someone dead I can get Adrien for you. I’m too pretty to die at nineteen.”

Cassian’s face didn’t move. No wolfish smile. Nada. It was a joke, damn it. He should have laughed. “Where’s my son. He hasn’t been home for five days and he left this.”

Cassian handed him a piece of paper. Nate opened it and read it, his blood going cold. Don’t worry, I’ll be back. Had something to take care of. - Bay.

Short, sweet, and to the point. How typically Baylor.

Nate tore his eyes from the paper and looked up at his uncle. “I saw Baylor five days ago, Cassian. On the anniversary of the Blood Rite.”

“How was his mental state? Depressed? Manic?” Cassian’s eyes were flared with worry and panic. Nate closed his eyes. Of course. With the anniversary of Nesta’s death a few weeks before and everything that had happened between them..

Nate yanked on the bond and relief flooded through him. He was alive. Damn him for always having his mental shields up. It made it so hard to feel him half the time.

“He seemed fine, mentally. Well, he was sad, you know, about us and Nesta, but other than that he was fine. I don’t think he’s trying to off himself.” Realization dawned on him and his heart stopped beating in his chest. “He was wearing armor. Cassian, why would he be wearing armor?”

“I have been so fucking busy with Demeytria and the females and Aysel and Hybern and the armies that he slipped under the radar. That little fucker is in for a world full of hurt for taking off. Again. Why haven’t you seen him?”

“It’s kind of hard being around him when he keeps avoiding me,” Nate said, annoyed. Seriously, his uncle was fucking old. Did he not know how break ups worked? It wasn’t like he had Baylor asleep in his bed. If he did he would most definitely not be having this conversation with his uncle. Nate stepped up to Cassian and gripped his arms. “Why would he be wearing armor, Cassian?”

Cassian closed his eyes and racked his brain. Nate could see the gears working in over drive. “There is only one thing I can think of, unless it involved either you or Ash, that Bay would take off and not tell anyone where he went.”

“Where?”

Cassian opened his eyes. “He went after his father. He must have found him. He knows we would stop him so he told none of us. He’s been going down a dark path, it’s the only thing I can think of. Otherwise he would have stayed for either yours or Aysel’s sakes.”

You know, when he said he wanted Baylor to be selfish for once in his fucking life he didn’t mean for him to go off on a murderous rampage Mother knew where to kill the male who sired him. He meant for Baylor to fucking choose him. This is what he got for not being specific.

“But… who is his father? I don’t know. He never told me.”

“Me neither. Do you think Ash knows?”

“Not likely. Ash would render him unconscious before he tried to go off on his little expedition.” Mother, Baylor would kill Ash if he so much as tried that. Not metaphorically, literally. Although, if Ash ever did try to do such a thing like that to Baylor… he hoped he was there to see it. He’d be down a cousin and make his life a hell of a lot easier…or harder depending on the narrative. “But, let’s go ask him. And if he does know where he is, I’m wringing the life out of his body for being so fucking stupid.” He’d like to see his fancy healing fix that.

Nate took Cassian’s hand and winnowed.

——

Ash paced his room. There was something wrong with his sister. Dacia had become distant ever since Aurora woke up. She wouldn’t talk to him and it was frying the last of his nerves. If he wasn’t afraid of his sister he would demand to know what- who- the hell made her so upset. But alas he valued his balls and decidedly chose not to get himself castrated.

He growled in frustration and slumped in his chair, crossing his arms. His head shot up as he sensed three heartbeats coming down the hall; his father, Cassian and Nate. They were going too fast. Something was wrong. He was on his feet and out the door in seconds.

“What’s wrong,” he asked. Nate had him up against the wall in seconds, his hand around his throat. Damn he was stronger than he looked. Well, not that he would really know. But whatever. “Damn it, Nate. Get off me! I’ll light your ass on fire,” he threatened.

Nate growled and tightened his grip. Mother he hated the territorial side of Nate. So much for him being the level headed one between him and Bay. Well, he was, but not in this particular instance. Bay would pull Nate off him. Thank fuck for Bay and his protective psychosis. He had saved Ash’s life many a times. Perhaps he should get the male a fruit basket. What said: Thanks for putting up with my idiocy for the past nine years, planning on doing it for the next millennia? Apples? Pomegranates?

“Nate,” his father barked. “Let my son go.”

Of course, Nate ignored him, his focus snapped on him, near primal. Ash reined in a sigh. What the hell did he do this time? He raked his brain for the offense but drew up a blank. For once, Ash was completely innocent and didn’t deserve to be choked. For fucks sake, you should only be choked in the bedroom. Not, Ash thought decidedly, by your cousin.

“Ash,” Cassian said, over Nate’s shoulders, his voice deceptively calm. “Do you know where Bay is?”

Ash shoved his hands in his pockets, glaring at his cousin. “No? I haven’t seen him in over a week. I figured he was either getting over himself and hooking up with you or was with Aysel or pounding people into the pitch as per usual.”

‘You’re a fourth of the way right,” Nate muttered, letting him go. “He was with me a few days ago but then he apparently disappeared into thin fucking air.”

I wasn’t aware Bay could winnow. Ash rubbed his throat. “And that is cause for strangling because?” Nate snarled at him and he held up his hands. “Point taken, dial down the territoriality. Maybe he needed some alone time?”

“This is Baylor were talking about. He spends his alone time in his fucking room. You know the room that’s only keyed to Cassian and him and has all his fucking books? What do you know about Bay’s father?”

“His father-“ Ash started, confused at the abrupt change in topic.

Wait.

“I don’t know anything about him. He wasn’t said a word to me about him.” He glared at Nate. “I’m not you, Nathaniel. He doesn’t tell me shit.” Wow he sounded jealous. Probably because he was. “What do you know about him?”

Nate’s heart picked up, his blood pressure rising and rising. Ah hell. “He’s a monster.”

He said it so definitively. “Bay went after him.” It wasn’t a question. He knew Bay. He wouldn’t hesitate. If his father was an evil bastard he would take it upon himself to kill him. “Damn it! That stupid fucker. Why didn’t he take back up?” Oh right. Because Bay knew he would knock his ass unconscious and deliver him comatose to Cassian and go into hiding to avoid getting his neck snapped. Why was he so predictable?

Ash marveled at the irony. Almost exactly a year before, Bay had gone after him, saving him from himself. It would seem it was his turn to go after Bay. But Bay wasn’t turning on himself, he was out for blood. Fan-fucking-tastic. A Bay bent on revenge was something he had seen a total of once. It ran the fire magic in his blood to ice. Sometimes Bay got downright scary. “At least he got laid before going off on his death march.”

A snarl tore out of Nate’s throat and he had his fist in Ash’s nose before Ash’s magic had detected it. Ash tasted blood rushing down his throat but his nose instantly fixed itself. He heard Cassian and his father pulling Nate back as Ash tested the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Too soon?”

“Damn it Ash,” his father muttered.

Cassian sighed painfully.

Was his beloved uncle finally feeling his age? Oh, to be a parent. He couldn’t wait for the day for Aysel to be old enough to form her own opinions. He couldn’t wait to see which parent she took after. Either way, Cassian was in for a hellva time considering Bay seemed to be the only one who could calm her down.

“One of these days, Ash. One of these fucking days I’m ripping your throat out,” Nate huffed, no longer struggling against the two older fae. He must have decided it was a moot point considering there was no heat or truth in Nate’s words.

Awe, love you too, Cousin.

“We either need your mother or the Suriel,” Nate said defeatedly.

Ash scratched his cheek. “Mother is in no shape with her pregnancy being as tumultuous as it is and Bay was able to catch the Suriel. How hard can it be?”

“Hard,” all three of them said.

——-

Bay leaned back against the cage wall, trying to take a steady breath without the piercing pain in his lungs. He held his wrist gingerly in his hand above his heart. The fucking psychopath sprained it. Although he supposed it was his own fault. He had broken the male’s wrist first.

His thoughts went back to where they always did when he was alone. Nate. But he went back to when they were fourteen. Back when Nate had gotten his wrist and fingers broken by Keir and had Ash heal them in secret.

Bay had kissed the scars on Nate’s fingers and wrist. Nate acted like nothing bothered him, but Bay saw through it. Nate always had those bracelets and rings and tattoos to cover those scars the best he could.

Nate had looked so empty and sad but he hadn’t let it win. Now Bay supposed it was his turn to not let it win. But he wasn’t delusional despite what some thought. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to not let it win. He had enough bitterness in him to last a lifetime. It would win.

He had held on for five days with the psychopath he called a father but he was starting to feel himself chip away, to go feral. And it didn’t help he was hungry and in pain and in the fucking dark. He had been given food twice in the past five days and he could smell the drugs in it. Although after three days without food, he had cracked and ended up in a drugged sleep, trapped in his nightmares with the females he killed. Or worse, his mother and Nesta.

He held onto pieces of himself, trying to keep from going to that place. He needed to not go feral, where he knew he wouldn’t feel pain and he would be oh so tempted to not come back. Why would he come back if he wasn’t in pain? He wouldn’t. And that’s why he can’t tempt himself even a little bit. Even for a half second of a break.

The pieces of himself he held onto… Ash, Nate and Aysel and Cassian. He held onto them with as tight a grip his mind would let him in this pained state. He squeezed his eyes, raising his wrist higher over his heart, to help the swelling. Thank Cassian and his helpful first aid.

He couldn’t stay like this. The pain would get to be too much and by this time tomorrow, he’d be back in that chair for the next round of ‘Let’s See How Much of Bay’s Psyche We Can Break.’ The physical torture, the cutting and slicing he could do. He could handle pain but his father getting into his head was hurting him so much more than the blades.

A clinking shocked him out of his spiraling and Bay bared his teeth, his heart racketing in his chest as he looked around the dark. His eyes landed on a child with upturned hazel-green eyes, his eyes, he thought distantly, and long black inky hair.

His heart slowed down as he sunk back into the cage and looked at the girl warily. She couldn’t be much older than five years old. She was so small, her wings… they were clipped. Why were they clipped so young?

“Are you my brother?” She asked. Whether it was the pain going through his head or the lack of food, she sounded dangerously sweet. She still had her childlike innocence, it seemed. That nearly shocked he pain out of his system considering they were in Hell. “You look just like my Daddy.”

His thoughts went to when he was so young and he climbed the trees in the camp. I want to touch the sky, Mommy. Bay shook his head and instantly regretted it, considering pain sliced through him enough he saw black sparks. He groaned.

He looked at the girl, a sudden desire to protect her settled in him, almost like a balm. It took him a few tries but he got it out. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” His voice came out bleeding, which wasn’t surprising considering the amount of screams he swallowed. Dear Mother, he was sounding like Cassian. He would bet the male would be thrilled to hear that.

She smiled. “Breanya.” How is she smiling. How, how, how.

Bay tried to smile, it came out pained. “That’s a pretty name. You shouldn’t be in here. You could get hurt.”

She came closer up to the cage. He could see light freckles going over the bridge of her nose and across her face, just like his. She slipped something through the bars. “Here I got this for you. To help with the hurt.”

Bay stared at the gift with wide eyes. It wasn’t registering in his head that she was giving him something to actually help him. What if she was sent in by their father? To fuck with his already fragile psyche?

She studied him with cunning, deceptively kind eyes. He didn’t like how it undid him. She shouldn’t be affecting him like this. He felt tears sting the back of his eyes and he shoved them down as far as they would go. He would not be broken by a child. “Daddy didn’t send me, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said thickly. “You should go. You’ll get in trouble for helping me.” He shoved the gift over with the heel of his boot. “Take this with you. You can’t help me. I don’t want you too. Go.” He barked the last word.

She frowned, her eyebrows inching together as she looked up at him. But then stubbornness took over her face. “’Scuse me, but you need to be helped. Use this, now. It’ll help your hand.”

Bay tipped his head back and groaned. He was not doing this. Not with a five-year-old who apparently knew he had a sprained wrist. Apparently, stubbornness was a trait passed down from their father. “Look, Bree. He’ll know you’ve helped me. He’ll hurt you.” Because of me.

She rose her tiny chin and stared at him defiantly. Oh Mother, why did she remind him of Aysel. Why, why, why. “He’s already hurt me and I want to help you.” She crossed her stick thin arms. “I’m not leaving until you put that medicine on your hand.”

As if on cue she shoved the jar further into the cage. He could smell the salve. He groaned again. He could survive hundreds of years old fae warriors and physical and psychological torture over five days but apparently, he couldn’t handle ten minutes with a five-year-old little girl with authority issues.

“Okay,” he said hoarsely. “If I use it, you got to go back inside and stay away from your father and make sure he doesn’t know you helped me. Deal?”

“Deal.” She smiled widely and it undid him. Tears started falling down his face and he covered his face with his arm. Sobs broke from him and she was instantly standing. “No, no! Don’t cry. This is supposed to make it feel better!” She shoved it closer to him through the bars. “Use this! It’ll help. My hand got hurt a while ago and one of the pretty ladies in the camp gave it to me to help. Now it doesn’t hurt when I draw!”

Oh Mother. She was an artist too. It didn’t stop the sobs. Not even a little bit, especially when it just made him think of Nate. He took a deep breath and centered himself, willing himself to calm the fuck down.

He opened the container, the herbs hitting him with a full force. He rubbed the salve into his wrist, the pain and swelling instantly going down. He nearly moaned at the relief. “Who helped you?”

“A pretty lady named Alyx.” Breanya came closer, her voice dropping down below a whisper. “She said to bring it to you.”

His throat thickened and he couldn’t speak. Alyx. His mother’s mate. He looked heavenward and whispered a ‘Thank you’ to his mother and to the female that helped him. He looked back at the little girl. “Okay. We had a deal,” he screwed the lid back onto the jar and shoved it to her. “Now get out of here. Now.”

She smiled widely and took the jar and ran out of the area, her dark hair swishing around her. He didn’t know how she did it. If it was basic decency or what. But he felt a little less breakable.


	58. Chapter 58

Bay looked numbly at the steel bars surrounding himself. He knew them as well as he knew Nate’s face. He supposed it was the affect when he had been in them for eight days. They burned cold through his skin until his body heat warmed them, but it just made him cold.

He hadn’t seen Breanya since the three nights before and he prayed to the Mother she and Alyx wouldn’t get caught for their involvement for his healed wrist. Although, he didn’t know why he prayed to begin with, the Mother never answered his prayers in the last twelve years so why would She now? His father had discovered his arm during their next bonding session and asked who helped him but Bay merely stared at him.

He tried carving the names out of Bay but Bay kept his mouth shut. He wouldn’t be responsible for a five-year-old child or his mother’s mate being hurt because of a kindness given to him. Bay looked down and ran his fingers through his grimy hair. The dye was long gone, leaving the ashy hair soaked with blood and dirt.

He heard a clinking sound and he looked up to see his father standing in front of him, his arms folded over his chest. “Your silence to help your sister and the female who gave her the salve is very admirable Baylor. Very admirable indeed.”

Bay stared at him, not bothering to answer him. His father ran his hand through his clean hair before coming over and leaning down in front of the bars, far enough it was out of range for Bay to get his hands around his father’s throat. So, he didn’t even try.

“Although,” his father drawled. “I managed to get down to the bottom as to who it was that helped you. You see, I don’t do things without a purpose. I made sure you were born for your bloodline.”

His father’s words registered in his head. His mother wasn’t a victim of circumstance or opportunity. She was hunted down and assaulted so she would give birth to someone that had her and his father’s bloodline. 

Bile rose in Bay’s throat. He didn’t have a weak constitution but this, this made him sick. Bay swallowed it down and looked at his father. “I will kill you,” he said. There was no emotion in his words, no heat. It was detached and empty. But it was a promise and Bay didn’t break his promises.

“I had your wrist sprained to make sure you understood what you were doing to my males. And by Alyxandrya and Breanya helping you by giving you that salve, it defeated the purpose of my lesson.”

Fear. Real fear filled every inch of him. His father knew her name. He knew who she was. His mother’s mate was going to be harmed or killed for helping him. This is why he wanted Breanya to take the salve and go. He could handle pain to himself but not to others. Definitely not to his mother’s mate.

As if on cue, three males came in, two holding Alyx by her throat and pinned in front of them. No, no, no. They dropped her to her knees behind his father and one carried in Breanya. The little girl had a bruised cheek and tears streaming down her olive face. And she fought against the male so much.

His eyes met Alyx’s. The female struggled against the two males, her dark eyes filled with bone deep hate and fear. So much fear it choked Bay. “Bay don’t- “

One of the male’s holding her covered her mouth, cutting off her next words. The look in her eyes was almost an acceptance of her death. She knew the risks of helping him and she had done it anyways. She was going to be taken from her child; another left without parents.

Bay was at the bars in seconds, reaching for his father’s throat. He was not even an inch too far from him. A purely animalistic snarl tore out of Bay’s throat. “Let them go. It’s me you wanted. They aren’t apart of this.”

His father gave him a considering look before turning around and looking between Alyx and his daughter. He tilted his head before swinging back around to look at him. “What would you give me for their lives?”

Bay felt tears start to threaten as he looked back between Alyx and Breanya; his mother’s mate and his sister, a five-year-old child. What would he give him? He would give him whatever he wanted. He would give him himself. He would become that monster if he had to to make sure that little girl and female kept drawing breath.

Bay licked his cracked lips; he tasted salt and copper. He got to his knees and wrapped his fingers around the bars of the cage. “Don’t do this,” his voice broke. “Please.”

Begging. He was begging his father to do something decent for once in his miserable life. If he hadn’t have chosen himself, hadn’t chosen to be selfish, if he just let his father go, Alyx would not be here. Breanya would not be screaming. He kept ruining lives.

His father knelt, meeting his eyes. He could almost see pity in them. Bay shot through the bars to grab at his father’s throat but he narrowly missed it. His father just laughed. “I miscalculated you, Baylor. I thought enough time with me and my blades would get you to give yourself to me. You can take the pain. I should have realized with the life you’ve had, physical pain was nothing to you. It isn’t yourself that you care to preserve and protect. You have no instinct of self-preservation. It’s your family and friends. You would cut out your own heart if it meant they never hurt another day in their lives. Wouldn’t you?” He smiled his spidery smile; Bay’s teeth mashed together and he swallowed a snarl. “Of course, you would,” he answered for him. “A blinding knight with a heart of gold. How sweet. Just like a fairytale.”

Fairytales didn’t exist. There were no happy endings in real life; there was just what you got and it all dialed down to luck. There was no such thing as a white knight or a heart of gold. He sure as hell didn’t have one. It was out of selfishness that had him keeping his friends and family safe. He needed them. They didn’t need him and that was okay. But he did and that was why he would cut out his heart if he had to. They kept him alive so he returned the favor and made sure they were too.

“Please,” he begged raggedly. “They were just trying to help me. They won’t do it again. I promise. Just let them go.”

“I’ll make you a bargain. They will never have another hand lain on them and they’ll draw breath for the rest of their long, long lives.” Bay braced himself. “You swear yourself to me. Become my executioner and they live happily for the rest of their days.”

Bay gazed at his father. He would have killed himself to stop his father from using him as a weapon. He didn’t want to be used to destroy more lives but if he offed himself what would stop his father from killing them? He couldn’t be responsible for the death of a five-year-old little girl and his mother’s mate.

Bay’s eyes went to Alyx. She struggled against the male, her eyes bright with unshed tears as she shook her head ferociously. It was obvious she didn’t want him to do this. If he did, would she look at him with disgust? Would Nate? Ash? Cassian? Would Aysel grow up and look at him and see a murderer? That was assuming he survived his father’s kill list. He supposed it wouldn’t matter. If they lived, he could live with their revulsion. Besides, it wasn’t like he was planning on going home with the terrible things he has done. He didn’t know if he would be able to look them in the eye.

He looked back at his father. “If I give myself over to you, you don’t touch Alyx or her family or Breanya. They stay safe and happy. You don’t clip any of their wings or any wings of their future children. You and no one else lays a hand on them. And no children. I won’t kill children. You swear that to me and you’ll have me.”

Breanya screeched. “No!”

Irritation flashed in his father’s face and the male holding her put his large hand over her mouth, cutting off any more words that would have come out of the little girl. She kicked at him, screaming against his muffled hand. The male just grunted.

Bay’s heart cracked in his chest. The little girl barely knew him, they literally only had one conversation. Why would she care about him? He guessed he understood though. He was willing to become a monster to make sure she could draw breath. There was power in blood.

His father’s lips curled into a triumphant smile that lit up his hazel-green eyes. “Say it.”

He stared at him. It took a moment to realize what he wanted him to say. Bay swallowed the bile burning through his throat. He closed his eyes and centered himself, willing himself to not vomit. He wished his heart would stop beating in his chest. He opened his eyes and leveled a look right in the eyes of his father. “I want to be your weapon.”

His father’s smile widened, showing all his teeth. “It’s a bargain.” Fuck you. “Welcome to the family, Baylor.”

Over my dead body.

Bay sat back and watched a tattoo curl on his arm with a detached stare. This was it. This was what took his soul and finally crushed it. You could die with your heart still beating. He lifted his gaze to his father’s. “What’s my first assignment?”

——

Nate waited with Baylor’s bow and quiver, waiting for the Suriel to fall in his trap. It had taken Baylor twenty-one days to find Ash. Twenty-one. He had been looking for forty-eight hours. He didn’t doubt for a second that Baylor couldn’t kill his father.

But if he were caught, if he were tortured, wouldn’t he know? Wouldn’t he feel something, anything through the bond? Fear? Anger? Something? He was alive, his heart still beat, but he felt nothing else. Either things went right or they went very, very wrong.

He hid there waiting for hours, until the moon was high in the sky, before he winnowed back to his home. Cassian and his father were sitting head to head, whispering together. Cassian’s head shot up and looked at him the second Nate came in.

He shook his head and the Commander’s shoulders sagged almost imperceptibly and he nodded. He rubbed his face and Nate put the bow and quiver on the counter and came over and sat next to his father with a leg drawn up to his chest.

“His father is Illyrian,” Cassian said. “As is his mother so that means he’d have to be at one of the camps, right?”

“There are hundreds of camps,” his father murmured. “We don’t have the time to go through them all. He’d have a plan. Bay is practical and would have made one before he went.” Oh of course he would. It was Baylor. He was as smart as he was stubborn. It’s infuriating.

“You think he talked to someone before he left?” Nate asked. “But who?”

His father leaned back and threw his arms over the back of the couch, his shadows wreathing around him darker and tighter. “Someone who he knew wouldn’t say a word about it. But no one would dare keep something like this from Cassian unless Bay had leverage over them.”

Nate rubbed his face with his hands and exhaled painfully. “Who though?” Nate raked his thoughts, turning over all the people Baylor knew in the camps. For someone who isolated themselves from ninety percent of the population, his mate had a lot of leverage on a lot of people. “He’d call in debts-“

His heart stopped clean in his chest. There was one person he could think of. Just one who would help Bay without going to Cassian. Sonofabitch. He lifted his gaze to his father and uncle, swallowing the fury that was building in his throat. “I’ll be right back.”

He winnowed.

—-

Bay stalked through the shadows, ignoring the pain in his body and the urge to just run. He made a deal, a promise, and if he ran Breanya and Alyx would be killed. And he just knew, it wouldn’t be quick or painless.

He found the hideout. And the males stationed around it. He surveyed the area around the entrance and debated on how to get in to kill the male his father sent after him. He had said that the male was worse than himself, that he killed and done worse with no remorse or reasoning.

The male was one of his father’s underlings. It would seem David Odium couldn’t control him as well as he thought he would be able to.

Bay surveyed the guards. They were armed to the teeth and were strong, their faces carved with cold cruelty. He heard a scream from inside the tent and went ramrod straight. Instantly he had a blade in one of the guard’s throats.

The second guard was alert in seconds. Bay fought against him, earning a cut to his chest in the process of killing him. The wound didn’t hurt, not even a little bit. Not with what he had endured over the span of eight days.

Bay stalked into the tent and pulled the male off the female by his hair and sliced across the male’s throat with a blade. Blood spilled down the male’s throat and into soil beneath them as Bay let him crumple to the ground. He turned to the female that was under the male and held up his hands. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

She pulled at the blankets around her and covered herself, her eyes wide and scent flooded with fear and panic. Bay nodded behind him and said, “The guards are dead. You can leave without any resistance.”

“I don’t believe you,” she hissed.

“I just killed the male who was attacking you and the two guards stationed around this place. And on top of that, I’m not attracted to females, not even a little bit. I won’t hurt you.” Her eyes went to the blood-stained blade in his hand. “I’d remove my weapons but I’m not finished with what I came here to do and its not safe for either of us if someone comes in.” He was too injured to have a normal reaction time in hand to hand. “Either leave or you’re going to see me cut this male’s head off. Your choice. I won’t stop you from going if you want to.”

She looked over at the very dead male and narrowed her eyes. Standing on shaking legs, she spat on him before turning her dark eyes to him and bared her teeth. “Do it.”

Bay nodded and kicked the male over, onto his back. Bay pulled his sword out of his sheath and brought it down on the male’s throat, severing his head from his neck. Blood splattered on his legs and chest and face and he couldn’t care less.

He gathered a set of sheets and wrapped the head in them. He turned to the female with dead, hard eyes. “I need to bury his body. If you wait, I can walk you home. Or, you can leave now on your own. Again, it’s up to you. I swear it.”

“Why are you doing this? Why did you kill him to begin with?”

“Because I was ordered to.” She frowned. “But when I heard you scream, I would have killed him anyways. Anyone who puts their hands on someone by force deserves a blade through the neck.”

She nodded in agreement. “I’ll wait for you.”

Bay nodded once before he drug the male’s body out into the night and buried it. Fifteen minutes and an empty stomach later, Bay returned to the tent to find the female waiting for him, wrapped up in clothing.

He picked up the head and withdrew one of his blades and held it out to her, hilt first. “Take this.” He told her maneuvers to use that required no to little training and led her out of the tent and to her home.

When getting to her home, the female offered the blade to him. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Don’t thank me. I don’t deserve it.” His eyes went to the blade. “Keep it. I have plenty. Don’t go out after dark and keep your head down for the next few days. Just in case. Alright?”

He watched her go back into her home. He monitored outside for as long as he dare before pulling his hood further over his features and walking through the night back to his father’s house.

———–

A knock sounded at Zev’s door but Nate barged through before he had time to answer it. Nate had him up against the wall with his tattooed hand around his throat, his dark eyes black and face hard with barely controlled rage. This was about Bay.

Zev didn’t dare fight back. Nate like this, he wouldn’t hesitate to snap his neck. Zev held up his hands in surrender slowly, his eyes adverted. He wasn’t stupid enough to issue that challenge with Nate nearly feral. He could feel his airways close with the force of Nate’s tattooed hand around his throat. “Where is he.”

“Nate-“

“WHERE IS MY MATE, ZEVAKYN.”

Oh Cauldron. Of course Nathaniel Verrum was Bay’s mate. It made sense on every level and it explained Nate’s teeth so very close to his throat. Fear seized him, actual fear. He survived Gomorreh and he survived Chelia’s death. But he was certain, he would not survive Nathaniel Verrum. Blake was power and Adrien was brawn. But Nate.. he was all heart and that made him all the more dangerous.

His hands went around Nate’s wrist, trying to pull some of the weight off his crushing windpipe; damn he was deceptively strong. “Calm down,” he wheezed. “This isn’t you.”

Nate blinked and blinked again, as if he were clearing fog from his mind. His pupils started to shrink far too slowly for his taste. Come on, he thought, preferably before you asphyxiate me. “Nate. Let me go. Bay wouldn’t want this.”

Nate released his death grip and nearly slammed himself backwards against the wall and inhaled sharply. Zev doubled over coughing, willing the air into his lungs and brain. Apparently ‘Bay’ was the magic word.

“Where is he,” Nate ground out. “I know you know. You’re the only one he would have gone to because of that damned fucking life debt.”

“I can’t tell you.” Nate’s eyes blew out and before he could rip his throat out, Zev held up his arm, showing Nate the bargain tattoo. “I literally can’t Nate. Bay made me promise.”

Frustration and heartbreak warred on Nate’s face. “Tell me what you can. Now.”

———-

Bay walked through the house to his father’s interrogation room. His fingers were shaking, Mother they were shaking so much. He tightened his grip on the bloody sheets in his hand before he dropped it.

He had vomited when he buried the male’s body; he had also screamed. He could still taste the bile in his mouth, could still feel his throat bleeding. They had brought back memories he had tried to bury since he was six but he had to do it. He couldn’t leave his body there for someone to find.

Bay went down the stairs, the darkness falling back over him and his chest tightened in fear. A new thing to be afraid of: The dark. Fantastic. Just lovely. Let’s just add that to the list behind his father and himself.

He found his father sitting at his desk, hunched over and writing correspondence to someone. Bay’ teeth ground against each other. How could he be so cavalier and do paperwork? The world was on fire and drowned in darkness and he didn’t care. Or maybe it was just his own world.

Bay dropped the bag onto the desk. “Why did you need his head?” Bay asked, his voice raw. “Couldn’t trust my word or did you want me to defile a corpse.”

His father laced his fingers and looked up at him. If he were disgusted by the head on his desk, it didn’t show. “Apologies. You’ll have to get used to me needing evidence to make sure you completed your tasks.”

Bay slammed his palms down on the desk, lightning shooting up his already painful body. “I made a bargain with you. Meaning, I kill whoever you wish. There’s no need for me to decapitate someone.” Even if he deserved it. “It’s unnecessary work for me when you know he’s dead.”

His father just gazed at him. He could have a blade through his throat in a split second, his blood spilling down his chest and onto his desk, his hands grasping to pull out the knife so he could breathe.

Bay used every shred of pain induced self-control to keep his hands off his blades. If he touched them, just a brush, he would bury them in his father’s rutting throat and damn the consequences. “No worries, Baylor.” He winced at his name. “I just thought with as much blood you’ve spilt, you’d have no qualms with decapitation. You surely didn’t have any qualms when you took off those females’ hands while they were still alive.”

He stared numbly at him. “Yes, I have spilled blood. But it was out of necessity.” Except for those females. “But I mourn each and every death. Even those that deserve it. Just as I will mourn your death when I finally put a blade in your throat.”

He slowly stood and braced his desk. “You will not talk to your father like that. You are in shock and I will give you this one insult.”

“You are not my father!” Bay’s voice cracked. “Cassian is. You are a rapist and a monster and I promise you, by the time I am done breathing, you will be dead and rotting and left for the vultures. You will know pain.” Bay removed his blades and dropped them on the desk. “You know so much about me, David. So, you must know this: I keep my promises and I will be damned before I break this one.”

David’s jaw ticked and his eyes went back behind Bay and he jerked his chin. He heard the guards come up behind. They gripped Bay’s shoulders and dropped him to his knees, the impact cracking them. Bay didn’t fight them, he kept his eyes on the monster in front of him the entire time; he didn’t have the strength to fight back beyond words.

“Apologize.” David murmured.

“I won’t,” he said. “What I say to you wasn’t a part of our bargain. If you want niceties- respect- you’ll have to earn them like the rest of us.” Bay looked David in the eye. “Although I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”

David’s nostrils flared, his eyes flicking to his guards. “Put him back in the cage until he remembers his manners.”

Bay was brought back up to his feet with rough hands and shoved down the hallway. It hurt to walk, it hurt to breath. Blades were kept at the back of his throat and at his flank as he was ushered into the darkness of the room.

Lights were lit, illuminating the cold space. The chair Bay had spent hours in stood in the middle, surrounded by dried blood. He wondered if the red painting the floor was kept there so he would have to smell his own blood or if they were just too lazy to clean it up. It was probably both.

Bay was led to the cage. One of the males unlocked the opening and Bay let the other shove him inside. Bay landed on his hands and knees. He settled in and leaned back against the wall of the cage and gazed at the two males outside of it. He studied their tight faces. “You’re scared of me, aren’t you?”

One of the males came forward and sneered at him, his hazel eyes filled with hate. “You should watch your mouth before your father cuts out that tongue of yours. You can still kill without the ability to speak.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” Bay said in a bored tone.

The male bared his teeth. “You’re just like your father. Arrogant.” He felt his entire body flinch. The male laughed. “That shut you up, didn’t it?”

Bay just leveled a look at the males. “The bargain I made with David, there was nothing in it that guaranteed your survival. If I want you dead, you will be dead.”

“Big words for someone trapped in a cage.”

Bay just shrugged and put his arms on his knees. “I may be trapped in a cage right now but I have to get out of it to kill for David. Maybe I’ll make a detour and take your heads while I have my freedom.”

Maybe it was a trick of the light, but the two males’ faces paled in the candle light. It felt like a victory, however small. Bay closed his eyes and sighed painfully. He’d take it.

————-

Zev went to his desk opened the drawer, showcasing the letters Bay had given him. He nodded Nate over and said, “I can’t tell you where he is or give you these until after three weeks, but there was nothing in the bargain that said you couldn’t take these letters yourself.”

Nate’s black eyes bored into the parchment, as if he were waiting for them to burst into flame. His eyes then went to the one written in purple elegant script, to the name ‘Nathaniel’. Zev watched Nate’s throat bob violently as he took the letter into his hands and opened it.

———–

Nate exhaled shakily as he opened the letter. Baylor’s beautiful handwriting, although there were misspelled words. Hard to spell correctly when the letters always moved around, he supposed. And there were dried spots covering them. From tears. Oh Baylor.

My Dearest Nathaniel-

If you’re reading this, there’s a decent chance I’m not coming back. I did not go off and try to kill myself like you’re probably thinking. I just… when I found who my father was and what he did to my mother, I couldn’t let him live, not while I did.

There is so much hate in me, so much darkness, and there always will be until the day he stops breathing. And with what he did to her, you must understand that I can’t let him live. I am alive solely because he made her life a living nightmare. And with all that hate, I wouldn’t be able to be what you needed. I needed to do this, just so I was me again. And because my mother loved me despite what was done to her and who I look like. Keir wasn’t joking when he said I was the spitting image of my father.

And if the Mother says my time is up, that I must go, I just need you to know something. I have loved you since before I knew what love was. You have always been the brightest light in my life and I thank you for it.

You were the first person, the very first, that I wasn’t utterly terrified of. Cassian terrified me, Nesta, even Ash. But not you. Never you. You were the first thing in years that ever felt right to me and I am so ashamed that I couldn’t be brave enough to be myself and be with you before everything changed when Nesta died and we were in the Blood Rite. It took people dying in order for me to be courageous.

If I hadn’t been such a coward, we could have been together for years. If I hadn’t been such a coward we would still be together and I wouldn’t have let Adrien get under my skin or in my head so damned easily. But you, Nathaniel, you always were the brave one between the two of us, weren’t you?

I think what I will regret the most, would be the things that I will miss out on with you. Getting married or having children with you. Having you there when my nightmares kept me from sleeping. Waking up and watching you sleeping next to me. Living together out on our own, just the two of us.

Thank you for holding me up when I couldn’t stand. Thank you for loving me when I didn’t feel loveable. Thank you for showing me what bravery looked like. Just… thank you for being you.

I wish you were my mate. Mother, I wish that more than anything at this point. But, maybe it was a blessing in disguise. If I am gone and you are reading this, then you don’t have to worry about a bond breaking. You can go out and find your mate, the one person who will be everything you need, who is your equal in every way. He will hold you up and love you with every inch of his soul. If he does not, I will personally come back from the dead and kick his ass.

Tell Adrien to stop wallowing in guilt. It was my own choice to break things off with you. It’s not his fault I’m an insecure idiot who ruined the best thing that I had.

Nate, I need you to do something for me. I know it’s incredibly unfair of me to ask this but I’m doing it anyways. Take care of Cassian, Aysel and Ash. Don’t let them fall apart. Please help Ash. Don’t let him get hurt. Help him become the male that I know he can be, that he was meant to be. He’s all heart, just like you. Probably why you two don’t get along so well.

Also, don’t blame Zev for any of this. I wouldn’t let him come with me. I forced his hand.

Trust that no matter where I am or what had happened to me, the first and last thing that I will think about is you. Your eyes, your heart. You. Just you.

I’m sorry. For everything.

Love you Always.

Baylor

Nate’s legs gave out beneath him and he collapsed to the ground. He covered his mouth with his hand to smother the sobs that tore out of his throat. This was death. This is what death feels like: Complete soul shattering death. He couldn’t breathe.

He had to tell Baylor he was his mate. He had to. Baylor was everything he needed. He was everything he wanted. When he saw him, he would tell him. He needed to know. Nate palmed his eyes, wiping the tears away harshly.

Zev crouched down in front of him, his hand going to touch Nate’s shoulder. “Nate-“

Nate’s head snapped up and he had Zev pinned against the wall. “Why didn’t you go with him?” Nate’s voice cracked. “Why didn’t you force his hand and make him stay? ”

Zev’s face was filled with heartbreak. “Don’t you think I tried to get him to let me come? To have some kind of back up? And we both know I couldn’t force his hand if I wanted to, he’s more powerful than I am. He doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into, Nate. His father will twist his heart and use it against him.”

He took a step back.

“You know who he is,” Nate breathed.

“I do,” Zev said. “But I can’t tell you. Nate… I’m very sure Bay is alive and will stay alive. His father… killing isn’t his thing, not when he will see Bay as a weapon. The male is cold and pragmatic and will see Bay’s death as a waste of resources. If there is a chance of getting Bay to cooperate with him, no matter how small, he won’t kill him.”

He may not kill him but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt him. But… if Baylor was being hurt, if he was being tortured or was in pain, wouldn’t he feel it? In the bond? He reached down and yanked on it, just making sure he was still alive. He felt Baylor at the end but that was it. There was nothing else. But at least he was alive.

“Baylor wouldn’t agree to work with him. He would sooner die.”

Zev nodded. “I know that and you know that but what if his father dangled someone else’s life in front of him? He was going to tear open Tarus’s throat in the Blood Rite for his blood if they didn’t help me. Look me in the eye and tell me Bay wouldn’t sell his soul if it meant saving someone’s life.”

Nate rubbed his face and sighed painfully. “No, he would. He definitely would. Especially if it were a child.”

“I was supposed to deliver those letters to you after three weeks and then tell you where he went. I’m sorry, Nate. I wish I didn’t help him.”

Nate shook his head. “Don’t be. We both know he would have gone anyways. Especially when this whole thing is about his mother.”

Nate went back to the desk and grabbed the other letters and looked at them. One for Ash, Aysel and Cassian. Nate narrowed his eyes and studied the parchment and ink. They were from his desk and from one of his markers. Baylor had written them in his room.

Nate turned to Zev and looked down at the male’s throat, at the red ring around it. He winced and looked up at Zev’s eyes. “Sorry I strangled you.”

Zev waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. I would have done the same if it were my mate who disappeared into thin air.”

Nate nodded. “I’m going to take these to Cassian and Ash. They’ll want to read them.”

Nate readied himself to winnow but Zev grabbed his arm. “When you go to get him, take me with you. I can help.”

Nate nodded and Zev let go, stepping back.

Wrapping his darkness around himself, Nate winnowed.

—–

Bay’s eyes fluttered open to see Nate looking at him, his dark hair mussed around his head, light streaming on his tattooed arms and neck. Nate’s smile faltered as he studied Bay’s face. Bay just watched him with heavy eyes. “Nate, you should go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“No.”

Bay slowly sat up, his limbs heavy, and pointed to the doorway. “Go.”

Nate sat up then as well, stubbornness taking over his pretty face. He took Bay’s chin between his fingers and brought him close. Bay could see his individual lashes framing those narrowed depthless eyes. “If you really wanted me out you would force me out. We both know you are more than capable of getting me out and through that door.” Bay blinked at him. “So, if you want me out, you will have to physically shove me out that fucking door, got it?”

Bay nodded and Nate smiled triumphantly. Despite the numbness sitting in his chest, Bay felt himself smile a little. Laying back down, Bay pulled his blanket back over himself and closed his eyes. But then the bed shifted a little and he looked to see Nate getting out and going to his bookshelf. “Which one, Baylor? You have way too many books.”

He couldn’t help but smile a little at the male’s hands on his hips as he took in the large bookshelf on the far wall in Bay’s room. Nesta had the thing installed when she found Bay sleeping in the castle library one too many times; a good portion of the books had made their way to his room over the years. “Whatever one you want, Nathaniel. You’re the one doing the reading and I’ve read all of those. And there is no such thing as too many books.”

“Of course, you have,” Nate muttered as he went to the tail end of the bookcase and pulled a thickly bound book from the shelve and made his way back to the bed. Nate climbed in and kissed the top of Bay’s head. “I think we’re at the part where the witch confronts the queen in the forest. Sound about right?”

Bay nodded and curled into Nate’s side, resting his head on Nate’s chest. As Nate cracked open the book, Bay closed his eyes at the feeling of Nate’s heartbeat against his cheek, at the vibrations in Nate’s chest as he read quietly.

He didn’t know how the humans did it, how they could live with such apathy. How they could carry on their entire lives and have families and take care of people with such crippling depression. Although he supposed it made sense, their lifespans were so much shorter than his. When they didn’t have those episodes, they needed to make good of the time they had. He had hundreds of years which meant a hundred times more episodes.

Bay curled into Nate instinctively when he felt the male’s lips brush the top of Bay’s head and the page turn in the book. He didn’t know what he did to deserve something like Nate’s love. Or Ash’s or Cassian’s or Nesta’s. Nesta.

Bay felt tears prick behind his eyes at the thought of Nesta. Suddenly the memory of her bleeding out seared itself into his mind. Bay opened his eyes, trying to shut down the image as best as he could, but it was still there. Bay’s breath hitched, his fingers curling into a ball as he willed himself to not cry. The loss was so profound in his chest it nearly swallowed him whole.

Nate looked down at him, his fingers combing through Bay’s hair. “Baylor,” Nate whispered. “It’s okay. I miss her too.”

He didn’t know how Nate knew what he was upset about but it didn’t matter. He just pressed his face into Nate’s neck, enveloping his senses with apples and lavender, drowning out the tightness in his chest. Nate tightened his grip around Bay’s waist and kissed the top of his head. “It’s only been two months, your allowed to cry. She was your mom.”

It came out so soft and it had him breaking apart. Tears rolled down Bay’s cheeks, a sob in the bottom of his throat.. It was so unbelievably unfair. Cassian shouldn’t have to live without his mate. Aysel shouldn’t have to grow up without a mother and her twin brother. Ash shouldn’t have to feel so much guilt for not being able to save her.

Nate ran his fingers through Bay’s hair, his thumb brushing the tears off his cheeks. Bay looked at him and moved to press a kiss on Nate’s lips. He tasted salt but he ignored it as Nate’s mouth opened beneath his.

Bay climbed the rest of the way on top of Nate and straddled his sides and kissed him senseless, letting every thought leave his head. Nate parted from his lips and looked up at him with black eyes and flushed cheeks. “Baylor-“

“Distract me,” Bay said roughly. “Please. Make me forget.”

Nate’s eyes flared and licked his lips, his hands going to unbutton Bay’s shirt. The heat from Nate seeped into Bay’s skin as he ran his hands down Bay’s chest, wrapping around his waist, pulling him deeper into his lap.

Nate flipped them over, pressing Bay into the mattress with firm hands, his mouth pressing kisses into his skin. Bay closed his eyes and arched his neck. He felt teeth go into his throat. He wasn’t gentle and Bay didn’t want him to be. But it didn’t hurt either. As a matter of fact, it brought some life back into his numb body. He groaned and fisted Nate’s hair as Nate’s teeth sunk deeper into his skin.

He forgot about everything.

——

Bay opened his eyes and looked around the darkness, the blood in his body frenzying in fear. He couldn’t see an inch in front of his face if he tried: Darkness swallowed him whole. His heart pounded through him as he smelled apples and lavender. Nate couldn’t be here, he didn’t know where he was and he was fucking glad he didn’t know where he was. But why was he scenting him? Was it because if the dream?

He brought his knees to his chest and pressed his face in his hands. He wanted to forget everything. Just pretend the last nine days had never happened. No. He wished the last four months never happened. That he never left Nate, that he never listened to an Adrien in pain. He wished he didn’t fuck the male from the bar. He wished to the Mother, that obviously had it out for him, that he never disappointed Cassian. Or Aysel.

Tears spilled down his cheeks onto his ruined body. He just wanted to forget everything. Bay looked up into the black around him. There was a way to forget everything. There was a way to forget it all.

He whispered his goodbyes, letting go.

And went feral.


	59. Chapter 59

“I told you I’m not looking for casual sex right now,” Cyrian said, leaning against the wall, kicking the door closed. He crossed his arms, staring at Raanana, as she sat on the desk. A smirk pulled at her lips and she laughed, crossing her arms to mock him.

“That’s too bad. I kind of am,” She shrugged, giving into his jab and playing his game, and Cyrian narrowed her eyes. She raised her hands in a mock surrender, before pulling her legs into a crossed position, balancing on the Commander’s desk. A part of Cyrian wondered if she had found casual sex with the Commander to grant her and him access to his office, but a large part of Cyrian decided not to care.

Alvarez didn’t say he had to care about everything.

“What is this about?” Cyrian asked, his fingers twitching against his side. He, Maze, and Alvarez had just signed the lease on their apartment a few days ago. The girls were pretty happy about it. Cyrian didn’t care, as long as no one used the place like a halfway house, he was fine in the end. He was pretty sure they were out shopping for furniture and the thought of going with them made him want to drown himself.

Luckily Raanana had finally contacted him. His big present for not dying after facing off with Demeytria and Atropine. Apparently the duo was still yanking at Cassian’s hair when it came to negotiation. Demeytria wanted to make sure there were no loopholes and rumors said Atropine, and Thanatos, still wanted to leave in the Court of Nightmares. Cyrian hoped Cassian went to sleep with a migraine every night.

“I want to train you.”

Cyrian blinked slowly. “Excuse me?” He asked and Raanana nodded, placing her chin in her palm.

“You’re good. That much I can tell from just looking at you. Drakon and the rest of us are leaving eventually, we’ll be back, but I want you to come with us. Be my…”

“Your project?” Cyrian growled softly and Raanana shook her head, eyebrows furrowed.

“No. You’ve been pulled at and experimented on enough. I’m just giving you a chance to leave all this behind, start over, be something more than Atropine’s Son. Isn’t that what you were saying the other day?” Raanana leaned forward, her feathered wings flaring out.

“No.” Cyrian said and Raanana blinked. Cyrian repeated himself. “As much as I’m not best friends with most of the people in my life, I have people who I’m sticking by. I’m not running away with you, no matter how good you look in a leather skirt.”

Raanna chuckled and she nodded. “Fair enough. Maybe another time? I’ll come back in a decade or two. Let you and your not best friends settle down a bit. I look forward to hearing if I still look good enough in a leather skirt.” Raanana raised her hand for him to shake and Cyrian paused.

“I know you went to Cassian when you were young.” Cyrian clenched his fists, staring at the Seraphim. “If you ever come to me, for anything, I won’t turn you away.”

Cyrian spun on his heels and left without responding.

—

Aurora placed her head in her arms, resting against the counter, watching Blake cook for her. She smiled when he burnt her bacon and laughed softly, shaking her head. “Oh you’re hopeless, you know that?” Blake coughed slightly and scratched the back of his neck.

“Maybe it’s best if I don’t cook for you anyway…” He trailed off and Aurora sighed, rubbing under her eyes. She slowly slid out of her chair and Blake started forward, but she swatted his hands away, and limped over to the cabinets. The Heir to the Dawn Court stood on her toes, peering inside. She felt Blake’s hand on her waist.

“I’m fine, Blake.” She wasn’t fine. She wasn’t sure what fine was, not really. It had been a little over a week and she was still adjusting to being awake. Apparently she had been in her coma for over a year. She had missed a year of everything. Tarus was at Zev’s place and Aurora felt at ease knowing that he was looking after her sibling, but she wanted them close.

Maze had apparently house jumped and was now staying with Cyrian and his sister. Blake told her she and Adrien had broken up and something in her stomach twisted. That something twisted a lot at the mention of Maze. She wanted to talk to her best friend and ask if she was okay.

But she hadn’t even left Blake’s room unless it was to eat or to babysit Nikolaj. Blake’s baby brother was a small ball of joy and giggles and a good escape from everything else. Aurora took the weight off Mor and Azriel by acting as a babysitter and Blake surprivised - whether it was his brother or her she wasn’t sure.

Blake kissed her temple as Aurora got off her toes. She pressed her forehead into his chest, before walking back to her seat with her crackers. She still couldn’t hold much down, but the crackers were a start.

Blake watched her. He always watched her. He watched her as if she was two seconds away from crumbling and breaking apart. Aurora tried to not let it get to her, but it was slowly chipping away at her resolve. She loved Blake, but he was smothering her. “How’s Adrien?” She asked, breaking a cracker in half. She munched on it, licking her lips.

“I think everything’s catching up to him, you know, the break up. He’s in love with Maze and they were together two years.” It twisted in her stomach again, that feeling. Aurora nodded and she shrugged, not sure exactly what to say. Her mate’s oldest youngest brother stayed in his room or snuck off in the middle of the night, but he was always back. Neither of them asked where he went. Azriel was busy with something and Mor was recovering from giving birth with her wife, Leta.

She could tell it was wearing Blake down, worrying about his siblings. They hadn’t seen Nate much either which was why Aurora let him fuss over her more than she was comfortable with. She munched on a few more crackers and let the silence fill the kitchen, before she looked over at Blake.

He wasn’t looking at her. He was looking over her shoulder, his fists clenched. Aurora turned around, a cracker hanging out her mouth, and her bottom lip dropped in surprise when she saw Cyrian. The cracker fell on the floor and Cyrian watched it fall.

“Did the coma turn your brain wanky?” He asked and Aurora scowled softly. Cyrian rose his eyebrows and wiggled them. “Oh, come on. No middle finger?” Aurora leaned back and raised her middle finger, sticking her tongue out, and Cyrian winked. “There we go. I liked that extra spice you added.”

Aurora laughed. She covered her mouth, before looking at Blake. Technically this was the first time she laughed. She chuckled here and there, and soft polite giggles, but nothing like a laugh. Aurora shook her head and stuck another cracker in her mouth, speaking around it. “That’s a pretty bag. Where’d you get it from? I think it compliments your eyes.”

Cyrian turned his face up and wiggled his middle finger at Aurora. She snorted, covering her mouth before cracker bits flew out. Blake narrowed his eyes, staring forward. Aurora raised her hand, shaking her head, laughing. She tried to choke out a small, ‘I’m fine,’ but she kept laughing.

“It’s Maze’s, Sleeping Beauty. But thanks for noticing my eyes.”

“You can leave now,” Blake said, cutting through the moment with a sharp blade. Cyrian’s face went back to being hard and solid, revealing nothing. Cyrian snapped his teeth at Blake half heartedly, before he turned away.

“Wait!” Aurora called out, sliding out her chair. She hurried over to Cyrian. “Maze is staying with you, right?” She asked and Cyrian nodded, staring down at her. Aurora turned back to Blake, biting her lip. “I kind of want to see her. I’ll be back, I swear. And someone has to stay here and look after Nik.”

“I’ll be careful with her,” Cyrian added as after thought. Aurora smiled, but Blake scowled. She knew her mate wasn’t Cyrian’s biggest fan, but she wanted to see Maze. Aurora gave Blake her best pleading eyes and a pout and he sighed. Aurora clapped her hands once, before gripping onto Cyrian’s forearm.

“Thanks,” Aurora muttered softly as Cyrian sucked them both into his shadows.

—

Music blared throughout their apartment. Maze swore the walls shook with the bass, but she didn’t care. Alvarez was across the hall, dancing around as she hung up a painting. The female whipped her hair back and forth, jumping up and down, before jumping across the bed. She grinned at Maze and waved, before pumping her hands in front of her chest.

Maze laughed and mocked the movement and both their shrill laughter filled the halls. Maze turned for a moment, examining her own room. It was simple, but it was enough. She had a bed in the corner and a desk in the other corner, and a couch across the room, with a rug in the center.

Maze had hung up some curtains and different posters. She looked over at Alvarez’s room and whereas hers had a black and gold theme, Alvarez had a silver and red theme. Cyrian’s sister danced around her room, rolling her hips and flailing her arms around. Maze laughed again.

They had both decided to toss Cyrian in the basement, which he had turned into a bedroom. The other side of the house held their bathrooms and the living room and the middle level was an emptied out sitting room that Alvarez had made into her own personal space to dance and play music in the middle of the night. Cyrian stopped shouting after the second night.

“Alvarez!” Maze screamed over the music. Alvarez spun around and she held up her pointer finger, before rushing downstairs to turn off the music. Maze chuckled when the loud blasting turned off and she jogged back upstairs, poking her head into the room.

“Yeah?”

“I’m hungry.” Maze pouted and Alvarez laughed. Maze grinned and took Alvarez’s outstretched hand and they both walked down the staircase adjacent to the other staircase on the other side of the hall. As they got down the last steps, Cyrian winnowed in with Aurora.

Maze squealed and rushed forward, pushing him aside. Aurora laughed and wrapped her arms around her neck and Maze sighed, pulling her best friend closer. She wasn’t sure which one of them was doing most of the holding and hugging, but she didn’t care. She nuzzled the side of Aurora’s head.

“Are you okay? Why did he winnow you? Cyrian, you could have hurt her!’

Cyrian rolled his eyes and walked up the stairs. She smiled, noticing her bag in his hand. Maze turned around and saw Alvarez looking at her brother, awkwardly leaning against the railing. “Alvarez, this is Aurora. Aurora, this is Cyrian’s sister. I think you guys will like each other.”

Alvarez wiggled her fingers and Aurora smiled timidly. Maze grabbed her hand and dragged her into the kitchen, snagging Alvarez with her other hand. Alvarez looked over at Aurora, sizing her up, before she opened the fridge and got to working on Maze’s favorite dish of hers. She had Alvarez to make it everyday.

It was a type of stew Maze had never had and Alvarez told her her mother taught her how to make it. Her mother was from one of the outer regions, one of the farthest away from the Court of Nightmares. They had different cultures out there, by being the farthest away from ‘Rhysand and his pretentious and bland foods’ as Alvarez had put it.

She noticed the different dishes she and Cyrian cooked, but how they had similarities as well. Both the siblings also spoke the same language that Maze only knew a few words of. The language was apparently native in some of the regions and war camps. There was so much of her own Court that Maze didn’t even know.

So much that Rhys didn’t know. Being with Alvarez for only over a week had allowed Maze to understand so much of the female’s justified anger with the High Lord. Alvarez had also toned it back a little bit, listening to stories about Rhys that Maze shared. Cyrian never listened. He would come around.

“So… do you and Cyrian share mother or a father?” Aurora asked. Alvarez froze in the middle of cutting the chicken she was going to put in the dish. Maze swallowed, biting her thumbnail. Alvarez took a slow breath.

“Neither. Cyrian’s parents are irrelevant. Both my parents are dead. I’m sure you understand family is more than blood.” Alvarez went back to chopping, a little harder this time. Maze shared a look with Aurora, rubbing her back.

“Sorry.” Aurora mumbled, tucking her arms under herself.

“Those clothes are too big for you. Boyfriend’s?” Alvarez asked, changing the subject. “You can borrow some of mine. It’ll be easier to move around and we pretty much have the same body type. Turn the music back on when you go up.”

Maze directed Aurora to Alvarez’s room, turning the music on as she went. Aurora walked up the stairs and she heard Alvarez singing the song, which was loud enough to shake this apartment to the ground.

—-

“He’s a good kid,” Raanana was saying, nursing her drink. She twirled the glass timidly in her hand, before taking another small sip. She smirked slightly against the glass when the Commander knocked his own glass all the way back. “They’re all good kids.”

“Are all our conversations going to be about Cyrian Infernos?” Cassian wondered, filling his glass again. Raanana reached forward, taking the pitcher from him, capping it, and setting it aside. She turned in his chair, letting her legs hang over the edge, swaying them from side to side.

“What would you like them to be about instead? I’m sure we set up firm boundaries before… this drinking game began.” Raanana hummed, taking another slow sip of her alcohol. She sighed and leaned her head back, her eyelashes fluttering.

“What is your fascination with him, anyway?”

Raanana froze, her fingers tapping against the glass. “He has a condition I am fully aware of - my deceased wife had it. I think he knows and I think the only reason he’s doing something is because he doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

Raanana looked down at the light brown drink, before knocking it back and letting it burn her throat. She groaned and grabbed the pitcher, filling her own glass again, before looking at Cyrian with hooded eyes. “It killed my wife. I think he knows I know, maybe that’s why he hides behind poor excuses of sex.”

“You’re twenty times his age.”

“Don’t make it sound like I’m a fossil, Commander.” Raanana laughed softly. She finally took Cassian in, letting the alcohol take part of the back of her mind. She squinted, looking him up and down. He looked like a Hell. A look that was only brought upon by two things. Raanana was very acquainted with those things, but they had set up boundaries and she wouldn’t betray him by bringing them up.

“Tell me. If you’re Drakon’s infamous Ground Commander, why haven’t I met you before?”

The door creaked open and Raanana turned around, noticing the boy at the door. She looked back at Cassian, before gulping down her drink. She sighed and set her cup down, before pulling herself out of her chair, fixing her skirt. “Maybe you didn’t have the clearance, Commander.”

Raanana winked before slipping past the Illyrian boy and she heard Cassian’s soft laughter.

—-

Aurora was taking in Alvarez’s room, when Cyrian rapped his knuckles against the doorframe. She jumped slightly and Cyrian rose his eyebrows, before walking in. He made a small circle, before falling back against his sister’s bed, closing his eyes.

“Collecting information for your mate?” Cyrian teased and Aurora shook her head, before realizing he couldn’t see that.

“No.” She said and Cyrian nodded. Aurora turned around and started opening drawers, looking through Alvarez’s clothes. Cyrian opened an eye, before closing it again and curling in on himself, messing up the bedspread.

Such an older brother.

“I’m going to change now,” Aurora said awkwardly and Cyrian waved her off, tucking a pillow under his head. Aurora bit her lip before quickly slipping Blake’s sweatpants off and sliding on a pair of Alvarez’s shorts that reach her navel and ended right on her upper thighs. She took off Blake’s shirt and slipped on an off the shoulder top.

“You done?” Cyrian groaned, flopping onto his back. Aurora muttered her confirmation and he opened his eyes, blinking slowly. His eyebrows furrowed as Maze and Alvarez’s yelled-singing traveled up the stairs and Cyrian groaned, sitting up slightly. He sucked in his breath quickly before yelling, “SHUT UP.”

There was a pause before Alvarez screamed back, “YOU SHUT UP.”

Aurora laughed and she climbed into the bed and as a result Cyrian silently moved his legs to make room for her. “Something on your mind, Sleeping Beauty?” Aurora took a slight breath and she ran her fingers through her thick hair, pulling out the tangles, before spouting out.

“Have you ever been attracted to the same gender?” Aurora swallowed the lump in her throat. Cyrian slowly opened his eyes and he looked at her, before looking at the open door. He crawled to the edge of the bed and instead of getting up he leaned over the side and pushed it shut. He sat back by the headboard and stared at Aurora.

“Have you?” He asked, crossing his ankles. Aurora bit her lip and Cyrian cracked his knuckles. He took a shallow breath and seemed to contemplate his words. “Just because Blake is your mate doesn’t meant you can’t have feelings…. for girls…”

Aurora felt like she was being given the awkward sex talk by a complete stranger. But that was why she was able to spit this out to Cyrian. She barely knew him, not really. She could tell he had changed so she didn’t know this new him. She could tell him and she knew he wouldn’t tell anyone else, because he didn’t care enough to bother. It didn’t have to leave this room and that was what Aurora needed.

“Just because you love Blake doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings for girls.”

“This isn’t about me.” Aurora said quickly and Cyrian nodded slowly. He sat up on his head, tugging at Alvarez’s bedspread, before tucking his wings in. He scratched at his shoulder, before sighing.

“I have.” Cyrian trailed off and nodded, “I’ve had cookies about the same gender before.”

“Cookies?” Aurora snorted.

Cyrian laughed and he nodded. “Cookies.”

“Who did you have cookies for?” Aurora whispered, pulling her knees into her chest. She felt like her heart would go flying out of her ribcage and smack Cyrian in the face. She was sure he could hear the heavy pounding of it inside of her, but she couldn’t stop it. Or the clamminess that was appearing on her palms.

Cyrian licked his lips and Aurora realized maybe this was a hard topic for him, too. She was about to tell him to forget about it, but it was too late. “Nate.” Cyrian whispered and Aurora’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “It was a one time thing, or it was supposed to be. This prick attacked him for being who he was and that day I was feeling particularly generous. He has this irrational fear of having his wrists snapped because of his art, so I snapped the guy’s wrists instead.”

Cyrian laughed, and leaned his head against the headboard. “Nate, ever the thankful person, got down on his knees. It wasn’t the sex… it was Nate. He wasn’t the first guy that I had maybe had cookies for, and I didn’t have cookies for Nate until that moment, but… he was a very large deciding factor for me.”

“Does anyone know?” Aurora asked, biting her lip.

“About the cookies or the sex?”

“Both.”

“Only you. Maze knows about the cookies.”

Aurora nodded and she tried to take this in. She figured neither Cyrian or Nate wanted Adrien and Blake to know about their… past together. It wasn’t their business to begin with, but the two of them had a habit of inserting themselves where they didn’t belong. “Did you… want to bake the cookies with Nate?”

Cyrian paused, trying to figure out what she meant. He nodded, before continuing.

“I’ve wanted to bake cookies with quite a few people in general, all genders.” Aurora blinked. Maybe the shock was clear on her face, because Cyrian tilted the side of his mouth. “Surprised? I didn’t. I wasn’t ready. Someone came along and made me ready and ever since I’ve been ready to bake cookies with whoever has the right ingredients for me.”

There was a long silence and Aurora squeezed her knees tightly, before mumbling. “I want to bake cookies with Maze.” She took a few moments, before looking up at Cyrian and her heart dropped into her stomach. “But I’m afraid… I’m afraid it’ll ruin the… friend cookies we have between us.”

“I want to bake cookies with Maze, too, so you’re not that special, Aurora.” Aurora laughed and she felt an ease begin to settle in her chest. She noted this was the first time Cyrian used her name. She swallowed and let out a sigh. “I think if you tell Maze about your desire to bake with her, you’ll find that she’ll accept your cookies.”

“I want to bake cookies with Blake, too.”

“Disgusting.” Cyrian mumbled and Aurora laughed again.

“Is there… is there a name for the cookies? To… to explain me?” Aurora wiped her sweaty palms on her legs.

“One, you don’t need to be explained. You are who you are and your cookies are apart of that. Two, that’s something you have to figure out for yourself, Aurora. It’ll take some time to find yourself and the right name for your cookies, but you will. And whether you just want to tell yourself, or you want to tell Blake, or if you want to tell everyone is up to you.”

“So these cookies… aren’t bad?”

Cyrian shook his head. “These cookies are fantastic and I think you’ll find only Adrien and Blake have cookies for the opposite sex and opposite sex only. Weirdos.”

—

Tarus bit their lip as Zev angled his head to the side, allowing them to see the red markings around his throat. They cracked their knuckles, prolonging the time until they actually had to touch his skin. It was a song and dance they were used to, but they had both gotten more comfortable with the other’s touch.

Of course Tarus sometimes couldn’t help that they jumped when Zev gently placed his hand on their shoulder from behind, or that goosebumps rose on their skin when he walked too close. They knew what Zev was doing, it was obvious. Replacing bad memories with the good.

“You don’t have to,” Zev whispered, knowing the bruises may bring back unpleasant memories for them. Tarus shook their head and they pushed themself back, taking deep breaths, before rubbing their palms together. Tarus angled Zev’s chin away, before dragging their opposite thumb down the base of his throat, testing out the bruises.

“How badly does this hurt?” Tarus whispered as they applied pressure to Zevakyn’s windpipe. They heard slight wheezing but of course ever the predictable type, Zev shook it off. Tarus sighed, but nodded nonetheless and they gave Zev a simple pain killer, before washing their hands in the sink hurridly.

“You did good.”

“And you did a stupid thing,” Tarus replied, drying their hands on the hand towel. “Baylor is a walking safety hazard for you. You’re always caught in the crossfire. You don’t owe him anything else.”

“Then I guess I can owe all my debts to you.”

Tarus’s cheeks flushed and their ears flushed soon after at the triumphant look on Zev’s face when he left the bathroom. “I don’t,” Tarus sputtered, tugging at their shirt, “I don’t want you to owe me anything.”

After Aurora had… fallen asleep, Tarus had felt a rage they’d never felt before. It was Zev that managed to keep it in check. It was Zev who remembered Tarus was homeless, it was Zev that allowed them to sleep at his place. It was Zev that allowed Tarus to talk and just talk; it was Zev who made him tea and cookies and just listened.

It was Zev who stopped them from killing their father. It was Zev who stopped Thesan from going back to the Dawn Court, Zev who made that prick explain. It was Zev who kept that secret, Zev who gave Tarus the only thing they were always looking for: answers.

Tarus hadn’t had known what questions to ask, but looking at Thesan’s face, looking at features he shared, he sputtered, “Did you even love her? My mother? Did you love her?” Zev had stood behind Tarus, before Tarus gave him a discreet sign that it was okay to sit beside them.

“I did, just not in the way that you think, Tarus.”

What Tarus learned that day, they would have to tell Aurora eventually. The details were still fuzzy to him, but their father - no their uncle - assured them that he hadn’t told Aurora. Tarus wasn’t able to bite their tongue and he spat out, “Why because her body is too weak after you beat her?”

Their uncle cringed. Thesan’s palms had turned clammy and he sputtered, “Tarus, I loved your father. He was my brother, but after the War something happened to my mind-”

“You said this already,” Tarus had growled softly and Zev had suggested that maybe it was time for Thesan to leave. He had, but not after saying Aurora and they would always have a safe home in the Dawn Court. Tarus snorted in the High Lord’s face.

“He’s a good person.” Tarus had heard his uncle say when they slammed the bathroom door shut behind them, allowing Zev to do the honors of kicking him out. Zev had roughly cleared his throat, opening his apartment down.

“They. They are a wonderful person despite what they went through.”

A pause. Always a pause. “They look just like their mother,” Was all their uncle said before he left. Zev gave Tarus a few minutes, before going to check on them. That was the first hug they had shared. Tarus hadn’t hugged him since, but Zev knew.

“Tarus?” Zev asked, waving his hand in front of their face. Tarus blinked, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, before clicking off the lights and nodding.

“Yeah?” They asked, slowly blinking back into the present. A cold sweat had broken out on their forehead, after remembering what happened between them and Thesan. Zev stared into their eyes, noticing the sweat on their brow, before coughing softly.

“Do you want to visit Aurora?”

—-

“Do you steal other male’s mates for fun?” Alvarez smirked as she dipped a chip in her homemade dip, crunching down on it hard. Cyrian gave her a blank stare before doing the same, nearly snapping his teeth in half against each other. Alvarez laughed and she finished making herself a drink, pouring into her long glass.

“She’s a little more age appropriate. Twenty-one? Twenty-two?”

Cyrian responded with another blank stare. “Stop baiting me, Rez.”

Alvarez pouted, rubbing salt on the rim of her glass, before adding a sliced lime and a bendy straw. She took another chip out of the bowl, putting way too much dip on it, before crunching down on it. She licked the corners of her mouth, sighing. “Then what’s the fun of all these girls fawning over you?”

Cyrian snorted and reached his hand out. Alvarez groaned and handed him her glass, grimacing as he licked the salt off the rim, before eating her lime. She growled at him, taking her glass back. “You’re so disgusting.”

Cyrian grinned.

Alvarez sighed and she sprinkled salt around the edge of her glass again, cutting another slice of lime as Cyrian heaved an even louder sigh and began to make himself a drink. “I wasn’t going to do it for you,” Alvarez deadpanned, taking a small sip of her drink before groaning. “Were you serious? Before… when you said you would train me, and I would train with others?”

Cyrian sucked on another slice of lime, staring at Alvarez before nodding, pressing his nose into her hair in some semblance of a kiss, before rising out a glass. He took the lime slice out of his mouth, licking his lips. “You’re trained, Rez. You’re good, better than good. You just have to fight the way they fight, beat them at their own game.”

“I don’t want to fight for Rhysand.” Alvarez whispered, chewing on her bendy straw. Her eyes traveled his body, as if looking for the Night Court insigma that he would never be able to get rid of. A chill went up Cyrian’s spine.

“Then you don’t have to. You don’t have to complete the Blood Rite. You just have to prove to Cassian you’re as good as everyone else who did. Which shouldn’t be hard, his idiot nephews somehow made it through.”

“With the help of my adoring big brother,” Alvarez grinned, walking over slowly. She stretched her arms out and wiggled her shoulders and Cyrian groaned a soft ‘Don’t’ before Alvarez giggled and jumped on his back, splattering kisses across his cheeks.

“Tell me the story again.”

“What are you? Five?” Cyrian looked up at her, grimacing when Alvarez smacked a particularly wet kiss on his forehead. She smiled and hooked her ankles over his abs, reaching forward to grab her drink. Cyrian finished making his own and he got two bottles filled with pink and green liquid from the fridge.

Alvarez snorted. “Are your girlfriend and her best friend itty bitty light weights?”

“Says the girl already giggling.” Cyrian chuckled and Alvarez giggled, nodding. She drank more of her drink as Cyrian walked them into the main room, where Maze and Aurora had set up pillows and blankets, legs linked as they walked.

Aurora looked up as they walked in and she gave a small, barely noticeable shake of her head. “Pink or green, ladies. I’m not spending my night with you lot if I’m sober.” Cyrian raised his eyebrows and Maze grabbed the green drink, while Aurora grabbed the pink one.

Maze looked over at her with a teasing grin. “What do you have in Dawn Court?”

“Stronger stuff than in Night Court.”

“Bet.” Cyrian mumbled, easily joining in on their banter. He dropped Alvarez from his back and grabbed his drink from her, before plopping down on the stairs and watching the girls chug down their drinks. Maze finished first and he smirked, taking a sip of his own drink.

—-  
Dearest Alvarez,

It has not been long since we’ve last seen each other and yet I can not help but think of you with each passing moment. We’ve gone through everything together, we’ve grown together. We’ve said hello and goodbye together and yet I could never imagine a time where I would have had to say goodbye to you, Alvarez.

I know life isn’t fair, but didn’t a part of you think it had changed for us? That maybe we would be enough to turn the tides, to change the odds? I did. Were those silly dreams, Alvarez? Because I still dream of them, while you are off doing Cauldron knows what and I am happy for you, I am.

There are things we didn’t get to say, bridges we didn’t get to burn, ties we didn’t get to cut, and it has left me here, writing this to you and unlikely to send it. Where would I send it? I know, I know I have done some things that… left things questionable between us, Alvarez.

I want to clear the air.

I have always loved you and I always will. I do not think this lifetime is for us, though. I think life is a turning wheel and if the fates are ever so kind to us, we will meet again. You will not know who I am and I will not know who you are, but I will recognize you. I will recognize your scarily calm and collected demeanor, but also that fire burning behind your eyes.

When we find the life after this one, Alvarez, love me in it. Love me wholeheartedly, let us not waste a moment. Find me, Alvarez. Find me in that next life and I will love you. I promise you that.

Vaida

Vaida stopped moving the pen across the page and she stared down at her writing. A tear ran down her cheek before she balled the paper into a ball, tossing it into the fire. She watched as the parchment slowly curled and burned to ashes, before she looked away. And tried not to look back.

—-

“Tarus!” Aurora sing-sang, giggling as she leaned against the doorway. Aurora giggled and jumped up and down, launching herself at her sibling and spinning around. Zev’s eyes widened and he turned to Tarus, whose cheeks burned red, before they slowly wrapped their arms around their sister.

“Is she drunk?” Zev asked, looking around the room. An unfamiliar female burst into laughter, nodding and wiping her wet lips on her arm. She knocked into Maze, wrapping her arms around the other female’s shoulders, laughing louder.

“She’s such a light weight!”

Maze snickered, chewing on her thumbnail and watching Aurora. “Dance with me, Aurora.” Maze hummed, stumbling to her feet. Aurora’s eyes brightened and she skipped over to Maze, before pulling her into a hug and the girls rocked to a music that wasn’t playing.

Cyrian took a long sip of his drink. “How did you find us?” Alvarez shot him a look. “I told you I didn’t want houseguests.” Cyrian murmured, sipping his drink again, before standing up from the stairs. Zev watched carefully and he was disappointed the great Cyrian Infernos gave no signs of being drunk other than not being the second person to shove him against a wall and choke him.

Cyrian pointed to Tarus. “Drink?” He asked, eyebrows raised. Tarus hugged themself and Cyrian wiggled his eyebrows. Tarus shook his head and Cyrian gave out a long groan, before snapping his fingers at Zev, “I’m getting you a drink,” and he left the room, going into what Zev guessed was the kitchen.

“Tarus!” Aurora called again. She smiled, reaching out her arm and waving him over. Maze spun around, swaying back and forth, her eyes closed. Tarus looked over at Zev and Zev gently squeezed their shoulder. Aurora watched them and she smiled softly, before going back to dancing with Maze.

“Cy-Cy!” The other girl called out, lying on her back with her feet in the air. She chewed on her hair gently and Cyrian called out a few choice words, before coming back with another drink for her. The girl opened her mouth and Cyrian narrowed his eyes before plopping a lime slice into her mouth then he tossed Zev his drink.

“Who is she?” Zev asked, slowly twisting the cap off his drink.

“My drunk sister Alvarez.” Cyrian said, staring down at the said sister. Zev said nothing. “Why are you here again?” Cyrian asked, chewing on a lime peel. He looked down when Alvarez lifted her drink up and silently took it, licking the salt off around the rim, before handing it back.

“Tarus was looking for Aurora. We went to Blake’s house, taking into account he probably wouldn’t detached himself from her hip. He sent us here instead. Gave us a pleasant little message about how you’re a mate-stealer.”

Cyrian gave an appreciative look, nodding. “I can see how he came to that conclusion. Still don’t know how any of you know where I live.”

“Everyone knows everything about everyone when it comes to anything.”

Cyrian blinked. “I hate you people.”

“I can see how you came to this conclusion.” Both Cyrian and Zev gave Tarus startled looks, not expecting to hear a joke from them. Tarus smiled and they shrugged and Cyrian smirked, going back to silently chewing on his lime peel. Maybe this was drunk Cyrian; chewing on lime peels.

—

“We have more houseguests, Cy-Cy.” Alvarez said after about an hour of more alcohol and more mingling. Cyrian sat up on his elbows, squinting slightly.

“I’ve gone to Hell, haven’t I?” He mumbled, blinking again and falling backwards, slamming his head against the wood floor. Tarus and Zev had joined Aurora and Maze in dancing, but as the latter of the four made the dancing more and more provocative the more drinks she had, the former two adopted to sit out.

“Do I let them in?” Alvarez called out, balancing a leg on the doorway, blocking Blake and Adrien from walking in. She grinned and looked over at the brothers, resting her arm against Blake’s chest. “I don’t think he’s going to let me let you in. How did you get here?”

“We followed the smell of alcohol and desperation.”

Alvarez’s face dropped into a scowl and Cyrian growled. “We don’t all live with a loving Mommy and Daddy,” Alvarez shoved Blake weakly, before walking over to Cyrian and falling into his lap as he sat up. She buried her face in his neck, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and watched her new found friends dance. Alvarez took Cyrian’s hand and placed it on top of her head and Cyrian stroked her hair, tugging out the tangles as he picked up a lime peel from a plate and slowly chewed on it, looking at Blake and Adrien.

“Invite only.” He said, smirking. “I can’t be a mate-stealer if the mates are here.” Alvarez giggled, stretching in his lap.

“You’re such a comedian.”

“He’s positively hilarious.” Blake scowled.

“Your pretty face is gonna get stuck like that.” Alvarez winked at him. Alvarez crawled out of Cyrian’s lap and she slid across the floor, messing with the sound system, turning it all the way up. Tarus cringed slightly, their head resting against Zev’s shoulder.

“And you’re gonna be deaf.” Blake commented back.

“Ha-ha. Positively hilarious.”

“Watch out, ladies.” Alvarez slurred slightly, “I’m older.” She mumbled, rocking her body slightly as the music started, her heels clanking against the wooden floor. Maze pulled Aurora away, falling down next to Cyrian and pulling her friend down with her. They both started laughing and Aurora sighed.

“Hi, Blake.”

Cyrian squinted. “Is that my sweatshirt?” He mumbled as Alvarez started dancing, flinging her hair back and forth and gripping what indeed was Cyrian’s sweatshirt. She popped her hip forward, spinning around and started stomping her heels on the ground.

“How is she doing that in heels?” Aurora tilted her head to the side, her eyes widening and she giggles, hiding her face in Maze’s hair.

“You can keep it.” Cyrian commented. He turned back to Blake and Adrien, leaving Maze and Aurora to laugh on the floor. He got up, before standing next to the two of them, snapping in Adrien’s face. “Leave.”

“No!” Alvarez cried out. She rushed forward, stumbling into Adrien’s chest. “Dance with me.”

“He can’t dance.” Maze whispered. Adrien looked over at her, before Alvarez yanked him forward. Cyrian looked back at Maze and noticed the sad cloud that had dampened her mood. Aurora hugged her, nuzzling the side of her face.

“Everyone can dance.” Alvarez said, blowing a strand of hair out of her face. She placed her palms on Adrien’s shoulders and tugged him forward, staring down at his feet. “You have two left feet,” She mumbled, kicking at his feet until she was sure he wasn’t going to step on her toes.

“Just sway to the music,” Alvarez whispered, reaching down and grabbing Adrien’s hips. She swayed his hips back and forth, still kicking at his feet. She grinned and bent her knees, doing the same thing. “You fight with your hips, right? I mean kind of, so dance that way. Find your rhythm.”

“He looks like a dying duck.” Cyrian deadpanned.

Alvarez scowled at him over her shoulder. “We can’t all be blessed like you, you know.” Cyrian grinned. Alvarez sighed and she let go of Adrien’s shoulders, putting space between them. “Oh, I love this song.” She whispered, turning her back to face Adrien.

Alvarez bent her knees and slid down, popping her hips from left to right, raising her arms in the air. Her body looked like a snake, sliding against Adrien’s then she slid to her knees and slid across the floor, reaching her hand up. Cyrian stared down at her, rolling his eyes, before gripping her forearm and spinning her around, letting her get to her feet.

“I don’t give dance lessons for free.” Cyrian said, but Alvarez crossed her arms.

“I hate you,” Cyrian muttered, before grabbing her sweatshirt sleeve and tugging her forward, grabbing her waist and spinning her, before rocking his hips, resting his arms against her shoulders against her shoulders. “It’s not that hard.” Cyrian said to Adrien, pressing his chin into Alvarez’s head.

“He’s so drunk.” Maze giggled, before dragging Aurora to her feet. Maze gripped Aurora’s waist, moving it a circular motion, before laughing. Aurora spun around, her hair flying in her face and they body rolled at the same time. Maze lifted her arms into the air, swaying side to side, pushing out her opposite foot.

“We didn’t come here to watch you have sex with your clothes on.” Blake said and Tarus choked on their drink in the corner. Aurora rose her eyebrows at him, spinning around. She sauntered up to him and stood up on her toes, pouting.

“This is the most fun I’ve had in ages, Blake.” Aurora kissed his cheek. “Also, Drunk Cyrian is the best thing ever.” She giggled, looking over her shoulder and watch Cyrian slide across the floor on his heels and grab Alvarez’s wrist before spinning her. “He’s so… carefree.”

Cyrian popped his shoulders, rolling his body, before gripping Alvarez’s waist. They did the same two step, Alvarez snapped her head from side to side. She laughed turned around, before both of them pretended to run backwards on their toes.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Aurora whispered, pressing her fingers against his lips. “Or he won’t be like this ever again. Don’t you get it? He let you in.”

“I think we walked in, Aurora.” Blake said, resting his hand against her back, rubbing soothing circles on her skin. Aurora shook her head, sighing and leaning into his embrace.

“We’re all he has.” Aurora kissed Blake’s chest.

“Okay!” Alvarez shouted, as Cyrian placed his hand over his chest and started caving it in and out, a smile on his face. He did a two step move before he looked like a record stuck on repeat, then he went forward instead of backwards.

Maze touched Adrien’s arm, turning his attention away from Alvarez. “Can we talk?”

—-

“I don’t think being on the roof when you’re drunk is the best decision you’ve ever made, Mazakynn.”

Maze looked back at Adrien, her hair blowing in her face. She blinked quickly, wiping her hand across her eyes softly, before turning to face him. “Why did you come here?” Maze whispered, walking towards Adrien and her heart clenched when he took a step back.

“Blake wanted to bring Aurora back home and I… I need to talk to Alvarez about something.”

Maze nodded, licking her lips, and she let out a soft breath. “That’s it?”

Adrien nodded. Maze hiccuped, covering her mouth. Her heart pounded in her ears and she felt a strain against her lungs and her chest, so much her knees began to shake. She took a shuddered breath, before tears ran down her cheeks and she turned away before she shoved Adrien off the roof. “You don’t get it, do you?”

Adrien was silent.

“Oh, Cauldron, you don’t get it! You kicked me out, Adrien. You kicked me out of your life and I… I’m building a new one here and you, you just waltz in and-” Maze choked, coughing down her tears. “I didn’t let you in. Cyrian may have unwillingly let you in under the influence of alcohol, but I did not let you in.”

“Maze.”

“Don’t Maze me, Adrien. You preached so hard about Cyrian understanding me and relating to sides of me you would never be able to, but didn’t you once consider that’s why we worked!” Maze rose her voice, stalking over to Adrien. “I’m not angry. I should be. Cyrian and Alvarez are angry about what happened to them and that is why they hate you and what you represent. They were hopeless because of what happened to them, but you kept me from being hopeless, Adrien.”

“You didn’t know anything about that side of me, you thought you did, but that’s what I needed - what I need. Someone who doesn’t see the abuse survivor side of me, someone who sees just me!” Maze screamed, pushing her hands against Adrien’s chest weakly. She stumbled and he caught her, moving to cup her face, but Maze pulled away.

 

“Cyrian gets it, he gets it so bad. What it feels like to have a fist against your face, what it feels like to survive that every day. He gets what it’s like to have them screw around in your head,” Maze pointed at her temple, more tears running down her face. She hiccuped again. “He gets what it’s like to have these voices that tell you to go back to them, back to the one that hurt you like no other can, and he gets what it’s like to have another voice tell you to leave.”

“I don’t get that, Maze! That’s why he’s better for you!” Adrien rose his own voice and Maze hissed at him.

“You don’t get to tell me who or what is better for me, Adrien!” Maze’s voice cracked as she screamed. “That was not your job, you sick bastard. Didn’t you stop to think for a second that maybe if Cyrian and I are so perfect, such picture perfect survivors, the picture perfect example of broken but healing people, such this and such that, the god damn Cauldron would have put us together!”

“Maybe you were meant to be my knight in shining armor, Adrien,” Maze breathed, pressing her hands against her chest. “I never… I never thought I would be saved, I never thought I would even be able to save myself, and everyone expects me to be strong enough to do that but you… you just saved me. That’s what I needed.”

Maze bent forward, bracing her hands on her knees. She’d never admitted it before. Never admitted that she didn’t want to be as strong as Cyrian or Alvarez, she didn’t want to save herself. She’d had to save herself for so long, that allowing Adrien to save her was so much easier. She saw what Cyrian had to do to get out, she saw how attached he was to Atropine. She saw how attached Alvarez was to her anger. So when Adrien came along and gave her an out, gave her a tunnel to safety, she took it and clung onto that light in the darkness. Clung onto that lifeline, until he cut it.

“I trusted you.” Maze whispered. “I trusted you to… to keep me safe when I got out.”

“You never told me about any of it, Maze.”

Maze squeezed her fists together, wheezing softly. “It’s not that simple, Adrien. Alvarez was right. You and Blake and Nate wake up to a loving Mommy and Daddy and I will never hate you for it, because I’ve been on the receiving end of Mor and Azriel’s love and it is the best feeling in the world.” Maze hiccuped, wiping her face. “But you don’t get what it’s like to expect that of your parents and instead they act like you’re the sole thing in this world for them to hate. Cyrian gets that, but sometimes you don’t always want to be around people who get that. Cyrian gets what it’s like to want the love and approval of your parents and instead you’re locked away like some secret, but they forget that they’re the reason you were born anyway!”

Maze stared up at the stars and she squinted, before stumbling slightly.

She hiccuped, taking another deep breath. “I look at Cyrian and I see a person who will always understand me. I see an abuse survivor and I see a really good person finally realizing he deserves to live. If I ever deserve Cyrian in this lifetime, I’m going to be more than thankful. But when I saw you, when I woke up every morning knowing that you loved and cared for me… I finally felt like I was born for a reason.”

Maze’s face scrunched up and she swallowed lightly, sobbing, not even trying to stop it. “You wanted honesty, Adrien, this is honesty. Lying was a mechanism to hide all this, to hide the little broken shards of me. This is how broken I am - really, really broken. I depended on you so much and maybe it wasn’t healthy. Maybe you grew tired of being my support system, I don’t know. Maybe you were jealous of Cyrian for whatever twisted reason, but I would have been grateful to spend the rest of my life with you. I would have been grateful to be apart of your family forever to… to have a forever with you. I felt unlovable for such a long time. You didn’t love me because you knew all this, you loved me because you… you just did.”

Maze didn’t know when Adrien walked over and held her, but she didn’t want his touch anymore. Didn’t want a comfort that he took away from her, just because he thought that he knew everything. She pressed her finger into his chest, “So don’t ever tell me what’s best for me ever again, Adrien. Because you were what was best for me.”

Maze knocked her shoulder against his and left the roof and Adrien alone with the wind and bright stars.   
—

“I’m going to bed,” Maze muttered, walking back into the apartment. Cyrian looked up, rubbing the back of Alvarez’s neck. He narrowed his eyes, but Maze shook him off with a small smile, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “It’s fine. Have fun before the alcohol wears off. I’ll sleep in my room with Rez and Zev and Tarus can have her room. No one has to share with you.”

Maze rubbed out the back of her neck and Cyrian moved to get up, but Maze waved him off again, feeling her spirit breaking. “Please… let me go to bed. Adrien wants to talk to Alvarez.” Maze whispered and she looked back as Adrien walked in. She scowled and and stomped back upstairs, disappearing out of sight.

Cyrian watched her go upstairs, his fingers still running through Alvarez’s hair, before he turned his gaze back to Adrien. He helped his sister up, before swerving up the staircase and following Maze, without a second glance at Adrien. Alvarez skipped over to Adrien, grabbing his wrist and tugging him into the kitchen.

“What did you do?” She giggled, sliding across the floor on her heels and opening the fridge. “Well Cyrian told me what you did. Something about be good to her, huh? You know, you’re still her mate. You still have to be good to her and love her.”

“The problem is I didn’t stop loving Maze, I-” Alvarez cut him off by throwing a lime at his face.

A few moments later she spun around, holding another drink. “You should also think before you speak. I’ve noticed you have that problem.” Alvarez popped the cap off, jumping up on the counter and taking a long sip, groaning and tilting her head back. “Still want to play knight in shining armor?”

Adrien braced his forearms on the counter, letting his head fall until his forehead rested on the cool surface. “That’s what Maze called me.” Alvarez rose her eyebrows, licking her lips and she swung her body around, facing Adrien.

“It must be nice,” Alvarez whispered. “To not have to fight every day. To just be saved. To not be so furious at the world, because I’m really tired of being angry. But you and your family just give me so many reasons, you know?”

Adrien looked up. “Is it honesty hour?”

Alvarez bit her lip. “Do you want it to be?” She asked and shuffled across the counter, wrapping her legs around Adrien’s waist. She set her drink down and hiccuped, wrapping her arms around his neck. “My father wasn’t horrible. I wish he was. He died during the War with Hybern. He pushed Cassian out of the way when the Cauldron went off and he went poof”

Alvarez reached for her drink, as if being without it for even just a moment was too much. Maybe it was to swallow down her anger, drown it and hope that it couldn’t swim. “If he wasn’t so damn loyal to your Uncle he would have been there for me and my mom.”

“So you vowed never to be loyal to Cassian? Or Rhys?” Adrien whispered and Alvarez nodded.

“It killed my father.” A tear ran down her nose and Alvarez sighed. “At first I wanted to join Cassian’s command. I wanted to do anything it took to wrap my hands around his neck. That anger fed me every day, every night, every minute of my life. My father was just a name to your Uncle, just a body, just a weapon. I wanted him to train another weapon just for it to kill him in his sleep.”

Adrien shuddered and Alvarez grinned slowly. “I’m not just a pretty face.” She sighed and wiped her tear with her thumb, blinking at Adrien. “I was early. I woke up and I didn’t know what was going on when my mother pulled me out of bed, telling me to do things. I didn’t understand, I didn’t get it. I didn’t get why waking up with blood in my bed was such a big deal, you know?”

“Alvarez.”

Alvarez leaned forward, pressing her hand over his mouth. “I wasn’t special. I didn’t even want to fight for myself. We were halfway through the camp when my head started hurting and then I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see in front of me, but I saw someone coming. I threw a really bad right hook and broke my thumb, but I knew why they wanted me. Why maybe I was worth all this trouble, the little girl with an attitude could see into the future if she really tried.”

Alvarez let out a long sigh, taking another sip of her drink, not caring that it most of it spilled. Adrien wiped her chin with his thumb. “Cauldron knows why I was cursed. Why I had to be special. Why I couldn’t just be nothing, why did I have to be desired by grown men. It’s a curse, Adrien, because I knew what was going to happen to me. I saw myself being dragged up there, saw myself losing my wings.” Alvarez’s nose twitched.

“I’ve never flown before.” She tapped her fingers against the counter, sliding her fingers against the cool surface and gripped the edge. “They didn’t teach girls to fly where I was born, just wash and cook. I just wanted to fly once before I lost them. I didn’t know how you can miss something you never used.”

“No one came to save little ole me after they threw me into the dirt, bleeding, screaming, crying. I had to crawl, had to save myself. And I’ve had to save myself ever since. It took me a year to get to Demeytria.” Adrien’s eyes looked over her shoulder as if he could see the scars that marred her skin there and Alvarez reached backwards, rubbing the grooves softly.

“Demeytria couldn’t do anything for them. The scars, they’re pretty ugly. I met Cyrian when I was fifteen. Who knows why I trusted him after everything I had gone through, but he said he wouldn’t hurt me and I wanted to believe him so I did. It was the best decision of my life.”

“What is so great about Cyrian?” Adrien rolled his eyes. Alvarez thumped him on the back of the head.

“Anyway, the reason I told you all of this is because you need to know what you’re doing. This is not some way for you to clear your conscious because you feel bad for snapping Maze’s heart in half like a toothpick. Lives are in your hand, lives that matter. We aren’t just names on a long list or bodies to throw at an enemy. We matter.”

Adrien reached up and wiped her cheek even though Alvarez was positive she hadn’t started crying again. Her breath snag and she looked down at him, before pushing his wrist away, swinging off the table. “I leave in about a week. I’ll come get you.”

She looked back at him, leaning against the doorway, balancing on the toes of her heels. “I’m starting to think you like them damaged, Adrien.” Alvarez bit her lip, before stumbling out of the kitchen.

—-

Cyrian knocked on Maze’s door for what seemed like the twentieth time in the past ten minutes. “Mazakynn.” Cyrian whispered, pressing his forehead against the door. “Open the door.” He mumbled, pushing his palms against the surface, unaware Maze was doing the same thing on the other side.

“You’re drunk.”

“We’re all drunk.” Cyrian shot back, sucking on his bottom lip. “What did he say to you?”

Maze dragged her nails down the door for a moment, before turning her head. “What was it like with Tania?” She asked.

“That’s not a conversation I want to have standing out in the hallway while the rest of your friends can hear.” Cyrian stepped back as Maze opened the door. She grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged him in and Cyrian stumbled, falling back against the couch. He sighed, staring up at her. “This how you wanna do it, huh? Your sofa isn’t that big and you’re gonna get sore pretty quickly.”

Maze rolled her eyes, ignoring the flush that traveled her body, and closed the door, pressing her back against it. “What was it like?”

“Why does everyone keep asking about my dead wife? Is this what it’s like having friends? Having them pick and pick at your scabs and leaving you to clean up the blood and let them heal all over again?” Cyrian raised his eyebrows, scratching his knuckles. “She only died a little over a year ago, Maze, so why do you people keep asking me like it’s been decades, centuries, and like I still don’t remember the vanilla shampoo she used, how she would steal my socks; how she tried to cook for me and I told her I hated eggs, or our hour argument over whether butter or jam was better.”

Maze, despite herself, smiled softly. “Your eyes are sparkling.”

Cyrian nodded,swinging his legs over and lying down on the sofa. “So here you are asking me what it was like being in love with my wife, trying to find something that mirrors what you and Adrien had. And then you’re going to ask me how I feel about you to dissect my words. And I’m going to let you, because I…” Cyrian looked down.

“It was like she was a dam and I was a whole lot of water. It was like she was the light at the end of the tunnel, but she wasn’t in the tunnel with me. It was like she was shouting my name in a crowd and I was trying to get to her. She died and I fell apart.” Maze blinked, thinking back to when Cyrian had gone into the Blood Rite feral. That was so long ago. The Cyrian now and the Cyrian then were different, but even back then he wasn’t stupid enough to lose his wits in a Blood Rite. “I was plunged into darkness and I’d never been so blind in my life. And there was this rage to kill anyone, anyone who had the nerve to be happy while she was dead.”

Cyrian bit his thumbnail. “I think about it. I think about it a lot for someone who’s not supposed to have a heart. Whose sons I took, which person didn’t get to go home that day, which prick was dumb enough to cross me. Which girl or guy was waiting for hours and screamed their name, cursed mine when someone told them. I think about that if I step out there, how many bounties are on my head.”

Maze slowly walked forward, the space between them burning with an unchecked fire, an unchecked understanding, and Maze found herself ready to push through those flames. That’s what Cyrian was. Flames. Taking all the oxygen out of the room, choking you. But he was also the storm after the forest fire, taking away the smoke and the flames, and leaving back a ruin. He was also the sun, something no one saw, letting the trees grow back, stronger than ever. That’s why Cyrian was one of the best people in her life.

“So you’re asking me the difference between being with Tania and being with you.”

“Cyrian.” Maze whispered climbing onto the couch and sitting on his lap. She pressed her nose against his and Cyrian’s eyes fluttered closed, his breath hitching before shuttering. Maze could taste the alcohol on her breath and on his.

“Being with Tania was like being saved, being with you is like fighting for myself. Being with you is swimming through strong water after the dam broke, being with you is like having a hand to hold in the dark with no destination but you know you’ll be okay because you’re not alone, being with you is like being in a crowd and you’re right there with me. Being with you, Mazakynn, is like my first real breath.”

Cyrian cupped the back of her neck, pressing his forehead against hers and smiling. “Being with you is hard work, Mazakynn, but loving you is one of the easiest things I’ve ever done. Loving you, Maze Batalis, loving you feels so good. Being with you is swimming with you as the water tries to push us down, walking with you through a dark tunnel, never letting your hand go in a crowd.”

Maze jerked forward and Cyrian flipped them over before she could kiss him, pinning her down against the sofa. Maze stifled her laugh as Cyrian tried not to fall off, bracing his hand on the ground before repositioning them. “Being with you is not kissing you while we’re drunk and not kissing you tomorrow and not kissing you the next day. Because I know that you still love Adrien, because I know that no matter how ready you want to be, you aren’t. Being with you isn’t being with you at all, it’s being your friend.”

Cyrian leaned down, kissing her cheekbone and Maze closed her eyes. Tears ran down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around his neck, not wanting Cyrian to let go, not yet. She opened her eyes and Cyrian wiped her tears, knocking his nose against hers. “Get some sleep.”

“Why did you eat my eggs yesterday?” Maze sat up, holding the front of Cyrian’s shirt.

Cyrian grinned. “Loving you is eating your eggs and only your eggs.” Cyrian winked and Maze laughed, falling back against the plush sofa as Cyrian left, presumably to kick everyone out of his house.


	60. Chapter 60

Appearing in the Autumn Court, the heat immediately seeped into his skin as he trekked up to the Manor House, knocking on the large ornate oak doors. His heart was breaking over and over again in his chest, his face stiff from dried tears.

Finally, the doors opened, showing little Adara standing in front of him, her coppery hair laced with flowers, her hands clasped in front of her as she smiled up at him, though the smile did not reach her warm brown eyes. “Hello Nate.”

Nate forced a smile on his face, forced himself to not barge through the manor house to see if his cousin was there. “Where’s Ash, Adara. I need to see him.”

The smile on her face then disappeared completely. “Ash hasn’t been home since you had been here last. He’s been out hunting for the Suriel. You should find him in the northern woods.” As Nate went to leave, Adara’s small hand clasped Nate’s, squeezing it. “Bring both my brothers home to me, Nate.”

Nate pressed a kiss to the top of Adara’s head and squeezed her hand. “I promise.” The little girl gazed up at him, her face immensely sad as she nodded and went back inside, closing the doors behind her.

Inhaling sharply, Nate ran his tattooed hands through his hair, blinking rapidly as he looked up at the night sky. “Please tell me I did not just lie to that little girl,” he whispered to the Mother. “Let Baylor be okay and let Ash come back with us. Please, you’ve done enough to my family.”

After a few heartbeats of looking at the sky for some kind of sign, Nate swallowed thickly and wrapped darkness around himself, winnowing through the woods. The third time he winnowed, Nate scented the familiar sandalwood and lilac scent of his cousin.

He found Ash in dark red and gold fighting leathers, blades strapped to his chest and a bow in his hand. His cousin turned around to face him, his coppery hair tied back into a tight braid, his tanned face hard, his bright green eyes angry. “Your heartbeat is beating too fast, Nathaniel. Did you find him or is there some other reason for you to be in my woods?”

Nate ignored the bite in Ash’s tone and gathered the letters in his hand. “No. I didn’t find him but I found someone who knows where he is. And before you ask, no, he can’t tell me where Baylor is. Baylor made him make a bargain.”

A growl tore from Ash and he looked about ready to light something on fire. “Then why are you here?” He demanded. “I’m guessing you know something or else you wouldn’t be wasting my time.”

“Yes, you fucking prick,” Nate snapped. “I have something for you from Baylor himself.” Ash just looked at him expectantly. “It’s a letter. You’re going to want to brace yourself before you read it. If it’s anything like mine, you’ll want to rip out your own heart after reading it.”

Ash’s face filled with grief and fear, his eyes bright as he held out a trembling hand. “Give it to me. Give me my brother’s letter.” Ash’s voice had cracked on the word ‘brother’.

“Do you want me to read it for you?” Nate asked quietly.

“I can read it myself,” Ash snapped, color rising in his cheeks. “Don’t make me ask again, Nathaniel.”

—— 

Ash took the letter and summoned his magic, letting him see completely. He looked down at the elegant script of his brother’s handwriting in purple ink; it was so much nicer than his own. He inhaled sharply and flashed a look at his cousin.

Nate’s face was just as broken as his own, his dark eyes bright and filled with anguish. He immediately regretted snapping at him; he was hurting just as much as he.

Ash let out a shaky breath and opened the letter, looking down at the purple misspelled words and the dried dark spots that had no doubt been Bay’s tears; his chest tightened. He gathered his strength and read his brother’s words to him:

Dearest Brother-

If you’re reading this I’m assuming either Nate or Cassian got this to you. And if you are reading this, there’s a good chance I’m dead. I did not go off and get myself killed like you’re probably thinking. I had every intention of coming back. But if I am gone, I just need to let you know something:

Every day I am thankful for you finding me and helping me. I know without your help that rainy day I would have been long dead years ago. I am so thankful for you sharing your family with me and you all loving me, even when I felt unlovable.

That day Nesta died, was one of the worst days of my life and I know it was the same for you. I know you loved her as much as I did and I know you tried your hardest to save her and her baby. If I had not stopped you, you would have killed yourself bringing her back.

Please stop feeling so much guilt for it, Ash. I know she wouldn’t want you to feel in any way responsible for it. You may have such amazing healing abilities and have one of the biggest hearts I have ever bore witness to. But you are not the Mother. Stop trying to bear the weight of a goddess. You are nineteen years old and you shouldn’t have to feel that weight, so stop. It’ll kill you if you let it. It nearly killed you when you went all the way across Prythian to the male who you knew wanted you dead.

I was willing to give up my chance to complete the Blood Rite to make sure you lived. I didn’t so much as hesitate from going after you. You are my brother and I care about you more than any ranking or position . If the price for your life was that position, I would gladly give it all up for you.

But if I am gone, I won’t be able to be there from stopping you from making those decisions that almost get you killed. I asked Nate to help you where I no longer could. I know you two get along as well as about two cats but I know that you two love each other and would do anything for the other.

I am so sorry for leaving you. I promised to be there for you, to be there to protect and love you as a brother should. I made you a promise and I broke it. But I had to do this, just as you had to do everything in your power to heal your aunt. Where you are the healer, I am the blade and I had to cut down my father.

I am so angry Ash. I needed to do this. I think I finally understand what was going through your head when you dropped everything and went after Thesan. You couldn’t think straight, you were consumed with pain and anger and you wanted an out.

I didn’t want an out but I am consumed with pain and anger. I can’t live while he does. I can’t draw breath and be at peace when I know the male who ruined my mother’s life has a beating heart and he is tormenting Mother knows how many other females. If anyone understands why I had to do this, it would be you.

Thank you for sharing your family with me. Thank you for being my best friend, my brother. Thank you for holding me up when I could barely stand. Thank you for being that arrogant pain in the ass that I would die for.

I wish I could be there to see you find your mate and find the kind of happiness that I found with Nate, even if he isn’t my mate. I wish I could see you grow into your title and be the heir that your court needs and deserves. Your heart, Ash, is one of the biggest I have ever seen.

It was that heart that had you going all over that camp to find me when I flew off in the rain. You went after a complete stranger just to heal them. I was so terrified of you. I knew I wasn’t in any way a match for a boy who had personal training from the Commander and had the magic of the Autumn Court Heir in his veins. But even in that fear, in that terror, I felt like I could trust you.

Don’t you dare try to come after me. Stay home and safe and far away from the camps. Where I’m going is no place for you and I will come back from the dead and kick your ginger ass so don’t. You. Dare. I’m already gone so there’s no point. Just let me go.

I love you and I will love you forever.

I’m sorry.

Love always,

Bay

Ash stared at the piece of parchment. He turned it over and over, hoping there was more words from Bay. He found none and his knees buckled, dropping him to the ground. Around him his magic lashed out, igniting the trees around them in red and gold and blue flame.

Nate was instantly knelt in front of him in seconds, his hand on Ash’s shoulder. “That bastard,” Ash sobbed, his head dipped down. He covered his mouth, trying to smother the sobs breaking from his throat. “If he’s dead I’m going to fucking kill him. How fucking could he.”

That was the thing though, he understood. He had perfect, crystal clear understanding about what drove Bay to drop him and his family and the male he loved to go and after that male. He understood and he hated understanding this. It just made his fire rise further, his grief and pain and perfect understanding the perfect fuel for a forest fire.

“Ash,” Nate said, his voice raw and bleeding. He grabbed Ash’s face with trembling hands and brought him up to face him. “he’s still alive. Baylor is still alive. We can still get to him. You need to stop before you destroy your own court.”

Tears streamed down Ash’s face. “I can’t,” his voice broke. “I can’t stop it.”

Ash could hear Nate’s heart hammering in his chest. He could smell the salt in Nate’s tears and his own. He could feel his own heart breaking and shattering over and over again in his chest. He was in so much pain. It was all so much and for a split second, not even that, Ash wished he never met Bay so he would never know this kind of pain.

“Yes you can,” Nate said harshly, his nails biting into Ash’s skin. “You can because that is what you do. You make the impossible happen. So, stop it so we can get Baylor.”

He was right. Nate was right. Ash willed his heart to slow down, willed his magic to wink out. Around them the flames subsided finally after several attempts at stopping them. He could smell charred wood remaining.

Ash clutched at the ground, gasping. “How bad is it?”

He sensed Nate look around them, heard the heart shudder in Nate’s chest. “Pretty bad but they’ll be okay. The trees will be okay.”

Ash nodded and sunk into a sitting position, his hands in his face. He inhaled sharply, willing his nerves to even out. He would be useless in getting to Bay if he wasn’t calm. “He told me to not come after him. He wants me to leave his body wherever it is. He doesn’t care about a proper burial or being laid to rest so long as I’m safe. I fucking hate him.”

“No you don’t,” Nate said softly. He could sense Nate holding out a hand to him. Ash looked up at his cousin for a heartbeat before taking his hand. “Was there anything in your letter saying where Baylor is?”

“He’s at a camp. That was all it said.”

Nate growled in frustration and squeezed his hand, pulling Ash to his feet. “We need to go see Cassian.”

—–

A scream came from the cells down the hall. David sighed in irritation and leaned back, rubbing his temples. He glanced at the dried blood splatter on his dark desk, left from his unruly underling’s head.

A deep satisfaction filled him, at the fire he had seen in his son’s face. He had made the right choice when he found Baylor that day all those years ago, starving and weeping. Giving him to Cassian to raise and train. When he saw his son in the rain all those days ago, the speed, the accuracy, the ruthlessness he saw in the boy’s face, it made the wait well worth it. The boy had been far too weak and whiny for him to be able to train him properly. He supposed the boy’s uncle was able to make Baylor into the weapon he needed, that he wanted.

Standing, David smoothed down his tunic and straightened the ash blades at his side before making his way down the hall. The lights were lit in the room and David looked around, seeing Cain grabbing at his arm, slewing curses at a cage.

David went around him to see Baylor crouched, his eyes glowing, blood dripping from his mouth as he snarled at them all. David slowly raised his brows and looked at Cain. “I’m assuming he bit you?”

“That little bastard,” Cain growled, glaring daggers at his son. “His teeth went down to my bone. Why the hell do you need him alive, David. Why can’t you have someone who is more seasoned than an eighteen-year-old brat be your executioner? He’s feral, just put him out of all of our miseries.”

David ignored the male’s questions and went closer to the cage, peering down at his son. Baylor shot through the bars, narrowly missing his throat, though his fingertips touched him. How interesting. Feral, detached from emotion and reasoning and his instincts still saw his own father as a threat. “Did you give him the injection?”

“I fucking tried,” Cain snapped. “He’s too fast and too feral for me to be able to get near him without him trying to take my head off.”

David hummed disapproval. “He needs that injection, Cain. If he has a mate, they will soon be able to locate where he is without it and the withdrawal from it will make him nearly useless to use.” He straightened his cuffs, his eyes lifting back to his son, at the bruise marring the side of his throat and the scent entwined with it. “Bring in some others to help you. I don’t want him found.”

“He’s feral,” Cain said, turning to him, still clutching his gushing arm. “He’s of no use to you.”

“He is my blood,” David said, eyeing the boy in front of him. Baylor’s ash-gold hair was matted down with blood and dirt, his scarred face pulled back into a snarl as he glowered at him, circling the cage almost like a wild animal. “I will not kill him.” David pursed his lips. “But I will punish him. Bring me Alyxandrya.”

——

Cassian put his face in his hands, sighing deeply. His daughter’s kingdom, cleaved in half before she even had the chance to rule; his son, mother knew where, most likely dead. His children were crashing and burning before they have even reached maturity. He made such a wonderful parent.

He had wanted to help the females for centuries. They all did. But were bound by laws and regulations of the Illyrian royalty and the ancient laws of the Night Court. Rhys may be one of the most powerful beings of all time but even he was powerless against that. At least now the females had a safe haven in Hybern.

Azriel squeezed his shoulder, offering him his quiet strength. Cassian looked up at his brother, looking into his sad hazel-gold eyes. “We’ll find him, Cassian,” he murmured quietly, his shadows twisting around him. “Nate and Ash would burn down the world if it meant getting to him. I won’t rest until your son is home with you.”

Cassian nodded and squeezed his hand. He opened his mouth to speak but the door burst open and Cassian was on his feet, his hands on his weapons. But it was only Ash and Nate coming in. Both boys looked shaken to their cores. “Did you-”

Nate shook his head and held out two folded pieces of parchment to him with a trembling tattooed hand. “Read this. It’s from him.”

Cassian looked down at the two letters in his hands, reading both his and Aysel’s names in Bay’s beautiful script. He inhaled sharply and opened the one with his daughter’s name on it. He’d need to read it before he read his own, he had the distinct feeling his heart was about to be ripped out.

My Dearest Princess,

If you are reading this, it has most likely been years since I had originally written this. You might not remember me, seeing as how you were a year old when this was written. Or maybe you will, you were crazy clever as a baby and I assume now you are queen and as cunning as your mother. So maybe you do remember your brother, Bay.

I loved you since the second I laid my eyes on you. You were small and beautiful with bright blue-grey eyes and a shock of golden-brown hair. You will capture the hearts of everyone and you will be a queen worthy of her crown.

You knew loss before you were in the world for twenty-four hours when you lost not only your mother but your twin brother. And now, you lost another one. I am so sorry, Aysel. I made a promise to be there for you, to watch you grow and to watch you fall in love. I made you a promise and I broke it and I am so very sorry.

You used to wake me up, every night, instead of your father. I would be in bed with Nate and you would scream in my head and I wouldn’t hesitate from getting up to get you. I like to think that you were drawn to me because you knew I was different from everyone else, just like you. And that difference made us the same.

I wish I was there to see you learn to walk and run and fly. I wish I was there to see your first ball or when you met your first friend. I wish I was there to see you fall in love for the first time. I wish I was there to see you find your mate or have your own family. I wish I was there to see which you took after, your mother or your father. Or maybe a little like me.

I hope you are happy, Princess. I hope you find someone who loves every special thing about you and will fill you with starlight. I hope you want to touch the sky and see what the world has to give a lady such as yourself.

Nate left you a sketchbook, it’s in my room. You may or may not already have it already. It has pictures of you and your brother and our parents. And in the back, I drew you myself. I’m nowhere near as good as Nate, but they say you draw what you love, right? And I love you so I drew you.

I love you, Princess.

Your brother,

Bay

Cassian dipped his head and covered his mouth with his hand. His shoulders shook from the force of stopping himself from crying. Dammit Bay. He knew how close his children were. He knew Bay would go to war for that little girl.

“Is there anything in that that leads to Bay,” Azriel asked quietly. Nate and Ash looked at him expectantly.

Cassian shook his head and looked up at his brother. “No. He just wrote that he would miss her. Aysel has no idea where her brother is, Az. She’s been so irritable and wanting him and I can’t give her what she wants.”

Az squeezed his shoulder and Cassian looked at the second letter. The one to him. He swallowed thickly and braced himself for whatever it was in it.

Dearest Cassian-

If you are reading this, I am dead. I did not set out to hurt myself like you probably thought I did. I had every intention of coming back to you; I swear it. And if you are reading this, I am assuming that either Nate or Ash gave you this and you now know that I went after the male who sired me. And if you are reading this, I failed.

There has been too much left unsaid between us. I know we weren’t close, growing up. I know that I was closer with Nesta and that had to pain you, that I would rather go to her than you for things. I think that the reason I wouldn’t let myself get close to you was because you reminded me so much of my mother. You both had that wild spirit and you even kind of look alike now that I think about it. And I think that I kept my distance from you was because a part of me was afraid that something would happen to you and I would lose her all over again.

You see, You’re the King of Hybern and the Commander of the Night Court armies and war and death is a part of your life and there will always be a threat that you will die and be ripped from your family, from me. I couldn’t face that again. I wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Nesta was nothing like my mother. She was tempered steel and more closed off than either of you. Nesta didn’t love freely like you or my mother and I attached myself to that, to her and then I loved her as much as my own mother and I lost her anyways. Just as you did and I’m sorry for you now losing another son. I am so very sorry.

That day after Rhys’s twins were born, when I said you weren’t my father.. It was one of the cruelest things I had ever said to anyone and I am so sorry for saying that to you. I know you were just trying to help me. I know that you love me like a son and consider me to be your son.

I am sorry for disappointing you. I had taken off, put all the training and time you gave me at risk so I could go after Ash. I know you wanted me to succeed in the Blood Rite and I didn’t put any of that to thought as I threw it away to go after Ash. It was just dumb luck it all worked out.

I have been difficult and fighting you every step of the way. Not letting you in and arguing with you over everything. Between my illness and having to learn everything boys my age already knew, I made none of it easy for either you or Nesta. But mostly you.

It was you that took me in. It was you that trained me. It was you that shared your wife with me. I must seem like an ungrateful brat for just taking all of that without any thanks to either you or Nesta. But I am thankful. More thankful than you could know. Although maybe you do, it’s the curse of being a bastard born left with nothing and no one.

Don’t blame yourself. Please Cassian, do not blame yourself for me slipping out and going after my father. I knew you were busy. I relied on you not paying me any attention so I could leave. I don’t blame you for putting Aysel or the country first.

Aysel is your daughter, an infant, and the queen to a kingdom that you are ruling in her stead. Please make sure Aysel knows how much I love her. Make sure she grows up into the beautiful female that I know she will be. She will change the world. Of this I am certain.

I’m sorry that it took finding out who my father was for me to recognize you as what you really are. You are my father. It was you who were there for everything, even when I fought with you the entire time.

I am sorry for every headache and disappointment I gave you. I am sorry for it all and I need you to know that I do love you. I love you as you are, my father. I love Aysel as my sister. I love Nesta as my mother.

Your son,

Bay

Cassian stared and stared at the paper. His head was filled with such a deep silence as his heart broke over and over again. His face fell into his hands and he broke apart. He had never once, not once thought Bay was ungrateful.

Yes, they fought. They fought like cats and dogs almost constantly but that’s what kids did with their parents. He knew that void, that whole in your heart where your parents are supposed to be, where the ones who shared your blood was supposed to be. To be left alone without so much as a goodbye, to put distance between yourself and those you love to protect not only them but yourself. He knew what that was.

That boy had never disappointed him. He had driven him up the wall, frustrated to no end, but he never once disappointed him. He had honor and he loved and he cared almost more than anyone he had ever seen. He drove himself to succeed almost harder than any of the boys he had trained.

It had been fear that drove him, he knew it. Bay had been afraid of disappointing him and Nesta to the point of psychosis. He gave and gave and gave until there was nothing left of who he was.

Broken sobs tore through his throat, the weight of everything starting to crash around him and burn. He was vaguely aware of Azriel’s arms going around him, squeezing him, giving him something solid to bear the weight against.

Suddenly a sharp sound split through his skull and Cassian’s hands flew up to his ears but it did no use. It was loud, so very loud. Cassian looked between Az and the boys; their hands covered their ears as well, Ash’s face was contorted in agony. His nephew’s enhanced senses were taking a toll with Aysel’s cries. His nose started bleeding.

But why was she screaming in all of their heads? She usually reserved that for Bay or himself. But they all were hearing her pain. Who was she reaching out to? Was her pain so terrible it reached out to as many people her magic could get?

—–

Ringing filled Bay’s head, ringing he had heard before. His head whipped around, trying to discern where the sound was coming from but he was just met with steel bars and males coming closer to him. His mind tried grasping at who that ringing belonged to but he was too far gone to remember or even care.

Bay growled at the approaching males. He could smell their fear and their pain as they got closer to him. The male whom he had bit gave him a black glare. Bay’s eyes went to the heavy bandages at the male’s forearm and he grinned. He could still taste his blood.

Arms shot through the cage walls, grabbing at him, to hold him down. Bay struggled against them. He managed to get his teeth into one of their arms and he crunched down as hard as he could, his teeth splitting skin down to the bone.

The male screamed and Bay gave them all a bloody grin as they held him down. Bay twisted out of their grip as best he could but it was no use. Male after male went about holding him down, there had to be at least four there; two of which he bit.

A needle was plunged into Bay’s neck and he snarled at them all. He would not forget this. He would make them all pay for this by the time he was done breathing. The silvery liquid was emitted into Bay’s body and suddenly he felt heavy and seconds later, he was unconscious.

——

Cassian got to his feet and went down the hall to his daughter. He found Aysel sitting in her crib, her golden-brown hair a curly mess around her head. “Sweetheart you got to stop,” Cassian gritted out, picking her up.

He smoothed down her hair and rubbed her back. He tried rocking her, anything to stop the sound going off in his head. “Please Aysel,” Cassian groaned, “stop. Please stop.”

But Aysel didn’t. She cried and cried and cried. Finally a female appeared In the doorway nearly twenty minutes later, her chin length black hair swishing around as she narrowed her silver eyes on his daughter. Amren. “She can be heard for miles Cassian. Reports of psychic pain has been made from the corners of the Night Court.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Cassian said gruffly, smoothing down Aysel’s hair. “It’s Bay. She’s crying for him.”

“Give her to me,” Amren said. “I’ll use my own magic to cancel hers out. If she keeps going people will start to die.”

Cassian nodded, handing his daughter to the female. Amren took Aysel into her arms and she looked down at her and finally the ringing stopped. Ash collapsed on the floor with his head in his hands and pure relief on his face. “Thank the Mother.”

Nate knelt down in front of his cousin, looking Ash over. “You alright?”

Ash shook his head as wiped the blood from his nose and grimaced. He looked at his cousin and then at him and Azriel. “I think if it weren’t for my magic healing me I would be dead. Your daughter’s magic nearly killed me. Much longer and it would have.” Ash carefully got to his feet with the help of Nate. “We got to get Bay. Amren can’t hold Aysel off indefinitely.” Amren sniffed derisively.

“Speak for yourself,” Amren said loftly.

Ash just ignored her.

“I’m so sorry, Uncle Cassian,” Nate said raggedly, his arm around Ash. “I didn’t even bother to think about why Baylor was wearing armor when I was with him. He’s only in armor and those lenses when he’s about to do something messy. I was so focused what I wanted that I didn’t even stop to think why.”

“I want to know how Bay knew where to find his father,” Ash growled, his fingers sparking. “How would he find that information. He’s a bastard born.”

Nate’s head snapped up and he looked between them all with wide black eyes. “How does Baylor ever get information about anything? He looks it up. He went to the library.”

——–

Alyx refused to back down from David, to show how much she was afraid of him. Her hate for the male far outweighed the terror in her blood but she needed to be careful for her daughter. For that little girl who was hopefully hiding with her father, somewhere far, far from here.

She had whispered her goodbyes to her baby and to her husband. She had told him, told him that she had to help her mate’s baby. She had to help that little boy she raised until he was six. She remembered his always smiling face, his always climbing so high in the trees, scaring the starlight out of her and her mate. When he would climb up in their bed between them with a book, begging one of them to read to him. When they would catch him drawing on everything.

But then she saw him, twelve years later. His smile was nowhere to be seen, his freckled face hard as granite and he was armed to the teeth. That softness in that little boy was long gone. She knew then, she had to help him. She knew why he was there, especially when she watched him kill the male who had attacked her with no remorse or without so much as a blink. The little boy she watched grow up for six years was nowhere to be seen. That little boy had turned from a creator into a killer.

She knew she had to help him in any way she could, even if it cost her everything including her own life. Maybe this way… maybe she’ll see Montse again. Maybe the Mother will grant her her mate again.

David leaned forward, moving his hands from rubbing his temples, from the mysterious ringing that had just abruptly ended, to folding on his ebony desk, his hazel-green eyes looking her over, devoid of emotion. “Hello Alyxandrya.”

Before the males could stop her, she smacked him as fast and as hard across the face as she possibly could. The entire smack filled the air around them. She had wanted to do that to him for years. “You took everything from me,” she seethed. “Everything.”

David’s face didn’t so much as shift as he wiped a trace of blood from his lip. He looked at the blood on his fingers and raised his brows slowly. His eyes lifted to hers once again. “I took nothing from you,” he said, “I gave you something. A son. It was just unfortunate luck that your mate got ill. That human blood in her made her susceptible to illness. Even with the blood of the first Illyrian making her immortal, her mother’s blood made her weak. Even my son’s been affected by such diluted blood.”

Bay was sick of the mind, just like his mother; he had poor eyesight, just like his mother. “That diluted blood,” Alyx said roughly, “makes them strong. Humans have endured so much and they still thrive. They are resilient and strong. And so is Bay and his mother.”

“Maybe,” David allowed. “You sacrificed a lot by helping my son with that salve. But what I cannot forgive is you getting Breanya involved. My daughter has been proving to be difficult and your influence is making it hard to control her.”

“Why am I here, David.”

“My son has gone feral, Alyx. I made him a bargain. You and Breanya would live in exchange for his services. You see, with him feral, he cannot carry out my orders which makes our bargain null and void.”

She closed her eyes. Had Bay finally endured enough pain he shut it all off? Shut off the pain, shut off the memories and emotions and heartache? She opened her eyes and leveled a look at the male in front of her. “You destroyed that little boy. He used to be so happy. So happy. I wanted to raise him for my mate. But you, you had instilled so much fear in Montse. She gave up our baby to give him a chance at never knowing you.”

David’s face didn’t move as he leaned back against his chair, folding his hands over his stomach. “You know, I met him once before. I found him in the woods, digging into the frozen ground with his hands trying to bury his mother. He was crying and wailing and his fingers were bleeding. I helped him bury her and then spent the next week getting him to Cassian to be raised. Where were you when a six-year-old was burying his mother in the middle of winter?”

Alyx blinked rapidly. “She had sent me away. Wouldn’t let me stay with her during those last few weeks. She had spent those weeks getting Bay to that camp and away from you.” Had Bay somehow found a way back to Montse after she left him? She left that little boy alone to bury his mother. She hadn’t even known she was back.

“And yet he’s with me all the same,” David drawled. “He’s strong and ruthless and he will prove to be the biggest threat my enemies face. But you, Alyx, you won’t be here to see it. Say hello to Montse for me.”

“His uncle will come for him,” Alyx whispered as the guards behind her brought her to her knees, pressing a blade to her throat. “Cassian will come and you will pay dearly for what you have done to that little boy. And for what you have done to his sister.” David’s eyes flashed and he looked up at the males behind her and nodded once.

One minute she was in front of David and the next she was in front of Montse. Her mate smiled up at her, her hazel eyes wide and filled with joy, her brown hair hanging in curls around her. “Alyx.”

A sob tore through Alyx’s throat and she threw herself at Montse. “I missed you so much,” she cried. “So much.”

Montse cupped her face and kissed her hard. When she finally pulled back she took her hands into her own, her eyes glittering with pure unbridled happiness. “Tell me about my baby, Alyx. Tell me my Baylor is as beautiful as I remember.”

Tears slipped from Alyx’s eyes and Montse’s face broke apart, her hands covering her mouth as she shook her head violently. “No. No. Tell me David didn’t get my baby. Tell me he’s with Cassian. Tell me my brother raised my baby for me. Tell me Baylor is happy.”

She told her everything.

—— 

Nate watched Cassian place his palm on Baylor’s door and he instantly heard the locks unbolt and the door swing open. They all went inside Baylor’s room. Nate took in the room in perfect order. His eyes lingered on the bare wall before sliding to the light green duvet on the bed as a memory swallowed him whole.

Baylor pressed Nate to the wall, his hands tracing his chest. Nate looked up at the ceiling above him, his heart pounding in his chest. Mother save and damn him both. Baylor; this male, he was going to drive him insane. He came up closer to Nate, his lips pressing kisses to his skin.

His skin scorched where Baylor’s lips pressed, where his hands lingered. Baylor’s fingers cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down to him. Nate looked down at Baylor’s blown out eyes, his red cheeks despite his sturdy, solemn face.

Baylor’s eyes lowered to Nate’s neck and he moved to kiss his throat. Nate lifted Baylor up, the male’s legs going around his torso as his teeth sunk into Nate’s neck. He could hear a soft growl coming from Baylor as he pressed him to the wall.

Nate groaned as Baylor’s teeth sunk deeper into his throat, his nails biting into his back; it wasn’t gentle and he didn’t want him to be. He felt Baylor’s tongue run over the puncture wounds before he came back and looked at him. His bottom lip had traces of blood on it. Baylor’s mouth crushed against Nate’s; he could taste the blood.

Nate turned and carried him to Baylor’s bed, dropping him down onto the mattress. Baylor looked up at him and Nate climbed onto the mattress and hovered over him, his hair spilling over his shoulder. Nate tilted his head, his eyes going to Baylor’s throat.

Baylor just arched his neck, giving him access to what he wanted. Nate lowered his mouth to Baylor’s throat, pressing kisses to his skin. The heartbeat beneath his lips pounded steadily. Nate opened his mouth and sunk his teeth into Baylor’s flesh.

The male beneath him groaned, his nails biting into his back scraping deeper as Nate’s teeth sunk deeper. Blood filled Nate’s mouth, tasting intoxicatingly sweet and hot. Nate pressed his palm against Baylor’s chest as his teeth sunk deeper.

Baylor whimpered as Nate closed the wounds with his tongue. Nate looked at the already black bruise before lifting his eyes to Baylor’s. If it hurt it didn’t show on his face. Baylor just brought Nate’s lips to crush his own.

Baylor’s hand traced up Nate’s chest as his mouth opened beneath his own, his tongue sliding in Nate’s mouth. Nate’s knee spread Baylor’s legs apart, his hand tracing every dip of taut muscle in Baylor’s chest.

Baylor pulled apart from him and looked up at him with solemn blown out hazel-green eyes. “I love you.”

Nate lowered his mouth to Baylor’s chest, pressing kisses and bites to his skin. Baylor’s hands went to Nate’s hair as Nate kissed lower and lower, his hands going to unlace the leathers at Baylor’s abdomen.

“I love you too,” Nate murmured, pressing his lips right below Baylor’s navel.

He could hear a moan reverberate through Baylor’s chest as he slid the leathers off him. He eyed the erection Baylor had for him; he smiled. He loved having this effect on him; on the male he had been in love with for years. He wrapped his fingers around it, stroking him as his mouth pressed kisses and bites to Baylor.

Baylor’s breath hitched and Nate hovered over him once more, his hand stroking him as he sunk his teeth into Baylor’s shoulder. He loved having his teeth in this male, loved hearing him moan and want more, more, more.

He pressed a kiss right below his jaw, scenting the arousal emitting from him in waves. Baylor pulled at Nate’s hair as he lowered, lowered, lowered, swallowing him whole.

Nate pinned Baylor’s hip down, stopping him from arching his back. Baylor moaned loudly as Nate pumped and sucked. “Nate,” Baylor moaned, his head turning to the side, his chest red with bites and bruises. “I- I’m-”

Pure satisfaction instilled itself inside of Nate as Baylor came down his throat. Nate swallowed every last drop greedily before moving to hover over Baylor. He watched Baylor’s chest rise and fall as he caught his breath. Baylor looked up at him with flushed cheeks and parted lips. How beautiful.

Nate pressed a kiss to Baylor’s collarbone and whispered, “I love the way you taste.”

Baylor’s chest somehow inflamed more at that and he lifted Nate to his mouth. Nate straddled Baylor’s waist and put his hands on either side of his head. The male looked up at him with glittering wide eyes. “Likewise, Nathaniel.” He brought Nate’s lips down to crush his own.

When Nate pulled apart, he looked down at the bitemarks and hickeys seared into Baylor’s skin. His healing took the brunt of the worst of it. Nate smiled darkly at it, at his scent on Baylor, marking him as his own. He lifted his eyes to Baylor’s. “Sorry.”

Baylor snorted and flipped them over. “You are not.” No. No he wasn’t. Baylor grinned down at him, at the bruise on Nate’s own throat. Nate watched him run his tongue over one of his eyeteeth, his head tilted as he looked at the expansion of Nate’s throat hungrily. “My turn.”

“Nate,” a voice said, snapping him out of his memory. “Nathaniel.”

His head whipped around to face Ash. “What?”

His cousin just looked at him with a raised brow, no doubt knowing exactly what Nate was thinking about. He hated how he could read someone’s body, as if he could see inside their head and know their thoughts. It was almost like he was a demati. “Stop thinking with your dick and help us find what we need.”

“Fuck you,” Nate said, going over to Baylor’s desk, looking through the paper on the desk. He found notes, a lot of them. Most were hurried scribbles written with black ink.

Ash came up beside him, pulling out one of the drawers of the desk. He pulled out sketchbook after sketchbook and he slammed it closed and looked at him. “You know Bay once told me he uses his head to make all his decisions. That he can’t rely on emotions or his heart when he has a mental illness.”

Nate shook his head and went through the rest of his notes. “That’s ridiculous,” Nate said, flipping through the pages. “Baylor uses his heart more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Ash sighed, shaking his head. “I know.” His green eyes lifted to Nate’s as Nate squinted down at the last page. “Did you find something?” 

“Cassian.”

“What?” His uncle said from the closet.

“Do you know a David Odium?”

——-

Tears spilled down Bay’s face as he dug into the earth. His fingers hurt so much as he tried and tried and tried breaking the earth to bury his mommy. He looked over his shoulder at her limp body, at the dull hair and the unseeing hazel eyes.

He put his face in his hands and cried and cried and cried. He wasn’t strong enough. He was too small to be able to help his mommy. He crawled over to her and smoothed down her hair, hoping it would somehow bring her back. “I’m sorry,” Bay cried. “I can’t help you.”

He pressed a kiss to her temple and pulled his legs to his chest and buried his face in his arms. He felt snow land around them, chilling him down to his bones. He sneezed and rubbed at his nose. What was he going to do? Where was Alyx at? “Mommy where’s Alyx?”

But of course, she didn’t answer him. He was left alone after all. Just him and the snow around him. His limbs felt heavy, so heavy and he was so tired. He curled up beside her, wrapping his wings around them both, letting him have at least a little warmth. And he closed his eyes.

But then rough hands shook him awake and Bay’s eyes snapped open. He looked up, hoping it was Alyx but he was met with hazel-green emotionless eyes and ash-gold hair. Bay’s eyes went to the three scars down the male’s face before he looked up at him. “Wake up, Boy.”

Fear seized Bay and he scrambled backwards in the snow, away from the male. His eyes went to his mommy and he snapped his eyes at the stranger. “Go away,” Bay said, baring his teeth. “Leave us alone.”

The male looked at him, unimpressed. Bay sniffled and the male’s eyes narrowed, his hand going across Bay’s cheek. Bay scrambled backwards, his hand to his cheek. He looked up at the male with wide, wide eyes. He had never been hit before. “Why did you do that?” Bay’s voice wavered. “Why did you hit me?”

The male’s nostrils flared and he stood, straightening the cuffs of his shirt. “I will not have you be a crying mess. Tears are for the weak and you are not weak. Get up, Boy. I’m taking you to the commander.”

Bay shook his head violently. “No. I’m staying with my mommy. I won’t let you take me from her.”

The male towered over him, his face emotionless cruelty. “You don’t have a choice.”

—–

Bay’s eyes snapped open and a snarl tore through his throat. His heart was pounding in his chest though he didn’t know why. He called that female in the dream his mother though he didn’t know her, didn’t remember her. He didn’t care to. Bay just wiped the dream away and closed his eyes once more, letting sleep pull him back into oblivion.


	61. Chapter 61

Cassian’s head snapped up at the name David Odium. He did know that name. He was a high-ranking general. One who made him sick to his stomach just thinking about him. He had six siphons and a sadistic streak that he justified behind cold and brutal logic. Cassian only laid eyes on the male when there was a war: He hadn’t seen him in well over twenty years.

A lead weight sat in his stomach as he recalled what David looked like. Hazel green eyes and ash-gold hair. Just. Like. Bay. But where Bay’s features were exasperated and determined, David’s face was carved with cruelty and emotionlessness.

Not bothering to clean the closet, Cassian stormed out and went up to his nephews, dread filling and solidifying in the pit of his stomach. “Why do you ask?” Cassian asked in a low, low voice. Please be wrong, please be-

Nate’s dark brows furrowed, his shadows wreathing around him, growing darker and darker as he looked up at him with those black eyes as he handed him a piece of paper with a tattooed hand. Cassian just looked down at it, at the two single words ‘David Odium’ written in Bay’s handwriting. But this, this wasn’t Bay’s careful beautiful script, this was rushed and angry and belonging to someone filled with Hate. His stomach churned. “Uncle Cassian,” Nate asked carefully, “What is it? Is it him?”

Cassian felt Ash’s vibrant green eyes scanning him, reading him. “Why do you look like you’re about to be sick?” He asked it as if he already knew, as if he were preparing himself for the absolute worst. You couldn’t lie to Ash Archeron Vanserra. It was damn near impossible with that magic running in his veins.

Crumpling up the paper, Cassian threw it before palming his forehead, rubbing it. “I hope I’m wrong,” Cassian said raggedly. “Cauldron I hope I’m wrong.” He swallowed thickly, “I’m going to the library, just to be sure. You boys stay here.” Showing up in Gomorreh without just cause was a very dangerous game.

Before Cassian could take a step, Nate grabbed his arm, his nails digging into his golden-brown skin, drawing blood. “I don’t fucking think so,” Nate growled. “You’re out of your damned mind if you think I’m going to stay here willingly. You’ll have to tie me down before you can stop me from going after him.”

The air pulsed with invisible flame, the mirror on Bay’s wall instantly fogging over as Ash’s face turned to pure granite, his eyes lit with untold anger. “I will burn down your rutting castle if you so much as try to keep me from getting to my brother,” Ash swore coldly.

Cassian looked at his nephew’s nails in his arms, his eyes lifted to Nate’s black ones and iced over face. He looked at Ash’s glowing eyes and thinned pursed lips. “You know Bay wouldn’t want either of you anywhere near where he is. We get him, the first thing he is going to do is kick your asses. He will never forgive the either of you for letting the other in that camp.” That was if he was still alive. Please stay home. Please-

“I don’t give a shit what Bay wants,” Ash growled. “I’ve had him angry at me before, it’s not something I’m new to.” The air pulsed around them. “I’m coming. We both know there is no way of stopping me short of killing me. You keep me from him and you will regret it for the rest of your life and for an immortal, that is a very, very long time.”

A heavy sigh came from Cassian and Nate let go of him as he said, “Fine. Fine. We don’t have time to argue. We’re going to that damned library in Velaris to confirm what I think. If either of you get in my way I will not hesitate from keeping you here.” His eyes shifted to Nate. “I’d drop your ranking for insubordination but you couldn’t care less about it.”

Who was he kidding. He would have done the exact same damned thing as both of them. He would have thrown it all to the wind and broke every rule so long as he got to his brothers. Nate just shrugged and took both of their hands, winnowing them to Velaris and to the library.

—–

Bay cocked his head and traced the tattoo curling across Nate’s golden-brown chest. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Nate’s collarbone and nipped at the bone. A faint moan rumbled in Nate’s chest and Bay smiled and looked up at him. “Really, Nathaniel? We just had sex.”

Nate bit at his lip ring and grinned up at him, his thumb brushing Bay’s cheek. “I can’t help it, Baylor. You’re just too beautiful.” An involuntary surge of blush rose up in Bay’s face and Nate laughed and flipped them over, leaning over him. “Fuck I love when you do that,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to his warming cheek. “You can’t help it, can you?”

Bay smacked his chest. “Shut up, you asshole. It’s not funny.”

The corners of Nate’s eyes crinkled as he clasped Bay’s hand and laced their fingers, pinning it above Bay’s head. He leaned down and pressed his hand to Bay’s chest, his lips not even an inch from his own. “You love me.”

He snorted, running his fingers up Nate’s spine, feeling ridges as he went, before running Nate’s hair behind his ear with his free hand. “You can still be an asshole for me to be in love with you, you know that right?”

Instantly Bay’s eyes closed as Nate’s mouth moved to his neck. Gooseflesh rose at the sensation of teeth scraping his throat and a light moan escaped Bay’s lips as those teeth sunk in deep. “Nate,” he groaned, “You keep this up and I’m going to be permanently branded with bruises.”

“Good,” Nate murmured against his skin. He lifted his head and gazed down at him with black eyes, a smirk playing at his lips. “I want you marked.”

Bay rolled his eyes and brushed the blood from Nate’s bottom lip before pulling him deeper on top of him, his fingers tracing the raised ridges he made on Nate’s back not even thirty minutes before. He knew they were deep. “At least I’m not the only one,” he muttered,

Nate flicked his nose and Bay turned them over. He braced the headboard with his hands and lowered his face to Nate’s, his hair falling into his eyes. “I’m sure,” Nate said, tracing Bay’s bottom lip with his thumb, his black eyes flicking up to his own, “it looks like I got into a fistfight with a mountain lion.”

Bay lowered his hands to the sides of Nate’s head, ignoring the rising heat in his ears. “Does that bother you?”

Nate braced Bay’s hips with firm tattooed hands, pulling him deeper into his lap. “Nope,” he said, nuzzling into his neck. He shuddered involuntarily at the scrape of teeth against his tender skin and at the light caress against his wings. Nate chuckled darkly against his skin. “So sensitive,” he teased.

Ass. Bay pushed him backwards on the bed and leaned over him. “Using your shadows is cheating, Nathaniel.” Nate just grinned at him and Bay cradled his face with steady hands and leaned down to press a hard kiss to Nate’s lips. “One of these days you’re going to regret playing unfair.”

Nate pressed a kiss to his nose and flipped them over, his black hair cascading past his shoulders, falling onto Bay’s chest as he bit his lip, giving him smug grin. “Hmm, but not today.”

Bay weaved his hands through Nate’s long hair, hair that had grown out to the middle of his back in a solid ebony wave. “You’re lucky I love you, Nathaniel Verrum.” He was certain, one hundred viably certain that he would love Nate always. Always.

Nate’s smile softened, his black eyes glittering and swallowing him whole as he lowered down to press a soft kiss to his lips before pressing their foreheads together. “I love you too, Baylor. Forever.”

——-

Bay jerked awake, his heart pounding through every inch of him as the scent of apples and lavender filled his nose and mouth. That male in his dream, the male who marked him and who he had said he was in love with, he didn’t know him. He didn’t remember him. Bay couldn’t find a flicker of recognition in his body and yet his heart was in his throat and tears were pricking behind his eyes.

He pushed that thought away as a male knelt in front of his cage. A male with hazel-green emotionless eyes and long glossy ash-gold hair that went down to his shoulders. The word ‘threat’ filled his head and he shot forward to get his hand around the male’s throat. He didn’t know him but his instincts were screaming to kill him. He narrowly missed and a smile curled on the male’s scarred face. Bay pulled back his lips and snarled.

——-

David studied his son’s face. He studied the ash-gold hair matted down with blood and sweat and dirt, he studied the blown-out hazel-green eyes. He looked like Dahmer, like him. Maybe that was why he couldn’t just make way and kill him. He already lost a son and losing another one was unacceptable: he needed an heir. Besides, that bloodline, his own and the blood of the first Illyrian, it was far too valuable to destroy over a temper tantrum.

Straightening, David pulled up a chair and sat in it, folding his arms over his chest. “You think me a monster,” David murmured to his son. “A male with no soul, a male who would attack a defenseless female.” 

He lightly grazed the scars on his cheek with the pad of his thumb, unsure why he was saying any of this to a feral disobedient, petulant child. “Montse Perditus was anything but defenseless or some pure female. She was unruly and powerful and what I needed to ensure I had a weapon for the upcoming battle. The day will come, Son, when the worlds will converge and you will be there on the front lines. Whether it is decades or centuries from now, you will be there and you will fight and you will protect our realm.”

Baylor just growled at him, circling his cage, wanting out to rip his throat out. David merely sighed and stood, straightening the cuffs of his tunic and the blades at his side. “You call me a monster,” he said. “I’ll be your monster. But I’ll be the monster who saves us all.”

——-

Blake held back Aurora’s hair and rubbed her back as she heaved into the toilet again and again. His mate rested her forehead on the toilet seat, breathing in deeply, gathering air into her lungs. He held back his grin the best he could and lightly pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Regretting drinking all that alcohol now?”

Why the hell did Cyrian let her drink? Why the fuck would he let a female who had spent the last four months in a magical coma drink alcohol. He had tried to not be some territorial fae bastard but it had been so hard when his shadows betrayed her sadness and her fear beneath that beautiful smile.

A groan loosed from Aurora’s lips as she reached to flush the toilet and look at him with bleary narrowed eyes. “Shut it, Sunshine.”

He cocked his head as he helped her stand to brush her teeth. “What was that? I couldn’t make out what you said with all that slurring.” The roll of her eyes was almost audible. Blake sighed a chuckle. “Oh Aurora, let’s get you in bed before you decide to start ripping my clothes off.” She snorted.

Sliding his arm beneath her knees and back, Blake lifted his mate in his arms to take back to his room. He tried ignoring the sinking weight in his chest at how light she still was. Aurora settled into his arms and traced his tattooed chest with a finger as he pushed the door open to his adjoined bedroom with his foot, and with a few strides, he laid her down on the mattress.

She instantly curled up onto her side, her ebony hair fanning around her. “I don’t want to sleep,” she murmured, bringing one of his pillows to her chest. He sat down beside her, running his fingers through her hair as she looked up at him, her dark eyes filled with fear. “What if I don’t wake up?” 

Hate and cold rage towards Thesan sat in his chest, at the thought of his mate being terrified to close her eyes, at the lost four months where she was trapped in her nightmares. He shoved that thought down so far and laid down beside her, meeting her gaze. “You’ll wake up, Sweetheart. I swear it.”

Alcohol had nothing to do with the tear’s filling Aurora’s eyes to the rim as she buried her face into his chest, her stick thin brown arms folded between them as she started crying. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to help his mate through this. “I don’t want to go to sleep, Blake.”

Tears pricked behind his eyes and he pressed his lips to the top of her head and rubbed her back. He started humming. He hummed a song his mothers’ sung to him and his brothers when they were little to get them to sleep. It was the only thing he could think to do.

After a few minutes of humming and rubbing her arms and back, Aurora finally fell asleep on him, granted she was nearly on top of him as she slept but it was a win. He’d consider it a win. Blake carefully shifted into a more comfortable position and wrapped his wings around them and closed his eyes.

——

Leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms and legs, Ash delved into his magic, watching Bay wander around his new bedroom. The boy was eight and yet he couldn’t fly and judging by the number of bruises on his body, he couldn’t fight either. No wonder the boy had just ran when he saw him. “Pretty nice, huh?”

Bay’s entire body flinched as he whirled around to face him with wide, wide eyes, his scent flaring with panic and surprise. Ash held up his hands in surrender. “It’s just me. Relax.”

The boy studied him with weary eyes that were far too old to belong to someone their age. Bay’s heart slowed back to its normal rhythm and he ran his hand through his newly cut ash-gold hair. “Sorry. I just-” he visibly swallowed. “Why would they take me in,” he whispered. “I’m no one. Nothing. A bastard.”

He pushed off the doorframe and stalked up to him, grabbing his arm. “You’re not nothing,” Ash snarled softly. “I never want to hear that come from my best friend’s mouth again.”

Surprise flooded through him as Bay arched a brow and yanked his thin arm out of his grasp. “Your best friend? You don’t know me. Just because you’re high fae and the heir to the Autumn Court doesn’t mean you can lord over me. I may be a ‘lesser’ fae but I’m not your pet.”

Ash blinked and blinked again and then he grinned widely. “Oh good. You have a spine. I’m not interested in having a ‘pet’, I want a friend, a best friend. Nate’s drawing all the time and it’s boring.” Bay blinked and Ash scratched his face, “How did you know who I was anyways?”

Bay shook his head, a faint, faint smile playing at his lips. “How do you think I managed to stay alive the last two years? I used my head. That red hair, those pointed ears, and healing magic, not to mention you were staying with the Commander at the camp. I pegged who you were the second I saw you. Why do you think I ran?”

He couldn’t help but smirk. “Because I could beat you in a fight.”

“For now,” Bay corrected, his eyes lighting with quiet steel. “You can beat me in a fight for now.”

Ash folded his arms over his chest and looked down at him. “I’ve been learning to fight since I could walk. I got years on you, midget.”

Blush rose up in the boy’s ears and cheeks and he folded his own arms, mirroring him. “Yeah? Well I’m a quick learner, giant. This time next year I’ll be better than you. Promise.”

————–

Ash blinked and pushed that memory away as they walked into the library in Velaris. He remembered Bay those first initial weeks in Hybern. His brother had been petrified the entire time but that determination, that fire he saw in Bay. That refusal to bend to someone else despite that fear, that was what made Ash love him.

But now, that love was filled with so much worry it choked the air out of him. If Bay was dead, if his brother was not alive he would make it his mission to find him in the afterlife and make his unlife a living hell.

Ahead of him, Ash sensed Cassian go up to the priestesses and demand the books in which Bay had borrowed at least nine days before. He could smell the fear charged in his uncle’s scent, at being in this blasted library with that thing beneath them. Bryaxis. It scared the ever-loving fuck out of him but of course Bay hadn’t been afraid of it, merely curious.

Bay who was petrified of failing him and his family, Bay who was petrified of disappointing everyone and yet he wasn’t afraid of that shadow-thing that could kill him without so much as a blink. His brother was fucking weird.

The sounds of book pages flipping filled his ears and Cassian’s heart shuddered in his chest. Ash’s throat instantly tightened at the amount of dread and anger and fear arose in Cassian’s scent. “Damn it,” Cassian growled. He heard the book snaps shut and nearly fly across the room. “Fuck.”

Next to him, he sensed Nate tense, his heart picking up faster and faster, his blood pressure spiking. “It’s bad isn’t it.”

A low growl tore through Cassian’s throat. “Yeah Kid, it is. His father’s a real piece of fucking work.”

Ash closed his eyes and counted to ten, willing his fire to stay unignited and his nerves to even out before he ended up destroying the damned library. Bay would kill him, that was if he didn’t kill him for disrespecting his wishes. And if Cassian- Cassian- was anxious of Bay’s father then they were all in some serious, serious fucking trouble. 

——-

Zev couldn’t help but watch Tarus sleeping so soundly, at their brown face and sculpted back smoothed by sleep. They had begun to share a bed the night of the kiss, though they hadn’t touched since. Except for the night before, when Tarus lightly touched the ligature marks left by Nate.

His heart had picked up and raced in his chest at the warrior touching him. A part of him, a deep part of him felt as if he were betraying Chelia. He had loved her with every inch of his soul and yet his feelings for the warrior are intense and nothing like how he felt for her. It wasn’t that he loved Tarus more it was just- he didn’t know.

A knock sounded at his door, pulling him from his spiraling and he got up to answer it. He took an involuntary step back at the harsh, granite faces of the Nate, the Commander and the Autumn Court Heir. “You figured it out,” Zev said. It wasn’t a question. “You know who he is.”

Nate nodded and Zev led the three of them past the bedroom Tarus was sleeping in to the small kitchen. They sat at the table. Cassian looked him over, his hazel gold eyes cool and intense. “You killed Bay’s brother, the heir to the camp. That’s what the reports say.”

“I did,” Zev said, splaying his hands on the table as the pain he felt for finding her dead filled his body. “He and two other warriors raped and killed the female I was in love with. So I killed them. Slowly. In all accounts, I should be dead by now but I live thanks to the High Lord’s mercy.”

Hate and rage filled the three male’s faces. Nate more than the other two. Zev barely managed to keep his eyes from going to the scar at Nate’s throat, the scar covered by tattoos. He had seen similar scars on females in his old camp, in Chelia’s workspace. On Chelia when he found her.

Nate met his eyes, his expression filled with ghosts and warning, warning to not say a word about it. So he didn’t.

Ash though, Ash looked at Nate, his eyes going to that scar. His expression tightened, his face was darker than the Spymaster’s shadows. The air pulsed with invisible flame and Nate closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. Zev waited for the heir to say something, but he didn’t. Ash just curled his fingers into fists.

“I’m sorry for the loss of your female,” Cassian said quietly. Zev nodded wordlessly as his throat tightened. “I need you to tell me everything you can about that camp. We can’t just show up without a plan. David Odium is a force to contend with and I won’t risk Aysel growing up without a father.”

“When I lived there,” Zev said raggedly. “there were rumors and disappearances of the bastard borns. There was talk about the Camp Lord experimenting on them. That he was creating a drug meant to manipulate bonds so the victim couldn’t call out for help or for their mate to even feel their pain. But it wasn’t proven. If it was there would have been a revolt.”

Nate’s golden face turned the color of parchment, his black eyes flared with untold fury and terror. “What else,” he got out in a strangled breath. “What else?”

“He has a sect of warriors under his command. The strongest of the males in his camp. Their hearts are twisted and black and they’re truly evil. As long as they follow David’s orders, he lets them get away with anything. Dahmer was one of them.”

Tears threatened to slip down his face as he traced the scars wrapped around his forearm. “In his house, at the bottom of his stairs, there is a room. Sound proof walls and a chair in the middle of the space, bolted to a stone floor. If Bay is anywhere in that camp, he’s there. I know it. David will want to convince Bay to work for him and that place is the one place in the camp where screams can’t be heard.”

—-

Adrien walked through Velaris, calming the building dread in his body as he approached Cyrian’s apartment. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling the damp strands out of his eyes. He had spent the whole day at the camps, keeping himself distracted though fighting and then took a cold shower to get the sunburn on his shoulders and arms and chest to cool.

He rounded the corner and went down the hall before stopping in front of the apartment. His shadows told him they were awake. And sober.

Steeling his spine, Adrien loosed a breath and knocked on the door. Two heartbeats later, Cyrian answered the door, his dark eyes looking him over, completely unimpressed. He refrained from rolling his eyes and leveled a look with the male. “I want to talk to Maze and Alvarez.”

“Why the fuck would I give you what you want?”

“Because it’s the only way to get rid of me.”

Cyrian arched a brow and Adrien just folded his arms over his chest and planted himself in place. Cyrian’s lips twitched as he leaned against the doorframe with crossed arms. “I could kill you,” he said lightly. “That’d get you to leave.”

“You could, but you won’t,” Adrien retorted calmly. “You wouldn’t do that to Maze, now would you?”

Cyrian’s eyes narrowed and as he opened his mouth, Maze appeared beside the male and looked Adrien over, her face unreadable, though his shadows betrayed her unease. His heart shuddered in his chest and Adrien schooled his features into neutrality. “I need to talk to you Mazakynn.”

She looked at him for a heartbeat and then another before nodding lightly and taking his hand. He refrained from squeezing it and pulled her into the hallway and winnowing them to the alleyway. She parted from him the second they touched the ground. “What do you want, Adrien.”

He leaned back against the bricked-out wall and shoved his hands in his pockets, assessing her beautiful face and amber eyes with a carefully blank face. He licked his lips and let out a slow breath, calming his nerves. “I want to talk to you about last night.” 

She opened her mouth and he held up a hand, cutting off her words. “You said I was some kind of knight and that’s not true. I am selfish, I am arrogant and I have a temper. I am far from the picture you painted of me. I am not how you see me and while you think I broke up you out of some selfless deed, I didn’t. I broke up with you for myself as much as I did it for you.”

Maze’s eyes closed and she sighed deeply. “Adrien-”

“No,” he said coldly. “Let me finish.” Her mouth snapped closed and she folded her arms over her chest, wincing at his tone. “You are a liar.” Her lips tightened and he held up a hand. “I am not saying that’s a bad thing. I know you do it because you need to defend yourself and that’s how you do it. I would never force the truth from you and you know it.” She visibly swallowed.

“But I am a shadowsinger,” he said clearly, “with truth magic in my veins. And as much as I don’t wish for it, every single lie you tell me, I feel it. I feel my magic choking the air from my lungs and I turn into someone I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be angry,” He said raggedly. “I’m so tired of always being angry.”

His mate’s gaze shuddered and her shame flickered in his shadows. He pushed off the wall and came up to her. “It’s a poison,” he said softly. “And while I love you, while I would die for you, I won’t be with you. I deserve to be with someone who is in love with me and that is not you.” Tears slipped down both of their faces.

“You can lie all you want to yourself,” he said quietly, “and everyone around you about what you feel and who you feel for but I will know. I will always know. I will not hold onto something that I know in my heart will turn my love into resentment. We both deserve better than that.” He loosed a shaky breath. “And,” he whispered, “I’m not kicking you out of my life. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. You’re my mate and my best friend.” He’d sooner die. “You will always be a part of my family, Mazakynn.”

She took a shuddering breath and palmed her eyes. “Adrien, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you I just- I was hurting and I was drunk and I took all of my frustrations out on you.”

Adrien tilted his head and looked down at her, refraining from wiping the tears from her face. That wasn’t his job, not anymore. “I know. And you may think that I’m pushing you towards Cyrian because he understands you but I’m not. I know you’re in love with him and if you are or aren’t with him, that isn’t any of my business. Not anymore.” Maze looked away and he swallowed thickly. “I know you think that I was saving you. We were saving each other and I will always help you if you need help to stand or to fight. You know I will.”

“I do,” she whispered, her amber eyes bright with tears as she looked back up at him. “Because that’s who you are. You say you’re selfish, Adrien, but.. selfish people don’t do what you do. They just don’t.”

Despite himself, despite everything, Adrien smiled down at her. “Mazaynn Batalis. Always seeing the best in everyone.”

She smiled shakily at him and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him one last time. He hesitated for half a second before hugging her back with his eyes closed. “let’s get you back,” he said, pressing his lips to the top of her curly head. “I need to talk to Alvarez before I head home.”

“Okay,” She said, muffled against his chest.

——–  
Getting up, Tarus stretched their arms high above them but froze when they heard voices in the house. They pulled on a shirt and went to the kitchen to see who was in Zev’s house. Tarus stopped short when he saw the three males with Zevakyn and their heart lodged in their throat at seeing him snap armor in place. “What’s going on?” Tarus said slowly, his eyes trailing across the hardened expressions of each male.

Zev looked at him, his brutally kind eyes filled with steel. “I’m going to help Bay.”

A snarl tore from their throat before they could stop it. “No. You don’t owe him anything. He shouldn’t have asked you for help to begin with. It was selfish and wrong to ask you.” Nate and Ash’s eyes narrowed.

Zev shook his head, his dark brown hair falling into his eyes. “I know I don’t owe him anything. I paid my life debt. But he’s my friend and I won’t lose another friend to that camp. I refuse. If that means drawing blood, then so be it. Chelia would understand.”

The unrelenting brightness in Zev’s eyes took their breath away. Tarus walked up to Zev and brought his face down to theirs in a hard kiss. They felt Zev’s scarred arm go around their waist and pull them closer as he pushed deeper into the kiss.

Tarus pulled back, filling their lungs with air as they clasped his face. “Come back, Zevakyn. You come back to me, understand?” They ignored the exchanged looks from Nate and Ash. “You come back.”

Zev’s eyes filled with heat and an intensity that made Tarus’s blood sing. “I swear it,” he said roughly, brushing their cheek with a calloused thumb. “I’ll come back to you.”

Tarus nodded and Nate winnowed away with the three of them, leaving Tarus alone in Zev’s kitchen.

——–

Adrien winnowed them back to Cyrian’s apartment. He ignored the pointed glare from Cyrian and rested his eyes on Alvarez. “I want to talk to you.”

Alvarez pushed a braid behind her shoulder and stood from the couch, coming up to him silently. She studied his face and held out her hand. He took it and led them to the hallway to where he winnowed them to the alleyway.

She let go the second they touched the ground and folded her brown arms. “What do you want, Shadowsinger?”

He leaned against the bricked-out wall and folded his arms over his chest, giving her a cool look. “What, can’t call me by my name now that you’re sober? You need the booze in order to stomach treating me like a person?”

Her nostrils flared and she narrowed her eyes. “What did you want to talk to me about, Adrien?”

He smirked. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She just glared and glared at him and Adrien sighed. “I wanted to talk to you about what you told me last night.” Her face blanched. “That hate and anger you’re holding onto is going to either kill you or get you killed.”

Alvarez’s eyes narrowed and Adrien held up a hand, cutting off her argument before it even began. “I’m not saying you need to be best friends with Cassian or even like him, but you need to talk to him. About your father. I guarantee you, he remembers him. He knows him. He is not just another body.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “But I’m not going to force you to do the smart thing. I’ll let you decide if you can or can’t live with that anger. All I know is that I’m done with it. I thought I’d extend the courtesy.”

“You really should mind your own business,” she said softly, her voice the edge of a blade.

Adrien just shrugged fluidly. “I will not. Not where Maze is concerned. If she’s living with a girl who has an axe to grind with someone important to her, I want to know. I may not be with her anymore but that doesn’t mean that I won’t do everything in my power to protect her.”

“A real knight in shining armor,” she mocked, though his shadows picked up the insincerity of her words.

Adrien snorted. “That I am not.” He shoved off the wall and came up to her, 

Alvarez took his hand and he winnowed them back to the apartment complex. He walked with her back to the apartment with his hands in his pockets. As they rounded the corner to the apartment, they walked the few feet to the door. “And,” Adrien began, looking down at Alvarez’s dark eyes.. “For the record,” he said, a faint smile playing at his lips. “I don’t have a thing for ‘damaged’ girls. I have a thing for strong girls who don’t take anyone’s shit.”

Her brows shot up and she said, “Good to know.”

And with that, Alvarez turned her back to him and waltzed back into her apartment without so much as a look back at him. He shook his head and turned around, walking back into the city of Velaris.

—— 

She knew she was on top of Blake’s bare chest before even opening her eyes, his corded arm around her waist firmly. Aurora felt safe, perfectly safe in his arms. She settled deeper into him, feeling the pounding of his heart against her cheek and the scent of sage and burning wood flooding through her nose.

Aurora opened her eyes and she looked up at her mate, at his dark gold eyelashes framing his tawny cheeks and the faint smile resting on his curling lips. “You’re staring, Sweetheart,” he muttered.

She snorted and carefully sat up, wincing at the pounding in her head. Blake was instantly sitting next to her, his golden hair loose around his face and shoulders as his dark eyes looked her over the same way one would look over battle plans. “How are you feeling?”

“I woke up,” she whispered, looking up at him.

There was a burning fire in his dark brown eyes, a fire that would light the world ablaze for her. The unrelenting fervor in his gaze made her heart shudder in her chest as Blake gingerly took her face into his calloused hands, feathering his thumbs across his cheeks. “I swore to you you would,” he said, his voice still rough from sleep. “I keep my promises.”

Despite the pounding in her head, Aurora smiled shakily up at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. He lifted her chin with his forefinger and pressed a light kiss to her lips. “Let’s get you some food,” he murmured. “I’m sure you have an ugly hangover.”

—– 

Zev’s heart lodged into his throat as he stepped foot into his home. He immediately tried smothering the memories of blood and ash and pain from his heart and mind but it just struck him back with a force that nearly propelled him off his feet.

People in the camp gave them all a wide berth. He hated the way they looked at him, as if they couldn’t decide if he were a monster or a savior for killing Dahmer.

Resting his hand on the hilt of his sword as he walked through the shadows, Zev forced his heart back down into his chest into even beats as he led the three males to the camp lord’s house.

He could feel sweat trickle down his spine and down his temple. He wasn’t sure if it were from being home after so long being away or if it were truly from the afternoon sun. Either way, Zev pushed the thought away.

Next to him, all three males’ faces were filled with hate and black rage as their eyes scanned the camp around them. He’d grown accustomed to the conditions growing up, grown accustomed to stealing scraps, dodging warriors when he got caught. The penalty for stealing was a severed hand.

He went over the plan in his head, at his job to make sure no one went inside after them. He prevented those of David’s rabble that escaped the Spy Master while they went after Bay. His sword’s weight grew heavier at his side, as if it were growing anticipated at the chance of bloodshed. He may not want to draw blood but he couldn’t deny that he was excellent at it. After all, it had cost him everything.

—–

Cassian retained his composure the best he could as he walked through the house, listening to his nephews go through Nate’s shadows towards where Zev said Bay would be. His heart pounded in his chest, his siphons glowing as his fury grew.

“Come in,” said a cold voice.

Cassian steeled his spine and entered the office. His heart stopped clean in his chest as David lifted his eyes to his own. His face. He had Bay’s face. His eyes went to the three diagonal scars stretched out over the male’s cheek and he understood. He understood Bay’s fear. “Let’s have a chat, David,” Cassian said, pulling a blade from of its sheath.

David looked him over, completely unimpressed and unafraid and unsurprised. He stood from his desk, the ash blades at his side glinting as he braced his hands on the desk. “Hello, Cassian. I’m assuming this has to do with my son? I’ve been anticipating this. You don’t really think I’d leave my greatest asset unguarded, do you?”


	62. Chapter 62

Nate’s fingers were tight around Ash’s wrist as they slunk through his shadows. If it were anyone else, he’d be leaving bruises on their skin, but Ash, his impenetrable cousin, just let him hold tight, keeping him from destroying everything to get to his mate.

His heart pounded through his ears, pure undiluted fear ran through his veins for his mate. With what Zev told him about Baylor’s father, Nate was going to take apart David Odium slowly. That was if he were still alive with the sound of his and Cassian’s fighting going on above him.

His shadows were nothing compared to Adrien’s or their father’s, but they were better than Blake’s at least and he felt so much pain, so so much pain in them from Mother knew how many people. This place, this horrible place was Hell.

He wordlessly took out a blade from its sheath and looked at Ash. His cousin’s eyes were lit from within, glowing, the use of his magic making him see clearly. Ash looked at him, his tanned face tight and cold and he brought his finger to his lips and nodded once.

Ahead of them, a door made of ash stood at the end of a hallway with three males posted outside of it. There were knots and engravings on the door, from some mythos that he was certain Baylor knew about.

And those guards, they were taller than even Ash, built like hammering rams with faces carved of cruel stone: Emotionless and forbidding. And cold.

His cousin turned his eyes to the males and they stepped out of the shadows. The males were instantly on alert and were coming at them. Their swords clashed and he and Ash fought and fought and fought against them. For once in his life, he wished he put in as much effort into training as Baylor and his brothers did.

Earning himself a slice to his chest, Nate finally drove his sword into the male’s stomach. The male dropped and he helped Ash with the other two. Nate killed the second male while Ash drove his sword threw the third.

He knelt, looking up at his cousin as he went through each of the male’s clothes. “You alright.”

Ash knelt next to him, his bright green eyes looking him over as he reached over and pressed a blood crested hand to his chest and poured his healing into the slash. “I’m fine,” he said raggedly, standing so Nate wouldn’t see the bruises he knew were forming. “I can hear at least three sets of heartbeats through that door,” Ash said, blue and gold flames dancing at his fingertips. “And snarling.”

Nate’s heart picked up in his chest as he went through the rest of the male’s clothes before finding a set of cast iron keys. Wrong, wrong, wrong screamed in his veins as he approached the door. He flashed a look at Ash as he unlocked it.

His cousin’s face was filled with steel, ever the fire-wielding heir of the Autumn Court. He could see the fury resting in his eyes, see the fire sparking in his fingers. Nate had never seen Ash so utterly pissed.

“Well, well,” said a thunderous voice. “Look who showed back up at my camp. I would have thought you’d at least be smart enough to not show your face here again.”

Zev’s skin crawled as he forced a smile on his face, meeting the male’s dark sapphire eyes and dark gold hair. “Hello again, Jason. Why don’t we make this easy and you walk away. We don’t need to fight.”

Jason’s eyes darkened as he stepped forward, palming a blade, the metal gleaming in the afternoon sun. “You killed my best friend,” he said roughly, his eyes filled with anguish. “My brother.”

Sighing painfully through his nose, Zev rested a hand on the blade at his side as he rose his chin lightly. “Walk away, Jason,” he said softly. “I don’t have any qualms with you. Eric didn’t deserve you. He never did.”

Jason’s throat bobbed. “He didn’t attack her. He would never attack Chelia. She was our friend.”

“But he did,” Zev said quietly but not weakly. “He feared Dahmer more than he loved her. His scent, his fingerprints, they were on her.” Jason blinked and crack appeared in his mask and Zev used it as a foothold. “You knew Dahmer. He’ll bend and twist everyone into making them just as miserable and twisted as he is. Eric was weak and couldn’t tell him no. Don’t make his mistake, Jason. Walk away.”

The male looked at him for a long time. Zev kept his eyes on him, his peripheral vision alert for threats; he didn’t dare look away. He waited for it, for Jason to pull his sword out of its sheath and try to strike his throat.

Instead, the mask cracked and fell away, leaving bone deep agony on the male’s face. “Why’d you come back,” Jason said raggedly, his broad hands dropping to his sides. “Why are you here? You have nothing left in this hellhole.”

“My friend,” Zev said, nearly choking on the relief jumping into his throat. “I’m here to help my friend. And if we’re both lucky, it’ll be him that saves this place.” Or burns it to the ground. He’d be fine with either.

Something ignited in Jason’s gaze. “That male. The one who came to kill David. He’s your friend.” When Zev nodded Jason’s eyes glittered. “He saved a kid. He gave himself up to save a little kid. He could have let them take that boy’s hand and kept the element of surprise. No one in this camp would have done that. No one would have dared. David’s word is law and everyone is too afraid to challenge it.”

Zev sighed internally. He knew this would happen. He knew Bay would try to get himself killed trying to help someone. Between his psychosis to protect everyone and his self-destructive desire, it left little to speculation as to what his actions would be.

Jason looked at him for a moment longer, his dark blue eyes filled with agony. Minutes- an eternity- past, the sun drawing sweat down his brow and between his shoulder blades.

Zev didn’t dare to pull his gaze from his, he didn’t dare to drop his guard, his promise to Tarus ringing loud and clear in his ears, the liquid gold of the warrior’s eyes filling his mind. Walk away, Jason.

The warrior shook his head, his dark gold hair falling into his eyes. “I hope you’re right, Zevakyn,” Jason said finally, turning around and walking into the camp.

His shoulders loosed and he nearly sighed relief. Jason was one of the good ones. He was kind and caring, but loyal to a default. His loyalty to Eric clouded his judgment and he couldn’t see past the male he wanted him to be.

Ash followed Nate down into the darkness of the room, of the dungeon. That was the only word Ash could think of to associate with this place, this hellish place. The stone floors, the manacles and devices on the walls. His fire was roaring in his veins, his magic recoiled at the ash around them.

The space was dimly lit with candles. No windows adorned the walls and no fresh air filled the room. It was stagnant, dead air that smelled like old blood and dirt and worse. It made his stomach twist, his senses making everything so much more potent.

The males all looked at him and Nate and he didn’t so much as let any of the males in the room get an inch on them. His magic surged and went for their hearts, twisting them and stopping them flat in their chests. He can feel the bruises forming on his body, at the deaths that were brought as each body drops like a stone to the floor. He could taste blood.

Realistically, he knew. He knew that his magic shouldn’t be causing him damage so soon, after only three bodies and a healed laceration to Nate’s chest. But he never learned. He never learned how to use his healing magic properly, never had a teacher that could teach him the intricacies of it. The only one who could, who could teach him, was the one who had wanted him dead the last ten years. The one who forced him into a marriage alliance as a way to survive.

Both his and Nate’s eyes went to the cells and his heart stopped clean in his chest at the male inside a cage, at the ash gold hair matted down and hazel green eyes blown out and filled with bloodlust. At the pulled back lips and the snarl tearing from the male’s throat.

At his brother.

At Bay.

And his heart broke.

Blake ran his fingers through Aurora’s midnight hair carefully as he brushed it. He took such deep satisfaction in it, in the feeling of her proximity, in the feeling of her back against his chest. He brushed her hair to the side and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, her honey and lotus blossom scent filling his nose.

He pulled on his self-control, stopping himself from biting down on her beautiful brown skin. Instead he peppered kisses up her shoulder and lightly tugged at her hair, lifting her chin to press a kiss to her lips.

Aurora melted back against him and he pushed harder into the kiss, his fingers ghosting down the length of her arms. He hadn’t thought this was ever to be a possibility, kissing her, much less holding her.

He had been with girls, plenty of girls, he had even kissed Dacia when they were twelve. They had been each other’s first kiss. But none of the girls he had been with had been like Aurora. None of them would have lied straight to his face to protect someone else, to protect their abuser. No one would have dared. And while he hated that she had, while he hated that he hadn’t protected her when it had counted, he respected the balls it would have taken to lie to him.

He had thought it were impossible, that she’d marry Ash, that she would grow to love him, and he her. Despite Ash’s many flaws, he was a good male. For both of them, Blake would have let her go. But here she was. In his arms and with blessings from her father and Lucien both.

Aurora parted from the kiss, her dark eyes bright and face flushed as she looked up at him. Such a pure make satisfaction instilled in himself at the rising and falling from her chest as she caught her breath. He gave her a lazy grin and she rolled her eyes.

Aurora pressed her slim brown hand to his chest and his heart picked up at the contact. “Take me to the camps.”

Out of reflex, Blake’s fingers wrapped around her wrist and he bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at her, at the too thin body that was so slowly rebuilding itself to its former glory. He scanned her, weighing her strengths and weaknesses and then lifted his dark eyes to her own. “The second it becomes too much, we’re leaving. No ifs, ands or buts.”

He had meant to say no. To tell her she shouldn’t be straining herself by training at the camps so soon out of a coma but the brightness and almost pleading in her eyes had him saying the opposite. “I will not hesitate.” he warned firmly.

Her eyes lit up and she leaned forward, planting a hard kiss to his lips. “Thank you, Sunshine.”

Blake snorted and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “You’re welcome,” he grinned. “Let’s get you in some leathers, hmm?”

Nate’s heart stopped clean in his chest and he stopped midstep, Ash nearly crashing into him. He stared at his mate, at the male who he was so far gone for snarling at him, circling his cage like some wild beast. He stared at the wounds that marred his body, his face. He stopped breathing as realization came crashing down.

He was feral. His mate was feral.

“Baylor?”

His voice came out so small and so broken, tears wanted to fall from his eyes and rage so black it was darker than his father’s shadows filled his entire being as his mate’s entire body flinched at his name.

Nate’s feet went to go forward only for Ash’s fingers to hook into his arm, yanking him back sharply. “Don’t,” Ash hissed in his ear. “Bay doesn’t know who you are. He’ll tear your throat out without hesitation. Most likely with his teeth.”

His throat tightened as he reached down for the bond, only finding a roaring icy wind, no sign of his mate at the other end. But he refused to believe Baylor would hurt him. Even if they weren’t mates, Baylor would know him.

Nate yanked his arm out of Ash’s grip. “No he won’t,” he said firmly, slowly walking over dead bodies to the cage. Baylor scurried back further into the cage as he leaned down, cocking his head as his mate’s purple and blue and red body.

“Bayl-” he stopped Baylor’s name at the recoil of his body. “It’s me,” he whispered, trying again. “It’s Nathaniel, remember?”

Baylor’s brows pinched together but still he looked ready to pounce, to tear his throat open with his teeth.

There had to be a way, a way to find the male he loved somewhere in that broken and scarred powerful body. Nate licked his cracked lips, tasting salt on his tongue. He was crying. “Remember when we were little?” Nate said carefully. “When we met?”

Baylor just growled low in warning as he edged closer to him. Ash made a strangled sound and Nate’s heart cracked more in his chest as he froze in place. “I had just turned nine and was spending time with Nesta in Hybern. You broke a vase and hid in the library. You thought I was pretty but I ruined it by ripping up a book.”

Growls kept tearing from his mate’s throat and more tears slipped down his face. “You said you were always in love with me. That you were so sure you’d never have me. But you do. You do. You will have me until the last star in the sky dies.” His throat tightened and he choked out, “Forever, Baylor.”

Baylor’s brows furrowed more and he stopped circling his cage; something like recognition flickered in Nate’s shadows, making Nate lean forward, pressing a hand to the iron bars, cold seeping into and biting his palm. A low rumble of warning returned from Baylor but it wasn’t filled with the charge of wanting to attack.

“We kissed for the first time in the Blood Rite,” Nate whispered. “You were so sad and so tired and so lost, but I kissed you and you kissed me back. I told you I would always come after you and I’m keeping my promise.”

Baylor blinked and as Nate went to move closer, his cousin rasped low with warning, “Nate-”

A fresh growl tore from Baylor and Nate refrained from glaring at his cousin and kept his eyes on his mate. “I know you don’t want to come back, but please,” Nate’s voice cracked, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. “You promised. You promised you wouldn’t let me break and by not coming back, you’re breaking that promise.”

Nate hoped against all hope that in this darkness, in this despair, his mate would still hold true to his word. And just when Nate thought it wouldn’t work, just when he was ready to think he wouldn’t come back, Baylor blinked. And then blinked again, his eyes returning to their piercing hazel-green.

Relief rose up violently, choking him as Baylor’s growls receded and his dead eyes filled to the rim with silver. “Nate?”

He instantly had the cage door open and Baylor in his arms. His mate buried his face in his neck, his arms around him desperately as broken sobs tore through the male’s throat. Nate’s eyes closed for a heartbeat as he held onto him tightly before Baylor pulled out of his arms, looking at him with wide eyes and pure, unbridled fear. And then relentless fury.

“What are you doing here?” Baylor hissed, his voice breaking. “You can’t be here! He’ll know. He knows what you mean to me. He’ll hurt you, he’ll hurt you and it’ll be my-”

Nate just clasped his mate’s face and pressed a hard kiss to his cracked and bloody lips, cutting off the rest of his words. Baylor stiffened and loosened up all at once and Nate tasted copper and salt. Whether or not the salt was from his own tears, he didn’t know, but he kept kissing him.

Baylor pulled away from him, his piercing eyes filled with ghosts in this hellish nightmare as he clasped Nate’s face. “Where is she. Where’s my sister?” He demanded. “Where’s Breanya.”

Nate blinked back confusion and he wrapped his fingers around Baylor’s wrist. “You mean Aysel?” he asked carefully. “She’s safe. She’s in Velaris.”

“No,” Baylor growled, pulling out of his grasp, his eyes intense and face barely controlled. “I mean Breanya. She’s five and he has her.”

Oh no.

“Bay?” Ash breathed.

Baylor’s eyes snapped behind him, a near feral snarl tearing through his throat and before he could attack Ash, Nate had his arms around his mate’s waist, barely holding him back from tearing his throat out.

“Bay, no. That’s Ash,” he said soothingly, avoiding using his full name. “Remember? He’s your brother. He found you.”

Slowly, Baylor stopped fighting against him, the snarls ebbing away as he pressed his forehead to Nate’s shoulder and took a ragged intake. But then he stiffened, and he snapped his head up and yanked himself out of Nate’s arms, standing on shaky legs and stalking up to Ash.

Aurora tipped her head back, letting the sun sink into her skin as she walked through Cassian’s camp with Blake walking behind her. She missed this. So much, she missed the sun basking on her skin and the heat.

Her mate came up beside her, his shadows wreathing around himself as he kept his back straight, his eyes looking around them coolly, daring any of the training warriors to come anywhere near them. Near her.

She would roll her eyes if she didn’t think he was being an adorable jackass. It was endearing and annoying all at once.

They reached the center of the pitch and Blake turned to her, his face hard and looking her over, the way he would a soldier and not his mate. The lazy grin she had grown accustomed to was long gone leaving battlefield efficiency. “We’re going to do some brain exercises while we do some light sparring. Test your cognitive skills to make sure your brain is where it’s supposed to be.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “My brain works just fine.”

Blake gave her a sharp, lazy grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s up to you, Sweetheart. We can go back to Velaris if you want.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

She sighed and grabbed the mitts as Blake grabbed his own. It didn’t take her long for her to work herself into a rhythm. One, two. One, two, three.

She punched and punched and punched, answering each question as she propelled herself forward, getting lost to the feeling of mitt against pad, against sweat dripping down her temple and between her shoulder blades.

In four months she had missed training. She had missed the heat and the feeling of her heart racing. She had always been good at this: Being a warrior. But her father, her father had taken this away from her.

He had tried taking her away from her mate. From Blake.

She punched forward harder, trying to get the growing turmoil out of her body the only way she knew how. She hadn’t realized she was shaking until Blake took off his pads and pulled her into him. He was so solid, as if he could hold his own against a mountain and return the victorious.

“We’re done,” he said firmly against her hair. “You look ready to drop.”

She looked up at him, at his tawny features, his dark brown eyes looking down at her beneath dark gold eyelashes. “Come on, the barracks are clear and have some privacy. You can shower.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Are you saying I stink?”

“Absolutely,” he said with the straightest, most serious face she had ever seen. “I still love you, though.”

Despite everything, a bubble of laughter came out of her and she pressed her forehead against his chest. “You stink too, you ass.” She looked up at him and got to her toes, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. “Shower with me?”

Blake’s eyes flared as he looked down at her, his shoulders red from the sun. “You sure?”

Aurora rolled her eyes. “Yes Sunshine, I’m sure.”

Blake smiled slowly. “Okay.”

Silence echoed in Bay’s head and terror filled his heart as he made himself stay upright, going up to Ash. Bay recoiled inward as his eyes went to the purple and blue splashes dipping into his brother’s armor. Ash was hurt. His brother was hurt and it was his fault. 

Bay grabbed his arms and tried and failed to shake him. “What are you doing here,” he seethed. “I fucking told you to let me go. I told you to let me go!”

His brother’s vibrant, glowing eyes flashed at the cut curving from Bay’s temple down to an inch from his lips; Shame settled in his stomach. “Of course I came after you, you dumb fuck,” Ash snarled, grabbing his face. “You’re my brother.”

“No. No,” Bay’s voice cracked, yanking himself out of Ash’s touch. “Your life will always, always be more important than mine! I’m a bastard and you’re the heir to the Autumn Court!”

His brother’s face darkened, his eyes intense and swallowing him whole as he grabbed his shoulders with firm hands. “You. Are. My. Brother,” he growled, “and I care about you more than any position I was born to. I will always choose you first.”

Tears slipped down Bay’s cheeks and he nearly buckled to the ground below, only for Ash to wrap his arm around his waist, being the only thing to stop him from dropping.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t deal with these people, with Ash, risking and sacrificing so much for him. Bay pressed his forehead against Ash’s chest and rook a ragged intake when suddenly his ears pricked, picking up on shuffling and crashing above them.

Bay’s head lifted and he looked at the ceiling shaking, plaster cracking and falling from the chaos going on above them. Fear pooled in his stomach and Bay nearly collapsed again at the thought someone was going to get killed because of him.

“It’s Cassian,” Nate said, his shadows brushing Bay’s cut cheek. “He’s fighting David.”

The fear in his body boiled into hate and Bay pulled away from his brother and Nate, leveling a look at Ash, trying to keep the look of pain and sef-incompetence out of his face. “Give me your sword,” he said calmly, holding out a trembling hand. “Now.”

His brother’s vibrant green eyes looked him over, his lips thinning as he shook his head. “You’re in no-”

Fuck that, Bay thought as he curled his fingers into Ash’s armor and shoved him backwards, flat against the wall. He nearly blinked at the strength he still had, though it wasn’t nearly where it was normally considering Ash tried pushing him back.

Bay planted his feet, his training taking over as he pushed him further into the wall. “Now,” he snarled. “I need to get there before Cassian kills him and I don’t have time to argue with you.” Ash’s eyes narrowed and Bay bared his teeth. “Give me your fucking sword.”

Ash removed his hand from the hilt and Bay pulled it out of its sheath and stalked past him. His veins screamed wrong and his head pounded ass he forced himself to stay upright and to walk up the stairs to the ash door and through it.

Adrien walked through the library, his shadows picking up the priestesses throughout the space, their joy, their pain, their love, their sorrow. He tried ignoring it as he worked his way through the stacks, also ignoring the looks of curiosity from the females reading in the corner.

He went through to the back until he found Miko, shrouded in her clothing, a circlet atop her head. Leaning against the stacks, Adrien folded his arms over his chest, his shadows reaching out, feeling her happiness and safety from the female. Good.

She turned around to face him, her upturned eyes warm, a small smile curved on her face. “Hello, Adrien.”

He inclined his head in greet. “How are you doing? Clotho helping you okay? You feel safe here?”

She folded her hands in front of her. “I do, thanks to you.”

He picked up her truth in his shadows and he shook his head, his black hair falling into his eyes. “No, you made the choice to get out. It’s all on you.”

Her smile widened and she tilted her head. “Did you come here just to see how I was doing?”

“No. I came to offer you something.” She rose a brow, her uncertainty flickering in her dark eyes and in his shadows. “I’m going to Hybern in a week. They’re building a settlement, a haven of sorts for females. Would you be interested in going? Or would you want to stay here?”

She furrowed her brows and took a tentative step up to him. “If it’s for females, why are you going?”

To help build. To make up for being a jackass to everyone. To run.

Adrien closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the stacks and sighed deeply. “That is a long list and I’d rather not share.” But then he looked down at her. “What’s your answer? Are you going or staying?”

“Staying.”

He looked at her for a moment longer, reading her face, looking at her wings and warm eyes. He couldn’t feel it anymore, that terror she had felt a week ago. It had been replaced with warmth and kindness and happiness, and most importantly, safety. And he was glad.

Adrien pushed off the stacks and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Good. If you ever need anything, just send word and I’ll come.”

He didn’t know why he was putting himself responsible for her. It wasn’t like they were friends or anything. But it was almost like he needed her to be safe, needed her to be happy after feeling her terror in his shadows. He needed her to be okay, if only to remain sane.

She smiled up at him and nodded.

With a quick scan of her face, Adrien turned around and walked out of the library into the afternoon sun.

Aurora looked at the long space of showerheads as Blake locked the doors and turned on the faucets. She could feel his dark eyes drinking her in as she peeled off her leathers, watching him do the same.

Every dip of muscle on her mate’s body was beautiful but somehow brutal, his shoulders lightly freckled and covered in black swirling ink. A warrior, through and through. She watched him take his hair out of its braid, letting it fall around his head and shoulders, letting the hot water matte it down as he held her gaze, running a lathered rag over his sculpted chest.

It was a show. She refrained from rolling her eyes at the blatancy of the whole thing. Blake was arrogant and cocky and he was kind and sweet despite the inflated ego. Her heart picked up in her chest as she forced her eyes to not travel down and she turned to the faucet, pulling out her own braid and tipping her head back.

She closed her eyes and let the water wash away the sweat and grime from the hours of training. Her muscles ached and her skin burned but she loved it. “Thank you, Blake.”

It couldn’t have been easy, to struggle with that instinct to protect her after what had happened. She couldn’t imagine what his face must have looked like when he saw her, covered in bruises and halfdead. The fact he realized she had lied to him since the beginning.

“You have nothing to thank me for,” he said against her shoulder.

Aurora braced the wall as a lathered rag washed her, a set of lips pressing light kisses to her heated skin. Her head fell back against her mate’s chest and she let him kiss and wash her as all the feelings, the ache wash down the drain.

She turned around, pressing her back to the wall and hooked her arms around his neck. He let her pull him down but he stopped a breadth from her lips, his dark eyes flicking to her own. “You sure?”

“Sunshine, there is a naked girl right in front of you. What do you think?”

A smile rested on his lips as he brushed her own with the pad of his calloused thumb. “You and that wicked mouth of yours. I’m not fucking you,” He said, pained, obviously not happy with his own words. “You can do whatever you want to me but I’m not fucking you. Not here. Not now.” Not eleven days out of a coma.

She pulled his lips down to crush her own. Her heart picked up in her chest as he pressed up against her, his hands bracing her hips, firmly and yet so carefully at the same time. Her head emptied, leaving nothing but embers and sage.

A part of her wondered how many girls Blake had kissed, how many there were before her. Especially after Dacia had told her what Illyrian males were known for: Fighting and fucking.

But she let that all wash away as his mouth opened above hers.

She was faintly aware of Blake’s arm snaking around her back, pressing her firmly to his solid chest. She didn’t think about her father. She didn’t think about the unclaimed bond between her and the male she was in love with. The only thing she could think of was the feeling of skin against hers, of wanting to sink her teeth into that tawny skin.

He must have sensed what she wanted because he then smiled against her mouth and lifted her up. Her legs went instinctively around his waist and tried gripping the sides of his face with her hands as she kissed him.

She was faintly aware of Blake’s corded arm around her back easily, holding her up as the other braced the shower stall. She wondered how light she had to be for him to lift so easily. Though with the way he was built, she had a feeling he’d be able to lift her easily even when she was at full weight.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she pulled back and looked down at his heated black eyes, his golden eye lashes. He arched his neck and her eyes went to the tawny skin and her teeth ached. But she hadn’t bitten anyone before. She hadn’t let herself get close to anyone in such a way. No one but Blake.

Blake was very, very aware of the feeling of Aurora’s skin against his, of her legs around his waist and her breasts against his chest. His blood frenzied in his body as he looked up at her beneath his soaking lashes.

“Do it,” he said roughly. “Bite me. You’re not going to hurt me.”

She looked down at, pulling a lock of drenched midnight black hair from her face. “I don’t know how,” she said quietly, but not weakly.

His heart shuddered in his chest at that. At this female who hadn’t been with another male before him. A sense of honor, of male satisfaction instilled in himself at that: At being the first. A smile pulled at his lips as he looked up at her. “Would you like me to show you how?”

When she nodded, Blake gently took her hand into his and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist with his eyes on hers. He could feel her heartbeat pounding beneath his lips and he fucking loved it.

Blake opened his mouth and sunk his teeth into her wrist. He nearly moaned at the heat and taste of her blood filling his mouth. His eyes fluttered at the sound coming from her and it just ignited his blood to want more.

But he didn’t give it to himself. He didn’t let himself have even an inch as he slid his tongue over the puncture marks left by his teeth and licked the blood from his bottom lip, his eyes flicking up to hers. “Think you got it?”

Her face was heated, lust addled and when she nodded, Blake arched his neck, giving her what she wanted because that was what he would always do: give her whatever she wanted.

Aurora’s eyes slid from his and looked at his skin once more.

His hand slipped up her back as her teeth sunk into his skin. This time he did moan. Fuck, fuck did he love a girl’s teeth in him. Especially when they were deep. The pain mixed in with the pleasure was enough to drive him out of his mind.

Her teeth sunk deeper, almost as if she could sense his thoughts. His heart was slamming in his chest at this female, this beautiful female who he loved, who loved him. He may have been with other females but he had never been in love with any of them. None of them saw him as anything more than some pretty fuck toy to get them off. And he had been fine with it.

Aurora ran her tongue over her bite and looked at him. “Did I do it right?”

Blake pressed a crushing kiss to her lips. “You did it perfect.”

Maze sat on the roof, watching the people down below scurry around like ants. The pounding in her head, thank the Mother, was ebbing away. There was only so much of a hangover she could handle before she got mean. Well, meaner.

She could see Adrien walking down the street, his hair in his face and hands in his pockets. His shadows wreathed around him as he came out of the library. She had a feeling he must have gone to talk to someone because Adrien rarely read a book. The letters moved around too much, far more than for Bay. He was nearly illiterate, refusing to open a book at all. He usually worked around reading by having people read to him without them actually aware they were doing it. She had caught on though and had tried sitting with him, for hours on end but had gotten nowhere other than a headache and pissed off mate.

She debated going down and talk to him when she felt someone sit beside her. Alvarez. She looked at the female squinting at the sky. “What did he want to talk to you about? Last I checked you two weren’t even on the first name basis level.”

Alvarez snorted and crossed her ankles. “I made the mistake of telling him things under the influence and now he thinks he can chime in with his two cents.”

Maze shook her head. “He doesn’t have much of a filter. He tends to say things without thinking. I think it’s because he feels too much with his shadows and that makes him rash. More often than not it’s meant with good intentions.”

“Still annoying.”

“It is,” she agreed. “But you tend to get used to it.”

Alvarez leaned forward, squinting down at Adrien’s form walking down the alleyway. “He doesn’t have much facial expression, does he?”

Maze frowned. “Adrien?”

“Yeah.”

She shook her head. “It’s a defense thing. Kind of like me and my lying, I think. He keeps his face neutral to not let anyone know what he’s thinking. He used to smile a lot, actually. Before the Blood Rite. But now… he rarely does it. Only for certain people.” Like me.

Alvarez flicked her dark eyes to her. “What happened in the Blood Rite?”

An eerie frostiness filled her veins as she remembered the blood and darkness and screaming. “You’ve seen the scar twisting around his side, yes?” Avarez’s eyes darkened further and she nodded. “And the scars on his wings?”

Another nod. 

“He used to have a best friend. Zeke. But when they were little, Adrien accidently found something in Zeke’s father’s things that threatened the High Lord’s life and he brought it to his father. Zeke’s father was punished for it and Zeke never forgot. Ten years later, he tortured Adrien for two days. Cut him open with rocks, shredded his wings with stalagmites. Adrien had said that Zeke had some kind of interest in me and he did his best to keep Zeke’s mind occupied.”

Alvarez leaned back on her hands, her face carefully neutral. “He baited him. Let himself be carved apart to keep you safe.”

“Yes,” she said quietly, watching Adrien disappear from her line of vision. “He changed and became ice and wind and shadow. His anger unshapable and unyielding. Destructive. His wings were bad enough they almost had to be amputated because of infection. He had a few surgeries on them to fix the nerve endings. He had been drugged for days at a time because of the pain. Now he’ll rarely ever touch any alcohol.” A lingering fury resting in Alvarez’s dark eyes. “Adrien lost himself but somehow became someone stronger, someone capable of doing unspeakable things to protect those he cares about. It doesn’t help that he feels everything so much more than everyone else.”

“If he’s as good a Shadowsinger as you say, he should have sensed the betrayal coming from him. He should have known.”

Maze smiled sadly, wiping harshly at her face. “That’s the worst of it all. He did. He did sense it and he chose to ignore it and give Zeke the benefit of the doubt. He was his friend. That’s what he kept telling me. ‘He was my friend. He was my friend and he tore me to pieces.’”

Bay’s heart was pounding a mile a minute. His skin was on fire and he hurt so fucking much. His face, his arms, his chest. But worse than that, was the lack of feeling in his heart, in his veins. He hadn’t wanted to come back. He still didn’t want to come back. He wanted to stay in that blissful darkness where he didn’t hurt, where he didn’t see the pure heartbreak on Nate’s face or Ash’s. Where he didn’t feel the fucking shame for getting caught in the first place, for putting Ash and Nate in the position to hurt. To kill people.

He barely cast the dead bodies littering the floor a glace as he stalked through the hall. A male appeared, the male he had bitten, and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Bay coming down the hall. His face turned white, the color of the bandages wrapped heavily around his forearm as he grabbed at his weapons.

Bay smiled savagely as he tightened his grip on the sword in his hand. “Guess what. I’m out.” Their swords clashed as they fought, a thin sheen of sweat appeared between his shoulder blades and forehead as he disarmed the male, getting him flat on his back. He barely registered the new wounds on his body.

Bay’s foot connected with the male’s chest, holding him in place as he brought the sword down on his throat, blood spraying everywhere as he yanked it out of the wooden floor beneath the male’s neck. “I told you I’d fucking kill you.”

Without so much as a second look at the male gasping and choking on blood, Bay stalked the rest of the way down the hall, following the sound of battle. He found both males covered in blood, their hair matted down and their bodies cut. His father and David.

More shame flickered in his stomach.

More forced to kill. More wounded.

But before Cassian could drive his blade through David’s heart, Bay cast his eyes at David Odium’s battered freckled face- his face, and said with an emotionless, brutal calm: “Don’t kill him. I want him alive.”


	63. Chapter 63

Zev managed to keep off the radar of most of the warriors in the camp. Luckily, they were more focused on other things, or maybe Azriel cut them down. He didn’t know.

He managed to only wound himself. But when the sun began to set and the front door to the Camp Lord’s house opened… his heart stopped in his chest.

Cassian, Nate and  _Bay_ appeared, and Zev’s eyes went straight for the scar twisting on the male’s cheek. Blood coated all three of them but the lack of  _life_ in Bay’s eyes… the last time he saw those eyes, Bay was hellbent on righting wrongs done to his own.

And the lack of color in his skin.. his usually golden skin that had usually tanned itself thanks to hours on end in the sun training, it had paled almost to the color of parchment and his freckles were  _gone_.

He went to take a step forward, but Nate’s vision snapped to his and a low warning growl sounded in the male’s throat. Right. Wounded mate and all that. Instead, Zev carefully raised his hands and looked at Bay and said, “Is he dead?”

Bay shook his head once. “No.” Zev waited for the male to continue with the answer but instead Bay said, “You broke your promise.”

“Bay-” Zev started.

Bay held up his unruined hand and cut off the rest of his words. “Thank you.” Zev blinked in surprise as Bay shoved his hands in his pockets and said, “If you didn’t, I’d be worse than dead.”

Zev forced a crooked grin on his face and said, “I guess we’re even now, yeah?”

Bay shook his head once more. “We’ll never be even, Zevakyn,” Bay said tiredly. “It would seem we both have a bad habit of saving each other. You should go home. I’m sure Tarus is waiting for you.” Before Zev could say a word, Bay looked up at Nate and said, “Please take him home.”

Nate’s eyes darkened and Zev could see the male was seconds away from arguing with him. But the exasperation in Bay’s face had Nate sighing and saying, “Fine. Don’t do  _anything_ until I get back.” Bay gave him a blank look and Nate whirled to him and held out a hand and said, “Come on.”

The second he had Nate’s hand, the shadowsinger’s darkness wrapped around them and they were back in front of his home. Nate let his hand go and said, “Don’t tell him. Don’t tell  _Tarus_. I don’t trust them to not tell Baylor. Those two get along about as well as two cats.”

  Zev hesitated, but the panicked look and the  _worry_  etched on Nate’s face had Zev saying, “It was none of my business, Nate. I won’t tell anyone. I hope…” Zev sighed. “I hope everything works out between the two of you. You need each other.”

Nate smiled and Zev knew why Bay loved him. There was just something about Nate. He was all heart and light and for someone like Bay to walk away-

“Thank you, Zevakyn,” Nate whispered, wrapping his darkness around himself.

Before Zev could utter a single word, Nate winnowed away and back to his mate.

* * *

Nate reappeared back in front of David’s house. His heart leapt into his throat as he looked at Baylor. He’d have to get used to it, seeing those scars and that vacancy in those eyes. Nate fixed a smile on his face as Baylor looked up at him and said, “He get home okay?”

“Yeah,” Nate said quietly.

Before Nate could say another word, Bay sighed and started walking through the camp. Nate looked at Cassian, whose eyes were following Bay. His face was calculating, not a flicker of emotion showed. “What do we do?”

“We follow him,” Cassian said after a long heartbeat. “Make sure he doesn’t  _off_ himself.”

“ _That’s not funny_ ,” Nate hissed.

  “Do you see me laughing?” Cassian whispered and followed after Baylor.

 Nate closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. He couldn’t get that  _look_ out of his head. That utter vacancy or that blink of such profound pain. The blackness of it and the complete despair. The last time he had seen that was in his own eyes after-

Nate shut  _that_ particular thought process down and let out a shaky breath.  _That_ was over.  _That_ was done and gone, right along with Keir’s heartbeat. And all of theirs. Thanks to his mate and the blood coating both their hands.

Steeling his spine, Nate ran his own hands through his hair and followed Cassian and Baylor. His mate’s trembling hands curled into fists and Nate could see those knuckles whitening from where he was.

  He wasn’t sure how Baylor knew where to go with such dizzying clarity. But the male weaved through houses, ignoring the curious looks of the bypassers. Though those shoulders were wound and stiff.

Baylor stopped dead in his tracks and stared at a small house. The bond shuddered between them and agony blinked across his mate’s scarred face. Baylor’s chin rose, and he forced himself forward and through the wooden front door.          

Cassian followed, and Nate flicked his eyes over the house. It was small. Smaller than most of the houses he had seen in Velaris. White paint chipped off the sides and one of the windows were cracked.

  He knew immediately where he was.

This was where Baylor grew up.

Loosing a breath, Nate followed the two males into the house. His heart shuddered at the small quaint space. He could easily see his mate climbing up on the simple stone countertops or see him curled up on the then-green couch.

Baylor’s face was carefully blank as he slowly walked through the space. His mate ran a finger over the back of the couch and looked at his fingers before closing his eyes. The bond shuddered once more, and Baylor disappeared down the hallway.

What he would  _give_ to have Rhys’s abilities and peer into Baylor’s head.

But something told him, he wouldn’t like what he found.

* * *

Aurora settled into Blake’s lap as she tried her best keeping Tarus distracted. She had grown accustomed to having Blake’s strong arms around her, having his chin rest on her shoulder. He had done so much for her and yet, there seemed to be something on his mind.

She tried pestering him about it, to see if there was  _some_ thing she could do for her mate, but she wasn’t sure if he’d tell her. She had a feeling it had something to do with Dacia, her best friend. She hadn’t seen much of the High Lady over the last two weeks.

Whether or not that was from avoidance or because of the demands of being such a young High Lady, she wasn’t sure. Aurora made a mental note to ask Ash.

But right now, she pushed thought away and smiled at her sibling, “Tarus, honey, I’m sure Zev will be okay. He survived the camp once before, right?”

 Tarus flicked their gold eyes up to hers and sighed through their nose. “Yeah. But, he would have been killed if it weren’t for the High Lord showing up when he did. Now hes back in that place because of  _him_.”

“What do you have against Bay,” Blake drawled. He oofed when Aurora elbowed him in the stomach. “That’s just rude,” Blake said, nipping at her shoulder. “I was just asking a question.”

“The adults are talking, Sunshine,” Aurora said lightly, gooseflesh rising on her skin from his breath. She settled deeper into him and said to Tarus, “Zev will be fine. You can kiss him all you want when he gets home.”

Color rose on Tarus’s cheeks and they looked at the clock and said, “He’s been gone for nearly seven hours. How long does it take to get someone and get out? The next time I see Baylor I’m going to give him a piece of my mind,” Tarus said crossly.

“Call him that and he’ll take it out of your hide,” Blake warned. “Nate’s the only one who he’ll let call him that.”

Tarus rolled their eyes. “It’s his  _name_.”

 Blake buried his face in her neck and mumbled, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. ”

Tarus sighed and got to their feet. “I’m going to go wait at home,” they said, coming up to press a kiss to the top of her hair. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“You sure you don’t want some company?”

“No,” they said, shaking their head. “I could use the walk alone.”

When Tarus left, Blake instantly had her on her back and was hovering over her. She arched her brows at the grin on his face, at the heat and wickedness in those dark eyes. “You were just waiting for Tarus to leave, weren’t you?”

Blake ran a hand down her side gingerly and brushed a practiced thumb over her hip. “Maybe.”

She snorted, and Blake dipped his head and kissed her deeply. A low moan sat in the bottom of her throat as Blake caressed her thigh, as his tongue slipped in her mouth. She could feel her pulse rising steadily with each deft touch.

 _Mate_ rang in her ears as he moved to kiss her neck. Her breath shuddered at the scrape of those teeth against her skin. She waited for the bite, she wanted the damned bite, she could  _feel_ Blake holding back.

  Aurora pressed a hand to his chest and said firmly, if a bit breathlessly, “I’m not going to break, Blake. Do it.”

Blake looked down at her, those dark eyes conflicting between the primal desire to protect and the desire to take. Aurora curled her fingers around Blake’s wrist and squeezed, emphasizing her point. “Bite. Me.” She cocked her head and smiled, “Unless you  _afraid_.”

  Blake’s nostrils flared as he wetted his lips. “Sweetheart,” He said in a pained voice, “Those’re fighting words.”

  Her grin grew, and she hooked her arms around his neck. “So are you going to fight back or am I going to win?  _Again_.”

Blake let out a shuddering breath and she watched the control in his near black eyes snap. He dipped his head and his lips brushed her throat. Her eyes closed as those teeth sunk into her skin. Her breath trembled as Blake moaned low in his throat.

  He lifted his head to look at her and ran a thumb over the blood shining on his bottom lip and sucked it off. “You,” he said roughly, brushing his hand down her side. “Are trouble, Aurora Luxmae.” She bit at her lip and tried not squirming beneath that look.

 A smirk rose up on those lips and he dipped his head down to kiss her deeply, thoroughly. Her blood thrummed as he slowly parted from her and feathered a thumb over her cheek. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too.”              

* * *

Bay’s heart lodged itself in his throat. The place was almost perfectly preserved, minus the peeling wallpaper and dust coating everything. He flicked his eyes over the rest of the He could almost hear the laughs and could almost feel the hugs.  _Almost._

Bay forced himself to remain calm as he walked through the house. He was already shaking from the withdrawal, he didn’t need to shatter the illusion he had spent the last six hours weaving.

He went to the small room with the chipped green door and small bed and dresser. His lungs squeezed in his chest at the small array of toys and stuffed animals. And before he knew what he was doing, Bay went up to the small bed and knelt to run a hand over the quilted blanket.

Tears wanted to slip down his cheeks as memory after memory slammed into him. He remembered them tucking him in, he remembered getting out of bed thirty minutes later and climbing into theirs.

Any words from the others in the room was drowned out by the roaring in his ears. Twelve years of grief rose up violently and choked him and he would have collapsed if it weren’t for the fact he was already on the ground.

Bay clawed inward, towards that light and he latched onto it like a lifeline. Air filled his lungs and a renewed strength coated his bones as he stood. He ignored Nate’s wide, wide eyes and walked out of the room.

  Bay braced the wall as he carefully walked down the hallway. There was so much dust, so much pealing wallpaper. The place was fit for the ghosts that lived inside. Bay stopped in front of the last bedroom. The room that still seared the undersides of his eyes on the nights he wasn’t so lucky.

He let out a slow, shaky breath as he went inside his mothers’ bedroom. He could almost see her there, could almost see those dead eyes and could almost see that long brown hair fanned out around her still body.

Bay was shaking, and it had nothing to do with the withdrawal. He forced himself forward, into the room. His chest was a hollow thing in this place. Nate came up beside him and placed a hand on Bay’s back as he murmured, “Maybe we shouldn’t be here, Baylor. At least not right now.”

Bay ignored him as he went further into the room. It smelled like death, stale and stagnant. Bay swallowed thickly. “I found her in here. I thought she had been sleeping so I tried shaking her awake.” His voice faltered, and he tried again and again to say, “I wanted to know why she left me, why she didn’t want me anymore.” Bay let out a shaky breath and said numbly, “I guess I know why now, huh?”

“You don’t have to tell me this,” Nate said quietly, brushing Bay’s bangs from his eyes. “You don’t have to say anything.”          

Bay closed his eyes tightly and sighed raggedly. He was too fucking tired to lie, and he couldn’t keep leaning on Nate. Bay curled his fingers tightly into fists as he forced himself out of Nate’s touch and up to the bed.

Bay lowered to the ground on shaky legs and pulled the nightstand drawer open. He sneezed at the puff of dust that flew out and peered down inside. Journal after journal laid inside and Bay picked one up and thumbed through it.

* * *

                _…was born today. My baby was born on the first day of the new year. He’s so tiny! I suppose that’s what happens when you’re born too early. Even though my Baylor looks just like_ him,  _he is_ mine _. I won’t let David have him. I’ll do whatever I must… eyes are so bright and alive. I can tell my boy is going to be a sweetheart. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure he stays sweet… crawling everywhere. Alyx has to put my art supplies up so he can’t reach! I’m too_ short _. Hopefully he’s not cursed being so short as well… running around the house so much! He’s so fast. Are boys supposed to be this fast?…_

* * *

Bay’s throat tightened violently, and he closed his eyes and forced himself to  _breathe_. The words were written carefully, though misspelled. It would seem Bay took after his mother in  _that_ regard as well.

His traitorous mind went back to those damned words that David told him. ‘ _She let me fuck her to keep you_.’

 Bay slammed the journal closed and threw it back into the drawer and ran his trembling fingers through his damp hair. The shakes and sweating were getting progressively worse and his stomach was in  _knots_.

Bay got to his feet and walked past Cassian and Nate and back through the hallway. Black lightning thundered across in his vison and before he could summon his training, his feet gave out underneath him and he collapsed to the floor. Pain laced the back of his head as it smacked the wall. “ _Shit_ ,” Bay whispered, rubbing his head.

“Bay!”

Cassian knelt in front of him and gripped his chin, looking him over carefully. He tried yanking out of his touch, he tried fucking  _standing_ , but Cassian forced him down. “Maybe you should let Ash help.”

“ _No_ ,” Bay snarled, summoning every shred of strength to push the male away. It didn’t work. “I’m not letting him near me.” Cassian opened his mouth to argue and Bay put his hand over the male’s mouth and said raggedly, “I said  _no_.”

Nate knelt down next to Cassian and frowned at Bay. He didn’t miss the panic behind those dark eyes.  “You just collapsed on the fucking ground, Baylor.” He nearly flinched and Nate’s gaze somehow darkened more. “It’s only going to get worse,” he whispered. “ _Please,_  let him help you.”

“I just stood up too fast,” Bay said stubbornly.

  “Bay,” Cassian said flatly.

“You two may not have a problem with Ash getting  _hurt_  every  _fucking_  time he heals someone,” Bay said callously. “But I  _do._ I’m not going to let him injure himself for something that was my own fault.”

Nate’s eyes flashed, and he fisted his fingers in Bay’s- David’s- shirt and yanked him forward and bared his teeth. “Listen to me, you fucking stubborn  _brat_ , that monster said no one has survived the withdrawal process.  _I won’t lose you_.”

  Bay met his gaze unflinchingly. “A brat,  _really_  Nathaniel?” Nate glowered at him, a small growl in the male’s throat as Bay said, “I thought you were better than that at name calling.”

  “I’m not kidding Baylor!”

“Well maybe I shouldn’t survive it!” Bay nearly shouted, tears pricking behind his eyes. Nate’s entire body recoiled, and Bay couldn’t keep the pain and utter emptiness out of his voice. “He  _wants_  me alive. Do you understand what he  _did_  to my mother? It wasn’t just once. He told me that she let him fuck her in order to keep me. And what do I do? I come  _back_ to this fucking place.”

Rage blinked across Cassian’s face as Nate said quietly, “I’ve lived it, remember?”

C _auldron_. Of course. Of  _course_ , if anyone would understand, it would be Nate. How the fuck could he say something like this to  _Nate_. “I’m so sorry,” Bay whispered hoarsely. “I’m-”

 Nate brushed his thumb over Bay’s cheek and he said firmly, “You’re going to kill him for  _everything_ he has done to you and your family. But you can’t  _do_ that if you’re dead. I don’t care what you use to keep yourself alive. Hate, revenge, spite, Aysel. Me,” His gaze shuddered. “I don’t  _care_. But don’t. Give. Up. Don’t let him win.”

  Bay blinked up at him and Nate’s impossibly kind features were so  _absolute_ , so steady and the faith that the male had in him… Bay let out a breath and whispered, “Okay. Okay, I won’t. But I will  _not_ let Ash use his magic on me.”

  Cassian sighed painfully and got to his feet as Nate shook his head. But a faint smile played on those lips as he said, “You are the most  _infuriating_ male I have ever  _met_ , you know that?”

Bay tried forcing himself to smile, to have some  _semblance_ of pretending he was okay and not so tired that sleep would never be able to fix it. It didn’t work. “So I’ve been told,” Bay sighed, holding out a trembling hand. “Help me stand?”

Nate gave him a long look and just when he wasn’t sure Nate would do it, the male laced their fingers together and carefully pulled Bay up to his feet and said in less than a whisper, “You know I’ll always help you. No matter what.”    

* * *

Tarus had spent the last six  _hours_ with their sister, worrying about Zevakyn in that  _place_. Aurora managed to calm them and Blake was anxious and irritable and had obviously been struggling between his mate and his brother being in a Hellhole. Tarus would have been too.

But after a while, They needed to go home. They had come to be comforted with Zevakyn’s scent and those brutally kind eyes and that crooked grin. It didn’t help his overwhelming feelings that the male was keenly observant about their need for space.

He had also never changed in front of them. They had gotten comfortable being able to sleep semi-clothed but Zevakyn never took off his shirt in their presence.

Tarus pushed that thought out of his head and walked into Zev’s house. It was small and quaint and they loved it to pieces. Tarus let out a shuddering breath and walked back to the kitchen where they halted midstep.

Tarus looked at Zevakyn hutched forward, cleaning a wound on his side. But their eyes was on the tattoo on the male’s shoulder. The mountain and three stars, the insignia for the Night Court forces. Tarus inhaled sharply and a snap, deep inside their soul filled their ears.

“Mother,” Tarus whispered, collapsing to the ground.

Zevakyn was instantly on his feet and knelt in front of them, his dark eyes looking them over carefully. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Tarus’s head went completely blank. The tattoo. The bond. The  _tattoo_. The  _bond_.

They weren’t sure which one to freak about the most first. The High Lord said their tattoo was taken care of. That they didn’t need to get it.

 _Zevakyn took permeant ink to his skin for me_.  _And hes my mate_.  _My mate. My mate-_

“Tarus?” Zevakyn said, worry rising in his voice. “ _Tarus_ , what’s wrong?”

“You’re my mate,” they whispered.

Zevakyn blinked blankly and then a sweet smile spread on his lips. “Really?”

Tarus could only nod their damned head and Zevakyn settled in front of them. He curled a finger beneath Tarus’s chin and lightly lifted it and pressed a light kiss on their lips. “I’m honored,” He murmured. “ _Honored_.”

Tears coated Tarus’s vison and they was fairly certain they were about to cry. This male. This selfless male took needle and ink to his golden skin.  _For them_. “You took my tattoo,” Tarus whispered. “Why? You.. you didn’t even  _know_ me.”

Zevakyn cocked his head and brushed his thumb over their cheek. “You saved my life and I could see you were in pain, even with that façade that you were showing.” Tears slipped down Tarus’s cheeks. “I owed you my life, Tarus, and if getting a bit of ink on my skin was a way to repay you, then so be it.”

Tarus cradled the warrior’s face in their hands and tugged him down to their lips. A small noise that sounded suspiciously like a moan came from the male’s throat and Zev pulled back from the kiss and drew air into his lungs.

Tarus’s skin prickled at the heated look in their  _mate’s_ eyes. Zevakyn cleared his throat and said a bit breathlessly, “I better get these bandaged up, yeah?”

Tarus blinked and then looked down at the bruises and cuts on Zevakyn’s side. Right. The wounds. Blush rose deeply into his cheeks and Zevakyn smiled impishly, showing his canines. “Want to help?”

* * *

Ash had kept Breanya busy while Bay and the others- he  _assumed_ \- took David apart. The little girl had been a ray of sunshine, humming about and nearly  _skipping_  as Ash led her to the candy he promised her.

He wasn’t sure how the hell the kid was related to Bay other than the obvious. But with the way Bay had been ready to go for Ash’s throat for trying to get Breanya out of there so Bay could break the fuck down with _out_ a little kid to bare witness to that disaster-

Oh well.

  Ash nearly burned a hole in his pocket getting the girl and her friend candy. He was sure there was a pun in there somewhere but alas, he was officially out of money. Breanya’s friend had taken his share of candy and disappeared, leaving him and Breanya to wander the camp.

It was closing in on twilight and he used his magic to light the way for Breanya. He could smell the fear on her as the night approached. The girl huddled closer to him, her small fingers tightening in his hand.

Breanya pulled him towards a small row of houses. Ash could smell Bay’s cypress and clove scent towards one of the small houses. He could also smell Nate’s apple and lavender and Cassian’s mountain and embers.

“Well,” Ash sighed forcefully. “There’s no time like the present. Let’s go see if Bay will let me keep my head this time. My father would be upset if his heir came home decapitated. Luckily I got three sisters for insurance.”

 “That’s a lot of girls,” Breanya observed.

“Tell me about it,” Ash said bitterly, guiding the girl to the house. “So much estrogen at home, I may as well grow a uterus.”

 Breanya frowned at him but pulled him up through the front door and into the house. Ash nearly sneezed at the  _dust_ everywhere. Ash carefully kept one foot in front of the other, a hand bracing the wall.

His magic was nearly completely depleted from trying to use it all on keeping his vision perfect and from using his fire. His mother would ream him if she knew he was doing something so foolish. His father too. And Bay. Mother, he has so many overbearing people in his life.

Ash found the three males in one of the rooms. He could smell the tension brewing between the three of them. It was wound like a fucking top and Ash could tell it was one match away from burning everything to the ground. “What’d we miss?”

Ash sensed Bay’s attention turn to him and then down to Bree, who let Ash go and bounced forward to Bay. “Ash got me candy.”

“Good,” Bay said.

Bay’s voice had lost that edge and grumpiness that Ash had grown accustomed to associating with the male. His scent was mingled with Nate, as it usually was, but-

He heard Bay walk through the space again and he heard the others follow after him. Ash nealy asked  _where_ they were but it didn’t take him much to pinpoint who the place belonged to. Or  _used_ to belong to.

He heard Bay halt midstep and Bay’s scent was flooded with confusion and anxiety and anger. Ash felt his fire wanting to ignite in his blood as Bay whispered, “What the hell?” A long stretch of silence and then an almost growl, ‘What the  _hell_.”

“Baylor,” Nate breathed.

“Why the fuck does she look like Cassian?” Bay demanded, his voice breaking. Ash could hear Bay’s heart pick up in his chest and he could smell the salt in Bay’s tears. “ _Why do you look like my mother_.”

Nothing from Cassian and then Bay snapped, “Nate stop touching me!” Cassian’s heart shuddered in his chest and he could smell the shock. “ _Answer me, Cassian_.”

 _Fuck this_.

Ash summoned the scraps of his magic, so he could see what the  _hell_ Bay was so upset over. He stalked over to his brother and looked down at the painting both Bay and Cassian were staring at.

Mother damn him and save him both. The woman in the painting had the same long brown hair and hazel-gold eyes and same skin as the Commander of the Illyrian Forces. But if those things didn’t link Cassian to the woman in the painting, it was the brash smile and the light in those eyes.

  “Holy shit,” Ash breathed.

He lifted his eyes to the Commander, to see Cassian stare wide eyed at the painting. He wasn’t sure if the male was breathing but his eyes were so bright and his breath so shallow.

“Are you related to me?” Bay whispered, tears slipping down onto his cheeks. “Did you know?  _Did you know_?”

   There was an edge of hysteria in Bay’s voice and Ash could see the male was seconds away from breaking. Nate took Bay’s shoulders and forced the male’s attention onto himself. “Baylor,” Nate breathed. “ _Baylor_. Look at me _. Look_.”

  Bay was shaking in Nate’s arms, his eyes on Cassian. The male’s breath shuddered as fresh tears slipped down. “Is that why you took me in? Because you knew my mother was related to you?”

Nate huffed and grabbed Bay’s face and pressed a deep kiss to the male’s lips. Bay stiffened and loosened all at once and Nate slowly pulled back and Bay’s eyes were transfixed on Nate’s. Well hell,  _that_ got his attention.    

“Look at him, Baylor. He  _didn’t_  know.”

Bay forced his eyes to Cassian and they fractured deeply before he buried his face in Nate’s chest. Bay choked on a sob and Nate pressed his lips to the top of Bay’s hair as he hugged him tightly.

  That edge of glittering fury dimmed in Bay’s scent and it all clicked for Ash.  _Sonofabitch_. Bay was Nate’s mate. No one-  _no one-_ would have been able to calm Bay the fuck down that fast with just a  _kiss_. Not unless it was his  _mate_. “Holy fuck _.”_

Nate’s head snapped up and there was a near primal warning glare in those dark eyes to not say another word. Ash’s mouth snapped shut and he felt himself pale. For someone who preferred to paint instead of fight, Nate sure as hell could make himself appear deadly when he wanted to.

* * *

The whole world went preternaturally quiet as Cassian stared at the painting. The colors were muted and fading from all the years untouched and there was a thick layer of dust. But those eyes, that hair and smile, he knew them.

He saw that face in his dreams, he saw that face when he went to the  _bone carver_. No, that wasn’t quite right. This face was younger, not as harsh as  _her_ face. Cassian tried over and over to say, “She looks like my mother.”

It came out barely a whisper. The female in the picture was too young to be her… but… Mother damn him. Was this- was this his  _sister_? Had he been raising his sister’s son the last eleven years?

He remembered Ash bringing him that scrawny, terrified boy who had looked seconds away from bolting. The boy who couldn’t fly or read but  _ran_ as if hell was on his heels. And he remembered that feeling when he saw him.

That feeling that he  _knew him_ somehow. That feeling that he felt so deep in his bones. In his  _blood_.

Cassian inhaled sharply and palmed his eyes before he started crying. He blinked back tears and looked at Bay, at the kid’s buried face in Nate’s chest. Bay barely went up to the base of Nate’s throat, barely went up to  _his_ own shoulder. He was so short and yet carried such a presence. But all he could see now was a kid barely hanging on by a thread.

Or a bond.

  No. Not a kid.

 _His nephew_.

He had been raising his own blood for the last-

  Cassian’s throat tightened violently.  He had been alone. He had been  _alone_ in _blood_ for the last five  _hundred_ years. But now he had a nephew, on top of his daughter.

His legs gave out beneath him and all the training in the realm couldn’t keep him from dropping down to his knees.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as a sob tore from his throat. He barely registered the boy kneeling in front of him, but Cassian reached out and pulled him into a tight hug.

Mother save him.

Bay pressed his face into Cassian’s neck and cried silently. This boy was his blood. This boy was  _his_ blood. And he failed him. He let him slip between his fingers time and time again and had let him disappear and get carved apart by David Odium.

Cassian buried his face in Bay’s hair as fresh tears slipped down his cheeks.

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._

Bay’s breath shuddered against his skin as he whispered, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I said.” Cassian’s heart shuddered in his chest and he forced himself to look down at the kid, whose eyes were trained on the floor below. “I should never had said what I did when the twins were born.”

“Damn right you shouldn’t have,” Cassian said, half sob, half laugh. Bay’s ears turned scarlet, and Cassian whispered, “I didn’t know. I swear on the damned Cauldron,  _I didn’t know_.”

Bay sniffled and wiped harshly at his unscarred cheek. “She told me to find you,” he said, flicking those vacant eyes up to his. “She told me to find the Commander. That was the last thing she said to me.”        

  Cassian pulled Bay into him once more and hugged him tightly. Tears threatened to fall once more as he pressed his lips to the top of Bay’s head.

A female he never met- a  _sister_ he never met- used her last dying breath to try to get her son to him. To find a piece of blood to which he would still belong once she passed on. To find  _safety_ with the last piece of family.

  Wait.

 _Wait_.

If Bay was  _his_  sister’s son. If Bay was  _his_ nephew, then David attacked  _his_ -

  Blood roared in Cassian’s ears and his instincts sharpened to a glittering, lethal edge. A low, animalistic snarl tore out of his throat as he got to his feet and turned sharply to stalk through the house and out the front door.

  _I’m going to kill him_.

* * *

Bay barely sensed Ash and Nate pull him to his feet. Cassian was his blood.  _Cassian_ was his blood. He was related to one of the greatest warriors of all time, one of the most powerful warriors of all time.

And he had thrown those words in Cassian’s face. Those awful words that he said, even when Cassian and Nesta had done so  _muc_ h for him. Had given him a home and love and yet, he had told Cassian he wasn’t his family.

He wasn’t just his family.

He was his  _blood_.

He had never thought it a possibility. Never even thought to connect the dots in his far reaches of his mind. And while Cassian’s skin was golden brown, his own skin was closer to that of David’s: Right along with his face.

Bay closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath and flicked his gaze to Ash and then to Breanya. “Watch her.”

  “But-” Breanya started.

  The little girl’s mouth snapped shut at the firm look Bay gave her. She laced her small fingers in Ash’s hand and when the heir nodded to Bay, Bay turned around sharply to leave, but he nearly collapsed at the lightness that slammed through his head.

\Luckily, Nate stopped him from making a fool of himself-  _again_ \- and hooked his arm around Bay’s waist, giving him a solid wall to lean against as he regained his footing. Bay squeezed his eyes shut and gathered his bearings. “Let me go.”

  “Stop being so fucking proud and let him help you,” Ash snapped.

Bay shot the Autumn Court heir a death glare over his shoulder and shoved Nate’s arm away. He needed to  _stop_ using him as a damn crutch. He had two feet and a heartbeat, and he didn’t need  _Nate’s help_.

  It wasn’t fair to either of them.

Bay pressed a trembling hand to the wall and took a slow breath before starting forward through the house and across the camp to that damned house. It took him far longer than he would admit getting to the place.

Bay barely made it down the steps into the dungeon in the basement of the house. His stomach churned violently, and his heart leapt into his throat as the familiar tightness returned with a vengeance. His instincts were screaming to  _run_.

He clamped down on the rising panic as he watched Cassian just  _tear into_ David. Cassian didn’t utter a single word as he tore him apart. Bay had to give props to the monster for not cowing beneath Cassian’s snarl or bared teeth so close to David’s throat.

Though all of David’s skin was coated in blood, rarely any of the golden hue- several shades lighter than Cassian’s- shown. There was just so much  _red_.

  And while Cassian deserved to be able to take his grievances out on David, for attacking  _his_ blood, it was Bay’s  _right_  to kill the bastard, more than anyone’s. “Cassian,” Bay said raggedly, whetting a sharp edge to his voice. “ _Stop_.”

]Cassian’s chest heaved as he gave David Odium a near feral growl and Bay could see the physical struggle it took Cassian to uncurl his fingers from David’s throat. David coughed wetly, blood dripping from his mouth, as Cassian shoved him back in the cage. “For my fucking sister,” Cassian growled.

“You really fucked up, David,” Nate said lightly, from beside Bay.

Bay looked up into those dark eyes. The light tone in Nate’s voice warred against the expression on the male’s face. Those dark eyes glittered with malice and black emotions. With something the humans of the realm associated with the high fae.

He never had seen Nate so… dark. Nate wasn’t dark. He wasn’t consumed with bitterness and anger. He had an actual handle on who the hell he was.

Nate wasn’t him.

  “Are you okay?” Bay asked him quietly.

Nate blinked his dark eyes to him and twitched a half smile up on his lips. “You are the last person who should be asking me that, don’t you think?” Heat seared in Bay’s ears.

“He can’t help it,” David croaked. “That bleeding heart of his-”

 _Bleeding heart_.

Bay took the thin dagger from Nate’s sheath and stalked up to the male. David looked up at him, or at least tried to do with those swollen shut eyes. Bay reached inside once more, for that light and let it coat his bones as he fisted his fingers in David’s ratty hair and yanked his head back.

He heard a pop in David’s neck and the male laughed painfully. “Finally going to do it? You ready to kill the male who is the reason you’re  _alive_? Your father?”

  “Joke’s on you,” Bay whispered numbly so Cassian and Nate couldn’t hear him. “I couldn’t give two shits about being alive.” Bay pressed the edge of the blade to David’s throat and watched blood stream down the thin metal.

Bay summoned every shred of strength he had left and dragged the blade deeply across the male’s throat. “Cassian’s my father. Not you.”

He didn’t so much blink at the blood spurting from David’s throat, splattering Bay’s face, shirt and pants. Blood so dark it looked black seeped past David’s lips, down his throat and onto his battered chest.

Bay didn’t feel a damned thing as he watched David Odium crumble to the ground. He knelt and watched David’s blood spill freely from the deep slit in his neck, with an almost morbid detached fascination.

The male tried gathering air into his lungs, tried saving himself, tried using his Illyrian healing to close the slit to his throat. Too bad for the male, the blade was made of ash. David was unconscious in ten seconds and Bay watched him for another three minutes before he was certain he was dead.

  Bay slowly straightened and ran his good hand through his hair and said, “Good fucking riddance.”  Bay turned around and handed Nate the blade as he gave Cassian a look. “Do what you want with the body. I don’t care.”

Before either of them could respond, Bay carefully padded up the stairs, trying his best to not fall down the damned things. Bay had tuned out their debate on what to do with the body when Cassian clasped his shoulder and said, “We’re going to go have one of the healers look at you. I also need to aet my hand. I think I broke it.”

“You two  _must_ be related, Nate said dryly.

Bay didn’t feel better. Though he didn’t expect to. Revenge wasn’t about  _feeling better_. It was about balancing the scales and setting things right. It was about avenging his mother and who knew how many others David hurt.

* * *

Celeste nearly had a heart attack when she heard a knock at the door. This camp, it wasn’t safe at night. It was when monsters prowled freely. She debated ignoring the knock, to blow out all the lights and go to bed; even if it was barely into the full night.

  But the knocks grew more impatient and what if it was someone who needed to be healed? While there were other healers in the camp, none of the possessed the raw healing magic she did. The only ones who could compare were the Autumn Court heir and Thesan himself.

She had done her best to stay off both courts detections the last fifty years. It hadn’t been hard. She was Illyrian and a female. Though her mouth had gotten her into a few scrapes. It didn’t help she had red hair…

  Celeste quickly grabbed a blade from the kitchen and held it behind her back, just in case, as she went up to the door and cracked it open. She nearly gaped at the sight of the hulking commander and the other males with him. And the little girl.

  She didn’t know what to look at first. The Commander or the Autumn Court Heir or the Spymaster’s son. Or the devil’s son: the one with the hazel-green eyes. All four males looked a bit worse for wear, the commander and the green-eyed boy for sure.

The commander cleared his throat and said, “You’re the best healer in the camp, yeah? We need your services. We’ll pay for your time.”

Celeste opened the door a bit more and let them inside. Healers weren’t meant to take the money of those they helped. But a girl needed to make a living and it wasn’t like she could join the aerial forces. She was with clipped wings and couldn’t fly. And she was  _not_ doing  _laundry_.

Besides. The boy with the hazel green eyes looked like he was going to be sick. She didn’t need him falling dead to be on her conscious.

  “In, in, in,” Celeste huffed. The little girl bounced in first but before any of them could take another step, Celeste ordered, “But take off those shoes and check your weapons at the door. You brutes aren’t going to be needing those in  _my_ house.”

Three of the males complied while Ash slowly turned his piercing green eyes to her and deliberately pulled his weapons off sowly. A sly grin spread on Ash’s lips as he studied her face. “You’re mouthy.”

 The boy with the hazel green eyes shot Ash a warning look. The two dark haired males snorted, and the little girl bounced through her house.

Celeste arched a brow and shrugged. “I reckon I can say what I wish in my own home. If you don’t like it-”

Ash held his hands up. “Oh, trust me, I like it. You going to put your own weapon away or do you plan to skewer us with it?”

She ignored the blush rising up on her cheeks and whirled around to depose of the blade as she said loftily, “I’m still deciding. It’s not every day I get a high fae in my home. Let alone the crowned heir to the Autumn Court.”

She could hear the pleased hum from Ash as the males went to sit in the few pieces of furniture she owned. Her skin prickled at the thought of all that damned blood all over her furniture but  _oh well_.

“You know who I am, do you?” Ash asked pleasantly.

Celeste flicked her gaze over Ash. The breadth of his shoulders, the length of that fire-colored hair that went down to his chest. The smirk that held a thousand witticisms and that air of arrogance only someone with a title could hold. “I know you have healing abilities that could surpass Thesan himself and yet, you can barely heal one person without getting hurt.”

Ash blinked, completely surprised, and the Spymaster’s son and the Commander burst out laughing. Ash stood slowly and swaggered up to her and gripped her chin. He had a good eight inches on her. “And I suppose you know something about healing, hm? Otherwise you wouldn’t be making such a  _daring_ remark to someone who could stop your heart in a second  _flat_.”

“ _You_  came to  _me_ , remember?” Celeste said airily, going to side step him, to gather supplies.

Ash hooked his fingers in her bicep to stop her from walking away from him. Maybe it was the arrogance of a male or maybe it was the arrogance of a male who wore a  _title_. Ash Acheron Vanserra didn’t take kindly to people dismissing him.

Tough.  _Luck_.

 But the words died in her throat at the sheer intensity of his gaze. No. That wasn’t right. He wasn’t looking at her. He was reading her. He was using that Cauldron Blessed gift of his to read her body, to sense every heartbeat and tell her body would betray.

It was like being stripped bare.

And it made her heart race.

Ash’s brow twitched up and a smile curled on his lips. “I do remember,” he murmured, unhooking his fingers from her arm. “Better get on with it then. Healer.”

Celeste ignored the exchanged whispers between the two dark haired males in the room. And the painful sigh from the Devil’s son. Instead Celeste merely arched a brow and said, “Make yourself usefully and gather a bowl of  _hot_ water. The bigger the bowl the better. I’ll gather my supplies.”

Celeste didn’t wait for his answer as she went gather the gauze and clean rags and scissors from her bedroom. The second she reappeared back into the living area, she was pleasantly surprised to see a bowl of steaming water on the end table.

She sighed deeply at the splotches of water trailing from the kitchen sink, across the floor, and to the makeshift end table, where the bowl was sitting. “Really? Could you make any _more_ of a mess?”

  Ash leaned back against the sofa with his arms strewn across the back. The male shrugged fluidly and drawled, “You asked a blind man to carry a bowl of water. The only one you have to blame, is yourself.”

Celeste scowled, and the Commander cleared his throat and ordered, “Take care of Bay first. I need to know what to expect.”

 Bay.

  That was the Devil’s son’s name, apparently.

Celeste let out a soft breath and steeled her spine and knelt in front of the rather short male. She schooled her features into neutrality and cast a healer’s eye over him as she took his hand into hers and began cleaning it. “Malnourished,” she observed, under her breath. “Underweight. Shows severe signs of recent bodily trauma.”

  “No shit,” Bay muttered.

She elected to ignore that and cocked her head. “You’re shaking. Eyes are dilated and you’re sweating. Have you had any problems with nausea or blood pressure issues?”

  Bay stared at her in silence and Celeste bit back a sigh. Lovely. He was one of those that just  _loved_ not answering questions. So instead, the male with the long black hair and lip ring spoke for him. “David Odium injected him with something. He said no one had survived the withdrawal process.”

Her throat tightened violently and Ash-  _Ash­-_ leaned forward and pressed his forearms on his knees as he studied her face. “What do you know about the drug?” He asked, softly. Though she did not miss the edge of concern in his tone. Whether it was for his friend or for her, she couldn’t tell.

“I know many people have  _died_ ,” She said sharply. Not a flicker of emotion went through Bay’s face, not much of anything did. Ash though, something flickered in those piercing eyes.

“It manipulates mating bonds and any other kind of bond,” Celeste said. Ash’s brows furrowed. “Your body is trying to fight it off but it all depends on your blood, the purity of it.”

“Is there a way to counteract the effects?” Ash asked quietly.

Celeste hesitated and then said, “You could give him the drug, ween him from it. Start administering smaller and smaller doses until his body can handle it without it. Those that have died, have died because their body couldn’t survive the withdrawal process.”              

 _That_ caught Bay’s undivided attention and he yanked his hand out of hers. “Absolutely  _not_ ,” he nearly snarled. “I’m not letting that shit near me again. I’ll die first.”

  Bay went to stand, only for the Commander and the boy with the piercing to grab his shoulders and shove him back down onto the couch. Bay growled low in his throat and it was the first time she had seen any reaction from the male.

  “ _Bay_ ,” The commander said firmly. Bay shot him a look, his hazel-green eyes lit with anxiety. “No one’s going to make you use it, okay? Calm  _down_.”

Bay’s nostrils flared, and he settled back into the couch and drew a knee up to his chest. He let out a soft breath as the black-haired male with the pierced lip leaned closer to Bay and whispered something. Bay closed his eyes and nodded as he pressed his forehead to his knee.

“Relax,” Ash drawled to Bay, his eyes still on her. “What can we do, then?”

“Keep. His heart. Beating,” She said baldly.  “From what I can see from just now, Bay has only been nondependent for maybe seven, eight hours? Most of the warriors lasted maybe twenty-four hours tops. A few managed thirty-six. Their hearts all gave up before they were back to themselves.

“Make sure he has plenty of fluids, though it’ll be hard to keep them down.” She studied his tight shoulders and utterly exhausted features. “You need rest. No training, no fighting. Those shakes will get worse and so will the sweating. You’ll probably get seizures and have extremely lucid dreams.”

 Bay closed his eyes and leaned back against the coach. She could have him stay at her house, just so he could get some sleep or just so she be in reach of him. But by the extent of the wounds and who she suspected was the one to do the damage, Bay needed away from this camp.

When she said as much, Bay didn’t bother opening his eyes as he said, “No.”

“Bullshit,” Ash snapped, his eyes sparking as he glared at Bay. “You’re going home.” Bay didn’t say a word as he ghosted a finger over his shredded hand, blatantly ignoring the exasperation on Ash’s face. “Nate, a little help here.”

  The boy with the black hair-  _Nate_ \- looked at Bay carefully and said, “Can you guys give us a minute?”

The commander looked at her and said, “Can we go into another room, perhaps? I need my hand fixed.”

Celeste nodded as he, Ash and she stood, and she led them back to her bedroom. The little girl was curled up on the bed. She wasn’t sure when the kid snuck all the way back here, but she didn’t mind it.

  Her skin prickled at the Autumn Court heir running a finger over the quilted blanket covering her bed. “It may not be a palace,” she quipped, getting the extra bandages from the desk, “But at least it’s  _mine_.”

  Ash’s piercing eyes flicked up and he came up and curled his fingers around her bicep once more. Ash dipped his head and murmured, “Did I  _say_ anything? Maybe I just like your bedroom.”

 His hand warmed her skin and Celeste knew he was using her magic on her, making her heart beat a little faster. But then he said, “Who was it you lost. Who did David take away from you?” She opened her mouth and Ash held up a finger. “And don’t bother lying to me,” he warned. “I always know when someone speaks an untruth.”

Celeste yanked her arm out of Ash’s grip, or rather he  _let_ her yank her arm out of his grip and she went up to the Commander and knelt in front of him, taking his broad wounded hand into hers.

“My brother,” she whispered. “Dakota was my twin. He was loud and had a mouth that he never watched and that got the attention of the Camp Lord. One day Dakota was being an ass like usual and two days later, Dakota was dead from his heart giving out. I’m not sure if he was lucky or not that he was one of the ones who lasted thirty-six hours.”

Tears pricked behind her eyes and she sent her healing magic though the Commander’s hand. Cracks and the Commander’s hiss filled her ears as the bones snapped in place. The bruises faded away with the more magic she coaxed into the healing. “Why don’t we talk payment?”

* * *

Nate flicked his gaze from Baylor’s closed eyes to his sliced-up trembling hand. He knew why he didn’t want to go home. He knew why his mate would barely look at him. “Where you going to go?” Nate asked.

Baylor shrugged. “Might as well stay here. With David dead, Breanya is the next in line for the camp and she’s too young to run it.”

“What’s your plan? Go to the Illyrian royalty and petition for the job? Say you’ll run it until she reaches of age? I guess that could work. If anyone’s going to be able to run this place, it’s you.”

“I know what you’re doing, Nathaniel,” Baylor said tiredly. “Reverse psychology doesn’t work on me.”

 “If you’re staying here, so am I.”

  Baylor’s eyes snapped open. “You are  _not_ staying here. Go home. It’s where you belong.”

  Nate settled deeper into the couch and put his legs on Baylor’s lap. “I belong wherever you are. If you want me to go home, where  _both_ of our families are, then you will too. Or do you plan on never seeing Aysel again? Or Maze. She will hunt you down and  _kick your ass_  if you don’t go home.”

  Baylor made no move to shove Nate’s legs off himself. He merely closed his eyes and turned his face away from his. Nate sighed deeply and said, “You think you’re the first person in our family to do something unspeakable for someone else? I had Keir tortured and killed, you were there. Maze let Adrien and Cyrian kill her father. Do you think we don’t belong in Velaris?”

  The bond between them shuddered and Baylor didn’t say a word for a long moment. “I killed for him,” Baylor whispered. “I sold myself to him to protect Alyx. I gave myself over to that monster and yet I could only kill one person before I went feral.”

Baylor turned to look at him, those vacant eyes were beyond exhausted. “My mother’s mate is dead because of me. Why should I go back when I am responsible for the death of an innocent?”

Nate’s heart dropped in his chest and he just wanted to kiss away that haunted look on his mate’s face. “So, you think by not coming home, you’re punishing yourself for her death? That’s ludicrous, Baylor. It’s not your fault.”

 Baylor sighed. “Nate-”

 Nate leaned forward and brushed his thumb across the male’s scarred cheek. “Please,” his voice cracked. “Please come home. If you don’t come home, then I’m staying here. You’ll have to kill me to get me to leave.”

Baylor studied him for a moment longer before his eyes fluttered shut. Silence stretched out and just when he thought the male had finally passed out, Baylor mumbled, “Fine.”

Nate couldn’t stop himself from reaching over and pressing his lips to the top of Baylor’s head as he carefully pulled his legs from the male’s lap. Baylor didn’t so much as stir as Nate reluctantly got to his feet and walked back to the bedroom where the others were.

Ash and Cassian looked up expectantly from the bed as Nate leaned against the doorframe with his arms and ankles crossed. “I got him to agree to come back. But he’s passed out on the couch so you’re going to have to carry him.

  Cassian stood from the bed and shouldered his way past him. Ash looked at the healer, something passing his features as he said, “Come back with us. We’re going to need a healer until he at least gets that shit out of his system.”              

The girl’s citrine eyes regarded Ash carefully. Nothing past her pretty face, something Nate associated with the more professional of the healers. Ash’s brow quirked up and a smile twitched up on his lips. “You know you want to. Pretty please?”

It took all the strength he had to not roll his eyes at the idiot.  _Way to be subtle Ash_ , Nate thought.  _I give you a week before you’re on your knees_.

  The girl cocked her head and twisted back her red-gold hair into a braid. “I suppose I should. It’s not like  _you_  can heal him properly.”

  Nate nearly burst out laughing at the blank look on Ash’s face. But when the girl went to walk away, Ash curled his fingers around her arm and leaned forward and said, “Well I guess you can teach me then.”

  Color rose up on the girl’s face and Ash let her go. Ash smirked as he swaggered past them and out of the room. “Straight people,” Nate muttered, shaking his head. “You can’t take them anywhere.”

 The girl snorted and looked at him, those eyes lit and looking far too closely. “I’m assuming you’re Bay’s lover? Or maybe his mate?”

Nate stared at her for a moment and he said, “How did you know?”

  “I have a rather strong sense of smell,” she said lightly. “Your scents are entwined. Plus, the way you were able to calm him down.”

Nate shrugged and said, “He doesn’t know. I don’t want him to know right now. We aren’t exactly together and…”

The girl held up her hands and said, “I get it. I won’t tell him. But you should stick around. You can use the bond to make sure he stays tethered to this world until I can get his heart restarted. Hopefully.”

* * *

Cassian went into the living area to see Bay unconscious on the couch. His heart felt like a lead weight at seeing his  _nephew_ looking so small. But he pushed that thought away and scooped the kid up in his arms.

Bay’s head rested on his chest and he couldn’t remember the last time he held Bay like this. It had to be when the kid was eight. When he found him asleep in the castle library a few days after bringing him home.

Ash and the others came out of the bedroom. Breanya was asleep as well in Nate’s arms and the healer was next to Ash. “She’s coming with us,” Ash informed them.

Cassian looked at Nate and said, “Can you winnow all of us at once?”

Nate flicked his eyes between them all and said, “I’ll come back for Ash and…” he looked at the girl expectantly.

The girl cleared her throat and said, “Celeste.”

  “Celeste,” Nate finished, coming up next to him. “I’ll come back for them. We should go to Hybern. I don’t think Baylor’s ready for Velaris just yet.”

  Cassian nodded and Nate shifted Breanya to his hip and placed a hand on Cassian’s arm and winnowed.


	65. Requiem: Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wind blew at his hair, pulling it from his face, as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and light one between his teeth. His face was closed off, his jaw set as he gazed at the setting sun. She watched him for a silent minute, watched his shadows twist around himself.
> 
> The boy rested his arm on his knee, exhaling smoke as he so very quietly said, “If you’re intent in spying, you’re not going to get far.”
> 
> She felt her face burn as he looked directly in her direction. As if he could see her hidden in the shadows and trees. He pulled his wings in. “But if you want to waste your time,” he said, crushing the cigarette and standing. “You might as well be productive.”
> 
> Before she could process the words, the boy disappeared from atop the roof and appeared inches from her face. She could barely think past his scent filling her nose as he curled his fingers around her arm and yanked her out of her hiding spot.

Deanna slunk through her shadows, keeping her eyes on the boy with hazel gold eyes. The last five days, the boy had gotten up at the crack of dawn and had  _walked_ the three miles to the same place.

That rain and smoke scent hadn’t left her nose. The look of frosted fury in his harsh eyes hadn’t left her veins. And he had let her go. That frosted fury had evaporated.  _Evaporated_. And he let her walk out. But more than that, he would have let her kill him.

She sensed it in her shadows, sensed the self-loathing and bone deep wariness. She couldn’t piece him together.

There was a harshness, an iciness that rivaled her own and he didn’t  _make sense_.

The sun began setting and the boy began walking back through the trees. He made a hard left and went to the cabin. But he didn’t go inside. She took a step forward and felt her eyes widen as the boy unfurled his scarred wings and flew to the top of the small cabin and settled among the shingles.

Wind blew at his hair, pulling it from his face, as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and light one between his teeth. His face was closed off, his jaw set as he gazed at the setting sun. She watched him for a silent minute, watched his shadows twist around himself.

The boy rested his arm on his knee, exhaling smoke as he so very quietly said, “If you’re intent in spying, you’re not going to get far.”

She felt her face burn as he looked directly in her direction. As if he could see her hidden in the shadows and trees. He pulled his wings in. “But if you want to waste your time,” he said, crushing the cigarette and standing. “You might as well be productive.”

Before she could process the words, the boy disappeared from atop the roof and appeared inches from her face. She could barely think past his scent filling her nose as he curled his fingers around her arm and yanked her out of her hiding spot.

* * *

Cameron shoved his hands into his pockets as the Hybern Castle came into view. The small package brushed his fingers as he walked up to the castle doors. The two guards were on alert, focused on him.

The shorter of the two rose her chin and rested her hand on the blade at her side. He refrained from rolling his eyes as she said, “Who are you.”

Cameron gave her a slow, deliberate smile. Her eyes narrowed. “My name is Cameron,” he said. “Bastard, whore. Handsome. The list goes on and on.” Her hand tightened on the pommel at her side. “I suggest you let me in,” he said, leaning forward. “Unless you  _want_ your beloved Baylor to die.” The female had her sword drawn and at his neck in seconds. He didn’t move.

“Right about now, his heart is failing,” he said lightly. “You can either let me in or let that healer try to revive him. Your choice. I’ll wait.”

Confliction warred on the females’ faces. But a moment later, the shorter of the two put her sword back. “Good choice,” Cameron said.

“Watch your tongue before I cut it out,” the shorter of the two growled, stalking up to him and curling her fingers around his bicep.

He grinned at her as she yanked him through the doors. “Promise?”

She didn’t deign him with a response as she pulled him through the long hallways. He took note of the gilded walls and ceiling decorated finely. He also took note of the many guards. He could sense their suspicion and wariness in his shadows.

They got to the end of the hall and stopped abruptly. He could smell Baylor from where he was. Oh how about that, his heart  _did_ stop. Unfortunate. The door was wide open and he spied two males on the bed with a female.

Celeste and-

He assumed were Ash and Nathaniel.

Interesting.

Celeste huddled over Bay’s body, giving him chest compressions. Her eyes lifted to him and she  _nearly_ faltered in her attempts to revive the male before her when the guard said, “This one was at the gates. He said he could help Bay.”

Nathaniel looked over his shoulder, Ash looked up. Both the male’s faces were drawn, their scents charged. Cameron grinned.

Ash snapped his head to Celeste, his gaze flickering. He looked back at him and Nathaniel got to his feet and came up to him. Cameron was just shy an inch shorter than him. Nathaniel’s throat bobbed, his hands trembling. “You can save him?”

He looked the male over. He was fit, stronger than he looked. Tattoos trailing up his arms, piercing in his lip. Almost a perfect specimen. “What would you give me if I said yes?” he purred.

Nathaniel’s throat bobbed. “I would give you anything.”

“Oh?”

Nathaniel’s lips thinned and he had his hand around Cameron’s throat and pinned back to the wall. His airways began closing. His heart sped up as Nathaniel’s teeth bared. Well, hell. This went from fun to suicidal a little too fast. Even for him.

“I want a favor,” he choked out. “You give me that and I’ll save your ex.”

Nathaniel glared at him for a moment before nodding once and letting him go. “Very well,” he said, coldly. “I’ll give you a favor.”

Cameron coughed and regained his composure before pulling out the package of herbs from his back pocket. “Mix these with water and force them down his throat. Agrimony and Astragalus roots. They grew by the base of the Cauldron and will heal anything. Though in the end, it will ultimately be his choice if he comes back. Cure or no cure.”

Nathaniel took the package and gave it to Celeste. He watched Celeste go about doing what he said as Ash kept applying compressions and used his magic. Nathaniel Verrum kept his gaze on him. There was nothing kind on his face, nothing warm. Nothing that he had put in his reports for his father. “How do you know those will work.”

Cameron shoved his hands in his pockets. “Because they worked on me.”

Nathaniel’s eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t aware there were survivors of the drug.”

Cameron laughed. “Do you think David Odium would give an untested drug to his crown progeny without first testing it? All those lives lost to his madness,” Cameron sighed, shaking his head, a smile ghosting his lips. “Good thing I’m smarter than the average male and did my homework. Give my regards to Bay.”

Before he could leave however, Nathaniel’s fingers curled into his arm and he pushed him against the wall. He leaned forward, his dark hair slipping over his shoulders. “You’re not going  _anywhere_. If there’s one thing I’ve learned,” he said, softly. “It’s that the devil has many faces.”

* * *

_An ageless dark surrounded Bay. He felt nothing. No, that wasn’t right. He did feel something. He felt peace. He didn’t hurt. The pain on his face and body was no more and his mind was crystal clear._

He was dead.

_He looked around when suddenly three females and a male appeared before him. Bay took a step back as he looked from glacial blue-grey eyes to hazel-gold to dark brown. Nesta. His mother. Alex. And-_

_The male had long dark brown hair, golden brown skin and was a mountain._

_He looked just like Cassian._

_Baby Cass._

_Bay’s throat tightened and the first thing out of his mouth was, “I’m sorry.”_

_Cass cocked his head and grinned at him. “Why are you apologizing, Brother?”_

_“I didn’t let Ash save you.”_

_Cass laughed quietly, his hazel gold eyes shining. “I was already gone, Bay. You just saved my idiot cousin from himself.”_

_Bay nodded, not trusting his voice. Cass took a step forward and he clasped Bay’s shoulder. “Should you choose to go back,” he said, softly, tears slipping down his cheeks, “Tell my father I love him and tell my sister… tell her I’ll see her around.”_

_Bay nodded and Cass held out a hand. He took it and his brother pulled him into a tight hug. He tried to ignore the fact he barely went up to the male’s shoulder. He took a step back and wiped harshly at his cheek as as his mother took a hesitant step forward._

_More tears slipped down as he silently pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck. She pressed her forehead against his shoulder and sniffed. “You’re so short,” she half laughed, half sobbed._

_A laugh startled out of him and she pulled away. She brushed her thumbs over his cheeks. “My baby,” she whispered, eyes glassy with unshed tears._

_How had he not seen it before? Those eyes, those eyes were exactly like Cassian’s, like Cass’s. That hair, that smile. That light. That fire. Maybe he just hadn’t let himself, didn’t want to let himself piece together that he still had remaining ties. That he wasn’t alone after all. It was easier to carry on with the fewer people who could be used against you._

_“I’m so sorry you had to see me like that,” she whispered. “I tried to get you somewhere safe before I went. But I should have realized with that thick head of yours, you’d find your way back to me.”_

_Heat seared Bay’s cheeks. “I tried putting you to rest,” he said. “But the ground-”_

_“No,” she said. “Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.”_

_“I- I found your journals,” he rushed out. “I know what you did for me and I don’t- I don’t know how to make up for it. I don’t know-”_

_She clasped his face and leaned forward. “You are my_ son _, Baylor. I did what any mother would do. No more, no less. I’d face a thousand David’s for you. The only thing I wish from you, is your happiness.”_

_He stared at her._

_He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve that light or that sacrifice. “I love you,” he whispered. “And I miss you. So much.”_

_She smiled and kissed his brow. “I love you too. Always have, always will.”_

_Alyx came forward then and his legs nearly gave out beneath him. “I’m so sorry, Alyx,” he choked out. “So, so sorry. I couldn’t-”_

_She clasped his face. “It’s not your fault,” she said firmly. “I knew what I was getting into. I told my husband to go with my baby. Do not blame yourself for not being able to murder someone. This is David’s sin and now he’s rotting.”_

_He inhaled sharply and nodded. He tried to believe that. He_ tried _. But the fact remained. If he hadn’t come, she would still be alive to be with her daughter._

_She kissed his brow and then Nesta came forward. Those glacial eyes were bright, her face smooth, her chin raised. “You’re not supposed to be here,” she said quietly. “Your story isn’t finished.”_

_“I’m_ tired _, Nesta.”_

 _She took another step forward and gripped his chin, looking down at him. “You keep your promises,” she said coolly. “The Bay I know would_ never  _break one.”_

_She wiped his tears with her thumb as he nodded. “So chin up,” she said. “Shoulders square. You go one day at a time until you make it or you fake it until it becomes a second nature. One day you will realize,” she said. “That you made it and you made it because of yourself.”_

_“You will train, you will fight because you don’t know how to not to,” she said, her eyes bright and fierce. “I want you to make one more promise. I want you to forgive yourself. You are a_ child  _and the world is not yours to bare.”_

_His throat tightened. Could he? He didn’t know he would be able to do as she asked but she was right. She was right he didn’t break promises and he would be damned before he dared break another promise to Nate._

_Her stare bore into him, no trace of kindness on her face other than the brightness of her eyes. He’d keep his promise to Nate. He’d keep that promise to keep fighting because he would never be able to walk away from Nate twice._

_But this promise. This one. Could he forgive himself? Was he actually capable of it? There was just so much red in the ledger, so much blood on his hands. So much heartache he was responsible for. “Maybe someday,” he said, quietly._

_She held his gaze for a heartbeat and the another and another before pulling him into a hug. He hooked his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead against her shoulder. He missed her. He missed all of them. So much._

_“Did you know?” he asked._

_Nesta pulled back and looked at him. “I suspected. But I wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to get either yours or Cassian’s hopes up with something I didn’t have proof for.” Bay stared at her and she said, “There were times. You’re so strong, despite being so undertrained. That same fire. But I knew you didn’t want to talk about your family or where you came from, so I let it go.”_

_He nodded. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” he said. “Thank you for taking in a stubborn illiterate orphan who fought you and Cassian every step of the way. For giving me a fighting chance.”_

_The smallest of smiles ghosted her lips and she nodded once. “Of course,” she said. “You go back and I better not see you here again. You live.”_

_“I’ll do my best.” She squeezed his hand as he whispered, “I won’t let her forget about you. I’ll make sure Aysel knows about you.” Tears slipped down the female’s cheeks and Bay brushed them away with his thumb. “I’ll protect her.”_

_Nesta nodded and she opened and closed her mouth a moment before saying, “Goodbye, Bay.”_

_“Goodbye.”_

_They all looked at him for a moment longer before one by one disappearing into the darkness. His mother) smiled and mouthed, “I love you,” before she too disappeared, leaving him alone._

_Bay let out a breath and turned around and took a step._

* * *

Adrien tugged the girl out of the shadows and to the clearing. He had felt her watching him, spying on him for nearly a week. He’d be insulted if she hadn’t been trying so damned hard to stay hidden from him.

He looked her over carefully. She was in a jacket and pants, her long black curly hair pulled back into a tight braid. A set of hoops were in her delicately pointed ears. Her startling eyes were carefully guarded as she studied him, her face neutral.

Adrien tucked his wings in and said, “I don’t have anyone to train with so you’re going to train with me.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’ve been itching for a fight since the moment you saw me.” Her lips thinned. Adrien knelt and pulled the blade from her boot and grinned. “Was I wrong?”

The girl’s nostrils flared and she took the blade from his hand and tried shoving him off balance. Adrien planted himself and curled his fingers around her ankle and  _yanked._

She nearly fell on her face, but twisted and landed on her haunches and she bared her teeth, inches from his face. “Nobody likes a know it all.”

Adrien regarded her carefully, not letting a flicker showing in his face. “You might very well be the first person to accuse me of that,” he said quietly, standing.

The girl stood then and said, “If we’re sparing, where’s your weapon?”

Adrien arched a brow. “I  _am_ a weapon. As you well know.”

Nothing passed her face. Any amusement she bore was only shown in his shadows. She was still as a stone, a calming presence that he couldn’t piece together.

Her eyes lowered from his as she took in the scope of his frame.

While all Illyrians were fit, he spent an ungodly amount of time training, if only to drain his emotions. And it showed.

“Very well,” she said, after a long moment. She dropped her blade to the ground and shrugged off her dark jacket and threw that to the ground as well. Showing a cropped top that hugged her skin and revealed her toned body. “No blades.”

Oh good. She’d be able to make him sweat.

They started off slow. She met him block for block, hit for hit. Adrien fell into an easy rhythm, narrowly missing the elbow to his face.

Sweat slipped between his shoulder blades as he maneuvered with ease, not pulling punches and not letting her get a single hit in. She was so  _fast_ , he never connected with flesh, she always blocked.

Her shadows twisted around her as his did around him. He’d never fought against a shadowsinger that wasn’t related to him. She was fast, agile and a whirlwind of fists, feet and shadows.

Up until he had her pinned to a tree.

His chest heaved, his heart going a mile a minute and seemed to only speed up as she looked up at him. Her scent filled his nose and his mouth went dry. He took an abrupt step back.

“Thanks,” he said, and turned around.

He made it five feet before she breathlessly said, “Wait.”

He stopped and turned his head. “ _What_.”

“Don’t I at  _least_  get a name?” She demanded, a sharp whetted edge to her voice.

“No.”

And he continued walking.

* * *

 

Ash nearly vomited at the rush of  _relief_  going through him when he heard the soft thrum of Bay’s heart start back up.

Celeste let out a soft breath and pulled back from Bay’s body and he sensed her check for further wounds when she said, “He’s okay. He’ll be okay.”

He reached forward and clasped her face and kissed her deeply on the lips and said, “ _Thank you_.”

Her skin warmed beneath his fingers and she cleared her throat. He let her go but could still smell the surprise on her. “You- You’re welcome,” she said, slipping off the bed. “I’m just doing my job.”

He could almost hear Nate’s eye roll, but his cousin just knelt next to Bay’s sleeping form and whispered, “You came back.”

“He’ll be okay,” Celeste said. “That poison is gone and whatever Cameron gave him, it helped.”

“Who  _was_ that?” Ash asked.

Something like fear and disdain rose in Celeste’s scent. “Someone you should be  _very_ careful with. I wasn’t aware that David had used that drug on him. I had thought he’d draw the line at using something so volatile on his own blood but I should have known better.”

“ _What_?” Ash gaped, fire roiling in his veins. “Are you saying-”

“Yes,” Celeste said. “Cameron is your friend’s brother.”

“Oh nice,” Ash said flatly, slipping off the bed. “Bay has another psychopath for a relative.”

“He’s  _not_ a psychopath,” Celeste said. Ash merely rose his brow and she said, “He wouldn’t have helped Bay if he were. He’s nowhere near as bad as his father. He has a heart.”

Ash went up to her and brushed her hair over her shoulder. He heart her heart pick up in her chest as he leaned forward. “Is that so,” he murmured. “You sound like you know him very well, Healer. Were you lying to us when you said you were the only one who could heal Bay? Maybe you just wanted to give  _Cameron_ a foothold into Bay’s household.”

“No,” she clipped out. “I was the one who helped heal his back when his wings were  _carved off_.”

Ash blinked and blinked again as he stepped back. “I see.”

He sensed her shake her head and lean forward and whisper, “You’re adorable when you’re jealous, Your Highness. Though you should not get used to me being okay with it.”

And she turned on her heel and walked out.

Nate whistled. “You’re an idiot, Ash. I thought you gingers had some semblance of an intelligence.”

“Shut up,” Ash huffed, and went after her.

* * *

 

Deanna leaned back against the tree and sighed. She hadn’t expected the sparing or the boy being able to sense her in her shadows. She hadn’t planned for things to get so intense or for him to be able to pin her back against the tree.

His face, his eyes were so heated, so dark, his scent so charged but then- it just stopped. The ice had come back and he walked away from her as if she were no more than the tree she was pinned against.

“So,” a voice said, loudly.

She bit back her groan and said, “What do you want, Nina.”

Her sister plopped down beside her and said, “I saw youuu. That half-breed you were sparing with. You liiike him.” Deanna gave her a withering glare and Nina said, “If he hadn’t walked away, you would have had sex with him. I’m not judging. He was fiiine.”

“I would not.”

Nina poked her. “You have been spying on that boy for the last six days, Dea. You wouldn’t have put in the effort if you weren’t at least a  _little_ interested.” Deanna opened her mouth to argue when Nina cut her off. “No. If you thought he was a threat, you would have cut him to pieces that first day.”

Deanna scowled. “Be as it may,” she said, shooting her sister a glare. “Something about him just.. doesn’t make sense. So-”

“So,” her sister finished for her. ‘You’re going to get into Mister Tall Dark and Brooding’s head to find your missing details.”

She nodded.

* * *

 

Cameron closed is eyes and tipped his head back against the wall. He could hear the others whispering among themselves about what to do with him. He hadn’t thought much about what would happen once he got foothold in the palace.

He remembered talking to Bay during those few days, remembered that rage that was in the male’s bones. He remembered sitting down in the cells with him, talking to him out of sheer curiosity. Bay had not once asked him to let him go. He must have known it would have been fudel. Cameron did not disobey his father’s orders.

The door opened and suddenly the Spymaster and the Commander were in front of him. Cameron lifted his chin and grinned. “Hello.” Azriel’s brows narrowed and Cameron said, “I’m not the bad guy, here.”

Cassian’s brows narrowed and he came forward. “You expect me to believe you helped my son out of the goodness of your heart?” he asked softly.

“Cauldron no,” Cameron laughed. “I helped him because he slit David’s throat. Goodness gets you nowhere other than a sharp pain in the back.”

Azriel and Cassian exchanged looks and Cassian knelt in front of him. “Let’s have a talk.”

* * *

A knock sounded at the door and Celeste answered it. She found Ash waiting, hands bracing the frame as he looked down at her. She folded her arms over her chest and Ash said, “I wasn’t being jealous.”

She arched a brow, “Oh? Then what  _were_ you being?”

A slow grin spread on Ash’s lips as he dropped his head and laughed. “I was being protective of my brother, Healer. You’re adorable thinking I’d feel threatened by a male I didn’t even know.”

Her cheeks warmed and she took a step back as he stepped forward. He kept walking until she hit her back against the wall. Ash pressed a hand to the wall, his eyes starting to glow as he looked her over. A full, lazy grin split his face. “ _That_ is my shirt.”

She stopped herself from looking down at the shirt that was  _in fact_ Ash’s. It hung loose on her and went to her knees. She had one of his belts on to make it into a dress of sorts. “I didn’t have any clothes with me,” she said lamely.

Ash arched a brow. “We’re in a castle,” he said. “I’m royalty, Cassian is the King. Hell, even Nate is Bay’s mate. All you had to do,” he whispered, leaning forward, “was ask.”

Ash’s scent filled her nose as his lips brushed hers. It was remarkably easy, opening for him, letting his fingers brush down her side, resting on her hips. She hooked her arms around his neck, tugging him deeper against her.

She wondered, she wondered not for the first time what it must be like, to be someone who had such enhanced senses, if just the smallest touch was as intense as something normal for her.

She felt his broad hand brush the hem of the shirt, felt it slide up her thigh, as his tongue seamed her lips and dart inside her mouth. His skin was so warm, his weight on hers-

It felt like being made and unmade and starlight all at once.

He slowly pulled apart from her, his eyes bright as he said, “ _That_ should have been our first kiss. Celeste.”

* * *

 

Hours later, Deanna slipped inside the small cabin. She quietly went up to the sleeping male and knelt in front of him. His face was smoothed out, his long lashes framing his cheeks, his black hair falling into his eyes.

Despite the calm, serene look to his features, his shoulders were wound, sweat beaded his temple and his fingers dug into the sheets. Deanna closed her eyes and delved deep into his mind.

_The mountain was dark, cold and filled with fighting and screams. Deanna walked for what felt like forever before she found him._

_The boy pulled at restraints, baring his teeth, chest heaving as he glared up at a mirror reflection of himself. Deanna could see blood spilling past his side, see a wound at his temple, see his wings nearly_ shredded _._

_“I’m not afraid of you,” he growled._

_His reflection grinned broadly and patted his cheek. “Oh Adrien,” he said softly, his black eyes gleaming. “Of course you aren’t. You’re never rightfully afaid are you? Always so angry, so righteous in your fury. But never genuinely afraid.”_

_The boy’s_ -  _Adrien’s- lips thinned. “Fuck you.”_

_His reflection changed into a beautiful woman with dark skin and curly hair. “Have you forgotten about me already?” She said, softly._

_Pure agony blinked across Adrien’s face, his eyes turning glassy. He swallowed visibly and Deanna put a hand on the woman’s shoulder and shattered her. “_ Enough _,” she said._

_She went over and shattered the restraints holding him in place. Adrien dropped like a stone and she knelt in front of him. He didn’t move. He didn’t lift his head or acknowledge her presence as his forehead kissed the stone ground beneath them. A broken sob sounded in the bottom of his throat._

_Deanna refrained from touching him. Her shadows picked up such nauseating emotions and she almost regretted coming in here, into his head. But- she got what she needed. She got what she wanted._

_She felt the dream begin to shake and she knew Adrien was waking up._

Deanna opened her eyes and Adrien’s own eyes were snapped open, he had her pinned to the floor and a blade at her throat before she could even have a chance to move. There were so only so many people who could move faster than her.

A snarl tore from behind Adrien’s teeth and he was inches from her face, breathing heavy. “Don’t  _ever_ ,” he said, so very quietly, “go in my head again. You have no right to see things that do not pertain to you. Do it again and we’re going to have a serious problem.”

She tried to ignore the fact he wasn’t wearing anything. “How else am I supposed to learn anything,” she asked, trying to shove him back. “You wouldn’t even tell me your name.”

Adrien’s face didn’t move, his body didn’t move an inch; he was as solid as a stone wall. His gaze was pure ice, that blade still resting deftly in his fingers. He could easily kill her if he wanted. “It’s none of your fucking business,” he said, coldly. “Get. Out.”  _Or I will make you leave_.

Deanna opened and closed her mouth, her apology on the tip of her tongue, but the harsh lines of Adrien’s face had her swallowing it and getting to her feet. He wouldn’t want an apology, he just wants her gone.

Deanna walked out of the cabin.

* * *

 

Bay slowly blinked his eyes open and groaned, “ _Nesta_.”

He felt a dip in the bed and he looked to see Nate sitting beside him, his dark eyes bright and swallowing him whole. Bay struggled up into a sitting position and Nate buried his face in Bay’s neck. “You came back,” he murmured.

He felt his face warm and he pressed his face into Nate’s shoulder. “Of course I came back,” he murmured. “ I made you a promise. But- how?” Nate pulled back, face blanking over and Bay straightened, “What?”

“What do you know about a male named Cameron?”

Bay blinked and he blinked again before he threw the sheets off him and got off the bed. Lightness slammed in his head and he staggered a step. He gathered his strength and said, “ _Where is he_.”

Nate hooked his arm around Bay’s waist and tugged him close. Darkness wrapped around them and he winnowed them in front of a room in the lower part of the castle. A snarl built up in Bay’s throat as he pushed the door open and walked past Cassian and Azriel to the male that was sitting on the floor.

And he decked him.

A cut split Cameron’s tan cheek and the bastard had the nerve to  _grin at him_. Bay bared his teeth. “What kind of sick joke is this?” he demanded. “You wouldn’t let me go then, you save my life, now. What the  _hell_.”

Cameron stood up and he towered over him. His dark hair was now light, a shade darker than his own. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned forward. “You’re welcome.”

Bay shoved him back against the wall. “Why shouldn’t I kill you?” he said in a deathly quiet. “Why should  _you_ get to live?”

Cameron’s pale eyes glittered and lifted behind Bay. “Because your ex lover promised to not let anyone, including you, kill me. Isn’t that right, Nathaniel. I know all about you Verrums and your promises. You all keep your word.” He looked back at Bay and it took everything to not wipe the smug look off his face. “ _You’re welcome_ ,” he said, again.

A low, quiet snarl built up in his throat and he curled his fingers into tight fists and shot Nate a dark glare. “ _Seriously.”_

Nate met him look for look, his pretty face revealing nothing other than an arched brow as he folded his arms over his chest. “Damn straight,” he said, his words whetted with steel. “I would do it all over again too. He  _saved_ you and I would have given anything to make sure you came back.”

Heat rose furiously in Bay’s cheeks and he heard Cameron click his tongue. “Awe.”

Bay took a step towards him and Nate tugged him back. “You’re making it very difficult to keep you alive,” Nate told Cameron. “I suggest stopping while you’re ahead before I look the other way.”

Cameron’ smile never left his face, blood spilling steadily from the cut. He merely looked at Bay, a deep daring in his eyes. Daring him to try to kill him, to break Nate’s promise. As much as he wanted to  _kill him_ , he’d never put Nate in that position.

He shook his head. “You’re so lucky you got Nate’s word, otherwise I’d end you.”

“Even though I  _saved_  you?” he asked lightly.

Bay took a step forward and said quietly, “There is no life debt here. You saved me for your own reasons, you let him carve me apart. We’re well past even. Brother.”

Finally-  _finally_ \- that fucking smile disappeared. “You know.”

“Oh, I know,” Bay said, with a dead laugh. “If you think that saves you, it doesn’t.”

He turned around and stalked out of the room.

* * *

Nate watched Cameron slip down back onto the floor and run his thumb over the cut on his cheek stick it in his mouth. He  _looked_ like high fae, had the delicately pointed ears and ethereal beauty they all did. But what was also an Illyrian. An Illyrian who, for some reason, had his wings taken.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Nate said, softly. “If you hurt him,  _I’ll_ end you.”

Cameron closed his eyes and laughed a sharp, almost sad laugh. “You know,

Nathaniel,” he said. “I have been watching you and my brother for years. Always reporting his weaknesses, his interests. His illnesses.” Nate frowned and Cameron waved him off. “It was my  _job_. I either spied on him or I outlive my usefulness. I was just hte first step in his experiments. But Bay, he was the result.” He laughed. “And now he’s dead. My father was killed by his own experiment.”

“That’s why you helped him, isn’t it.”

Cameron looked at him, his eyes gleaming. Shadows wreathing him. “I have done my fair share of dasterdous deeds, but I have never taken the life of my own blood. One hundred and twenty-two years with that male and I couldn’t do it. But he could. So I helped.”

* * *

Adrien never went back to bed. He stayed awake, smoked cigarettes and thought about the dream again and again. He was prone to unpleasant dreams but that was the first time he had seen Maze. He tried to not piece together  _why_  he saw her or why the  _hell_  that girl thought it would be okay getting in his dreams. SHe was lucky- so very lucky- he didn’t kill her. Something stayed his hand and he let her go.

He let out a sigh and got ready and started the long walk to the settlement. A few of the females were up, walking about and they all passed wary looks to him.

He ignored his shadows and went to work.

Hours of lifting and sawing and building went by before a female came up to him. He stopped and straightened and looked at her. Startling eyes and straightened black hair and she couldn’t be any older than sixteen. This girl was related to the one who had been spying on him.

He folded his arms and frowned. “What the hell do you want.”

She grinned fully. “I’m Nina.”

“And I don’t care,” he said, going to walk around her.

She appeared in front of him. “Obviously you have the same social skills as my sister,” she said. “Deanna meant well, you know.”

That made him stop. “I don’t care  _what_ she meant. She, you,  _anyone_ does not get the right to get in my head. She’s lucky I didn’t kill her.”

“Why didn’t you?” She asked sharply. “You had a blade to her throat, had your teeth bared. You could have ripped her to pieces last night.  _Why didn’t you_.”

He gazed at her in silence and she arched a brow. “Oh. Oh how very interesting. You sir are a very broody half breed.” His brows flattened and she held up her hands. “I apologise. Don’t meet many of your kind in Hybern, I’m afraid.”

“Well,” He said, coolly. “Maybe start with not calling us  _half-breeds.”_

A brilliant flush rose up in the girl’s cheeks. “Sorry.” Adrien made a sound in his throat and she had the nerve to hook her arm around his neck. “We’re gonna be friends, Mr. Broody.”

“No,” he said, unhooking her arm. “We’re not. Is there a reason you need to be bugging me? I’m fucking  _busy_.”

She frowned and said, “You haven’t talked to anyone other than my sister in the last two and a half weeks, Adrien.”

He blinked. “How do-,” he started. Then he stopped. “The dream. Peachy. You find out anything else through that violation or are you just keen on  _annoying_  me into getting details.”

She arched a groomed brow. “I’d be insulted if I didn’t know you were  _trying_  to piss me off.” She took a step forward and said, “You’re trying to keep everything good away from you and I know it because Deanna does the same thing. Both of you need to knock that shit off.”

Adrien stared at her in silence for a heartbeat. “Alright. Fine.” Her bright smile returned and he sighed. “Help me bring these 4 x 4’s across camp. Without winnowing or magic. Then we’ll start with a clean slate.”

She stared at the stack of wood- which would take hours to carry- and then up at him. “Absolutely.”

* * *

 

Bay went to find Cassian and found him in Aysel’s room, on the floor with both the princess and with Bree, who was sprawled out and coloring. She had been changed into a simple light dress and leggings, her black hair lightly curled and unbound.

She was humming.

Aysel sat by herself, playing with a cloth book- or more like  _chewing_ on it. Bay frowned. Cassian looked up at him, his face carefully neutral as Bay came in and sat down next to them. Cassian looked at him for a long moment before saying, “Nate said when you woke up you said Nesta’s name.”

Cassian’s throat bobbed and Bay nodded as he pulled his knees up to his chest. “She was there- wherever I went.” Cassian’s eyes were so bright, so  _bright_  and tears slipped down as Bay said, “So was he.”

“What did he look like?” Cassian asked quietly.

“You. Exactly like you.”

Cassian carefully ran his hands through his hair and Aysel looked up from her destruction of her book and looked directly at her father. Bay waited for the psychic pain but she merely dropped the book and crawled over to her father and climbed into his lap.

She was so tiny compared to the might that was Cassian, but he looked so close to crumbling. Aysel got up on her feet and pressed her palms to Cassian’s cheeks and kissed his nose. She was rather acute for a fourteen month old.

Cassian choked on a laugh and kissed the top of Aysel’s curly head, but Aysel plopped back down in his lap and reached for the book she was chewing on. Bay sighed. “How are we related?”

Cassian snorted and Bree sat up and looked at him. Right. His sister. Which meant- she was Cameron’s sister. There was no way in hell he was letting that bastard anywhere near her. He realized he was staring at her when she said, “You okay?”

He blinked. “I’m fine,” he rushed out. Bree arched her brows and Bay said, “Why don’t you go down to the kitchen and get some snacks. I need to talk to Cassian.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Yes,” Bay said.

She pouted but got to her feet and nearly skipped out of the room. Bay waited until he sensed her gone before looking at Cassian. “Thank you for watching her.”  
  
Cassian arched a brow. “She’s family. Of course I did.”

“What did you find out about him.”

Cassian’s face blanked over and Aysel smacked his knee. “He’s over a century old and does David’s dirty work for him. Whether that’s killing someone or bedding them for information. He’s not too well liked at the camp and has a reputation. Az thinks he’s the reason Zevakyn was saved.”

“Hmph.” Bay wrapped his arms around his leg and pressed his forehead against his knee. He remembered those days with Cameron all too well. He didn’t draw blood on him, but he tormented him nonetheless. Baited him, teased him. Taunted him.

“What do you want to do?” Cassian asked.

 _I want to kill him_. “I don’t want him anywhere near Bree. Or Aysel.”

“Done.”

Bay palmed his eyes. “They were there- they were all there. Nesta, Cass, Alyx, Mom,” His voice broke on the last word. Bay’s throat tightened violently and Aysel crawled over to him sat next to him. “Nesta knew. Or at least suspected.”

Cassian looked at him for a moment before closing his eyes. “Of course she did.”

“She said that she didn’t want to bring it up, that she wasn’t sure and didn’t have proof. And that she knew I didn’t want to talk about my family, so she let it go.”

Cassian nodded and Bay said, “I’m sorry Cassian. I’m so sorry for the shit I have said and that I have done. I should never had- I just-” He took a breath. “Thank you. For everything that you have done for me. Thank you. I am- very grateful for all of it.”

Cassian leaned forward and gripped Bay’s shoulder. “You’re a  _kid_. Bay. That means you can act like a brat all you want. You have been stubborn since day one and I have never thought you weren’t grateful and have never regretted taking you in. Besides, once Nate got a look at you, there was no way you weren’t not joining this family without him throwing a conniption fit. Ash too for that matter.”

Bay’s face warmed. “Cass was so  _tall_ ,” he said quietly. “I think he would have been a great warrior. A good son.”  _Better than me_. “I’m so sorry you lost him, Cassian. I wish I could have somehow brought him back with me. All of them. You shouldn’t have to know this kind of heartache.”

Cassian sighed quietly, tears slipping down his face as he went to pick Aysel up and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Neither should you,” he said. Cassian looked down at his daughter, who was still chewing on her book and the smallest smile titled up on Cassian’s lips as she looked at her father. “Neither should you.”

Aysel responded by smacking his face.

* * *

Deanna spent the next week and a half watching Nina and Adrien bicker while doing heavy manual labor from her shadows. Then she and Adrien sometimes sparred and she left, much to her sister’s annoyance. They barely spoke but it was a comfortable silence and she enjoyed it.

For the first time in a while, she felt herself start to smile.

He was obviously just as exasperated with Nina’s overly bubbly behavior as she was but she sensed his amusement. Her little sister tended to be… a lot to handle. He must have had practice dealing with meddling siblings.

The sun began to set and Nina said, “Well Adrien, it’s time for me to go home. Papi is probably wondering where I’ve been all day. Byeee.”

She got up on her toes and kissed Adrien’s cheek and then winnowed. Adrien wiped it off on his shoulder and shook his head as he started walking back to the cabin.

Nina appeared in front of her and tugged her out of her shadows. “If you don’t make your move on him,  _estúpida_ , I will gut you myself,” Nina hissed. “Look at my  _nails.”_

“It was your own fault for meddling,” Deanna retorted, cutting her sister a dry look. “I can get boys - and girls- on my own, thank you.”

Nina scoffed and folded her arms. “Then why haven’t you made a move on him, yet?”

She didn’t deign that with a response. “Go home. I’ll see you later.”

“I better not,” Nina huffed.

But she winnowed.

Deanna stepped back into her shadows and she followed after Adrien. He had his head bowed, a cigarette between his teeth as he walked through the trees. She couldn’t help but study the breadth of his wings; the sharp talons that cut through the air. So perfectly lethal.

She silently followed him for the three miles and when he stopped at the cabin door, he crushed the cigarette in a bowl of sand and said, “Either leave or join me. I’m taking a shower.”

And he went inside.

She blinked and then followed him. She looked around at the pure  _cleanliness_. It was almost compulsive. But she paid that no mind as she walked down the hallway to the washroom.

The shower was going and Adrien was pulling apart the laces at his abdomen. He lifted his eyes to her and then arched a brow. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

Deanna pulled her shirt off and said, “Yes you did.”

His eyes crinkled and then lowered to her chest and he stepped forward. His nose brushed her neck as his rough hands brushed her scar flecked skin before going to the laces at her hips and pulling.

She felt him smile against her skin and let him tug her pants down, let him uncloth her and himself and tug her into the shower. He tugged her hair out of her braid and watched the curls fall around her shoulders and down her back before brushing them to the side. Adrien pressed her to the shower wall, his lips going back to her neck, her throat. He pinned her wrist back against the wall as the hot water beat down on them.

He pulled back from her, his chest rising and falling steadily as he pulled his damp bangs out of his eyes. They were so heated, solemn, almost glowing. “You sure?”

His voice was breathless, quiet, as if he were waiting for her to leave. Not even she was that cruel. “If I wasn’t,” she said, firmly, “I would never have walked in that door.”

He smiled, truly smiled. His eyes bright in the Fae light. His hands fell to her waist, his lips going back to the line of her throat. His wings flared and he tucked them in tight as his lips parted to sink into her flesh.

Deanna’s eyes closed and she groaned, her nails digging into his back as his teeth sunk deeper, harsher, into a claiming. His scent burned through her nose. That smoke and rain filled her veins, her entire body as he ground against her.

His hardness brushed against her as he brought his lips to hers. He took her face in his rough hands, his tongue slipping into her mouth and he had her pressed solidly to the wall at the first caress of tongue against hers.

She found herself pushing back into the kiss, into his mouth. She wanted more of his scent in her nose, wanted more of his body against hers. Adrien compiled, so easily. His fingers curled around the back of her neck as he pushed into the kiss in a way that would definitely bruise her lips.

Not that she particularly cared.

He groaned into her mouth as she lowered her hand down his chest to wrap her fingers around his cock. His breath shuddered, his fingers curling tighter in her soaking hair as she started stroking him.

Both their shadows disappeared and Deanna marveled at it. He had seemed to be more shadow than boy when she first saw him. His shadows had been so dark, as dark as hers and maybe- maybe that was why she had spared him.

He pulled her hand away and pinned her back to the shower wall. His fingers dug into her shoulders as he dipped his head and those eyes met hers. His chest heaved, his eyes were blown out and Deanna merely rose a brow.

She tried to not show how much his focus was thoroughly undoing her. But her chest rose and fell, her breath pulled from her lungs and the smallest of smirks ghosted his lips as his eyes lowered, lowered, and lowered and then slowly lifted backup, mapping and memorizing every edge and curve of her body.

He flipped her over and her palms braced the shower wall as he ran his hand down her side and lined up to bury himself inside her. She nearly whimpered at the fullness. He palmed her breasts, his lips going back to her neck as he thrusted his hips forward.

Deanna found herself tilting her head, giving him more access to her throat and groaned deeply as his teeth once again sunk into her flesh. Hard.

She sensed his arousal, sensed it sharpen as she groaned. Heat coined in her veins, pressure built in her clit and she lowered her hand, to just- to let herself get off when Adrien curled his fingers around her wrists and kept her hands pinned to the wall. “No,” he almost growled against her skin.

She nearly snarled-  _snarled_ \- but then he said, “Let me.”

He released her wrists, his shadows replacing his hands, and her head feel back against his chest as his hand lowered to brush against her clit. Her head went static and her cries were drowned out by the shower as her release shattered through her.

Yes.  _Yes_.

His fingers dug into her thighs, his teeth into her shoulder and his scent- So grounding, so calming and yet she felt as if she were going to tumble off the edge of the world. She hooked her fingers into the back of his neck and his lips crushed hers.

She could taste the blood on his tongue- her blood- but it was drowned out by Adrien slamming into her once more. Deanna pushed him back- or rather he  _let_ her push him back and she turned and put her hands on his shoulders and lowered him to the ground.

Adrien’s back hit the corner of the shower and she straddled his hips and guided his cock back into her. Her hands splayed his chest, his own hands skimming up her back and she looked at the long plane of his throat.

So perfect- too perfect. Unmarred, unscarred. A deep rich brown from the days upon days in the sun. Her chest heaved, her teeth ached and Adrien- he just bared his throat. She met his eyes, so solemn, so blown out and pure want was in his scent, etched on his face. He  _wanted_ her to bite him.

“Do it,’ he rasped.

She dug her fingers into his shoulders and lowered to sink her teeth into his throat. She felt him fist her hair, heard him groan. Deanna rocked into him, his cock slipping more into her as her teeth sunk deeper.

Blood filled her mouth and a moan built in her throat at the taste. She could get lost in this, so easily. In his taste, his feel; his hands roaming her body, his teeth in her skin. More. She wanted  _more_.

Her body sang as she ground herself against him and moved to kiss him harshly on the mouth. A part of her wondered what she would be doing now, if she had done what she had originally set out when she saw the Boy with the Shadows in her family’s woods. If she had put her dagger in his flesh, had killed him.

She threw the thought away as his fingers brushed down her back, her ass, around her thighs, going back to the apex between her thighs. She groaned into Adrien’s neck as her release shattered through her.

He hooked his massive arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck and nearly sobbed as he found his own and came inside her. The only sound was their shared breath and the showerhead.

Adrien didn’t move and Deanna ran her fingers through his hair and tugged his head back. He looked up at her in silence and he moved to brush a calloused thumb across her cheek. His shadows had returned, crawling up the wall behind him. She turned into his hand and then lowered to his lips in a soft kiss.

“That’s probably the most fun I’ve had in the shower in a long time,” Adrien said hoarsely. Deanna snorted and a small smile ghosted his face. “I bet you’re glad you didn’t kill me now, huh?”

She splayed her hand on his chest and leaned forward. “Don’t tempt me,” she said.

His brows shot up and that damned smile turned cocky as he wetted his lips and pinched her ass. She nearly squeaked and he laughed, loud enough to sound off the walls. “Miss Alanis,” he said, brushing a proprietary hand up her thigh. “I’d never.”

Deanna shuddered at the touch of his calousses. “What all has Nina told you?”

His eyes crinkled and he leaned forward. “You’ve been watching me,” he said, lips brushing hers. “Why don’t you tell me?”

She elected to ignore that and kissed him back.

* * *

Afterlong, Adrien pulled Deanna up on her feet and had her pinned back to the wall. He brushed his nose along her neck, her throat; inhaling her scent deeply. Rosewood and oranges. It was… Intoxicating.

He sunk his teeth in her skin before he even had the chance to reconsider. A deep intrinsic part of himself latched onto the taste of her blood and he felt his cock twitch in response. His wings flared, his fingers dug into the small of her back and he barely heard her groan.

His teeth sunk deeper, more blood coating his mouth and his eyes closed at the taste and smell of arousal in her scent. His heart slammed in his chest and he was so sure it would break apart his ribs.

Adrien felt her fingers ghost up his back and he nearly collapsed as her fingers brushed the base of his wings. He panted into her neck and her fingers yanked back.Those startling eyes looked up at him. Alarmed. “That,” he said, breathlessly. “Is  _sensitive_.”

Her brows shot up and she looked back at his wings. He could smell her curiosity- and an almost wicked delight- as she bit at her lip. Her fingers curled into balls and she was keeping herself from touching them. She flicked her gaze back to him. “I’ve never met anyone with wings before.”

Adrien found himself transfixed and unfurling his wings and drawing them in closer. She traced a finger up the spine of one, tracing the thin scar that went through and he dropped his head onto her shoulder, breath shuddering at the light caress.

“It’s so soft,” she said, just above the shower head. “What does it feel like?”

Adrien pulled back and looked down at her. Her face was open, genuinity coloring her features. He brushed his shadows along her neck and she trembled. “Like that,” he said.

Her eyes snapped back to his wings and a small smile ghosted her lips. “Interesting.”

Adrien snorted and reached behind her for a rag and bottle of soap. He lathered up the rag, his gaze never straying from hers and she arched into the touch as he began washing her. Adrien slipped the rag down her back, his nose brushing her neck.

That scent- that intoxicating scent- filled his nose as washed her body, her hair. Between nips and bites and kisses, Adrien managed to get every inch of her muscular body clean. He about had the rag to his own body when she curled her fingers around his wrist and said, “No.”

He arched a brow and she said, “Let me.”

He blinked back his surprise and handed her the rag. Adrien braced the wall as she began washing him so thoroughly- so carefully. Her finger ghosted over the thick scar wrapping around his side and he waited for her to ask where he got it, but she never asked. Just continued to wash him.

She brought the rag to his wings and he was nearly reduced to a mess of hormones and sensations on the shower floor. But she finally had every part of him washed and they were out of the shower.

Adrien grabbed a towel and gave it to her and another for himself. He had it hooked around his hips as he followed her through the cabin and found himself leaning against the doorframe while she dug into his bag and pulled on one of his shirts. It went down to her knees.

A deep,  _deep_ primal part of himself revelled at the sight. She looked over her shoulder at him and said, “Aren’t you going to get dressed?” Adrien continued to stare at her when her cheeks pinked. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

He lost the battle with his self control and went up to her. “I like seeing you in my scent,” he murmured, brushing his fingers along her arm, leaving a wake of gooseflesh. “It makes me happy.”

She looked up at him, completely bewildered. “Who talks like you?” He felt himself start to smile and he leaned down to kiss her. She hooked her arms around his neck, got up on her toes and pushed back into the kiss. She pulled back, those startling eyes flicking up to his. “Are you going to get dressed?”

He arched a brow. “Do you  _want_ me to get dressed?” She scrunched up her face and smacked his chest. He grinned. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Deanna scowled at him and Adrien hooked his arms beneath her knees and picked her up. Her legs hooked around her hips so easily- so  _easily_ \- and it only took a few steps before he had her dropped on his bed. Her arms hooked around his neck and she said, “You’re a smartass.”

He kissed her.

* * *

Hours later, Adrien opened his eyes and bit back his groan as he looked down at the female asleep in his arm. Deanna’s curly hair fanned around her, her head rested on his chest. His blood pounded in his ears and he carefully uncurled from her and went to grab a pair of pajama bottoms and a pack of cigarettes.

He threw Deanna a look over his shoulder before quietly walking out the cabin. The cool air hit his skin as he unfurled his wings and flew to the top of the roof to sit among the shingles and stars.

Adrien put a cigarette between his teeth and lit it and inhaled deeply. His mind boomeranged between Deanna and Maze and those bites. Those bites that covered Deanna’s neck and shoulders, the fact Maze had been the only one who he had bitten.

And he felt guilt.

He felt guilt for the fact he didn’t feel guilty. Maze- was gone. Or rather he was different now. The last six weeks had made everything lighter and somehow along the way, he had managed to let her go.

Adrien let out a steady breath and looked up at the sky. He let her go and now there was a girl in his bed, asleep in his shirt. A girl he liked and where was he? He was up on the roof in the middle of the night- like a  _dumbass_ ,

With that thought, Adrien crushed the butt and flew down and went inside. Deanna shifted in the bed as he climbed back in and settled next to her. She turned to look at him and said, “Done freaking out?”

Adrien kissed her temple and rested his head on her chest, his arm around her waist and settled nearly on top of her. “Yeah,” he said, quietly, his eyes closing. Her heartbeat feathered against his cheek. “Just needed to think.”

He felt her fingers comb through his hair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Not right now.”

“Then sleep.”

* * *

At ten o’clock the next morning, Blake winnowed his way to Hybern and walked through the forest until he found the small cabin he knew his brother was staying at. It wasn’t much to look at. Probably was a few rooms, a single story.

He took note of the bowl of sand and cigarette butts and he knew he was in the right place. He didn’t bother knocking and waltzed right inside and he looked around at the barest living room he’d ever seen. A chair and small end table and that was it.

Blake shook his head and went to the kitchen which held the barest of necessities. He reigned in his sigh and went to deposit the groceries his mothers insisted he bring to Adrien and then grabbed stuff for breakfast.

He had food starting to cook when he heard someone coming into the room. He turned around and nearly choked when he saw a female coming into the room. Delicate ears, startling eyes and thick curly black hair.

She rubbed her eyes but Blake’s focus was on her throat and shoulders. The bites were stark against her tanned skin, bites no doubt, from Adrien.

He wasn’t sure if he were gaping or not when he said, “Mother’s tits. Who are  _you_?”

She froze. Looked him over, her face completely neutral and carefully blank. Shadows wreathed her and she was poised and ready for a fight. Even in only a shirt-  _Adrien’s_  shirt. Her arms folded and she just stared at him in silence.

They stared each other down when he heard his brother come into the room. Adrien’s eyes locked on him and he had the girl instantly behind him, teeth bared. A low warning growl was in Adrien’s throat.

Blake merely rolled his eyes. “Re _lax_. I have a mate, remember?” Adrien glowered at him and Blake turned the burner off and folded his arms. “You leave without telling me goodbye and are gone for over a  _month_. I was told you were working,  _not getting laid_.”

Adrien’s face completely blanked over and the girl growled. “Watch it,” she said, quiet as death.

Blake shifted his gaze from Adrien to the girl. Her lips thinned, her chin raised. He leaned forward and ignored Adrien’s stiffening. “I can see why my brother likes you,” he said, with a sharp grin. “Made from the same ice. He always did have a type. What’s your name?”

The girl stared at him in silence, her fingers curling at Adrien’s side, almost into a claiming. A tick feathered in Adrien’s jaw as he went to sit at the table. The girl settled between Adrien’s legs and Blake arched a brow as Adrien pressed his lips to her shoulder.

“Moms’ are going to  _looove_  this,” Blake said, grabbing a piece of bacon from the skillet. The girl frowned.

“No they aren’t,” Adrien said, hooking his arm around her waist. “Because you’re not going to tell them.”

“Is that right?” Blake said, chewing off a piece of his bacon. “You going to stop me?”

His brother lifted his gaze to his own. Filled with warning. “Yes.”

Blake tipped his head back and laughed. He sensed Adrien’s shadows twist around tighter, darker. Blake braced a hand on the table and leaned forward. “How you going to stop me when I get home, huh? You’ll be here,” - he took another bite- “And I’ll be there. Can’t stop me, Ade. You never could.”

Adrien stared at him for a moment before silently getting up from the chair and walking to the door. He braced his hand on the doorknob and turned his head. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

His instincts sharpened at the quiet, lethal purr from his brother and Blake felt himself grin savagely. The girl’s eyes darted between him and Adrien and her own shadows twisted around. Blake winked at her and followed after his brother.

They were outside for half a heartbeat before Adrien turned and decked him.

* * *

Deanna ran after the boys and she felt her eyes widen as she watched them roll around in the dirt, just beating the hell out of each other. She covered her mouth, watching the chaos and nearly flinched when Adrien’s elbow met with the other’s nose.

She would have pulled them apart if it weren’t for the fact she got a very distinct feeling this was a rather common occurrence. Instead, she leaned back against the doorframe and watched them with an almost warped sense of fascination.

The two boys looked nothing alike. One was with golden hair and dark brown eyes and had fairer skin while Adrien’s was a rich golden brown and his eyes piercing hazel gold. But the way they carried themselves, the shape of their jaws, the arrogance and lethal grace. They were definitely brothers.

The boy rolled over and straddle Adrien’s hips, his fist connecting with Adrien’s jaw, no doubt bruising the bone. But Adrien isantly had them flipped and the two boys struggled against each other and it just made her realize: she didn’t know Adrien at all.

The fighting finally settled down, with both boys on their backs, groaning in pain. But Adrien’s brother was laughing and she was certain, there was a small smile ghosting Adrien’s lips as he turned to look at his brother. “Blake.”

Blake turned and looked at Adrien, his face smoothing over. “Why didn’t you tell me goodbye,” Blake asked quietly, blood slipping from his nose.

Adrien got up on his elbows. “If I had told you goodbye,” he said, “I wouldn’t have been able to leave. I’d have changed my mind.”

Blake stared at his brother for a long moment. A smile tilted up and he got up on his feet and said, “I’ll give you two a week but then I’m telling Moms’. I’m not dumb enough to lie to them.” He looked at her. “Can you give us a moment?”

She looked at Adrien and he dipped his head. Right. She went back inside and went to change her clothes. But she could hear the boys from where she was.

_“What about Maze?”_

A pause. “ _What about Maze_ ,” Adrien said, a sharp note to his words. “ _She’s gone. We weren’t right for each other.”_

Deanna felt her heart twist and drop. Who the hell was Maze? Was that the girl from the dream all those weeks ago? She pulled on one of the shirts from the bag and tied a belt around her waist and went to dish up food.

She didn’t need to eavesdrop. She’d find out on her own about Adrien’s past. Her own wasn’t exactly roses and rainbows. She had no room to judge. BUt that didn’t stop the sinking in her heart.

* * *

THat night after Blake  _finally_ left, Adrien sat at the table, rolling cigarettes and waited for Deanna to ask. He’d been waiting for hours. But his patience had long since stretched thin and finally snapped. “Ask.”

Deanna folded her arms over her chest, meeting his gaze. “Who’s Maze.”

HIs blood frosted over. “She’s my mate,” he said, quietly.

SHe blinked and unfolded her arms. “Mate.” The word sounded strangled. “She’s your  _mate_? Why aren’t you with her?”  
  
Adrien stood. “She’s not in love with me.”

“But you’re in love with her.”

Adrien stared at her in silence. He wouldn’t lie. He wasn’t a liar. But the smooth blanking of her face had his heart twisting. “Deanna.”

“Am I a consolation prize?” she asked.

Adrien blinked and he blinked again. “What? Are you kidding?” She arched a brow. “I  _bit_ you,” he snapped. “I am not a male who just bites anyone he damn well pleases. If you were just a fuck, I wouldn’t have bitten you. I wouldn’t have let you in my clothes or  _touch my wings_. Where I’m from, if someone touches your wings without an invitation, it is a good way to get your hand severed. You’ve seen my scars,” he said. “Tell me, if you were just a consolation prize, do you think I would have let you touch them?”

She stared at him. Long and harsh and cold. But her shadows trembled, her arms folded over her chest and Adrien refused to look away. Deanna took a breath and then another. Her arms unfolded. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?” she asked quietly.

“Because,” he said, trying like hell to stop his voice from trying to shake. “As much as I love that girl, she broke a part of me and I didn’t want to think about her while I was just starting to like you.”

A long moment past before Deana came up to him and hooked her arms around his neck. His hands instinctively went to her waist. “Her loss,” she said.

“Your gain.”


	66. Requiem: Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning, Bay woke up to Nate's heartbeat fluttering against his cheek. He felt rested- far more rested than he had in so long. A piece of himself came back, nestled against his bones. Nate stirred beneath him and Bay shuddered at the feel of Nate's long fingers brushing his skin beneath the sweatshirt, at the feel of shadows brushing against the spine of his wings.
> 
> Bay looked up at Nate, at the dark eyes that were already on his. They were soft, light, full of.. Love. Bay's breath caught at the brush of Nate's hand against his scarred cheek and he felt something draw tight in his chest, in his soul and snap.

Cassian stood in front of Bay and the displayed swords. They had been out here for hours. For  _hours_  Bay has not moved, had not budged an inch when Cassian ordered him to pick up a sword.

No amount of coercion, no amount of threats or yelling could get his son to pick  _up_ the  _damn_ sword. Or a blade of any kind. Even when he threatened against not being able to see Aysel and Bree.

Stone cold stubbornness was obviously was a shared trait both he and his nephew shared. Or perhaps it was a genuine disinterest and boredom that was in Bay.

He had watched Bay and Cameron beat each other within an inch of their lives. Had watched him use that training he had so obsessively mastered. But he won't. Pick up. The damn.  _Sword_.

"You're not leaving this pitch until you follow my orders," Cassian growled for the uptienth time. "Pick up a blade."

Bay slid those light eyes from the swords to his. His face did not shift, did not move. The sheer iciness could freeze over hell. "Then I guess I'm not leaving."

Cassian growled and he turned and walked away. He wasn't going to get anywhere with him. Let the heat of the damn sun force his hand. Bay wasn't taking one step without a push. Perhaps a sunburn will get through that thick skull.

* * *

Bay stared at the steel, at the wicked looking blades. His bruised face appeared gaunt in the glittering metal, his eyes bleak.

He had come, he had come here like he said he would. He had gone onto this godsforsaken pitch, had fought against Cameron the day before, he had done what Cassian asked.

But.

But this.

Every time he looked at a weapon, every time he looked at one of his daggers he could almost feel the slice to his face. He could almost feel the slice to his arms. He saw the blood of the females he had butchered for Nate. How he took them apart slowly and completely until there was nothing left. He saw his own blood coating the cool metal from his failings. He heard the slick slicing of David's throat at that final confrontation. He saw the blade at his brother's throat, by his hand.

Bay had once thought the day would come when he needed to be put down. His anger was too volatile, too destructive and unyielding. Perhaps it would be best if he didn't pick up another sword. It would be best if he walked away from battle. He can keep his promises without a weapon. He  _was_ a weapon.

So he'll stand here. He'll be this unruly, insolent child who needed to be punished. He didn't care _._  He was  _done._

* * *

Adrien began the long walk back to the cabin, his muscles worn blessedly and his mind clear. He felt, more than saw, Deanna step out of her shadows and walk with him. Neither of them said anything as they walked the three miles in comfortable silence. The only sound he had made was from the strike of a match as he lit a cigarette between his teeth.

They made it within a quarter of a mile from their home when his shadows picked up someone waiting for him at the cabin.

Deanna cast those eyes to him and she arched a brow as he closed his eyes and sighed through his nose. "Blake said he'd give us a week."

"Do you think he lied?"

Adrien shrugged and tugged her to him, wrapping his shadows around them and muttered, "Better get this over with."

He winnowed.

His mother Leta waited at the door, her long white hair unbound and hanging past her shoulders, grey eyes bright as she looked between him and Deanna. At least it wasn't Morrigan, his mother would have made this as dramatic as possible.

"I thought Blake said he'd give us a week," Adrien said.

His mother arched a groomed brow. "Is that any way to greet your mother?" Adrien winced and she said, "Blake didn't say anything. He's too busy healing after the mess he got himself into with Dacia."

Shit. He didn't quite know what happened between his brother and the High Lady of the Spring Court, but he did know his brother and his inability to keep his mouth shut when pissed. But then he digested the words. "What do you mean  _healing_?"

"Bay."

Adrien blinked. Bay had come by the cabin a few times, had sat up on the roof with him and smoked. Neither of them had said a word. Adrien had been too weirded out to say anything. Though he pieced it together, why Bay was there, when he looked in the mirror at his own scar wrapping around his side.

Though the last time he was here was a few days ago. Bay seemed to be grappling with staying in the present. And he appeared sunburnt. Adrien had wondered if Bay had been outside as often as he had been.

"Blake alright?" He asked.

An amused smile tilted up on his mother's lips. "If I say no will you come home?" But before he could answer, grey eyes slid to Deanna. "You are very beautiful, my dear."

Nothing past Deanna's face as she studied his mother. Deanna had taken to sleeping over for the past few days. She was currently in one of his shirts, that went to her knees, and a pair of leggings and worn boots, her curly hair twisted back into a messy bun.

She  _was_ beautiful.

Deanna dipped her head into a slight nod and his mother's eyes slid to him, sly and knowing. He waited for her to say something and she just came up to him, got on her toes and pressed a kissed his cheek. "I expect you home for Starfall," she said. "It's been too long."

He almost retorted that they were  _fae_ and that a month wasn't  _that_ long in the grand scheme of things but he really did not want her to drag his ass home by his ear. That, and he loved Starfall. So he nodded and said, "Promise."

She looked at him for a long moment before a smile spread on her lips. She patted his cheek and then turned to Deanna. "You too."

The only surprise on Deanna's face was a blink. But then her face smoothed into neutrality and she nodded, gravely, to his surprise. "It would be a pleasure."

His mother's brows shot up and then she said, "I can see why he likes you."

And with that, darkness wrapped around his mother and she winnowed.

* * *

Hours later, Nate went into Baylor's room, finding the place empty. He could still smell his scent entwined in the space from that morning. It had become an almost unspoken arrangement this last week. They fucked and slept together. He was no stranger to casual sex and for what it was worth, it seemed to be helping his mate, in some way.

Baylor wasn't here and the sky was getting rather dark. He almost went to see if Baylor was with Adrien, which he  _tried_ to not be bent up about. But his shadows told him his mate was outside. At the pitch.

He went to the balcony and he found his mate still standing on the pitch, like a statue. Nate watched for a moment before winnowing down there. Baylor didn't shift his eyes from the weapons and Nate looked at Baylor's shoulers. At the peeling skin. A horrific sunburn, even in the darkness.

Nate gently brushed his mate's hand with his own and without looking at him, Baylor said, "I'm to not leave until I pick up a weapon."

"How long have you been out here."

"Since daybreak."

 _What_.

"Come inside."

Baylor finally looked at him and he said, "No. I'm following orders."

"Damn Cassian's orders. Your skin is  _peeling_ Baylor."

Baylor's eyes shifted back to the swords and he said, "I don't care."

"Of course you don't," Nate growled. "You don't care about anything do you?"

It was a cheap shot and a low blow. But nothing flickered on Baylor's bruised face, nothing flickered in his shadows. But then Nate too looked at the swords and Nate wondered, just what it was that was going through his mate's nihilistic mind. "Just pick one up," he said.

"I can't."

"You can't or you won't?" Nate asked.

"Everytime I touch a weapon, someone gets hurt."

Nate let out a sigh. "If this is about Ash-"

"It's not about Ash," Baylor clipped out.

"You can talk about this," Nate said, when Baylor's mouth snapped shut. "You  _need_ to talk about this."

Baylor's eyes finally met his and there was no shade of kindness. Not even a flicker of mercy. "You mean like you?" He asked in a dead calm. "You hide behind your paint, behind those rings and bracelets. For  _years_ you told no one what happened to you. Don't be a fucking hypocrite."

Nate recoiled. He had always loved Baylor's blunt truths but this- this truth. Baylor was right. He had pressed pause on the whole thing, had buried those females and Keir beneath layers of paint so he never had to face what was done to him. He never wanted to talk about it because talking made it real, talking made everyone know what happened and he didn't want the pity. But Baylor had never given him pity, just grim understanding.

"You're right," Nate said. "But so am I."

"Never said you weren't."

He refrained from rolling his eyes.  _Smartass_. The sun was fully down now and Baylor was still no closer to picking up a weapon. His mate was stubborn enough to stay out here until he dropped dead or was burnt to a crisp.

He looked at the scar on Baylor's face, at the corded arms with more scars. He thought about the lives Baylor has taken. "No one you have killed wasn't deserving," Nate said softly. "No matter what goes through your head, you would never spill the blood of an innocent. You  _defend._ "

Baylor's lips thinned. Nate stepped in front of him, forcing his mate's eyes up to his own. "Pick it up. You don't have to use it. You don't have to do anything other than pick it up."

"I'm sorry I tried to kill Blake."

Nate blinked at the sudden change in topic. "Blake is an asshole who got what he deserved." Baylor's face didn't shift and Nate said, "Alright. Fine. If you're not leaving, then neither am I."

He sat down on the pitch, threading his fingers through the loose rocks. Baylor looked down at him and then next to him. Nate reached up to grab Baylor's hand and tug him down next to him. He'd bet that Baylor had been  _standing_ all day too.

Baylor nearly dropped like a stone and he put his arms on his knees. Nate took a look at him, at this eighteen year old male, who looked a thousand years old. Wind tore at his mate's hair, pulling it back from those piercing eyes. "This is who you are, Baylor. You're a warrior, through and through."

"Yeah," he says, his eyes going up to the stars. "That's what he said. He went through several obstacles to make sure it turned out that way. A trained killer."

"We're  _all_ trained killers," Nate said, keeping the exasperation from his voice. "We are all trained to kill. Every single one of us. Me, you, Blake, Adrien. Even Ash. Illyrians are a warrior  _race_. It's what we  _do._ "

Baylor looked at him, eyes animal bright in this darkness. "Do you enjoy it? Do you  _enjoy_ killing people?"

Nate looked him in the eye. "There is no shame in enjoying killing people who hurt you or yours. I enjoyed tearing Keir's throat out and I enjoyed killing the males who held you captive. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Baylor's gaze shuddered and Nate leaned over and feathered a thumb across Baylor's scarred cheek. He waited for Baylor to push him away but when he didn't, when Baylor's eyes stayed on his, when they lowered, Nate leaned over and kissed him.

A soft brush against Baylor's cracked lips. The kiss deepened and for a moment, Baylor's fingers wrapping around the back of Nate's neck. But it was over far too quickly for Nate. Baylor ran a thumb over his lips and said, "You can't keep kissing me."

"You needed it," Nate said, unapologetically.

Baylor shook his head, though his eyes glowed. "You're horrible."

"Pick up the sword so we can fuck. If for no other reason than that." Nothing past Baylor's face and Nate leaned over and clasped his cheek. "You don't do it, you let him win. You let him break you. Don't let it."

Baylor looked at the weapons for a long moment before he turned to him. "You pushing me to this so you can sleep with me? Are you  _that_ desperate?"

Nate grinned at him. "Don't get me wrong, Baylor. Sleeping with you has always been the highlight of my day, but I want you to also be able to get back the part of yourself that made you  _you_. Sex is just an incentive."

Surprise flooded through Nate as he watched a flicker of Baylor's wry humor shine in his mate's eyes, even if it disappeared in a moment. Baylor looked back at the weapons and he sighed through his nose as he carefully got to his feet.

Baylor's fingers shook and he smoothed his face into a ferociousness Nate had not seen in so long. He looked at the weapons for a long moment before shifting his gaze to the Illyrian bow at the end.

Nate leaned forward on his elbows as Baylor picked up the bow. And then an arrow. "I remember Cassian telling me about the bow when we were younger," Baylor said. "When I started my training. He told me that not many could use the bow."

Baylor's throat bobbed and Nate remembered the small Illyrian male who had that same stubborn streak as the male before him. Baylor had trained and trained with the bow until his fingers were raw and bleeding. Cassian had never been more proud. As had Nesta.

Baylor brought the bow up, assumed the stance and Nate watched the muscles strain in Baylor's sunburnt arms as he let loose the arrow. It cut through the air and Baylor's chin rose as he heard the arrow pierce the target across the pitch. "I guess it just takes an iron will."

Nate grinned and Baylor looked back down at him. There was no shade of kindness on his face, no mercy and no light. An unending darkness that took Nate's breath away. He was so in love with him- it hurt to  _breathe_.

A whistle sounded behind him and Nate looked over his shoulder to see Cassian waiting for them. Cassian looked exactly like Baylor, the same harshness and same hard lines. How any of them didn't _know_ \- Nate didn't know.

Baylor's grip tightened on the bow and Cassian said, "I said a  _blade_."

A tick worked in Baylor's jaw and before Cassian or he could say a thing, Baylor put the bow back and picked up a throwing knife and  _threw_  it at Cassian. It barely scraped past Cassian's cheek and Baylor said, "Done."

A feral grin split Cassian's face and Baylor blatantly ignored him and turned to Nate and held out a hand. "Come on. We're having sex."

Nate let him pull him up and Baylor stalked past the Commander and off the pitch. Nate whistled and said, "Damn, he really hates your guts right now." Nate went to follow after his mate but Cassian caught his arm. "I know what I'm doing, Cassian," Nate whispered.

Cassian's hazel gold eyes met his and he said, "Thank you."

Nate dipped his head into a nod and Cassian released him. Nate jogged after Baylor whose face was still frozen over, his fingers curled tightly into fists. Nate wondered if he was cutting his palms with his nails.

He grabbed his arm and winnowed them back to the castle and they walked the rest of the way to Baylor's room. Baylor opened the door and Nate looked at the pristine order as he followed Baylor into the washroom.

The mirror had a towel over it and Baylor kept from looking at it and Nate watched an almost panic slip over Baylor's face. Nate opened the windows and kept the bathroom door open as Baylor closed his eyes momentarily before letting out a breath and pulling apart the laces at his abdomen.

Nate turned on the water and pulled his own clothes off. He followed Baylor into the shower and had his mate pinned to the shower wall. Those light eyes lifted to his own and glowed, though his face didn't shift.

Nate's heart pounded in his chest and he could almost hear it over the pouring of the water. Baylor bared his scarred throat to him and Nate's eyes went over the bite from that morning, a bite that was almost healed. He dipped his head and brushed his nose along the plane of throat, inhaling his cypress and clove scent, tinged with lust and sweat.

Baylor's skin was hot, so hot from Cauldron knew how many hours in the sun, let alone the  _days_ in the sun. Nate opened his mouth to sink his teeth into Baylor's flesh and he barely felt the nails biting into his back as his teeth sunk deeper.

* * *

Ash could hear every heartbeat in this entire manor house. His father, his mother, his sisters', the unborn baby in his mother's womb and Celeste's. Her heart- it was the loudest, it was pounding beneath his fingers.

He brushed his lips against the plane of her throat and he could smell the lust on her. He could smell her scent, he could smell how much she wanted him inside her. He smiled against her skin and sunk his teeth in.

Celeste's arms hooked around his neck, her nails digging into his back. Blood filled his mouth and a groan loosed from his throat as he sunk his teeth deeper, harsher into a claiming. Her breath caught, her fingers dug in deeper and Ash was very aware of every neuron in her body on overdrive, of her ankles digging into him.

He flicked the wounds shut and she breathed, "Fuck me."

His magic washed over him and he looked down at those cobalt eyes, blown out and needing and wanting. And who was he to say no? "As you wish."

* * *

Celeste could feel her skin burn with need, with want so deep and undiluted as Ash licked and kissed every inch he could to the apex between her thighs. She gripped his hair, the headboard, the edge of the world as he lazily slipped her panties down and as his tongue and fingers slipped inside her, working her in sweeping strokes, fragmenting her mind in a million pieces.

Inside- she wanted him in _side_ her.

She tugged his hair and a low, wicked laugh caressed her bones. He settled over her, his long red hair falling over his shoulders like a red flame as those glowing eyes pinned her to the bed. He grinned at her like a fox, sly and mischievous and ever a prince of the Autumn Court.

The breadth of his shoulders, the brutality of his sun kissed chest was nothing less than that of a warrior as he lined up and buried himself inside her. She nearly whimpered at the fullness and didn't have a chance to exhale as his hips rolled forward.

She felt his magic brush against her, felt it make her heart race faster, felt it make her skin so sensitive, so aware of every touch he gave her.

The headboard groaned beneath Ash's broad hand as slammed into her. His mouth claimed hers, his tongue sliding in with ease. It shouldn't have surprised her that he was skilled with it considering how often he opened his mouth.

Her nails dug into his flushed sculpted back, into his slick flesh, and his scent filled her nose. Crackling and alive and hot. Celeste kissed him back, she kissed him hard and hooked her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into her, trying to get that scent, that blessed scent further into her nose.

Ash palmed her breast, the rough calluses of his hand sending heat coursing through her veins.  _More_ , she thought. She wanted  _more_.

All the years of barely surviving, of starving and aching made her selfish. She wanted more, she wanted it all, she wanted every inch of Ash to belong to her.

She rolled him over onto his back, or rather he  _let_ her roll him onto his back. She straddled his hips and guided his cock back into her. Her heart jumped into his throat as she rolled her hips forward, her hands splaying his toned chest.

He gripped her hip, a hand brushing her abdomen and brushing lower and lower. His thumb brushed her clit and she panted as her release barreled through her.

Celeste dropped her head on Ash's sun kissed shoulder and he felt her hand brush down her backside and grip her ass, his hips rolling into her.

Celeste panted, her fingers digging into his chest. Her hair was damp down her chest, his corded arms around her as he fucked into her.

Her mind was in a million pieces, trying and failing to form a single thought. But she was too far gone to do anything beyond pant and moan into Ash's skin. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her lips, could hear his own pants.

Heat coated the room, fire filled her veins and she lifted her head to kiss him on the lips. He plunged his fingers into her damp red hair, his tongue darting into her mouth. Ash's fingers dug into the meat of her ass and he pressed his forehead to hers, panting as he shattered inside her.

Celeste nearly collapsed on top of him as she waited for her blood to stop frenzying. His arms stayed around her tightly, proprietarly and he rasped, "That- was amazing." She was inclined to agree, at least would when she was capable of piecing together thought.

Ash tugged her damp hair until she was looking down at him. A tired grin cracked on his lips as he brushed a thumb against her cheek. "You're never leaving my bed."

* * *

Nate tugged Baylor out of the shower and put him in one of his hooded sweatshirts. Baylor tried arguing but Nate covered his mouth and shushed him. To his surprise, Baylor didn't put up a fight, he just went fo the bed. The sleeves went well past Baylor's hands and a primal part of him reveled in it.

Nate threw on a pair of purple pajama bottoms and opened the windows and the doors to the balcony before following Baylor to the bed. They sat on the bed together, Baylor's head in his hands and Nate took a deep, shaking breath and choked out, "It started when I was fourteen."

Baylor's head snapped up and he looked at him. "Nate-"

"No,' Nate rasped. "Let- let me talk." Baylor nodded, eyes wide, and Nate said, "I was fourteen. To this day I don't know why I was in that damn place. But I was. Maybe part of me thought I could somehow  _fix_ things between my grandfather and my mother. I don't know. But whatever uneasy peace was between them came screeching to a halt when he learned I prefered males. He said my bloodline was too important, too pure and I needed to be able to carry on the family line."

Tears slipped down his face and Nate said, "I said no. I said no and he had me tied down." Nate closed his eyes, tears slipping down his cheeks and he said, "I can still feel their hands on me, their- their lips on me and when I tried to push them away, Keir broke my  _hand_. Into a million pieces. He shattered it."

Nate told him about each of the females, he told him about their touch, about how eager they were to please him. He told him how sometimes he needed to shower again and again to get the feeling away. How how used tattoos and piercings and the pain they brought to bring him back to the present. He told him how he spun lies into truths to get Ash to heal him so no one would know. Baylor's face didn't shift, there was no pity, but there was understanding. A pure grim understanding. Baylor held onto his hand the entire time.

By the time he was finished, by the time he spilled every truth he had hid, Nate was shaking. Baylor clasped his cheek, forcing Nate's attention to him, Baylor reached over and kissed him. So softly, so warm. He tasted the salt from his own tears and he pushed back into the kiss, his arm slipping around Baylor's waist, pulling him closer.

He brought his mate's scent deep into his lungs, let it cement him in the present. Baylor pulled back, his eyes blown out and chest heaving. Nate whispered, "What was that for?"

"You needed it."

Despite the ache in his chest, despite everything, Nate felt himself smile. Nothing flickered on Baylor's face or in his shadows. But those eyes glowed. Nate dipped his head and kissed him again. He traded those memories, those feels for Baylor's, for a male who would sooner destroy himself than hurt him.

They both had a bad habit of using sex to deal with their shit, but in all honesty, it was better than some things. Baylor pulled back from him, dipped his head, his fingers still brushing Nate's cheek. Baylor bit his lip and lifted his piercing light eyes to his. They were flat, but still glowed. They were dead, but still alive. "I was a fool," he said, throat bobbing. 'I should never have gone without telling anyone. I- I should have told you, I should have told  _Cassian_. BUt I didn't. I didn't think. I  _couldn't_ think."

There were no tears in Baylor's eyes but there was a tremble in his voice. "I let my hate drive me and I killed so many people to get to him. I don't even know how many. I got caught, I got tortured every day. Cameron came down every night. I could feel him in his shadows, watching me and when he stepped out- he would smile. He  _smiled_ at me and all I can do, is see him. I see him when I close my eyes, I see him when they're  _open_. He's smiling that damn insufferable smile and I  _hate_ him. But-"

Baylor's voice breaks and he drops his head. Nate tips up his mate's chin and forces those light eyes to his. Baylor's throat bobs and Nate whispers, "Tell me."

Baylor inhales sharply. "How can I hate my mirror?"

Nate threaded his fingers in Baylor's damp light hair, tugging the strands out of his eyes. "Emotions aren't meant to make sense, Baylor," he said softly, pressing a finger over his heart. "They're meant to make you feel something. If they were meant to, they wouldn't be in your heart, they'd be in your head. Stop thinking, start feeling."

Baylor held his gaze. "My heart gets me in trouble."

"Your heart makes you alive."

For once, in Nate didn't know how long, there was a semblance of light in his mate's eyes. It was dim, it was small, but it was there, staring back at him. Those eyes dropped to Nate's lips and Baylor bit his own before reaching over to kiss him.

It was soft, tentative and Nate clasped Baylor's scarred cheek and deepened the kiss. He felt Baylor's arms hook around his neck, felt something inside him draw tight. Baylor slipped into his lap and Nate's heart swelled at the softness in this kiss. It had been- so long since Baylor had kissed him like this and he was afraid he would wake up and it would all be pretend.

Nate hooked his arm around his mate's waist and pulled him deeper into his lap. Baylor's calloused hands slipped down and he cradled Nate's face. There was an ember of his mate in this, an ember of who Bayor was before all this happened, before the break up, before the torture, before David or Adrien. And while Nate knew, he wouldn't get all of him back, he loved him nonetheless. The ice, the hate, the bitterness. He wouldn't have it any other way. Baylor was one of the most genuine, unapologetic males he had ever met and he loved him for it.

Nate carefully flipped them and Baylor blinked up at him and Nate said, "I want to fuck you."

"Then do it."

"No," Nate rasped. "I want to  _fuck_ you."

He didn't want what they had been doing. He wanted- he wanted him. Like before. If only once. Just- one final time. Baylor's eyes shaded with realization and Nate waited for Baylor to push him away, to tell him no.

But Baylor's arms hooked around his neck and he said, "Then. Do. It."

Surprise flooded through him and Nate claimed his mate's mouth. He felt Baylor's scarred fingers tug at the waist of his pajama bottoms, he felt Baylor's half hard erection against his stomach.

Nate parted from him long enough to discard his clothes and Baylor's undershorts. But as Baylor went to take off the sweatshirt, Nate stopped him. "No," he said. "Keep it on."

* * *

The next morning, Bay woke up to Nate's heartbeat fluttering against his cheek. He felt rested- far more rested than he had in so long. A piece of himself came back, nestled against his bones. Nate stirred beneath him and Bay shuddered at the feel of Nate's long fingers brushing his skin beneath the sweatshirt, at the feel of shadows brushing against the spine of his wings.

Bay looked up at Nate, at the dark eyes that were already on his. They were soft, light, full of.. Love. Bay's breath caught at the brush of Nate's hand against his scarred cheek and he felt something draw tight in his chest, in his soul and  _snap_.

Bay snapped up into a sitting position and Nate sat up on his elbows, his brows furrowed in concern, but then his face smoothed into realization. Nate sat up the rest of the way, "Baylor-"

Bay pulled back when Nate reached over to touch him. He scrambled backwards and off the bed. He got dressed and walked out of the room without a word to Nate.

Bay scrambled backwards and got off his bed and threw his clothes and glasses on as fast as he could an he left. He walked down the hall, he walked as fast as he could and he ignored Cassian coming out of the bedroom doorway holding Aysel, he ignored Breanya next to him and he ignored every person he went past until he was off the castle grounds and was flying.

* * *

Ash jolted awake at the pounding on his bedroom door. Celeste stirred in his arms and Ash sat up in time to hear the door slam open. His brother came into the room, his heart was pounding in his chest and Ash could smell the fear and shock on him.

He felt Celeste sit up beside him, felt her bring the sheet up to cover herself. He could have told her that Bay was about as likely to touch her as, let alone  _look_ at her, as he was sprouting wings and flying into the sun. Though that didn't stop the warning growl from tearing through his throat towards Bay.

He sensed Bay look at him, could almost see the pure unimpressed look on his face. No, Bay was not afraid of him, hadn't been since they were little and Bay began training. He might have been able to beat him in a fight then, but now... not so much. He guessed that was what happened when one decided to obsess on training instead of living.

"What the  _hell_ do you want, Baylor?" He sensed Bay flinch and Celeste smacked his arm. She yelped as he pinched her thigh and he kissed her cheek before sliding his glare to his brother, who was opening his windows. "What's so important you must interrupt my lady and I?"

"Interrupt you  _what_?" Bay asked sharply. "Sleeping? It's past noon. Learn to open your windows. It  _reeks_ in here."

Ash threw the blanket and sheet of himself and didn't bother putting pants on as he stormed across the room and opened his bedroom door. "I have had to deal with your and Nate's scents driving me nuts for the last Cauldron knows how long. Get  _out_."

Bay was quiet for a long moment and Ash pulled his eyesight clear and looked at him. His face was drawn, tight and he looked like  _shit_. Oh. "You know." Bay's eyes met his and Ash cursed under his breath before saying, "GIve us an hour. Then I'm all yours."

Bay held his gaze for a long moment, nothing passing his features as he carefully looked between him and Celeste. "You're not going to last an hour," Bay said, but he dipped his head to Ash and walked past him.Ash shut the door and went to climb back up on the bed over Celeste. He kissed her deeply and then lowered between her thighs.

  
_You're not going to last an hour._

They'll see about that.

* * *

Nate carefully put his clothes on and walked to the trees beyond the palace in Hybern. Unsurprisingly, Cameron laughed from high up in the trees.. He had a feeling Cameron had been staying out in these woods, though for whatever reason, he wasn't sure.

Nate looked up to see him lying lazily across a thick branch, eating an apple. "I guess my baby brother has finally learned some things, hmm?"

"You know."

Cameron dropped down from the branch, his clothes immaculate, his light hair brushed out of his eyes. "Oh, I know," he says with a lazy grin. "You think I got where I am by my pretty looks? If Bay wasn't so damn clueless he would have figured it out long ago."

Nate slid him a look. "Careful how you talk about him," he said in a lethal quiet. "You insult him and I'll rip out your tongue."

If Cameron were in any way worried Nate would carry out his threat, it surely didn't show in his shadows or on Cameron's face. Cameron was crazy enough to toe the line, to see just how  _far_ he can push Nate before Nate punched back. While his paitence was ten times as long as Baylor's, the results when pushed are very much the same.

"I want to see my sister," Cameron said. "I have been helping you all with Bay's idiocy but I want to see Breanya, I have just as much of a right to her as Bay does. I have  _more_ of a right."

"You let that girl stay with your father," Nate said, folding his arms. "You let her stay in that  _environment_. What do you think would happen to her when she got older? Do you think someone like Breanya would be able to make it in that camp?"  
  
A harsh line split Cameron's face, his light eyes frosting over, his shadows pooling around him. "I do not have to explain myself to the likes of  _you,_ " Cameron spat, fisting Nate's shirt, yanking him forward. "You have no  _idea_ the things I have had to do to survive while you and my brother live like royalty."

"Let him go."

They looked over Nate's shoulder to see Cassian at the pitch with his arms crossed. Cameron shoved Nate back and prowled towards Cassian. His gait was smooth, fluid, like a jungle cat ready to go for the jugular. "Let me see my sister," Cameron purred. "Or I'll burn your rutting castle to the ground."

"It's Bay's call," Cassian says coolly, his lips pulling back as he bares his teeth.

Cameron smiled, dark and cruel and Nate felt shivers crawl up his spine. Cameron did not balk, he did not fall back a step at the might of Cassian. He was  _insane_. But... but Nate knew, he had a point. He  _had_ a point, damn him. "I'll see what I can do," Nate said before Cassian made Cameron eat dirt. "Just give me some time."

Cameron turns to look over his shoulder at him. Nothing flickers in those light eyes, or on that face. He dips his head and then draws darkness around himself and disappears. Cassian sighed painfully and said, "You really think you can talk Bay into letting Cameron see her? He's more territorial than  _I_ am and that really means something."

"I can try," Nate said, threading his fingers through have hair. "Though it's going to have to wait until after I deal with the bond."

"It snapped in place."

It wasn't a question, but Nate answered it all the same. "Yes. We dealt with some... things last night and I think after what happened, it made him vulnerable enough to snap in place for him."

"That explains why he took off like a bat out of hell this morning," Cassian said, a half grin curling up on his lips, though it did not reach his golden eyes. "Probably either with Adrien or Ash, then. Or he decided to drink himself under the table. I never know with him anymore."

Nate shook his head. "I figured I'll give him some space. I think he realized that I knew about it. Though I'd keep it from him again. He wasn't ready to know."

Cassian clasped his shoulder. "I highly doubt Bay is going to hold that against you, Nathaniel. Perhaps Starfall will be different this year."

Nate looked at him. He had wanted to share Starfall with Baylor, had wanted to kiss him, had wanted to at least dance with him. Though he wasn't sure if he was going to get that this year- he certainly didn't get it last year when Baylor hadn't yet been out.

"I'm not going to Starfall this year," Nate said, shrugging Cassian's hand away. "I'm going to the Spring Court with Dacia." Before Cassian could talk him into it, Nate pulled darkness around himself and winnowed to the Spring Court.

* * *

Dacia brought up her bow and let the arrow cut through the air and embed itself in the target. She let another and another fly. Her damn council meeting left her frustrated beyond reason and she had wanted to put each of their air filled heads through windows. Perhaps it would knock some semblance of common sense in their heads instead of arrogance. Or plain idiocy.

Dacia felt Nate before she even saw him step out of his shadows. His deep purple shirt was crinkled and his long black hair slightly messy, not the usual perfectection he generally kept it in. She could smell Bay on him, entwined in his lavender and apple scent. More now than ever. She lowered her bow. "What's wrong?"

Nate smiled, though it did not reach his dark eyes. "I need a drink."

She arched a brow. "Never took you one for a day drinker, Nathaniel."

Nate snorted and shoved his hands in his pockets as he started for her house. She fell in step with him easily. His gait was fluid, smooth, his shadows pooling around him. But his eyes were bleak, flat and perhaps now it was her turn to be the champion in their friendship.

Dacia tugged him close and they made a beeline for the kitchen. Nate sat at the counter while she grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. She poured his and slipped it in front of him and poured hers and sat across from him. "So tell me," she said, taking a drink from her glass. "What is it that has your hair  _that_ messy? You're gay, act like it."

Nate choked on his drink and started coughing. Dacia laughed as he dipped his fingers in his glass and flicked wine at her. "You're horrible," he said. "I didn't comment on  _your_ messy hair when I was last here."

"Yes," she said. "But I'm a lesbian. What's your excuse?"

A grimace twisted Nate's face and he took a drink. "Bond snapped in place for Baylor and Cameron threatened to burn down the castle in Hybern. Just another day."

Nate had told her about Bay's brother and she... understood Bay's disdain, she couldn't imagine being subjected to seeing a living example of being tortured. Though, she didn't have any blood siblings and now he had  _two_. Ash and the girls were more than enough in terms of siblings. She was content with them.

She patted his hand and he said, "You okay with me staying here during Starfall? I don't really want to go."

She chewed on her lip. "Perhaps. We'll see what's going on."

He offered her a half smile and said, "Thanks."

* * *

Bay sat up on the roof of the manor house and lit the cigarette between his teeth. He inhaled the acrid smoke and let it fill his lungs as he watched the afternoon sky. Adrien had given him one of his packs wordlessly a few days ago. They sat up on the roof and said nothing, did nothing as they stared at the stars. He hadn't asked about the girl, he hadn't asked about Maze or what the hell he was doing in Hybern. Bay hadn't cared and it wasn't any of his business to begin with.

He felt, more than heard Ash come and sit next to him. Bay could feel the disapproval coming off Ash as his brother looked at his cigarettes. "Since when did you smoke? That shit ain't good for your lungs, you dumbass."

Bay rolled his eyes. "Since you started screwing the healer," he quipped. Ash didn't rise to his bait, though he gave Bay a withering glare. "And it's none of your business."

Ash held up a hand and heat pulses next to him as Ash reigns in whatever comeback is obviously on the tip of his tongue. Bay takes another drag before turning back to the sky as Ash says, "First, it's more than screwing, you ignorant asshole. Second, you're on  _my_ roof, in  _my_ court, bothering  _me_ and  _my_ lady, so  _yes_ , it  _is_ my business." When he doesn't answer, Ash sighs painfully and drops back among the shingles. "You get lung cancer I'm not healing you." Bay shrugged and Ash said, "So the bond snapped in place, huh?"

Bay sighed softly and threaded his fingers in his hair, pulling the strands out of his eyes. "Yeah."  _And I left, like a damned coward._ "Nate knew." Bay slid his eyes to Ash and said, "So do you." Ash paled and Bay said, "I don't care that you didn't tell me."

Ash let out a breath and Bay hated how relieved he sounded. Yes, a part of him was greatly  _annoyed_ that both males lied to him...but- he knew. He knew that for Nate or Ash to lie to him- especially  _Ash_ , there was a damned good reason. They probably thought he wasn't ready to know, they probably thought he'd break down and decided to wait. To be honest, he was still close to a breakdown but the overwhelming rush inside his head stopped the panic.

"How long have you know," Bay asked quietly.

Ash crossed his ankles and scratched his face. "SInce we got you, since you didn't kill Nate when you were feral but nearly ripped my throat out with your teeth."

Bay tried to not flinch. He still had moments where he thought perhaps it would be easier to give into that pure primal side of his, to let the animal take over and let himself fall back into that blessed darkness that took everything away. But he didn't, he didn't let that monster anywhere near Ash or Nate or his sisters. Even if it was oh so tempting to unleash it on Cameron.

"I'm sorry," Bay said quietly. Ash arched a brow and Bay said, "For all of it. You don't deserve half the shit I put you through."

Ash sat up and hooked an arm around Bay's shoulder. "You're my brother," he said quietly. "You're not supposed to make things easy for me. Besides, you have gotten me out of enough scrapes, you have the right to be pissy." Bay felt his cheeks warm and Ash's voice whetted to a brutal edge. "But if you  _ever_ make me feel that kind of fear and pain again and go off like you did, I swear I'll burn your ass alive."

"Now you know how I felt," Bay said. "When you left I nearly went out if my mind trying to find you. I hunted the Suriel down and hadn't slept for nearly a week until I found you."  _Trying to kill yourself._

Ash dropped his head, his cheeks redenning in shame. They both had felt as if it were something they needed to do, Ash was consumed with grief and he was consumed with hatred. "How about we just... both promise each other," Ash said, lifting his head to squint at the sky. "We stay together, no matter what. No more kamakazi missions that would end with both of us dead."

"Promise."

Ash let out a soft sigh. "For what it's worth, I hated lying to you. I hated seeing you struggling and not telling you about Nate. I was so sure you were going to hate me for lying to you."

Bay took a drag from his cigarette. "Hate," he said. "No. Hate has gotten me into enough trouble.  _Annoyed_ , however, yes. But I get it. I do."

They sat in silence for a long moment, Bay finishing his cigarette and Ash watching the sky. He could almost see the gears working in Ash's head, could see him thinking and rethinking what to say to him. He was close to just telling him to spit it out when Ash said, "What are you going to do?"

_I don't know._

"After everything I have done," Bay said. "After everything I have put him through, he shouldn't want me. He shouldn't want the bond. I used him, I left him, I treated him like shit. I threw things in his face that I had no right doing, he should hate me."

"He doesn't," Ash said, quietly. "You know he doesn't. He's known you for ten years, he knew what he was getting himself into when he kissed you in the Blood Rite. You could kill him and he would still love you more than anything."

Tears stung the back of his eyes. Nate was his mate.  _Nate_ was his mate and he knew it, not only that, but Nate knew about the males, he knew about the males Bay had slept with.  _I want you in my scent_ , he had said. Nate must have gone out of his mind at the bar, at seeing him with someone else. No wonder why he kept showing up at Bay's door.

"Are you going to Starfall," Ash asked.

Yes. No. "I don't know."

Starfall was in three days. Starfall was his favorite, always had been. To see the night sky bright with stars, bright with light and Nate. To see Nate dancing, to see Nate smiling up at the sky, to see Nate smiling at  _him_. Everything about Starfall made Bay feel alive.

"Go," Ash said. Bay looked at him with an arched brow and Ash said, " I don't want to go alone. So come with me."

"Can't get a date for yourself?". Bay asked dryly. "What about the healer?"

Ash snorted. "I have every intention of bringing Celeste with us. But it's not the same without you there."

Bay nodded distantly. He spoke the healer's name so casually, so  _easily_  and Bay- was happy for him. Even if he hadn't said a word to her, even if he saw the camp when he looked at her. Ash was fond of her and it wasn't like Ash to get attached to many females. "Fine."

* * *

Hours later, Ash walked through the Spring Court. It didn't take much to figure out Nate would be there, he generally went to Dacia when he had problems. Bay was currently passed out on the sofa in Ash's room and he valued his balls enough to not wake him up. He was  _not_ going to have a repeat of last time he bothered Bay in his sleep.

The Spring Court was filled with buzzing, with flowers creeping up the sides of the manor house, fully in bloom, the light streaming through the windows from candles or lighting. He didn't bother knocking and shoved his hands in his pockets and walked through until he heard Dacia's heartbeat.

Ash's sister was at the counter alone, drinking a glass of tea. She didn't bother looking up at him as she said, "You walking right through my front door is getting rather irritating, Ash. Keep doing it and I will bar your ass from my court."

Ash shrugged and swiped an apple from the cupboard and sat beside her. They sat in silence, him eating his apple and she drinking her tea for a long moment before Dacia sat down her mug and she said, "Thank you."

He took a bite and asked, "For what?"'

He felt those emerald lift to him and she said, "You know what for." A half smile curled up on his face and he shrugged again. It was his job to protect his sister, even from arrogant assholes who were  _supposed_ to be her best friend. "So what brings you to my court at this late an hour?"

"You going to Starfall this year?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "Nate asked me if he could stay here with me instead of going." Ash blinked. Nate-  _Nate_ wanted to miss Starfall? Fuck. "Unless," she said slowly. Ash leaned forward, and she said, "Is Bay going?"

"I'm making him."

He sensed Dacia nodding slowly and he could almost see the plans forming and falling apart and reforming in her head. "I'm tired," she said. "Those two need a damned push and we're going to  _shove_ them together. They've been apart for nearly seven months and have spent this last week... doing whatever it was they were doing. This needs to stop before they break each other's hearts."

"Then it's settled," Ash said. "Drag Nate's ass to the party and I'll make sure Bay's there. They don't leave Velaris until they're together."

Ash thought about the repercussions that could ensue from forcing Bay to do  _anything_. Bay would probably castrate him if things went to hell between him and Nate. But he was also tired of watching Bay being his usual stubborn, self-hating-self destroying one of the best things that has happened to him. Outside of meeting him, that is.

They talked for another hour before he heard Nate come into the room. He looked up and cleared his vision to see Nate half dead, his hair messy and in what looked like pajamas? Did Nate have pajamas here? "You look like shit."

"Says the blind male," Nate quipped without missing a beat, going for the tea and apples.

"Ah yes," Ash said lazily. "But this blind male isn't hiding from his mate, now is he?"  
  
Nate stiffened and Ash's magic didn't detect the apple until it hit him in the face,, splitting his cheek. Ash glared at Nate who clipped out, "Watch that tongue before I cut it out. You have  _no_ right to things that do not pertain to you, Heir."

Ash opened his mouth, his retort on the tip of his tongue when he felt sharp claws dig into his thigh, cutting through the fabric, sinking into his skin in a firm warning. He shot his sister a look. whose face was the picture of serene.

 _Fine_.

  
"I better go," Ash said sullenly. "I'm not in the mood to deal with bitchy males with their heads up their asses." He could feel Nate's glare and Ash kissed Dacia's cheek before walking out of the manor.

* * *

Three days later Dacia began readying for Starfall. She dressed in a long floor length dress with lace sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. The deep green beaded fabric hugged her hips and fell loosely to the floor, with a slit running up the side. She had one of the servants help with her hair, lightly curling and slipping light combs in the golden strands, pulling them from her lightly kohl lined emerald eyes. She had the strappy stiletto heels in place when Nate walked through the door and stopped in his tracks.

"What are the odds you're going on a really fancy date and not to Starfall?" He asked, folding his tattooed arms over his chest.

She straightened and looked at him. "Go take a shower. You're my date to Starfall." He grimaced and she stalked up to him and dug her painted black nails into his chin, forcing his eyes to hers. "You have no choice in the matter, Nathaniel. i don't want to go to Starfall alone and Blake has a date this year."

He glared at her. With her heels, she met him exactly at his height, six foot two. She always did like her height, it made her feel powerful, made her feel like she had the higher ground. She patted his cheek and he sighed and said, "I have nothing to wear."

She waved her hand in dismissal. "I got you something when I got my dress. You'll love it. Now go get ready, I don't want to be late."

Nate grumbled and shook his head, but disappeared through the bedroom door. She did not miss the strain in his tattooed shoulders.

* * *

Deanna walked with Adrien through Velaris, as he had called it. The setting sun glittered on the river, the sky a rainbow of colors. Adrien's arm rested around her shoulder, relaxed, though she did not miss the steel in his eyes as he looked around at the buildings, at the river, at the people who passed them glances.

He winnowed them through the city before unfurling his wings and flying them up a set of stairs to the door, already open, revealing Blake leaning against the frame. He gave her a blinding smile and said, "Hello again, Deanna."

"Let us inside, Prick," Adrien said, carefully taking note of the split lip and cut below Blake's eye. "We need to get ready."

A low laugh from Blake, though he moved and let them though. "Moms' are gone and Father is off Cauldron knows where. It's just us and you guys. At least until the wraiths get here. They're probably getting your lady a dress," he said, giving her a wink. She just arched a brow.

Adrien said nothing and tugged her back through the house. She had never seen such lived in space, so warm and friendly, except for perhaps her uncle's house. Her own was devoid of such warmth.

A female with long black hair was in the furthest room down, putting shoes on. Deanna spied a tattoo trailing down the spine of her light brown back. That must be Blake's mate. Adrien didn't even give the female a single look as he pushed open a door and tugged Deanna inside.

The door shut and Adrien went to the closet as she looked over the bedroom. It was just as scarce as the cabin. So few things were inside, so few personal things. Perhaps he kept everything in his heart and chose to not show them in the waking world. Her eyes went involuntarily to the made bed and the female from Adrien's dream flashed into her mind.

Adrien's eyes instantly turned to her, his face smoothed over as he let go of whatever clothes he was touching and came up to her, forcing her attention from the bed to his and he kissed her deeply, thoroughly pulling her away from whatever conclusions her traitorous mind was putting together. He pulled back and brushed a calloused thumb over her cheek. "I'm with you," he said firmly. "Not her." He held her gaze unblinkingly until she nodded and he said, "Help me find something to wear."

"Clothes are not my strong suit," she said, giving him a half smile.

He laughed and looked her over. She was still in his shirt and a pair of leggings. "You're still wearing more than I wanted you too. Obviously you have  _some_ sense of fashion." She snorted and he said, "Come on."

His closet was just as meticulous as the rest of the room, just as the cabin was. He almost lived like a soldier. She fingered through some of the shirts, which were just  _awful_  and not something she pictured Adrien ever wearing. They were so frivolous. They  _had_ to be gifts.

She continued until she found a simple long sleeved buttoned shirt with onyx buttons.  _This_ looked like Adrien's type. Though she suspected it wasn't he who bought it. Perhaps it was the silver haired female from the cabin. "This," she said.

Adrien took it without looking, and the pair of black slacks from her other hand and began carefully pulling the white cotton shirt over his head. But before he started untying the leathers at his hips, he looked over his shoulder at her, eyes glittering, "We should shower, yeah?"

She grinned.

* * *

Aurora finished dressing and she felt Blake watching her. She turned to see him leaning against the doorframe, to see his dark eyes blatantly and unabashedly on her. They lifted to her own and he grinned at her. "You look beautiful."

She smiled. "I know."

He pushed off the door frame and came up and kissed her. She felt his caullosed hands slip up her bare back, tracing the design on her spine. He came to know every piece of her, every curve and edge. Sometimes she could still feel him inside her.

He pulled back and looked down at her, eyes glowing. "You'll love Starfall," he said, softly.

"If you love it, I'm sure I'll love it," she said.

A grin cracked on his still healing face. "I love it almost as much as I love you."

She fingered the bruise on his cheek. He had deserved it, for saying what he did to Dacia. Then  _lied_ to her about it. Aurora had made him take her to her friend and she spent a day with her, doing nothing other than eat and talk. And now, according to Blake, she was also coming to Starfall with Nate.

"You're horrible," she said.

Before Blake could respond, his head snapped up and he turned around. "The Wraiths are here. I suppose I should get Deanna's dress, I probably have the best advantage of leaving Adrien's room alive."

She snorted and Blake walked out of the room. Aurora sat on the bed, brushing her fingers along the soft silks of her dress, a dress of the Dawn Court. She had yet to return home, she had moments when she thought about it, but every time she closed her eyes, every time she panicked she might not wake, was reason enough to not go.

Perhaps that made her a coward, a betrayer of her blood and her court. But her father betrayed her first.

* * *

Hours later Dacia stood by Nate, who was in the wearing the black on black suit she had gotten for him, his hair shiny and hanging past his shoulders, nearly reaching down to the middle of his back. He quietly watched the people around them, his face smoothed over, but his eyes- his eyes were filled with longing and a yearning that took the air from her lungs as he looked up at the balcony, where Bay was leaning against the railing, eyes up at the sky.

"Go talk to him," she said. "Go talk to your  _mate_ before I beat you to hell for being so damned stupid."

He didn't say a word about her threat. He didn't say a word and he didn't blink. He didn't hear her, he only saw Bay. Dacia sighed softly and nearly punched his arm to get her damn point across but Nate wrapped shadows around himself and winnowed.

Good.

"You came," a voice said.

Dacia turned around to see Feyre with a baby in a pale blue dress that matched her eyes. Dacia looked at the wisps of black hair, at the blue grey eyes that met her own and golden tan skin that almost seemed lit from within. "This must be Biela, yes?"

Feyre nodded and said, "Would you like to hold her?"

"I'd love to."

* * *

Bay watched the sky, he watched the stars lighting up the blackness as he let out a slow, shaky breath as he felt someone behind him. Bay didn't bother looking and said, "Are you going to keep staring at me or are you going to say something?"

He heard Nate step out of the shadows and come up beside him. Nate's tattooed hands braced the railing and turned his dark eyes to the sky. They stood in silence for a long moment before Nate said, "You were exactly like this when I fell in love with you. You were watching the stars, not smiling and your eyes were bright. I had never wanted to kiss you more than I did in that moment."

"I'm not him," Bay whispered. "I'm not that person anymore."

"I know," Nate said, softly. "But it changes nothing." Bay felt Nate's eyes shift to him. "I told you, you could rip my heart out and I would thank you. I still stand by those words."

Bay's heart dropped and filled at the same time. This stupid male. This  _stupid_ male. How can he say that? After everything, how is Nate  _Nate_? Bay closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm done," he choked out. "I'm done, Nate."

Nate stiffened beside him, those eyes still pinned on him, afraid. But still so very sincere. Bay wasn't sure if either of them were bleeding or not when Bay turned to him. His mate. His equal in every way. In every power, in every dream and nightmare. His heart. "I'm tired of being with you," Bay said. Nate sucked in a breath and Bay said, "I'm tired of being with you and not  _actually_ being with you. I'm tired of holding onto scraps of some belief when I know you are the strongest person I know." Nate's eyes were bright with unshed tears. "If you will still have me," Bay whispered, tears pricking behind his own eyes, "that is. If you can forgive me."

Nate collapsed to his knees and pressed his forehead against Bay's abdomen. A sob tore through Nate's entire body, filling and finding a place in his bones. "Yes," Nate said, the word broken. " _Yes_." Bay carded his fingers in Nate's hair and he closed his eyes. Yes. Yes,  _this_.

Bay dropped to his knees and he brought Nate's lips to his own in a soft kiss. Starlight filled his veins and Bay thought:  _Yes. I don't want the stars, I wan't Nate_. Nate pulled back, his golden brown cheeks streaked with tears. Because of him. "Please," he cracked out. "Do not do this again. I can't survive you leaving like that again."

Shame roiled in his veins and his cheeks heated. "I can't promise I won't push you away," he whispered. "But for as long as you will have me, I will always,  _always_ be yours."

"Then stay forever," he said.

"I promise."


	67. Requiem: Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bayor wiped his blood coated throwing knives on his pants before sliding them back into their sheathes with practiced ease. He made the warriors stay on their knees for nearly a solid minute and a half before ordering them to stand.
> 
> The looked to him and Baylor said, “Things are changing around here. If anyone is attacked unprovoked, you die. If anyone tries to clip wings, they get theirs carved off. If anyone rapes anyone, you will be castrated and then butchered. Females will learn to fight, to defend themselves. The males will help with chores. Bastards will be given supplies and given a chance. If anyone has a problem with this, you’re more than welcome to take exile.”
> 
> Unsurprisingly, several males- and females alike- began walking away. Several more growled and argued, but Baylor didn’t even blink. “I’m not asking,” Baylor said. “I am telling. All I am saying is to be decent people. This camp has its reputation as the most ruthless camp of all. You’re dangerous for not being merciful. Instead for being mean, heartless and hateful. How much more dangerous can we get if we utilize every weapon in our arsenal? We will keep our reputation, but we’ll make it mean something.”

Stars streaked across the night sky, twining together, dancing, lighting up the world. Rhys, the High Lord of the Night Court, held his son and pointed up at the stars. His son couldn't hear him, couldn't hear the music of their home. But still, Bartholomew's blue grey eyes were bright as he lifted a small, pudgy hand towards the sky, as if he could grab the stars and keep them for himself.

His son was dressed in a light blue outfit, to match his sister. Both babies nearly seven months old already. Time had a way of sneaking up on them, of making things so short. He thanked the Cauldron every minute for this.

Rhys pressed his lips to Bartholomew's temple, inhaling his scent, letting it fill his lungs. His son shrieked as another star shot across the sky. Rhys laughed quietly at the babbling of a euphoric infant among his first Starfall.

They all had begun the learning of sign language, which Amren had said transcended realms.

Rhys could feel the bond glitter between his mate and him, could feel the happiness. He looked down to see his wife and mate talking with Dacia. The High Lady of the Spring Court held his daughter, a bright smile on her red lips as she looked at Biela. Biela didn't return it, but her sole focus was indeed on Dacia's face.

Feyre had said the bone carver appeared as an eight year old boy to her, a boy with his black hair and  _violet_  eyes. Bartholomew and Biela both had her eyes, not his. Which meant…

He did not know when the day would come and they would have another child, another son who would become his heir. But for now, he would love these two, love these precious,  _precious_ moments with his mate and children. With the rest of his family.

More stars streaked across the sky and Bartholomew clapped his hands and wiggled in his arm. Rhys smiled and looked at Cassian watching his own daughter like a hawk as she danced around in her own light dress, or rather as much as a year and a half old  _could_ dance. Revelers gave the young Queen of Hybern a wide berth as she moved around, her eyes up at the sky as she whirled around- then promptly fell on her backside. Cassian took a step forward but Aysel got back up and continued her dancing. A mighty queen.

Azriel appeared next to him, quiet as death with a small bundle cradled on his chest. The boy in his arms slept like the dead, his small golden brown fists curled on his father's chest. Nikolaj was dressed in a dark onesie, a light blue blanket swaddling him. Azriel held onto the babe for dear life, a scarred hand cradling the back of Nikolaj's head, his thumb bushing through the wisps of black hair, as his hazel gold eyes watched the stars.

Rhys’s dear friend had light in his eyes, a deep…  _peace_  in his eyes, even if his face was marble. “Adrien came back,” the shadowsinger said.

Indeed.

The young shadowsinger swayed down below with a girl who had rather startling and unusual eyes, dressed in a cognac colored dress that matched her eyes, her long hair wildly curly, slightly frizzy and she smiled up at Adrien. Rhys had the feeling she wasn't one to smile often. “Do you think he'll be staying?”

Azriel was quiet for nearly half a minute, nothing passing his cool features, though his shadows darkened. “No,” he said, quietly. “I do not. He's found what he was looking for.”

He wondered if Azriel  _wanted_ Adrien to stay. He did, of course he did- but he'd never say it. He'd respect his son's wishes, even if Mor was going to have a coronary. She hadn't seen her son in over a month and had not taken it well. She'd lock him in his room if she could. Whatever Adrien had been looking for, whatever he needed to do, it appeared that Azriel was right, he found it. Judging by the smile Adrien gave the girl. “Mor’s going to hound him for details about his new lady,” Rhys said.

Azriel snorted. “Yes. He managed to show up when  _all_ of us were gone, other than Blake.”

No doubt, very intentional. Adrien was rather good at dodging people he didn't want to deal with. Much like his father. Rhys wondered what Adrien would be like as a parent, if he'd be watching and quiet as Azriel, supportive and protective as Mor,or perhaps somewhere in between like Leta. Perhaps someday they would find out.

Rhys spied the red hair of the twins, Sweet Adara pulling along a Sullen Fia. The two were close, beyond close and as opposite as Elain was with Nesta. But Fia gave into her sister's sweet smile, easily. She never had been one to tell Adara no.

If the twins were already dancing, that meant Elain and Lucien we're nearby. Ash as well. Though Ash generally came to Starfall to be with his family or Bay. He became was bored with Starfall as he couldn't  _see_ the stars- unless he used his magic.

As Rhys thought, Lucien and Elain swayed down below, Elain looking near ready to give birth. But the High Lady of the Autumn Court smiled brightly, especially as Azriel wrapped darkness around himself and winnowed down to them. Rhys watched Elain’s bright smile widen as she looked at the baby in the Spymaster's arms. Elain put a hand on her large belly and combed her fingers through the wisps of black hair on the sleeping babe’s head. Whatever she said, it made Azriel smile.

\---

Mor pulled Leta with her, her wife’s smile brighter than any star in the sky as she looked at Mor. Yes, this. This female, her family and her boys. Everything she had been through- it was worth it. For this.

Mor spied her second eldest, she spied  _Adrien_ , with a girl. Her head snapped to Leta, who showed no surprise on her beautiful face. She knew about this! Mor pushed past the people until she was right in front of her son and the girl with him. Adrien turned his hazel eyes to her, annoyed and unsurprised. “Deanna,” he sighed. “This is my mother, Morrigan.”

Mor frowned at the exasperation in her son’s voice. “You have been gone for a  _month_ , Adrien Verrum. Don't you use that tone with me. You may be twenty years old but I am  _still_  your mother.”

Let's squeezed her hand and softly chastised, “ _Mor_.”

She sighed loudly and turned to the girl, whose face was smoothed into neutrality. “How did you and my son meet? I can't imagine he managed to meet you at random in the middle of a rutting  _forest_.”

The girl winced and Adrien said, “She snuck up behind me and tried to kill me.”

“I'm sorry,  _what did you say_?”

Deanna gave Adrien an incredulous look and Adrien  _smiled_ at her. “I guess I was just too pretty for her to kill.”

Leta snorted and Deanna glared at her son. “If I had known you'd be making  _jokes_ , Adrien, I wouldn't have changed my mind.”

Adrien's smile grew, his eyes crinkling and Mor knew- this girl, was something special. If she could make her son  _smile_ that easily… “I like you,” Mor said to her. Deanna turned to look at her, her face smooth and neutral, and Mor got a look at her eyes. So unusual. Knowing Adrien- that probably was what drew him in. He always did love eyes.  _Eyes can’t lie_ , he said. “Enjoy Starfall, dear. Please refrain from trying to kill him, I’d hate to have to kill  _you_.”

Mor could almost see Adrien’s struggle between rolling his eyes and glaring at her. She would have done it, if the girl- if  _anyone_ tried to kill her son. And she would take her time- that is if Azriel didn’t get to her first.

Deanna inclined her head and Mor let Leta pull her away.

\------

Feyre talked easily with Dacia. While a small part of her was worried about the High Lady holding her daughter, especially since she knew Dacia had… trouble controlling her abilities, Feyre also knew Dacia would sooner strike herself down than hurt an infant.

Dacia held Biela so carefully, the smile she gave Biela could light up an entire room. Dacia carefully brushed a thumb over Biela’s tan cheek and said, “She is so beautiful, Feyre. I am so happy for you and Rhysand.”

Feyre felt herself smile as she looked at her daughter. Biela didn’t smile back, but her eyes were transfixed on Dacia’s face as she reached out to touch Dacia’s long hair. Her daughter had her eyes, but she did not see herself in BIela’s eyes. She saw Nesta.

Feyre had the feeling Biela was going to be like her eldest sister and her heart dropped a little at the thought of Nesta never meeting her daughter. “Thank you, Cia.”

Biela’s wings, as small as they were, held such sharp talons. Both the twins showed their wings a few months after being born. She was going to have a heart attack when they started flying.

Dacia’s smile softened as Biela leaned forward to touch Dacia’s face. Her small hand brushed the High Lady’s cheek, blue grey eyes searching for something. A little queen. Biela had already proven to be a little menace in the morning, when it came to getting ready or just trying to get her to nap. Though Rhys seemed to be able to get her to do so. Especially as she had a habit of falling asleep on her father’s chest. To Rhys's eternal delight.

Dacia swayed with Feyre’s daughter, her green dress shifting with her. Biela squealed and Dacia pressed her lips to Bielas hair, inhaling her scent. Something flickered in the High Lady's eyes and she looked closer at her. Dacia's eyes sharpened in confusion but immediately smoothed out, completely neutral. “Someone likes to dance,” she said lightly, poking Biela's belly. “I bet Mor will be thrilled.”

Feyre laughed. “I bet.”

Biela clapped her hands and Feyre could only watch Dacia interact with her daughter. There were very few people Biela tolerated, as she was such a tempermental little girl, but it would seem that The High Lady of the Spring Court was one of those people.

Interesting.

\---

Nate was relieved. He was happy and relieved and just-  _happy_. Baylor wrapped his arms around him and pressed his forehead to Nate's chest. They danced quietly, listening to the soft music of Starfall and Nate was so afraid he'd wake up and all of this would be a dream.

Nate closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Baylor's head, inhaling his mate's clove and cypress scent, entwined with his own. He lifted his mate's chin and those light eyes met his. Open and unguarded. Nate kissed him.

His mate's lips were soft and warm despite the almost fully healed cut to his lip. Nate barely felt the arms going around his neck, tugging him down into a deeper kiss. The bond between them grew tighter, stronger as it wove itself more and more into something unbreakable.

Baylor's hand touched his face, so carefully, so gingerly, as if handling eggshells and Nate felt his control start to slip. He felt those scarred fingers plunge into his hair and he felt himself start to smile. Baylor always did like his hair.

Baylor pulled back and looked up at him, nothing flickering on his face, but his eyes glowed. “I love you, Nathaniel,” he said, so softly. “Always.”

Nate brushed a thumb over Baylor's bottom lip. “I love you too, Baylor.”

Baylor searched his face for a long heartbeat before just resting his head on Nate's chest. They watched the stars streak across the sky, twirling and twinkling and bright as ever. He had wanted this.. for so long. Baylor and his quiet stubbornness. Baylor and his fragile hope. Just _-_ him. Baylor could choose anyone, anyone at all, and he chose him.

Nate closed his eyes and let the night wash over him. Starfall was a magical thing.

\----

Blake danced and danced with Aurora and watched the sky with her. Her dark eyes lit up at the streaking stars. Last year he had danced with Dacia, had danced with other girls. But this year he had his mate. He brushed the thick curtain of black hair over her shoulder, his eyes going to the slight bruise and he felt his mouth go dry. She looked at him and smiled. “You're drooling, Sunshine.”

“Can you blame me?”

She curled her arms around his neck and said, “I suppose not.”

He grinned down at her, his fingers running up the plane of her bare back. He had those damn tattoos memorized and seared into his head. This girl was… something else. Something powerful and full of light, bright as the moon. The bond between them glittered and he dipped his head to kiss her. Her lotus and honey scent filled his nose and he kissed her deeper, taking that scent into his lungs, into his bones.

She had given him an earful yesterday, about what happened between him and Dacia and he had deserved her ire. Both of theirs. If he hadn't been such a damn coward it would have never gotten to that point. Blake parted from her in time to see Dacia cross the courtyard to them.

Aurora hooked her arms around Dacia and hugged her. Dacia smiled and hugged her back. Blake swallowed the growl in his throat especially as those emerald eyes shifted to him, in warning. Dacia did not tolerate possessive behaviour well; even if she had a bit of a problem herself when it came to such. She could very easily put Blake in his place if she truly wanted to. Even in that dress. And heels. Mother knew she used them often enough she’d probably use them as a weapon.

“Aurora,” she said, turning back to his mate. “Do you mind if I steal your mate for a dance?”

“Of course not,” she said, smiling at her. “Just return him in one piece. I’d hate to have to break in a new lover.”

Blake snorted and they watched Aurora slip into the crowd. Dacia turned back to him, with those heels she was shy of two inches shorter than him. “Bond chafing?” She asked, knowingly. He rolled his eyes and she hooked her arms around his neck. “I'm happy for you, Blake.”

Blake put his hands on her hips and they began to dance. It always had been like this. They danced, they laughed and they were insanely close. Even if he deserved to get the hell beat out of him for how he treated her. He hoped it would always be like this, that she would always be his best friend. He used to wonder what it would have been like, if Dacia hadn’t preferred females, what their relationship would have been like.

-

_Ten-year-old Blake squirmed in his seat, watching Dacia dance with his little brother. She tipped her head back and laughed at something Nate said. Something in his chest twisted and_ what  _could she_ possibly  _find about a six year old funny? But those emerald eyes turned to him and he felt his face heat._

_She kissed Nate's cheek and ushered him to Blake's mother and came back to sit next to him. They sat on the bench, watching Nate bug his mother when she said, “Do you like girls?”_

_Blake shot up and whipped his head to her. But she wasn't looking at him, she was looking at his mothers’ laughing together. Confliction warred on her pretty face. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Do you like boys?”_

_She looked at him and whispered, “I don't know.”_

_“Well,” Blake said, scratching his cheek. “You could kiss a boy to see?” Her brows narrowed and for a moment Blake thought he said something wrong._

_“Can I kiss you?”_

_Blake felt his ears burn. “_ Me _?” She nodded and he stammered, “I- I guess? Why?”_

“ _Because you're my best friend.”_

_Who was he to argue with that logic? He nodded and carefully leaned forward as she did. Her lips brushed his and something in his chest swelled and she pulled back far too quickly for his liking, her cheeks pinked. He cleared his throat. “Well? Feel anything different?”_

_She shook her head and said, “No. You?”_

Yes.

_“I guess,” he said. She arched a brow and he rushed out, “but I also like girls. If you don't feel anything when_ I  _kiss you then_ obviously  _you don't like boys.”_

_She snorted and he hooked an arm around her neck, pulling her closer. So she didn’t like boys, then. That was okay. This was okay. Besides- they were friends. No matter what. Hopefully._

-

Blake smiled at her and he said, “For what it's worth, I hope you find someone who realizes how great you are.”

She turned those emerald eyes up to him, full of light and wry humor. “I am pretty great, huh?”

Blake kissed her cheek. “The best,” he promised. “After me that is.”

Dacia rolled her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder and they danced in silence. Blake curled a lock of hair behind her ear and pressed his lips to her temple. He hoped she’d find someone. She didn’t deserve to be alone in that court of poison.

\----

Bay closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of his mate, feeling the soft beating of his mate’s heart against his cheek. Nate was his mate.  _Nate_ was his mate. He felt Nate grip his chin and Bay looked up at Nate's dark, hungry eyes. Yes, he supposed Nate had been starving for a while, hadn't he. Seven months. Seven months too long.

Bay curled his arms around his mate's neck and tugged him down into a kiss. Nate's arm hooked around his waist, pulling him closer, as if trying to meld Bay into his body.

Bay’s fingers plunged into Nate’s hair, his body moving on his own as he pulled Nate further into his mouth. His blood thrummed in his veins, his heart in his chest. He could  _feel_ him, in the bond, on the other side of it. He could feel nothing but Nate.

Bay pulled back, chest heaving as he looked up at Nate’s black eyes. “Take me to your room,” he rasped. “Now.”

Nate gave him a blinding smile but he cocked his head. “You don’t want to watch the stars?”

Bay smiled. “I would rather fuck my mate.”

Nate’s eyes gleamed and swallowed him whole. Bay hooked his arms around Nate’s neck and let his mate tug him close, his darkness wrapping around them both and Nate winnowed to the house. To Nate’s room.

The very moment Nate threw up the shield, Nate pushed Bay back against the wall. His mouth finding Bay’s own. Slender fingers tugged the shirt out of Bay’s pants, brushed up his bare, unscarred back, brushing the base of his wings. A shudder racked through Bay’s body and Nate grinned against Bay’s mouth.

Prick.  _Prick_.

Bay fisted Nate’s shirt and pushed him backwards. A cocky grin graced Nate’s face and Bay pushed him towards the bed, he pushed him onto the mattress and straddled his hips. Bay pressed a kiss to Nate’s lips, his jaw as he unbuttoned Nate’s shirt and spread it open. He could feel Nate’s erection trapped against his pants. Bay’s fingers wrapped around Nate’s wrists before he had the chance to flip them. He looked down at Nate’s blown out eyes and said, “ No. I’m riding you.”

Nate’s brows shot up but Bay could feel Nate’s approval glittering in the bond. Heat pressed against Bay’s cheeks as Nate said, “And here I thought  _I_ was forward.” Bay snorted. “Don’t let me stop you, Baylor. Do with me what you will.”

Bay released Nate’s wrists and pressed his hands to Nate’s chest as he leaned forward and kissed him softly. He let Nate unbutton his shirt, let Nate’s fingers brush reverently against the scars on his chest. His ears burned. The scars… didn’t bother him as they used to. They were proof he was alive, proof he was a warrior; a fighter. David may have marred his flesh but Nate healed his battered soul.

Nate had seen the very worst of him, had seen the cruelty, the ice and the hate and he didn’t shy away from it. He didn’t look at him with disgust, he didn’t judge. Nate saw something in him worth loving and no scar was going to change that. Nate’s love was beyond understanding.

He’d been a fool to try to question it- to question  _Nate-_ when he should have just loved him.

The kiss deepened as Bay’s hand slipped down Nate’s flushed, toned golden brown chest and past the waist of his pants. A groan drug from Nate’s throat as Bay palmed him, as Bay stroked him. His own erection strained painfully against his pants and he nearly whimpered at the feeling of Nate’s thumb bruising over the fabric.

Bay pulled apart from Nate long enough for them to discard his clothes and he was back in Nate’s lap, his fingers in Nate’s long hair, his mouth on Nate’s, sucking on his lip ring. He heard the drawer open and knew Nate was using his magic to get the oil from inside. Cauldron he loved magic.

He barely heard Nate slick his fingers over the pounding of his heart. Deft fingers slid down past his hips, down the cleft of his ass to press a finger inside him. Bay keened forward, almost too impatient to let Nate do what he needed. Nate worked Bay open and Bay pressed his lips to Nate's unmarred throat. He took the apples and lavender deep into his lungs and sunk his teeth into Nate’s skin.

Blood filled his mouth.

He hadn’t let another male bite him,  _he_ didn’t bite another male. A part of him hadn’t let go of Nate when he fucked the other males. Perhaps- that part of him- it had been the bond. He hadn’t let anyone else bite him because the only person Bay wanted to have that right- was the one who genuinely loved him. Not a random male who he wouldn’t even remember the next morning.

He flicked the wounds shut and moved his mouth back to Nate’s. Bay’s scarred fingers cupped Nate’s face and he pulled back and looked down at those black predatorial eyes and brushed his thumb over Nate’s bottom lip. “I need you inside me,” Bay rasped. “Nathaniel, please.”

Nate’s smile was nothing short of wicked, bright and unrestrained. Something he could wear walking into hell itself and return unscathed. Nate pulled out his fingers and Bay whimpered as he took Nate inch by inch and let out a breath when he finally bottomed out. This was quite possibly the best feeling he had ever experienced.

“Breathe,” Nate murmured into his neck.

HIs entire mind went quiet at the full feeling of Nate inside him. Bay bit into Nate’s shoulder and rolled his hips forward. HIs entire body shuddered and Bay’s eyes closed at the light caress of Nate’s long fingers sliding up his back, along the spine of his wings.

Nate’s shadows disappeared and Bay buried his face in Nate’s neck, his fingers into Nate’s back. He traced the light scars on Nate’s back- from Bay’s own nails. Heat pressed against Bay’s cheeks. He highly doubted Nate cared about Bay marking him like that.

Tears pricked behind Bay’s eyes as he nuzzled deeper into Nate’s neck. His heart swelled and Bay didn’t know how he could be  _this_ happy. Nate was his.  _Nate_ was his in every way possible. The Mother gave him Nate. The Mother gave him the best person he had ever known and said he was  _worthy_ of someone like Nate. Bay barely choked back a sob and he lifted his head to kiss Nate on the mouth.

He put everything he had in this kiss. He put the scars, the tears, the pain into this kiss. He put the light, the love, the laughter into this kiss. He put everything he owned into this kiss because of everyone, Nate was everything to him. There were no string of words Bay could put together to describe what Nate meant to him.

The kiss deepened and Nate brushed a proprietary hand down Bay’s backside as Bay rocked into him. Yes. He was Nate’s. He had been Nate’s since the day they met. Since before then, since before the day Bay was born. He always had been Nate’s and Nate had always, always been his. The Mother decreed it. The  _Mother_ said he was Nate’s and that Nate was his. She wouldn’t have given him Nate if he wasn’t worthy of him. She wouldn’t have done that to Nate.

Nate pulled back from him, face flushed and eyes dark with desire and love. He brushed a thumb across Bay’s bottom lip. “Every day,” Nate said, hoarsely. “Every day I will prove it to you. I will prove you are forever mine and I am forever yours.”

Bay blushed deeply and he felt Nate tug on the bond. Nate heard every unspoken word. His mate pulled him deeper into his lap and Bay gently pushed Nate back down onto the pillows and kissed him deeper, hungrier. He had no doubt Nate would hold true to his promise. Nate’s hands plunged into Bay’s hair and Bay put an arm beside Nate’s head, rolling his hips further into him. Bay groaned deeply as he felt shadows brush against the spine of his wings.

Bay pulled everything Nate was into his lungs and let it ruin him. He stroked himself and moved to kiss Nate’s throat. His scent- that blessed scent filled everything he was and holy cauldron his teeth ached. They ached so much and Nate only turned his head. The bite from before was still there, though it was nearly healed. Bay just moved the hair out of the way and sunk his teeth in.

Blood filled his mouth and his teeth sunk deeper, harsher into a claiming and Bay barely heard Nate’s groan over the pounding of his own heart. Bay rolled his hips forward as Nate’s fingers drug up Bay’s slick back. Bay pressed his hand to Nate’s chest and he wasn’t sure if his teeth were going to scar Nate’s neck. His cock ached at the primal part of himself that wished he would.

He flicked the wounds shut and pulled back. Nate looked up at him, a hand slipping up the base of his wing, tearing a shudder through him and Nate’s eyes sparked and crinkled. Nate ran a thumb over Bay’s bottom lip and sucked the blood from his thumb before tugging Bay back down into a kiss. Nate’s tongue slipped into his mouth easily, his hips rolling back into him. Nate’s cock hit  _just_ there and Bay shattered completely.

Nate rolled his hips into him once, twice and shattered inside him. Bay collapsed onto his mate and panted as he caught his breath. The bond between them glittered and wound around Bay’s soul. He was never letting go of Nate again.

\----

Adrien had watched- or rather felt- Nate’s shadows twist around himself and Bay and disappear. He knew they were off, probably accepting the bond between each other and if he knew them like he thought, they’d be at home. Which meant, if Adrien valued his life, or his balls, he’d be much better off if he didn’t go home. Which was well enough, he wanted to get out of Velaris unscathed.

His mothers’ disappeared after a while and Adrien danced for a bit before he felt his father coming towards them. He bit back his sigh, this was why he didn’t want to come to Starfall, his family were all busybodies. Though his father was much,  _much_ less tiresome than the rest.

Azriel Verrum came quietly up to them, a small baby in his arms. Nik. His brother seemed to have grown a lot during the last month. And he almost looked exactly like Nate. Same hair, same golden brown skin. But Adrien got the very distinct feeling this one was going to be far more troublemaking than Nate ever was. His father’s golden eyes slipped to Deanna and he dipped his head into a hello.

Deanna’s eyes widened, almost imperceptibly while she looked from him to Adrien and then back again. “Okay,” she said, “ _This_ makes sense.”

Adrien snorted and a blush rose up on is father’s cheeks. Azriel slipped his eyes to him and guestered for Adrien to take Nik. Adrien took him and his brother curled against his chest, sleeping soundly. His family had been blessed when it came to children, it seemed. He and Blake and Nate had all been born within five years of each other.

“This is my father, Azriel,” Adrien said, cupping the back of Nik’s head. “Sir, this is Deanna Alanis.”

Not a flicker of surprise showed in his father’s stony face. Deanna met his father stare for stare, her face as neutral as his. But Adrien could feel the approval in his father’s shadows. He listened quietly to them talk while he brushed a thumb through Nik’s wispy black hair. Adrien pressed his lips to Nik’s head, breathing in his sandalwood and ocean scent.

After they finished talking his father disappeared through the crowd, leaving Nik with him. Which was fine, he hadn’t seen Nik in… so long. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to give his brother back anyways. Deanna slipped up beside him to get a better look at Nik. her brows furrowed a bit as she brushed a thumb across Nik’s cheek. His brother yawned widely and opened his eyes. The sleepy babe’s eyes were dark, dark brown. Just like Nate’s.

“Does he have wings?” she asked.

“Probably,” Adrien said, brushing a thumb down Nik’s back. “He’s still pretty young. Especially since he’s half high fae. They could be glamoured. It’s not like my father or Cassian. They were born full Illyrian. Nate’s wings showed up when he was… about three months? Maybe? Though we’re all different.”

“Hmm.”

\-----------

Ash led Celeste through the crowd. The healer had her hair swept out of her face and curled to the side. His mother had helped her get into the backless navy blue dress and gemstone combs. It had been an effort all night to keep his hands to himself and by the look his mother gave him, she knew it too. As did his father.

Celeste hooked her arms around his neck and he sensed her looking up at him, those cobalt eyes searching his face. He could almost see the smile that graced her lips. Ash slipped a hand up her arm and lifted her chin and he kissed her. Her fingers threaded in his hair and Ash kissed her deeper.

Starfall tended to bore him but this… this was definitely worth coming for. One of the few nights a year when his entire family was together and Celeste… he had zero intention of ever letting her go. THough if he had his way about it, he would much rather be back at home, in bed with her. Preferably without these damn dress clothes. Or any clothes for that matter.

Ash brought her scent deep into his lungs and let it ground him. Few people, if any, could smother the fire in his blood. He cradled her face and kissed her deeper. He felt her fingers curl around his wrist and Ash could do this forever.

\-------

Nate reluctantly pulled Baylor to the bathroom to clean up. They showered and Nate had done more kissing than washing and pulled Baylor back to bed. He didn’t bother with pants but he did put his mate in one of his hooded sweatshirts before crawling into bed with him. Baylor curled against his chest, his arm around Nate, almost possessively. Almost as if he was intent on never letting Nate out of his sight again.

Something Nate was more than okay with.

Nate turned and brushed the damp light hair out of Baylor’s eyes and kissed him. He cradled Baylor’s face and deepened the kiss. The bond between grew tight, stronger and was a living thing between them. Nate brushed a thumb across Baylor’s scarred cheek and inhaled his cypress and clove scent. He’d bottle this scent if he could. Keep it with him forever.

Baylor parted from him, his light eyes blown out as he looked up at him. There was a spark in them, something Nate hadn’t seen in.. so long. Baylor’s freckled face was flushed from the shower and kissing. Baylor touched Nate’s face gingerly, almost afraid he’d disappear. “You’re mine,” he said quietly, as if he couldn’t believe it.

Nate took his hand and kissed Baylor’s palm. Blush rose up on Baylor’s flushed face. After all this, he could still blush at the slightest thing Nate did. He fucking  _loved it_. “Say it again.”

Baylor’s eyes crinkled and he gently pushed Nate onto his back and climbed back on top of him. Nate slipped a hand up Baylor’s thigh and Baylor looked down at him with glowing eyes. “You’re all fucking mine.”

Nate grinned up at him and Baylor’s eyes slipped to Nate’s throat. Nate turned his head wordlessly, letting his mate at what he wanted. He closed his eyes at the soft brush of lips, at the warm breath and groaned softly as Baylor’s teeth sunk into his flesh.

\---------

Hours later, Bay carefully sat up, trying to not wake Nate. He watched Nate’s smooth face turn towards him. Bay slipped from the bed and pulled a pair of pajama pants on and slipped out of Nate’s room. Everything was dark but he could hear the rustling in Blake’s room. With Aurora. He tried to not be grossed out.

Bay quietly moved to the kitchen and sat at the counter, brushing his fingers along the bites on his neck. Nate bit him plenty,  _he_ had bit Nate plenty and he could barely piece it together. That Nate was his mate. He heard someone come out into the room and looked to see Mor coming out with a baby against her chest; Nik.

She looked at him and smiled as she came into the room and grabbed something out of the ice box before fixing a bottle for the babbling baby. She looked at him over her shoulder and said, “Want to hold him?”

“Uh-”

Babies. Aysel was one thing… but another one?  _Nate’s_ brother?

“Sure,” Bay relented.

Her face lit up and she slipped over next to him and carefully put Nik in Bay’s arms. He looked down at the baby blinking blearily at him while Mor went about finishing the bottle. He hadn’t realized how big Nik had gotten in the last month but holy gods he was so big and had Nate’s eyes. Mor carefully took him back and Nik latched onto the bottle like a man lost in the desert. His small pudgy hands securely in place. “So how are you handling the bond?”

Bay nearly choked. “Okay,” he said slowly. “ It hasn’t been too overwhelming yet.”

Mor leaned forward her dark eyes- Nate’s dark eyes- pinning him in place. “Nate’s been beside himself,” she said quietly. “You left him alone and he’s handled it so poorly. He gives and gives his heart to people but he can’t handle when people drop it. Don’t drop it this time, Bay. He only has one.”

Heat of shame pressed against his cheeks and Bay made himself not look down or away from her. “I know,” he said quietly. “Nate deserved better than what I did and I’ll always regret it.”

She looked at him for a long moment, her face harsh and the picture of motherly love at the same time. “Good. I’ll leave you be. Good night, Bay.”

“Good night.”

Bay watched her walk back down the hall, her head dipped down as she whispered to her son. Bay turned back to the counter and let out a soft sigh. SHe was right. Of course she was right. Nate gave and gave so much. But really- he hadn’t had all that many relationships. Sex, yes. But relationships not so much. And Nate still chose him. Even after Bay broke Nate’s heart. He was intent on never doing it again.

Bay swiped an apple from the counter and walked back to Nate’s bedroom to see Nate sitting up in bed with a white sheet twisted around his hips. Bay leaned against the doorframe as Nate looked at him and let out a breath. “There you are.”

Bay cocked his head. “I told you I wasn’t leaving,” Bay said. “Not unless you wanted me gone.”

Nate smiled at him. “I thought I might have been dreaming.”

Bay arched a brow. “Have many sex dreams, do you?”

Nate snorted. “You know what I mean.” Bay did. He threw the apple towards Nate and his mate easily caught it. His eyes turned big and he said, “Baylor-”

“Are you turning down the food I’m offering you?” Bay asked, quietly.

Nate’s eyes snapped back to the apple and he took a big bite out of it. Bay came and slipped onto the bed beside him and took the apple from him and bit into it. Nate watched him with predatory stillness as Bay chewed the piece. Between the two of them, they finished the apple in a few bites and Nate threw it in the small garbage can.

The apple core had barely hit the tin can when Nate draped himself over Bay and kissed him deeply. Bay kissed back without hesitation, his legs wrapping around Nate’s waist easily and without much of a thought. An arm braced beside Bay’s head and Bay hooked his arms around Nate’s neck and pulled him deeper into Bay’s lips.

Who needed sleep when he had Nate?

\-----

Nate and his mate barely slept at all last night. They spent the whole time kissing and fucking and talking and touching. He was more than okay with this. Nate got maybe an hour of sleep before he woke up with Baylor asleep on his chest. Nate couldn’t help but card his fingers through Baylor’s light hair.

His mate blinked his eyes open and looked up at him, blearily. “Morning.”

Nate smiled at him. “Good morning.”

Baylor carefully sat up and rubbed his eyes. Nate’s own eye were on the bruises and bites still healing on his mate’s neck, half hidden beneath the collar of the hooded sweatshirt. It took everything to not push him back down on the bed and take him again. Instead Nate rolled his shoulders and got up from the bed and slipped a pair of pajama bottoms and pulled Baylor from the bed and to the door. But before they could get out, Nate cradled his mate’s face and kissed him deeply.

Baylor’s nails bit into his back as he tugged Nate closer. He would like nothing more than to just stay in this room and fuck his mate to the point neither of them could move, but they needed food. Unfortunately. Baylor pulled away first, his face flushed and eyes bright as he wove his fingers in Nate’s and tugged him out of the room.

The smell of bacon was thick in the air as they got to the kitchen. Blake was at the stove, shirtless and Aurora was at the counter, drinking a cup of tea, in a large sweater and leggings, her inky black hair hanging loose around her shoulders. She took one look at them and smiled. “Want some food?”

Baylor nodded and Nate pulled him over with him to the stools and made sure Baylor’s was as next to him as possible as they sat. Baylor belined for the coffee and came back to sit next to him, taking a drink of the sugar infused caffeine. Nate slipped his hand on his mate’s thigh. “Yeah,” Baylor said, pitch a little too high. “Whatever you’re having.”

Blake snorted from the stove. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one cooking.” Baylor blushed deeply as Blake turned around to brace his hands on the table, his eyes going to the bites disappearing beneath the collar of the sweater. “Seems we weren’t the only ones up late last night, hmm?”

Blake had zero room to talk, there were bites on his shoulders as well. But unlike Baylor, Aurora wasn’t blushing. Nate growled at his brother and Blake slipped those eyes to his, meeting and directing the challenge. “Mating bond chafing, boys?”

Nate almost got up from the table but Baylor-  _Baylor-_ snapped his eyes on Blake and there was nothing but pure frost in his mate’s eyes as he pulled back his lips and bared his teeth, a far more animal growl than Nate’s sitting in the bottom of his throat. Nate kept his hand firmly on Baylor’s thigh to stop him from jumping his brother. But Blake’s grin was making that  _difficult_.

Aurora smacked Blake’s arm and gave him a pointed look. “ _Blake_.”

Blake clicked his tongue but pulled back and kissed Aurora’s cheek before going back to the stove. But Baylor’s eyes were still pinned on Blake’s relaxed, bruised shoulders. Blake still had problems with his and Aurora’s bond being new but he’s had nearly a month to adjust so far.  _Baylor-_

Nate rubbed his mate’s thigh soothingly, keeping him seated and  _not_ murdering his brother. Though there’s an even match between Blake and Baylor, but with a male who  _just_ mated the night before…

_He's more territorial than I am and that really means something._

Cassian had said those words to him, not even a week before. Nate pressed his lips to his mate’s shoulder and slightly dug his fingers in Baylor’s thigh to draw his attention from Blake and back onto him. It took nearly half a minute before the fight in Baylor’s shoulders unwound.

Nate didn’t dare take his hand off his mate’s leg as he turned to Aurora, who’s dark eyes were pinned on them while at the same time careful of triggering the primal side of the bond. “Did you enjoy Starfall?” she asked Bay lightly, her fingers wrapping around her mug.

Baylor blinked blankly at her. “Of course. I’m from the Night Court.”

Aurora snorted and she took a long drink from her tea while Blake slipped a plate of bacon on the table and sat next to her. Nate helped himself to a piece while the others did. They say in silence for a long minute before Aurora said, “We're going dancing tonight, if you two want to come.”

Blake's head whipped to her and he said, “Yeah, I thought we were going  _alone_.”

Aurora slipped her dark eyes to Blake and she gave him a look that had his mouth snapping shut and returning back to food. She smiled at Nate and he said, “Sure.” Blake glowered into his food and Nate said, “Since Sunshine’s going to be bitchy. Right Baylor?”

Baylor's eyes were pinned on Blake, even if his shoulders were relaxed and he was eating. “Sure,” Baylor said coolly, taking a bite of his bacon. “Whatever my mate wants.”

Nate grinned.

“Perhaps we should bring Ash and his lady with us,” Aurora said, reluctantly. “Get to know Celeste.”

Baylor’s face was completely blank. “Okay,” he said, neutrally.

\--------

Adrien carefully pulled his clothes on and looked at Deanna still asleep in his bed. Her curly hair fanned over her bare back and face smoothed out by sleep. He decided to let her sleep and grabbed his things before quietly heading out towards the camp.

A few females were out and about and cast him curious looks, but they were starting to not be as wary of him as when they first arrived. Something, he was glad for. It was hard enough to focus on doing his work when he was feeling their uncertainty about him. Though he supposed it helped that he didn’t speak to them and he kept his distance and worked the entire time.

He set about working and several hours later, when the sun was high up in the sky, the familiar presence of not Deanna, but Nina appeared and he stopped working and pulled his wings in tight when she came up to him, dread crossing her features. “What’s wrong?”

“Hello Adrien,” she said, a smile curling up on her face.

Adrien folded his arms over her chest and pinned his eyes on her. Her emotions bounced between dread and hope and the genuine happiness of seeing him. “What’s. Wrong. Nina.”

“Papi knows Deanna’s been seeing you.”

“And?”

He didn’t need anyone other than Deanna’s permission when it came to their… relationship. Neither had brought up  _what_ their relationship was, though Adrien liked her enough he wasn’t interested in anyone else. He didn’t need her father’s permission or his own parents. Just hers.

“He wants to meet you. Tonight.”

Adrien unfolded his arms and thought about it. She had already met his, even if his hand had been forced on the matter. If he had his way  _no one_ would know about it. And it wasn’t from shame or anything else. He just didn’t want anyone to know his damn business.

“What does Deanna say?”

“She doesn’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do,” Nina said. “Though  _my_ opinion in the matter, you probably should. Our father is very protective and isn’t above castrating pretty boys who look too long as his daughters.”

Adrien snorted. “I’ll go.”

She gave him a slightly savage grin. “You’re in for a world of hurt, Adrien Verrum.”

Adrien gave her a dark smile. “I’ve been through worse.”

\--------

Celeste dressed in a dark red thin strapped beaded dress that went a few inches above her knees. It looked more beautiful than anything she had ever owned in her life. Elain helped her do her hair and now Celeste looked in the floor length mirror in Ash’s room carefully. Her thin body had put on weight this last month, had given her soft curves instead of the frail thinness of near starvation. Some color came into her skin and she didn’t look half dead anymore. She looked… nice.

She looked over her shoulder to see Ash leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest as he blatantly stared at her. She felt her face heat and a grin curled up on his face, wrinkling his bright green eyes. “You look beautiful,” he said, looking her over sowly. “I almost don’t want to go out. I’d rather stay here and peel that off you.”

She turned around and folded her arms over her chest. “You didn’t need to get me a dress,” she said, stubbornly. “You barely-”

His eyes locked onto hers. “DId you own anything to wear to a club?” he asked, already knowing the answer. It wasn't mocking or cruel, just a simple question.

He pushed off the wall and came up to her. His own clothes were immaculate. A teal jacket that was obviously tailored to him specifically and a shirt and pants just as fit. His long red hair pulled back with a strap of brown leather at the base of his neck.

“No,” she said.

A half smile curled on his face. “I don't mind buying you things, Celeste. What's mine is yours, for however long you like. Besides, my mother is beside herself with glee that she now has someone responsible to keep an eye on me.”

Celeste snorted. “I’m surprised you’re still alive,” she said. “As reckless as you are, I’m surprised you haven’t burned yourself to nothing but ash by now.”

He put a hand over his heart. “But I  _am_ Ash.”

She gave him a flat look. “You know what I mean,” she said. “You’re hiding behind your quick temper and burning yourself out because you can’t be hurt so you’re hurting yourself the only way you know how. It’s not recklessness. It’s purely methodical, isn’t it?”

His face smoothed over and a flicker of the cruelty of the autumn court shone in his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, with a lethal quiet. The temperature in the room spiked and Celeste forced herself to not look away.

“Don’t I?” she asked quietly.

He held her gaze, his face carved from marble and a cold fire burned in his eyes. How far was Ash willing to go to protect people, how far was he willing to go to make himself susceptible to pain. What kind of  _guilt_ did he carry?

“Ash.”

A tic worked in his jaw and for the second time, Ash showed a side of himself that swelled with the power of an Heir to a High Lord, let alone a High Lord of one of the cruelest courts in Prythian. She had no doubt Ash could be just as vicious when pushed too hard.

But he nodded towards the door. “We should go,” he clipped out. “Bay’s anal about punctuality.”

She let out a soft sigh as he shoved his hands in his pockets and started out of the room with the elegance of his title. She followed after him, turning off the lights and shutting the door.

\-----

Deanna stopped herself from fidgeting as Adrien walked in step with her, his shoulders relaxed and wings sharp and lethal. He had the nerve to actually show his wings- to show he was half Illyrian. Not that she had a problem with that- but her father on the other hand…

They got to her house- which was looming and very obvious she was from wealth. She nearly looked at Adrien, to see what he thought but he just pressed a hand to the small of her back and continued forward.

They got to the front door to see Nina waiting by the archway in a dress and her naturally curly hair curly for once and as she looked at Adrien, a smile broke out on her face. But she didn’t dare take a step towards him as Deanna gave her sister a look. It wasn’t like he was her mate… but that still didn’t stop whatever primal part of her wanted Adrien to herself. But by the half curl of a smirk ghosting Adrien’s face, he knew it too.

They walked through her house silently, going through the coldness of the place. There were no decorations, no real color or softness. She was acutely aware of Adrien taking it all in as the walked back towards her rooms, his face the picture of neutrality.

They slipped inside and Adrien looked her room over and then looked at her. “And I thought my family was wealthy.” She shrugged and he said, “Your wealth the result of killing people?”

There was zero judgement in those seven words, just knowing and vague curiosity. She  _had_ been trying to kill him when he showed up. It wouldn’t surprise her if he had pieced it all together the moment he met her. “Yes.”

Adrien nodded, mostly to himself as he said, “Okay.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“I’ve killed people in cold blood,” he said, eyes turning to hers. “My mate’s father. I’ve ripped a camp lord’s wings from his back in front of my brothers. I slaughtered males in the Blood Rite. I’ve killed plenty, and I’ll most likely kill again. I don’t care, Deanna. I just care that you’re safe.”

He ripped someone’s wings off?

She thought about the scars she traced when they were in bed, she thought about how he said touching wings without invitation was a good way to get a hand severed. But by the sheer intensity in his golden eyes, she didn’t doubt him.

The bedroom door opened, revealing not Nina, but Rosa. Her sister could rival herself when it came to sheer iciness. Rosa’s brown eyes met Adrien’s and her brows narrowed as she took in his wings. “Dinner’s in thirty minutes,” she clipped out. “Be ready by then.”

Before Deanna or Adrien could say a word, Rosa turned on her heel and left with a soft click of the door. Deanna turned to Adrien and he was already coming up to her and scooping her up and dropping her down onto the bed.

Adrien climbed up, nearly on top of her, a hand brushing her thigh as grinned down at her. “I can think of something to do for the next twenty minutes while we wait.”

\----

Thirty minutes later Adrien had readjusted his clothes and his hair. He could still taste Deanna on his tongue, could still scent her in his nose. She led him down a long hallway towards the dining room where two males sat- along with Nina and who Adrien assumed was also her sister.

But as Deanna's eyes landed on one of the males with long gleaming black hair and cognac eyes, Deanna's icy face transformed into a bright smile as she took off in a dead run, towards him. The male was barely standing when she launched into him and hugged him tightly.

The man kissed her head and hugged her tightly before pulling back and pinching her cheek. “ _Mi niña hermosa_ ,” he said with a grin. “ _Cómo está mi querida sobrina_?” (“My beautiful girl, how is my dear niece?)

Adrien could feel Deanna's unbridled happiness in his shadows as she said, “ _Mejor ahora que estás aquí_.” (Better now that you're here)

The male’s cognac eyes crinkled and lifted over Deanna’s head to Adrien. Adrien kept his face perfectly neutral as the male looked Adrien over carefully. “You must be the half-breed Deanna’s been seeing,” he said, a lethal gleam in his eyes. “I’m Mattias. Deanna’s uncle.”

Adrien deliberately flared his wings before tucking them in tight. “Adrien.”

Mattias’s nostrils flared delicately, scenting Adrien as he shook his hand. 'You are one ballsy kid, Adrien.”

Adrien felt a ghost of a smile curl on his face. “So I've been told.”

Mattias snorted.

Adrien heard the chair at the opposite end of the table pull out and he released Mattias's hand and turned to see who he assumed was Deanna's father stand in a singular motion.

He was well built and held no weapons on his person. His long black curly hair was pulled back into a tight bun. Adrien could feel the glittering cold disapproval pouring off him. “I see my daughter's taste in males is subjective at best,” he said, his accent thick.

Adrien met him stare for cool stare as the male came the rest of the way up to him and looked him over. The male’s lips thinned as he took in Adrien’s pointed ears and his wings. He did not offer Adrien a hand and Adrien didn’t extend one either. “My name is Hector Alanis,  _mestizo_.” (half-breed) “I understand your mother is the Morrigan.”

Of course. Of course he would focus on Adrien’s mother: The Famous Morrigan from the War. “And my father is Azriel,” Adrien said, just as coolly. “And my other mother is Leta.”

A tic worked in Hector’s powerful jaw and they stared each other down. Adrien wasn’t sure how much time went by before Mattias cleared his throat. “We should eat, yeah?”

Hector’s eyes flattened as a smile curled on Adrien’s face when Deanna brushed her fingers along his. She laced their fingers, tugging Adrien to the table where he sat beside her and rested his fingers on her thigh.

Hector took up his place back at the head of the table while Deanna’s sisters took up the opposite side and Mattias at the end. Only after everyone was seated, did food begin to pass around.

Adrien took note of both Hector and Rosa looking at him with thinly veiled disgust, and quite frankly, he just didn’t give a fuck.He had grown accustomed to those looks, those feelings over the last twenty years in the war camp and this was nothing new.

Deanna laced their fingers together once more, pulling his hand into her lap as she talked with her uncle about what he had missed in the few months he had been gone. Deanna told them fairly little about her and Adrien’s… relationship. Apparently she was just as private as he was when it came to people knowing her business.

Hector picked at his food. “ _No hablas nuestro idioma ahora que estás jodiendo al mestizo_?” He asked Deanna. (Do you not speak our language now that you're fucking the halfbreed?) “ _Él querrá comprenderte_.” (He will want to understand you.)

Deanna flinched.

Adrien sat down his fork and looked Hector in the eye.  _“Ella puede hablar en el idioma que quiera_ ,” Adrien said, coolly. (She can speak in the language she wants.) “ _Si hablas así con Deanna, te arrancaré la lengua_.” (If you talk like that with Deanna again, I'll rip your tongue out.)

Deanna’s head snapped to him, her eyes wide, and Mattias and Nina burst out laughing. But Adrien kept looking at Hector, meeting and directing a challenge. A pure, animalistic growl sat in the bottom of Hector Alanis’s throat and Adrien didn’t blink. Even as Deanna’s nails bit into his wrist.

“You speak our language,” Hector clipped out.

“Not well,” Adrien admitted, a faint smile curling on his lips. “But I’ve picked up a thing or two. After all, I have lived in Hybern for the last month. Even  _I_  am bound to pick up something.’

\----

After an hour of getting ready, Blake settled on a black button up shirt and pants. He took one look at Aurora, at her dark blue dress and nearly changed his mind entirely about going out. But his  _damn_ brother and Bay was going- and Ash and Celeste. So he hadn’t been able to worm his way out of going.

Rita’s was full and Bay’a shoulders were stiff as they went in but Nate looked fairly relaxed, though his brother could be relaxed literally anywhere, even after accepting a bond, it would seem. Blake didn’t know why he hadn’t pieced it together, why he hadn’t figured it out when it was so  _obvious_.

They went for their table and after a few drinks, both Bay and Ash seemed to relax more. Whatever was bothering Ash is now put on a backburner with alcohol in his system and his lady looked calm as she sat next to him, though a bit of anxiety was sensed in his shadows. But it was from not being used to Blake’s family- she felt like an outsider.

Blake took a drink from his glass as Aurora leaned forward talking to Celeste about… something. Blake wasn’t sure, he was far too preoccupied with slipping his hand on his mate’s thigh, at the softness and warmth and slight arch she made as his hand slipped  _higher_.

Her nails bit into his leg and Blake grinned into his drink. After accepting the bond- after that first time it had been difficult keeping his hands off her. Especially when she was pissed as all hell at him. Blake sat the glass down and pressed his lips to her bare shoulder, inhaling her soft scent. A deep intrinsic part of him latched onto it and reveled in his own mingling in hers.

His shadows sensed the slight change in her emotions, in the arousal starting to set in. He breathed slowly trying to not make himself hard, especially as she bit her lip, trying to not moan, her face perfectly neutral as she talked. New bonds… were fun. And utter  _hell_.

But if Nate or Ash sensed any difference, they didn’t show it. But he supposed Nate was far too busy kissing Bay’s neck to notice. Even Ash was focused solely on Celeste and whatever he was doing to her, considering Celeste’s ears were a scarlet red.

Aurora cleared her throat and smiled at Celeste. “Sunshine and I are going to dance. I’m glad you came, Celeste, you’re going to fit  _right_ in.”

Celeste smiled at her, cobalt eyes glinting, knowing  _exactly_ why Aurora’s voice was an octave too high. “Thank you.”

Aurora grabbed his wrist, yanking it out from under her dress and pulling him up and out to the dance floor. She hooked her arms around his neck, her nails biting his flesh as she turned her dark eyes up to him. “Was that  _necessary_.”

Blake grinned at her. “Yes.”

Aurora snorted and tugged his mouth down to hers. Blake put his hands on her hips, instantly deepening the kiss. Her scent filled his nose and she pressed into him, her long fingers slipping down the collar of his shirt, lightly dragging her nails down his back.

Blake inhaled sharply and she grinned as she kissed him.  _Damn_ her. Blake wasn’t good at maintaining any level of self control- and she  _knew it_. Though he supposed none of his brothers possessed that particular skill set;  _Especially_ Adrien.

Blake's damned libedo was going to be the death of him.

Blake threaded his fingers in her long black hair as his tongue slipped into her mouth. It was soft- so soft and holy gods he loved it more than he loved just about anything. Aurora’s fingers slipped further down and he felt his traitorous body start to heat, his cock stirring. It did not help that he could smell the arousal on her either.

He pulled apart from her and watched her chest heave, her black eyes burning brighter than any star he had seen. He almost asked what she was thinking when she curled her fingers around his wrist and yanked him through the club and towards the ladies room.

  
Blake thanked all things good the room was empty, though he had very little doubt that would stop either of them from getting what they want. He sealed the door with magic and Aurora sat on the counter as he kissed her deeply. His rough fingers slipped up her muscular thighs and spread them apart.

He reveled in the thought that he fit so well between her thighs, as if her body was molded just right for him, and in a way, Blake supposed she was. He slipped his hand down her panties, neary growling at the wettiness waiting for him.

Her arm hooked around his neck, pulling him deeper into her mouth and holy hell, he  _ached_. The ache between his legs had nearly every thought but one gone from his head. Inside. He wanted  _inside_ her and this damned thought went on and on until it was the only thing going through him.

\-----

Aurora’s heart went a mile a minute and she pulled at the laces at Blake’s hips as she hooked her legs around his, tugging him into her. She pushed his jacket off his shoulders and closed her eyes as his mouth moved to her neck. The light scrape of his teeth against her throat had her back arching and keening forward.

Heat bloomed in her core and she tugged his pants down and groaned at the thumb tracing lazily, almost proprietarily at the apex of her thighs. And nearly bowed off the counter as her release barrelled through her. Blake grinned against her skin and only when she was nearly panting did he bury himself inside her.

Aurora slipped her hands up the back of his shirt at the first thrust. She didn’t care if anyone knew what they were doing, she didn’t care if they walked out of this room looking like they had a quickie in the bathroom. It wouldn’t be like that conclusion was  _wrong_. That was exactly what they were doing. And her blood was just too heated to give a fuck about what anyone thought.

Her nails sunk into his sculpted back, his teeth sunk into her throat and Aurora got lost in the feeling and scent of her mate. Blake’s fingers tangled in her hair as he fucked her and she braced the mirror behind her as his hips rolled forward.

She nearly whimpered at the full feeling, at Blake’s length buried inside her, at his fingers digging into her thigh and his teeth in her flesh. At the pure, undiluted feeling of her mate. Years with just the touch of her father’s fists left her body hungry for more, for something better and unyielding. Something that was a force within itself. Blooded with power and lethal enough to kill but merciful enough to protect.

Something like Blake.

She tugged at his hair, pulling his lips from her throat and she looked at the blood coating her mate’s bottom lip, at the blood coating his white teeth and she kissed him deeply. His groan racked through her as he fucked into her. She tasted the blood- her blood- on his tongue and knew her neck was likely already healing itself.

Blake tugged down the top of her dress and palmed her breast. Heat coursed through her at the rough calluses against the so very sensitive skin, at the brush of a thumb against her nipple. Aurora tore her mouth from his and dropped her head on Blake’s chest at the release splitting her apart.

He fisted her hair and tugged it back, forcing her eyes on his. The darkness in his eyes, the dark brown engulfed and entirely black was pinned on her and she felt an ancient primal part of herself revel in the claim.

Blake kissed her deeply, his forehead kissing hers and she could feel his fingers thread in her hair as he shattered inside her. They both stayed like that, with her legs still around his hips and his forehead against hers for a long heartbeat, listening to the music outside the door and locking eyes with each other as they caught their breaths.

But finally Blake pulled out and they went about fixing themselves up. Aurora pulled her dress back up over her breasts as Blake combed through his hair, pulling the golden strands out and around his shoulders in some semblance of a hairstyle.

His dark eyes slipped to hers, bright and wicked, but also pleasantly sated. He grinned and combed out her hair, bringing it over her shoulders. “I suppose we better head back out, yeah?”

\-------

Bay watched his mate get up from the booth and head towards the bar. Nate's shoulders we're relaxed, the bites and bruises on his neck mostly covered by the black shirt that clung to his frame.

Nate braced his arms on the counter, talking to Rita as she made drinks. But a male slipped up next to Nate and Bay felt himself still at the lazy smile that curled on the male’s face as he talked to Nate.

A growl sat on the bottom of his throat and Ash firmly had a hand on Bay’s thigh, forcing him  _down_ before Bay could get up and tear the male’s head off for having the nerve to talk to his mate.

Bay curled his fingers around Ash’s wrist, his nails digging into Ash’s flesh, but Ash didn’t budge, even as he hissed in pain at the sheer amount of pressure Bay leveled.against him. Nate’s shoulders wound, just slightly and Bay felt his instincts begin sharpen.

Bay nearly broke Ash’s wrist as Ash ground out, “ _Stop it_.”

Bay ignored him and could barely hear him over the roaring in his ears. But then Nate turned around and came back to the table with drinks. Nate sat beside him, his arm thrown across the back of the booth and Ash let him go.

Bay instantly slipped into Nate’s lap and brushed his nose against Nate’s neck. He barely heard Ash, he barely heard the music or Celeste. He only smelled the bond, he only saw Nate. Bay could  _feel_  his mate’s approval as Bay brushed his lips against Nate’s throat, as his teeth sunk into Nate’s flesh.

Whether it was the alcohol, or whether it was the bond, Bay gave zero shits about what anyone thought about him biting Nate out in the open like this. He had endured enough,  _Nate_ had endured enough-

He was going to fucking bite his mate if he damn well wanted to.

Blood coated the inside of Bay’s mouth as his teeth sunk deeper, as Nate’s golden brown skin split beneath his lips. He keened forward as Nate’s arm slipped around him, pulling Bay deeper into his lap.

Bay fisted Nate’s hair, his fingers getting lost in the ebony strands. A deep primal part of him reveled in the feeling of Nate’s scent mixed with his, of his bites on Nate. He flicked the wounds shut as Nate tugged at Bay’s hair, pulling him back so Bay was looking at him.

“You’re mine,” Bay whispered.

Nate’s eyes were heated, depthless black seas and as Nate’s eyes crinkled, Bay leaned down to brush his lips against Nate’s. He was almost certain Ash said something but it was nothing but the smallest of whispers in Bay’s ears as blood rushed in his head.

Bay kissed and kissed and kissed him, his fingers knotting in Nate’s hair. It was easy as starlight, as easy as breathing, to love someone like Nathaniel Verrum. Nothing- not a damned thing compared to this feeling of complete bliss.

Bay pulled back, gasping for air and he brushed a thumb across Nate’s cheek. Nate slipped a hand beneath the waist of Bay’s pants to grab his ass when Ash said, “NO! At least have the decency to keep your hands over your clothes instead of trying to undress each other in public! My damn sense of smell can’t take you horny fuckers groping all the damned time.”

Bay looked over his shoulder. “Says the arrogant bastard with his hand up the healer’s dress.”

“Do as I say, not as I do,” Ash quipped. Bay rolled his eyes and Ash gripped Celeste’s chin and tugged her lips to his.

Ash kissed her deeply, thoroughly and Bay looked back at Nate, at the black eyes and kissed him once more. The bond between them glittered; bright and unyielding. A force within itself and wholly light, encompassing Bay’s heart.

Nate pulled back, his face flushed and he said, “I’ll be back, I have to use the restroom.”

Bay, if barely, stopped himself from pouting and made himself slip back into the booth and watched Nate walk back through the bar towards the washroom. Bay turned back in his seat, letting out a slow breath and took a drink from his glass and looked at Celeste. “I want you to tell me what you know about the the Camp.”

Celeste pulled apart from Ash, her face flushed and Ash glared at Bay- which Bay blatantly ignored. “Well,” she said, scratching her face. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Bay said. “Start with Cameron.”

“You could  _ask_ ,” Ash said.

Again, Bay ignored him, and kept his eyes on Celeste. Celeste’s eyes softened, just a fraction and she said, “I’ve known Cameron for about three years, but I’ve seen him around the Camp since I was young. He’s not well liked- at all. He does is father’s dirty work, whether its killing someone or bedding them. He has never outright refused an order and he has not outright betrayed him, except for once. And it cost him dearly.” Bay took another slow drink from his glass and gestures for her to continue.

“Your friend,” she said. “Zevakyn. He killed your brother- Dahmer. Brutally. And Cameron was ordered to bring Zevakyn to David- which he did. From what I understand, Zevakyn had been with David for about three hours when the High Lord showed up at the camp and exonerated him and took him to the Commander’s camp. Cameron made sure that Rhysand showed up. He made sure that your friend was saved. And it was because of that, that Cameron got his wings carved off his back. I found him, nearly dead. He was unconscious, bleeding out and left for dead. I bribed two warriors to help bring him to my house, where I healed him. He tried… thanking me. But when I turned away his advances, he left. And went back to serve your father.”

“And why did he do that?” Ash asked.

Celeste sighed softly. “Because, he had nowhere else to go.”

Ash’s face drew tight and he leaned back. Bay merely sat down his glass and said, “And then what happened?”

“Cameron went back to work,” she said. “As if nothing had happened. He’s barely said a word to me in the last three years, but… I have gotten new supplies from someone. They’re just left in front of my house, without a note or saying who they were from. But I believe they are from Cameron.”

“Has Cameron ever forced himself on anyone?” Bay asked.

“ _No_ ,” Celeste said. “If he had, I would not have healed him.”

Bay nodded. At least there was that. “What of Breanya and Cameron’s relationship?”

“Cameron is… very protective of her,” Celeste said, slowly. “He hasn’t outright embraced her or shown her much affection, but, from what I have seen, he has also shifted any attention that was placed on her, to himself.”

“What about her wings?”

She shook her head. “Cameron couldn’t stop it, no one could. But the two males who had been responsible for the clipping, lost their heads. No one knows who did it.”

Cameron. It had been Cameron.

Bay would bet anything.

Because, Bay would have done the exact same thing.

“Is Breanya legitimate?”

“Yes,” Celeste said. “David’s wife had died in childbirth. Breanya is his only legitimate child left.”

“So she would be his heir,” Bay said. Celeste nodded an Bay sighed. “What do you know of the camp? What happens with the bastards? Or the females?”

“The females are mostly seen and not heard. None of them are all that vocal and none have seen a training mat. None have harbored weapons, unless it was for healing or cooking. But if you are not careful, they can still be as horrible as the males. The bastards aren’t treated any better. Many have died.  _Many_ ,” she said. “They are not permitted in the Blood Rite. The Camp Lord had not let them. Few have basic supplies, unless they have been stolen. Many have died from winters without any shelter. I have tried offering my place.. But many are too proud and will not accept the help.”

“And how did  _you_ get a place of your own?” Bay asked, blatantly. “You are a female, and a bastard. Are you not?”

Celeste’s ears flushed deeply and Ash growled at him- which Bay ignored, once again, his eyes on Celeste. “Because,” she said. “I am one of the best healers in the camp and have made myself indispensable.”

Clever.

“What do you think the camp is going to do now that David is dead?”

“Since they would not let Breanya be camp lady- and because she is too young,” Celeste said, “I assume the role of Camp Lord would shift to one of David’s generals, since Dahmer is dead.”

“And what do you know of the generals?”

“They’re just as vicious as David,” Celeste said. “Perhaps worse. David was cold, but he was also very pragmatic. He did nothing without reason.”

Bay nodded. “Would you say the camp was beyond redemption?”

“No.”

“And why not?” Bay asked, taking a drink. “Hasn’t your life been a living hell in that place?”

“Because I believe people deserve a chance at proving themselves before being condemned,” she said. “They are the way they are because that is the world they were brought up in. But if they were given a chance, if they saw something better, then  _they_ could be something better. A better world breeds better people.”

Bay felt a cold, sharp smile curl on his face and she winced. “And yet  _you_ don’t seem to be as twisted as they are and yet you were brought up in their world. Unless all this is just a rouse and you’re just using Ash for his position and money.”

Celeste nearly flinched and Ash growled at him. “ _Watch it._ ”

“No,” she said, softly. “I’m not using Ash. But most people are weak. Most people will succumb to cruelty because cruelty is all they know. But some, some will thrive and be better people despite the cruelty- or because of it. I like to believe I’m one of those people.”

Bay studied her face, he studied the sincerity and could also feel the rage pouring off Ash- which he ignored. “Good answer.”

“You’re a fucking prick,” Ash snapped. “Leave her alone.”

“What else can you tell me about the camp?”

“Strength and bloodlines matter more than almost anything,” she said, shoulders relaxing. “Some have risen in the ranks because of either family or because they were just that good on the battlefield. Mercy,” she said. “Is not something widely practiced.”

Bay remembered the boy about to get his hand severed. But then he heard Nate coming back and he said, “Noted. Thank you.”

Nate slipped in beside him and hooked an arm around Bay’s shoulder, kissing his temple. “What did I miss?”

“Bay being an asshole,” Ash said, flatly.

“So nothing new,” Nate said, with a grin.

\-------

After dinner that night, Adrien winnowed himself and Deanna back to the cabin. They walked through the woods for a while in silence, listening to the night in comfortable silence. They left the house- nearly a manor house in its own right with Deanna giving her uncle a hug. Mattias Alanis, for whatever reason, seemed to genuinely like Adrien. Which Adrien supposed was a success, even if he was fairly certain both Hector and Rosa wanted to rip his intestines out.

Adrien unlocked the door and tugged Deanna inside and turned on the lights. He tugged off the button down shirt and walked back to the bedroom and listened to Deanna follow after him. He sat on the bed and said, “That went about as well as I thought it would.”

“You, Adrien,” she said, folding her arms, “have a death wish. I cannot believe you  _threatened my father_.”

Adrien looked up at her. “He should not have said what he did about his daughter. He’s lucky it was not  _my_ father. Azriel Verrum would have ripped out his tongue without saying a word. You’re lucky I showed the level of restraint I did.”

Deanna shook her head and put her hands on his thighs, meeting him at eye level. He stared her down but she just leaned forward and kissed him softly. Adrien wasn’t sure if he were surprised or not and leaned forward, tugging her back down into his lap. She cradled his face, tongue slipping in his mouth and Adrien let the nights events evaporate from his mind.

\---

Ash walked back to the manor house with Celeste with every intention of worshipping her at least he did until he opened the front door and heard the familiar beat of Adara’s heart waiting for him in the living room.

He heard her get up from the plush chair and come up to him. Ash folded his arms over his chest. “What are you doing up?”

“Waiting for you,” She said, a yawn building in her throat. “I had a nightmare. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Ash sighed and he felt Celeste smile beside him as Ash slipped an arm behind Adara’s knees and pick her up. She instantly curled into him, her head resting on his shoulder and held out a hand for Celeste to take.

To Ash’s surprise and eternal delight, Celeste took his sister’s small hand. Ash kissed Adara’s temple, listening to her soft hum as carried her back down to his bedroom. Lightly kicking open the door, Ash let her crawl in his bec and went to grab himself and Celeste pajamas. “Go ahead and get under the covers,” He told Adara. “We’ll be back in a second.”

He heard his sister do as instructed and pulled Celeste with him into the bathroom to get into pajamas. The second he shut the door, Ash pulled off his clothes and put the pajama bottoms on. Celeste tugged her hair out of its bun and said, “I wasn’t aware you owned pajamas.”

Ash snorted. “Yes I own pajamas. If only because Adara sometimes sleeps in bed with me.”

Celeste looped her arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips. “I think it’s sweet you let your sister sleep with you.”

Ash brushed his fingers down her side. “Trust me, I don’t  _let_ her do anything. She bullies her way into my bed.”

“Yes,” Celeste said, dryly. “She really twisted your arm.”

Ash winked at her and Celeste tugged him out of the room and towards the bed. They took up both sides and Adara was already curled into him before his head even hit the pillow, Ash pressed a kiss to Adara’s hair and nearly hissed at the feeling of his sister’s cold as ice feet touching his skin.

“Sorry,” Adara mumbed, tucking her head into his chest.

Ash sighed and merely closed his eyes, letting sleep tug him under.

\------

The next day, under both Cassian and Rhys’s orders, Blake headed to the Court of Nightmares to assess the damage left of the failed revolt. The people seemed to mostly be on task, rebuilding and rather docile. Though Blake suspected they wouldn’t want to appear any way else in front of him, as he had the High Lord’s ear.

BLake walked through the ruins and stopped in his tracks as a flash of black darted in his peripheral vision. He turned and looked around, looking for the blur. But as his eyes landed on a youngling, no more than five years old, the boy darted in the opposite direction before Blake could even take a step. “Hey!”

Blake winnowed in front of him and the boy halted hard enough, he nearly collapsed to the ground. The boy’s slate grey eyes landed on Blake’s, wide and afraid and Blake felt something inside himself go deathly still as he looked at the scar stretching across the boys face to his ear- the point completely hacked off. “I’m not going to hurt-”

The boy whirled around and ran and Blake winnowed back in front of him and knelt, grabbing the boy’s shoulders. “What’s your name?”

The boy shook his head violently, trying to kick and bite him, a small pure animal snarl tearing from his throat. Blake tried stopping him before he hurt himself- but the boy’s teeth sunk into his arm and Blake nearly growled at the teeth splitting his skin. At the  _blood_.  
  


“ _I am not going to hurt you_.”.

The boy kept shaking his head, clawing and kicking at him, his nails leaving angry red lines up Blake’s arms- and Blake pulled back far enough before the nails made it to his face.

Perhaps he couldn’t hear him.

Blake would have brought out his hands, to sign to him, but if he had, the boy would have most definitely taken off again. Saying ‘fuck it’, Blake pulled up his magic and carefully wrapped it around the boy and knocked him unconscious.

Blake caught him before he crumbled to the ground and slipped an arm behind the boys knees and picked him up. The boy was light- so light. His long black hair shaggy and uncut, his clothes not any better. Blake pressed a hand to the boy’s back and turned around. He’d have to come back- there was no way in hell he was leaving this kid in this place.

\--------

Mor had put Nik down for his nap twenty minutes before and was no settled on the couch with Leta and Feyre, keeping an ear out for the crying. But when the sharp kick of a door- a knock of sorts- rang through the house, Mor was up to answer it, a snarl about ready to tear from her throat to  _keep it quiet._

She opened the door and one look at her eldest, holding a child, had her complaint dying in her throat- especially at the hard icy look on Blake’s face. “I thought you were going to the court of nightmares?”

“I did,” Blake said, walking into the house. “But I needed to bring him here.”

Mor followed after her son and she looked at the thick curtain of black hair, of closed eyes and long lashes. And the scar. “Give him to me,” she ordered, sharply.

Blake handed over the boy and told her what he knew about the boy. She smoothed down the child’s hair, inhaling his sage and violet scent. “You think he’s deaf?” Mor asked, Blake, carrying the boy to the living room.

“Yeah,” Blake said, following after her. “I tried asking him questions, but he wouldn’t answer.”

Leta and Feyre’s eyes landed on the boy and Mor tucked him into her and sat on the couch. “Where are his parents?” she asked, sharply. Cauldron, it could very well the parents responsible for the boy’s scars. “Or was he completely alone?”

“Alone.”

Something sharp and awful twisted in Mor and she looked at Leta, her wife’s grey eyes still on the boy as she leaned forward and pressed her fingers lightly on the boy’s face. Those eyes flicked to Mor’s, completely in line with Mor’s line of thought. “He’s staying with us,” Mor said, looking at Blake. “I want you to clean out Adrien’s room.”

It was the one closest to thiers.

Blake made a face, but he wisely said nothing and dipped his head into a nod and walked back down the halls. Mor looked at Feyre and Feyre’s blue-grey eyes lifted to hers and she said, “Rhys is on his way.”

Feyre curled a lock of hair behind the boy’s hair and her face whitened with fury at the delicate point missing. “Poor thing.”

A knock hit the door and Rhys and Azriel walked in a heartbeat later. Azriel took one look at the boy and went preternaturally still, his face smoothed over and he nearly disappeared into his shadows. But Mor said, “Don’t go.”

A tic worked in Azriel’s jaw, but his golden eyes slipped to her and then back down to the boy and he quietly came up and knelt, studying the boy’s face carefully. Mor looked up at Rhys, whose own face was a mask of icy calm, his hands in his pockets. “Tell me what you know.”

Mor relayed what Blake had told her and a crease appeared between Rhys’s groomed brows. Mor knew that face- five hundred years with Rhys, she knew when he was using his abilities. But as Rhys’s golden tan face grew tighter and tighter, Mor knew- it could not end well. “He’s not deaf,” Rhys said, softly. “Mute, but not deaf. They tried getting him to talk through torturing him. It didn’t work and they threw him to the mercy of the Court. He’s been alone. He doesn’t have a name.”

Mor felt tears sting behind her eyes and she took a steadying breath and got up and took the nameless boy back to Adrien’s room. Blake was boxing things up, but there wasn’t much to begin with. Adrien wasn’t one to accessorize. He kept what he valued in his heart, not on his walls.

She felt Leta come in behind her and her mate pulled the blankets back on Adrien’s bed. Mor slipped the sleeping boy onto the sheets, making sure his head was on the pillows. He curled in, his back to the wall, but still slept soundly.

Mor motioned for Blake to follow them out. Blake sat down what he was holding and followed her orders, shutting the door with a soft click behind them. Mor went to sit back on the couch, fighting the tremors building in her bones and said, “We don’t touch the boys parents.”

They all looked at her and only Azriel and Leta were unsurprised. Rhys folded his arms and said, “And why not?”

Mor looked up at him. “If anyone deserves to end their miserable lives, it’s that boy. No one else has that right. Understand?”

They all nodded and Rhys drug a hand down his face. “Fine.”

Leta smoothed down her skirts and took Mor’s hand and tugged her to the kitchen. Her wife’s white hair gleamed in the sunlight. “I am not going to ask you if you are sure,” Leta said, squeezing her hand. “But… you understand it’s going to be difficult, raising a special needs child.”

Mor smiled at her. It was hard on Rhys and Feyre, raising a boy who was deaf, and harder still on Cassian raising both Bay and Aysel. “We raised Blake into a semi decent person,” Mor said. Caudron, Blake had been a little hellion; but he turned out all right. “And… I can’t let this one go. Not- not him.”

Not someone from the Court of Nightmares like her.

“Okay,” Leta said, softly. “Then he stays.”

\--------

He woke with a start, chest heaving and eyes wide as he looked at the unfamiliar room around him. Sunset was breaking through the windows and the last thing he remembered, was fighting against the golden haired shadowsinger.

It took him a moment to realize he wasn’t in the room by himself. He looked at a female in a chair across from the bed- she looked just like the shadowsinger. He scurried backwards off the bed and his back hit the corner of the room. **  
**

She slowly rose, as if trying to not spook an animal and sat on the edge of the bed. “I know you can’t talk,” she said, softly. “You’re safe here. You’re free.”

Safe. Safe. Was there such a thing as ‘safe’? There was hiding from everyone, there was being invisible, but there was no such thing as safe. Not in the Court of Nightmares, not in the Night Court, where everyone was a monster hidden beneath pretty faces. It was just a matter of time before someone took another knife to his face.

“My name is Morrigan. My friends call me Mor,” she said, lacing her hands on her lap. “Have you heard of me?”

He… had. Morrigan from the War. Morrigan, only child of Keir. Cousin of the High Lord. He nodded slowly, wrapping his arms around himself. He had seen what Keir could do- he had heard of what happened to Morrigan’s son. What was she going to do to him?

He slowly nodded. Just a bit.

A small smile curled on her red lips. “You have the same eyes as my mate, you know. Grey. They’re very pretty.” He just stared at her blankly. “And Blake told me you were a fighter, that you managed to draw blood on him.”

Oh. Was she going to punish him for that? His throat tightened and he wanted to say he was sorry. That he was  _sorry sorry sorry_. But the words wouldn’t come out. They never do. Mor’s face drew tight, as if realizing her mistake. “You’re not in trouble for that, I promise. His ego is a bit wounded, but he’s fine. No one would fault you for wanting to protect yourself.”

Air rushed out of him and he sent a prayer to the Mother. His parents were one thing but.. The Morrigan? He might as well be a fly. Nothing would be left of him. Legs giving out, he slipped down to the floor, his arms going around his knees.

Mor knelt down in front of him and he forced himself to not shrink further back. “Can I show you something?” she asked, softly.

He nodded, hesitantly. It wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. Mor lifted her top and showed him a scar on her stomach. He jolted forward, without thinking, and grazed his fingers along the thick scar.

“I got hurt too,” she rasped. “I’m from the Court of Nightmares, too. But I got out.” He looked up at her, his fingers still on her stomach. Her brown eyes were bright with unshed tears. “If you let me, I want to get you out, too. Velaris is a place for people like us; for dreamers. We can be your family. If you want.”

_What if she’s lying to me?_

He thought, she could be. She  _could_ be lying to him. After all, who would want to deal with someone like him. He didn’t even have a name. But… but she was crying. Or was close to crying. Would she be like that if she were just going to hurt him?

So he nodded.

What else did he have to lose? It wasn’t like he was a  _real_ faerie. Real faeries didn’t have faces messed up like his. Real faeries had  _names_.

She smiled at him and tugged her shirt back down. Her brown eyes searched his. “You want a name? Everyone deserves a name. Especially little boys with such pretty eyes. Don’t you think?” His ears warmed and she patted his cheek. “What about Jude? It’s short, sweet. Cute. Just like you.”

He tilted his head and thought about it. And then nodded, again. He liked it. It fit.

She pressed a kiss to the top of his head and said, “Then it’s settled, you’ll be Jude. I bet you’re hungry, huh? I’m always hungry. I believe Cassian is making pasta.”

Mor got up to her feet and held out a hand. Jude looked at it for a heartbeat before taking it and letting her pull him up. She tugged him with her out of the room and indeed, the smell of pasta and tomatoes filled his noise.

They went to the dining room, where a long black haired male with a lip ring was bickering with Blake- but whatever he said was cut off short as his black eyes landed on Jude. ANd smiled at him. Everyone but the boy next to him, a boy with ashy hair and glasses, had their eyes on Jude. The boy merely dug into his food silently, eyes cast down.

“This is Jude,” Mor said.

Jude slipped behind Mor at the sheer intensity of everyone in the room. He felt his body tremble and he forced himself to not run. Mor smoothed down his hair and led him to the table and a chair beside hers. He slipped in the chair quietly and looked down at the plate, listening to everyone chatter loudly. Everyone- except for the ashy haired boy.

Mor leaned down and whispered, “We’re gonna start teaching you how to sign. Don’t worry about not being able to pick it up too soon. We’re just learning ourselves. Bat,” she said, motioning the pudgy little boy babbling next to the High Lord, face covered in sauce, “is deaf. You’re not the only special person here.”

\----

Hours later Ash sat in the drawing room with Celeste and his mother, tuning out their conversation about gardening. Adara sat on the floor, coloring, blissfully humming softly. Ash nearly went insane from the sheer bordem of the conversation but a sharp smell hit his nose and Ash was up on his feet when his mother pressed a hand to her stomach and leaned forward, brows furrowed. “Baby’s coming.”

Ash’s throat tightened sharply and he turned on his heel and went for a healer to help her and then went to his room and closed the door. He heard everyone throughout the house jump into action and a part of Ash hated himself for not being the one to help.  _He_ had the power.  _He_ should be doing something. It was  _his_ sister. But every neuron in his body was telling him to leave, to walk away and wait it out.

Ash slipped down onto the floor and palmed his eyes, smothering the fire building in his veins. He heard a heartbeat coming down the hall and Ash closed his eyes for a moment and gathered his bearings and got up on his feet and has his face smoothed over as the door opened. Showing Celeste.

He could feel her cobalt blue eyes looking over him carefully. “Are you alright?” she asked, in that soft way that made the fire extinguish, just a bit.

Ash fixed a sharp smile on his face. “And why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” she said, coming up to him. She tried taking his hand and he pulled it back and slipped both into his pockets. He could smell the worry, and that- that made the fire return. Unabiding and burning. Her face hardened. “What happened?” she asked sharply. “What happened that makes you like this?”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, coolly. “Find something that doesn’t reach your superb standards? I’m the heir to the  _Autumn Court_. You should get used to it and make yourself useful. Like helping my mother and not babysitting me.”

Celeste inhaled sharply and said, “Do not talk to me like that.”

“Or what?”

Ash didn’t even sense the hit before he felt the sting across his face. He sucked in his split lip, that already healed, as she growled at him. Ash just gave her a tight smile and went around her and out the door. He walked past the sentries and he walked past his sisters and out to the forest behind the manor house. He didn’t stop until he got to the thick of the forest and dropped down to the ground and put his head back against the truck of a tree.

Celeste could hate him all she wanted. She could think he was a coward and an ass. She could do and say whatever she wished. He had deserved the split lip- but Cauldron, he was not going to sit there and  _explain_ why pregnancy deliveries nearly gave him a panic attack.

\------

Celeste stared at the spot in front of her and fought against the roaring wind in her head. She hadn’t meant to strike him- but he made everything  _so difficult_. She tried to help him, she  _tried_ understanding what it was that… that made him act so deliberately self destructive.

“You handled that wrong,” a voice said, softly.

Celeste turned around to see the twins. Sweet Adara and Fiery Fia. They had the same hair, same freckles and faces, except for their eyes. Adara’s were a soft, warm brown and Fia’s chipped russet ice.

Adara folded her hands in front of herself and said, “Ash doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. He’s always been so brash and vicious when it came to the way his heart hurts. He blames himself and cannot assuage the guilt.”

Celeste furrowed her brows. “Guilt for  _what_?”

“Our aunt died,” Fia clipped out. “She was sick and died in childbirth. So did one of the babies. Ash nearly killed himself trying to heal them. Bay had to force him out a window to stop him. And after that- he tried going to the High Lord of the Dawn Court- to rid himself of his magic.”

To rid himself… “That would kill him,” Celeste rasped. “It would completely  _unmake_ him.”

Adara nodded. “He says he wasn’t going there to kill himself… but… Ash is clever. He’s a smart male who feels so very much. And to him, he failed. Even if it wasn’t our aunt, it was still Bay’s mother. And if the first thing wasn’t what broke him, it was most definitely that.”

Something solid weighed down Celeste’s heart. But she still folded her arms over her chest. “That does not give him the right to talk to me like that. I’m…”

What  _was_ she to Ash? They had never really talked about it, but she had also more or less  _moved in with him_. With all of them. Ash had bought her things, they had slept together- often. But Ash was also high fae, he was also the heir the Autumn Court, a place that valued status and bloodline. And if they were  _truly_ together, wouldn’t he tell her about this? Wouldn’t he trust her enough to confide in her?

“Ash,” Fia said, distastefully, looking at her nails. “Is an idiot. Something that seems to be a common affliction in males. So very few are smart. But, what he lacks in brain cells he makes up for in heart. Give him time, Celeste. He’ll open up to you. This… is just a very festered wound that he has so very carefully covered up.”

“WHere is he?” Celeste asked.

Adara tilted her head, her red curls slipping over her shoulder. “In the woods. He’s part of the trees, Celeste. Why do you think Illyrians go to the sky when they ache? It’s in their blood.”

\-------

Ash closed his eyes, counting and counting until the numbers were the only thing going through his head. Numbers became words became days and the fire slowly, so damned slowly began to extinguish.

He heard Celeste coming through the trees and Ash forced himself to not get up and keep walking. He didn’t bother opening his eyes as he said, “What do you want, healer?”

Celeste settled down in front of him and he felt her brush her fingers up his arms and plunge in his hair, tugging him towards her. Her lips feathered against his- barely a touch at all and she said, “Look at me.”

Ash forced his eyes open and looked down at her. She pressed a thumb to his bottom lip and she said, “I’m not going to tell you its not your fault. I’m not going to tell you that time heals wounds. But I am going to tell you, that I understand. I understand what its like to have all this power, all this power to heal and for it to still be not enough. But if you talk to me like that again, not even Thesan will be able to help you grow back your balls. Got it?”

Ash stared at her. All he  _could_ do was stare at her, but then leaned forward, a hand slipping behind her waist, tugging her forward as he kissed her deeply. Celeste Milovany was fire, she was light and she was a sea of calm. She was something solid to lean against in a world that so violently gnawed at his heart.

Celeste pulled apart from his lips and kissed her forehead to his. His eyes closed, almost immediately as nails bit into the back of his neck. Ash tugged her into his lap and pressed his back to the tree. “You should probably go back,” Ash mumbled. “Help my mother.”

Celeste tugged at his hair, pulling back his head so he looked up at her. She pressed a light, blessed kiss to his lips. “You have the best healers in the Autumn Court with Elain. Me being there will not make things any easier.” She brushed a thumb across his cheek. “Besides, I’d rather be with you.”

Despite the anxiety jumping in his veins, despite the want of burning anything and everything to the ground, Ash felt… something settle inside him. Ash cradled her face and brushed his thumbs across her cheeks and pulled her into his chest. He had zero intention of ever letting her go.

\-------

Several hours later, Adara went to find her brother at her mother’s request. She found Him and Celeste leaned against a tree, Celeste settled between Ash’s legs and Ash pressing his lips to her shoulder, his eyes closed. Before Adara could say anything, Ash said, “What do you want, runt?”

Adara frowned. “I am not a  _runt_.”

“That’s something a runt would say,” Ash said, glibly. Celeste smacked Ash’s knee and Ash bit down lightly on her shoulder and opened his eyes, looking at Adara. “Everything go okay?” he asked, quietly, eyes glowing animal bright.

Adara nodded. “Mother wants to see you,” she said. “She’s in her and Father’s-”

Before she could even finish the sentence, Ash was up on his feet and nearly sprinting to the manor house. Celeste looked at her and only when she was certain Ash was out of hearing distance, she said, “Are you in love with him?”

Celeste’s face went red, her eyes big. “What?”

Adara folded her arms over her chest. “You know that you are the first girl that Ash has ever brought home with him? Or at least let  _us_ know?” Adara wasn’t stupid, she knew that Ash went out, but her brother had been… very sneaky when it came to letting any of them know any of the girls he had been interested in. “I like you, Celeste. ANd I think you’re good for him. Just.. please don’t hurt him. He doesn’t deserve it.”

Celeste’s face softened. “I’ll try my best.”

\----

Ash pushed past everyone and stopped dead in his tracks as he pulled his eyesight up and looked a his mother. She laid in bed, her golden brown hair damp from sweat and face flushed, eyes bright with exhaustion- but she was alive. Elain Archeron was  _alive_ , Mother save him. Ash nearly dropped down to his knees.

His mother gave him a worn smile and patted the spot beside her. Ash’s legs trembled as he went up and sat beside her. His mother instantly pulled him into her and Ash felt like a three year old as he pressed his face in her neck, an arm going around her waist. “I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

His mother pressed her lips to his temple. “My sweet boy,” she murmured, stroking his hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Ash felt tears prick behind his eyes. He let out a breath at the feeling of the tightness in his chest unraveling. He heard his father coming into the room, with- with the baby. He could hear the soft beating of the child, right next to his father’s heart. Ash pulled back and looked behind him at Lucien Vanserra. And then down to the small bundle in his arms.

Female.

Again.

He supposed Bay would be his only brother- unless his parents decided to have another baby. But he hoped to the Mother they did not. One, he already had four sisters. It would be overkill with all that estrogen. And for another, he wouldn’t survive the stress that seemed to plague him when being around someone pregnant. He didn’t care if it made him a selfish, entitled prick.

His father sat on the end of the bed and handed the baby over to Ash. A small pudgy little thing with wisps of golden brown hair and brown eyes- just like his mother’s, but there was a lack of warmth, just sheer intensity as deep as the sea. “What’s her name?” Ash asked, brushing a thumb through her hair.

“Aella,” his mother said. .

“Another ‘a’,” Ash said, dryly. “I’m sure Cia and Fia aren’t too thrilled with this development.”

His father snorted but from the door, Dacia said, “Oh Shush. Aella is a beautiful name. Besides I bet you’re just jealous because  _your_ name doesn’t end in an ‘a’ like all of ours.”

Ash rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to Aella’s head, inhaling the lime and sea salt scent of his baby sister. How odd, for someone of the Autumn Court to smell like the ocean.

\-------

Bay paced his room, a hand going through his hair, feeling Nate's eyes resting on him, as he thought over the last few days, as he thought over what Celeste told him, as he thought over the nightmares that clung to his mind.

“Baylor.”

Bay stopped in his tracks and looked back at his mate. His  _mate_. Bay knew, Nate would go with him. Anywhere. Nate would follow him, even to the darkest pits of hell, if Bay asked him. But…

“ _Baylor_ ,” Nate said, a slight worried edge to the word. “What's wrong?”

“I want to go back.”

Nate blinked. “Sorry?” But then realization dawned on his face. “ _Why,”_ Nate demanded, standing up, shadows twisting around him tighter and tighter. “Baylor, you were tortured in that damned camp.”

“I know,” Bay said, flatly. “I was there.”

“So why would you go back?”

“Because someone needs to run it,” Bay said, splaying his hands. “Someone needs to run it so that Bree can take her rightful place when she’s of age.”

“Ask Cameron,” Nate said, folding his arms. “Not  _you_. I just got you back.”

“Because Cameron is hated,” Bay said. “Far worse than me. Do you think they’ll let someone without wings- a whore- run the camp? I might not be well liked, I might not be legitimate, like you, but I do have something that could grant me the position.”

“And what, pray tell, is that?”  
  


“Because I win every fight,” Bay said. “I am what they want. Ruthless, merciless and just as hateful as all of them. I am cold, mean and pragmatic, just as he was. If anyone is going to turn that camp around, it’s going to be me. And if that fails, I’ll raze it and every twisted bastard in it to the ground.”

Nate sighed and unfolded his arms. “Alright,” he said. “Then we go back.”

“Nate you don’t have to come with me,” Bay said. “I would never ask you to go to that place.”

Cauldron, seeing someone as good and light as Nate, in that horrific place, made Bay’s blood run cold. He still saw Nate covered in blood when he closed his eyes. Sometimes he saw himself rip Nate’s throat out. Only to wake up and see Nate sleeping beside him, perfectly intact and alive. But he also would never make the mistake again, of underestimating Nate. Nate survived the Court of Nightmares, he survived Keir. He could survive Gomorreh.

A humorless smile curled on Nate’s face, not reaching his dark eyes. “I am never letting you out of my sight again,” Nate said, taking Bay’s hands. “You’re my mate and that means that where you go, I go. You are my heart, Baylor, and I don’t live, unless you do. If you say you must go back, then  _we_ go back.”

Bay felt his face warm and the ice in Nate’s eyes thawed as he pulled Bay back down into his lap. Nate brushed a thumb across the scar on Bay’s cheek, his eyes lifting back to Bay’s. “We should talk to Cassian, and Cameron, about it. Make sure you truly want to do this.”

Bay laced his fingers in Nate’s soft hair. “It’s not that I want to do this,” Bay said, softly. “It’s that I need to.”

Nate rested his fingers on Bay’s hip and nodded. “Okay.”

\----

Cameron bit into his apple, watching the stars through the trees. He could hear everyone from here. He could hear Bree with that baby. He could hear Bay and Nate coming through the trees- towards him. He leaned back and waited, patiently.

Whatever they were murmuring about, their anxieties- or rather Nate’s anxiety, sung in Cameron’s shadows. Bay’s emotions.. Were cool, detached. Calm. A sea of quiet that stemmed from bloodshed and apathy. Whatever they wanted from Cameron, it was going to be interesting.

Cameron chucked his apple and dropped down from the branches and leaned against the trunk with his arms folded. “Hello Brother,” Cameron said, with a purr. “What can I do for you?”

Not a flicker of emotion showed on Bay’s face. “Something needs to be done with the camp.”

Cameron snorted. “My advice? Slaughter everyone. Burn it all to the ground.”

“No,” Bay said, folding his own arms. “Breanya has a claim at the Camp Lady. She should have that opportunity to run it.”

Cameron arched a brow. “She’s five years old. I think she’s more interested in coloring than dealing with a camp full of sadistic killers.”

“It’s her birthright,” Nate said.

“She isn’t exactly made of what we are,” Cameron said, looking to Nate. “We’re heartless bastards and thrive in nightmares. She’s a daydream who thinks people can be good. If you try to put her as camp lady, she’ll become what we are.”

“Not if we fix it before she does,” Bay said.

Cameron blinked. “I would sooner slit my throat before being camp lord.”

He has seen the worst that the camp has to offer. He has felt it. From the females and the males. Females might not have the same rights as the males, no, but holy gods they could be sadistic bitches when they wanted. Starting with Breanya’s mother.

“Who said I wanted you to be camp lord,” Bay asked. “They’d never allow it. Not someone without wings. Or a halfbreed at that. Especially with what you did for David.”

THere was zero judgement in Bay’s words. Just blatant statement of fact. Cold, clear, crisp words. “So what?  _You_ want to be camp lord? You’re an experiment, Bay. You’d be treated just as badly as I am.”

Bay gave him a small smile that chilled Cameron’s blood. “Maybe,” he allowed. “But I’m also ranked second for a reason and if I need to show force to get them to act like decent people for once, then I will. We both know I am more than capable of it.”

Cameron stared at him, studying his very sincere, very serious face. And then burst out laughing. “Holy hell, you’re a crazy fucker. I knew you were already a bit touched, but hell, I did not realize you were genuinely  _insane_.”

Nate growled at him and Bay didn’t blink. Cameron said, “You know this is what he wanted. This is exactly what he wanted.”

Bay didn’t even flinch. “I know,” he said softly. “But I figure, if he’s going to get what he wants, then I’m going to make sure he’s going to regret it. But in order to do that, I need your help. I’ll shoulder the job as camp lord. But I still need your help.”

“What,” Cameron asked. “You want me to be your whore too?”

“Of course not,” Bay said, disgusted. “You know how the camp works. All you have to do, is help me make sure thing go according to plan. I’ll be the monster. You be my shadow.”

Cameron’s chest expanded in relief and Nate’s face softened, just a fraction. Cameron curled his lip at and then looked back at Bay. “You trust me to do that?”

Bay laughed; just once. “No. But I trust you more than I trust rapists and people loyal to David. You help me and I’ll make sure you’re never touched again.” Cameron’s throat tightened and Bay said, “Do I have your help? Or do I need to find someone else to do it?”

“Yeah,” Cameron said, softly. “You got it. Provided you do something for me.”

“What?” Nate asked.

“You let me see my sister.”

Bay’s lips thinned, but his piercing eyes did not waver. “Done.”

\--------

Cassian’s head reeled. Bay sat, leaned against the desk with his arms folded, staring down Cassian as he told Cassian his plans. The kid was insane. Certifiably insane. Cassian wasn’t sure if he was pissed because he only knew so few people who would do something like this or because Bay’s plan was solid. And he wasn’t sure if it was because he  _should have seen this coming_.

“Where do you plan to live?” Cassian asked, tearing a hand through his hair.

“My mother’s house,” Bay said.

“With Nate?”  
  


Bay dipped his head into a nod. “And I plan for Cameron to stay with us,” he said. “But, I do not want Bree anywhere in the camp until it's safer. Can she stay with you and Aysel?”

Cassian let out a painful sigh. “Of course she can,” he groused. “Aysel’s rather fond of her.” Relief flickered in Bay’s eyes, even if his face didn’t move. “And you trust Cameron under the same roof as you and your mate?”

“No,” Bay said. “Not really. But I trust his intentions where Breanya is concerned. He knows I want what’s best for her and he’ll align himself with my plans if it means making her happy. And,” Bay added, quietly. “I think Cameron did what he could to make sure I stayed sane for as long as I did when I was with David. Whatever his faults, Cameron isn’t… he’s not going to kill someone after putting through the effort of making sure they’re alive.”

Cassian folded his arms. “I still want weekly updates about whatever's going on in the camp and with you.” Just for some damned peace of mind. “Understand? Otherwise I’ll tie your ass to a tree until you change your mind.”

Bay arched a brow. “Do you think something like that would get me to change my mind?”

No. Not particularly. Bay was as stubborn as he was short. “Promise me.”

Bay nodded. “I promise.”

\-----------

Cameron quietly walked through the halls of the Hybern Castle. He spent the last week talking with Bay and Nate about what Bay’s plans for the camp were. The rules he was going to place, the penalties and justices he wanted to enact. It was… very ambitious. Bay wanted to turn the most ruthless, most cold camp into the safest. He supposed if there was anyone that was going to be able to do it, it’s going to be someone who had the raw power to back it up.

Cameron felt the guards keep looking his way as he went, worried that he’d try to do something. It was unneeded; and useless. If Cameron were to do something, he would have done it before now, and if he had some something, it would have been enacted before they had the chance to do something about it. If he truly wanted, he would have had every person in this castle slaughtered before they laid their eyes on him.

Cameron took a breath and went into the furthest bedroom. Breanya was sprawled out on the floor, coloring. She looked… happy. Safe. She’d be safe here and if not, Cameron would make each and every person in this place blood splatters. He’d make his father look positively cuddly by the time he got done with them.

Breanya looked up at him, a smile breaking out on her face. “Cameron!”

He gave her a weak smile. “Hey, bumblebee.”

Breanya was up on her feet and tackling him into a hug. Cameron’s throat tightened and smoothed down her hair. She pulled back and gave him a toothy grin. “You want to see my drawing?”

“Sure.”

\----

Later that night, Jude bolted up in bed, the nightmare still imprinted on the undersides of his eyelids. Jude touched his face with shaking fingers and nearly threw up at the feeling of relief. There was no blood. No knives. But the darkness of the room did little to fix the terror in his veins.

Slipping out of the bed, Jude grabbed his pillow and quietly walked down the hallway to Mor and Leta’s bedroom. Jude pushed open the door quietly and went up to the side of the bed Mor was sleeping on. Her arm was hanging over the side, her face smoothed out from sleep, golden hair faNned around her.

She looked like an angel.

Jude poked her cheek and she stirred. But she remained asleep. He poked her again and she mumbled. Almost… JUde poked her one last time and MOr’s dark eyes opened. She sat up on her elbows and rubbed her eyes. “Nightmare?” she rasped.

Jude nodded and Morsaid, “Come on, you can sleep with us tonight.” Jude felt a small smile curl on his face and he slipped up between the two of them and curled into Mor. He felt her lips press to his head and she mumbled, “Go to sleep, Baby.”

Jude closed his eyes and buried his face in her chest as she pulled an arm around him. The tremors in his body began fading away and Jude let sleep pull him back under.

\-----

Bay spent the next week cleaning out his mother’s house and putting up new paint. The tightness in his chest slowly, so painfully slowly began unravelling. If felt as if for the first time, since coming back here, Bay could breathe.

The people in the camp kept watching them and Bay hadn’t yet told them what his plans were. He had wanted to wait until he had the house set up before telling them, but when a knock rattled throughout the house, Bay looked at Nate dryly. “I guess time’s up.”

Nate smiled at him and kissed Bay’s temple. “Better go answer it, then.”

Ash made a choking sound and Bay ignored him and went back through the house and answered the door. Three males were outside, armed to the teeth and arms folded. In what Bay supposed was meant to be menacing. He just leaned against the doorframe with his own arms folded. “Yes?”

The male in the center, the leader, bared his teeth and Bay didn’t even blink. “What are you doing here?”

Bay scratched his face. “Currently? Talking to a giant who felt he needed to don himself in armor and bring two lackeys to talk to an eighteen year old. You?”

A quiet snarl tore through all three males teeth. The same male said, “Rumor says you want to run this camp. Do you think we’d let  _you_ do something like that? A bastard born nobody with behavioral issues?”

“Oh,” Bay said, looking at his unneat nails. “I don’t think you’re going to ‘let’ me do anything. I  _am_ going to do it. Even if I have to go through you to do so.”

The males darted forward and Bay had a blade pulled and at one’s groin. They froze in place and Bay pressed it deep enough to draw a hiss from the tall male. “If you want to  _challenge_ me,” Bay said, in a lethal soft. “Then go ahead. I’ll fight anyone and everyone if they want the position or think me unfit. But do not come into my house and try to attack me or mine. If you can’t be civil, you’ll soon find yourself without one head or the other.” The male growled and a small smile curled on Bay’s face. “I was trained by the best and I am the best,” Bay said. “I’ll kill you without blinking. I have the means and the capability. Understand?”

The male ground his teeth loud enough Bay could hear him. The others snarled softly and Bay heard Nate, Ash and Cameron coming through the house. Bay pressed the blade deeper, cutting through the fabric, until the male ground out, “Yes.” Bay rose his brows and the male said, “I understand.”

“Good.” Bay stepped back and resheathed the blade and resumed his place by the door. “I’ll speak to the camp tonight,” Bay said. “I’ll listen to all your grievances and take whatever words and challenges you want. Until then, I suggest you leave us alone to finish cleaning and go train. You’ll need it.”

They all growled at him, but left. Bay let out a soft breath and turned around to see Cameron’s pale blue eyes glinting, a near feral smile on his face. “You might very well make my existence in this camp worthwhile if you’re going to be threatening castration  _and_ decapitation. Well done.”

Bay ignored him and looked at Ash. Who was frowning at him. “You didn’t say you were going to be challenging people,” He accused. “What if you lose?”

“Then I die,” Bay said.

“You  _what_!” Ash yelled. The temperature in the house pulsed and fogged over Bay’s glasses. Bay bit back his sigh and wiped them off on his shirt before putting them back on his face. Ash whirled on Nate and pointed at him. He’s  _your_ mate. How are you okay with this?”

Nate arched a groomed brow. “In case you haven’t noticed, Ash, being his mate does not mean dictating his choices. Besides, he was trained by Cassian and has as many siphons as Cassian. He’s ranked second and is more than capable of defending himself. Get over yourself.”

Ash shifted his glare to Bay. “Were you not going to tell me about this? This is ridiculous.”

“Not particularly, no,” Bay said, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. “You might be family, Ash, but you are not Illyrian. You are High Fae and this place… the camps are not the Autumn Court. You might trade in trickery and deceit, but we bathe in blood and fight wars. This is what we do. It is what I  _must_ do to preserve my sister’s place as Camp Lady. ”

Ash fumed and Bay set his jaw and folded his arms, staring down the Heir to the Autumn Court. Ash’s animal bright eyes shone with a cold fire that could bring down everything on top of them. But Bay was not going to cower, he was not going to change his mind, because, he was  _right_.

David may be getting what he wanted. He might be getting Bay to be a killer and ruthless and merciless, but Bay was not going to turn from his path out of spite. This was what he was good at. FIghting, blood… leading. This was what he was good at and he’d be damned before he changed his mind because his brother couldn’t  _trust_ him to win.

“If you’re going to throw a tantrum,” Bay said, bored, “then I will take you out on that pitch and beat the living shit out of you until you grow a damned brain and stop thinking with emotions for once in your damned life.”

“Oh?” Ash said, folding his own arms. “And that’s not what  _you’re_ doing? Im sure  _everyone_ thinks taking up the place of the Devil Incarnate for a five year old instead of electing someone older and more experienced is a logical, sound plan.”

Bay didn’t deign him with a response and turned towards Cameron. “I want you to tell me what you know about those three males. Now.”

\---------

Nate spent the next few hours, listening to Baylor and Cameron strategize and ignoring Ash’s pouting. Sure, Nate would love for Baylor to forget about this place and raze it to the ground, but he also knew his mate and Nate was not going to try to make Baylor choose between him and what he thought was right. Love was about choices. About choosing each other again and again. Nate would never make Baylor make that choice. As soon as he did… it would be over.

Nate followed his mate through the camp towards a large bonfire where people sat and watched the fire. Nearly half the camp had to be here and Nate could feel all their hate and bitterness in his shadows as they looked at Baylor. ANd then at him.

The males from earlier that day stiffened as they looked at Baylor’s calm, bored face as Baylor said, “You know why I’m here. David Oduim is dead and y’all need a new Camp Lord. If you have a problem or wish to issue a challenge, speak now or suck it up.”

Unsurprisingly, everyone erupted into an uproar. Baylor patiently listened to their yelling before one male, an older male, said, “Why should we let you lead the camp? You  _killed_ the camp lord.”

Baylor cocked his head and looked at the male for a long moment. The male’s face, as weathered as it was, was smooth, calm, not… aggressive. Not as ready for blood as half the males here. Baylor nodded softly and without a word, he began unbuttoning his shirt with scarred fingers. Baylor shrugged off the shirt and let it fall to the ground. “If someone did this to you,” Baylor said. “Would you not react in kind? If someone attacked yours, would you not return the favor?”

Whispers echoed throughout the males and Baylor’s gaze did not waver as he rose his chin.. The throwing knife at his side glinted in the campfire. Nate bit at his lip ring as Baylor’s wings deliberately flared and tucked in tight. His mate’s face was the picture of calm, of boredom, but the bond… the bond between them shuddered between the icy wind and nothing at all. He wasn’t sure which was worse, the bitter hatefulness, or the ghost of who Baylor  _was_.

Nate forced himself to remain just as impassive as his mate, to let the Court of NIghtmares- the cruelty, the ruthlessness- show on his face. Anything other than strength would get them killed. Would forfeit Baylor the placement as Camp Lord.

Nate felt the emotions shift sharply and a male tore through the crowd- the male from the house, his sword arched and swinging. But Baylor was ready for it, he was already moving and had his throwing knives out. Baylor cut through the male’s abdomen. Deeply.

Blood sprayed, showering Baylor’s face, chest and arms. The male crumpled to the ground gasping and gurgling on blood. Baylor’s chest heaved evenly, his eyes bright as another male tore through the crowd. Baylor had him cut down in three maneuvers. But a small gash cut across Baylor’s pectoral. “Anyone else?” Baylor asked coolly, hands not shaking, fingers wrapped around his blades with the brutal obsessive precision he had spent so long training. ‘Or all you going to get your heads out of your asses?”

The sky rumbled in the distance and Nate felt the emotions shift to include grudging respect for the brutal efficiency for how Baylor cut down the warriors like stalks of wheat. Baylor cut down four more males before the warriors receded their challengers.

Six dead warriors… broken and bleeding on the ground, their blood soaking deep into the earth and Baylor’s body. And Baylor stood above them, chin raised, bleeding, chest heaving and eyes bright in the fire. The males dropped to a knee and even if Baylor’s face did not move, his ears burned scarlet.

Bayor wiped his blood coated throwing knives on his pants before sliding them back into their sheathes with practiced ease. He made the warriors stay on their knees for nearly a solid minute and a half before ordering them to stand.

The looked to him and Baylor said, “Things are changing around here. If anyone is attacked unprovoked, you die. If anyone tries to clip wings, they get theirs carved off. If anyone rapes anyone, you will be castrated and then butchered. Females will learn to fight, to defend themselves. The males will help with chores. Bastards will be given supplies and given a  _chance_. If anyone has a problem with this, you’re more than welcome to take exile.”

Unsurprisingly, several males- and females alike- began walking away. Several more growled and argued, but Baylor didn’t even blink. “I’m not asking,” Baylor said. “I am  _telling_. All I am saying is to be decent people. This camp has its reputation as the most ruthless camp of all. You’re dangerous for not being merciful. Instead for being mean, heartless and hateful. How much more dangerous can we get if we utilize every weapon in our arsenal? We will keep our reputation, but we’ll make it mean something.”

\-----

After the meet, after the challenge and the questions and the answers, Bay let his mate take him back to their… house. His mother’s house. Even with the new paint and furniture, some of the ghosts of the place still clung to the rooms. But Bay sucked up and went through to the washroom connected to their bedroom.

Nate opened the windows while Bay turned on the shower. The tightness in his chest unwound as fresh air brushed against his skin. Nearly two months… and Bay still could not go without the windows open. He was a coward.. But he didn’t know how else to prevent the panic attack.

Nate came up to him and began pulling the blood covered leathers off Bay in comfortable silence. Tugging him into the hot water, Nate brought up the dark rag and let it soak before beginning to wipe the blood off Bay’s face. Bay could only stare at the water dripping off Nate’s dark lashes. A ghost of a smile graced Nate’s face, his eyes crinkling. “You’re staring.”  
  
“So?”

Nate’s eyes lifted back to Bay’s and he bit at his lip. “I am pretty, huh?” Bay felt his face heat and Nate gripped Bay’s chin and kissed him softly on the lips. “I love that you can still blush like that after all this,” Nate said softly.

Bay felt a small smile tug at his lips. He hooked his arms around Nate’s neck and tugged him down to his mouth. “And I love  _you_.”    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! sorry its been so long! There will be one more part after this and then i will be moving back to Ties that Bind (the tog story) and after that is finished, I will be starting the crossover!
> 
> Thank you for reading!! Comments and kudos are loved XO


	68. Requiem: Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They had moved out of the townhouse after a few months and into a small house by the Sidra. It had two bedrooms and was more than big enough for them and their son. Even now, it felt as if it was all a dream. That he got to wake up to this little boy and his wife every day.
> 
> Adrien was on the ground, watching Mattias run away screeching as waves chased after him. Mattias crumbled to the ground, sand flying in the air and it was an effort to not get up and make sure he was okay. But Mattias merely got to his feet and started back up, his blue and black clothes now covered in sandy flecks.
> 
> Shadows stirring, Adrien felt, more than heard or saw, a familiar crackling presence that had been gone for the last seven years. Something deep inside his soul drew tight as he heard a crackling feminine voice say his name. Softly, Adrien said, "Hello Mazakynn."

Deanna Alanis spent the next two years in bliss with Adrien. She had never thought she would get as involved with the Inner Circle as she did. Though she had not really seen much of them in the last few months, after the wedding. She had moved into the cabin with him, had brought her own belongings, even if she could not really fit into her pants anymore. Though Adrien's shirts more than not covered the small swell of her belly.

She had never seen Adrien afraid before; had never thought she would  _ever_ see him afraid. But five months ago, when he had scented her, when she had begun showing signs, there had been perfect, undiluted  _fear_ on Adrien's face. HIs eyes had searched hers, his shadows had twisted around and his eyes finally went down to her belly.

And he had dropped down to his knees.

Now, Adrien was at the female's camp and Deanna was in the cabin, reading a book, a hand resting on her belly. The moment she turned a page in the book, a small, upbeat knock hit the door. Deanna nearly ignored the door, knowing it was Adrien's mother, Mor, because she did not know about Deanna's... condition. But,.. Deanna supposed now was as good a time as any. Even if Adrien was not here.

Getting up from the chair, Deanna smoothed down her- Adrien's- shirt and put the book down before going to answer the door. Opening the door, Deanna looked at the female, at the bags of groceries and bright,  _bright_ smile on the Morrigan's face. But that smile instantly evaporated as Mor looked her up and down, her eye going to, and resting on Deanna's stomach. "You're..."

"Yes," Deanna said, quietly, resting a hand on her belly. "Adrien is the father."

A series of emotions flew through Mor's face, through Deanna's shadows. Fear, shock, anger, happiness. Suspicion. "You're showing far too much for being only pregnant for two months," she said, dropping the bags and folding her arms.

"That's because I'm five months along," Deanna said.

"You're  _what_!" Deanna nearly flinched back and Mor said, "I am going to  _strangle_ that boy. How  _dare_ he lie to me." Mor picked the bags up and staked past her to put the groceries away. Deanna could almost feel the fumes coming off Mor, but she just closed the door and went back to her chair, folding her legs beneath her.

"If it makes you feel better," Deanna said, "My family doesn't know either."

"Hmph."

  
Cauldron, she could only imagine her father and Rosa's reactions. Two years later and they  _still_ wanted to rip Adrien's intestines out. Though it didn't help that Adrien was an instigator at heart and met each of their

glares glare for glare. They'd be horrified that Deanna was going to have a child with someone who was half lesser fae- an  _Illyrian,_ nonetheless. Deanna brought up her mug of tea and took a drink, letting the cool liquid calm her nerves.

Mor came back and sat in front of her. Those brown eyes looked Deanna over and softened, just a fraction. "How are you feeling?"

Deanna grimaced. "Why is it called morning sickness when it hits you every second of the damn day?"

Mor reached over and patted Deanna's bare knee. "Oh trust me, honey, I know. It was just awful with Adrien. Poor Leta had to deal with me constantly griping and throwing my guts up for three fourths of the pregnancy. But when I saw those golden eyes, it was worth it. It was all worth it."

Deanna felt a small smile curl on her face. She brushed a thumb over her stomach. "I hope."

"How did Adrien take it?" Mor asked, quietly. "I never know how he reacts to anything. He's so good at hiding how he feels. Just like his father."

Deanna bit at her lip. "He was terrified," Deanna said. "Still is, I think. We are... young, I know. But I think it'll be okay."

Deanna was going to love her-  _their-_ baby. She was not going to be like her mother. She was not going to bring three children into the world and then  _leave them_. This baby... whether male or female, was going to be her heart. They were going to be loved, no matter what. Safe. Protected. Not forged into a weapon by force, like she was.

Mor nodded. "He's afraid of the shadows, isn't he?"

Deanna shrugged a little. He hadn't really said anything about it. But from what she had witnessed, his shadows were  _more_ than hers. She might sense others' emotions as he does, but he genuinely  _feels them_. From what she understood, Adrien had become quieter, colder, when his shadows manifested. She was always a fairly quiet child when she was young, but...

"I don't know," Deanna said. "I think he's afraid the baby will end up like him."

Mor shook her head. "There is nothing  _wrong_ with Adrien. He may be a bit... much but he's a good boy. He and his father trained often when he was younger, learning how to handle them. His brothers didn't need nearly the amount of training he did. It's why he's always off doing manual labor. Or fighting. Whatever to drain the emotions. Even if your baby has the same difficulty Adrien does, it'll be lucky to have a family like ours. We're all a bit of a mess."

 _Ours_.

Yes... Deanna supposed she was apart of their family. Tears pricked behind her eyes and Deanna groaned and palmed her eyes. She did not need to start  _crying_. Mor gave her a knowing smile. "It's only going to get worse."

"Lovely."

\-------

Adrien began the long walk back to the cabin. His shoulders were sore, his arms were sore. But his mind was crystal clear. He forced his ass to  _walk_ and not winnow or fly. He knew Deanna enjoyed time alone and the primal part of himself.. Was riding him. Hard. Last thing he needed was his wife mad at him. She was only five months along... the rest of the pregnancy was going to be a long one.

His mother had been so shocked, when Adrien told her he wanted to marry Deanna. They had been together for nearly a year and a half, and while that seemed like such a short time for one of them.... Adrien had made up his mind regarding Deanna long before then.

\---------

_"Are you sure?" his mother asked. "This seems a bit too soon, don't you think?."_

_Adrien shook his head. "I know what I want," he said. "And I love her. There isn't anyone else. There won't be."_

_Maze was almost a distant memory and... Deanna was pregnant._ Pregnant _. Two months... according to the healers. And even if she wasn't, even if she wasn't carrying_ his  _child, Adrien had never felt like this before. Never this light and never this happy. It was going to happen, sooner or later and he wasn't going to let his child suffer because it was 'too soon'._

_HIs mother smiled at him. "Okay," she said. "Even if you get married though, you're still my baby."_

_Adrien sighed._

His father though, that was a whole different story. Adrien Verrum saw through it the second Adrien told him his plans.

_His father folded his corded arms over his chest and furrowed his brows. "Is she pregnant?"_

_Adrien looked his father in the eye. He was tempted, to tell him no. If only so his family wouldn't be getting between them and_ their  _business. But Adrien did not lie, and he was not going to start now. "Yes," he said, quietly. "Two months. We found out last week." His father studied his face carefully and Adrien said, "Are you going to tell moms'?"_

_Azriel shook his head and Adrien nearly sighed in relief. "No," he said. "This is your and Deanna's news to share, on your own time. Though you know the longer you keep this from Mor the more likely she's going to gut you."_

_Adrien snorted. "I know," he said. "But... we don't want anyone to know, not just yet._ "

\-----------

Adrien pulled his hair back with a strap of leather, getting the damp strands out of his eyes. He had let it grow out, down to his shoulders. Blake had asked him if he only grew it out because his and Nate's were long, but Adrien had just rolled his eyes. He had mostly grown it out so he could pull it back while working.. It was just an added bonus with the way Deanna looked at him. Or the way Deanna's scar flecked fingers laced in the black strands. Adrien would bet anything, that was a large part why  _Blake_ kept his hair long as well. And Nate.

He smoked two cigarettes by the time he got back to the cabin. He felt his mother's presence inside and Adrien bit back his groan and crushed the butt in the pot of sand before going inside. He dropped his weapons at the table by the door and went back through to the living room.

Deanna was sitting in the plush chair in one of his shirts and his mother was on the couch. His mother locked her brown eyes on him and she stood and folded her arms over her chest. "You have something you want to tell me, Adrien Verrum?"

Adrien crossed the room and settled on the arm of the chair, pressing a kiss to Deanna's head before looking at his mother. "No, not really."

"Is that right?"

Adrien rose his brows. "You already know."

His mother scowled at him. "Gods I hate when you and your father do that." Adrien snorted and he sat on the arm of the chair, his eyes going back to Deanna already looking up at him. He leaned over and curled a lock of curly hair behind her pointed ear and pressed his lips to her head, breathing in her spiced citrusy scent. He let it settle in his bones when his mother said, "You're moving home."

"And this," Adrien said, glaring at her, "is precisely why I did not want to tell you. I  _knew_ you would do this."

"Your wife is pregnant!" she scowled. "You're going to need the help!"

"I said no."

Adrien kept his eyes on Morrigan and he felt the ripple of her power. But he held her gaze. He did not want to move home.  _This_ was his home and he didn't want his family always in his business. As much as he loved them, he loved his privacy and solitude with Deanna just as much.

Her lips thinned. "You  _lied_  to me."

"No," he said. "I didn't."

"You said you were marrying her because you were in love with her."

Deanna went incredibly still beside him and Adrien swallowed the growl building in his throat as Deanna lightly bit her nails into his thigh, pulling him back. "Are you suggesting that I  _don't_  love her?"

"Of course not," Mor said, frowning, flicking her brown eyes to Deanna. "I never meant to insinuate anything like that." Deanna dipped her head into a slight nod and his mother slumped back. "Fine," she said. " _Fine_. For now, I'll drop it. The stress isn't good for the baby."

The ice in Adrien's veins thawed. "Thank you."

\------------

Bay- and his mate- had ruled the camp with an iron fist, had instituted rigid, but fair rules. A few people had been executed on his order and Bay knew the camp members were trying to see if Bay was going to hold true to his word. But if there was one thing Bay did not do, it was bluff. If someone did something unforgivable - then Bay would act in kind. THese people and their safety were his responsibility and he'd be damned before he let any of them get hurt.

Granted, they all still hated his guts and would be thrilled if Bay dropped dead or had his throat slit in his sleep. But there was a semblance of grudging respect for Bay and his ability to force them in line.

Baylor Kinslayer. The bastard born who slit his own father's throat. Feared and cold blooded, a fae male who had both the means and the sheer nerve to carry out even the darkest of orders.

David was probably rolling over in his grave at the things Bay had put in place. Which was well enough, whatever to spite the bastard.

Bay was going through a pile of papers when the door pushed open. Bay didn't bother looking up as Cameron came up and dropped in the chair, putting his feet up on the desk. "Get. Your feet.  _Off my desk,"_  Bay growled, glaring up from the papers. "I'm sure you have something better to do than to bug me at twelve at night."

"I do," Cameron drawled. "But your dear Nathaniel asked me to come  _get you_  so you can get some sleep. Come home so he'll leave  _me_ alone." Bay sighed and Cameron said, "They'll still be here in the morning, Bay. You've done enough today. And it's not twelve. It's three in the godsdamned morning."

Bay took off his glasses and palmed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Fine."

With that, Cameron was up and disappearing through the shadows. Bay turned out the lights and walked back home. The night was crisp, everyone gone inside except for the warriors that were ordered to keep watch. Their backs were straight, faces forward. None acknowledged Bay and he did not expect them to. They may hate him, but they would not break orders.

Bay unlocked the front door to his house and slipped inside, closing and locking the door behind him. He had his shirt pulled off and on the floor by the time he made it to his bed. Climbing up next to Nate, Bay curled into his mate, resting his head on Nate's arm and closed his eyes.

Nate instantly had an arm around him, his nose in Bay's neck. "Missed you," Nate mumbled.

"Mmm. Go back to sleep."

Nate nipped Bay's throat and settled back against him, falling back asleep. Bay let every thought, every piece of work, every ancient book he had been pouring through, evaporate from his head and let sleep pull him under.

\-----

Deanna curled against Adrien. She had her eyes closed, her head resting on his chest, and legs tangled in Adrien's. They laid in bed, in comfortable silence for nearly half an hour, with Adrien's scar flecked hand never leaving her belly. She knew his eyes were closed as hers were, knew his mind was nearly as chaotic as hers was.

She... wanted this baby. She wanted it more than anything. But gods, she was scared. She was terrified. She didn't know how to be a parent. She didn't know what that even  _looked_ like. Let alone felt like. Her father weaponized her, her mother left three young girls with him and took off. The only semi decent person in her life, that was any kind of mentor or guardian, was Mattias and even he, wasn't always there. Even though he came when he could. But that didn't stop her father from making her a killer.

"What is it?" Adrien said, into her hair.

Whether it be his shadows, or his abilities, or just because he knew her that well, Adrien always seemed to know  _some_ thing was off. That something was troubling her. Adrien was perhaps one of the most intuitive people she had ever met. She both hated it, and loved it. Opening her eyes, she looked up at him, up at the golden eyes that were now just as open as hers were. "What if I ruin him?" she said, quietly. "I don't know how to be a mother, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

Adrien's brows narrowed, just a fraction. "Him?"

She shrugged. "It's a feeling."

His lip curled into a small, half smile and he brushed a thumb across her cheek. "You'll be a good mother, Dea. I promise."

"How do you know?" she whispered. "I was made into a killer before I reached my first decade. I'd sooner slit a throat before knowing how to be any kind of maternal. I don't even remember what  _my_ mother looks like." Adrien looked at her quietly, a cold, brutal winter was deep in his eyes. Deanna threaded her fingers in his hair, pulling him back and she said, "Adrien."

He blinked, and that ruthless cold rage disappeared in a heartbeat. "You are not your mother," he said, softly, fiercely. "I know you will be a good mother because a bad mother wouldn't  _care_ if she ruined her son. You love him, just as I do. You will not force a blade into his hand and you will not leave him."

Deanna searched his face. She knew... he wasn't lying to her. Whatever his need was, to make a point of always telling the truth, Deanna did not really know, but she believed him. "I want you to promise me something."

Adrien furrowed his brows. "What?"

"If I do either of those things, you kill me."

Adrien stared at her, eyes slightly wide and face perfectly neutral. He slowly sat up, his hair falling over his shoulders. "Do not ask of me something like that," he rasped. "You should  _know_ I would not agree to do that."

Deanna sat up and went to curl a lock of hair behind his ear. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her in place. He squeezed tightly, not enough to hurt- not quite, but she also knew he was strong enough to snap it easily if he truly wanted to. "And that is why I want you to. You wouldn't do it unless you had to. I don't trust anyone else."

Her family... were not people to be trusted, not really. Except maybe her uncle or Nina. Rosa was like their father. And she could not ask her blood of something like this. But Adrien... Adrien was different. If anyone could do it, who could protect her son,or daughter, from her, it was Adrien. "Please."

His face drew tight, his eyes blew out. A small growl was in Adrien's throat, but.. Deanna did not look away. She did not break his eyes. She took and directed her own challenge until he released her wrist and got up and stalked out of the room with his back tense and wings drawn in tight.

\------

Adrien grabbed a pack of cigarettes and went to sit on the roof. He put the cigarette between his teeth and it took longer than he'd like to admit for it to light. He looked up at the stars and began trying to count back from one hundred to calm his nerves. Adrien fought the urge to winnow to Deanna's father and slaughter him in his sleep.

Taking a long drag, Adrien tore his fingers in his hair. How could she ask him of that,  _how_ could she ask him of that? He knew his moral compass wasn't exactly straight, but he had a fucking line. A line he did not want to pass. Could he do it? Kill the mother of his child? Adrien had killed his mate's father, he had ripped Devlon's wings off his back. He had slaughtered dozens in the Blood Rite. But this.... This was something wholly different. This was his wife asking him-

Adrien went through three more cigarettes and nearly an hour and a half before he was calm enough to go back inside. Deanna was sitting in the chair in the living room, passed out asleep and Adrien let out a soft breath before going to slip an arm beneath her knees and back, carrying her to bed.

Adrien watched her curl into the bed, a hand on her stomach instinctively. He undressed and climbed in behind her and pressed his nose in her neck, his fingers going to lace with the ones on her stomach. He'd give her his answer tomorrow. Right now, he just wanted to sleep with his wife.

\-----------

The next morning, Deanna awoke with the bed empty. She hadn't realized she had made it back to the bed the night before, but she hadn't expected to find him there when she awoke. He was often up and out before sunrise, to go work at the camp. He came back for breaks, and she didn't expect him to be  _able_ to stay away for all that long when she was pregnant.

Deanna kept herself busy reading and sharpening weapons and cleaning all while trying to not throw her guts up. Around noon, a knock hit the door and before she could even say a word, her sister Rosa came into the cabin. Deanna froze in her spot as her sister's cold, cold eyes looked over the room, her lip curled. Deanna could feel the cool judgement from where she was, but Rosa was also... difficult. Deanna might look like their mother, according to their father, but Rosa was all their father. Rosa's eyes went to Deanna's stomach. "You're pregnant," she said, eyes flicking back up to Deanna's eyes. "I knew you were soft hearted, Deanna, but I did not think you were genuinely foolish. An  _Illyrian_? Our bloodline is too potent- too  _important_ \- to be diluted by  _that_."

Deanna folded her arms and stared down her little sister. At almost nineteen, Rosa was beautiful, with her brown eyes and black curly hair and her sharp cheekbones. Deanna also knew, Rosa prefered females, but with her will to please their father, Rosa would do whatever she had to to keep his favor. "Adrien is a good male."

"Since when has that meant anything?" Rosa asked, coolly. "'Love and sentimentality is inconsequential when it comes to people like us. You used to understand that."

"Adrien isn't going anywhere," Deanna said, with a lethal soft. "Get used to it." They had been together for  _two years_. When was Rosa going to understand?

Her sister didn't so much as blink, or make any kind of expression. Even with her shadows, she could never figure out what her sister thought, what her sister  _wanted_. Where she stood when it came to her family- outside of pleasing their father. Rosa Alanis would put a knife in her, if their father asked. Without blinking.

Rosa turned and walked out without a word. Deanna sighed painfully and went to curl back into the plush chair. She pulled out her book and tried to let her sister leave her mind and the story take its place.

\----------

"I'm not doing it," Adrien said, later that night. "I will  _not_ kill you. As good as your intentions, it would destroy both me and the baby. How would I explain to our child that I killed their mother? You're not going to turn into your parents, Dea. I won't let you and you won't let yourself. And fuck you for asking me."

Adrien had spent the entire time at work in a fog, playing and replaying last night's events and had barely heard anything other than Deanna's words of wanting him to kill her. Nina showed up and she chattered away like usual, but she went back home after a while. He had no idea what she had said.

Deanna's startling eyes didn't waver, and they stayed on his. They held a degree of darkness, not dissimilar to his own. "Promise?"

"Yes," he rasped. "This, I will promise you. But  _never_ ask me that again." Deanna nodded and Adrien cradled her face and kissed her forehead, taking in her scent. He was in  _love_ with her scent, in the way it filled his lungs.

Someone knocked on the door and before Adrien could get up, Deanna was already on her feet. Adrien followed after her and leaned against the wall while she answered. Deanna's spine locked in place as the door opened, as she looked at a male with long light brown hair and gray eyes. She fell back a step and Adrien's instincts started sharpening.

"What are you doing here, Jake," she said.

Jake grinned at her, eyes blatantly roaming Deanna's frame, resting on her belly. A low growl started building in Adrien's throat. "Well shit, I guess she was right," Jake said, stepping inside. Deanna dropped back another step and Jake shoved his hands in his pockets. "I heard you were with child, but I had to see it for myself. An  _Illyrian_ , Dea? Really?'

Adrien forced his ass to not move a muscle.

"Though I suppose, you can't really get any better when it's not me warming your bed, huh?'

Adrien felt his shadows start to twist darker, as they picked up Jake's intent.. "Get the hell out of my house," he said, in little more than a whisper. "Before you lose your head."

The male- Jake looked up and back at Adrien, at his shadows and at his wings. And sneered. "Quiet,  _mestizo._ I'm not talking to you."

"Leave," Deanna said.

Adrien's instincts came roaring to the surface as the male grinned at her, at the slight tremor in Deanna's voice, at the fear starting to trickle in Adrien's shadows.  _Deanna's_ fear. Before Adrien knew what he was doing, he was off the wall and he had the male slammed against the plaster. He heard it crack, the house nearly shaking around them, as Adrien tightened his fingers around Jake's throat. The only thing, the only  _word_ that went through Adrien's head, was  _threat_..

Adrien had been around enough females, had been in the Court of Nightmares enough to know when a female had been hurt. Deanna... Deanna did not hesitate, she could strike without a blink and slit a male's throat. She had nearly killed  _him_ all that time ago and Adrien was powerful. But she hesitated with Jake, she  _flinched_ with Jake.

Jake's grey eyes met Adrien's and they did not waver. Adrien bared his teeth and he rasped, "Give me one reason, just  _one_ why I should not snap your neck."

Jake's nails bit into Adrien's wrist, trying to alleviate the crushing of his windpipe. Adrien could barely hear anything over the wind in his head. But Deanna, Deanna slipped her hand in Adrien's free one and said, "Let him go, Adrien. It's not worth it."

But it was. It  _was_ and Adrien was oh so tempted to ignore her wishes and kill this asshole. Especially as a small smile curled on Jake's reddening face. But Deanna's nails bit into Adrien's wrist in warning and Adrien truly did not want on his wife's bad side. Releasing Jake's throat, Adrien took a fluid step back and watched as Jake huddled over and coughed, rubbing at his throat.

"Get out," Deanna said. "You come back, you talk to me again, and I will let Adrien finish the job."

Jake studied Deanna's face, looking for the bluff, but when he did not find one, he turned around and walked out of the house. Adrien shut the door with his shadows and turned to Deanna. She was almost- almost shaking, but her eyes were tempered steel. Cold. A killer. Adrien tugged her into him and pressed his lips to the top of her head. Her arms went around his waist and he held onto her, like a lifeline until the tremors stopped.

In both of them.

\---------

The next day, after forcing Adrien to go to work, Deanna went home. She hadn't been home in  _months_ but in all honesty, this was no longer her home and she didn't really miss it. It had never really  _been_ a home. Home... was safe. Home... was love. Home was Adrien, not this.

Throwing open the front door, Deanna staked past the maids, past their wide eyes and their stares. And went down the hall to Rosa's bedroom. She found her sister at her work table, sharpening her blades. This room was cold, so cold and held so little inside it other than the necessities. It was... different than Adrien's. He had a semblance of  _home_ in his house, he held the most important things close to his heart, not around him. Even though they had begun slowly decorating the cabin.

Rosa's head snapped up and she turned around as Deanna stormed up to her and before Rosa could say a word, even if she were  _going_ to say a word, Deanna slapped her, as hard as she could across the cheek. Rosa's head snapped to the side, her curls falling into her face. Deanna's chest heaved as Rosa looked back at her, her cheek turning dark red from where Deanna struck her BUt her brown eyes revealed nothing.

"You hate Adrien that much?" Deanna seethed. "You would tell  _Jake_ where I was? Adrien is a  _good_ male, Jake is just as heartless and vindictive as  _you are_." Rosa looked at her silently, said nothing and Deanna growled at her; nothing short of animal. "I didn't get my wrist broken in training. I didn't break it on a mission." That...  _that_ made Rosa blink. "If you  _ever_ do something like that again, I will  _never_ speak to you again. Though of course, you probably wouldn't care either way, would you? You  _hateful_ bitch."

Rosa lifted her narrow chin and Deanna shook her head and said, "You're going to be miserable for the rest of your life, Rosa. You're going to keep hating yourself and everything you are until you finally say 'enough' and  _stop_  trying to please our father."

When Rosa said nothing, Deanna turned around and left.

She nearly walked right into Nina as Nina came out of her room, to see what the noise was. Deanna halted midstep before she mowed her sister down. Nina stared wide-eyed at her, surprised to even see her, and then looked down, at Deanna's belly and gaped at her. "Oh my  _gods_ ," Nina said. "Father is going to kill him, you know that right?"

Deanna said nothing, she couldn't get any words out, and her eyes burned, forcing herself to not start crying.  _Damn_ hormones. Nina's face softened and she took Deanna's hand and pulled her into her room. CLosing and locking the door, Nina whirled on her and said, "Sit down, you need to  _calm down_. What's wrong? WHat did Rosa do?"

Deanna sat on Nina's bed and dropped her face into her hands, trying to breath through the pounding of her heart. Nina didn't know, Rosa... now knew. Their father didn't know. Not even Mattias knew. How the hell was she to explain she let Jake  _hit her_  when she was a damned assassin? She could defend herself. Her father would say exactly that. That he trained her to be able to defend herself so no one would touch her with harmful intent. He'd say it was her own damn fault. And perhaps... perhaps it was.

But she forced the words out. And closed her eyes, to not see Nina's expression. Nina... was different. From her and Rosa. Nina was fierce, was kind and all heart. But she was also an Alanis. Nina was one of them, no matter how wild. She was a blade given flesh, just as she and Rosa were made into. She had the capacity to be just as cold and cruel. And at sixteen years old, Nina was unpredictable.

Deanna took a breath as a shudder racked through her. She needed to  _calm down_. She needed to. Before Adrien somehow sensed it and showed up. She did not need her husband to do something he'd regret. Adrien's instincts... rode him, so hard. And the last thing she needed was him feeling threatened.

Nina inhaled sharply and Deanna looked up at her, at Nina's kind face completely iced over. She waited for the ridicule, but Nina just sunk down to her knees and took Deanna's hands. "I'm sorry," she said, quietly. "Rosa can be... such a bitch, sometimes. But I don't think she would go  _that_ far. She wouldn't go to Jake if she knew."

Tears slipped down Deanna's cheeks and Nina brushed them away with her thumbs. "Let's get you some tea, yeah? And then you can tell me about why you and pretty boy thought it would be okay hiding my little niece or nephew away from me."

\--------------

Rosa started across the city, as silent as a midnight wind. She might not be a shadowsinger, or have the winnowing ability like NIna, but she had more than enough capability of getting where she wanted and without being seen. And this... her mind was deadly quiet, red coated her vision and her blood boiled over.

She knocked on Jake's door and her sister's ex lover answered it a few minutes later. He stood a head taller than her, had a thick dark bruise around this throat. "Hello Rosa," he said, a grin gracing his face. "What can I do for you,  _el cariña._ " Without a word, Rosa wrapped her magic around his bones and pushed him backwards. His back cracked against the wall and Rosa folded her arms as he groaned. "I'm guessing this isn't a social call?"

Rosa gave him a small, sharp smile. And wrapped her magic around his wrists. Twisting and snapping them backwards. Jake's screams echoed off the walls and Rosa put a hand on her sword. "No."

\-------

Hours later, Nina winnowed through the city, more than prepared to completely gut Jake in his sleep. But before she even made it inside his house, the sharp smell of blood coated her nose. Palming a blade, Nina pushed open the front door with a foot and her heart nearly stopped at the blood coating the room.

The blood was so thick, it was nearly black. And Jake's body was broken.. And in -pieces. She recognized the citrusy scent that belonged to not Deanna, but  _Rosa_. And the single crimson red rose in the pool of blood. Now this... this was something her sister would do. Rosa was many things, but a traitor to her blood was not one of them.

Turning on her heel, Nina winnowed home. She walked through the house until she got to Rosa's room and without knocking, she pushed it open to see Rosa lounged in a chair, in a thin strapped silver nightgown that went to her midnight. ANd she was reading. "What do you want?" Rosa asked.

"You killed him," Nina said, folding her arms.

Rosa's fingers froze, just a heartbeat before turning the page. "I've killed many males, Nina," she said, loftily. "You're going to have to be more specific."

"Jake."

Rosa lifted her dark brown eyes to Nina. 'He shouldn't have lied to me. Besides," she said, turning back to her book. "It isn't like that male was all that useful anyways. The best he had going for him was his money and bloodline."

Nina stared at her sister. Cold, prideful, guarded. Rosa Alanis was a study in survival and Nina almost felt sorry for Jake. The poor bastard must have been taken apart so slowly, but gods, she had to say, she would have done the exact same thing. "Why do you hate Adrien?"

"He's a  _mestizo_ ," Rosa said, eyes trained on her book. "He ruined our bloodline with his filthy blood."

" _That is not fair_ ," Nina snapped. "Wy are you such a  _bitch_ to everyone?"

Rosa said nothing, merely turned the page in her book. Nina turned on her heel and stalked back to her room. Slamming the door shut, Nina went to take off her weapons and collapsing on her bed to take a very long, very needed nap. Her family exhausted her sometimes.

\----------

Adrien started through the trees for the Alanis Estate. Deanna had, for lack of a better term, kicked him out of the house for smothering her. And he was pent up enough, after figuring out  _how_ that... male knew where Deanna was, that Adrien decided to pay Rosa a visit.

He didn't bother with knocking, and he followed his shadows through the house, ignoring the looks from the maids. This house... was large. So large and so very different from the small cabin that he and Deanna had; from the homes he grew up in. He prefered that cabin to this. His may not be very decorative, but it wasn't as cold as  _this_.

He knocked on Rosa's bedroom door and waited a heartbeat before the door slowly opened, showing Rosa in a thin strapped silver nightgown that brushed her thighs.The metallic material seemed to make her golden brown skin glow and emphasized the long lean muscles that Adrien knew were not for show. Rosa folded her arms over her chest, flicking her scar flecked fingers along her forearms. "What do  _you_ want."

Adrien pushed past her and went into her room. The entire room was beyond meticulous. Her weapons were in a straight row on her desk, the books on her shelves in perfect order. The only thing that seemed to be out of place was a cup of tea with a book next to it. But it wasn't like... his. Rosa had soldier- warrior- mentality. His... was compulsive. Adrien turned around and said, "This stunt you're pulling, needs to stop. Now."

Nothing on her face shifted, but her emotions did. Just slightly. And Adrien said, "You don't hate me because I'm a half-breed, do you?" Rosa rose her narrow chin and Adrien pushed, "You hate me because I'm a shadowsinger. Because I'm one of the  _best_ shadowsingers and not one that you can lie to." Like Deanna. "You hate me because I know just how much you hate yourself. You try to be this wall of ice, of hate and nothingness. But it doesn't work. Take it from someone who's been there.  _It won't work_. I won't push you to like me, or anything. You can despise me all you want, but you leave Deanna alone. And our youngling. You hurt either of them with this, and you will deal with  _me_."

Rosa stared him down, not even blinking at the lethal soft promise from Adrien. Adrien met her cold stare for glacial stare. He could play this game if she wanted, but then her shoulders curved in, just a bit and she said, "I didn't know about Jake." Adrien stared at her, read her with his shadows. She was telling the truth.

And perhaps.... Perhaps this was the closest to an apology that she'd ever give. The ice in Adrien's blood thawed, just a fraction as he said, "I've killed just as you killed. I love your sister as much as you do. My only sin is what I was born as. I am a good person, Rosa, but I do not have qualms with protecting people through any means I must. Understand?"

Rosa did not blink, she did not nod or shake her head. She revealed nothing to Adrien other than the sight thawng of her ice in his shadows. Adrien gave her another heartbeat, just in case she wanted to say something, but when she did not, Adrien turned on his heel and left.

\------

Over the next few months, Cameron spent time between the camp and Hybern. He had fallen into his role as Bay's shadow easily and while his hands were still stained with blood with his brother ruling the camp, but, he had the choice. He could leave and walk away from this place and never look back... and Bay would let him. Besides, it wasn't like the people that died were decent; they were all monsters. And not the kind of monster Bay and he were, no, they were the kind of monster that deserved the death blows both he and Bay dealt.

It took a certain kind of person to run this place. Cold, uncompromising, deadly, merciless and hateful. Someone who would not balk at the worst the Mother threw at them. ANd ti wasn't Cameron. Or perhaps... perhaps he could. But his words to his brother those years ago, the thought of sooner slitting his own throat before holding the leash to these monsters, it still held true.

He could feel the eyes of the males, the females on him in the bar. He didn't have a preference, when it came to attraction. Male. female, He didn't care. But these last few years, with not having to bed who his father wished, Cameron barely touched anyone, unless he controlled every aspect of the fuck. He sure as hell did not let another make fuck him.

Cameron had been nursing a beer and smoking a cigarette for the last ten minutes and a male came and sat next to him, resting an arm on the counter. Cameron turned his head and looked at him and said, "May I help you?"

"You have a gorgeous body, you know that?"

"I do know that."

He was lean, not... as muscular as Bay. was six one with short golden hair, and pale blue ice eyes. His face was aristocratic, fine boned with the same sharp cheekbones of his brother. The same freckles. But unlike Bay, he had very few scars outside of the ones on his back. The more beautiful and perfect he looked, the more easier it was to get into someone's bed. His father got creative when it came to doling out his punishments. Didn't want to dull a weapon, but he still wanted to mould it to his will. It wouldn't be him that was punished, but everyone around him.

The male smiled. "Want to get out of here?"

Cameron looked him over slowly, taking a long drink from his bottle and said, "No," and turned back to the counter. The man scoffed and touched Cameron's shoulder and Cameron had a blade from his side pressed into the male's jugular. A fraction more and they would be cleaning up blood- and a body- from the floor. " _I said no_."

The male's brows shot up and everyone in the bar went quiet. The male's brown eyes stayed on Cameron's face, but whatever he saw in Cameron's eyes, made his face pale. "Got it."

Cameron waited, just a heartbeat, for the message to sink in before retracting the blade and putting it back at his side. "Now pick your jaw up off the floor and get away from me," he said. "I'm not in the mood."

From the corner of his eye, Cameron could see the male was fighting the urge to say something, but like a smart male, he just turned on his heel and left. Cameron rolled his shoulders, paid the bartender and left as well. His reputation in this shithole was still that of a whore, and some of these idiots tried to see, just if they could get what they wanted. Unlucky for them, Cameron was more likely to put a dagger through their groin than touch them.

\------

Deanna had started walking back to her chair with a mug of tea, even if her sisters tried to get up to get it for her. She was not a damn invalid. Even with the swell of her belly, and the ache between her shoulder blades. She was more than capable of walking a few damn feet! ANd it did not help, that Adrien was getting more and more difficult to manage. It had gotten to the point, where Blake was needed to  _drag_ him out of the house. She... understood. She  _did._ But gods above that did not stop her from wanting to kill him for hovering. She had even gotten to the point where she had been yelling at him from the top of her lungs in her native language. ANd he just... took it. In that stony way of his. It only made her temper worse.

She could hear her sisters bickering- or rather Nina bickering and she just knew Rosa was looking at Nina in that blank, annoyed way of hers. But a sharp pain went through her belly and Deanna's hand instantly went to it, her cup of tea falling onto the tile and shattering.

Rosa and Nina were instantly in front of her, Rosa was using her magic, dark eyes trained on her belly and Deanna choked back the fear in her throat. It built, tighty and Deanna felt tears prick behind her eyes. "He's not supposed to be here yet," he voice broke. Rosa's eyes lifted, her long fingers going to Deanna's face. "C- Can-"

"It's false labor," Rosa said. "You're okay. He's okay. Just breathe. In and out," she ordered. "Nina, go get Adrien."

"But-"  
  
Rosa's head snapped to Nina. "You are the only one of us that can winnow," she said, sharply. "Besides her.   
Ve ahora!"  _Go now._

Nina disappeared into a wisp of shadows and Rosa led Deanna to the bedroom. She got Deanna down onto the bed and she pressed a hand to her belly, groomed brows nit as she inspected. "How do you know?" Deanna asked, trying to calm her breathing. "How-"

"YOu might be able to walk through dreams," She said, "But the body is  _my_ power. I weave bones and blood the way you shatter nightmares, Your baby is fine, or will be if you  _calm down now_."

\-------

Blake had been working with Adrien the last few weeks, keeping him away from home for as long as he could, so that Deanna could have  _some_ alone time. He knew his brother was territorial, but  _damn_ , he made him look positively level headed. Even if Blake was at the camps daily, was running drills and working with the soldiers, this type of manual labor nearly killed him. And yet Adrien did it every damn day. His brother was insane.

He and Adrien worked in silence and it was well into the afternoon when Nina appeared and Adrien took one look at her, at her drawn face and Blake could sense the worry in his shadows, but Adrien disappeared without so much as a look between either of them.

"What's going on?" Blake asked.

Nina shook her head. "It's the baby. Rosa says it's false labor but-"

"I trust your sister about as much as I trust Cameron," Blake snapped. Nina's eyes flashed but Blake wrapped his shadows around himself and winnowed back to Adrien's house. He walked through back to their bedroom, towards them, but before he made it a step inside, kneeling from in front of the bed, Adrien made a warning growl that had Blake freezing in his steps.

Adrien's eyes were on Deanna's, his broad, scar flecked hand on her belly as he sat on the balls of his heels. Deanna's face was just as icy as Adrien's, shoulders just as wound, and she quietly said, "I want to go to Velaris." Adrien stiffened, a tic jumping in his jaw, and Blake knew, Adrien hated being under watchful eyes, and hated bending, but for Deanna... "Please. I don't know what would have happened if my sisters weren't here."

Adrien let out a soft sigh and nodded silently before kissing her brow. "Tell moms' we'll be home tomorrow," he directed at Blake.

"Bold of you to assume you can tell me what to do," Blake said. Adrien looked over his shoulder at Blake and his blown out eyes were nothing short of primal frost. Blake barely suppressed his eye roll before saying, "Yeah, I'll tell them. They'll be over the moon."

When their mother came home, when she found out about the pregnancy, she had flipped- because Adrien hid it from her. And she had been even more pissed when their  _father_ knew about it, but didn't tell any of them. Even worse, she had been upset when Adrien wouldn't come home. But that didn't stop her from making up a nursery in Blake's old rooms.

\-----

It hadn't taken Adrien long to pack up their things and get them to Velaris. The moment he saw the far too bright smile this early in the morning, Adrien instantly regretted coming here. The next few months were going to be long, and even then, his mother was going to want to keep them close so she cold help with the baby.

Adrien took Deanna back down the hallway, following his mother back to the room that would pass as the nursery- Blake's old room. He nearly stopped in place as he took in the swirls of paint. Blue and purple paint stretched across the room, like galaxies. White paint dotted across the room, twinkling like stars. Dark, ebony like furniture was in place, elegant and refined.

It was beautiful.

"I had Nate paint," his mother, Leta said.

"When?" Deanna asked.

"Two months ago."

When they found out.

"Why?" Adrien asked.

Leta's grey eyes glittered with amusement. "Because we're having a grand baby coming and we wanted to be prepared. What kind of grandparents would we be without every intention of spoiling their first grandchild?"

Something thawed in Adrien's chest and Deanna's arm hooked around his waist. Almost on cue, Adrien heard the sound of small feet going in a dead run through the hallway. Adrien turned just in time to see Nik push past them and into the room. At two and a half years, Nik was still too small for his wings, but he was nothing short of the hellion he thought he would be.

Nik whirled on them and Adrien rose his brows at the spaghetti sauce coating Nik's bare chest and half his face. "A-bin!"

Adrien offered him a small smile and Nik barreled into him into a tight hug. Adrien picked his brother up and grimaced at the spaghetti sauce. "Why are you so messy?" Adrien said, wiping some of the sauce off his brother's cheek.

Nik giggled and started babbling. Adrien looked at Deanna, who was looking at NIk with bright eyes. He could feel her happiness, her awe in his shadows and a small smile curled on her face as Nik gave Adrien an open mouth kiss on his cheek. Adrien grimaced and sighed at the sauce now all over his own white shirt.

Leta snorted. "That would be courtesy of Cameron. He was here for a bit when Nate and Bay were and he got Nik to eat some."

"Eating would be an overstatement," Adrien observed, dryly. "He seems to be wearing half his food." Nik smacked his face and Adrien took Nik's wrist and frowned at him. "Don't hit."

Nik blew raspberries and started wiggling. "Lemme down."

Adrien obliged and Nik started back down the hall, shrieking in laughter.

He wasn't all too sure if he were fond or not of the idea of Cameron spending time with his brothers, but he seemed decent enough. Otherwise Bay or his father would have ended him long ago.

\-----

Ash walked with Celeste through the Autumn Court, with her on his arm. The balmy air brushed against him and he was all too aware of the feeling of Celeste's fingers curled into his arm, of her heart beating in rhythm to his own.

The citizens of his court... frowned upon his relationship with Celeste and he could not give a single damn. But even so, that did not stop Ash's too short temper from snapping. Ash stopped dead in his tracks at the feeling of eyes on him and his lady. Celeste tried tugging him onward, but Ash shrugged away from her and sauntered towards the high fae with a lazy smile securely on his face/ "Do you have something to say?" Ash asked.

"Ash," Celeste scolded, quietly.  
  
He ignored her.  
  
"Well?" Ash prodded. "Don't keep your heir waiting. You won't like the end result."  
  
The male's heartbeat staccatoed in slight fear and Ash's smile grew. Summoning his magic, Ash cleared his vision and got a look at the male. He was tall, not as tall as him but still. He had the same ethereal beauty all fae did and the cold brashness in his eyes had Ash arching a sardonic brow.  
  
Clearing his throat the male said, "Do you think being with a lesser faerie is appropriate for someone of your title? Your status is too important for that of an illyrian bastard."   
  
Ash heard Celeste inhale sharply and he rasped a low laugh. Cold flames licking down his spine. "'Appropriate for my status?" Ash asked, calmly. "What makes you think I care for the thoughts of some random high fae male? Once you take away what you are, who are you? All I see is a high fae too self absorbed into his standing to realize he has nothing going for him. I choose to associate with the lesser fae and yet don't bat an eyelash when you're over here making eyes at me. Are you jealous?" Ash asked. "Would you rather it be you in my bed? You can't get the attention of the Prince of the Autumn Cout so you decide to go after his lady. But alas, your opinions fall flat and you do not matter. You will continue to be nothing until the day you are another forgotten memory in the minds of everyone. You are nothing and will always be nothing. And if you even so much as  _look_ at my lady, I will burn you slowly from the inside out until you are begging for death. Are we clear?"  
  
The male's face paled to parchment and Ash tilted his head in impatience. But when the male nodded wordlessly, Ash turned on his heel, resumed his place with Celeste and started back through the trees. He could feel her fighting the urge to say something and Ash said, "Spit it out, Celeste."  
  
"Was that necessary?" she whispered, sharply.

Ash looked down at her. "You are my  _lady_ ," he said. "I protect what is mine." He could almost feel her exasperated eye roll. "And either way, while your court has its own shade of ruthlessness, my court breeds a whole different level of monster. We're all foxes here babe. You show any hesitancy in this place and you're done for. That male was given decent enough warning. Most, wouldn't have given him even that. I was being merciful."

Celeste was quiet, her fingers going back to curl around his bicep. They walked in silence for a moment, the air around them thick with silence, but then she said, "I love you, Ash."

Ash kissed her temple. "I know."

\------------

The next month and a half went by, faster than Deanna could ever imagine. Her anxieties about her baby and her lack of knowledge when it came to be a mother, still clung at her, but it wasn't as... intense as before. Not when she got to watch Morrigan and Leta be mothers to NIk and Jude. Both little boys- it was clear, they were happy.

It was the dead of night when she was awoken by Adrien, shaking her awake. Darkness- pure darkness coated the room. But it wasn't night. It was Adrien's shadows and his hazel gold eyes were animal bright in the wake of it all. It was then, that Deanna felt the wetness beneath her and a cramp go through her.

Her water broke.

And- labor.

Cauldron.

Deanna doubled over, gripping Adrien's arm, nails digging in as she panted through the pain coursing through her. She had had her wrist broken, she had nearly died on mission, she had known pain, but the pain she had known paled in comparison to the pain crawling up her back, around her stomach. And it was only going to get worse. Deanna glared up at Adrien.

" _You did this_."

Adrien's eyes gleamed in thinly veiled amusement- and fear and pain-  _her_ pain. And Deanna dropped her head, a small, helpless sound coming out of her against her will. She didn't bother looking up as the bedroom door opened. She knew it was Mor.

Mor took a step forward and a low, vicious warning growl was in Adrien's throat, and she dared to look up to see his eyes blown out, so dark and primally pinned on his mother. But Mor didn't blink, she didn't even yield a step as she calmly said, "Go get water and towels. We need to strip your bed so she can be as comfortable as she can while she gives birth. Understand?"

Adrien blinked, once, twice.

And slowly- silently- got up to do as told.

Deanna felt so useless as both Adrien and Mor- and soon Leta and Azriel went about getting everything ready. Her temper whetted brutally as the contractions wracked through her, growing less and less apart and the realization- the realization of her baby going to be here, soon.

But seven hours later, Deanna was still breathing through nothing but back labor, and now situated between Adrien's legs. Sweat coated both their bodies, her hair hung damp past her shoulders and Deanna had taken off Adrien's shirt an hour before. It was too  _damn hot_. Pain racked through her body, and she wanted to claw everyone's faces off.

Adrien was somehow perfectly calm while at the same time completely having a silent melt down. He was just as afraid-  _terrified_  as she. But as the next contraction slammed through her, Deanna only thought  _this was his fault_.

Adrien grunted in pain as her fingers- her contractions dug through him and she panted, "If you come anywhere near me again, I will  _castrate you_."

Adrien silently pressed his lips to her head and said, "Okay."

Both Mor and Azriel exchanged looks, their faces nothing short of amusement. Obviously they found this all just funny as hell. Deanna though, she looked at Celeste settled down between her legs- at her friend who she chose to deliver. "Please," she rasped, " _Please_ tell me I can  _get him out of me_."

She nearly sobbed in relief as Celeste nodded. "Yes. It's time to start pushing."

\-------

Adrien had never felt more pain in his entire life. He thought the pain he felt when tortured in the Blood Rite was horrible- when his wings were shredded and side ripped open- he thought that was painful. But it was nothing compared to the pain of this. He was almost sure he would rather be lit on fire.

Adrien steered himself, trying to block out the pain and to focus on Deanna settled between his legs. Celeste's orders to Deanna were dull roars in his ears and nails bit into his thighs, her back pushed against him while she pushed. It felt like forever, this pain and fear, but everything, everything went gloriously still when he heard the crying.

Deanna nearly melted back against him when Celeste handed her a small bundle swaddled in a dark blue blanket. Tears slipped silently from Adrien's eyes as Deanna brushed shaky fingers across the babe's golden brown face. "Hi baby," she whispered, so soft, Adrien almost didn't hear it.

"You have a son," Celeste said.

A son.

Adrien pressed his lips to Deanna's bare shoulder as those words clanged through him. A son. He had a  _son._

He barely heard his parents or Celeste leave the room to them as the babe's eyes rested on his, as bright as his mother's.

"Mattias," Deanna said. "I want to name him Mattias."

Adrien silently laced his fingers in Mattias' wispy black hair and murmured, "Mattias Blake Verrum. It's a good name."

Named after two people who were as bright as the sun, who lived life to their own rule. Who were happy, who were as apart of both her and his souls as now this little boy in front of them was.

\--------

Over the next few years, Adrien had never been more relieved- and happy- to see Mattias grow into the small babbling little boy that he was. His wild curls seemed to soak in the sunlight and he had, thank the cauldron, had not yet shown signs of his shadows but his wings... Mattias had wings and the first time Mattias had touched off the ground, he was sure Deanna was going to have a heart attack.

They had moved out of the townhouse after a few months and into a small house by the Sidra. It had two bedrooms and was more than big enough for them and their son. Even now, it felt as if it was all a dream. That he got to wake up to this little boy and his wife every day.

Adrien was on the ground, watching Mattias run away screeching as waves chased after him. Mattias crumbled to the ground, sand flying in the air and it was an effort to not get up and make sure he was okay. But Mattias merely got to his feet and started back up, his blue and black clothes now covered in sandy flecks.

Shadows stirring, Adrien felt, more than heard or saw, a familiar crackling presence that had been gone for the last seven years. Something deep inside his soul drew tight as he heard a crackling feminine voice say his name. Softly, Adrien said, "Hello Mazakynn."

Maze sat down next to him and Adrien looked at her. That curly black hair was back in its braid, her amber eyes as bright as ever. And- she was happy. She was happy and her mouth dropped completely as Mattias came toddling up to him, babbling his baby, speech. Adrien looked at his son, in time for Mattias to drop a sand dollar in his scar-flecked hand. "I found."

Adrien brushed a calloused thumb over the smooth shell. "Is this for me?" he asked Mattias.

"Yes."

" _You have a kid_ ," Maze blurted out. "When did you get a kid?"

Adrien snorted, tugging Mattias closer. He looked up into those bright cognac eyes. "You hungry?" Mattias smiled broadly and nodded. Adrien got to his feet, pulling Maze up with him and picked his son up. "Let's get you some food," he said, slipping an arm beneath Mattias' sandy legs. Mattias buried his face in Adrien's neck as they started down the walk. After a moment of listening to Mattias raspberry his neck, Adrien said, "He's three. We named him after my wife's uncle, Mattias."

Maze nodded, mostly to herself. "I didn't know you wanted kids," she said, quietly, eyes still on the little boy wiggling in Adrien's arms. "He looks just like you."

Adrien huffed a small laugh, pressing his lips in Mattias' hair. "No," he said, "He looks like his mother. The only thing he got from me, was my wings. Thankfully."

"You're too hard on yourself," she said. She paused. A heartbeat. "You grew out your hair. Get tired of being the only one without luscious locks?"

Adrien rolled his eyes. "No. I was just getting tired of my hair being in my eyes all the time while working." And because he enjoyed Deanna's fingers in it, but Maze did not need to know that.

But she smiled all the same.

They talked quietly while they walked through the street, towards the lone house at the end. It wasn't much, really. One floor, minimal decor and finely made, but comfortable furniture. The cabin in Hybern, though, had been smaller and was stretching too thin with Hector's disapproving eyes constantly on them.

While he did not mind it, Hector could think whatever the hell he wanted about him, Adrien did not want his wife or son around that.

The door opened before they made it even three feet near it, revealing Deanna in a stained baggy shirt and a pair of leggings, with her wild curls unbound and falling down her back. She had been working on cleaning and repairing weapons. So he took Mattias out by the water. He seemed to enjoy the ocean as much as Nik did.

Maze took in Deanna, as much as Deanna took in Maze. But where the easy smile on Maze's face rested, pure ice coated Deanna's. As cold as a winter dawn. Maze held out a hand and said, "I'm-"

Deanna cut her off. "I know who you are," she said, not unkindly, but with enough frost that Maze's brows arched. Deanna flicked those cognac eyes to Mattias. "Come here,  _mijo_. Let's let your father get re-aquainted while we wash up." Taking their son, Deanna looked over her shoulder at Maze. "You're welcome to dinner."

"I'd rather not if Adrien's cooking," Maze said.

A slash of a small smile. "Adrien doesn't do the cooking. We prefer our food to have some taste."Adrien rolled his eyes and Maze snorted. But Deanna looked at Mattias, who was chewing on his shirt. "Isn't that right?"

Mattias giggled, and Deanna disappeared back through the house, leaving them alone. Maze stared after her for a heartbeat, before dragging her eyes to Adrien. "She seems nice."

"She is," he said, leading her through the small house. Maze took in every detail, every piece of furniture, of every photograph, every piece of Adrien that had made its way from his heart and onto the walls around them.

"You're different," she said, softly.

"I had to watch you fall in love with someone else," Adrien said, heading into the kitchen. "You wouldn't be the same after that, either."

There was no regret in his voice, no emotion beyond truth. If Adrien had the choice, to go back and change it all, he wouldn't. She didn't even wince and he softly said, "Seven years is a long time, Maze, and I'm happy with my family. Are you happy with Cyrian?"

A quiet pause. "Yes."

"Good."

"It is," she said.

They all sat at the table, with Mattias between him and Deanna in his highchair. He babbled while they fed him and got caught back up. Maze's eyes were rested on Mattias the entire time.

\----

After dinner, Deanna cleaned up while Adrien took Mattias to get cleaned up. He had managed to wear more of his food than eat it, as per usual.

Maze was next to her, drying the dishes and the room was thick with silence. It wasn't hard, to see what had drawn Adrien to Maze. The girl was as bright as a forest fire. But fire's burned.

"I know who you are," Maze said. Deanna stiffened and Maze said, "Or at least your family. Even in Cretea. We learned about the different power brokers of the realm. The Alanis family... is infamous."

She knew that. Her entire family, going back for eons were trained killers, were the chosen assassins many went to to deliver violent, brutal messages. But when Mattias was born- when her father learned she had married Adrien, he cut her off from them all. Though her sisters still came around, her  _uncle_ still came around. Had even tried to get her father to see reason. But her father had not been seen in years. And she told herself she was okay with it. If only for her son.

Deanna asked coolly, "And?"

"You gave everything up for him, didn't you?"

Deanna shrugged slightly. "What is the point of wealth, of living, if you do not have someone to share it with? Adrien may not be my mate, but I love him and my son more than anything. You left to become a warrior, Maze, and I left to know peace."

Amber eyes bright, Maze said, "How did you meet?"

"I was sent to kill him." A snarl tore from Maze's throat and Deanna didn't even blink. "I didn't," she said, with brutal truth, "because he would have  _let_ me. I saw myself in that action, Maze. I looked at those dead hazel eyes and saw myself. So I stayed my hand because a part of me knew, if I had killed him, it would have been like killing myself. And I deserved better than that."

Maze blinked, her fingers unclawing from the counter, the wild primal in her eyes starting to ebb, and she gave her an odd look, seeing far too much than Deanna was okay with. After a moment of quiet staredown, Maze finally said, "You two are good together. He's quiet, but his quiet was always... violent somehow. Not a warrior's violence, but somewhere in his heart, he raged. And he feels too much. But... you softened it. Thank you, Deanna. Thank you for loving him."

"You don't need to thank me for that."

"But I shall anyways. It was nice meeting you, Deanna Alanis. I'm glad to know you."

Deanna was quiet for a moment, searching her face. But only truth and sincerity showed in those eyes. "You too."

\------

Adrien could hear the females talking while Mattias splashed in the tub. Squealing, Mattias splashed harder, sending water right into Adrien's face.

"Mattias," Adrien groaned, wiping his face with his discarded shirt. "We have talked about this.  _Stop splashing me_."

Mattias giggled, and from the hallway, Maze said, "He's three. And a boy. You'd have better luck nailing jello to a tree."

"You're hilarious," he deadpanned.

"I thought so," she said, brightly.

Adrien rolled his eyes and held out a scar flecked hand. "Hand me that towel."

She did and Adrien wrapped it around Mattias and picked him up, instantly getting even more wet. This was exactly why he did not wear a shirt while bathing his kid.

It was harder than Adrien cared to admit, to get Mattias in his footie pajamas. They were dark blue and covered in little stars. His wild curls glistened with water.

And even harder to get him in bed.

But Deanna read to him, a child's book in her native tongue. Adrien had the words memorized, and he hoped Mattias would have a much easier time grasping onto reading than he did. Mattias closed his eyes and he began dozing off, his face buried in his bear.

Adrien watched Mattias sleep soundly before letting himself be dragged by his wife through the room. Maze was waiting for him by the front door, her arms folded over her chest. Deanna squeezed his arm, leaving them alone.

They looked at each other in silence and while she still looked the same, her cheeks were sharper, eyes older. But... calmer. Steadier. The warrior she had so desperately wanted to be.

Adrien was moving before he even realized what he was doing. He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Her scent filled his nose and she put her chin on his shoulder, her fingers pressing into his back. "You're wrong," she murmured.

He pulled back and looked at her with a frown. Her eyes were bright, knowing. "That little boy is just like you." He stopped breathing and she patted his chest, his heart. "In here. He's like you in here. Like I said, you're too hard on yourself."

Before he could say anything, before he could  _think_ of what to say, Maze got on her toes, kissed his cheek and then disappeared through the front door.

Adrien watched her go until he felt Deanna come up beside him and wrap her arm around his middle. She had changed into one of his shirts. "Come to bed," she said.

Adrien felt himself start to nod and she laced their hands and tugged him back to their bedroom. She barely had the door closed when he had her pressed to the wall and had his mouth on hers. Her scent- that damned scent filled his nose- instantly replacing Maze's.

Fingers laced in his hair, tugging him down, down, down. Citrus filed his nose, his veins and he chased to as far as it would allow him. His teeth sinking in her throat. Adrien felt her groan prickle his skin, skating shivers down his spine. But before he could rip the shirt off her, his shadows stirred, and she huffed a quiet laugh. Seconds before crying echoed off the walls.

Peeling away from her, Adrien wiped the blood from his mouth with his finger and thumb and said, "Never fails." He kissed her cheek and opened the door. "Go ahead and get in bed. I'll go check on him."

She did so and Adrien started down the hall to the bedroom, but he made it five feet before a little boy barrelled into him. And fell back on his bottom. Wide cognac eyes met his and Adrien knelt and helped him up to his feet. " _Tuviste una pesadilla?"_ Did you have a nightmare?

With tear stained cheeks, Mattias nodded. He held up his arms, wanting Adrien to take him to bed with him. And of course, Adrien wasn't going to say no. Not when he recalled all the times he had crawled in bed with Blake growing up.

Sighing, Adrien picked him up and took Mattias back to his and Deanna's bedroom. Mattias crawled into the sheets and instantly latched onto his mother, face buried in her chest. Deanna huffed an amused laugh but kissed the top of his head. Adrien climbed in beside them, turning off the lamp by the bed and he settled into his pillow with a protective arm around Mattias. ANd let sleep pull him under.

\-------

The last seven years, Bay had begun deciphering the maps and journals and tomes left in David Odium's care. With his disability of the damned moving letters, it was far harder than he cared to admit to translate. Even with the help of Amren.

Valg. They said. A demon race, capable of unspeakable horror, of a land of eternal night and darkness and wind and cold. Bay wasn't sure if he were impressed or horrified of the level of mayhem that legend told just one of these creatures could bring. Amren... could, aloof Amren... had been unsettled by such creatures. Her small, slender hand had went instinctively went to the small swell of her abdomen.

These.. Were what Bay was  _made_ for. To protect against, if David were to be believed. Even if these books offered no help on how to beat them. Another enemy to prepare for. His life was a requiem, and he was sure, the song would keep singing long after he was dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp, this is the last of the line for this fic and I am so thankful to everyone who reads my stories. Now that this is over, I shall return back to Ties that BInd (and Mine, periodically) before starting a crossover between the tog and acotar world
> 
> So thank you thank you thank you for letting me share these characters with you

**Author's Note:**

> comments are loved XO


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